All right, so it's been a minute since

I have put anything out, just me by

myself, and I wanted to do this in 2026.

For a multitude of reasons.

I wanted to start a podcast where

parents could go and just learn.

I know I do a lot of social media where

I'm giving tips and tricks, but the thing

with those is they're only like a minute

or two long, and then in the comment

section, sometimes it gets really heated

and you know you're in the weeds and

you don't know what advice is, right?

So I thought, why not just come

on here, start a podcast where

this will just be an extension.

Of my social media.

And so this will be a longer version

of all of those little clips and

those videos that you save and those

videos that you forward to people.

This will be the place to come to

ask your parenting plan questions

and hopefully get them answered.

And so to kick this off with episode one

of probably thousands, we are going to

talk about the clauses that you do not

want to have in your parenting plan.

Do not sign this shit if it's

written in your parenting plan.

And we're gonna get into what they

are and we're gonna get into why.

But I need you to hear me.

This is your future with your kids.

It's nobody else's.

It is literally you as a single

parent going into being a lone

ranger, raising these children.

And what you will end up

following is said, parenting plan.

If said parenting plan is written piss

poorly, meaning it has all the things

we're gonna talk about today, you are

going to be paralyzed with either having

to go back to court or spend money to

go back to mediation, or the worst case

scenario, have your ex run your life.

So here's the thing that pressures

people into it right away of signing

these parenting plans is let me

know, has your attorney said, Hey, I

need to know your answer by Friday.

I need you to read this and let me

know by Friday if it's good for you.

Like, are you serious?

We've been going through this divorce for

a year and you're giving me three days

to look this over so you feel pressure

to just hurry up and sign, but you don't

even know what the hell you're signing.

Right?

Or how about this whole idea

that your attorney's like, oh,

you know, don't worry about it.

Just go ahead and sign it.

You know, we'll fix it later.

This is the way they all are.

This is a standard plan.

That word standard will haunt you if

you sign these clauses into action

because the damage doesn't show up.

The day you sign.

damage doesn't even

show up two weeks later.

Could, it's going to show up months or

heavy, heavy, heavy on the weeks later.

And that's the frustrating part, is

that you're just at this horrible

point in your life where you're

like, I just want fucking divorce.

I just wanna be done.

I just want it over.

I just want to get away from this person.

you don't realize this parenting

plan is going to follow you and haunt

you for months and years to come if.

It has these clauses in it.

So I'm telling you right now,

a standard plan will fail you.

Now I build custom plans.

I'm not here to hide that.

that's what I sell.

I sell custom parenting plans,

but this whole channel is going

to be about educating you so you

know what not to sign, and quite

possibly how to build it yourself.

But a standard plan will fail you

because it's written by people.

Who aren't in your life, they're written

by attorneys or lawyers or both, or

hell, they've been on the shelf for

25 years using the same standard plan.

It's out of touch with reality.

It's out of touch with

what your kids are doing.

It's out of touch with, oh, I don't

know, your co-parenting dynamic,

but they lead you to believe that

this is a standard plan and this

is as good as you're gonna get.

So you might as well just read

it, understand it, and sign it.

And hell, the understanding

part, they might not even say.

They might just say, sign

it, and here we are stuck.

We want the standard plan or we're

forced to have the standard plan.

The courts are putting their own

language in there, but there's actually

no intention of it actually being

usable, and we'll get into how that is.

But high conflict, people love them.

A standard plan.

They love it.

Why?

Because they can dominate

you into making you believe.

It reads how it benefits them.

They love that.

So again, it's a big lie that

we're told as parents we're

told this is standard language.

Every parenting plan has

this I call bullshit.

I've been doing this over 10 years.

I have read well over thousands of plans

produced by attorneys and court systems,

and I'm here to tell you the honest truth.

They suck.

The reason I call my channel

the ugly truth of divorce.

'cause I'm gonna tell you, it is

fucking ugly what is out there?

It's ugly on what we pay.

It's ugly on how we feel and it's

ugly on what they think we should be

living by as a standard of paperwork.

It's ugly.

And here's the thing that they

tell you, they say, you know,

don't worry about it, Sam.

We can change that verbiage later.

I wish for all of you that are

new here, I call horrible lawyers.

Larry.

I wish Larry the lawyer, understood that.

I'm smart now.

I know when you say, oh,

we'll change it later.

It's so simple.

No it's not.

Larry, I'm gonna have to hire

another attorney, I'm gonna

have to pay the retainer again.

I'm gonna have to file

the motion to modify.

I'm gonna have to maybe go to mediation

again and last time I checked,

none of those things are free.

So this isn't as easy as just sign it.

Sign the standard even though it might not

fit my personality, my ex's personality,

my job, their job, my kids, the lives,

the money, the dynamic, the distance.

It doesn't fit, but it's standard.

So, hey, we should sign it and

don't worry, we can fix it later.

Like it's no big deal.

That is the problem is that us

as parents, we didn't understand

what all that meant, right?

we get rushed through, hurry

up and read this in three days.

It's standard and they make you feel

bad because you question things.

They make you feel bad

because you want detail.

They make you feel bad because

you're asking a lot of questions and.

What surprises me though is like, don't

they realize this is our future, not

theirs, and we just gave them tens of

thousands of dollars to make sure our

future is protected, but yet they're

rushing us through and making us feel so

silly and so stupid for asking questions.

It blows my mind.

So let's dive in.

I'm just gonna give them to you.

And again, there's variations of these.

I want you to know that if you read

anything like these inside of your

parenting plan that was produced

by an attorney or online, or a

mediator or a court system run.

Don't sidestep, run, refuse.

Don't do it.

Now again, I'm just a mom

who's certified in divorce

coaching, high conflict emphasis.

I can't give you legal advice,

but what I can give you is a

lot of fucking common sense.

And the ugly truth of it is they're gonna

want you to do this because they want you

to come back because they want your money.

I don't know if you're absolutely

new here, but here's the deal.

The family court system is a business,

billions and billions of dollars every

year goes into the family court system.

So why not have you think that

you just signed the best standard

plan in the state, only to have it

completely blow up in your face two

months later, and you have to what?

Call the very expensive

professionals again.

So let's get into it.

What are the five clauses?

That if they are in here are

gonna cause you so many problems.

First one.

Decision making parties shall

share joint legal decision making

authority regarding all major

decisions affecting the minor child.

Oh, now I'm just gonna tell you right

now, we're gonna break all five of

these down in later episodes, so stay

tuned and subscribe Parenting time.

Parenting time shall be exercised

as the parties mutually agree based

on the best interest of the child.

Oh, it sounds so warm and fuzzy when

you know nothing about divorce or

co-parenting, but as a veteran sitting

here, that sentence makes me want to

vomit because we have so many, I'm not

even gonna get different perspectives.

Let's go.

Keep going.

Communication.

The party shall maintain open and direct

communication regarding the minor child.

Now again, if I'm a bothered parent,

I'm worried about my children.

I'm hearing that I'm

going communicate great.

It says that we have to communicate.

That's awesome.

In an episode three or four, I'm

gonna blow your mind as to why

that's gonna be the biggest problem.

In a high conflict co-parenting journey,

shared expenses, let's get into it.

The parties shall share equally

all reasonable and necessary

expenses for the minor child.

Now, again, you may be reading

that going, Sam, it nails it.

It says, I'm responsible.

They're responsible.

Let's fucking go.

We both have to pay.

I'm gonna tell you in later episodes

how that sentence is going to make

you financially broke because you will

have to cover it all because your ex

won't cover shit because that sentence

allows them to not pay for anything.

I'm getting pissed off just

talking about this because.

I think it's unfair for those of

you that are going into this and you

have all these great ambitions of

like, I hired a professional, Sam,

I hired the best attorney in town.

They were referred.

They were referred, and then

you're like, well, wait a second.

Mine has that sentence.

Why did they do that to me?

Because who do you gotta call

when you ask a question to your

ex? You gotta call your attorney.

When you're unclear about

where they're coming from,

how do they read it like that?

I didn't read it like that.

Let's get into the last one.

Enforcement slash modification.

Any future disputes shall be resolved

by the parties in good faith through

mediation prior to court involvement.

So right here it tells you you're

gonna have to do mediation, which

last time I checked is not for free.

So you're having to pay.

So why are these clauses so dangerous?

They sound fair and cooperative, right?

They sound like Sam.

I have to.

They have to.

Sure.

That's the way it sounds.

But there's nothing in any of those

sentences that are measurable.

There's nothing in those

sentences saying they have to.

That word shall hate it.

Hate it.

It doesn't mean we have to, so right from

the word reading this, there's a power

imbalance because I read it like, yes,

best interest of the child, let's go.

They read it as doesn't say, I have

to, just says Maybe I don't think

it's the best interest of the child.

It will end up favoring one party

over the other dramatically.

If you know, you know, and that's

why you're here, to figure out

how do I change these words?

How do I make these clauses not exist?

What do I do?

And again, to reiterate,

do not sign things.

This is not legal advice.

This is common sense.

You rush through and sign something that

includes one of those five or all five of

those clauses, you might as well go get a

third job or a fourth job or sell a kidney

because you are gonna be spending so much

money going back to court to argue what

those sentences mean and or you're just

gonna roll over and let your ex run your

life because you can't afford to go back.

So who does this impact the most?

You listening?

You listening, there's a

reason you guys come to me.

There's a reason why you tune in.

It's because I'm speaking your language.

I know your life.

I have lived it myself, but I know it

like the back of my hand because the past

10 years have been helping everybody and

their brother through their high conflict

divorce and co-parenting journey, and all

of my clients deal with a high conflict X.

And so when you have someone like this.

Who is just extreme high conflict.

They benefit from these standard clauses.

They benefit from this language because

they're not wrong when they say they don't

have to because that's how they read it.

But I read it that we do, but

there's nothing definitive in it.

There's nothing saying they

have to do those things.

So it's important that if you

value your piece, you don't

have these clauses in there.

If you want flexibility,

sure, keep 'em in there.

And sometimes your ex will

agree and sometimes they won't.

But you're also somebody that's trusting

the system way too much, because if you

think a billion dollar system has your

best interest at heart, they don't.

They don't.

So you're here to protect yourself.

So what do you do before you sign?

First and foremost, slow down.

When your attorney says three days,

I gotta know in three days and sign

this, I would say, Hey, remember that

one time I called you on a Tuesday

and said, call me back this week and

I didn't hear from you for two weeks.

Is it that type of urgency, Larry?

Or how about that time that I was

literally locked outta my house and you

didn't answer the phone and I had to

call the police and that was the wrong

thing to do, and you yelled at me.

Is it that kind of urgency

that we're speaking of?

So slow down when they say three

days, say, well, that's not

possible because here's the deal.

Number one, I have a full-time job.

Number two, I have my kids

all three of those days.

And number three, I value my sleep

and my sanity and my workouts.

I don't have time until next week

when I don't have my children.

So tell the other side, whatever

you need to tell them, but I'm

gonna push this back till next week.

Do not be a yes man or

woman to your own attorney.

Read the plan.

If I do not build your parenting

plan, and this is the first time

you've ever heard from me, number

one, go take my masterclass so you

can learn everything on speed version.

Just go through it in three hours,

but this podcast will break them down.

the deal with this is you have to read

your parenting plan from your Larry

or from your attorney, or from your

mediator and read it with your glasses on.

From your perspective, your view of the

kids, your view of life, your financial

view, your views on co-parenting.

You read it as you, and then what you have

to do, and so many of you won't do this.

I hope you will now that you're

hearing it, but you have to take

those glasses off and read it as your

ex who most likely is high conflict

or will be at some point in time.

Mark my words.

That's the ugly truth of it.

It always gets uglier

before it gets better.

But read the whole damn thing from

their perspective, knowing who they

are, knowing that they're manipulative,

knowing that they lie, knowing that they

hide, knowing that they don't like you.

So then you have to go through each thing

and go, okay, how can I enforce that?

Is that measurable?

Which we're gonna break them

all down in episodes to come.

So I built this podcast for you, which

ironically is for the former me all

those years ago, 20 some years ago.

When I started my divorce, I didn't

know what the hell I was doing,

but I hired a really good attorney.

So I thought it was cost me a lot of

money, had to go borrow the money to get

divorced, and I put that money down and I

kind of walked away thinking she had it.

She had it under control.

Fast forward years later, when we finally

went through court, eight days worth.

I got a parenting plan 90 days later.

I was so excited over those four pages.

So excited.

I was divorced.

I got my name back.

I got a plan.

I thought I was divorced.

All that money I was done and

then I tried to use, said fucking

plan, and it was worthless.

It didn't say anything.

It needed to say.

It didn't have details.

Literally all it was was a piece of

paper saying, call that guy again.

Work with him some more.

He's your co-parent.

Go hang out with him.

Go engage with him.

Go share your kids.

Go share money.

Go to, there was no measurable

anything in those four pages.

So before you sign, take off your glasses,

put their glasses on and read it as them.

Especially if they don't like you.

So in the next episode, we are going

to break down decision making two a

t on making sure you understand what

it should say, and I'm gonna give you

some things of what it shouldn't say.