Episode 11 Transcripts

Vance 😈
Welcome back to Right Quick.

00:07.80
Nandi K
A bite-sized pop culture conversation with your two favorite queer unfriendly Black hotties.

00:14.00
Vance 😈
We are unfriendly today because of men. Why are they? I am Vance Gowe.

00:21.14
Nandi K
And I'm Nandi K. Marked safe from men today.

00:25.64
Vance 😈
Every day bitch, alright so today's episode we've been we've been talking about this behind the scenes, it's another very special episode ah we are going to be talking about Miss Andry (misandry)

00:40.09
Nandi K
Miss Andry (misandry). That's my girl!

00:43.26
Vance 😈
She she cool people, she funny chuckles she she funny online

00:48.34
Nandi K
Oh, she's very funny online. But you know, Miss Andry, who is Miss Andry?

00:54.56
Vance 😈
Who is it? So yeah we must define misandry because every time I say misandry in casual conversation people be like, “huh”, And I'm just like oh

Nandi
Hmm, concerning
Vance
And yeah and then I say things like oh well you know misogyny, it’s like her cousin but anyway um so according to dictionary.com misandry is a noun that means uh hatred dislike a mistrust of mens

01:20.41
Nandi K
yeah

01:21.45
Vance 😈
Additionally, they did make it a important distinction that it is originally considered the converse of its counterpart misogyny, but that is no longer the case. While misandry has retained its original meaning, misogyny has broadened its meaning to cover an additional sense involving sexism. So Dictionary made the distinction that it is not sexist to be misandrist, and I appreciate that.

01:44.83
Nandi K
It's not. yeah And that's because, and we can talk a little bit about power structures, babeeee, because there is no power structure in which people hating men impacts men's lives at all.

02:01.43
Nandi K
And I think that's sad, but it is the truth.

02:05.56
Vance 😈
you You wish that.

02:07.13
Nandi K
Yeah. I want

02:07.58
Vance 😈
That it would a little.

02:10.39
Nandi K
I want men to pay. I'm not saying that what I feel is healthy. Actually, I'm constantly saying it's very unhealthy. And I also say I'm working on it. um And I'm trying in some ways, but I do still, I'm a work in progress. I want men to pay. Yeah.

02:34.10
Vance 😈
(meekly) Heard

02:34.90
Nandi K
Yeah. Even though I'm an abolitionist, that's kind of where the line is for me right now. But hey, God ain't through with me yet. Amen.

02:43.28
Vance 😈
Amen, ashe, well yeah I think I do think like it is important to say like it's not the same right because it's like I think it's the same as exact thing as like being a Black person is like, “hey, white supremacy is bad.” And you know how to read so you can see all the things that whiteness have done to the world and you don't like them.

03:03.42
Nandi K
Exactly.

03:06.56
Vance 😈
So it's just like your eyes and ears work.

03:09.18
Nandi K
Yeah, I'm just reporting the facts on my experience. And so like when men try to act like misandry, treat misandry like reverse racism, imaginary, right? Also imaginary, because at the end of the day, even though misandry is like quote unquote is a real thing. It's not like a real, it doesn't affect men's material everyday conditions. Their feelings are hurt sometimes.

03:39.28
Vance 😈
Right.

03:39.67
Nandi K
Good! Um, just because a woman said that men are trash online, if you weren't trash, I assume that wouldn't hurt your feelings.

03:50.31
Vance 😈
Right. Right.

03:50.89
Nandi K
That's just my thought.

03:50.97
Vance 😈
And then.

03:52.41
Nandi K
Maybe it hurts your feelings because you're trash. Have you tried, I don't know, not being in trash?

03:59.19
Vance 😈
Often, probably not. Typically not. The ones the ones that are the loudest about it actually are not ah trying to not be trash. But again, it's the same as like when you say fuck, like not fuck white people.

04:11.00
Vance 😈
Well, yeah, fuck white people.

04:11.80
Nandi K
Yeah.

04:11.88
Vance 😈
But you know what I mean? Like fuck whiteness, fuck white supremacy.

04:13.02
Nandi K
Yes.

04:15.56
Vance 😈
And it's like not all whites.

04:15.77
Nandi K
Yes.

04:17.21
Vance 😈
And it like it works the same way.

04:17.62
Nandi K
Okay, well, I don't know y'all. Yeah, I… listen, it's too many of y'all for me to be like, not all of y'all. And I just think if misandry was like a real system that had consequences, it would be like one of the only justified systems. Also, if reverse racism was real, it would also be justified. Like, it's people responding to their experience. White people just came over here and killed us for no reason.

04:50.74
Vance 😈
Enslaved us, Killed us,

04:51.06
Nandi K
Brought us over here, kidnapped us, took us away from our families, stole all our resources.

Vance
Created laws

Nandi K
Yeah, created laws that keep us from doing shit that still fuck with us today.
If I say I hate crackers, nothing happens to them.

05:03.78
Vance 😈
And crackers is a funny quote unquote slur.

05:11.86
Nandi K
It is. It's hilarious.

05:15.45
Vance 😈
When I go to the grocery store and I'm looking for crackers, I literally just say “crackers, crackers, crackers" over and over as I'm walking through. And I do it every time. And I'm like, you know, like, you know, you know, it's not the same thing because they couldn't say niggers, niggers.

05:29.85
Vance 😈
Like they couldn't.

05:30.36
Nandi K
know

Arron: *Niggles*

05:30.61
Vance 😈
Like I'm literally looking for crackers. Like I'm looking for crackers.

05:35.67
Nandi K
I love doing stuff white people can't do. um I also wanted to talk about, you know, since we're talking about like how misandry and a lot of times is people responding to their own experiences with men. And I would say men feel the same way about men. They're afraid of them. We found some statistics about why people might have these feelings. According to the FBI, and this is a 2019 statistic, 80% of violent crimes in the U.S. were committed by men.
That's a lot, y'all.

06:11.20
Vance 😈
It's a lot of violence.

06:12.20
Nandi K
80%. That means only 20% was the show Snapped.

06:22.90
Vance 😈
Shut up.

06:23.70
Nandi K
Is that the 80-20 rule they be talking about?

06:26.04
Vance 😈
That is the 80-20s rule. Snapped. Specifically about Snapped.

06:31.91
Nandi K
Yeah, Snap. As some people, people don't, I don't know if people know this. Snap has been on for a really long time. So just in case some of our like younger listeners may not know about Snapped, Snapped is a docu-series TV show that chronicles the lives of women who have been charged with murder. And most of the time, the woman was experiencing some type of abuse and then killed her abuser.

06:57.75
Vance 😈
abuse

07:01.73
Nandi K
It's now in its 36th season, just in case you're wondering, like, if they don't have more stories to tell.

07:08.76
Vance 😈
That's crazy. is is Is it like a season a year or is it?Cause you know, like survivors and like survivors like in this 40th season, but they do two seasons a year, which is how they got there.

07:14.58
Nandi K
I can't tell. Yeah.

07:20.44
Vance 😈
Cause I'm like 36 is like some people's age that are in this group.

07:25.95
Nandi K
That's true. Snap started in the year 2004. So it's been on 21, 22 years this year.

07:36.38
Vance 😈
Mm-hmm. Yeah, so they must double up a little.

07:37.62
Nandi K
And yeah, they do. Yeah. They definitely do more than one season a year for sure. And each episode is a different person.

07:46.60
Vance 😈
That's crazy.

07:47.98
Nandi K
Yeah, they're in like the almost 700 episodes. So yeah.

07:51.22
Vance 😈
Do you watch Snap?

07:53.91
Nandi K
I haven't in a long time. I actually thought about it for this and then I was like, dang, it's still on?

07:55.61
Vance 😈
Yeah.

07:58.78
Nandi K
oh Wild.

07:59.10
Vance 😈
oh Yeah, that's crazy. I only watch Snap when I'm at a hotel. Like, you know, when they have the...

08:02.78
Nandi K
Yeah, exactly. It's like on the TV. Yeah.

08:05.38
Vance 😈
Yeah, and i'll I'll watch it if I'm just laying around some room where it's on.

08:07.99
Nandi K
yeah and I'd be like, yeah, kill him, girl.

08:08.77
Vance 😈
Right. “Fuck him!”

08:12.94
Nandi K
“He's bad!”, But um' also, ah we can talk a little bit about patriarchy.

08:21.27
Vance 😈
We love patriarchy.

08:22.17
Nandi K
Patriarchy? *church organ sounds* Patriarchy; A system of social relationships, values, norms and behavior patterns that are predominantly shaped by men and which encourage a privileged position for men at the expense of other genders

08:23.64
Vance 😈
Our girl. She's actually... she

08:26.33
Nandi K
Well, she's not my girl. I hate her

Vance
No, I mean, in all seriousness, patriarchy is trash. She harms everybody. I think, um, I think even men suffer at the hands of patriarchy.

08:35.55
Nandi K
Yep.

08:39.56
Vance 😈
Um, you know, men are always crying about like not being able to cry or express their feelings to womens.

08:46.14
Nandi K
And who set that system up

08:48.12
Vance 😈
And it's right. And it's just like, Hey, like you realize this is not good for any of us. Like, it's not good for the people that you date. It's not good for you. It's not good for your breath. Like it's not good for any of us. So like, you know, just maybe divorce yourself from it or, ah divest from it.

09:04.15
Nandi K
And you would think they could. You would think they could, but you know, um I don't know. I, I, oh my God, I can't believe I'm going to say this on a recorded platform, but sometimes I feel sorry for men.

Vance 😈
Huh?

09:23.31
Nandi K
Like if I won't be repeating it, if,

Vance 😈
Oh, I just wanted to hear it again.

09:29.75
Nandi K
If Men are also like, men are also like, if not the biggest victims of the patriarchy, like they're the closest victims to patriarchy. um ah And they can't even be themselves. And also like they're, they bound themselves, right? That's how fucked up patriarchy is, is that you bind up yourself in your maleness and you can't get yourself out like

10:03.29
Vance 😈
Right. Well, it's like, yeah, it's self-producing. It's like, yeah, polices itself. And like, that's why they say fragile masculinity, because it's like if wearing a wearing like a light blue shirt is going to make you less of a man, what does it even mean to be a man?

10:08.95
Nandi K
mm-hmm

10:18.24
Vance 😈
Like, is it important that you that you uphold that? Like, is it because like you don't seem happy.

10:22.10
Nandi K
Well, I can tell you what some things I know about men, the brand, they're awful. They're not nice. They're not self-aware. They stink. They're illiterate. And that's just naming a few things about men, the brand. Like that's just naming a few things. Wouldn't you want to free yourself from those things? Yeah. Do you want people to refer to you as awful, not nice, not self-aware, stank, and illiterate?

10:46.68
Vance 😈
from being stank.

10:53.91
Nandi K
I wouldn't want anyone calling me any of those things. Except my enemy. My enemy should definitely call me awful. Or I'm not doing my job.

11:00.24
Vance 😈
That's fair.

11:01.14
Nandi K
I need to enemy harder.

11:03.33
Vance 😈
That's fair. You being too kind to your ops if they think you're not awful.

11:05.56
Nandi K
Yeah.

11:07.76
Vance 😈
Yeah. Yeah. The men, the men branding is awful. Well, I feel like the branding somehow, because people still want to do it. So it's somehow something about something they like, because like, they still, they still are holding on to it.
So I don't get that part, but.

11:23.48
Nandi K
who want It doesn't seem like they want to do it from my perspective. From my perspective, it seems like a lot of complaining about doing it. And also they're not doing it anyway. So can we talk about that of like, they're like, (man impression) “a man’s gotta, why don't nobody ever raise me up? Why don't nobody get it out the mud with me? I protect and I provide” but you don't. You're going 50-50 on bills. You're not providing shit. So be a fucking partner, you stupid hoe.
You don't know everything. Be a partner. I see a lot of men complaining about being men. They're not doing the things that are also required. These things they're complaining about, they're not doing. They're not meeting the bar. They're mad because those are the standards they set for themselves?

12:18.97
Vance 😈
Because it's unattainable.

12:21.14
Nandi K
Unattainable.

12:21.39
Vance 😈
Yeah, well, but like, I guess that's my vibe where it's just like, if you feel...

12:23.99
Nandi K
Well, it ain't unattainable. It's not unattainable for everyone. Just for them.

12:28.33
Vance 😈
That's true. But I feel like if you if you are able, I think the self-awareness is there, right? Or lacking of it is there. Because if you are able to recognize that you're not doing what you quote unquote are supposed to be doing, but you're still somehow a man, right? Like you're still you're still a man, nothing changed. Then if you can hold both of those things and it's just like, okay, how can I show up and be happy and full and still like be in this thing that I'm in? And it's like, because you can go halfsies and be fine.

12:58.84
Nandi K
You can. And a lot of like, and and I speak to straight people, a lot of straight women will. They work. They have their own money. They don't need you. It's 2026. Like there's people who, and and they act like there's no women doing this when I know good and goddamn well. There are. There's bitches paying Niggas bills. There's niggas driving they baby mama car right now to the studio to record they mixtape.

13:27.54
Vance 😈
The car. “You got the whip.”

13:30.90
Nandi K
And if that's you, what's up? Thanks you for listening. Thank you for listening, if that's you. um

13:36.12
Vance 😈
Love yourself, queen.

13:37.40
Nandi K
But it's like you, why not? I guess my question is why not choose to be different? And I understand like, because patriarchy is a system and that there are like consequences, you lose social currency, quote unquote.

13:55.46
Vance 😈
Yeah, I was going to say there's benefits to holding, identifying, being over there.

13:58.84
Nandi K
Yeah.

14:01.66
Vance 😈
But it's like, is it worth it?

14:03.54
Nandi K
What are the benefits? Yeah.

14:08.14
Vance 😈
Get paid more? I don't know.

14:10.52
Nandi K
But that's going to happen anyway, right?

14:10.95
Vance 😈
um

14:12.60
Nandi K
Like, get paid more than who?

14:12.83
Vance 😈
People like...

14:15.00
Nandi K
Women? That's happening.

14:17.66
Vance 😈
But I don't think they hold it where it's like... I think it's a social currency you just mentioned where it's just like, I think it's important for them to be a man.

14:23.44
Nandi K
Mm-hmm.

14:26.31
Vance 😈
I'm a man or whatever. Right. But it's like, what does that mean? What does that look like? And again, if like all the complaints you have about being a man or like the, you know, the, the, the pressure of having to be a man, like went away, you would probably be happier and it wouldn't make you any less of a, of a man. You’ll just be a more full person. I mean,

14:46.65
Nandi K
Yeah, and I always think too, like being a man's man, like that's the gayest thing you could be, right?

14:47.47
Vance 😈
moff

14:52.21
Nandi K
Like a man's man is gay because you're a man who is for a man.

14:52.52
Vance 😈
It's always gay. It's always gay. It's always gay.

14:57.89
Nandi K
That's gay.

Vance 😈
It's always about muscles, maybe a soup.

14:59.64
Nandi K
Like when I say I'm a girl's girl,

15:05.50
Nandi K
I and I don't really say that, but I will. Yeah.

15:11.46
Vance 😈
We know the girls, girl. growing

15:12.54
Nandi K
I will. um Well, I also, I want men to free themselves from the shackles of patriarchy and toxic and fragile masculinity. I want men to learn how to read so then you can read Bell Hook's The Will to Change. You've read this, right, (Redacted)?

15:33.75
Vance 😈
I have read most of it. Have you read it?

15:37.88
Nandi K
I have, yes.

15:38.85
Vance 😈
Okay, no. So I, I'm probably 70% done with the book. Um, it's fine.

15:46.23
Nandi K
It's fine. I don't like men so I… with bell hooks I always like struggle because but that's a me thing there's something wrong with me. I'm not saying that how I see men is healthy it's not, it's not, it is in response to my experience and I am working on it,

16:05.87
Vance 😈
That's that self-awareness.

Nandi K
I work with two men. I work with two men! like I'm making progress

16:02.57
Vance 😈
That's that.

16:12.95
Nandi K
um But that's one thing I don't like about Bell Hook. She likes men, like, and I'd be like, oh.

16:19.93
Vance 😈
I want, I want for men to be better, like, like healthy and full. Right. um I'm always talking about,

16:25.30
Nandi K
Yeah.

16:28.35
Vance 😈
If you are a man you want to know if you're good or not, just ask like the woman in your life. Or ask the non-men or ask the children. I know the children ain't going to be like, “you ain't shit.”

16:37.47
Nandi K
Mm-hmm.

16:37.54
Vance 😈
I got that. But, but I think a a good litmus is if women and children feel safe around you.
And I feel like a lot of men like either never barely cross that bar. And that's a really low bar. And it's like, I, yeah, I just want these Niggas to be better, like all around. And I don't really know how to go about it because I feel like sometimes you go too hard. Then it's just like they ain't even going to listen to what you're saying, even if you ain't wrong. So it's like, I don't know how to do it. I don't know.

17:07.45
Nandi K
Yeah, I feel I want men to be more free than they are. But there's some like personal like responsibility. Like, no, you can't necessarily as one person change the patriarchy or shift the system of patriarchy. But you can as one person decide that you get to determine what manhood means for you and that you don't have to like conform and like beat up women or hate women or dominate, try to dominate people to be in the world. Like be free. Like white people are so fucked up from the kind of like authoritarian domination that they have they're genetically fucked, we're genetically fucked they're genetically fucked in a different way and it's like I ah specifically think about Black men like Black men do not need like that this layer of like kind of like they're kind of a tool of fascism, right? Like patriarchy is a tool of fascism, a tool of authoritarianism. Like Black men don't need that very complicated layer of trauma of being like a perpetrator of abuse on top of like the victimhood that you like inherit in some ways from being a Black person ah in the world in the US. It's a lot. It compounds. Yeah, sad. Free yourself.

18:50.04
Vance 😈
not this a heavy episode of misandry.

18:51.86
Nandi K
Do butt stuff.

18:52.28
Vance 😈
um But yeah, yeah.

18:55.13
Nandi K
yeah up

18:59.23
Nandi K
Liberation is through your G-spot.

19:03.13
Vance 😈
It can be.

19:03.42
Aaron Rand Freeman
Five minutes. Five minutes.

19:06.58
Vance 😈
Thank you. um But yeah, no, I think, I think I like what you were saying about just like one person is not going to do it, but I do think you got to make the decision. also think if you're, um, Modeling is also something that I like to do myself.

19:21.37
Nandi K
Yeah.

19:22.26
Vance 😈
Like, I'm just like, you could just model different ways of being so that there's, there's just a proof. Like people, people could say, oh yeah, like someone says not like that. And it's not even like, don't even like to hold that I’m not like that. I just try not to be like that, I guess. Cause that's all you can do is try. And if somebody tells you like, hey, you're falling short, you, you do kind of have to look at, look at why that was said and maybe make changes if you feel like that's what you want to do. And that's that's really it. Like, I mean, me and you joke about this all the time. Like, ah good men. Are there any good men?

19:57.91
Nandi K
Yeah, they're not that good, though. They're good in comparison.

20:01.53
Vance 😈
Right. Well, like ah the the saying or the joke that we say often, which is like the best man you knew growing up was trash.

20:02.58
Nandi K
Yeah.Yeah. I think about now, which is kind of wild to think about, like, my dad is probably, like, the best. Y'all are'all actually are better than him, but… Outside of y'all two, my dad is probably the best man I knew. And he puts these modern niggas to shame. And I feel like that's kind of sad. Like, my dad's a boomer. And the fact that my dad is like a more independent, self-reliant, educated man. Mind you, I call him stupid all the time. But he's smarter than these Niggas out here who are my age. And I'm like, that's scary, like he doesn't look at women as like somebody to do labor for him. He damn near don't. He's like, “I don't need you in my house. I'll do it.” He'll do everything on his own. You know, he's kind of like independent to a fault in the way that Boomers are as well.

21:03.64
Vance 😈
Yeah.

21:04.02
Nandi K
But he's never treated women as like… the way that I see men talk about women now.
And I think that's sad. So like my dad can bake, he can sew, he can like he can do anything for himself. And men these days don't come out knowing how to cook or read or nothing.

21:32.71
Vance 😈
Um.

21:33.21
Nandi K
And it's scary out here, (redacted) Vance. My God, I slipped up twice. That was the second one. It's scary. It's because I'm so distraught.

21:43.39
Nandi K
Mm-hmm.

21:45.40
Vance 😈
Yeah, I think, yeah, I think about some of the the men I grew up around and like, yeah, same thing. Like, it's just like, they, they were like my grandpa, probably the best man I know. Like he was like my father figure. And like, you know, when you become an adult, you hear some stuff, you like trash.

22:04.06
Nandi K
Yeah.

22:04.73
Vance 😈
And this it's not even to say the whole person is trash, but that is trash, objectively trash. And it's like, what do you do?

22:10.81
Nandi K
Wild.

22:11.57
Vance 😈
Like, what do you do with that? What do you hold that? And it's like, and again, it's like, it's sad because it's like, that is still one of the best men that I know, or at least that I was around as a kid.

22:19.77
Nandi K
Yeah.

22:21.17
Vance 😈
And it's just like, ooh.

22:22.65
Nandi K
Dang, I actually found out my dad was like better than my mom used to say. my mom kind of lied on him, like for real. That was kind of crazy. My dad actually was better than I thought he was. He's still not...but way better than I thought. um Yeah, you know, niggas, free yourselves. Free yourselves.

22:45.43
Vance 😈
Free your mind. Oh, I thought we were.

22:47.16
Nandi K
Get that G-spot touched. Amen? Let your lady do it.

22:51.61
Vance 😈
Double dabble with that.

22:53.12
Nandi K
It's not gay. If your lady does it, it's not gay.

22:55.12
Vance 😈
Isn't that gay? Isn't that gay ah of a lady?

22:57.10
Nandi K
That's what Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union be doing.

22:57.53
Vance 😈
Did they say that?

23:00.47
Nandi K
Or that's what I hope they be doing. No, I just, that's just what it looks like they be doing to me.

23:01.85
Vance 😈
ah did I was like, did they say it?

23:05.49
Nandi K
That's what kind of energy they have.

23:08.18
Vance 😈
I'll hold that.

23:09.11
Nandi K
I would join.

23:12.02
Nandi K
All right. Well,

23:16.82
Nandi K
I think I want to end this episode by asking a very important question, (Redacted). Do men deserve rights?

23:27.75
Vance 😈
(sighs) I'm going to say yes, but watch it, niggas.

23:33.62
Nandi K
I'm gonna say no I think that they should be allowed rights on a test basis um yeah

23:40.24
Vance 😈
Probationary?

23:41.72
Nandi K
No, you need to take a test and pass it straight up, just like straight up actual test, a physical test.

23:43.90
Vance 😈
Oh, an actual test. Like a permit, like ah like a provisional.

23:48.66
Nandi K
We'll put it in whatever language you need it in Um, yeah. And you can even have it administered verbally.

23:54.17
Vance 😈
a provisional license.

23:56.33
Nandi K
So we're not even going to make it ableist. We got it, we can accommodate any anyway. um and that's what, that's how I think men's rights should be determined. Um,

24:06.41
Vance 😈
I'll take it.

24:07.67
Nandi K
Yeah. All right. Well, I think today's episode is sponsored by The Gay Agenda. We are out here breaking up straight happy homes year after year.

24:20.64
Vance 😈
What is gender?Denounce your gender now.

24:25.43
Nandi K
a big thanks to our producer and audio adonis, Aaron Brand Freeman.

24:30.74
Vance 😈
I have been Vance Gowe. ah You can sometimes find me on Instagram. Just look up Vance Gowe. He may be there. And sometimes on the one, the TikTok, the clock app.

24:41.34
Nandi K
Ah, yes, the clock one.

24:41.46
Vance 😈
Where can we find you?

24:43.42
Nandi K
And I'm Nandi Kay. You can find me on Instagram and Threads and Blue Sky Nandi Kayyy.
See you next time.

Vance
Love, y’all

*Outro music plays*

Aaron
Right Quick is a podcast for They Agenda Productions, created by Nandi Kay and co-hosted by Vance Gowe. Aaron Rand Freeman is our mouthy producer, theme music by Luke Santee, art by Sonja Honeycutt. If you like what you heard, subscribe, rate, review, and follow us on Patreon @theyagendaproductions