Epictetus was a Greek Roman philosopher
of the Hellenistic period he managed to
overcome huge obstacles in developing
from a crippled Roman slave to become
one of the most popular and sought-after
philosophers of his time
he was one of the most influential
teachers of the latter years of the
school of stoicism and considered by
some to be the greatest of the Stoics as
many people are considering how they're
going to improve their life in the new
year what habits they're going to change
how they're going to make their life
better in general we bring you ten
lessons from Epictetus discourses that
will help you in keeping your New Year's
resolutions number one keep your
resolutions simple Epictetus says
practice yourself for heaven's sake in
little things and then proceed to
greater
Epictetus advises us to keep our
resolutions simple and realistic often
when the new year is ending many of us
find ourselves gathering up our
willpower for a brand new set of New
Year's resolutions we aim for an
overhaul of our entire lifestyle and
this is simply a recipe for
disappointment and guilt here's a crazy
statistic from a research study if you
focus on only establishing one habit for
30 days your likelihood of continuing
that habit one year later is 80% but if
you had a second habit to the 30-day
period your one-year success rate drops
to 35% simply adding one more thing
means you're probably going to fail at
both hence the best approach is to focus
clearly on one of your most important
goals the best way to choose your
resolution is by asking yourself what
will have the greatest impact on your
happiness health and fulfillment for
example giving up smoking will obviously
improve your health but it will also
give you a sense of pride and will make
you happy the idea here is not to aim
too high and ignore reality remember
there will always be more opportunities
to start on the next phase or
concentrate on other things
so set realistic goals once you figure
out what your resolution is it's time to
build a practical plan of action to help
you accomplish
that goal you shouldn't just commit to
your goals but commit to all the little
actions that you take along the way in
the pursuit of those goals you can start
with forming an effective plan of action
that's comprised of a deadline for
accomplishing your goal it must also be
built on the foundation of mini
milestones that break your goal down
into manageable chunks mini milestones
will ensure that you're working towards
your desired outcome in small pieces and
time blocks number two routine is
everything in the words of Epictetus if
you want to do something make a habit of
it the Stoics were big on habits and
routines
it appears that Marcus Aurelius had a
morning ritual which was a sort of
preparation for the day Seneca had a
ritual of reflecting on each day's end
the truth is even after having a solid
resolution and a practical plan 95% of
us fail to achieve our goals we fail
because we fail to be consistent let's
assume that your resolution is to run a
marathon and you've trained hard for the
first seven days on the eighth day you
get that voice in your head telling you
you know what I've been doing pretty
great and I can afford to take a day off
and indeed you actually take a day off
this first justification means that the
next day you'll feel more compelled to
do it again and you'll become more and
more lazy and eventually you quit your
new resolutions will only shape up if
you make them your habit by being
consistent how elrod in his book the
miracle morning tells us that we need to
be consistent for the first 30 days to
develop this new routine we need to
divide the 30-day time frame into three
10-day phases each of these phases
presents a different set of emotional
challenges and mental roadblocks to
sticking with the new habit again
assuming your goal of running a marathon
the first 10 days of running will be
both physically painful and mentally
challenging
every single day you'll fight a constant
battle in your head with the voice of
mediocrity telling you it's okay to quit
do what's right not what's easy days 11
to 20 will be slightly less painful you
may not like it but you won't hate it
either
you'll start forming that habit of
running every day and it will no longer
be a scary thing in fact it'll just feel
normal to wake up and run days 21 to 30
you'll start enjoying it will no longer
battle with negative thoughts and you'll
realize that this new habit of waking up
and running has been formed follow this
30-day cycle with all of your
resolutions and your chances of giving
up on them will really come down number
3 replace bad habits
according to Epictetus to make anything
a habit do it to not make it a habit do
not do it to unmake a habit do something
else in place of it bad habits are the
habits that interrupt your life and
prevent you from accomplishing your
goals they don't only waste your time
and energy but have a negative effect on
your health both mentally and physically
most of your bad habits are caused by
two things stress and boredom everything
from smoking to overspending on a
shopping spree to drinking every weekend
to wasting time on the Internet can be a
simple response to stress and boredom
according to epictetus sickness grows in
mind but it doesn't have to be that way
in this new year you can teach yourself
new and healthy ways to deal with your
stress and boredom which you can then
substitute in place of your bad habits
it's important to remember that whatever
the habits you have right now whether
good or bad they're in your life for a
reason
in some way these habits must provide a
benefit to you even if they're bad for
you in other ways when you stay in a
relationship that's bad for you a bad
habit like smoking becomes a simple way
to cope with stress because bad habits
provide some type of benefit in your
life
it's very difficult to simply eliminate
them which is why you need to replace a
bad habit with a new habit that provides
a similar benefit the best way to find a
substitute for your bad habit is to have
a plan ahead of time for how you respond
when you face the stress or boredom that
prompts your bad habit for example
chronic breathing exercises whenever you
have an urge to smoke or write one
sentence for work whenever you feel like
procrastinating on social media the idea
is to replace a bad habit with a new
habit that provides a similar benefit if
you simply cut out bad habits without
replacing them then you'll have certain
needs that will be unmet and it's gonna
be hard to stick to a routine for very
long number four don't share your
resolutions with everyone as we learn
from epictetus let's silence be your
goal for the most part say only what is
necessary and be brief about it whenever
we pick our resolution we proudly
proclaim to anyone who'd listen for in
love with sharing our goals our ideas
our new habits with the world however
according to recent research making a
public statement of your goals may not
be such a good idea imagine again that
your resolution is to train for a
marathon you're optimistic and genuinely
serious about making a go of it so you
tell all of your friends and family so
that they can support you what these
studies show is that as soon as we tell
someone we feel an instant sense of
relief as though we'd already
accomplished that goal that we'd set out
to achieve this is what is known as
social reality simply having your goal
acknowledged makes it a part of your
identity and results in a rush of
feel-good reward hormones
unfortunately this satisfaction then
tricks your brain into thinking that the
jobs already done and then you feel less
motivated to actually go out and really
achieve the goal it's like it's already
happened as you go and tell your friends
about running a marathon
your friends will start to think of you
as someone who's run a marathon in that
way you'll achieve the satisfaction of
completing the marathon and it's less
likely that you'll train hard for it
another good reason not to tell people
your goals is that
can then end up judging your actions
which may end up being unhelpful in the
long run tell someone you want to run a
marathon for instance and you can find
that they end up giving you looks every
time you don't train or relax this can
actually remove your determination to
stick to a training regime as nobody
likes being controlled and our natural
tendency is to do the opposite of what
we feel pressured into doing if you wish
to share your resolutions then share
them with an accountability partner your
mentor or anyone who's ready to help you
with your goal but not with everyone
else number 5
give no excuses Epictetus says there
were two vices much blacker and more
serious than the rest lack of
persistence and lack of self-control
persist and resist with every new year
we all gear up and prepare our new
year's resolution list unfortunately
with these new resolutions comes new
excuses when you decide on following a
new diet or on learning a new skill it
all starts off well with lots of
enthusiasm but along the way you start
making rationalizations that revolve
around people or events that are
supposedly keeping us from taking action
towards our goals these rationalizations
are nothing but excuses the reasons we
create to defend our behavior to
postpone taking action or simply as a
means of neglecting responsibilities
some of the most common excuses are I
just can't find the time to do it I
don't know where to start or even it's
too expensive or maybe I'll do it later
these excuses are so common that we
don't even realise when we're using them
as weapons against our goals when you
make excuses or victimize yourself you
relinquish control and absolve yourself
of personal responsibility and without a
sense of ownership meaningful progress
becomes an impossible task to be
persistent think of your resolution like
a rent agreement once you sign that
contract you're required to pay an
amount of money to your landlord and if
you fail you're thrown out there are no
excuses here you're always under
constant pressure to honor the agreement
and you work hard for the money your new
year's resolution is like her rental
agreement that you need to honor without
making excuses number six don't wait for
other people's validation in the words
of Epictetus never depend on the
admiration of others there's no strength
in it personal merit cannot be derived
from an external source it is not to be
found in your personal associations nor
can it be found in the regard of other
people the whole idea of validation is
to get a go-ahead sign from others the
concept of validation is primarily about
getting others to tell you that you're
on the right path unfortunately not
everyone in your life is encouraging
they may either intentionally dissuade
you or not understand your goals and
hence dissuade you from following
through on them often our resolutions
don't fit too well with others simply
because they have different perspectives
on a similar situation let's say for
example that one of your new year's
resolutions is to work on building your
own business but when you go and discuss
it with a friend they might try and put
you off by saying you sure you'll be
able to do it why don't you just stick
with your job but least you'll get a
fixed income first we need to understand
why they're discouraging you from
starting your own business to see
whether they have any genuine
contribution to make or if they're
dissuading you because of their own fear
or lack of confidence if it's lack of
confidence then these people are
naysayers naysayers will say nay or no
as we say nowadays to every single thing
you say they barely ever have meaningful
contributions that actually make sense
but they'll still try to sabotage your
resolutions by giving you their input
anyway another example that we can all
relate to would be our New Year's
resolution to eat more healthily while
most of us try really hard to stick
through this resolution naysayers will
try to get you to break that resolution
by saying just eat a slice of pizza come
on the odd slice now and again won't do
anyone any harm
we all know that the odds slice now in a
game will definitely hurt your
resolutions in the long run the whole
point here is that you need to follow
your resolutions without needing others
to accept them after all they're your
resolutions for a reason according to
stoic philosophy one must not pay
attention to what others think of them
what others think of you or your goals
is not in your control but what is in
your control is your character that is
how you'll reach your goals hence it's
best to focus on what you're doing and
not what other people are saying so
surround yourself with other positive
people and don't wait for others to give
you a thumbs up number 7 reward yourself
as Epictetus put so succinctly I pat
myself on the head reinforcing yourself
and giving yourself rewards is at the
center of making a behavior more regular
when you begin rewarding yourself for
your actions you're reinforcing yourself
to continue doing what you're doing
helping you get closer to your
resolutions goal the best way to keep
yourself motivated is by setting up
milestones and corresponding rewards for
those milestones you could even make the
rewards more and more rewarding with
every major milestone you cross make
sure you keep a list of the rewards
handy so you can keep yourself motivated
throughout the process of following up
on your resolution let's take an example
if your resolution is to save up her bit
of extra money your milestone in this
case could be a successful month of well
planned budgeting once you've achieved
this milestone give yourself a small but
meaningful reward it could be drinking
your favorite wine or eating a box of
your favorite chocolates your rewards
might not be material or a tangible
thing it could be anything but you
really care about the idea is to give
yourself more reasons to follow up on
your resolutions by conferring
attractive rewards on yourself however
you must keep in mind that your rewards
should not hinder your progress for
example don't reward yourself for your
weight loss by binge eating on junk food
as a reward make sure to do your best
and pack in some great
Ward's to get you to reach your goal
number eight review your day to quote
Epictetus never allow sleep to close
your eyelids after you went to bed until
you have examined all your actions of
the day by your reason one of the best
ways to keep track of your progress is
to scrutinize yourself and find your
weak spots be brutally honest and use
this time to connect with your
subconscious practicing evening
retrospection x' on a consistent basis
will allow you to become more self-aware
through every step of your day because
you'll actively be gathering information
to formulate and articulate constructive
answers to these questions what did I do
well today where was my discipline and
self-control tested where did I do good
what did I do bad why did this occur and
furthermore how can I improve the key to
getting your basic steps right is to
keep assessing your actions regularly
making sure they lead you to your new
year's resolution keeping a tab on your
progress not only helps you in staying
more focused but also allows you to
identify probable problems that might be
roadblocks on your path to successfully
fulfilling your resolution number 9
never ever ever give up
according to Epictetus if you are once
defeated and say you will get the
victory another time and then the same
thing over again and then the same thing
over again you can be sure that you will
at last be reduced to so weak and
wretched a condition when we fall short
of what we're expected to do we give up
for example if your resolution is to
lose weight and do skip on exercising
you'll tell yourself you'll be regular
from next Monday and then the next
Monday comes and you'll say I'll be
regular from the first of next month and
then next month you'll end up saying
that you'll start doing it next year but
then it never happens and you give up
you need to understand that even if you
fail once for example if you didn't
exercise when you know you should have
this doesn't define your character
your ability to keep going is what molds
you into a disciplined and strong person
a bad day doesn't have to become a bad
week a bad week doesn't have to become a
bad year but if you give up on the
things that matter most to you you'll
likely establish a pattern of giving up
on anything when things don't go the way
you hoped you won't learn the importance
of persistence and anything worthwhile
requires persistence so never ever give
up the moment you wake up remember that
the new day is a new life and move
forward by opening your eyes and
focusing on what's in front of you which
is your own life itself number 10
always keep evolving in our final piece
of wisdom from epictetus we learn first
say to yourself what you would be and
then do what you have to do the theory
of evolution which we believe is the
fundamental theory of life implies that
everything in the universe is constantly
evolving and hence it's imperfect which
is why there's always room for
improvement with this in mind life must
be ever-changing and ever dynamically a
journey towards improvement if you are
consistent with your approach to your
resolutions there'll be a time when
you'll have your goals achieved at this
point take a break and say I did it even
if that just means going out to a nice
dinner
but as per the stoic philosophy you
shouldn't get carried away with your
success you should always look for ways
to evolve your ambitions you don't have
to wait for the next year to try some
new resolution and gain new experiences
so that you have new things to work
towards life will always provide you
with the opportunity to find a new
purpose and all it takes is going out
there and doing everything that improves
you as a person
we at philosophies for life wish you a
very happy New Year to you and all your
family if you like this video do make
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