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Epictetus was a Greek Roman philosopher

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of the Hellenistic period he managed to

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overcome huge obstacles in developing

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from a crippled Roman slave to become

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one of the most popular and sought-after

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philosophers of his time

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he was one of the most influential

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teachers of the latter years of the

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school of stoicism and considered by

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some to be the greatest of the Stoics as

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many people are considering how they're

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going to improve their life in the new

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year what habits they're going to change

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how they're going to make their life

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better in general we bring you ten

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lessons from Epictetus discourses that

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will help you in keeping your New Year's

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resolutions number one keep your

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resolutions simple Epictetus says

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practice yourself for heaven's sake in

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little things and then proceed to

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greater

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Epictetus advises us to keep our

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resolutions simple and realistic often

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when the new year is ending many of us

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find ourselves gathering up our

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willpower for a brand new set of New

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Year's resolutions we aim for an

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overhaul of our entire lifestyle and

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this is simply a recipe for

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disappointment and guilt here's a crazy

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statistic from a research study if you

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focus on only establishing one habit for

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30 days your likelihood of continuing

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that habit one year later is 80% but if

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you had a second habit to the 30-day

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period your one-year success rate drops

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to 35% simply adding one more thing

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means you're probably going to fail at

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both hence the best approach is to focus

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clearly on one of your most important

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goals the best way to choose your

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resolution is by asking yourself what

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will have the greatest impact on your

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happiness health and fulfillment for

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example giving up smoking will obviously

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improve your health but it will also

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give you a sense of pride and will make

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you happy the idea here is not to aim

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too high and ignore reality remember

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there will always be more opportunities

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to start on the next phase or

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concentrate on other things

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so set realistic goals once you figure

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out what your resolution is it's time to

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build a practical plan of action to help

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you accomplish

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that goal you shouldn't just commit to

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your goals but commit to all the little

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actions that you take along the way in

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the pursuit of those goals you can start

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with forming an effective plan of action

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that's comprised of a deadline for

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accomplishing your goal it must also be

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built on the foundation of mini

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milestones that break your goal down

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into manageable chunks mini milestones

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will ensure that you're working towards

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your desired outcome in small pieces and

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time blocks number two routine is

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everything in the words of Epictetus if

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you want to do something make a habit of

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it the Stoics were big on habits and

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routines

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it appears that Marcus Aurelius had a

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morning ritual which was a sort of

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preparation for the day Seneca had a

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ritual of reflecting on each day's end

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the truth is even after having a solid

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resolution and a practical plan 95% of

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us fail to achieve our goals we fail

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because we fail to be consistent let's

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assume that your resolution is to run a

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marathon and you've trained hard for the

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first seven days on the eighth day you

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get that voice in your head telling you

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you know what I've been doing pretty

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great and I can afford to take a day off

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and indeed you actually take a day off

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this first justification means that the

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next day you'll feel more compelled to

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do it again and you'll become more and

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more lazy and eventually you quit your

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new resolutions will only shape up if

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you make them your habit by being

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consistent how elrod in his book the

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miracle morning tells us that we need to

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be consistent for the first 30 days to

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develop this new routine we need to

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divide the 30-day time frame into three

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10-day phases each of these phases

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presents a different set of emotional

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challenges and mental roadblocks to

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sticking with the new habit again

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assuming your goal of running a marathon

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the first 10 days of running will be

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both physically painful and mentally

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challenging

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every single day you'll fight a constant

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battle in your head with the voice of

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mediocrity telling you it's okay to quit

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do what's right not what's easy days 11

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to 20 will be slightly less painful you

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may not like it but you won't hate it

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either

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you'll start forming that habit of

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running every day and it will no longer

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be a scary thing in fact it'll just feel

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normal to wake up and run days 21 to 30

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you'll start enjoying it will no longer

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battle with negative thoughts and you'll

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realize that this new habit of waking up

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and running has been formed follow this

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30-day cycle with all of your

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resolutions and your chances of giving

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up on them will really come down number

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3 replace bad habits

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according to Epictetus to make anything

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a habit do it to not make it a habit do

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not do it to unmake a habit do something

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else in place of it bad habits are the

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habits that interrupt your life and

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prevent you from accomplishing your

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goals they don't only waste your time

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and energy but have a negative effect on

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your health both mentally and physically

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most of your bad habits are caused by

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two things stress and boredom everything

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from smoking to overspending on a

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shopping spree to drinking every weekend

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to wasting time on the Internet can be a

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simple response to stress and boredom

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according to epictetus sickness grows in

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mind but it doesn't have to be that way

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in this new year you can teach yourself

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new and healthy ways to deal with your

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stress and boredom which you can then

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substitute in place of your bad habits

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it's important to remember that whatever

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the habits you have right now whether

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good or bad they're in your life for a

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reason

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in some way these habits must provide a

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benefit to you even if they're bad for

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you in other ways when you stay in a

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relationship that's bad for you a bad

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habit like smoking becomes a simple way

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to cope with stress because bad habits

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provide some type of benefit in your

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life

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it's very difficult to simply eliminate

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them which is why you need to replace a

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bad habit with a new habit that provides

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a similar benefit the best way to find a

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substitute for your bad habit is to have

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a plan ahead of time for how you respond

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when you face the stress or boredom that

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prompts your bad habit for example

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chronic breathing exercises whenever you

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have an urge to smoke or write one

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sentence for work whenever you feel like

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procrastinating on social media the idea

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is to replace a bad habit with a new

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habit that provides a similar benefit if

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you simply cut out bad habits without

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replacing them then you'll have certain

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needs that will be unmet and it's gonna

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be hard to stick to a routine for very

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long number four don't share your

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resolutions with everyone as we learn

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from epictetus let's silence be your

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goal for the most part say only what is

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necessary and be brief about it whenever

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we pick our resolution we proudly

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proclaim to anyone who'd listen for in

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love with sharing our goals our ideas

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our new habits with the world however

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according to recent research making a

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public statement of your goals may not

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be such a good idea imagine again that

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your resolution is to train for a

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marathon you're optimistic and genuinely

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serious about making a go of it so you

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tell all of your friends and family so

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that they can support you what these

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studies show is that as soon as we tell

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someone we feel an instant sense of

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relief as though we'd already

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accomplished that goal that we'd set out

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to achieve this is what is known as

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social reality simply having your goal

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acknowledged makes it a part of your

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identity and results in a rush of

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feel-good reward hormones

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unfortunately this satisfaction then

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tricks your brain into thinking that the

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jobs already done and then you feel less

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motivated to actually go out and really

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achieve the goal it's like it's already

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happened as you go and tell your friends

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about running a marathon

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your friends will start to think of you

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as someone who's run a marathon in that

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way you'll achieve the satisfaction of

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completing the marathon and it's less

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likely that you'll train hard for it

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another good reason not to tell people

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your goals is that

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can then end up judging your actions

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which may end up being unhelpful in the

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long run tell someone you want to run a

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marathon for instance and you can find

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that they end up giving you looks every

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time you don't train or relax this can

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actually remove your determination to

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stick to a training regime as nobody

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likes being controlled and our natural

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tendency is to do the opposite of what

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we feel pressured into doing if you wish

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to share your resolutions then share

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them with an accountability partner your

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mentor or anyone who's ready to help you

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with your goal but not with everyone

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else number 5

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give no excuses Epictetus says there

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were two vices much blacker and more

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serious than the rest lack of

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persistence and lack of self-control

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persist and resist with every new year

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we all gear up and prepare our new

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year's resolution list unfortunately

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with these new resolutions comes new

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excuses when you decide on following a

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new diet or on learning a new skill it

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all starts off well with lots of

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enthusiasm but along the way you start

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making rationalizations that revolve

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around people or events that are

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supposedly keeping us from taking action

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towards our goals these rationalizations

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are nothing but excuses the reasons we

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create to defend our behavior to

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postpone taking action or simply as a

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means of neglecting responsibilities

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some of the most common excuses are I

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just can't find the time to do it I

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don't know where to start or even it's

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too expensive or maybe I'll do it later

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these excuses are so common that we

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don't even realise when we're using them

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as weapons against our goals when you

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make excuses or victimize yourself you

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relinquish control and absolve yourself

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of personal responsibility and without a

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sense of ownership meaningful progress

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becomes an impossible task to be

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persistent think of your resolution like

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a rent agreement once you sign that

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contract you're required to pay an

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amount of money to your landlord and if

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you fail you're thrown out there are no

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excuses here you're always under

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constant pressure to honor the agreement

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and you work hard for the money your new

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year's resolution is like her rental

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agreement that you need to honor without

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making excuses number six don't wait for

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other people's validation in the words

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of Epictetus never depend on the

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admiration of others there's no strength

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in it personal merit cannot be derived

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from an external source it is not to be

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found in your personal associations nor

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can it be found in the regard of other

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people the whole idea of validation is

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to get a go-ahead sign from others the

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concept of validation is primarily about

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getting others to tell you that you're

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on the right path unfortunately not

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everyone in your life is encouraging

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they may either intentionally dissuade

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you or not understand your goals and

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hence dissuade you from following

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through on them often our resolutions

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don't fit too well with others simply

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because they have different perspectives

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on a similar situation let's say for

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example that one of your new year's

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resolutions is to work on building your

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own business but when you go and discuss

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it with a friend they might try and put

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you off by saying you sure you'll be

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able to do it why don't you just stick

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with your job but least you'll get a

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fixed income first we need to understand

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why they're discouraging you from

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starting your own business to see

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whether they have any genuine

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contribution to make or if they're

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dissuading you because of their own fear

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or lack of confidence if it's lack of

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confidence then these people are

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naysayers naysayers will say nay or no

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as we say nowadays to every single thing

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you say they barely ever have meaningful

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contributions that actually make sense

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but they'll still try to sabotage your

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resolutions by giving you their input

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anyway another example that we can all

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relate to would be our New Year's

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resolution to eat more healthily while

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most of us try really hard to stick

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through this resolution naysayers will

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try to get you to break that resolution

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by saying just eat a slice of pizza come

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on the odd slice now and again won't do

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anyone any harm

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we all know that the odds slice now in a

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game will definitely hurt your

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resolutions in the long run the whole

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point here is that you need to follow

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your resolutions without needing others

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to accept them after all they're your

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resolutions for a reason according to

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stoic philosophy one must not pay

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attention to what others think of them

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what others think of you or your goals

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is not in your control but what is in

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your control is your character that is

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how you'll reach your goals hence it's

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best to focus on what you're doing and

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not what other people are saying so

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surround yourself with other positive

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people and don't wait for others to give

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you a thumbs up number 7 reward yourself

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as Epictetus put so succinctly I pat

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myself on the head reinforcing yourself

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and giving yourself rewards is at the

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center of making a behavior more regular

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when you begin rewarding yourself for

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your actions you're reinforcing yourself

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to continue doing what you're doing

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helping you get closer to your

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resolutions goal the best way to keep

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yourself motivated is by setting up

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milestones and corresponding rewards for

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those milestones you could even make the

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rewards more and more rewarding with

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every major milestone you cross make

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sure you keep a list of the rewards

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handy so you can keep yourself motivated

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throughout the process of following up

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on your resolution let's take an example

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if your resolution is to save up her bit

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of extra money your milestone in this

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case could be a successful month of well

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planned budgeting once you've achieved

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this milestone give yourself a small but

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meaningful reward it could be drinking

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your favorite wine or eating a box of

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your favorite chocolates your rewards

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might not be material or a tangible

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thing it could be anything but you

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really care about the idea is to give

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yourself more reasons to follow up on

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your resolutions by conferring

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attractive rewards on yourself however

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you must keep in mind that your rewards

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should not hinder your progress for

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example don't reward yourself for your

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weight loss by binge eating on junk food

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as a reward make sure to do your best

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and pack in some great

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Ward's to get you to reach your goal

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number eight review your day to quote

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Epictetus never allow sleep to close

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your eyelids after you went to bed until

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00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:28,929
you have examined all your actions of

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the day by your reason one of the best

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ways to keep track of your progress is

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to scrutinize yourself and find your

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weak spots be brutally honest and use

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this time to connect with your

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subconscious practicing evening

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00:15:40,329 --> 00:15:44,619
retrospection x' on a consistent basis

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will allow you to become more self-aware

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through every step of your day because

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you'll actively be gathering information

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to formulate and articulate constructive

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answers to these questions what did I do

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well today where was my discipline and

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00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:03,699
self-control tested where did I do good

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00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:07,209
what did I do bad why did this occur and

404
00:16:03,699 --> 00:16:09,459
furthermore how can I improve the key to

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00:16:07,209 --> 00:16:11,439
getting your basic steps right is to

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keep assessing your actions regularly

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making sure they lead you to your new

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00:16:13,569 --> 00:16:18,220
year's resolution keeping a tab on your

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00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:20,589
progress not only helps you in staying

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more focused but also allows you to

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identify probable problems that might be

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roadblocks on your path to successfully

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fulfilling your resolution number 9

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never ever ever give up

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according to Epictetus if you are once

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defeated and say you will get the

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00:16:37,299 --> 00:16:42,399
victory another time and then the same

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thing over again and then the same thing

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00:16:42,399 --> 00:16:48,189
over again you can be sure that you will

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at last be reduced to so weak and

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wretched a condition when we fall short

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of what we're expected to do we give up

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for example if your resolution is to

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lose weight and do skip on exercising

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you'll tell yourself you'll be regular

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from next Monday and then the next

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Monday comes and you'll say I'll be

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regular from the first of next month and

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00:17:08,439 --> 00:17:13,059
then next month you'll end up saying

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00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:15,449
that you'll start doing it next year but

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00:17:13,059 --> 00:17:18,730
then it never happens and you give up

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you need to understand that even if you

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fail once for example if you didn't

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exercise when you know you should have

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00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:28,390
this doesn't define your character

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00:17:25,260 --> 00:17:30,640
your ability to keep going is what molds

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00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:33,909
you into a disciplined and strong person

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00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:36,100
a bad day doesn't have to become a bad

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00:17:33,909 --> 00:17:38,440
week a bad week doesn't have to become a

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00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:40,659
bad year but if you give up on the

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00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,610
things that matter most to you you'll

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00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:44,440
likely establish a pattern of giving up

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on anything when things don't go the way

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00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:51,010
you hoped you won't learn the importance

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00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:54,669
of persistence and anything worthwhile

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00:17:51,010 --> 00:17:57,730
requires persistence so never ever give

447
00:17:54,669 --> 00:18:00,429
up the moment you wake up remember that

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the new day is a new life and move

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00:18:00,429 --> 00:18:04,720
forward by opening your eyes and

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00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:09,299
focusing on what's in front of you which

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00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:13,779
is your own life itself number 10

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always keep evolving in our final piece

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of wisdom from epictetus we learn first

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00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:23,980
say to yourself what you would be and

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then do what you have to do the theory

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of evolution which we believe is the

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fundamental theory of life implies that

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everything in the universe is constantly

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evolving and hence it's imperfect which

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is why there's always room for

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improvement with this in mind life must

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be ever-changing and ever dynamically a

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journey towards improvement if you are

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consistent with your approach to your

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resolutions there'll be a time when

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you'll have your goals achieved at this

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point take a break and say I did it even

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if that just means going out to a nice

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dinner

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but as per the stoic philosophy you

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shouldn't get carried away with your

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success you should always look for ways

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to evolve your ambitions you don't have

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to wait for the next year to try some

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new resolution and gain new experiences

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so that you have new things to work

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towards life will always provide you

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with the opportunity to find a new

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purpose and all it takes is going out

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00:19:21,970 --> 00:19:26,110
there and doing everything that improves

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you as a person

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we at philosophies for life wish you a

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00:19:28,450 --> 00:19:33,519
very happy New Year to you and all your

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00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:35,500
family if you like this video do make

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00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:37,570
sure to check out our stoicism playlist

486
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:39,519
and for more videos to help you find

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00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:41,710
success and Happiness using ancient

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00:19:39,519 --> 00:19:44,460
philosophical wisdom don't forget to

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00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:44,460
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