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Hey guys.

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Welcome back to another episode

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of, Here Comes The Drama.

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I'm your host, Christa Innis.

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Thanks for being here.

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If it's your first time, welcome, you

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are in for a drama filled episode as

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always, But this week we have two long

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stories because we have our regular

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follower submission at the very end.

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But in the beginning we have a wedding

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dilemma and typically those are shorter

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segments where people just wanna

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get some quick advice for something

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that's going on right now with their

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wedding planning or event planning.

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but this one's a little bit

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longer, but I decided it was a

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good podcast story to take on.

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you guys will see why, but I thought

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it was a good one to discuss on here.

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before we dive into that, our

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new year giveaway has ended.

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So we did a new year giveaway,

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just to give back to you guys.

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I'm excited for what's to come

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this year with the podcast.

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so the names of our four winners have

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been announced on social media and then

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there'll also be in our show notes below.

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So make sure you check down below.

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If you shared the podcast in any way to

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enter, you might be one of the winners.

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Now don't worry if you

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missed the giveaway.

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If you didn't enter or you didn't

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win because we currently have our

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anniversary giveaway going on.

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that was kind of bad planning on my

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part, but maybe it's good planning

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'cause there's extra winners now.

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So one winner will get a $150

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Visa gift card, and two listeners

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will win a $25 Amazon gift card.

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And to enter, just make sure you're

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subscribed to the podcast, subscribe to

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my YouTube channel, and then comment,

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enter on this video, for the episode.

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So if you guys aren't aware, all

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of our podcast episodes are also

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put on YouTube in full video.

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and if you just comment below, enter

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just needs to be in your, comment at some

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point so you can say, Hey, I love the

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color purple, my favorite food spaghetti.

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That bride was crazy.

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And then just put entered at some point.

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winners will be announced on March

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12th, and we will reach out to you

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directly, and kind of let you know

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the next steps to claim your prize.

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And of course, just to cover all my

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bases, I just wanna say the giveaway

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is not affiliated with or sponsored

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by YouTube, apple Podcast, Spotify,

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Amazon, or this is just purely

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outta the kindness of my heart.

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no, but, just a way to

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give back to you guys.

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We've had an amazing year of

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episodes and I just can't believe

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it's already been the first year.

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I'm just blown away by your

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support and your excitement.

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and it just makes my day.

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So thank you guys so much for being here

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with me and listening to the episode.

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today I am drinking coffee

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out of my wicked mug.

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If you guys don't know, if you don't

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follow me on socials or see my stories

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on Instagram, I think I update stories

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a little bit more on Instagram, but

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you'll see me post about my mugs.

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my husband got me this

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for Christmas this year.

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It's so cute.

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If you're watching the video, you

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can see it, but it's like wicked.

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it's alpha on one side and

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Glenda on the other as I splash.

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Coffee in my eye.

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Yeah.

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okay.

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Anyway, if I'm not waking up by

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drinking this coffee, it'll surely

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wake me up by splashing it in my eye.

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Anyway, that was interesting.

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Okay, let's get into the episode.

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We're gonna start with the wedding

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dilemma and the title of it.

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If this doesn't pull you in,

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I don't know what will is.

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Am I being a bridezilla?

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So I thought this was interesting.

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I have not read through the whole thing.

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I did a quick little glance and I

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was like, Ooh, this is a podcast one.

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Let's get into it.

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Okay.

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So this is a long dilemma, like I said.

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So we're gonna dive into

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some different parts of this.

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I am gonna pause at certain parts

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because I feel like if I wait

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completely to the end to respond,

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I'm gonna forget many of my points

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and I'm gonna forget what happens.

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So let's dive into this together.

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All right.

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She says.

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so I need some advice on wedding planning.

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I'm getting married in 2026.

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I have three bridesmaids,

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including my maid of honor.

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My maid of honor is my sister.

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Let's call her Anna Bridesmaid.

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One is Sarah and bridesmaid two is Laura.

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During the bridesmaids dinner, when

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I asked the girls to be in my bridal

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party, they immediately asked about

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dresses and if I'd been looking yet.

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I told them yes and showed them what

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my maid of honor would be wearing.

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I'll attach the photos later.

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They said it was beautiful

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and would look great on Anna.

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Okay, so they liked the

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maid of honor dress.

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Then they asked what their dresses

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would look like, so I showed them an

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option for the bridesmaid dresses.

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Sarah completely freaked out.

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She told me the dress wasn't

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beautiful, that it was ugly, and that

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it would make her look like a nun.

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She said she would feel uncomfortable in

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it and wanted to keep looking, okay, I'm

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gonna pause there before knowing anything.

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I would never react in that way.

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If, the bride came to me and

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said, what's your opinion?

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Do you like this dress?

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I could be like, you know what?

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It's not my favorite.

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That's not my style.

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I don't like blank about the

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dress, but if it was me that said,

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Hey, have you started looking?

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And she showed me a dress and was like,

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here, this is what I'm kind of thinking.

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I'm not gonna be like, ugh I hate it.

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That's disgusting.

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I would look like a nun.

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I'd feel blah, blah, blah.

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And you need to keep looking like.

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When you are agreeing to be a bridesmaid,

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you have to agree to their vision, right?

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Yes.

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We don't want you to be uncomfortable.

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You should wear something that

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makes you feel comfortable.

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you don't want like a super tight dress

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where you can't walk in or you don't want

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something that's gonna show cleavage if

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you don't feel comfortable in that, right?

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it's about what you are comfortable in.

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Yes.

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But ultimately you are agreeing

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to fit the vision for the wedding.

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So there's a little bit

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of push and pull here.

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okay, so she says two days later I

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came up with two more dress options

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and showed them to the bridesmaids.

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So now that you're giving them options,

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now you're kind of agreeing to let them

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give their full opinion when you are a

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bride and you're like, this is the option.

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This is what we're doing.

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They kind have less wiggle room.

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if you're like, I haven't really

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decided yet, so tell me what you like.

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Then you're letting them

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give their opinions.

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Laura said she didn't love any

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of the dresses, but she loved me

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enough to wear them for the day.

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She said it might not be her style, but

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it's ultimately my wedding for the day.

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That is the right response.

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That is the right response.

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' cause let me tell you, I've

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been in tons of weddings.

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some I loved some, I absolutely

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adored and loved some.

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I was like, nah, I don't think there

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were any at the time of wearing

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them that I completely hated.

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Looking back, I'm like,

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whoa, what were we doing?

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But it was probably more the style.

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at the time of wearing them, I

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don't think any of 'em I hated.

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but again, it's what you kind of

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agreed to as being a bridesmaid.

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That being said, and I've talked

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about this before too, I've been

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in some weddings where the bride

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had no clue what she wanted.

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She didn't know the color or the style.

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So we all went blindly to a shop

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together and we kind of chose together.

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was it always peaceful or

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was it always unanimous?

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No, many times it was picking

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favorites or it was whoever's voice

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was the loudest or it was voting.

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Right.

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Those are more tricky because

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you're getting so many opinions.

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And that's my one piece of advice I

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would say to brides is before you talk

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to your bridesmaids, have an idea of

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what you want, the color, the general

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style, maybe a couple places, because

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when you don't have an idea and you

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open it up to all these opinions, then

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it looks like you're picking favorites.

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Right.

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And then you have to be the.

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Mean person and say, no, no, no.

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so that's my advice is before asking,

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say, these are the dresses, right?

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for me, and I've talked about this before,

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so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself,

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but for me, I knew I liked Birdy Grey.

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Again, not sponsored, I've just

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worn them for so many weddings.

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I liked Birdy Grey.

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I liked that you could order them online.

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I liked that it was all

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under a hundred dollars.

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So I said, I like all the mauve versions.

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I don't care if you get light

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mauve, medium mauve, dark mauve,

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there's even a patterned one.

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I was like, any of those are fine.

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Any style dress in the mauve family.

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So I knew this before even

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telling any of my bridesmaids.

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now again, if one of my bridesmaids

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came to me and said, ah, I hate

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the color mauve, I, I don't

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know what I would've done.

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I guess it just depends on the situation.

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it looked great on everyone.

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And generally I think

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everyone liked their dress.

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So it gets tricky when you

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kind of open people up to that.

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Right.

273
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,814
Sarah, however, so this is bridesmaid

274
00:08:22,814 --> 00:08:24,944
one said the dress was absolutely

275
00:08:24,974 --> 00:08:27,228
hideous and that she would not wear it.

276
00:08:27,524 --> 00:08:29,924
She insisted we needed to keep looking.

277
00:08:30,269 --> 00:08:31,704
So now I have a problem with Sarah.

278
00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:32,244
Okay.

279
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:35,525
I get, again, wanting to be comfortable

280
00:08:35,525 --> 00:08:37,992
in a dress, but to go off the deep

281
00:08:37,992 --> 00:08:40,092
end and say the dress is hideous.

282
00:08:40,363 --> 00:08:41,732
We need to keep looking.

283
00:08:42,118 --> 00:08:43,438
It's not your day girlfriend.

284
00:08:43,498 --> 00:08:45,448
Like the bride has an idea.

285
00:08:45,448 --> 00:08:46,438
She's now shown you

286
00:08:46,468 --> 00:08:47,548
three different dresses.

287
00:08:47,863 --> 00:08:49,785
I think you just need to say, like, suck

288
00:08:49,785 --> 00:08:51,960
it up and say you're gonna, do it for her

289
00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:53,400
wedding day because this is supposed to

290
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,570
be like one of her best friends, right.

291
00:08:54,962 --> 00:08:56,819
After that dinner, Sarah called

292
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,252
both Laura and my sister Anna, and

293
00:08:59,252 --> 00:09:01,002
tried to convince them that the

294
00:09:01,002 --> 00:09:04,032
dress I chose wasn't a good option.

295
00:09:04,255 --> 00:09:06,132
She wanted them to join her in

296
00:09:06,132 --> 00:09:08,595
pushing me to keep looking and

297
00:09:08,595 --> 00:09:11,025
convince me to change my mind.

298
00:09:11,332 --> 00:09:14,289
So she realizes the other two are

299
00:09:14,289 --> 00:09:16,659
easier to like get along with.

300
00:09:16,925 --> 00:09:17,889
So she's like, okay, if I can

301
00:09:17,889 --> 00:09:19,779
convince them to tell her,

302
00:09:20,065 --> 00:09:21,912
then she'll change the dress.

303
00:09:22,289 --> 00:09:23,219
Sorry that I keep touching

304
00:09:23,219 --> 00:09:24,329
my hair if anyone's watching.

305
00:09:24,329 --> 00:09:25,589
Someone commented once, like,

306
00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:27,412
can you not touch your hair?

307
00:09:27,412 --> 00:09:29,272
And I'm like, I wish.

308
00:09:29,583 --> 00:09:30,172
I don't even realize

309
00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:31,252
I'm doing it sometimes.

310
00:09:31,252 --> 00:09:31,972
So sorry.

311
00:09:32,362 --> 00:09:34,602
anyway, so I sat the girls

312
00:09:34,602 --> 00:09:36,222
down and asked them what kind

313
00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:37,332
of dress they were hoping for.

314
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,705
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

315
00:09:39,705 --> 00:09:41,865
Now you're giving them full reins.

316
00:09:41,865 --> 00:09:43,425
Now you're giving them full reins.

317
00:09:44,087 --> 00:09:46,635
And maybe this is the type A, I don't

318
00:09:46,635 --> 00:09:48,285
know if I was a Type A bride, I probably

319
00:09:48,285 --> 00:09:50,192
was, I don't know, type A B, I think I was

320
00:09:50,192 --> 00:09:52,246
B. I think I was a type B in some ways.

321
00:09:52,644 --> 00:09:55,164
Now you're opening up all the opinions.

322
00:09:55,164 --> 00:09:57,804
So like, doesn't matter what you say,

323
00:09:57,894 --> 00:09:59,064
they're gonna tell you what they want.

324
00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:00,641
I was asking what kind of dress they

325
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,861
were hoping for because the options I

326
00:10:02,861 --> 00:10:05,334
chose were normal bridesmaid dresses.

327
00:10:05,784 --> 00:10:08,338
Sarah told me she wanted a dress

328
00:10:08,338 --> 00:10:10,288
where she could show more cleavage.

329
00:10:10,540 --> 00:10:13,564
She wanted it short and tight, and if

330
00:10:13,564 --> 00:10:16,264
it was long, she wanted it very tight.

331
00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:16,984
Okay.

332
00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:22,454
I have no issues with a tight dress.

333
00:10:22,738 --> 00:10:23,851
Obviously it's up to the bride.

334
00:10:23,851 --> 00:10:24,121
Right.

335
00:10:24,488 --> 00:10:25,924
But you want it short and tight.

336
00:10:26,218 --> 00:10:27,647
Typically, a bridesmaid dress

337
00:10:27,647 --> 00:10:28,697
is gonna be floor length.

338
00:10:29,094 --> 00:10:30,169
I've worn a lot of jumpsuits

339
00:10:30,169 --> 00:10:31,429
in weddings, floor length.

340
00:10:31,745 --> 00:10:33,995
even as a guest at a wedding, I'm

341
00:10:33,995 --> 00:10:35,855
not wearing a super short dress.

342
00:10:36,059 --> 00:10:36,995
I think maybe a couple

343
00:10:36,995 --> 00:10:38,615
times I have shorter.

344
00:10:38,862 --> 00:10:39,492
it just depends.

345
00:10:39,781 --> 00:10:41,252
Everyone has their own, whatever

346
00:10:41,252 --> 00:10:42,302
they're comfortable in, right?

347
00:10:42,590 --> 00:10:44,319
But to specifically say the bride,

348
00:10:44,319 --> 00:10:46,479
I want a short and tight dress.

349
00:10:46,539 --> 00:10:48,459
I want my cleavage showing.

350
00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:50,079
Do it outta your wedding.

351
00:10:50,493 --> 00:10:52,635
She says, I've tried explaining to her,

352
00:10:52,635 --> 00:10:54,555
my family is very conservative and I'm

353
00:10:54,555 --> 00:10:56,445
trying to choose something that fits the

354
00:10:56,445 --> 00:10:58,649
vibe and is appropriate for the wedding.

355
00:10:58,953 --> 00:10:59,635
And I don't think there's

356
00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:00,835
anything wrong with that.

357
00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:01,765
I don't think there's anything

358
00:11:01,765 --> 00:11:03,055
wrong with a short, tight dress.

359
00:11:03,368 --> 00:11:04,598
again, when you are a bridesmaid

360
00:11:04,598 --> 00:11:06,098
and you are agreeing to be a

361
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,538
bridesmaid in someone else's wedding,

362
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:09,398
you are fitting their vision.

363
00:11:09,571 --> 00:11:10,905
You are fitting what they

364
00:11:10,905 --> 00:11:12,255
want for the wedding, right?

365
00:11:12,576 --> 00:11:13,960
You don't get to just pick a

366
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,700
short and tight dress for the club

367
00:11:15,870 --> 00:11:17,590
because you wanna look hot up there.

368
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:18,933
everyone deserves to

369
00:11:18,933 --> 00:11:20,890
look beautiful and great.

370
00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:22,536
But again, we have to kind

371
00:11:22,536 --> 00:11:24,926
of fit what we agreed.

372
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,576
We agreed to be in someone else's wedding.

373
00:11:26,576 --> 00:11:27,536
It's not your wedding.

374
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:28,740
All right, fast forward to

375
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:30,060
planning the bachelorette party.

376
00:11:30,358 --> 00:11:31,954
we started sending prices in the

377
00:11:31,954 --> 00:11:33,364
group chat to make sure everyone

378
00:11:33,364 --> 00:11:35,075
could afford the trip and the

379
00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:36,725
activities we were discussing.

380
00:11:37,074 --> 00:11:38,872
Everyone agreed the prices were

381
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:40,795
reasonable and we were planning to

382
00:11:40,795 --> 00:11:43,555
have our money in by the deposit date.

383
00:11:43,845 --> 00:11:45,065
I'm guessing for like

384
00:11:45,065 --> 00:11:46,505
an Airbnb or something.

385
00:11:46,849 --> 00:11:49,192
But Sarah waited until two weeks

386
00:11:49,192 --> 00:11:51,252
before the deposit date was due to

387
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:53,142
tell me she wouldn't have her money

388
00:11:53,142 --> 00:11:54,852
until the week before the trip.

389
00:11:55,126 --> 00:11:57,195
She also expected me to cover her

390
00:11:57,195 --> 00:11:59,662
cost, even though I'm the bride.

391
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:02,115
So this is a two part thing.

392
00:12:02,413 --> 00:12:04,442
So she waited to say she didn't have

393
00:12:04,472 --> 00:12:06,002
the money, or she wouldn't have it

394
00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:07,789
until a week before, but then she

395
00:12:07,789 --> 00:12:10,775
expected the bride to cover her cost.

396
00:12:11,153 --> 00:12:12,449
So what does her not having the

397
00:12:12,449 --> 00:12:13,559
money have anything to do with it?

398
00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:14,849
If she thinks this whole time the

399
00:12:14,849 --> 00:12:16,809
bride's gonna cover her cost, that's

400
00:12:16,809 --> 00:12:18,459
where I'm kind of lost and confused.

401
00:12:18,796 --> 00:12:20,042
This is something that has to be

402
00:12:20,042 --> 00:12:22,292
established before all of this.

403
00:12:22,547 --> 00:12:24,172
You need to make it clear.

404
00:12:24,420 --> 00:12:26,282
' cause like I said, pretty much all

405
00:12:26,282 --> 00:12:27,212
the bachelorette parties I've been

406
00:12:27,212 --> 00:12:29,192
a part of, we pay for the bride.

407
00:12:29,448 --> 00:12:31,045
All the girls split it, so we don't

408
00:12:31,045 --> 00:12:32,305
want the bride to have to pay for

409
00:12:32,305 --> 00:12:35,309
her own drinks or all this, but you

410
00:12:35,309 --> 00:12:37,109
gotta talk to your people, right?

411
00:12:37,304 --> 00:12:39,199
If it's just the four of them, that

412
00:12:39,199 --> 00:12:40,669
can be pretty expensive, right?

413
00:12:40,964 --> 00:12:43,352
Whereas if you have 10 girls

414
00:12:43,580 --> 00:12:45,299
and you evenly split it, then

415
00:12:45,299 --> 00:12:46,469
they're all not paying as much.

416
00:12:46,469 --> 00:12:46,769
Right.

417
00:12:47,072 --> 00:12:47,825
so I don't know if there's

418
00:12:47,825 --> 00:12:49,175
other people there as well.

419
00:12:49,430 --> 00:12:51,145
She said when I told her normally

420
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,125
everyone pays for their own way to the

421
00:12:53,125 --> 00:12:55,559
bachelorette party and the bridesmaids

422
00:12:55,559 --> 00:12:57,089
split the cost for the bride.

423
00:12:57,119 --> 00:12:58,469
She flipped out.

424
00:12:58,750 --> 00:13:00,595
Why is the bridesmaid just

425
00:13:00,595 --> 00:13:01,915
finding out about this?

426
00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:03,009
Because if she's never been in

427
00:13:03,009 --> 00:13:04,239
a wedding before, I can't really

428
00:13:04,239 --> 00:13:05,559
blame her for not knowing.

429
00:13:05,870 --> 00:13:07,199
And again, this is gonna differ

430
00:13:07,199 --> 00:13:08,549
for different friend groups.

431
00:13:08,752 --> 00:13:11,152
For where you're located country-wise,

432
00:13:11,152 --> 00:13:13,365
where in US or otherwise?

433
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:14,212
it's different.

434
00:13:14,535 --> 00:13:16,085
My friend group, like when we even

435
00:13:16,085 --> 00:13:17,495
go out for a birthday dinner, we're

436
00:13:17,495 --> 00:13:18,605
not letting the birthday person

437
00:13:18,605 --> 00:13:20,345
pay birthday person birthday girl.

438
00:13:20,557 --> 00:13:21,432
We are splitting it.

439
00:13:21,723 --> 00:13:23,209
The three friends that came,

440
00:13:23,209 --> 00:13:24,409
we're gonna split their meal.

441
00:13:24,736 --> 00:13:26,375
That's just how our friend group is.

442
00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:28,349
We do a bachelorette party trip.

443
00:13:28,655 --> 00:13:29,825
I've been on bachelorette party

444
00:13:29,825 --> 00:13:31,852
trips where there's five girls.

445
00:13:32,124 --> 00:13:33,062
I've been on bachelorette

446
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:35,535
parties where there's 30 girls.

447
00:13:36,652 --> 00:13:37,522
get into that another time.

448
00:13:37,855 --> 00:13:38,845
30 women I should say.

449
00:13:39,206 --> 00:13:42,075
And that was probably my first, no,

450
00:13:42,075 --> 00:13:43,695
that's why my second bachelorette party

451
00:13:44,014 --> 00:13:45,422
and I planned the whole thing with two

452
00:13:45,422 --> 00:13:46,652
other people and that was probably the

453
00:13:46,652 --> 00:13:48,002
most stressful thing I ever planned.

454
00:13:48,335 --> 00:13:50,669
but anyway, when you do that,

455
00:13:50,849 --> 00:13:52,109
when you have different amounts

456
00:13:52,109 --> 00:13:54,462
of people, it's going to differ.

457
00:13:54,462 --> 00:13:55,452
But anyway, you need to let

458
00:13:55,452 --> 00:13:57,379
people know all of those.

459
00:13:57,553 --> 00:13:59,025
We always paid for the bride.

460
00:13:59,145 --> 00:13:59,985
We split it all.

461
00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:01,095
We did not want the bride paying

462
00:14:01,095 --> 00:14:02,745
for drinks, how to get there.

463
00:14:03,015 --> 00:14:03,435
any of that.

464
00:14:03,435 --> 00:14:05,382
My own bachelorette party, I think I

465
00:14:05,382 --> 00:14:07,122
was able to sneak in one round of drinks

466
00:14:07,122 --> 00:14:08,992
for my friends, but other than that,

467
00:14:09,022 --> 00:14:10,462
they took care of everything for me.

468
00:14:10,852 --> 00:14:13,029
That again, you should never, as

469
00:14:13,029 --> 00:14:15,489
the bride, you should never assume

470
00:14:15,727 --> 00:14:16,905
that they're going to pay for you,

471
00:14:17,338 --> 00:14:19,312
especially if you're flying somewhere.

472
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:20,062
Like you need to know

473
00:14:20,062 --> 00:14:21,142
your friend's budgets.

474
00:14:21,392 --> 00:14:22,412
when I went on these more

475
00:14:22,412 --> 00:14:23,672
expensive bachelorette party

476
00:14:23,672 --> 00:14:25,692
trips, I was already like, mm,

477
00:14:25,722 --> 00:14:27,102
somewhere late twenties, somewhere.

478
00:14:27,102 --> 00:14:28,302
Early thirties.

479
00:14:28,332 --> 00:14:28,632
Yeah.

480
00:14:28,932 --> 00:14:30,065
Late twenties, early thirties were

481
00:14:30,065 --> 00:14:32,069
the more expensive ones where I

482
00:14:32,069 --> 00:14:33,509
could afford a little bit more.

483
00:14:33,509 --> 00:14:33,869
Right.

484
00:14:34,115 --> 00:14:35,295
if I were in my early twenties,

485
00:14:35,295 --> 00:14:36,075
I don't think I'd be able to

486
00:14:36,075 --> 00:14:37,268
afford these longer trips.

487
00:14:37,535 --> 00:14:40,238
So you really have to know your audience.

488
00:14:40,238 --> 00:14:41,498
You have to know if they can afford

489
00:14:41,498 --> 00:14:42,995
it, and we can't get mad at people

490
00:14:42,995 --> 00:14:44,015
when they say they can't afford it.

491
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:45,885
She said she wouldn't be able to afford it

492
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,505
and that my wedding was costing her around

493
00:14:47,505 --> 00:14:49,425
a thousand dollars, which wasn't fair.

494
00:14:49,728 --> 00:14:51,168
Full stop before I keep going

495
00:14:51,168 --> 00:14:52,098
and I know some people don't

496
00:14:52,098 --> 00:14:53,358
like when I keep stopping, but

497
00:14:53,358 --> 00:14:54,678
there's a lot to say about this.

498
00:14:54,980 --> 00:14:56,395
That's a lot of money to a lot of people.

499
00:14:56,724 --> 00:14:58,151
A thousand dollars to put

500
00:14:58,151 --> 00:14:59,291
into a wedding is a lot.

501
00:14:59,597 --> 00:15:01,188
And she is now communicating

502
00:15:01,188 --> 00:15:03,095
to you, I can't afford this.

503
00:15:03,422 --> 00:15:05,737
So it's our job at that point as

504
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:07,057
the bride to say, do we need to

505
00:15:07,057 --> 00:15:08,587
tone back the bachelorette party?

506
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,647
Can I help cover some of her?

507
00:15:10,982 --> 00:15:11,822
I don't think it's completely

508
00:15:11,822 --> 00:15:13,135
like black and white.

509
00:15:13,315 --> 00:15:15,265
I don't think it's like, well, she's a

510
00:15:15,265 --> 00:15:16,765
bridesmaid so she has to pay her way.

511
00:15:17,052 --> 00:15:17,995
I've talked about this before.

512
00:15:17,995 --> 00:15:19,315
When I was a bridesmaid, I had a

513
00:15:19,315 --> 00:15:20,995
couple bridesmaids reach out to

514
00:15:20,995 --> 00:15:21,955
me, or it was a maid of honor.

515
00:15:22,163 --> 00:15:23,895
I had a couple bridesmaids reach out to me

516
00:15:23,895 --> 00:15:25,545
and say, I don't think I can afford this.

517
00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:27,688
and it was a local one 'cause they

518
00:15:27,688 --> 00:15:28,768
had other bachelorette parties,

519
00:15:28,768 --> 00:15:29,968
they had other vacations planned

520
00:15:30,298 --> 00:15:31,972
and I said, what can you afford?

521
00:15:31,972 --> 00:15:32,962
I'll cover the rest.

522
00:15:33,252 --> 00:15:34,742
I said, maybe don't

523
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:35,912
come one of the nights.

524
00:15:36,246 --> 00:15:37,266
let me see what discount

525
00:15:37,266 --> 00:15:38,226
I can get at the hotel.

526
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:40,006
So I tried as the maid of

527
00:15:40,006 --> 00:15:41,206
honor to do other things.

528
00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:43,241
Okay, so she says, what I wanna

529
00:15:43,241 --> 00:15:45,401
point out is that I, the bride have

530
00:15:45,401 --> 00:15:46,931
already purchased a lot for them,

531
00:15:47,148 --> 00:15:49,284
including their wedding shoes, their

532
00:15:49,284 --> 00:15:51,628
jewelry, the pajamas we get ready in.

533
00:15:51,883 --> 00:15:52,955
All the bachelorette party

534
00:15:52,955 --> 00:15:54,665
favors, all the decorations.

535
00:15:54,989 --> 00:15:55,205
Okay?

536
00:15:55,671 --> 00:15:57,854
This is where I'm gonna get, like think

537
00:15:58,174 --> 00:16:00,256
I am a against the bride in this, You

538
00:16:00,256 --> 00:16:02,506
purchasing bachelorette party decorations

539
00:16:02,536 --> 00:16:04,873
and favors is not their problem.

540
00:16:05,179 --> 00:16:07,153
That is a gift, Pajamas for them to

541
00:16:07,153 --> 00:16:09,043
get ready in is not their problem.

542
00:16:09,133 --> 00:16:10,393
That is also a gift.

543
00:16:10,693 --> 00:16:13,686
I got gifts for my bridesmaids.

544
00:16:13,956 --> 00:16:15,796
I would never be like, I did this

545
00:16:15,796 --> 00:16:18,143
for you, so you owe me, you can

546
00:16:18,143 --> 00:16:19,523
spend more money at my bachelorette

547
00:16:19,523 --> 00:16:20,813
party because I did this for you.

548
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,743
No, those were gifts.

549
00:16:22,055 --> 00:16:23,633
You don't need matching pajamas.

550
00:16:23,820 --> 00:16:25,570
You don't need bachelorette party

551
00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:27,710
favors and you don't need decorations.

552
00:16:27,985 --> 00:16:28,516
Are they great?

553
00:16:28,546 --> 00:16:29,026
Are they nice?

554
00:16:29,026 --> 00:16:29,386
Yes.

555
00:16:29,386 --> 00:16:30,226
Did I have 'em at mine?

556
00:16:30,316 --> 00:16:30,736
Yes.

557
00:16:30,919 --> 00:16:31,966
Did I have them at most of the

558
00:16:31,966 --> 00:16:33,226
perpetual art parties I went to?

559
00:16:33,316 --> 00:16:34,486
Yes, absolutely.

560
00:16:34,845 --> 00:16:37,100
But it's not the bridesmaids

561
00:16:37,425 --> 00:16:39,053
problem if you spent more Right?

562
00:16:39,441 --> 00:16:41,546
That does not take away from the fact that

563
00:16:41,546 --> 00:16:44,006
she is still spending around a thousand

564
00:16:44,006 --> 00:16:45,753
dollars to be a a part of your wedding.

565
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,158
I absolutely don't think you

566
00:16:48,158 --> 00:16:49,148
are the bridezilla, when it

567
00:16:49,148 --> 00:16:50,198
comes to the dress situation.

568
00:16:50,198 --> 00:16:52,812
So far what I've read, but this

569
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,032
part, if she's coming to you and

570
00:16:55,032 --> 00:16:57,355
saying, I can't afford it, she

571
00:16:57,355 --> 00:16:59,035
have waited until two weeks before?

572
00:16:59,035 --> 00:16:59,785
Of course not.

573
00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:00,698
But it seems like there's

574
00:17:00,698 --> 00:17:02,038
some communication issue

575
00:17:02,038 --> 00:17:03,118
between the two of you guys.

576
00:17:03,281 --> 00:17:04,654
She didn't realize that she was

577
00:17:04,654 --> 00:17:07,178
expected to cover her way, and also

578
00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:09,028
that you were expecting all the

579
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,618
bridesmaids to chip in and pay for her.

580
00:17:10,912 --> 00:17:12,351
So this needs to be established.

581
00:17:12,716 --> 00:17:14,606
She said, I'm also basically planning

582
00:17:14,606 --> 00:17:16,046
my own bachelorette party because

583
00:17:16,046 --> 00:17:18,029
my maid of honor lives in Miami and

584
00:17:18,029 --> 00:17:19,619
won't be there for the first night.

585
00:17:19,887 --> 00:17:22,469
During all of this, Sarah and Laura

586
00:17:22,469 --> 00:17:24,419
also texted in the bachelorette group

587
00:17:24,539 --> 00:17:27,066
chat that they wanted to go skydiving,

588
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:30,913
which would be $359 per person.

589
00:17:31,883 --> 00:17:32,243
Okay.

590
00:17:32,243 --> 00:17:33,593
I might have to take back some of what

591
00:17:33,593 --> 00:17:35,706
I said, but at the same time, they

592
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,056
didn't have enough money to pay for

593
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:38,826
the trip deposit on time, so now wait.

594
00:17:39,066 --> 00:17:40,776
So they both didn't have enough money,

595
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,489
and they said they couldn't even put

596
00:17:42,489 --> 00:17:45,179
aside $10 for one of my meals because

597
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,009
the stress is becoming so overwhelming.

598
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,826
I eventually stopped bringing up the

599
00:17:48,826 --> 00:17:50,939
bachelorette party bridesmaids dresses

600
00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,589
and other wedding related details.

601
00:17:52,868 --> 00:17:54,139
Here's the thing, if I was hearing

602
00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:55,699
from multiple people in my wedding

603
00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,003
party, they couldn't afford the

604
00:17:57,003 --> 00:17:58,793
deposit or they couldn't afford

605
00:17:58,793 --> 00:17:59,923
certain things, I would tone it back.

606
00:18:00,678 --> 00:18:02,018
I don't know if they're flying anywhere.

607
00:18:02,018 --> 00:18:03,398
I don't know if they're renting a house,

608
00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:05,008
but it sounds like, okay, maid of honor

609
00:18:05,008 --> 00:18:06,508
can't make it there the first night.

610
00:18:06,789 --> 00:18:09,028
Maybe we just take out the first night.

611
00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:10,828
Maybe we make it two nights instead

612
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:11,968
of three or whatever they're doing.

613
00:18:11,968 --> 00:18:12,268
Right.

614
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,469
Maybe we take out something, let's work

615
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:17,809
together to see how we can make it work.

616
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:20,199
I am typically, the bride is not

617
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:22,203
involved in planning, but it sounds

618
00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:23,463
like, I'm not hearing any of their

619
00:18:23,463 --> 00:18:24,543
names or any of their bridesmaids.

620
00:18:24,543 --> 00:18:25,323
So it sounds like it's

621
00:18:25,323 --> 00:18:26,313
just the four of them.

622
00:18:26,552 --> 00:18:28,116
So I get why she's very involved.

623
00:18:28,449 --> 00:18:30,609
but there's again, a lot of communication.

624
00:18:31,995 --> 00:18:32,550
it's hard.

625
00:18:32,550 --> 00:18:35,287
it's like we have to remember when

626
00:18:35,287 --> 00:18:36,727
people are going to our bachelorette,

627
00:18:36,727 --> 00:18:38,707
they're also taking off vacation days.

628
00:18:38,707 --> 00:18:39,487
They're taking time away

629
00:18:39,487 --> 00:18:40,357
from their families.

630
00:18:40,357 --> 00:18:43,140
They're spending money away, so they also

631
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:44,550
are gonna wanna do things they enjoy.

632
00:18:44,836 --> 00:18:45,997
This is where I think.

633
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,077
Bridesmaids plan away from the

634
00:18:48,077 --> 00:18:49,803
bride and then they surprise you.

635
00:18:50,149 --> 00:18:51,753
But we also need to, work

636
00:18:51,753 --> 00:18:52,593
together on the budget.

637
00:18:52,929 --> 00:18:54,590
Okay, guys, this is still going.

638
00:18:54,643 --> 00:18:55,273
there's a lot.

639
00:18:55,323 --> 00:18:56,163
There's a lot going on.

640
00:18:56,163 --> 00:18:58,027
So I'm saying like this is the longest

641
00:18:58,027 --> 00:18:59,797
dilemma, but I feel like it was one

642
00:18:59,797 --> 00:19:01,297
that really needed to be discussed.

643
00:19:01,617 --> 00:19:01,987
Okay.

644
00:19:02,223 --> 00:19:04,213
Later hair and makeup came up.

645
00:19:04,446 --> 00:19:06,073
The bridesmaids asked if I was

646
00:19:06,073 --> 00:19:07,423
going to pay for them to get

647
00:19:07,423 --> 00:19:08,713
their hair and makeup done.

648
00:19:08,983 --> 00:19:10,093
I told them no.

649
00:19:10,388 --> 00:19:11,703
If they would like to hire the

650
00:19:11,703 --> 00:19:13,467
makeup artist, they are welcome

651
00:19:13,467 --> 00:19:15,207
to pay for it themselves, but

652
00:19:15,267 --> 00:19:17,307
I won't be paying for everyone.

653
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,437
I told them I want the bridesmaids

654
00:19:19,437 --> 00:19:21,207
to have minimal makeup and curled

655
00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:23,773
hair while I, the bride will have

656
00:19:23,773 --> 00:19:25,693
more extravagant makeup and hair.

657
00:19:26,042 --> 00:19:27,490
When I explained this to Sarah,

658
00:19:27,490 --> 00:19:29,020
she told me she wanted to do her

659
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:31,240
own hair however she wanted, and

660
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,980
wear her makeup however she wanted.

661
00:19:33,272 --> 00:19:34,043
I understand.

662
00:19:34,043 --> 00:19:35,840
Wanting to feel comfortable and I'm.

663
00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:37,683
Really not trying to be selfish, but

664
00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:38,733
at the same time, it's my wedding.

665
00:19:38,883 --> 00:19:39,093
All right?

666
00:19:39,153 --> 00:19:40,383
I need a sip of coffee for this one.

667
00:19:40,726 --> 00:19:41,833
I'm not gonna lie in reading this

668
00:19:41,833 --> 00:19:43,753
alone, I kept moving side to side of

669
00:19:43,753 --> 00:19:45,927
like whose side or whose team I was on.

670
00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:46,257
Okay?

671
00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:48,683
First and foremost, if you are not

672
00:19:48,683 --> 00:19:51,443
requiring hair and makeup to be done, you

673
00:19:51,443 --> 00:19:52,673
do not have to pay for it as the bride.

674
00:19:52,673 --> 00:19:54,473
this is my own personal take.

675
00:19:54,825 --> 00:19:55,927
You do not need to pay for it.

676
00:19:56,226 --> 00:19:57,577
If you are saying everyone needs

677
00:19:57,577 --> 00:19:58,627
their hair and makeup done,

678
00:19:58,919 --> 00:19:59,933
you should be paying for it.

679
00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:02,607
I recommend brides, even if they're

680
00:20:02,607 --> 00:20:03,807
not gonna be paying for everyone

681
00:20:03,807 --> 00:20:04,887
to get their hair and makeup done.

682
00:20:05,150 --> 00:20:06,740
Reach out to all your brides and

683
00:20:06,971 --> 00:20:08,967
bridesmaids and groomsmen, whoever would

684
00:20:08,967 --> 00:20:10,843
want hair and makeup, whatever parents.

685
00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:12,087
See who all wants it.

686
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:12,477
Done.

687
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,300
If you have a good chunk of people

688
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:15,860
that want it done, you should hire

689
00:20:15,860 --> 00:20:17,690
a makeup artist and a hair person.

690
00:20:17,937 --> 00:20:19,053
That's not saying you're paying

691
00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:20,043
for it, but that's saying you

692
00:20:20,043 --> 00:20:21,633
have someone there on site.

693
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:24,075
if you're not requiring it and no one

694
00:20:24,075 --> 00:20:26,051
wants to pay for it, then they should be

695
00:20:26,051 --> 00:20:28,645
able to do it themselves how they want to.

696
00:20:29,011 --> 00:20:31,705
if you are telling them a certain

697
00:20:31,705 --> 00:20:33,775
way to do their hair and their

698
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:36,181
makeup, you should be paying for it.

699
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:37,001
I don't know.

700
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:37,991
Is that a hot take?

701
00:20:38,282 --> 00:20:40,528
Because now you're telling them that

702
00:20:40,528 --> 00:20:43,348
they have to either tone it down or

703
00:20:43,348 --> 00:20:45,088
tone it up from what they normally do.

704
00:20:45,436 --> 00:20:46,528
Maybe they don't know how to curl

705
00:20:46,528 --> 00:20:48,088
their hair, so they need someone hired.

706
00:20:48,365 --> 00:20:49,178
So you're telling them You

707
00:20:49,178 --> 00:20:50,558
want it a specific way.

708
00:20:50,812 --> 00:20:53,208
So I think in that case in point,

709
00:20:53,298 --> 00:20:54,468
you should probably pay for it.

710
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,088
Sarah is saying, I'm willing to do

711
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,408
my hair and makeup, but I wanna do

712
00:20:57,408 --> 00:20:58,608
it how I'm comfortable doing it.

713
00:20:58,901 --> 00:21:00,951
I'm sorry, I'm with Sarah in this moment.

714
00:21:01,210 --> 00:21:03,031
If I'm a part of a wedding and

715
00:21:03,031 --> 00:21:04,751
I'm being told, Hey, you have to

716
00:21:04,751 --> 00:21:06,521
do your hair this way and your

717
00:21:06,521 --> 00:21:09,075
makeup this way, I'll try my best.

718
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:09,585
Sure.

719
00:21:09,585 --> 00:21:10,755
I'm not gonna be like rude about

720
00:21:10,755 --> 00:21:12,802
it, but, everyone has their own like

721
00:21:13,078 --> 00:21:14,439
talents and how they're comfortable

722
00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:16,319
with doing hair and makeup, so I kind

723
00:21:16,319 --> 00:21:17,549
of go back and forth on this one.

724
00:21:17,549 --> 00:21:18,389
I don't think you're being a

725
00:21:18,389 --> 00:21:20,252
bridezilla of course, but I don't

726
00:21:20,252 --> 00:21:21,632
think we can control too much about

727
00:21:21,632 --> 00:21:23,222
how people do their hair and makeup.

728
00:21:23,527 --> 00:21:24,215
You can say like, oh, I don't

729
00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:25,385
want bright red lipstick.

730
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:25,985
Sure.

731
00:21:26,295 --> 00:21:27,999
but to say minimal makeup.

732
00:21:28,329 --> 00:21:30,159
Then you get extravagant.

733
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:31,565
it's kinda lost on me.

734
00:21:31,802 --> 00:21:32,995
' cause I think you should want your

735
00:21:32,995 --> 00:21:35,845
bridesmaid to look just as beautiful.

736
00:21:36,126 --> 00:21:38,088
Have them do full glam if they want,

737
00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:39,828
have them do their hair how they want.

738
00:21:40,183 --> 00:21:42,161
It's not like she's, I mean, maybe she is,

739
00:21:42,161 --> 00:21:44,288
but it's not like she's trying to like do

740
00:21:44,288 --> 00:21:46,808
space buns with like, glitter all over it.

741
00:21:46,808 --> 00:21:48,458
I mean, I'm sure, hopefully

742
00:21:48,458 --> 00:21:50,511
not, but unless that's her vibe.

743
00:21:50,808 --> 00:21:53,685
so I get having some, hey, like, I

744
00:21:53,685 --> 00:21:55,275
really want everyone to do an updo.

745
00:21:55,672 --> 00:21:56,095
Sure.

746
00:21:56,125 --> 00:21:57,565
I really want everyone to do loose curls.

747
00:21:57,595 --> 00:21:58,435
Okay, sure.

748
00:21:58,738 --> 00:22:00,441
But when you get too specific about

749
00:22:00,441 --> 00:22:02,241
what everyone should look like,

750
00:22:02,271 --> 00:22:04,431
that's when I gets kind of lost on me.

751
00:22:04,778 --> 00:22:05,048
Okay.

752
00:22:05,408 --> 00:22:06,038
Next one.

753
00:22:06,278 --> 00:22:08,381
This is the last little issue.

754
00:22:08,675 --> 00:22:10,368
About a week later, the dress

755
00:22:10,368 --> 00:22:12,318
conversation came back up again.

756
00:22:12,651 --> 00:22:14,938
Sarah told me her budget for the dress

757
00:22:15,223 --> 00:22:17,988
and her daughter's dress is $200 total.

758
00:22:18,568 --> 00:22:19,828
I guess her daughter's in the

759
00:22:19,828 --> 00:22:21,958
wedding or coming to the wedding.

760
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:22,918
This is the first I'm

761
00:22:22,918 --> 00:22:23,608
hearing of the daughter.

762
00:22:23,913 --> 00:22:26,111
Her daughter's dress is $35,

763
00:22:26,335 --> 00:22:27,898
meaning the remaining budget for

764
00:22:27,898 --> 00:22:30,318
her own dress would be around 165.

765
00:22:30,669 --> 00:22:33,748
The dress I found for her is $90.

766
00:22:33,975 --> 00:22:36,395
She told me it was too expensive, so I

767
00:22:36,395 --> 00:22:38,988
showed her another option for 65, but

768
00:22:38,988 --> 00:22:41,778
she said there was quote, no way in hell

769
00:22:42,001 --> 00:22:43,925
she would wear that dress to my wedding

770
00:22:44,248 --> 00:22:45,855
because it would make her uncomfortable.

771
00:22:45,885 --> 00:22:47,265
So I'm guessing that was the first one.

772
00:22:47,555 --> 00:22:49,198
Sarah has been my best friend

773
00:22:49,198 --> 00:22:51,643
for seven years, but at this

774
00:22:51,643 --> 00:22:53,338
point I don't know what to do.

775
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,181
Wouldn't a best friend be willing

776
00:22:55,181 --> 00:22:57,538
to wear a dress for six hours for my

777
00:22:57,538 --> 00:22:59,635
wedding, even if it's not their favorite

778
00:22:59,635 --> 00:23:02,614
style Or am I being extra and selfish?

779
00:23:03,017 --> 00:23:05,017
Also, am I being selfish about

780
00:23:05,017 --> 00:23:06,727
the hair and makeup expectations?

781
00:23:07,005 --> 00:23:08,727
Is that me being too controlling?

782
00:23:09,071 --> 00:23:10,128
it's not that I'm worried she's

783
00:23:10,128 --> 00:23:11,701
going to take the spotlight, but

784
00:23:11,701 --> 00:23:13,231
Sarah likes being the center of

785
00:23:13,231 --> 00:23:15,711
attention and the day isn't about her.

786
00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:17,151
Do I sound selfish?

787
00:23:17,428 --> 00:23:19,011
Am I being a bridezilla?

788
00:23:19,336 --> 00:23:19,618
All right.

789
00:23:19,618 --> 00:23:20,818
So obviously I've shared my

790
00:23:21,101 --> 00:23:23,121
points throughout this, but let

791
00:23:23,121 --> 00:23:24,411
me do the dress budget thing.

792
00:23:24,708 --> 00:23:26,994
this is gonna depend if Sarah's daughter

793
00:23:26,994 --> 00:23:29,300
is in the wedding as the bride, I would

794
00:23:29,300 --> 00:23:31,250
be paying for the daughter's dress.

795
00:23:31,557 --> 00:23:33,704
We paid for any of the kids that were

796
00:23:33,704 --> 00:23:34,964
in our wedding, we paid for them.

797
00:23:35,254 --> 00:23:37,490
if not, I mean, you can say your

798
00:23:37,490 --> 00:23:39,590
budget is a certain amount, but

799
00:23:39,690 --> 00:23:41,187
if like you wanna stick a little

800
00:23:41,187 --> 00:23:42,777
bit lower, that's her own choice.

801
00:23:42,777 --> 00:23:43,137
Right.

802
00:23:43,420 --> 00:23:43,764
Okay.

803
00:23:43,974 --> 00:23:45,594
So let me ask, answer your questions.

804
00:23:45,814 --> 00:23:47,357
Wouldn't a best friend be willing to wear

805
00:23:47,357 --> 00:23:49,007
a dress for six hours for my wedding,

806
00:23:49,037 --> 00:23:50,387
even if it's not their favorite style?

807
00:23:50,507 --> 00:23:51,527
Yes, absolutely.

808
00:23:51,754 --> 00:23:52,817
You are not being extra

809
00:23:52,817 --> 00:23:53,837
or selfish about that.

810
00:23:54,074 --> 00:23:54,874
I think you need to tell 'em

811
00:23:54,874 --> 00:23:56,694
straight up, this is the dress

812
00:23:56,754 --> 00:23:58,700
I chose, wear it or don't.

813
00:24:00,928 --> 00:24:01,312
I don't know.

814
00:24:01,568 --> 00:24:03,298
I would wear it for my best friends.

815
00:24:03,575 --> 00:24:04,595
They could tell me to put on a

816
00:24:04,595 --> 00:24:05,825
brown paper bag and I would wear

817
00:24:05,825 --> 00:24:07,445
it, because it's their day, right?

818
00:24:07,748 --> 00:24:08,355
So, I don't know.

819
00:24:08,355 --> 00:24:09,615
I do not think you're being extra

820
00:24:09,615 --> 00:24:11,175
selfish or bridezilla for that.

821
00:24:11,515 --> 00:24:12,788
Am I being selfish about the

822
00:24:12,788 --> 00:24:14,468
hair and makeup expectations?

823
00:24:14,562 --> 00:24:15,908
Is that me being too controlling?

824
00:24:16,132 --> 00:24:17,282
I would say yes a little bit.

825
00:24:17,282 --> 00:24:18,122
I think you are being a little

826
00:24:18,122 --> 00:24:19,112
too controlling about that.

827
00:24:19,112 --> 00:24:21,385
Like I said, if you are hiring a makeup

828
00:24:21,385 --> 00:24:24,245
artist and paying for it, then you can

829
00:24:24,245 --> 00:24:26,135
control how the hair and makeup is done.

830
00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,595
If you are hiring a makeup artist and they

831
00:24:28,595 --> 00:24:31,098
are paying for it, or they are doing it

832
00:24:31,098 --> 00:24:33,328
themselves, you gotta just let them do it.

833
00:24:33,598 --> 00:24:35,145
That is my own personal opinion.

834
00:24:35,145 --> 00:24:36,052
someone else may have a different

835
00:24:36,052 --> 00:24:37,838
one, but I think you've gotta let

836
00:24:37,838 --> 00:24:39,578
them do what they're gonna do.

837
00:24:39,638 --> 00:24:40,538
You can again, give

838
00:24:40,538 --> 00:24:42,252
guidelines, but that's it.

839
00:24:42,592 --> 00:24:43,775
she says, it's not that I'm worried

840
00:24:43,775 --> 00:24:45,275
she's gonna take the spotlight, but Sarah

841
00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:46,355
lives being the center of attention.

842
00:24:46,688 --> 00:24:48,552
Here is my problem about that statement.

843
00:24:48,865 --> 00:24:50,832
You already see an issue here.

844
00:24:51,102 --> 00:24:53,352
Why are we worried our friend is

845
00:24:53,352 --> 00:24:55,572
going to take attention away from us?

846
00:24:55,825 --> 00:24:58,362
It says, I'm not worried, but she

847
00:24:58,362 --> 00:25:00,222
likes being the center of attention.

848
00:25:00,916 --> 00:25:03,196
No matter how she gets her hair

849
00:25:03,196 --> 00:25:05,030
and makeup done, she will not

850
00:25:05,030 --> 00:25:06,350
be the center of attention.

851
00:25:06,636 --> 00:25:08,113
And that's not gonna add to it.

852
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:09,410
Someone trying to be the center

853
00:25:09,410 --> 00:25:10,850
of attention is gonna be louder

854
00:25:10,850 --> 00:25:12,943
or, move around a certain way.

855
00:25:12,943 --> 00:25:13,513
I don't know.

856
00:25:13,543 --> 00:25:13,963
Right?

857
00:25:13,993 --> 00:25:15,253
Trying to take away from you.

858
00:25:15,493 --> 00:25:16,733
And if you're worried about that, she's

859
00:25:16,763 --> 00:25:18,653
probably already not a good friend to you.

860
00:25:18,936 --> 00:25:19,583
' cause most friends are

861
00:25:19,583 --> 00:25:20,573
gonna wanna lift you up.

862
00:25:20,796 --> 00:25:21,996
Either supporting you,

863
00:25:22,086 --> 00:25:23,196
help you in any way, right?

864
00:25:23,670 --> 00:25:24,780
allowing her to do her hair and

865
00:25:24,780 --> 00:25:26,490
makeup, how she wants it to.

866
00:25:26,580 --> 00:25:29,070
Giving her full glam how she wants it to,

867
00:25:29,130 --> 00:25:30,933
that's not going to take away from you.

868
00:25:31,190 --> 00:25:32,290
Everyone's gonna know you're the bride.

869
00:25:32,620 --> 00:25:33,720
So I would say pull back the

870
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:34,710
reins a little bit on that.

871
00:25:34,820 --> 00:25:36,210
Let them do what they want, but

872
00:25:36,210 --> 00:25:37,380
be more firm with the dresses.

873
00:25:37,380 --> 00:25:38,726
Say the next time the dresses

874
00:25:38,726 --> 00:25:40,210
come up, say, okay, you know

875
00:25:40,210 --> 00:25:41,603
what, gimme a week guys.

876
00:25:41,603 --> 00:25:43,253
I'm gonna finalize it and

877
00:25:43,253 --> 00:25:45,273
then I will let you know what

878
00:25:45,273 --> 00:25:46,680
dress we need to order, okay?

879
00:25:46,993 --> 00:25:47,833
and just be clear on that.

880
00:25:48,151 --> 00:25:49,786
Now, I think the wedding is coming

881
00:25:49,786 --> 00:25:51,646
up pretty soon, so if you haven't

882
00:25:51,646 --> 00:25:52,936
already ordered the dresses, you're

883
00:25:52,936 --> 00:25:54,076
probably gonna wanna order them soon.

884
00:25:54,076 --> 00:25:55,636
I will message you that, because by

885
00:25:55,636 --> 00:25:57,036
the time this comes out, it might

886
00:25:57,036 --> 00:25:58,626
be a little bit closer to the date.

887
00:25:58,626 --> 00:25:59,316
I think it's gonna come out

888
00:25:59,591 --> 00:26:00,653
a month from recording this.

889
00:26:00,875 --> 00:26:01,600
So I'm gonna let you

890
00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,280
know my points directly.

891
00:26:03,593 --> 00:26:05,213
I would be very clear, all

892
00:26:05,213 --> 00:26:06,293
right, I looked over all these

893
00:26:06,293 --> 00:26:08,333
dresses, this is what I decided.

894
00:26:08,548 --> 00:26:09,473
Because right now you're giving

895
00:26:09,473 --> 00:26:10,853
them too many options and you're

896
00:26:10,853 --> 00:26:12,353
allowing them to give their opinions.

897
00:26:12,353 --> 00:26:14,063
So if you don't want them to give their

898
00:26:14,063 --> 00:26:16,560
opinions, tell them this is the option.

899
00:26:16,856 --> 00:26:18,240
here's the website you can choose

900
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,466
from A, B, or C. By next week.

901
00:26:20,466 --> 00:26:21,306
Let me know what you picked.

902
00:26:21,508 --> 00:26:23,573
If by next week they haven't picked

903
00:26:23,573 --> 00:26:24,623
the dress, or they haven't ordered

904
00:26:24,623 --> 00:26:26,836
the dress, you say like, Hey, we

905
00:26:26,836 --> 00:26:28,066
need to order it by this date.

906
00:26:28,156 --> 00:26:29,176
Do you still wanna be

907
00:26:29,176 --> 00:26:29,986
a part of this wedding?

908
00:26:30,432 --> 00:26:31,279
then let them know.

909
00:26:31,339 --> 00:26:32,629
And for anyone listening now, that

910
00:26:32,629 --> 00:26:34,549
is like in these beginning stages of

911
00:26:34,639 --> 00:26:36,519
planning their wedding, communication,

912
00:26:36,519 --> 00:26:37,839
communication, communication.

913
00:26:37,899 --> 00:26:39,249
In the very beginning when you ask

914
00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:40,709
to be a part of the wedding, tell

915
00:26:40,709 --> 00:26:42,239
them what the expectations are.

916
00:26:42,485 --> 00:26:43,152
Say hi.

917
00:26:43,152 --> 00:26:44,322
Just letting you guys know.

918
00:26:44,602 --> 00:26:46,095
we are gonna have a bachelorette party.

919
00:26:46,355 --> 00:26:47,599
Typically, that means

920
00:26:47,599 --> 00:26:49,302
like bridesmaids cover it.

921
00:26:49,632 --> 00:26:50,792
Please let me know your budget.

922
00:26:51,052 --> 00:26:52,752
we can talk about it, at a later date,

923
00:26:52,752 --> 00:26:54,222
but I just wanna make sure like you

924
00:26:54,222 --> 00:26:55,752
guys know, this is the expectation.

925
00:26:56,079 --> 00:26:58,412
It's really important to be clear.

926
00:26:58,705 --> 00:27:00,355
especially when friends are from different

927
00:27:00,355 --> 00:27:02,505
groups, they might all do it differently,

928
00:27:02,849 --> 00:27:05,039
and I don't think it should ever be

929
00:27:05,352 --> 00:27:07,392
an expectation without communicating

930
00:27:07,585 --> 00:27:08,665
that they're gonna pay for you.

931
00:27:09,049 --> 00:27:11,299
For me personally, it was more important

932
00:27:11,299 --> 00:27:13,189
that a certain friend could make it to

933
00:27:13,189 --> 00:27:14,869
my bachelorette party or to my wedding

934
00:27:15,215 --> 00:27:17,129
than being able to afford something.

935
00:27:17,482 --> 00:27:18,632
So if someone came to me and they were

936
00:27:18,632 --> 00:27:21,635
like, I can't afford to get my dress,

937
00:27:21,785 --> 00:27:23,109
I'd be like, well, Can I pay for it?

938
00:27:23,619 --> 00:27:24,189
How can I help?

939
00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:26,965
And again, your gifts that you got, the

940
00:27:26,965 --> 00:27:30,085
bridesmaids as extra or the bachelorette

941
00:27:30,085 --> 00:27:32,035
party decorations or gift bags.

942
00:27:32,482 --> 00:27:33,472
Has nothing to do with

943
00:27:33,472 --> 00:27:34,522
their own personal budget.

944
00:27:34,552 --> 00:27:35,932
That's something extra that you

945
00:27:35,932 --> 00:27:37,522
wanted to give them as a gift.

946
00:27:37,763 --> 00:27:38,922
So that has to remain as a gift.

947
00:27:38,922 --> 00:27:40,332
That's not a string attached.

948
00:27:40,786 --> 00:27:41,172
All right.

949
00:27:41,412 --> 00:27:42,072
I hope that helps.

950
00:27:42,072 --> 00:27:43,972
I know that was a lot, but I really

951
00:27:43,972 --> 00:27:45,652
hope that helps and I hope you guys

952
00:27:45,652 --> 00:27:48,039
have an amazing rest of your wedding

953
00:27:48,039 --> 00:27:49,882
experience and wedding planning.

954
00:27:49,912 --> 00:27:52,152
And, I'll be sure to reach out my direct

955
00:27:52,152 --> 00:27:54,132
comments to you, she did send me pictures

956
00:27:54,132 --> 00:27:56,442
of the dresses, but for her own privacy,

957
00:27:56,502 --> 00:27:59,132
I'm not gonna share them on here because

958
00:27:59,132 --> 00:28:01,582
I don't want her, bridesmaids to know.

959
00:28:01,912 --> 00:28:04,109
but yeah, that's my own personal take.

960
00:28:04,394 --> 00:28:05,862
I mean, looking at the dresses myself,

961
00:28:05,862 --> 00:28:07,515
I think they look, yeah, maybe they're

962
00:28:07,515 --> 00:28:08,932
a little more conservative, but I

963
00:28:08,932 --> 00:28:10,282
don't see anything wrong with them.

964
00:28:10,282 --> 00:28:11,875
I think they're perfectly

965
00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:13,915
acceptable and beautiful dresses.

966
00:28:14,199 --> 00:28:15,072
and.

967
00:28:15,340 --> 00:28:16,035
I take that back.

968
00:28:16,095 --> 00:28:17,775
No, they're gorgeous dresses.

969
00:28:18,135 --> 00:28:19,035
I would absolutely wear

970
00:28:19,035 --> 00:28:20,235
these as a bridesmaid.

971
00:28:20,575 --> 00:28:21,525
the first one looks a little

972
00:28:21,525 --> 00:28:23,145
more conservative, but I

973
00:28:23,145 --> 00:28:24,375
think it's still gorgeous.

974
00:28:24,375 --> 00:28:25,155
It's very cute.

975
00:28:25,155 --> 00:28:27,209
It's without showing the picture.

976
00:28:27,209 --> 00:28:28,679
It's like an off the shoulder.

977
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,259
sure it's up a little higher, but

978
00:28:30,259 --> 00:28:31,969
it's off the shoulder, which is sexy.

979
00:28:32,265 --> 00:28:34,432
and it's a perfectly good length.

980
00:28:34,432 --> 00:28:35,782
It's like a little longer.

981
00:28:36,029 --> 00:28:37,052
The other one is off the

982
00:28:37,052 --> 00:28:38,552
shoulder and shows a little leg.

983
00:28:38,642 --> 00:28:39,992
So totally sexy.

984
00:28:40,275 --> 00:28:41,825
Totally a cute dress.

985
00:28:42,105 --> 00:28:43,565
I think I would wear it.

986
00:28:43,895 --> 00:28:45,435
So there's that.

987
00:28:47,182 --> 00:28:48,772
Again, I'm not the end all be all when

988
00:28:48,772 --> 00:28:51,049
it comes to, Opinions and dresses.

989
00:28:51,049 --> 00:28:53,269
That's just my own personal opinion.

990
00:28:53,608 --> 00:28:55,412
All right, guys, that was

991
00:28:55,412 --> 00:28:56,282
just the wedding dilemma.

992
00:28:56,282 --> 00:28:56,972
We've still got a lot

993
00:28:56,972 --> 00:28:58,112
more drama to dive into.

994
00:28:58,428 --> 00:28:58,985
All right.

995
00:28:59,161 --> 00:29:00,769
Again, if you have a wedding 911 or

996
00:29:00,769 --> 00:29:02,389
a wedding dilemma you want me to,

997
00:29:02,669 --> 00:29:04,689
talk about on the podcast, which I

998
00:29:04,689 --> 00:29:06,655
do these on my solo episodes, you can

999
00:29:06,655 --> 00:29:09,745
email me at hello@christainnis.com.

1000
00:29:09,989 --> 00:29:12,089
Use the subject line wedding 911.

1001
00:29:13,391 --> 00:29:13,811
All right.

1002
00:29:14,081 --> 00:29:16,211
Before we get to this week's

1003
00:29:16,421 --> 00:29:18,115
line reaction, we're gonna

1004
00:29:18,115 --> 00:29:19,435
do a little would you rather,

1005
00:29:19,892 --> 00:29:20,161
all right.

1006
00:29:20,161 --> 00:29:22,111
Would you rather a relative live

1007
00:29:22,111 --> 00:29:24,325
stream, your ceremony or post

1008
00:29:24,385 --> 00:29:26,635
unapproved photos immediately?

1009
00:29:26,918 --> 00:29:28,571
as long as it's after the ceremony.

1010
00:29:28,571 --> 00:29:30,341
I would say post unapproved photos.

1011
00:29:30,341 --> 00:29:31,301
I don't need to approve

1012
00:29:31,301 --> 00:29:32,988
every photo livestream.

1013
00:29:32,988 --> 00:29:34,668
The ceremony feels a little invasive

1014
00:29:34,668 --> 00:29:36,408
to me because if you weren't invited to

1015
00:29:36,408 --> 00:29:38,348
be a part of the ceremony, I don't want

1016
00:29:38,348 --> 00:29:39,818
everybody seeing that, and I don't know

1017
00:29:39,818 --> 00:29:41,528
where that is or that is on Facebook.

1018
00:29:41,692 --> 00:29:42,568
Do people live stream

1019
00:29:42,568 --> 00:29:43,498
weddings on Facebook?

1020
00:29:43,498 --> 00:29:43,678
No.

1021
00:29:43,708 --> 00:29:44,278
No, thank you.

1022
00:29:44,578 --> 00:29:45,928
would you rather be guilt tripped

1023
00:29:45,928 --> 00:29:47,698
into inviting someone or deal with

1024
00:29:47,698 --> 00:29:49,318
the fallout for not inviting them?

1025
00:29:49,642 --> 00:29:51,551
Deal with the fallout if they were not

1026
00:29:51,551 --> 00:29:54,045
on my original list to invite, that's

1027
00:29:54,045 --> 00:29:55,755
because they weren't close enough to me.

1028
00:29:56,151 --> 00:29:56,298
Oh.

1029
00:29:56,298 --> 00:29:58,380
I will say a couple years later, I

1030
00:29:58,380 --> 00:29:59,940
do have some regrets of people I did

1031
00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:01,630
not invite, but no one ever guilt

1032
00:30:01,630 --> 00:30:03,370
tripped me for inviting them or not.

1033
00:30:03,370 --> 00:30:04,690
I just thought about it later

1034
00:30:04,690 --> 00:30:05,990
and I was like, I kinda wish

1035
00:30:05,990 --> 00:30:06,680
I would've invited them.

1036
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,053
But what can you now, okay.

1037
00:30:09,503 --> 00:30:11,693
Would you rather have an empty dance

1038
00:30:11,693 --> 00:30:14,723
floor or dance floor chaos with injuries?

1039
00:30:15,090 --> 00:30:16,590
Ooh, what kind of injuries

1040
00:30:16,590 --> 00:30:17,640
are we talking about?

1041
00:30:17,955 --> 00:30:19,593
I hate an empty dance floor.

1042
00:30:19,593 --> 00:30:22,197
I despise an empty dance floor.

1043
00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:24,447
Why have a dance floor if no one is on it?

1044
00:30:24,795 --> 00:30:26,680
The best weddings I've ever been to

1045
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:28,510
is when there's a packed dance floor.

1046
00:30:28,868 --> 00:30:29,903
Maybe some people fall.

1047
00:30:29,903 --> 00:30:30,533
I don't know.

1048
00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:31,733
We got heels on, so that's

1049
00:30:31,733 --> 00:30:32,513
why you take 'em off.

1050
00:30:32,865 --> 00:30:34,513
I'm gonna say injuries, praying

1051
00:30:34,513 --> 00:30:36,553
and hoping they are minor injuries.

1052
00:30:36,553 --> 00:30:37,573
Like maybe someone just falls in

1053
00:30:37,573 --> 00:30:38,713
their butt and they have to like sit

1054
00:30:38,713 --> 00:30:40,063
down and sit out for a little bit.

1055
00:30:40,391 --> 00:30:41,167
Empty dance floor.

1056
00:30:41,167 --> 00:30:41,737
No thank you.

1057
00:30:41,767 --> 00:30:43,617
I don't wanna be to an event where

1058
00:30:43,617 --> 00:30:44,757
there's an empty dance floor.

1059
00:30:45,063 --> 00:30:46,953
when my husband and I went to our first

1060
00:30:46,953 --> 00:30:48,972
wedding together, I knew he was the one

1061
00:30:48,972 --> 00:30:53,288
because no, this is just me being, funny.

1062
00:30:53,618 --> 00:30:54,818
my family, when we were at

1063
00:30:54,818 --> 00:30:56,078
weddings, we were all on the

1064
00:30:56,078 --> 00:30:57,608
dance floor all night long.

1065
00:30:57,872 --> 00:30:59,525
You can see my mom, my parents

1066
00:30:59,525 --> 00:31:00,455
are on the dance floor.

1067
00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:02,698
my cousin, like we aunts and uncles,

1068
00:31:02,698 --> 00:31:03,928
we are all on the dance floor.

1069
00:31:04,273 --> 00:31:06,282
So, when I went to the first

1070
00:31:06,282 --> 00:31:07,362
wedding with my husband and his

1071
00:31:07,362 --> 00:31:09,028
family, they were the same way.

1072
00:31:09,028 --> 00:31:11,158
I was like, yes, I have a fun.

1073
00:31:11,668 --> 00:31:14,468
Fun in-law, like family to go

1074
00:31:14,468 --> 00:31:15,867
into at that point we'd only been

1075
00:31:15,867 --> 00:31:17,580
dating like six months, so I wasn't

1076
00:31:17,580 --> 00:31:18,840
thinking about weddings yet, but,

1077
00:31:19,123 --> 00:31:20,443
you need a crowded dance floor.

1078
00:31:20,687 --> 00:31:22,093
Anyway, that was a long side story.

1079
00:31:22,527 --> 00:31:24,740
Would you rather seat exes together

1080
00:31:24,943 --> 00:31:27,780
or seat feuding relatives together?

1081
00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:29,296
This sounds like a familiar

1082
00:31:29,296 --> 00:31:30,616
one I did before, but whatever.

1083
00:31:30,900 --> 00:31:33,149
I think I'd rather seat exes together

1084
00:31:33,154 --> 00:31:35,669
because I think in general, and this

1085
00:31:35,669 --> 00:31:38,099
might be just my own perspective,

1086
00:31:38,099 --> 00:31:40,893
i think relatives that are feuding

1087
00:31:40,893 --> 00:31:42,543
goes a little bit deeper, right?

1088
00:31:42,879 --> 00:31:44,646
That's gonna hurt a little bit more.

1089
00:31:44,856 --> 00:31:46,716
Someone knows how to get under their skin.

1090
00:31:47,070 --> 00:31:47,670
Exes.

1091
00:31:47,686 --> 00:31:49,186
I think it goes one of two ways.

1092
00:31:49,186 --> 00:31:50,326
They either know how to completely

1093
00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:51,196
ignore each other at that

1094
00:31:51,196 --> 00:31:52,336
point 'cause they're just done.

1095
00:31:52,613 --> 00:31:54,796
or they can just like banter and

1096
00:31:54,796 --> 00:31:56,406
just be like, you're an idiot.

1097
00:31:57,336 --> 00:31:57,786
I don't know.

1098
00:31:58,064 --> 00:32:01,279
Or if you read enough romance, comedy,

1099
00:32:01,309 --> 00:32:03,626
romantic comedy books, maybe they'll

1100
00:32:03,626 --> 00:32:05,006
just vibe that night and have like a

1101
00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:06,573
little, little fling for the night.

1102
00:32:06,916 --> 00:32:07,276
Okay.

1103
00:32:07,524 --> 00:32:09,406
Would you rather a guest bring someone

1104
00:32:09,406 --> 00:32:12,249
you hate or not show up at all?

1105
00:32:12,657 --> 00:32:13,444
Not show up at all.

1106
00:32:13,474 --> 00:32:14,824
I don't want someone I hate at my wedding.

1107
00:32:15,217 --> 00:32:17,170
Would you rather have people RUP yes

1108
00:32:17,170 --> 00:32:20,260
and not show or RUP no and show up?

1109
00:32:20,660 --> 00:32:22,419
Professionally speaking, I

1110
00:32:22,419 --> 00:32:24,989
would say yes and not show up.

1111
00:32:25,310 --> 00:32:28,559
But as a bride, if it's someone I invited

1112
00:32:28,559 --> 00:32:30,029
that I was like kind of bummed that they

1113
00:32:30,029 --> 00:32:31,349
weren't coming and then they just showed

1114
00:32:31,349 --> 00:32:32,939
up, I'd be like, oh my God, you're here.

1115
00:32:32,939 --> 00:32:34,049
What a nice surprise.

1116
00:32:34,324 --> 00:32:35,549
After the fact, after we eat

1117
00:32:35,549 --> 00:32:37,022
dinner and stuff, would you rather

1118
00:32:37,022 --> 00:32:39,125
cut decor or cut the open bar?

1119
00:32:39,215 --> 00:32:39,965
Cut decor.

1120
00:32:40,085 --> 00:32:41,075
We need the open bar.

1121
00:32:41,075 --> 00:32:41,855
Thank you.

1122
00:32:42,189 --> 00:32:43,479
Would you rather go cheap on

1123
00:32:43,479 --> 00:32:46,179
flowers or go cheap on food?

1124
00:32:46,507 --> 00:32:47,892
Cheap on flowers.

1125
00:32:48,372 --> 00:32:51,615
I used a friend's, I don't know,

1126
00:32:51,705 --> 00:32:53,745
silk flowers and they looked great.

1127
00:32:54,185 --> 00:32:55,282
I would not go cheap on food,

1128
00:32:55,619 --> 00:32:56,972
but we did go cheap or on food.

1129
00:32:56,972 --> 00:32:58,322
I did not do a full plated thing

1130
00:32:58,322 --> 00:32:59,792
that was like $200 a plate.

1131
00:33:00,062 --> 00:33:03,035
We did a taco buffet, taco bar, and

1132
00:33:03,035 --> 00:33:04,890
then we had late night snack of pizza.

1133
00:33:05,915 --> 00:33:08,282
Yes, and I got married in my thirties.

1134
00:33:08,652 --> 00:33:10,002
All right, here we go guys.

1135
00:33:10,002 --> 00:33:10,692
Who is ready?

1136
00:33:10,722 --> 00:33:11,922
Holy macaroni.

1137
00:33:11,922 --> 00:33:13,208
This let's get comfortable guys.

1138
00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:15,245
Pour a glass of wine, get a cup of

1139
00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:16,775
coffee, whatever time of day it is.

1140
00:33:16,775 --> 00:33:17,555
Whatever you drink,

1141
00:33:17,905 --> 00:33:18,998
buckle your seat belts.

1142
00:33:19,028 --> 00:33:19,658
Let's dive in.

1143
00:33:20,058 --> 00:33:22,111
Let me start by saying that overall

1144
00:33:22,258 --> 00:33:24,058
the wedding was absolutely beautiful,

1145
00:33:24,471 --> 00:33:26,481
truly something out of a storybook.

1146
00:33:26,875 --> 00:33:28,365
I had an incredible support

1147
00:33:28,365 --> 00:33:30,075
system that worked hard to keep

1148
00:33:30,075 --> 00:33:32,578
almost all the chaos away from my

1149
00:33:32,578 --> 00:33:34,738
husband and me on the day itself.

1150
00:33:35,238 --> 00:33:37,261
We started dating about five years ago,

1151
00:33:37,491 --> 00:33:39,541
and the very first time I met his mother,

1152
00:33:39,775 --> 00:33:42,348
just one month into our relationship, she

1153
00:33:42,348 --> 00:33:45,018
talked extensively about her pregnancy

1154
00:33:45,281 --> 00:33:48,378
and about me eventually carrying his kids.

1155
00:33:48,528 --> 00:33:48,978
Whoa.

1156
00:33:49,458 --> 00:33:51,798
One month in I'd be like, okay,

1157
00:33:52,211 --> 00:33:53,305
it's a little, a little much.

1158
00:33:53,611 --> 00:33:54,498
That would've scared me away.

1159
00:33:55,071 --> 00:33:56,761
It was a strange thing to say

1160
00:33:56,761 --> 00:33:58,081
to someone you've just met,

1161
00:33:58,361 --> 00:33:59,715
but it didn't stop from there.

1162
00:34:00,041 --> 00:34:02,051
She continued to bring it up every

1163
00:34:02,051 --> 00:34:04,251
chance she got when we decided

1164
00:34:04,251 --> 00:34:05,901
to move in together, she invited

1165
00:34:05,901 --> 00:34:07,791
herself to stay with us for a week.

1166
00:34:08,066 --> 00:34:10,691
How, how does that happen a week?

1167
00:34:10,975 --> 00:34:12,558
Who is not talking to her?

1168
00:34:12,558 --> 00:34:13,878
Your husband is not telling

1169
00:34:13,878 --> 00:34:16,591
her, no mom, this is ridiculous.

1170
00:34:16,591 --> 00:34:17,101
Get out.

1171
00:34:17,501 --> 00:34:18,431
How does that happen?

1172
00:34:18,731 --> 00:34:21,048
That week caused so much chaos

1173
00:34:21,048 --> 00:34:22,398
between my husband and me.

1174
00:34:22,701 --> 00:34:24,611
That was their first place living

1175
00:34:24,611 --> 00:34:26,471
together and she ruined it.

1176
00:34:26,818 --> 00:34:28,445
Your first week living together is

1177
00:34:28,445 --> 00:34:29,945
like so exciting, but also scary

1178
00:34:29,975 --> 00:34:31,141
'cause you're like, okay, am I

1179
00:34:31,141 --> 00:34:32,431
gonna learn these weird habits?

1180
00:34:32,431 --> 00:34:33,871
Are we gonna like mesh well?

1181
00:34:34,118 --> 00:34:35,018
And then you're like, this is like

1182
00:34:35,018 --> 00:34:36,188
a fun, well at least for me it

1183
00:34:36,188 --> 00:34:37,811
was, it was like a fun sleepover.

1184
00:34:37,811 --> 00:34:38,531
I'm like, oh my gosh,

1185
00:34:38,531 --> 00:34:39,431
we never have to leave.

1186
00:34:39,461 --> 00:34:40,451
Oh my gosh, this is so fun.

1187
00:34:40,671 --> 00:34:42,501
imagine if their mom was there.

1188
00:34:42,831 --> 00:34:43,880
That would kill the vibe.

1189
00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:45,410
Okay.

1190
00:34:46,003 --> 00:34:47,203
Why did he say no?

1191
00:34:47,203 --> 00:34:48,253
I have so many questions.

1192
00:34:48,698 --> 00:34:50,863
I ended up breaking down crying in a

1193
00:34:50,863 --> 00:34:53,833
target parking lot because of her antics.

1194
00:34:54,131 --> 00:34:56,233
Later that same evening, she

1195
00:34:56,233 --> 00:34:58,363
had him crawling inside a trash

1196
00:34:58,363 --> 00:35:00,185
compactor and refused to let us

1197
00:35:00,185 --> 00:35:02,110
back into the car until he did it.

1198
00:35:02,110 --> 00:35:02,410
What?

1199
00:35:02,773 --> 00:35:04,603
For the next three years, it was

1200
00:35:04,603 --> 00:35:07,153
an exhausting and toxic cycle.

1201
00:35:07,431 --> 00:35:09,373
She terrorized my husband,

1202
00:35:09,571 --> 00:35:11,236
my family, and me.

1203
00:35:11,568 --> 00:35:13,190
Eventually we bought our home and

1204
00:35:13,190 --> 00:35:15,363
decided to host Thanksgiving instead

1205
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:16,743
of splitting the holidays among

1206
00:35:16,743 --> 00:35:18,633
four sets of divorced parents.

1207
00:35:18,984 --> 00:35:21,136
Both of our parents are divorced,

1208
00:35:21,301 --> 00:35:23,713
but only mine get along something his

1209
00:35:23,713 --> 00:35:26,503
mother despises and frequently comments

1210
00:35:26,503 --> 00:35:28,243
on because she can't do it herself.

1211
00:35:28,738 --> 00:35:29,113
Oh my gosh.

1212
00:35:29,839 --> 00:35:30,799
I still have so many questions

1213
00:35:30,799 --> 00:35:32,119
about that first week of her just

1214
00:35:32,119 --> 00:35:34,069
moving in and welcoming herself.

1215
00:35:34,429 --> 00:35:36,463
Why did your husband not say anything?

1216
00:35:36,959 --> 00:35:39,106
I'm just very like my space kind of thing.

1217
00:35:39,106 --> 00:35:40,436
So like when I invite people,

1218
00:35:40,436 --> 00:35:41,606
I want more the merrier.

1219
00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:43,946
I love combining friends and groups.

1220
00:35:43,946 --> 00:35:45,896
Like just all come one, come on and

1221
00:35:45,901 --> 00:35:48,128
come all, but don't show up unannounced.

1222
00:35:48,419 --> 00:35:49,778
And don't expect you can like,

1223
00:35:50,228 --> 00:35:52,718
make, stay and don't extend that.

1224
00:35:52,718 --> 00:35:53,318
Stay.

1225
00:35:53,592 --> 00:35:55,608
Like if you ask me, I'm like, yeah,

1226
00:35:55,894 --> 00:35:57,018
I'm more than willing to help.

1227
00:35:57,018 --> 00:35:58,158
But when I read stuff like that,

1228
00:35:58,158 --> 00:35:59,808
I'm like, oh my gosh, it's terrible.

1229
00:36:00,132 --> 00:36:01,218
The first Thanksgiving was

1230
00:36:01,218 --> 00:36:03,248
manageable despite a few fits.

1231
00:36:03,402 --> 00:36:05,451
A year later, we decided to host again.

1232
00:36:05,686 --> 00:36:07,211
This time we were engaged.

1233
00:36:07,437 --> 00:36:08,981
The FaceTime call to tell her

1234
00:36:08,981 --> 00:36:11,311
about the engagement was memorable.

1235
00:36:11,644 --> 00:36:13,931
So was the mom not at.

1236
00:36:14,206 --> 00:36:15,076
Oh, she was saying she

1237
00:36:15,076 --> 00:36:16,066
FaceTimed before this.

1238
00:36:16,066 --> 00:36:16,306
Okay.

1239
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,133
She spent the entire call showing us the

1240
00:36:19,133 --> 00:36:20,903
shoes she had picked out for the wedding,

1241
00:36:21,230 --> 00:36:23,069
and repeatedly saying that she was the

1242
00:36:23,069 --> 00:36:25,723
first to know he was going to propose.

1243
00:36:26,057 --> 00:36:28,303
In reality, I was with him when we picked

1244
00:36:28,303 --> 00:36:30,519
out and bought the ring and he called my

1245
00:36:30,519 --> 00:36:33,486
parents first to ask for their permission,

1246
00:36:33,797 --> 00:36:36,833
then his dad and finally his mom to let

1247
00:36:36,833 --> 00:36:38,813
her know he was planning to propose.

1248
00:36:39,077 --> 00:36:41,559
He proposed in May and by Thanksgiving

1249
00:36:41,559 --> 00:36:43,629
we already had the venue dress

1250
00:36:43,689 --> 00:36:46,989
photographer and possibly catering booked.

1251
00:36:47,253 --> 00:36:47,879
You go girl.

1252
00:36:48,250 --> 00:36:50,006
When Thanksgiving rolled around, she

1253
00:36:50,006 --> 00:36:52,549
arrived in a foul mood, furious that my

1254
00:36:52,549 --> 00:36:54,709
parents were already there and complaining

1255
00:36:54,709 --> 00:36:56,569
that she wanted alone time with us.

1256
00:36:56,823 --> 00:36:59,453
We had explicitly told her a month prior

1257
00:36:59,607 --> 00:37:01,163
that Thanksgiving would be a family

1258
00:37:01,163 --> 00:37:03,623
affair, and that if she wanted alone time,

1259
00:37:03,867 --> 00:37:05,723
she should come by after the holiday.

1260
00:37:05,987 --> 00:37:07,136
Completely respectable.

1261
00:37:07,366 --> 00:37:08,026
Completely normal.

1262
00:37:08,463 --> 00:37:10,283
But She has a huge fear of missing

1263
00:37:10,283 --> 00:37:12,433
out and insisted on coming anyway,

1264
00:37:12,717 --> 00:37:14,496
and then demanded alone time.

1265
00:37:14,556 --> 00:37:16,966
Once she arrived to accommodate

1266
00:37:16,966 --> 00:37:19,456
her, I took my parents to visit the

1267
00:37:19,456 --> 00:37:21,929
wedding venue the next day so she

1268
00:37:21,929 --> 00:37:23,789
could spend alone time with her son.

1269
00:37:24,103 --> 00:37:27,109
Despite this, she spent the entire week

1270
00:37:27,109 --> 00:37:29,119
throwing tantrums, so she stayed with

1271
00:37:29,119 --> 00:37:31,236
them again a week for Thanksgiving.

1272
00:37:31,831 --> 00:37:32,866
What's going on here?

1273
00:37:33,210 --> 00:37:35,066
On Thanksgiving Day, she packed

1274
00:37:35,066 --> 00:37:37,076
her bags and threatened to leave.

1275
00:37:37,490 --> 00:37:39,249
The following day, she attacked my

1276
00:37:39,249 --> 00:37:41,709
mother so badly that my parents ended

1277
00:37:41,709 --> 00:37:43,719
up getting in their car and leaving

1278
00:37:45,210 --> 00:37:47,467
Once my parents were gone, we sat down

1279
00:37:47,467 --> 00:37:49,807
and had a long conversation agreeing

1280
00:37:49,807 --> 00:37:51,667
to a clean slate and a fresh start.

1281
00:37:51,697 --> 00:37:52,027
Ooh.

1282
00:37:52,325 --> 00:37:54,904
Despite finally having alone time,

1283
00:37:54,994 --> 00:37:57,184
she claimed to want to move her

1284
00:37:57,184 --> 00:38:00,253
flight up an entire day and left early

1285
00:38:00,872 --> 00:38:03,432
after that, unless we reached out.

1286
00:38:03,522 --> 00:38:05,562
There was complete radio silence

1287
00:38:05,833 --> 00:38:07,103
until her husband went to the

1288
00:38:07,103 --> 00:38:09,473
hospital and had his leg amputated.

1289
00:38:09,935 --> 00:38:10,425
Wow.

1290
00:38:10,515 --> 00:38:10,845
Okay.

1291
00:38:11,162 --> 00:38:12,567
We flew out as soon as we could,

1292
00:38:12,882 --> 00:38:14,867
but by then he was in hospice

1293
00:38:15,284 --> 00:38:17,237
and she was actively planning his

1294
00:38:17,237 --> 00:38:19,542
funeral while sitting beside him.

1295
00:38:19,947 --> 00:38:20,780
Wait, I wanna pause for a

1296
00:38:20,780 --> 00:38:21,890
second before I get into that.

1297
00:38:22,228 --> 00:38:25,592
Why was she so mad about Thanksgiving?

1298
00:38:25,802 --> 00:38:27,152
They said it was a family thing,

1299
00:38:27,472 --> 00:38:29,417
but she wanted alone time, but she

1300
00:38:29,417 --> 00:38:31,697
refused to come early or stay late,

1301
00:38:32,021 --> 00:38:33,383
so then she wanted to leave early.

1302
00:38:33,687 --> 00:38:34,889
I think I'm missing something here.

1303
00:38:35,260 --> 00:38:35,410
Okay.

1304
00:38:35,410 --> 00:38:36,220
Back at the hospital.

1305
00:38:36,220 --> 00:38:37,870
Now while we were there, so my husband

1306
00:38:37,870 --> 00:38:39,430
could say goodbye to his stepfather,

1307
00:38:39,682 --> 00:38:41,187
who played a huge role in his life.

1308
00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:42,994
She brought friends into the room

1309
00:38:42,994 --> 00:38:44,554
to question us about the wedding.

1310
00:38:45,013 --> 00:38:47,327
What now is the time when

1311
00:38:47,327 --> 00:38:48,947
her husband is dying?

1312
00:38:49,233 --> 00:38:51,077
She brings friends to question

1313
00:38:51,077 --> 00:38:52,367
you about your wedding.

1314
00:38:52,650 --> 00:38:54,897
We repeatedly told them this wasn't the

1315
00:38:54,897 --> 00:38:57,777
time or the place, but they wouldn't stop.

1316
00:38:57,820 --> 00:38:58,920
Who are these people she hired?

1317
00:38:59,106 --> 00:39:00,090
Because I don't believe this woman

1318
00:39:00,090 --> 00:39:01,864
has friends that would do this.

1319
00:39:01,864 --> 00:39:02,824
I mean, maybe, I don't know,

1320
00:39:02,884 --> 00:39:04,174
but that's just so odd to me.

1321
00:39:04,562 --> 00:39:06,385
He passed later that week and

1322
00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:07,760
the funeral was scheduled for

1323
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,837
a month later at the service.

1324
00:39:09,837 --> 00:39:12,354
Countless people, many of whom my

1325
00:39:12,354 --> 00:39:14,477
husband didn't even know, came up

1326
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:16,397
to congratulate us and said they

1327
00:39:16,397 --> 00:39:18,737
couldn't wait to attend the wedding.

1328
00:39:19,104 --> 00:39:20,350
What you do this like create a

1329
00:39:20,620 --> 00:39:22,660
bulletin board or post it on Facebook

1330
00:39:22,660 --> 00:39:24,070
and tell all her friends the date.

1331
00:39:24,820 --> 00:39:25,420
This is wild.

1332
00:39:25,871 --> 00:39:28,857
She also invited his ex-girlfriend

1333
00:39:29,161 --> 00:39:32,114
and her now husband to the funeral

1334
00:39:32,331 --> 00:39:34,244
and spent most of her time with them.

1335
00:39:34,244 --> 00:39:34,964
I thought she was gonna say she

1336
00:39:34,964 --> 00:39:35,954
invited the ex-girlfriend to the

1337
00:39:35,954 --> 00:39:38,347
wedding, but still, despite previously

1338
00:39:38,347 --> 00:39:40,737
insisting they hadn't spoken in years.

1339
00:39:40,984 --> 00:39:42,270
That's weird for the ex-girlfriend.

1340
00:39:42,270 --> 00:39:43,170
Why are you showing up?

1341
00:39:43,508 --> 00:39:44,950
Like it's good to pay your respects

1342
00:39:44,970 --> 00:39:46,650
but also like maybe you can just like

1343
00:39:46,650 --> 00:39:48,570
send a card to the mail, send flowers.

1344
00:39:48,868 --> 00:39:49,250
I don't know.

1345
00:39:49,548 --> 00:39:51,497
We later found out they'd also been

1346
00:39:51,497 --> 00:39:54,017
visiting the hospice, but only when we

1347
00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:56,503
weren't there at the lunch afterward.

1348
00:39:56,503 --> 00:39:58,393
It was just us, his mother, his

1349
00:39:58,393 --> 00:39:59,983
step sibling, and their spouse.

1350
00:40:00,274 --> 00:40:01,973
his mother used that moment to ask

1351
00:40:01,973 --> 00:40:04,220
my husband if she was still the

1352
00:40:04,220 --> 00:40:06,140
most important woman in his life.

1353
00:40:07,730 --> 00:40:07,820
No.

1354
00:40:09,411 --> 00:40:10,363
Why are we doing this?

1355
00:40:11,014 --> 00:40:12,247
why are we doing this?

1356
00:40:12,571 --> 00:40:13,884
Do you feel like there's

1357
00:40:13,884 --> 00:40:15,894
a competition between your

1358
00:40:15,894 --> 00:40:18,794
son's fiance, Lord have mercy.

1359
00:40:19,071 --> 00:40:20,961
You are in two different brackets,

1360
00:40:21,141 --> 00:40:23,444
not even in the same field.

1361
00:40:23,831 --> 00:40:24,281
Why?

1362
00:40:25,416 --> 00:40:25,636
Why?

1363
00:40:26,494 --> 00:40:28,761
When he said no, that I was,

1364
00:40:29,181 --> 00:40:31,911
she launched into attacking him.

1365
00:40:32,274 --> 00:40:34,391
Don't we want our kids to be happy?

1366
00:40:34,681 --> 00:40:36,421
This is just like mind blowing to me.

1367
00:40:36,797 --> 00:40:38,447
When he told her it wasn't the

1368
00:40:38,447 --> 00:40:40,727
time or the place she turned on me.

1369
00:40:41,034 --> 00:40:42,294
I told her the same thing.

1370
00:40:42,384 --> 00:40:43,524
This wasn't appropriate.

1371
00:40:43,877 --> 00:40:46,387
We had already addressed things before and

1372
00:40:46,387 --> 00:40:48,667
she was the one continuing the behavior.

1373
00:40:48,891 --> 00:40:49,761
We got up and left.

1374
00:40:49,761 --> 00:40:50,301
Good for you.

1375
00:40:50,331 --> 00:40:51,828
That's setting a boundary saying I'm not

1376
00:40:51,828 --> 00:40:53,868
gonna entertain this tantrum right now.

1377
00:40:54,374 --> 00:40:56,534
Five months later, wedding week arrived.

1378
00:40:56,564 --> 00:40:57,044
Oh my gosh.

1379
00:40:57,749 --> 00:40:59,159
Or just already wedding week.

1380
00:40:59,414 --> 00:41:00,796
I don't know if I could invite someone

1381
00:41:00,796 --> 00:41:02,289
like that, but again, I've never been

1382
00:41:02,289 --> 00:41:05,096
in a position where I had a toxic parent

1383
00:41:05,126 --> 00:41:07,426
or in-law like that, throws tantrums

1384
00:41:07,426 --> 00:41:09,743
and asks their son if they're the most

1385
00:41:09,743 --> 00:41:11,213
important woman still in their life.

1386
00:41:11,438 --> 00:41:13,283
Her dress had already been a battle.

1387
00:41:13,548 --> 00:41:14,809
She chose every color

1388
00:41:14,839 --> 00:41:16,519
except the one we asked for.

1389
00:41:16,744 --> 00:41:19,056
So she would match the family even after

1390
00:41:19,056 --> 00:41:20,886
being told she stand out negatively.

1391
00:41:21,274 --> 00:41:22,813
She ultimately chose a dress

1392
00:41:22,843 --> 00:41:25,303
nearly identical to my bridesmaid.

1393
00:41:26,084 --> 00:41:27,019
See, and again, I don't

1394
00:41:27,019 --> 00:41:28,306
think there's a problem.

1395
00:41:28,306 --> 00:41:30,676
I don't think most parents of the

1396
00:41:30,676 --> 00:41:32,873
brighter groom would do that if

1397
00:41:32,873 --> 00:41:34,073
you get along with them, if they

1398
00:41:34,073 --> 00:41:35,873
have a similar color or style.

1399
00:41:35,903 --> 00:41:37,679
I don't think that's a problem, but

1400
00:41:37,679 --> 00:41:38,969
you can tell she probably did it.

1401
00:41:39,258 --> 00:41:40,651
As a way to be like, look at me.

1402
00:41:40,651 --> 00:41:41,581
I'm in the wedding party.

1403
00:41:41,901 --> 00:41:43,591
She and another family member spent the

1404
00:41:43,591 --> 00:41:45,151
three days leading up to the wedding,

1405
00:41:45,151 --> 00:41:47,191
calling and harassing my husband.

1406
00:41:47,434 --> 00:41:48,904
why are they be invited still?

1407
00:41:49,204 --> 00:41:51,074
I would have security out front.

1408
00:41:51,338 --> 00:41:52,521
Have you seen this woman?

1409
00:41:52,741 --> 00:41:54,844
She's not allowed in here demanding

1410
00:41:54,934 --> 00:41:56,524
alone time and more involvement.

1411
00:41:56,554 --> 00:41:58,414
Why does she need to demand alone time?

1412
00:41:58,711 --> 00:42:00,334
If you need to demand alone time

1413
00:42:00,334 --> 00:42:02,368
with anybody, you're not, as

1414
00:42:02,368 --> 00:42:03,778
important to them as you think.

1415
00:42:04,148 --> 00:42:06,038
You don't have to demand alone time.

1416
00:42:06,384 --> 00:42:08,184
We had already offered them the rehearsal

1417
00:42:08,184 --> 00:42:10,224
dinner at a sendoff brunch, but they

1418
00:42:10,224 --> 00:42:11,604
complained they couldn't afford it.

1419
00:42:11,848 --> 00:42:13,324
We canceled the brunch and

1420
00:42:13,324 --> 00:42:14,704
his father stepped in to plan

1421
00:42:14,704 --> 00:42:15,784
and pay for the rehearsal.

1422
00:42:16,101 --> 00:42:18,131
At the rehearsal, they harassed

1423
00:42:18,131 --> 00:42:20,464
my bridesmaid by repeatedly asking

1424
00:42:20,464 --> 00:42:23,104
which groomsmen had been inside her.

1425
00:42:24,781 --> 00:42:25,651
What?

1426
00:42:26,408 --> 00:42:28,709
This is so inappropriate.

1427
00:42:29,748 --> 00:42:32,096
This mom seems like a creep.

1428
00:42:32,126 --> 00:42:32,756
I'm sorry.

1429
00:42:32,756 --> 00:42:34,256
That is so weird to me.

1430
00:42:34,684 --> 00:42:36,239
And we're saying they, so it's

1431
00:42:36,239 --> 00:42:37,379
her and another family member.

1432
00:42:37,379 --> 00:42:38,699
Who is this other family member?

1433
00:42:38,881 --> 00:42:39,773
Is it a sister?

1434
00:42:39,773 --> 00:42:41,543
Is it a uncle, a brother, a cousin.

1435
00:42:41,543 --> 00:42:44,143
Like this is so weird and pestering her.

1436
00:42:44,143 --> 00:42:45,763
Pestering the bridesmaid about

1437
00:42:45,763 --> 00:42:47,533
who she should go home with.

1438
00:42:47,834 --> 00:42:50,469
It got so bad she moved tables, but

1439
00:42:50,469 --> 00:42:52,989
they followed her and continued I'd be

1440
00:42:52,989 --> 00:42:55,096
kicking 'em out during my father-in-law's

1441
00:42:55,096 --> 00:42:57,736
speech interruptions and shouting

1442
00:42:57,736 --> 00:42:59,716
continued because they were upset.

1443
00:42:59,931 --> 00:43:01,706
Certain people weren't mentioned.

1444
00:43:02,088 --> 00:43:03,103
That's at the rehearsal Dinner.

1445
00:43:03,514 --> 00:43:04,373
Lord have mercy.

1446
00:43:04,834 --> 00:43:07,046
On the wedding day, she asked his

1447
00:43:07,046 --> 00:43:08,996
family to arrive when the chapel

1448
00:43:08,996 --> 00:43:11,636
opened and reserved front row seats.

1449
00:43:12,878 --> 00:43:13,946
So they're there hours early

1450
00:43:13,946 --> 00:43:14,846
putting their coats down.

1451
00:43:15,004 --> 00:43:15,746
This is my seat.

1452
00:43:15,746 --> 00:43:16,346
It's reserved.

1453
00:43:16,688 --> 00:43:18,073
His mother threw a fit when the

1454
00:43:18,103 --> 00:43:20,023
usher offered to show her to her

1455
00:43:20,023 --> 00:43:22,149
seat, shouting that she wasn't

1456
00:43:22,149 --> 00:43:23,919
being allowed to see her son.

1457
00:43:24,254 --> 00:43:26,379
My mother stepped in, calmly to

1458
00:43:26,379 --> 00:43:28,153
explain things, but his mother

1459
00:43:28,153 --> 00:43:29,683
complained about sitting near her

1460
00:43:29,683 --> 00:43:31,723
ex and demanded a different row.

1461
00:43:32,039 --> 00:43:33,756
Come on, if you can't sit for 30 minutes

1462
00:43:33,756 --> 00:43:35,406
during a ceremony, you shouldn't be there.

1463
00:43:35,776 --> 00:43:37,116
When my husband went to greet her

1464
00:43:37,116 --> 00:43:39,336
before returning to get ready, she

1465
00:43:39,336 --> 00:43:40,986
followed him into the groom suite

1466
00:43:41,206 --> 00:43:43,929
and slammed the barn door so hard.

1467
00:43:44,129 --> 00:43:46,269
She broke the shelves next to it.

1468
00:43:46,606 --> 00:43:48,413
I was supposed to be escorted into

1469
00:43:48,413 --> 00:43:50,206
that suite for lineup, but when the

1470
00:43:50,206 --> 00:43:52,456
door opened, she was standing there.

1471
00:43:52,743 --> 00:43:54,783
I immediately turned around and

1472
00:43:54,783 --> 00:43:57,706
went back to my room as I would too.

1473
00:43:58,156 --> 00:43:59,383
This is insane.

1474
00:44:00,026 --> 00:44:01,163
Holy cow.

1475
00:44:01,469 --> 00:44:03,039
This is a grown toddler.

1476
00:44:03,129 --> 00:44:04,299
This is what happens when

1477
00:44:04,299 --> 00:44:05,499
people aren't told no.

1478
00:44:06,109 --> 00:44:08,149
When they're kids, they become

1479
00:44:08,273 --> 00:44:11,006
entitled, rude and mean adults

1480
00:44:11,329 --> 00:44:12,626
that don't understand boundaries.

1481
00:44:12,656 --> 00:44:13,226
This is it.

1482
00:44:13,406 --> 00:44:15,296
This is wild.

1483
00:44:15,646 --> 00:44:17,283
The ceremony itself was beautiful.

1484
00:44:17,573 --> 00:44:19,143
During family photos, she repeatedly

1485
00:44:19,143 --> 00:44:20,853
pulled my husband, wait, I wanna stop.

1486
00:44:21,143 --> 00:44:22,379
The ceremony itself was beautiful.

1487
00:44:22,409 --> 00:44:22,649
Okay.

1488
00:44:22,649 --> 00:44:23,879
I'm glad she was able to like,

1489
00:44:24,499 --> 00:44:25,879
hold her shit for a minute

1490
00:44:25,879 --> 00:44:27,619
and not do anything wild.

1491
00:44:27,929 --> 00:44:28,989
so we're gonna pause on that.

1492
00:44:28,989 --> 00:44:30,610
I'm really glad she, the bride in the

1493
00:44:30,610 --> 00:44:31,840
groom were able to have a beautiful

1494
00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:33,310
ceremony and enjoy themselves.

1495
00:44:33,700 --> 00:44:34,870
All right, back to the drama.

1496
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,256
During family photos, she

1497
00:44:36,256 --> 00:44:37,606
repeatedly pulled my husband away

1498
00:44:37,606 --> 00:44:39,066
from me, and the photographer

1499
00:44:39,066 --> 00:44:40,806
had to stop her multiple times.

1500
00:44:41,043 --> 00:44:42,483
She also followed the other family

1501
00:44:42,483 --> 00:44:44,313
members demanding to be included in

1502
00:44:44,313 --> 00:44:46,380
their photos and made an extremely

1503
00:44:46,410 --> 00:44:48,270
inappropriate comment to one of them.

1504
00:44:48,620 --> 00:44:49,470
where's the line?

1505
00:44:49,530 --> 00:44:51,870
Because it's been crossed so many times.

1506
00:44:52,193 --> 00:44:54,620
It's gotta be like, we're at 20 times now.

1507
00:44:55,130 --> 00:44:56,303
at what point do we kick

1508
00:44:56,303 --> 00:44:57,293
someone out like this?

1509
00:44:57,580 --> 00:44:58,940
this is literally just a

1510
00:44:59,030 --> 00:45:00,170
energy sucker like this.

1511
00:45:00,170 --> 00:45:00,980
She's a vampire.

1512
00:45:00,980 --> 00:45:03,260
She's literally just taking all the

1513
00:45:03,260 --> 00:45:04,730
positive vibes and energy outta the room.

1514
00:45:05,083 --> 00:45:07,003
I feel so bad for couples that

1515
00:45:07,003 --> 00:45:08,593
get married with someone like this

1516
00:45:08,593 --> 00:45:10,483
because they're quite literally

1517
00:45:10,676 --> 00:45:11,918
taking all the joy outta the day.

1518
00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:13,203
Like, I'm glad they had their

1519
00:45:13,203 --> 00:45:15,153
beautiful ceremony, but this woman

1520
00:45:15,153 --> 00:45:17,133
is exhausting to just read about.

1521
00:45:17,133 --> 00:45:20,113
I can't even imagine having to witness her

1522
00:45:20,406 --> 00:45:22,566
in person complaining about everything,

1523
00:45:22,566 --> 00:45:24,066
making everything about herself.

1524
00:45:24,256 --> 00:45:25,370
Nothing is good enough.

1525
00:45:25,653 --> 00:45:27,723
she's competing with the new wife.

1526
00:45:27,723 --> 00:45:28,983
Like, come on.

1527
00:45:29,570 --> 00:45:31,406
throughout the reception, she shot us

1528
00:45:31,406 --> 00:45:33,206
dirty looks and interrogated guests

1529
00:45:33,206 --> 00:45:35,203
about why they were invited when we

1530
00:45:35,203 --> 00:45:37,630
were leaving, she approached me not to

1531
00:45:37,630 --> 00:45:40,830
apologize, but to discuss gift logistics.

1532
00:45:41,226 --> 00:45:42,250
Gift logistics.

1533
00:45:42,250 --> 00:45:42,970
What does that mean?

1534
00:45:43,523 --> 00:45:44,753
I told her it was a tomorrow

1535
00:45:44,753 --> 00:45:45,983
problem and walked away.

1536
00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:47,400
Early in our relationship,

1537
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:48,240
I had no backbone.

1538
00:45:48,530 --> 00:45:50,473
That changed after she attacked my mother.

1539
00:45:50,670 --> 00:45:51,713
Since then, I had no

1540
00:45:51,713 --> 00:45:52,883
issue standing up to her.

1541
00:45:53,206 --> 00:45:54,780
I later learned she deliberately

1542
00:45:54,780 --> 00:45:56,490
blocked doors during cleanup,

1543
00:45:56,720 --> 00:45:58,786
refusing to help because she said

1544
00:45:58,786 --> 00:46:00,556
she'd been told she wasn't needed.

1545
00:46:00,816 --> 00:46:03,300
A few days later, I posted sneak peeks

1546
00:46:03,493 --> 00:46:05,833
photos of my husband and me, my parents,

1547
00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:07,723
my bridesmaids, and one with his dad.

1548
00:46:08,003 --> 00:46:09,726
The next morning, another family member

1549
00:46:09,726 --> 00:46:12,686
sent my husband vicious messages saying

1550
00:46:12,686 --> 00:46:14,966
we shouldn't have invited them at all.

1551
00:46:15,263 --> 00:46:17,460
We had debated revoking their imitations,

1552
00:46:17,703 --> 00:46:19,995
but decided to give them one last chance.

1553
00:46:20,873 --> 00:46:22,973
So why is a family member sending

1554
00:46:22,973 --> 00:46:24,443
the husband mean things, saying

1555
00:46:24,443 --> 00:46:25,703
they shouldn't have been invited?

1556
00:46:26,046 --> 00:46:29,673
Are we talking about the mom and her?

1557
00:46:29,973 --> 00:46:31,773
Whatever family member is being awful.

1558
00:46:32,210 --> 00:46:32,471
Okay.

1559
00:46:32,706 --> 00:46:34,266
It's been a month since the wedding

1560
00:46:34,526 --> 00:46:35,923
and people are still telling me

1561
00:46:35,923 --> 00:46:37,573
new stories about their behavior.

1562
00:46:37,850 --> 00:46:39,460
Since those messages, we

1563
00:46:39,460 --> 00:46:41,230
haven't heard from them at all.

1564
00:46:41,593 --> 00:46:42,036
Okay.

1565
00:46:42,353 --> 00:46:43,103
I don't know who his

1566
00:46:43,103 --> 00:46:44,063
other family member is.

1567
00:46:44,063 --> 00:46:45,233
I'm guessing it's the one that

1568
00:46:45,233 --> 00:46:46,673
was like teaming up with the mom

1569
00:46:46,673 --> 00:46:47,843
being rude to the bridesmaid.

1570
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:49,370
they were just saying, oh, we

1571
00:46:49,370 --> 00:46:50,660
shouldn't have been invited because

1572
00:46:50,660 --> 00:46:52,040
she didn't post pictures with them.

1573
00:46:52,245 --> 00:46:53,516
That's what I'm kind of getting from it.

1574
00:46:53,888 --> 00:46:55,585
This was longer than I intended,

1575
00:46:55,585 --> 00:46:57,235
but honestly it was cathartic.

1576
00:46:57,521 --> 00:46:59,085
There's so much more that's happened,

1577
00:46:59,231 --> 00:47:00,735
but those were the major highlights,

1578
00:47:00,735 --> 00:47:02,175
especially leading up to the wedding.

1579
00:47:02,451 --> 00:47:03,728
Here's hoping there's a lot less

1580
00:47:03,728 --> 00:47:05,828
contact by the time we try for kids.

1581
00:47:06,111 --> 00:47:08,121
I would say no contact.

1582
00:47:08,421 --> 00:47:10,491
I'm not a no contact person, obviously,

1583
00:47:10,491 --> 00:47:12,148
like I can only speak from my own

1584
00:47:12,148 --> 00:47:13,935
personal experience, I shouldn't

1585
00:47:13,935 --> 00:47:15,225
say I'm not a no contact person.

1586
00:47:15,255 --> 00:47:18,735
I believe if you and your gut are

1587
00:47:18,765 --> 00:47:20,625
fully uncomfortable or people seem

1588
00:47:20,625 --> 00:47:22,451
dangerous around you, or people are

1589
00:47:22,451 --> 00:47:23,771
constantly putting you down and you

1590
00:47:23,771 --> 00:47:25,241
don't be around them, no contact,

1591
00:47:25,241 --> 00:47:26,711
absolutely low or no contact.

1592
00:47:26,935 --> 00:47:28,075
What I meant is like, I'm not

1593
00:47:28,075 --> 00:47:28,885
always just telling people

1594
00:47:28,885 --> 00:47:30,265
like, no contact, no contact.

1595
00:47:30,531 --> 00:47:31,495
This story.

1596
00:47:31,815 --> 00:47:32,968
If you are bringing kids into the

1597
00:47:32,968 --> 00:47:34,468
mix, it's only gonna get worse.

1598
00:47:34,468 --> 00:47:36,328
It's gonna get 10 times worse

1599
00:47:36,328 --> 00:47:38,038
because people like this feel

1600
00:47:38,038 --> 00:47:39,178
like kids are not people.

1601
00:47:39,475 --> 00:47:41,028
They feel like they also

1602
00:47:41,028 --> 00:47:42,408
have more of a right to them

1603
00:47:42,595 --> 00:47:44,291
because it's their DNA, right?

1604
00:47:44,291 --> 00:47:47,291
So it's her son's DNA in this child.

1605
00:47:47,518 --> 00:47:48,361
So they feel like they have

1606
00:47:48,361 --> 00:47:49,201
more of a right to them.

1607
00:47:49,478 --> 00:47:50,978
I've heard so many horror

1608
00:47:50,978 --> 00:47:53,358
stories about grandparents.

1609
00:47:53,675 --> 00:47:55,415
Again, I'm very lucky that my in-laws

1610
00:47:55,415 --> 00:47:56,885
and my parents are not like this.

1611
00:47:57,135 --> 00:47:58,981
so I'm gonna keep reiterating like I'm

1612
00:47:58,981 --> 00:48:00,631
not speaking from personal experience.

1613
00:48:00,892 --> 00:48:02,705
But before this, before what I do

1614
00:48:02,705 --> 00:48:04,668
now, I worked for a mom and baby

1615
00:48:04,668 --> 00:48:07,011
company and I managed a Facebook

1616
00:48:07,011 --> 00:48:09,438
group of moms over 50,000 moms.

1617
00:48:09,438 --> 00:48:12,628
And I would hear wild stories of how

1618
00:48:12,868 --> 00:48:15,561
toxic in-laws or toxic parents would come

1619
00:48:15,561 --> 00:48:19,128
in and say things to their grandkids.

1620
00:48:19,415 --> 00:48:20,418
They would try to show

1621
00:48:20,418 --> 00:48:22,141
up at the, hospital room.

1622
00:48:22,425 --> 00:48:24,615
They would just be aggressive.

1623
00:48:24,615 --> 00:48:26,791
So think all these things,

1624
00:48:26,791 --> 00:48:27,931
but worse with kids.

1625
00:48:28,091 --> 00:48:30,761
so I would definitely get on

1626
00:48:30,761 --> 00:48:31,626
the same page with your husband.

1627
00:48:32,355 --> 00:48:34,656
It sounds like he is now, but early

1628
00:48:34,656 --> 00:48:35,946
on I'm like, why is he letting the

1629
00:48:35,946 --> 00:48:37,416
mom stay with you guys for a week?

1630
00:48:37,476 --> 00:48:38,496
What's going on here?

1631
00:48:38,836 --> 00:48:39,640
and get on the same page

1632
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:41,110
about boundaries with kids.

1633
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:41,470
Okay?

1634
00:48:41,470 --> 00:48:42,700
If we're gonna have kids, are we

1635
00:48:42,700 --> 00:48:44,000
gonna let people in the hospital room?

1636
00:48:44,238 --> 00:48:45,686
Are we gonna let visitors come

1637
00:48:45,686 --> 00:48:46,886
by the first couple weeks?

1638
00:48:47,142 --> 00:48:49,403
Are we gonna let your mom watch the baby?

1639
00:48:49,775 --> 00:48:50,463
I would say no.

1640
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:53,150
and you need to follow some accounts

1641
00:48:53,150 --> 00:48:55,130
that are really good about showcasing

1642
00:48:55,130 --> 00:48:56,330
this and showcasing boundaries.

1643
00:48:56,622 --> 00:48:57,806
But, hey, it's Janelle

1644
00:48:57,806 --> 00:48:59,126
Marie is a really good one.

1645
00:48:59,126 --> 00:49:00,686
She talks about like toxic,

1646
00:49:00,766 --> 00:49:02,026
in-laws when you have kids and

1647
00:49:02,026 --> 00:49:03,256
like setting up those boundaries.

1648
00:49:03,502 --> 00:49:04,666
But one thing that she said, I'm

1649
00:49:04,666 --> 00:49:06,316
gonna butcher how she exactly said

1650
00:49:06,316 --> 00:49:08,206
it, but she said something about,

1651
00:49:08,515 --> 00:49:10,960
if you can't respect me as a person,

1652
00:49:11,192 --> 00:49:13,033
why should I allow my child near you?

1653
00:49:13,373 --> 00:49:14,517
Grandparents like that trying

1654
00:49:14,517 --> 00:49:15,777
to get rights to the kids.

1655
00:49:15,777 --> 00:49:16,977
And it's like, well if you're not

1656
00:49:16,977 --> 00:49:18,746
gonna respect me, their mother or

1657
00:49:18,807 --> 00:49:20,424
you talk badly about the mother,

1658
00:49:20,780 --> 00:49:22,641
you have no access to this child.

1659
00:49:22,983 --> 00:49:26,967
So hoping you guys are able to maybe

1660
00:49:27,027 --> 00:49:28,557
even get therapy though, the two

1661
00:49:28,557 --> 00:49:29,907
of you guys to kind of figure out

1662
00:49:29,907 --> 00:49:31,317
what boundaries you need to set.

1663
00:49:31,623 --> 00:49:34,094
But I can say from personally, someone

1664
00:49:34,094 --> 00:49:35,564
talking to me like this and acting

1665
00:49:35,564 --> 00:49:37,197
this way on my wedding day would have

1666
00:49:37,197 --> 00:49:39,807
very low, if not no contact with me.

1667
00:49:40,157 --> 00:49:42,827
' cause she just took all this joy.

1668
00:49:43,094 --> 00:49:44,897
She cannot stand that you are more

1669
00:49:44,897 --> 00:49:47,554
important to your husband than she is.

1670
00:49:47,554 --> 00:49:49,414
And so she was seeing what she

1671
00:49:49,414 --> 00:49:50,764
could do to take from that joy.

1672
00:49:51,074 --> 00:49:52,674
So the best thing to do.

1673
00:49:53,214 --> 00:49:54,856
Show her how happy you guys are.

1674
00:49:54,856 --> 00:49:57,109
Show that you pay no mind to her drama

1675
00:49:57,367 --> 00:49:59,469
and keep that contact low, but your

1676
00:49:59,469 --> 00:50:00,699
husband has to be on the same page

1677
00:50:00,699 --> 00:50:03,126
because if you say no contact, and then

1678
00:50:03,126 --> 00:50:04,896
he's still sneaking off and seeing her.

1679
00:50:05,077 --> 00:50:06,072
I don't know if he was, I'm not

1680
00:50:06,072 --> 00:50:07,512
trying to make stuff up, but

1681
00:50:07,804 --> 00:50:09,149
that can cause an issue, right?

1682
00:50:09,149 --> 00:50:09,779
So you need to be on the

1683
00:50:09,779 --> 00:50:11,279
same page, especially if you

1684
00:50:11,279 --> 00:50:12,749
want to have kids together.

1685
00:50:13,147 --> 00:50:14,352
Alright guys, that was a lot.

1686
00:50:14,574 --> 00:50:16,076
If there's updates, I'm gonna reach out

1687
00:50:16,076 --> 00:50:17,426
to her and see if there's any updates

1688
00:50:17,426 --> 00:50:19,016
and we can kind of talk more about that.

1689
00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:21,189
But you guys just, I cannot

1690
00:50:21,189 --> 00:50:22,269
say this enough, get on the

1691
00:50:22,269 --> 00:50:23,199
same page with your partner.

1692
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:25,209
So many times I feel like it's hard

1693
00:50:25,209 --> 00:50:27,336
because when it is that person's parent,

1694
00:50:27,551 --> 00:50:29,106
they see them from a different viewpoint.

1695
00:50:29,372 --> 00:50:31,906
but it also helps when their spouse

1696
00:50:31,906 --> 00:50:33,466
or their partner is like, Hey,

1697
00:50:33,782 --> 00:50:35,296
they acted this way towards me.

1698
00:50:35,509 --> 00:50:37,256
They treated me this way because you

1699
00:50:37,256 --> 00:50:38,666
now need to stand up for your partner.

1700
00:50:38,956 --> 00:50:40,336
you chose to marry them, right?

1701
00:50:40,426 --> 00:50:40,881
So you need to.

1702
00:50:41,566 --> 00:50:42,616
Stand up for that partner

1703
00:50:42,646 --> 00:50:44,629
and set healthy boundaries.

1704
00:50:44,916 --> 00:50:47,756
If someone keeps crossing the line, we

1705
00:50:47,756 --> 00:50:49,196
don't have to invite them to the wedding.

1706
00:50:49,516 --> 00:50:51,766
she sounds very toxic, very hurtful.

1707
00:50:52,046 --> 00:50:53,192
and just kind of gross.

1708
00:50:53,472 --> 00:50:54,392
That's gross behavior.

1709
00:50:54,662 --> 00:50:55,742
That's all I have to say about that.

1710
00:50:56,109 --> 00:50:56,312
All right.

1711
00:50:56,312 --> 00:50:56,822
Lemme know what you guys

1712
00:50:56,822 --> 00:50:57,662
think in the comments.

1713
00:50:58,157 --> 00:50:59,439
here we go.

1714
00:50:59,824 --> 00:51:01,459
Now let's get into some weekly

1715
00:51:01,459 --> 00:51:03,859
confessions and then that's

1716
00:51:03,859 --> 00:51:04,819
all we got for you this week.

1717
00:51:05,039 --> 00:51:07,132
this was a long episode you guys, I kinda

1718
00:51:07,132 --> 00:51:08,572
lose track of when I started recording.

1719
00:51:08,799 --> 00:51:09,116
Okay.

1720
00:51:09,286 --> 00:51:11,666
Confessions, DIY confessions editions.

1721
00:51:11,666 --> 00:51:12,386
What went wrong?

1722
00:51:12,386 --> 00:51:13,166
What fell apart?

1723
00:51:13,166 --> 00:51:15,236
What do you wish you hired out instead?

1724
00:51:15,539 --> 00:51:17,209
I remember the years of DIY weddings.

1725
00:51:17,209 --> 00:51:18,199
I mean, I think they're still kind

1726
00:51:18,199 --> 00:51:20,389
of there, but I was a part of, and

1727
00:51:20,389 --> 00:51:22,159
I helped with a lot of DIY weddings.

1728
00:51:22,476 --> 00:51:24,206
Some were turned out great, some turned

1729
00:51:24,296 --> 00:51:25,946
out actually absolutely beautiful.

1730
00:51:26,609 --> 00:51:27,659
We were so exhausted by

1731
00:51:27,659 --> 00:51:28,769
the actual wedding day.

1732
00:51:29,119 --> 00:51:30,169
and you don't always save a lot of money.

1733
00:51:30,169 --> 00:51:30,979
You think you're gonna save a lot

1734
00:51:30,979 --> 00:51:32,832
of money, but you don't always.

1735
00:51:33,279 --> 00:51:33,759
Alright.

1736
00:51:34,092 --> 00:51:36,309
I did flowers for my brother.

1737
00:51:36,639 --> 00:51:37,989
They were beautiful, but

1738
00:51:37,989 --> 00:51:39,519
now I want to do more.

1739
00:51:39,579 --> 00:51:40,449
Oh, that's a good one.

1740
00:51:40,749 --> 00:51:41,169
I love that.

1741
00:51:41,552 --> 00:51:43,346
Hey, maybe you can start a side business.

1742
00:51:43,346 --> 00:51:44,216
Maybe you should do that.

1743
00:51:44,486 --> 00:51:46,562
If you enjoy doing flowers, so many

1744
00:51:46,562 --> 00:51:47,762
brides would hire out for that.

1745
00:51:48,012 --> 00:51:49,749
the flowers that I borrowed from a

1746
00:51:49,749 --> 00:51:52,159
friend, she, I think spent, I don't

1747
00:51:52,159 --> 00:51:53,329
know, we both were talking about like,

1748
00:51:53,329 --> 00:51:54,889
she got married six months before me.

1749
00:51:55,126 --> 00:51:56,152
Her quote was like four

1750
00:51:56,152 --> 00:51:57,412
or $5,000 per flowers.

1751
00:51:57,412 --> 00:51:59,002
My quote that I got was like three or

1752
00:51:59,002 --> 00:52:01,082
four, and I was like, I just can't.

1753
00:52:01,157 --> 00:52:02,987
Uh, flowers are not that important to me.

1754
00:52:03,289 --> 00:52:05,067
So she made these silk flowers.

1755
00:52:05,067 --> 00:52:06,417
She ordered silk flowers, and then she

1756
00:52:06,417 --> 00:52:08,397
made the bouquets and they were gorgeous.

1757
00:52:08,457 --> 00:52:09,597
I'll try sharing a picture on

1758
00:52:09,597 --> 00:52:10,617
social media at some point.

1759
00:52:10,944 --> 00:52:11,947
never thought I would do fake

1760
00:52:11,947 --> 00:52:13,267
flowers in a million years.

1761
00:52:13,327 --> 00:52:14,737
in fact, when my mom brought up

1762
00:52:14,737 --> 00:52:16,944
fake flowers, I rolled my eyes.

1763
00:52:17,177 --> 00:52:18,437
I rolled my eyes, and now I'm

1764
00:52:18,437 --> 00:52:20,544
eating my words because they turned

1765
00:52:20,544 --> 00:52:22,524
out great and I saved $4,000.

1766
00:52:22,927 --> 00:52:24,004
So you should start a business.

1767
00:52:24,481 --> 00:52:25,901
I let my sister be the dj.

1768
00:52:26,197 --> 00:52:27,494
Our first dance had a short

1769
00:52:27,494 --> 00:52:28,754
ad in the middle of the song.

1770
00:52:29,154 --> 00:52:29,934
Yeah.

1771
00:52:30,084 --> 00:52:31,254
I didn't know.

1772
00:52:31,561 --> 00:52:32,971
ads played in the middle of the song.

1773
00:52:33,294 --> 00:52:34,304
That's when it's worth, if

1774
00:52:34,304 --> 00:52:35,684
you're saving money on a dj,

1775
00:52:35,914 --> 00:52:38,177
at least pay for ad free music.

1776
00:52:38,721 --> 00:52:40,311
Our DJ was the worst.

1777
00:52:40,371 --> 00:52:42,231
He showed up an hour late and

1778
00:52:42,231 --> 00:52:43,611
didn't bring a microphone and

1779
00:52:43,611 --> 00:52:46,268
played music like the Thriller.

1780
00:52:46,564 --> 00:52:48,118
I don't even like Michael Jackson.

1781
00:52:48,358 --> 00:52:49,888
We should have just used a playlist.

1782
00:52:50,261 --> 00:52:50,688
yeah.

1783
00:52:50,748 --> 00:52:52,218
Was this actually a DJ or did you

1784
00:52:52,218 --> 00:52:53,748
just find someone like on Craigslist?

1785
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:56,681
No offenses to  Craigslist, DJs just

1786
00:52:56,681 --> 00:52:58,108
saying, yeah, let's make sure they're in

1787
00:52:58,108 --> 00:53:00,268
actual like business before hiring them.

1788
00:53:00,647 --> 00:53:02,408
I ended up looking like a zombie

1789
00:53:02,408 --> 00:53:03,758
on my wedding day due to stress.

1790
00:53:03,758 --> 00:53:05,228
This is what I was just talking about.

1791
00:53:05,524 --> 00:53:07,405
I've done a couple of DIY weddings

1792
00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:10,765
where it's like all hands on deck.

1793
00:53:10,987 --> 00:53:12,151
We're up super early in the

1794
00:53:12,151 --> 00:53:13,651
morning, super late at night.

1795
00:53:13,945 --> 00:53:15,920
I was a bridesmaid for a couple of them.

1796
00:53:16,405 --> 00:53:18,775
By the time the wedding comes, you

1797
00:53:18,775 --> 00:53:20,905
are just exhausted and you wanna be in

1798
00:53:20,905 --> 00:53:23,065
bed by 9:00 PM but it's not possible.

1799
00:53:23,394 --> 00:53:24,438
So that was one thing, like when

1800
00:53:24,438 --> 00:53:25,488
I got married, I was like, I

1801
00:53:25,488 --> 00:53:26,598
don't want my bridesmaid to feel

1802
00:53:26,598 --> 00:53:27,648
like they're working for me.

1803
00:53:27,648 --> 00:53:28,698
I want them to be up there

1804
00:53:28,698 --> 00:53:30,448
as like royalty, part of

1805
00:53:30,448 --> 00:53:31,876
the squad, So that's hard.

1806
00:53:32,146 --> 00:53:33,496
You kind of have a, do your checks and

1807
00:53:33,496 --> 00:53:35,116
balances of what's most important for you.

1808
00:53:35,444 --> 00:53:35,729
Okay.

1809
00:53:36,079 --> 00:53:37,999
last one made my own invitations.

1810
00:53:37,999 --> 00:53:39,349
And looking back it looked

1811
00:53:39,349 --> 00:53:41,652
hideous invitations.

1812
00:53:41,682 --> 00:53:43,362
There's such a span of invitations.

1813
00:53:43,362 --> 00:53:44,262
I know people that spent

1814
00:53:44,292 --> 00:53:45,612
thousands on invitations and I

1815
00:53:45,612 --> 00:53:46,812
was like, that's not my thing.

1816
00:53:47,162 --> 00:53:48,006
You can literally go to

1817
00:53:48,006 --> 00:53:49,326
Canva again, not sponsored.

1818
00:53:49,326 --> 00:53:50,316
You can go to Canva and there's

1819
00:53:50,316 --> 00:53:52,146
like pre-designed ones and you

1820
00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:53,256
can like change out names and

1821
00:53:53,256 --> 00:53:54,952
stuff and just get them printed.

1822
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:56,720
I think I did, Zola, Zola.

1823
00:53:56,720 --> 00:53:57,710
You can order invitations through.

1824
00:53:57,710 --> 00:53:58,310
I did that.

1825
00:53:58,567 --> 00:53:59,810
They beautifully designed ones and

1826
00:53:59,810 --> 00:54:00,800
you just kinda like type it in.

1827
00:54:01,027 --> 00:54:02,187
And then I just moved stuff around.

1828
00:54:02,788 --> 00:54:04,108
You can save money invitations

1829
00:54:04,108 --> 00:54:05,158
and just do one of those.

1830
00:54:05,158 --> 00:54:06,478
You can do Zazzle for invitations.

1831
00:54:06,478 --> 00:54:08,098
I've done Zazzle for a lot of things.

1832
00:54:08,445 --> 00:54:11,216
yeah, you just have to like be really know

1833
00:54:11,216 --> 00:54:13,780
your strengths and know your talents and

1834
00:54:13,780 --> 00:54:15,580
then things that you're not the best at

1835
00:54:15,842 --> 00:54:18,350
either hire out, ask a friend for advice.

1836
00:54:18,578 --> 00:54:20,460
There's a lot of helpful things out there.

1837
00:54:20,550 --> 00:54:22,230
It's just a quick little Google search.

1838
00:54:22,588 --> 00:54:22,978
All right.

1839
00:54:23,158 --> 00:54:24,508
That's all we got for this week.

1840
00:54:24,858 --> 00:54:26,258
Thank you guys for hanging out with me.

1841
00:54:26,258 --> 00:54:27,758
I know this was a long episode,

1842
00:54:27,758 --> 00:54:28,988
but you guys love the drama.

1843
00:54:29,282 --> 00:54:30,662
I wanna know what your guys' take

1844
00:54:30,662 --> 00:54:32,395
is on the first story for sure.

1845
00:54:32,628 --> 00:54:33,968
I mean, just gimme your take

1846
00:54:33,968 --> 00:54:35,458
on everything, but especially

1847
00:54:35,458 --> 00:54:36,958
that first one with Bridezilla.

1848
00:54:37,282 --> 00:54:38,733
I wanna help this bride.

1849
00:54:38,968 --> 00:54:40,040
Is she being a bridezilla?

1850
00:54:40,258 --> 00:54:41,513
What things would you tone back?

1851
00:54:41,712 --> 00:54:42,630
What do you agree with?

1852
00:54:42,630 --> 00:54:43,560
What do you disagree with?

1853
00:54:43,853 --> 00:54:44,593
are her bridesmaids

1854
00:54:44,593 --> 00:54:45,373
being a little too much?

1855
00:54:45,373 --> 00:54:46,633
Are they being a little too picky?

1856
00:54:46,942 --> 00:54:48,093
Sharing the comments below.

1857
00:54:48,343 --> 00:54:50,003
if you are listening to the podcast

1858
00:54:50,003 --> 00:54:51,960
on your phone, you can go to YouTube.

1859
00:54:51,960 --> 00:54:53,400
We always post the full episode.

1860
00:54:53,400 --> 00:54:54,780
We do post highlights as well.

1861
00:54:54,780 --> 00:54:56,427
Um, and don't forget, we are doing

1862
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:58,977
our big anniversary giveaway as well.

1863
00:54:59,222 --> 00:55:00,863
So all you need to do is

1864
00:55:00,863 --> 00:55:03,953
comment on this episode or last

1865
00:55:03,953 --> 00:55:05,093
week's and comment entered.

1866
00:55:05,093 --> 00:55:06,950
We're gonna check all of them during

1867
00:55:06,980 --> 00:55:08,780
the giveaway as long as you say entered.

1868
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:10,800
we will enter you into the giveaway.

1869
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,120
Make sure you subscribe to YouTube.

1870
00:55:12,120 --> 00:55:14,620
Subscribe to the podcast on Apple

1871
00:55:14,922 --> 00:55:16,683
or Spotify, wherever you listen.

1872
00:55:16,773 --> 00:55:17,927
And, you'll be entered.

1873
00:55:18,329 --> 00:55:19,137
Hi guys, thanks so much for

1874
00:55:19,137 --> 00:55:20,577
listening, and I'll see you next time.

1875
00:55:20,667 --> 00:55:21,027
Bye now.