Epictetus was a Greek Roman philosopher

of the Hellenistic period he managed to

overcome huge obstacles in developing

from a crippled Roman slave to become

one of the most popular and sought-after

philosophers of his time

he was one of the most influential

teachers of the latter years of the

school of stoicism and considered by

some to be the greatest of the Stoics as

many people are considering how they're

going to improve their life in the new

year what habits they're going to change

how they're going to make their life

better in general we bring you ten

lessons from Epictetus discourses that

will help you in keeping your New Year's

resolutions number one keep your

resolutions simple Epictetus says

practice yourself for heaven's sake in

little things and then proceed to

greater

Epictetus advises us to keep our

resolutions simple and realistic often

when the new year is ending many of us

find ourselves gathering up our

willpower for a brand new set of New

Year's resolutions we aim for an

overhaul of our entire lifestyle and

this is simply a recipe for

disappointment and guilt here's a crazy

statistic from a research study if you

focus on only establishing one habit for

30 days your likelihood of continuing

that habit one year later is 80% but if

you had a second habit to the 30-day

period your one-year success rate drops

to 35% simply adding one more thing

means you're probably going to fail at

both hence the best approach is to focus

clearly on one of your most important

goals the best way to choose your

resolution is by asking yourself what

will have the greatest impact on your

happiness health and fulfillment for

example giving up smoking will obviously

improve your health but it will also

give you a sense of pride and will make

you happy the idea here is not to aim

too high and ignore reality remember

there will always be more opportunities

to start on the next phase or

concentrate on other things

so set realistic goals once you figure

out what your resolution is it's time to

build a practical plan of action to help

you accomplish

that goal you shouldn't just commit to

your goals but commit to all the little

actions that you take along the way in

the pursuit of those goals you can start

with forming an effective plan of action

that's comprised of a deadline for

accomplishing your goal it must also be

built on the foundation of mini

milestones that break your goal down

into manageable chunks mini milestones

will ensure that you're working towards

your desired outcome in small pieces and

time blocks number two routine is

everything in the words of Epictetus if

you want to do something make a habit of

it the Stoics were big on habits and

routines

it appears that Marcus Aurelius had a

morning ritual which was a sort of

preparation for the day Seneca had a

ritual of reflecting on each day's end

the truth is even after having a solid

resolution and a practical plan 95% of

us fail to achieve our goals we fail

because we fail to be consistent let's

assume that your resolution is to run a

marathon and you've trained hard for the

first seven days on the eighth day you

get that voice in your head telling you

you know what I've been doing pretty

great and I can afford to take a day off

and indeed you actually take a day off

this first justification means that the

next day you'll feel more compelled to

do it again and you'll become more and

more lazy and eventually you quit your

new resolutions will only shape up if

you make them your habit by being

consistent how elrod in his book the

miracle morning tells us that we need to

be consistent for the first 30 days to

develop this new routine we need to

divide the 30-day time frame into three

10-day phases each of these phases

presents a different set of emotional

challenges and mental roadblocks to

sticking with the new habit again

assuming your goal of running a marathon

the first 10 days of running will be

both physically painful and mentally

challenging

every single day you'll fight a constant

battle in your head with the voice of

mediocrity telling you it's okay to quit

do what's right not what's easy days 11

to 20 will be slightly less painful you

may not like it but you won't hate it

either

you'll start forming that habit of

running every day and it will no longer

be a scary thing in fact it'll just feel

normal to wake up and run days 21 to 30

you'll start enjoying it will no longer

battle with negative thoughts and you'll

realize that this new habit of waking up

and running has been formed follow this

30-day cycle with all of your

resolutions and your chances of giving

up on them will really come down number

3 replace bad habits

according to Epictetus to make anything

a habit do it to not make it a habit do

not do it to unmake a habit do something

else in place of it bad habits are the

habits that interrupt your life and

prevent you from accomplishing your

goals they don't only waste your time

and energy but have a negative effect on

your health both mentally and physically

most of your bad habits are caused by

two things stress and boredom everything

from smoking to overspending on a

shopping spree to drinking every weekend

to wasting time on the Internet can be a

simple response to stress and boredom

according to epictetus sickness grows in

mind but it doesn't have to be that way

in this new year you can teach yourself

new and healthy ways to deal with your

stress and boredom which you can then

substitute in place of your bad habits

it's important to remember that whatever

the habits you have right now whether

good or bad they're in your life for a

reason

in some way these habits must provide a

benefit to you even if they're bad for

you in other ways when you stay in a

relationship that's bad for you a bad

habit like smoking becomes a simple way

to cope with stress because bad habits

provide some type of benefit in your

life

it's very difficult to simply eliminate

them which is why you need to replace a

bad habit with a new habit that provides

a similar benefit the best way to find a

substitute for your bad habit is to have

a plan ahead of time for how you respond

when you face the stress or boredom that

prompts your bad habit for example

chronic breathing exercises whenever you

have an urge to smoke or write one

sentence for work whenever you feel like

procrastinating on social media the idea

is to replace a bad habit with a new

habit that provides a similar benefit if

you simply cut out bad habits without

replacing them then you'll have certain

needs that will be unmet and it's gonna

be hard to stick to a routine for very

long number four don't share your

resolutions with everyone as we learn

from epictetus let's silence be your

goal for the most part say only what is

necessary and be brief about it whenever

we pick our resolution we proudly

proclaim to anyone who'd listen for in

love with sharing our goals our ideas

our new habits with the world however

according to recent research making a

public statement of your goals may not

be such a good idea imagine again that

your resolution is to train for a

marathon you're optimistic and genuinely

serious about making a go of it so you

tell all of your friends and family so

that they can support you what these

studies show is that as soon as we tell

someone we feel an instant sense of

relief as though we'd already

accomplished that goal that we'd set out

to achieve this is what is known as

social reality simply having your goal

acknowledged makes it a part of your

identity and results in a rush of

feel-good reward hormones

unfortunately this satisfaction then

tricks your brain into thinking that the

jobs already done and then you feel less

motivated to actually go out and really

achieve the goal it's like it's already

happened as you go and tell your friends

about running a marathon

your friends will start to think of you

as someone who's run a marathon in that

way you'll achieve the satisfaction of

completing the marathon and it's less

likely that you'll train hard for it

another good reason not to tell people

your goals is that

can then end up judging your actions

which may end up being unhelpful in the

long run tell someone you want to run a

marathon for instance and you can find

that they end up giving you looks every

time you don't train or relax this can

actually remove your determination to

stick to a training regime as nobody

likes being controlled and our natural

tendency is to do the opposite of what

we feel pressured into doing if you wish

to share your resolutions then share

them with an accountability partner your

mentor or anyone who's ready to help you

with your goal but not with everyone

else number 5

give no excuses Epictetus says there

were two vices much blacker and more

serious than the rest lack of

persistence and lack of self-control

persist and resist with every new year

we all gear up and prepare our new

year's resolution list unfortunately

with these new resolutions comes new

excuses when you decide on following a

new diet or on learning a new skill it

all starts off well with lots of

enthusiasm but along the way you start

making rationalizations that revolve

around people or events that are

supposedly keeping us from taking action

towards our goals these rationalizations

are nothing but excuses the reasons we

create to defend our behavior to

postpone taking action or simply as a

means of neglecting responsibilities

some of the most common excuses are I

just can't find the time to do it I

don't know where to start or even it's

too expensive or maybe I'll do it later

these excuses are so common that we

don't even realise when we're using them

as weapons against our goals when you

make excuses or victimize yourself you

relinquish control and absolve yourself

of personal responsibility and without a

sense of ownership meaningful progress

becomes an impossible task to be

persistent think of your resolution like

a rent agreement once you sign that

contract you're required to pay an

amount of money to your landlord and if

you fail you're thrown out there are no

excuses here you're always under

constant pressure to honor the agreement

and you work hard for the money your new

year's resolution is like her rental

agreement that you need to honor without

making excuses number six don't wait for

other people's validation in the words

of Epictetus never depend on the

admiration of others there's no strength

in it personal merit cannot be derived

from an external source it is not to be

found in your personal associations nor

can it be found in the regard of other

people the whole idea of validation is

to get a go-ahead sign from others the

concept of validation is primarily about

getting others to tell you that you're

on the right path unfortunately not

everyone in your life is encouraging

they may either intentionally dissuade

you or not understand your goals and

hence dissuade you from following

through on them often our resolutions

don't fit too well with others simply

because they have different perspectives

on a similar situation let's say for

example that one of your new year's

resolutions is to work on building your

own business but when you go and discuss

it with a friend they might try and put

you off by saying you sure you'll be

able to do it why don't you just stick

with your job but least you'll get a

fixed income first we need to understand

why they're discouraging you from

starting your own business to see

whether they have any genuine

contribution to make or if they're

dissuading you because of their own fear

or lack of confidence if it's lack of

confidence then these people are

naysayers naysayers will say nay or no

as we say nowadays to every single thing

you say they barely ever have meaningful

contributions that actually make sense

but they'll still try to sabotage your

resolutions by giving you their input

anyway another example that we can all

relate to would be our New Year's

resolution to eat more healthily while

most of us try really hard to stick

through this resolution naysayers will

try to get you to break that resolution

by saying just eat a slice of pizza come

on the odd slice now and again won't do

anyone any harm

we all know that the odds slice now in a

game will definitely hurt your

resolutions in the long run the whole

point here is that you need to follow

your resolutions without needing others

to accept them after all they're your

resolutions for a reason according to

stoic philosophy one must not pay

attention to what others think of them

what others think of you or your goals

is not in your control but what is in

your control is your character that is

how you'll reach your goals hence it's

best to focus on what you're doing and

not what other people are saying so

surround yourself with other positive

people and don't wait for others to give

you a thumbs up number 7 reward yourself

as Epictetus put so succinctly I pat

myself on the head reinforcing yourself

and giving yourself rewards is at the

center of making a behavior more regular

when you begin rewarding yourself for

your actions you're reinforcing yourself

to continue doing what you're doing

helping you get closer to your

resolutions goal the best way to keep

yourself motivated is by setting up

milestones and corresponding rewards for

those milestones you could even make the

rewards more and more rewarding with

every major milestone you cross make

sure you keep a list of the rewards

handy so you can keep yourself motivated

throughout the process of following up

on your resolution let's take an example

if your resolution is to save up her bit

of extra money your milestone in this

case could be a successful month of well

planned budgeting once you've achieved

this milestone give yourself a small but

meaningful reward it could be drinking

your favorite wine or eating a box of

your favorite chocolates your rewards

might not be material or a tangible

thing it could be anything but you

really care about the idea is to give

yourself more reasons to follow up on

your resolutions by conferring

attractive rewards on yourself however

you must keep in mind that your rewards

should not hinder your progress for

example don't reward yourself for your

weight loss by binge eating on junk food

as a reward make sure to do your best

and pack in some great

Ward's to get you to reach your goal

number eight review your day to quote

Epictetus never allow sleep to close

your eyelids after you went to bed until

you have examined all your actions of

the day by your reason one of the best

ways to keep track of your progress is

to scrutinize yourself and find your

weak spots be brutally honest and use

this time to connect with your

subconscious practicing evening

retrospection x' on a consistent basis

will allow you to become more self-aware

through every step of your day because

you'll actively be gathering information

to formulate and articulate constructive

answers to these questions what did I do

well today where was my discipline and

self-control tested where did I do good

what did I do bad why did this occur and

furthermore how can I improve the key to

getting your basic steps right is to

keep assessing your actions regularly

making sure they lead you to your new

year's resolution keeping a tab on your

progress not only helps you in staying

more focused but also allows you to

identify probable problems that might be

roadblocks on your path to successfully

fulfilling your resolution number 9

never ever ever give up

according to Epictetus if you are once

defeated and say you will get the

victory another time and then the same

thing over again and then the same thing

over again you can be sure that you will

at last be reduced to so weak and

wretched a condition when we fall short

of what we're expected to do we give up

for example if your resolution is to

lose weight and do skip on exercising

you'll tell yourself you'll be regular

from next Monday and then the next

Monday comes and you'll say I'll be

regular from the first of next month and

then next month you'll end up saying

that you'll start doing it next year but

then it never happens and you give up

you need to understand that even if you

fail once for example if you didn't

exercise when you know you should have

this doesn't define your character

your ability to keep going is what molds

you into a disciplined and strong person

a bad day doesn't have to become a bad

week a bad week doesn't have to become a

bad year but if you give up on the

things that matter most to you you'll

likely establish a pattern of giving up

on anything when things don't go the way

you hoped you won't learn the importance

of persistence and anything worthwhile

requires persistence so never ever give

up the moment you wake up remember that

the new day is a new life and move

forward by opening your eyes and

focusing on what's in front of you which

is your own life itself number 10

always keep evolving in our final piece

of wisdom from epictetus we learn first

say to yourself what you would be and

then do what you have to do the theory

of evolution which we believe is the

fundamental theory of life implies that

everything in the universe is constantly

evolving and hence it's imperfect which

is why there's always room for

improvement with this in mind life must

be ever-changing and ever dynamically a

journey towards improvement if you are

consistent with your approach to your

resolutions there'll be a time when

you'll have your goals achieved at this

point take a break and say I did it even

if that just means going out to a nice

dinner

but as per the stoic philosophy you

shouldn't get carried away with your

success you should always look for ways

to evolve your ambitions you don't have

to wait for the next year to try some

new resolution and gain new experiences

so that you have new things to work

towards life will always provide you

with the opportunity to find a new

purpose and all it takes is going out

there and doing everything that improves

you as a person

we at philosophies for life wish you a

very happy New Year to you and all your

family if you like this video do make

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