1
00:00:00,315 --> 00:00:01,035
Hi Jubilee.

2
00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:02,505
Thank you so much for coming on.

3
00:00:02,985 --> 00:00:04,815
Oh, thank you so much for having me.

4
00:00:04,975 --> 00:00:06,704
I'm so excited to have you on.

5
00:00:06,704 --> 00:00:09,193
I follow your content pretty regularly,

6
00:00:09,274 --> 00:00:12,449
and someone had sent me your wild.

7
00:00:12,577 --> 00:00:13,657
Maid of honor story.

8
00:00:13,657 --> 00:00:15,607
But before we get to that, I want

9
00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:17,077
you just to introduce yourself,

10
00:00:17,214 --> 00:00:19,019
talk about what you share on social

11
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,729
media, all that good stuff, and then

12
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,343
we'll get into, your wild story.

13
00:00:22,974 --> 00:00:23,064
Yeah.

14
00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:24,474
I am Jubilee Dawn.

15
00:00:24,474 --> 00:00:26,664
I share on TikTok and Instagram, and

16
00:00:26,664 --> 00:00:28,794
I have two podcasts and I share a lot

17
00:00:28,794 --> 00:00:30,389
about religious deconstruction, so

18
00:00:30,954 --> 00:00:33,024
I talk a lot about purity culture.

19
00:00:33,319 --> 00:00:35,029
Crazy youth pastor stories.

20
00:00:35,029 --> 00:00:37,309
And then also I've done many story times

21
00:00:37,309 --> 00:00:38,959
about the maid of honor situations.

22
00:00:39,919 --> 00:00:40,399
Okay.

23
00:00:40,399 --> 00:00:40,909
I love it.

24
00:00:40,909 --> 00:00:40,999
Yeah.

25
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:42,109
All healing stuff.

26
00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:43,447
okay, so what are your two

27
00:00:43,447 --> 00:00:45,757
podcasts and how do you find

28
00:00:45,757 --> 00:00:46,897
the time to do two podcasts?

29
00:00:46,897 --> 00:00:47,966
I'm like, with one, I'm

30
00:00:47,966 --> 00:00:48,656
just like, oh my God.

31
00:00:48,656 --> 00:00:50,726
It's, a lot of times

32
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:51,858
I honestly don't even

33
00:00:51,858 --> 00:00:52,818
know how I'm doing it.

34
00:00:52,818 --> 00:00:54,828
I just went part-time, thank goodness.

35
00:00:54,865 --> 00:00:55,885
cause I still have a job.

36
00:00:55,885 --> 00:00:56,905
Job Okay.

37
00:00:56,905 --> 00:00:58,405
On top of doing content.

38
00:00:58,405 --> 00:01:01,966
But, my podcast that I do like, my main

39
00:01:01,966 --> 00:01:03,916
podcast, I would say is Heel Dish, and

40
00:01:03,916 --> 00:01:06,406
that's where I do any survivor stories.

41
00:01:06,406 --> 00:01:08,176
And yeah, I have an editor,

42
00:01:08,176 --> 00:01:09,706
so that helps for that one.

43
00:01:10,011 --> 00:01:11,301
And then my other podcast

44
00:01:11,301 --> 00:01:12,471
is the Overshare Hour.

45
00:01:12,471 --> 00:01:14,931
And on that one we do advice.

46
00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,791
So it's an advice column podcast,

47
00:01:16,791 --> 00:01:18,021
and it's with my best friend.

48
00:01:18,326 --> 00:01:20,456
We both joined religious cults at

49
00:01:20,456 --> 00:01:23,816
the age of 17 and 18 and she actually

50
00:01:23,816 --> 00:01:26,036
married my brother and they are

51
00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:27,806
have since divorced, but her and

52
00:01:27,806 --> 00:01:29,756
I are still best friends, so Wow.

53
00:01:30,086 --> 00:01:32,396
Yeah, she's also a content creator, so

54
00:01:32,396 --> 00:01:34,856
we have a lot of fun on that one as well.

55
00:01:34,856 --> 00:01:36,896
And then we like switch off editing

56
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:39,176
those, but yes, I feel very busy.

57
00:01:39,716 --> 00:01:40,406
I love that.

58
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,538
So were you guys friends before

59
00:01:42,538 --> 00:01:44,938
she married your brother or that

60
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,708
kind of made you guys connect?

61
00:01:46,990 --> 00:01:49,090
I knew her from youth group, so I met her

62
00:01:49,090 --> 00:01:52,341
when I was 14 and I think she was 15 and

63
00:01:52,341 --> 00:01:54,141
she started to date my brother, but we

64
00:01:54,171 --> 00:01:56,181
became friends through their relationship,

65
00:01:56,181 --> 00:01:58,404
so they were together for about 10 years

66
00:01:58,404 --> 00:02:00,504
and she is the mother to my two nieces.

67
00:02:00,504 --> 00:02:02,064
So I mean, she's family, she's

68
00:02:02,064 --> 00:02:03,114
always involved.

69
00:02:03,114 --> 00:02:03,504
Yes.

70
00:02:03,504 --> 00:02:04,704
Yeah, she'll always be there.

71
00:02:04,839 --> 00:02:05,341
I love that.

72
00:02:05,341 --> 00:02:07,526
I love when you like get connected,

73
00:02:07,526 --> 00:02:08,666
through marriage, whether it works

74
00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:09,806
out or not, and then you just like

75
00:02:09,836 --> 00:02:11,371
find your person and you're like your

76
00:02:11,371 --> 00:02:12,661
best friend, so that's awesome that.

77
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,956
You have that outlet too, to be able

78
00:02:14,956 --> 00:02:17,147
to like, give advice and share stories.

79
00:02:17,147 --> 00:02:17,927
I love that you're using your

80
00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:20,027
platform for that because it's such

81
00:02:20,027 --> 00:02:21,317
an important thing to highlight.

82
00:02:21,317 --> 00:02:22,992
So many people have, stories

83
00:02:22,992 --> 00:02:24,991
of youth group or how, they

84
00:02:25,256 --> 00:02:26,786
grew up, I guess you wanna say.

85
00:02:26,786 --> 00:02:28,213
But yeah, I think it's really important.

86
00:02:29,023 --> 00:02:29,303
Thank you.

87
00:02:29,503 --> 00:02:31,063
Yeah, I'm always shocked by the stories,

88
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:32,293
so that's like one of the main things I

89
00:02:32,293 --> 00:02:34,456
do is just read stories and, they're wild.

90
00:02:34,996 --> 00:02:36,796
So that's why I love what you do here too.

91
00:02:36,796 --> 00:02:38,386
I'm obsessed with wild stories

92
00:02:38,806 --> 00:02:39,856
and I feel like we can relate.

93
00:02:39,935 --> 00:02:41,860
It's funny because people will comment

94
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:43,330
on these stories that I share on YouTube

95
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,875
and you know, of course, like there's no

96
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:47,555
way to triple check, like if everything's

97
00:02:47,555 --> 00:02:48,785
a hundred percent true, right?

98
00:02:48,785 --> 00:02:49,685
It's through the eyes of the

99
00:02:49,685 --> 00:02:50,645
person that sent it to me.

100
00:02:50,763 --> 00:02:51,810
But I'll get comments sometimes

101
00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:52,836
when people are like, there's

102
00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:53,976
no way this can be real.

103
00:02:54,029 --> 00:02:54,846
This sounds made up.

104
00:02:54,846 --> 00:02:55,536
This is, and I'm like.

105
00:02:55,787 --> 00:02:57,437
maybe part is exaggerated,

106
00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:58,585
we don't really know.

107
00:02:58,585 --> 00:03:00,265
But the fact of the matter is these

108
00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:02,345
things happen and if we don't allow

109
00:03:02,345 --> 00:03:04,170
people to share their stories, then

110
00:03:04,170 --> 00:03:05,793
it, creates like an unsafe space.

111
00:03:05,793 --> 00:03:07,369
So I feel like opening the doors up

112
00:03:07,369 --> 00:03:08,959
to be like, Hey, this happened to me.

113
00:03:09,186 --> 00:03:10,476
And it allows other people to share

114
00:03:10,476 --> 00:03:12,096
their stories, to relate or be

115
00:03:12,096 --> 00:03:13,746
like, wow, that was really weird

116
00:03:13,746 --> 00:03:15,126
because someone did that to me too,

117
00:03:15,287 --> 00:03:16,877
and now I can stand up for myself.

118
00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:17,636
And I think there's so

119
00:03:17,636 --> 00:03:19,286
much power in storytelling.

120
00:03:19,598 --> 00:03:20,618
No, absolutely.

121
00:03:20,618 --> 00:03:22,268
And I get comments like that too,

122
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,168
where people will be like, there's

123
00:03:23,168 --> 00:03:24,578
no way these stories are real.

124
00:03:24,741 --> 00:03:26,421
And I'm like, well go to the comments

125
00:03:26,421 --> 00:03:28,131
and see the five other people that said

126
00:03:28,131 --> 00:03:29,661
that the exact same thing happened in

127
00:03:29,661 --> 00:03:31,527
their, church or wherever they grew up.

128
00:03:31,527 --> 00:03:34,077
I mean, no, it's real for sure.

129
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:34,557
Yes.

130
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,087
Crazy things do happen.

131
00:03:36,429 --> 00:03:37,089
It's so wild.

132
00:03:37,089 --> 00:03:40,361
So jumping into wild stories, you, and

133
00:03:40,361 --> 00:03:41,981
this is like the first time I think

134
00:03:41,981 --> 00:03:44,021
I saw your content was when you were

135
00:03:44,021 --> 00:03:46,449
talking about your maid of honor conned

136
00:03:46,449 --> 00:03:48,759
you at your own wedding, which is

137
00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:50,679
just shocking in that sentence alone.

138
00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:52,633
so let's just dive in.

139
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,823
What happened, and I'll probably

140
00:03:54,823 --> 00:03:56,143
just ask questions along the way.

141
00:03:56,173 --> 00:03:57,793
'cause this is just shocking for

142
00:03:57,793 --> 00:03:59,533
many people to like, comprehend.

143
00:03:59,827 --> 00:04:00,362
Yeah.

144
00:04:00,418 --> 00:04:01,905
I feel like a lot of questions that

145
00:04:01,905 --> 00:04:03,975
people have when I say that is, oh, she

146
00:04:03,975 --> 00:04:05,968
must have been someone new in your life.

147
00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:07,078
'cause you know, sometimes you hit

148
00:04:07,078 --> 00:04:08,368
it off with somebody and you ask them

149
00:04:08,368 --> 00:04:09,598
to be in your wedding after like a

150
00:04:09,598 --> 00:04:11,611
year, you know, that was not the case.

151
00:04:11,611 --> 00:04:13,471
So I was actually close with

152
00:04:13,471 --> 00:04:15,991
her for 17 years and 15.

153
00:04:16,291 --> 00:04:16,741
Wow.

154
00:04:16,741 --> 00:04:16,861
Yeah.

155
00:04:17,371 --> 00:04:18,751
So we became best friends

156
00:04:18,751 --> 00:04:21,151
when I was 12 and she was 19.

157
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,337
which is weird in hindsight, but.

158
00:04:23,651 --> 00:04:25,571
At the time, I just thought I was mature

159
00:04:25,601 --> 00:04:28,344
for my age and, basically we're connected.

160
00:04:28,344 --> 00:04:32,299
I try to be vague because, I just try to

161
00:04:32,299 --> 00:04:34,489
be vague about how I know her, but yes.

162
00:04:34,609 --> 00:04:34,789
Yeah.

163
00:04:34,852 --> 00:04:37,162
yeah, I knew her for 17 years.

164
00:04:37,162 --> 00:04:38,542
She was always my best friend.

165
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:41,212
I am divorced, so I also got divorced

166
00:04:41,212 --> 00:04:42,682
because of a Walt Disney World Burger.

167
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,662
That's like another crazy story

168
00:04:44,692 --> 00:04:46,162
because of a Walt Disney burger.

169
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:46,966
Yes.

170
00:04:46,966 --> 00:04:49,576
my ex he was very abusive and okay.

171
00:04:49,576 --> 00:04:51,946
He got very mad when I shared a bite of

172
00:04:51,946 --> 00:04:54,706
my burger with my cousin at Disney World.

173
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:55,765
and I didn't even give

174
00:04:55,765 --> 00:04:56,845
him the burger to buy it.

175
00:04:56,845 --> 00:04:59,875
I took a fork and gave him a bite of it,

176
00:05:00,019 --> 00:05:02,539
and my ex said that that was disrespectful

177
00:05:02,539 --> 00:05:04,429
to him as the man at the table.

178
00:05:05,061 --> 00:05:06,141
it was so crazy.

179
00:05:06,201 --> 00:05:06,621
Was this the

180
00:05:06,621 --> 00:05:08,571
first red flag or the final red flag?

181
00:05:08,721 --> 00:05:09,951
The final red flag.

182
00:05:09,951 --> 00:05:12,307
And thankfully I think it made me.

183
00:05:12,421 --> 00:05:14,581
Address the situation for the first

184
00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,981
time because family members witnessed

185
00:05:16,981 --> 00:05:19,194
it and he ended up threatening to strain

186
00:05:19,194 --> 00:05:22,164
me in Florida and it was like a huge

187
00:05:22,164 --> 00:05:23,514
fight in the middle of Disney World.

188
00:05:23,514 --> 00:05:24,684
Like those viral videos that

189
00:05:24,684 --> 00:05:25,644
you see of people fighting in

190
00:05:25,644 --> 00:05:27,114
Disney, it's like so cringey.

191
00:05:27,114 --> 00:05:29,151
That was absolutely the case.

192
00:05:29,301 --> 00:05:30,021
Oh my god.

193
00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:32,901
Um, so yeah, after he was abusive,

194
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:34,971
after that I finally ended up leaving.

195
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:38,061
So this best friend who I call

196
00:05:38,061 --> 00:05:39,700
Crystal, she was my maid of

197
00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:41,470
honor for that wedding as well.

198
00:05:41,470 --> 00:05:43,668
So I just really didn't think

199
00:05:43,668 --> 00:05:45,018
that there was anything I needed

200
00:05:45,018 --> 00:05:46,008
to be worried about with her.

201
00:05:46,008 --> 00:05:48,618
Obviously after 17 years you really

202
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:51,255
think you know someone, but all that

203
00:05:51,255 --> 00:05:53,295
to say on the wedding day, there was a

204
00:05:53,295 --> 00:05:56,834
situation where her husband had said, I

205
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:58,994
want to be the bartender for the wedding.

206
00:05:59,162 --> 00:06:01,172
he said, this will be our gift to you.

207
00:06:01,172 --> 00:06:03,302
I really want to bartend, because he was

208
00:06:03,302 --> 00:06:05,732
like a very big drinker and he was always.

209
00:06:06,167 --> 00:06:06,887
Making drinks.

210
00:06:06,887 --> 00:06:08,187
And it was also gonna be

211
00:06:08,187 --> 00:06:09,267
at a family member's house.

212
00:06:09,267 --> 00:06:10,407
So it's not like we were at a

213
00:06:10,407 --> 00:06:12,447
venue, it was at my grandma's house.

214
00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:13,017
Right.

215
00:06:13,317 --> 00:06:16,242
So as the night is going on, he had

216
00:06:16,242 --> 00:06:19,062
told me how much alcohol to buy and it

217
00:06:19,062 --> 00:06:20,352
seemed like the right amount of alcohol.

218
00:06:20,352 --> 00:06:22,902
I mean, I bought a lot of wine, a

219
00:06:22,902 --> 00:06:25,452
lot of tequila, and it wasn't a huge

220
00:06:25,452 --> 00:06:27,896
wedding, it was maybe 80 people.

221
00:06:28,106 --> 00:06:28,376
Mm-hmm.

222
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,974
So throughout the night, my maid of

223
00:06:30,974 --> 00:06:32,864
honor crystal ended up coming up to me

224
00:06:32,864 --> 00:06:35,623
and she was like, Hey, I'm so sorry,

225
00:06:35,623 --> 00:06:37,483
but we are running out of alcohol.

226
00:06:37,783 --> 00:06:40,708
There is no more alcohol left and I can

227
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:42,808
send my husband to go get some more.

228
00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,881
And I was like, oh, well, yeah,

229
00:06:44,911 --> 00:06:46,231
definitely like go and do that.

230
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:46,891
Thank you so much.

231
00:06:46,891 --> 00:06:48,931
I so appreciate that you guys

232
00:06:48,931 --> 00:06:50,311
are willing to go and do that.

233
00:06:50,311 --> 00:06:51,541
Because it was on New Year's Eve too.

234
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,701
I wasn't even sure what would be open.

235
00:06:53,761 --> 00:06:54,061
Right.

236
00:06:54,061 --> 00:06:54,181
You know?

237
00:06:54,412 --> 00:06:55,822
so yeah, I told them that I

238
00:06:55,822 --> 00:06:57,412
would reimburse them for whatever

239
00:06:57,412 --> 00:06:58,582
they spent on this alcohol.

240
00:06:58,725 --> 00:07:00,853
So he came back, he had all of

241
00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,188
the alcohol and it was great.

242
00:07:02,188 --> 00:07:04,490
Like, I had a great time on the

243
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,500
wedding day and I didn't know

244
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:08,810
that anything weird had happened.

245
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:09,140
Mm-hmm.

246
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:13,120
So the next day we are at the airport on

247
00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:14,650
the way to our honeymoon, and I get this

248
00:07:14,650 --> 00:07:17,633
text from her and she said, Hey, I just

249
00:07:17,633 --> 00:07:21,863
wanted to let you know you owe us $373.

250
00:07:21,893 --> 00:07:24,780
I think it was, and that surprised me

251
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,550
that it was that much because I knew I had

252
00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:28,756
bought so much alcohol, for this wedding.

253
00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:30,376
But I was like, okay, sure.

254
00:07:30,592 --> 00:07:30,982
I don't know.

255
00:07:30,982 --> 00:07:32,182
What do you think about this, like

256
00:07:32,182 --> 00:07:34,192
texting the day after the wedding?

257
00:07:34,252 --> 00:07:34,942
Like I feel like

258
00:07:34,942 --> 00:07:36,142
personally I wouldn't have

259
00:07:36,442 --> 00:07:38,272
no, like, that's like, Hey, send me the

260
00:07:38,272 --> 00:07:38,542
money.

261
00:07:38,773 --> 00:07:39,373
Yes.

262
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:40,903
That's like their time.

263
00:07:41,013 --> 00:07:42,063
I feel like I wouldn't bother the

264
00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:43,385
couple right after the wedding.

265
00:07:43,718 --> 00:07:44,131
Right.

266
00:07:44,281 --> 00:07:44,731
I know.

267
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:45,781
And I'm like very good

268
00:07:45,781 --> 00:07:46,921
about paying people back.

269
00:07:46,921 --> 00:07:48,541
So, I mean, I probably would've texted

270
00:07:48,541 --> 00:07:50,314
her on my own, but I. I think if it was

271
00:07:50,314 --> 00:07:52,024
just that it wouldn't have mattered.

272
00:07:52,024 --> 00:07:53,374
But given everything I know,

273
00:07:53,374 --> 00:07:54,874
I feel like that was odd.

274
00:07:55,137 --> 00:07:57,567
So I ended up venmowing her husband,

275
00:07:57,567 --> 00:08:00,057
the money, we went on our honeymoon.

276
00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:01,077
It was great.

277
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:04,100
And when I came back I was working

278
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,721
for a family business and one of the

279
00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:09,211
things that my family had delegated to

280
00:08:09,211 --> 00:08:12,601
me was just to pay this family member

281
00:08:12,601 --> 00:08:15,031
who had dementia pay their mortgage.

282
00:08:15,254 --> 00:08:17,630
So, on top of that I was also supposed

283
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,190
to somewhat look at the credit

284
00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:20,750
card statements just to make sure

285
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,250
the balance didn't get too high.

286
00:08:22,255 --> 00:08:22,385
Mm-hmm.

287
00:08:22,610 --> 00:08:24,830
I wasn't told to look through it or

288
00:08:24,830 --> 00:08:27,170
verify purchases or anything like that.

289
00:08:27,170 --> 00:08:28,730
They just said make sure that it doesn't

290
00:08:28,730 --> 00:08:30,901
get too high to the credit limit.

291
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:31,501
Mm-hmm.

292
00:08:31,771 --> 00:08:33,551
So I'm going through it and

293
00:08:33,551 --> 00:08:34,991
I noticed that the balance

294
00:08:34,991 --> 00:08:37,181
seemed kind of high that month.

295
00:08:37,301 --> 00:08:38,861
I was like, okay, well let

296
00:08:38,861 --> 00:08:41,411
me look at what is on here.

297
00:08:41,696 --> 00:08:44,184
So as I'm looking over this family

298
00:08:44,184 --> 00:08:46,404
member's Bill, I see that there was

299
00:08:46,404 --> 00:08:48,864
an alcohol charge on our wedding day

300
00:08:48,954 --> 00:08:54,117
for $373, and that is the exact amount

301
00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:56,187
that I had paid my maid of honor.

302
00:08:56,728 --> 00:08:58,498
And I was like, wait, that

303
00:08:58,700 --> 00:09:00,612
doesn't make any sense because

304
00:09:00,762 --> 00:09:02,592
I reimbursed her husband.

305
00:09:02,622 --> 00:09:04,722
But it looks like, I mean, there's

306
00:09:04,782 --> 00:09:06,192
like my family member with dementia,

307
00:09:06,192 --> 00:09:07,722
they do not drive, they did not

308
00:09:07,722 --> 00:09:09,402
go buy this alcohol themselves.

309
00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:09,492
Right.

310
00:09:09,492 --> 00:09:10,902
Obviously someone took their card.

311
00:09:11,070 --> 00:09:11,491
Mm-hmm.

312
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,556
And people would often use this

313
00:09:13,556 --> 00:09:15,416
person's card to go pick up their

314
00:09:15,416 --> 00:09:16,886
groceries and stuff like that.

315
00:09:16,886 --> 00:09:19,087
So it would not be without outside of

316
00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:21,517
the realm of possibility that Crystal

317
00:09:21,697 --> 00:09:23,287
or her husband would have known

318
00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:26,107
where the card was to find this card.

319
00:09:26,543 --> 00:09:27,408
Because there was just a lot

320
00:09:27,408 --> 00:09:29,118
of trust in these circles that

321
00:09:29,118 --> 00:09:30,708
people would do the right thing.

322
00:09:30,708 --> 00:09:30,768
Yeah.

323
00:09:30,768 --> 00:09:30,918
Like,

324
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,448
here, take my card and

325
00:09:32,478 --> 00:09:34,308
get groceries or, yeah.

326
00:09:34,567 --> 00:09:35,407
Yeah, exactly.

327
00:09:35,437 --> 00:09:36,877
Because I mean, they were relying

328
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,647
on people to take care of them and

329
00:09:38,647 --> 00:09:40,027
pay their bills, and we all kind

330
00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:42,600
of had our own responsibilities.

331
00:09:42,660 --> 00:09:44,520
So mine was the mortgage and

332
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,800
that, but all sorts of people

333
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:47,970
were helping with their care.

334
00:09:48,075 --> 00:09:50,895
So I was really confused about that.

335
00:09:50,895 --> 00:09:53,595
And I ended up going and speaking with

336
00:09:53,595 --> 00:09:55,245
another family member, the one who had

337
00:09:55,245 --> 00:09:57,495
tasked me with going through the sheet.

338
00:09:57,675 --> 00:10:00,315
And that is when he noticed, he ended

339
00:10:00,315 --> 00:10:02,355
up going through their checkbook,

340
00:10:02,415 --> 00:10:04,665
the family members who has dementia's

341
00:10:04,665 --> 00:10:07,413
checkbook, seeing that a check was written

342
00:10:07,443 --> 00:10:10,293
the day after the wedding for $500.

343
00:10:10,659 --> 00:10:12,999
And in the memo line it

344
00:10:12,999 --> 00:10:14,379
said wedding alcohol.

345
00:10:14,619 --> 00:10:16,299
So there's another check,

346
00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:19,949
another check, oh, for wedding alcohol.

347
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:22,049
And I'm like, wait, what?

348
00:10:22,095 --> 00:10:23,376
Why would they have?

349
00:10:23,436 --> 00:10:25,626
And it was to my maid of honors husband.

350
00:10:25,899 --> 00:10:26,079
It was

351
00:10:26,409 --> 00:10:27,339
directly to him?

352
00:10:27,429 --> 00:10:28,119
Yes.

353
00:10:28,345 --> 00:10:28,405
Yeah.

354
00:10:28,405 --> 00:10:29,815
Did they know, sorry if this is a

355
00:10:29,815 --> 00:10:31,555
jump in the gun, but did they know

356
00:10:31,585 --> 00:10:33,505
this couple that you managed or

357
00:10:33,505 --> 00:10:35,635
like looked at this person's money?

358
00:10:35,873 --> 00:10:37,343
they didn't think you would ever see it?

359
00:10:37,576 --> 00:10:39,136
I don't think that they knew that

360
00:10:39,136 --> 00:10:40,426
I was getting the statements.

361
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:40,906
No.

362
00:10:40,966 --> 00:10:42,196
I think they knew that I

363
00:10:42,196 --> 00:10:43,936
helped a bit with the family.

364
00:10:43,945 --> 00:10:46,890
Like I would coordinate the,  lawnmower to

365
00:10:46,890 --> 00:10:48,969
go out there and, take care of their home.

366
00:10:48,969 --> 00:10:50,109
But I don't think that they knew that

367
00:10:50,109 --> 00:10:52,298
I had access to these statements then

368
00:10:52,298 --> 00:10:53,798
they definitely didn't know that I

369
00:10:53,798 --> 00:10:56,048
would go and talk to another family

370
00:10:56,048 --> 00:10:57,938
member and be able to see that this

371
00:10:57,938 --> 00:11:00,338
check was written to Crystal's husband.

372
00:11:00,575 --> 00:11:02,246
And what was their connection?

373
00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:03,356
Crystal and her husband

374
00:11:03,356 --> 00:11:04,376
to this family member?

375
00:11:04,376 --> 00:11:06,146
Anything or just they just

376
00:11:06,146 --> 00:11:07,016
knew them through you?

377
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:08,640
I try to be vague.

378
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:08,850
Okay.

379
00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:09,355
yeah.

380
00:11:09,355 --> 00:11:11,550
But you can put two and two together.

381
00:11:12,170 --> 00:11:12,390
Yes.

382
00:11:12,530 --> 00:11:12,750
Yes.

383
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:13,190
Okay.

384
00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:13,583
Mm-hmm.

385
00:11:13,599 --> 00:11:17,169
yeah, so I was kind of very confused

386
00:11:17,169 --> 00:11:19,299
at that point because I did not know

387
00:11:19,299 --> 00:11:22,160
how else to see it because it very much

388
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,570
seemed like they had gotten reimbursed

389
00:11:23,570 --> 00:11:24,920
for something that they didn't pay for.

390
00:11:25,250 --> 00:11:25,820
Mm-hmm.

391
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,787
So I ended up texting her and I

392
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,872
said, Hey, this is what I found.

393
00:11:30,872 --> 00:11:33,812
Can you help me understand what this is?

394
00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:34,381
Mm-hmm.

395
00:11:34,430 --> 00:11:36,470
And she ended up freaking out.

396
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,662
She started blowing up my phone.

397
00:11:38,692 --> 00:11:41,392
How dare you after everything I

398
00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:43,522
have done for you, after everything

399
00:11:43,522 --> 00:11:46,748
I have done for this wedding, how

400
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,598
dare you question me, essentially.

401
00:11:49,598 --> 00:11:51,491
And, you think we need money.

402
00:11:51,551 --> 00:11:52,421
We don't need money.

403
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,551
You think that we care enough about

404
00:11:54,551 --> 00:11:57,191
$300 to do something like this?

405
00:11:57,191 --> 00:11:57,201
And.

406
00:11:57,506 --> 00:11:59,803
I kept asking, but you're not explaining.

407
00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:00,013
Yeah.

408
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:01,093
Why are you so defensive?

409
00:12:01,483 --> 00:12:03,763
You're very defensive and you're also

410
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:06,463
not explaining how that happened.

411
00:12:06,656 --> 00:12:08,006
so it was just this big blow up

412
00:12:08,006 --> 00:12:09,416
fight and then all of a sudden

413
00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:12,476
I get a Venmo from her husband

414
00:12:12,506 --> 00:12:16,226
and he sent me $500 over Venmo.

415
00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:16,586
Oh.

416
00:12:16,586 --> 00:12:18,117
So he took it because if you're not

417
00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:20,157
guilty, you're not gonna send it back.

418
00:12:20,384 --> 00:12:20,624
Yeah.

419
00:12:20,624 --> 00:12:22,244
He, which I'm like, I never even

420
00:12:22,244 --> 00:12:23,744
gave him the 500, but I think he

421
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:24,974
was just trying to make a point.

422
00:12:25,004 --> 00:12:26,594
So he ended up sending it and was

423
00:12:26,594 --> 00:12:28,435
like, here, here's this money.

424
00:12:28,435 --> 00:12:29,305
How dare you?

425
00:12:29,305 --> 00:12:30,385
You're horrible.

426
00:12:30,385 --> 00:12:32,695
And he was just very mad that

427
00:12:32,695 --> 00:12:34,285
I would dare question them.

428
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:37,795
So at that point I was just fuming and

429
00:12:37,885 --> 00:12:40,225
I don't want their money at this point

430
00:12:40,225 --> 00:12:42,415
'cause I'm like, Ugh, this is just gross.

431
00:12:42,415 --> 00:12:43,615
I don't understand what's going on.

432
00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:45,865
So I Venmo him the $500 back and

433
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,275
then I blocked him on Venmo so that

434
00:12:47,275 --> 00:12:49,435
he wouldn't keep sending me money.

435
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:51,205
they did end up paying me back a little

436
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,795
bit later on, which I'll get to, but.

437
00:12:53,117 --> 00:12:55,037
yeah, I was very confused by that and I

438
00:12:55,037 --> 00:12:57,317
started to talk to other family members

439
00:12:57,317 --> 00:13:00,388
to see what they thought and some people

440
00:13:00,388 --> 00:13:02,818
who were closer to her were kind of

441
00:13:02,818 --> 00:13:04,798
defensive and they didn't wanna see

442
00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:06,328
and they didn't wanna hear about it.

443
00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:10,199
And that was strange to me that they were

444
00:13:10,199 --> 00:13:12,329
not interested in looking at the facts.

445
00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,976
'cause I said if you guys have

446
00:13:13,976 --> 00:13:15,896
another way to see it, let me know

447
00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:17,816
because I just don't know how else

448
00:13:17,816 --> 00:13:20,186
to take this other than it seems like

449
00:13:20,186 --> 00:13:22,166
they kind of scammed to get money.

450
00:13:22,419 --> 00:13:24,527
And one thing that she did say

451
00:13:24,527 --> 00:13:26,447
was that he had used some of his

452
00:13:26,447 --> 00:13:28,808
personal alcohol on the wedding day.

453
00:13:28,887 --> 00:13:30,387
I never asked them to

454
00:13:30,507 --> 00:13:31,707
do that though, ever.

455
00:13:31,707 --> 00:13:31,797
Right.

456
00:13:31,827 --> 00:13:33,867
So basically he said, well, I

457
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:35,547
used some of my personal alcohol

458
00:13:35,547 --> 00:13:37,347
and that's why she gave me $500.

459
00:13:38,148 --> 00:13:38,687
So

460
00:13:38,807 --> 00:13:41,147
a lot of alcohol to like, yeah.

461
00:13:41,177 --> 00:13:41,687
Yeah.

462
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,379
And there was only maybe 80 people there.

463
00:13:44,436 --> 00:13:45,476
a lot of people, it was

464
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:46,312
a New Year's wedding.

465
00:13:46,312 --> 00:13:48,389
A lot of people didn't stay till midnight.

466
00:13:48,389 --> 00:13:49,469
And a lot of my family

467
00:13:49,469 --> 00:13:50,369
members don't drink.

468
00:13:50,369 --> 00:13:51,659
And also, there were a lot of

469
00:13:51,659 --> 00:13:53,099
children at this wedding, so it's

470
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:55,068
not like we were dealing  a ton

471
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,198
of heavy, like 80 heavy drinkers.

472
00:13:57,228 --> 00:13:59,528
That's not what the situation was.

473
00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:01,987
So, later on I ended up finding

474
00:14:02,184 --> 00:14:04,944
that there were over 15 bottles

475
00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:08,146
of unopened wine, which is insane.

476
00:14:08,286 --> 00:14:09,300
at my family member's

477
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:11,598
house, it was in the pantry.

478
00:14:11,598 --> 00:14:12,737
And I don't know.

479
00:14:12,767 --> 00:14:14,027
'cause she had told me that

480
00:14:14,027 --> 00:14:15,167
we had run out of alcohol.

481
00:14:15,167 --> 00:14:16,795
So I said, Hey, we didn't

482
00:14:16,795 --> 00:14:17,935
even run out of alcohol.

483
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:19,487
why did you send people off?

484
00:14:19,487 --> 00:14:20,207
And she said, well, people

485
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:21,347
didn't want that alcohol.

486
00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:23,359
and I kind of get that, but I

487
00:14:23,359 --> 00:14:24,709
also feel like we're not rich.

488
00:14:24,709 --> 00:14:27,019
And I do think that sometimes at weddings,

489
00:14:27,019 --> 00:14:28,399
you know, you see people, they'll just

490
00:14:28,399 --> 00:14:31,690
have red wine, white wine and beer and

491
00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:34,240
there was tons of beer and wine leftover.

492
00:14:34,429 --> 00:14:36,580
So it's almost like, well we just, in

493
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:38,110
theory, I don't even know if this is true,

494
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:40,900
we ran out of tequila and then he wanted

495
00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:44,409
to go buy $370 worth of other alcohol.

496
00:14:44,473 --> 00:14:46,123
I wish they would've asked me and

497
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:48,373
said, Hey, we only have wine left.

498
00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:50,546
Do you want us to go get more or

499
00:14:50,546 --> 00:14:51,780
should we just tell the guests

500
00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:52,950
that there's wine and beer?

501
00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:54,502
But anyway, I mean, it wouldn't

502
00:14:54,502 --> 00:14:55,252
have mattered that much

503
00:14:55,252 --> 00:14:56,512
if it wasn't for the scam.

504
00:14:56,695 --> 00:14:57,025
Yeah.

505
00:14:57,025 --> 00:14:57,505
So it's like they

506
00:14:57,505 --> 00:15:00,098
wanted you to reimburse them for money.

507
00:15:00,098 --> 00:15:01,598
They put on someone else's credit

508
00:15:01,598 --> 00:15:03,998
card in addition to another $500.

509
00:15:03,998 --> 00:15:06,218
So we're talking over $1,100 Now

510
00:15:06,248 --> 00:15:07,688
if I'm doing the quick math Right.

511
00:15:07,802 --> 00:15:09,032
' cause everything was added up

512
00:15:09,032 --> 00:15:09,962
and they didn't actually pay

513
00:15:09,962 --> 00:15:11,252
out of pocket for anything.

514
00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:12,487
Yeah, exactly.

515
00:15:12,487 --> 00:15:13,177
They didn't pay out of

516
00:15:13,177 --> 00:15:14,167
pocket for anything.

517
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:16,003
So this whole thing blew up.

518
00:15:16,003 --> 00:15:17,143
And then this is when

519
00:15:17,143 --> 00:15:18,793
things got really crazy.

520
00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:20,596
one of the family members who worked

521
00:15:20,596 --> 00:15:22,726
at the business who found the $500

522
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,216
payment, I was just in shock and

523
00:15:25,306 --> 00:15:27,376
wheeling and didn't know how to

524
00:15:27,376 --> 00:15:29,941
handle this and was of just wondering.

525
00:15:29,941 --> 00:15:31,441
I mean, this is my best friend in

526
00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:33,031
theory and this is my wedding day.

527
00:15:33,031 --> 00:15:34,831
I can't imagine that she would do this.

528
00:15:34,831 --> 00:15:37,111
And that is when he decided to let

529
00:15:37,111 --> 00:15:39,628
me in on the fact that this was not

530
00:15:39,628 --> 00:15:41,698
the first time that something like

531
00:15:41,698 --> 00:15:43,678
this had happened with Crystal.

532
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:44,070
Oh.

533
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,290
And it had gotten buried.

534
00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,759
So basically there was a time where

535
00:15:48,759 --> 00:15:50,589
I was living in Atlanta with my

536
00:15:50,589 --> 00:15:53,349
ex, and I was not around the family

537
00:15:53,439 --> 00:15:55,239
during the time that this all blew up.

538
00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:57,459
But basically Crystal had been living

539
00:15:57,459 --> 00:15:58,989
with this family member with dementia.

540
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,280
And she had been taking care of

541
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,200
her along with her husband, and

542
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,310
they were living in the house.

543
00:16:04,310 --> 00:16:06,300
But my, family members, they were very

544
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,980
wealthy, you know, so it's not like

545
00:16:07,980 --> 00:16:09,623
they were suffering, know, they're

546
00:16:09,623 --> 00:16:11,723
living in this giant mansion, rent

547
00:16:11,723 --> 00:16:14,003
free and taking care of them, which

548
00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:15,833
really just meant, I don't know,

549
00:16:15,863 --> 00:16:17,483
bringing them take out sometimes.

550
00:16:17,483 --> 00:16:19,721
You know, it wasn't that hard of a job.

551
00:16:19,967 --> 00:16:22,882
And apparently during a span of

552
00:16:23,152 --> 00:16:25,912
three, maybe three to four years,

553
00:16:26,002 --> 00:16:29,114
they had spent, around 300 to

554
00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:33,017
$400,000 of my family members' money.

555
00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:34,080
I know.

556
00:16:34,170 --> 00:16:36,230
And it, it's absolute insanity.

557
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:37,162
And okay.

558
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:38,902
To this day, when I confronted

559
00:16:38,902 --> 00:16:41,092
Crystal about all of this, she says,

560
00:16:41,212 --> 00:16:42,922
well, they wanted me to spend it.

561
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:44,584
they wanted me to spend this money.

562
00:16:44,584 --> 00:16:46,744
They told me to go buy whatever

563
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,823
I wanted, and absolutely not.

564
00:16:48,823 --> 00:16:49,543
There's no way.

565
00:16:50,007 --> 00:16:53,097
On top of that, she had drained every

566
00:16:53,097 --> 00:16:54,897
single one of their bank accounts.

567
00:16:55,167 --> 00:16:57,494
So my family member had had a good

568
00:16:57,494 --> 00:17:00,219
amount of money and I mean, crystal

569
00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:01,809
absolutely knew what she was doing

570
00:17:01,809 --> 00:17:03,309
because she would take every account

571
00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:05,529
to zero and then we have record that

572
00:17:05,529 --> 00:17:06,969
the checks were bouncing and then

573
00:17:06,969 --> 00:17:08,739
she would switch to the next account.

574
00:17:08,739 --> 00:17:08,829
What?

575
00:17:08,829 --> 00:17:11,019
And to the next account.

576
00:17:11,220 --> 00:17:12,930
And during this time she was

577
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:15,150
going on extravagant trips.

578
00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:18,009
they were, yeah, going on cruises.

579
00:17:18,009 --> 00:17:19,599
They were going to DC

580
00:17:19,599 --> 00:17:20,979
doing whale watching.

581
00:17:20,979 --> 00:17:23,169
He was getting new tires on his car.

582
00:17:23,380 --> 00:17:26,380
They even used my family member's card

583
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:30,580
to pay around $7,000 in taxes to the IRS.

584
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:32,170
Oh my gosh.

585
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,015
I know.

586
00:17:33,222 --> 00:17:34,725
And the thing that I'm like,

587
00:17:34,725 --> 00:17:35,775
this is nail in the coffin.

588
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,657
The same day that they put those

589
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,567
taxes on the card, they also got

590
00:17:40,568 --> 00:17:42,368
A check for almost the exact same

591
00:17:42,368 --> 00:17:44,078
amount from the family member.

592
00:17:44,214 --> 00:17:46,720
so they got paid for it twice and mm-hmm.

593
00:17:46,764 --> 00:17:48,624
I guarantee what happened was

594
00:17:48,624 --> 00:17:50,574
Crystal went to this person and

595
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,704
said, oh, we owe this money.

596
00:17:52,704 --> 00:17:55,224
I'm so stressed, would you please pay it?

597
00:17:55,224 --> 00:17:58,376
And so not only did she kind of like

598
00:17:58,406 --> 00:18:00,836
manipulate somebody who has dementia,

599
00:18:01,004 --> 00:18:03,536
she ended up actually putting it

600
00:18:03,536 --> 00:18:05,066
on the card and then taking the

601
00:18:05,066 --> 00:18:07,730
check and making money off of that.

602
00:18:07,942 --> 00:18:08,629
wild.

603
00:18:09,109 --> 00:18:10,562
Yeah, it was horrible.

604
00:18:10,562 --> 00:18:12,363
So the reason I didn't find out about this

605
00:18:12,363 --> 00:18:15,516
was there was a huge blowup where   caused

606
00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:17,815
a lot of drift in the family at the time.

607
00:18:17,815 --> 00:18:20,005
And when I was in Atlanta, I received

608
00:18:20,005 --> 00:18:23,695
this call from Crystal and she was crying

609
00:18:23,695 --> 00:18:25,465
and I mean, this is my best friend, you

610
00:18:25,465 --> 00:18:27,338
know, and you feel like you always want to

611
00:18:27,338 --> 00:18:29,168
have your best friend's back, so mm-hmm.

612
00:18:29,468 --> 00:18:31,388
She called me crying saying,

613
00:18:31,628 --> 00:18:33,248
I'm being accused of stealing.

614
00:18:33,338 --> 00:18:35,768
And I didn't do this.

615
00:18:35,768 --> 00:18:38,612
And they just see that a lot of money has

616
00:18:38,612 --> 00:18:40,322
been spent, but they don't realize that

617
00:18:40,322 --> 00:18:42,032
the reason that the credit card is so high

618
00:18:42,032 --> 00:18:43,712
is because I'm paying all of the bills.

619
00:18:43,712 --> 00:18:45,572
I'm paying the energy bill, I'm paying

620
00:18:45,763 --> 00:18:47,462
the mortgage, I'm doing all of this.

621
00:18:47,462 --> 00:18:48,932
This is why the bill seems so high,

622
00:18:48,932 --> 00:18:50,942
but nobody wants to listen to me.

623
00:18:50,947 --> 00:18:51,168
Mm-hmm.

624
00:18:51,173 --> 00:18:53,363
and they just are want

625
00:18:53,363 --> 00:18:54,473
to misunderstand me.

626
00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:57,923
And she also said, and I did spend a

627
00:18:57,923 --> 00:18:59,903
little too much at Dillard's one day.

628
00:19:00,117 --> 00:19:01,587
She said, but you know how this

629
00:19:01,587 --> 00:19:03,207
family member is, they'll tell you to

630
00:19:03,207 --> 00:19:05,847
go get anything you want sometimes.

631
00:19:05,847 --> 00:19:06,897
And I just spent too

632
00:19:06,897 --> 00:19:08,517
much one day at the mall.

633
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:10,390
but she had told me that I could.

634
00:19:10,662 --> 00:19:12,580
And honestly, that kind of tracked

635
00:19:12,580 --> 00:19:14,200
my family member was like that.

636
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:15,550
She was very giving.

637
00:19:15,610 --> 00:19:17,260
There would be times where before

638
00:19:17,260 --> 00:19:18,850
school would start, she would give me

639
00:19:18,850 --> 00:19:21,225
her card and say, I want you to go get

640
00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:24,585
at least $500 worth of school clothes.

641
00:19:24,585 --> 00:19:25,545
You know, and she was

642
00:19:25,545 --> 00:19:26,985
just a very giving person.

643
00:19:27,015 --> 00:19:28,305
But that is very different

644
00:19:28,305 --> 00:19:30,809
than three to $400,000.

645
00:19:30,886 --> 00:19:31,216
yeah.

646
00:19:31,398 --> 00:19:32,418
I can't even comprehend that.

647
00:19:33,345 --> 00:19:34,695
No, I'm like, that's an

648
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:35,925
outrageous amount of money.

649
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:37,155
And I mean, it was honestly

650
00:19:37,155 --> 00:19:38,175
just crazy spending.

651
00:19:38,175 --> 00:19:40,294
It was daily Starbucks, they had so

652
00:19:40,294 --> 00:19:43,024
many subscription, like chewy boxes.

653
00:19:43,024 --> 00:19:45,124
They had clothing subscriptions,

654
00:19:45,244 --> 00:19:46,794
getting mailed to them.

655
00:19:47,064 --> 00:19:47,394
Yeah.

656
00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:50,244
They were also getting a maid service

657
00:19:50,304 --> 00:19:51,834
get sent to their personal house.

658
00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:53,784
They eventually moved out and a

659
00:19:53,784 --> 00:19:55,194
maid was coming and cleaning their

660
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,144
house on my family member's card.

661
00:19:57,347 --> 00:19:58,667
and they eventually moved to

662
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:00,707
Baltimore for her husband's work.

663
00:20:00,707 --> 00:20:02,087
And while they were even living in

664
00:20:02,087 --> 00:20:03,827
a different state, they were still

665
00:20:04,007 --> 00:20:06,227
using her card and living off of her.

666
00:20:06,295 --> 00:20:07,975
So it was just like a matter of

667
00:20:07,975 --> 00:20:09,325
like, yeah, maybe a couple times.

668
00:20:09,325 --> 00:20:09,941
This family member, family member

669
00:20:09,941 --> 00:20:11,489
was like, yeah, you can use this to

670
00:20:11,489 --> 00:20:13,251
buy Like, use my card for whatever.

671
00:20:13,436 --> 00:20:14,901
But then it started taking advantage

672
00:20:14,901 --> 00:20:17,421
of it and like really just like taking

673
00:20:17,421 --> 00:20:19,404
it for whatever they needed and.

674
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,150
Lying, knowing that this

675
00:20:21,150 --> 00:20:22,350
person has dementia.

676
00:20:22,350 --> 00:20:23,640
Like, oh, they're not gonna realize

677
00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,384
they're not gonna look at this and then

678
00:20:25,384 --> 00:20:27,643
completely blowing up in their face.

679
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:28,670
Absolutely.

680
00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:30,200
And the reason that it finally

681
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,545
ever came out was, somebody had, or

682
00:20:33,635 --> 00:20:35,888
my family member, her husband had

683
00:20:35,888 --> 00:20:37,418
asked, can you look into our money?

684
00:20:37,418 --> 00:20:38,408
I feel like people keep

685
00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:39,428
telling us we're broke.

686
00:20:39,428 --> 00:20:40,598
People keep telling us we need

687
00:20:40,598 --> 00:20:41,768
to be careful with our money,

688
00:20:41,768 --> 00:20:43,148
but we don't leave the house.

689
00:20:43,171 --> 00:20:44,142
why are we broke?

690
00:20:44,345 --> 00:20:46,925
So finally somebody looked into it and

691
00:20:46,925 --> 00:20:48,725
then they uncovered all of this theft

692
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,795
and there was an hour long conversation

693
00:20:50,795 --> 00:20:53,105
that we actually have recorded.

694
00:20:53,225 --> 00:20:54,995
That's why I feel so safe talking

695
00:20:54,995 --> 00:20:57,287
about it too, is we have my family

696
00:20:57,287 --> 00:20:59,837
members recorded saying we never gave

697
00:20:59,837 --> 00:21:02,078
her permission to spend like that.

698
00:21:02,078 --> 00:21:03,038
We thought that she was

699
00:21:03,038 --> 00:21:04,658
only spending for us.

700
00:21:04,658 --> 00:21:07,058
We didn't understand that she was

701
00:21:07,118 --> 00:21:08,408
spending like this on the card.

702
00:21:08,408 --> 00:21:10,254
So, yeah, realizing that I had

703
00:21:10,254 --> 00:21:11,844
been lied to that entire time.

704
00:21:11,956 --> 00:21:14,613
I think because I was in Atlanta, people

705
00:21:14,613 --> 00:21:16,203
just didn't wanna get involved and tell

706
00:21:16,203 --> 00:21:18,093
me, in hindsight, I wish people had told

707
00:21:18,093 --> 00:21:20,613
me, I had no idea that it was that bad.

708
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,173
I was under the impression that,

709
00:21:22,503 --> 00:21:24,453
oh no, she went on a shopping spree

710
00:21:24,543 --> 00:21:26,163
and people are mad, but nobody

711
00:21:26,163 --> 00:21:27,983
told me, Hey, that's not true.

712
00:21:27,983 --> 00:21:31,170
Actually, she stole a lot of money

713
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,145
and it ended up coming out okay.

714
00:21:33,145 --> 00:21:34,165
Going back to the wedding.

715
00:21:34,195 --> 00:21:36,145
She also pulled another con on my

716
00:21:36,145 --> 00:21:39,190
bachelorette, so it's so ridiculous.

717
00:21:39,190 --> 00:21:40,900
Like it's just a pattern of behavior.

718
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,026
So there was another situation where we

719
00:21:43,026 --> 00:21:44,466
went to Hell, the Moon, which is this

720
00:21:44,466 --> 00:21:46,656
really fun piano bar with Bachelorette

721
00:21:47,121 --> 00:21:49,256
and it's always super packed and it's

722
00:21:49,256 --> 00:21:50,781
hard to get a table on the weekends.

723
00:21:51,038 --> 00:21:53,451
So we wanted to reserve two tables

724
00:21:53,451 --> 00:21:56,001
and I think it was around $260.

725
00:21:56,271 --> 00:21:56,361
Mm-hmm.

726
00:21:56,661 --> 00:21:57,381
And it was gonna be

727
00:21:57,381 --> 00:21:58,911
split between five girls.

728
00:21:58,941 --> 00:22:01,011
So my maid of honor Crystal had

729
00:22:01,011 --> 00:22:03,621
sent out a text saying, here is.

730
00:22:03,798 --> 00:22:04,902
How much it's gonna cost

731
00:22:04,902 --> 00:22:06,522
if everybody can Venmo me.

732
00:22:06,522 --> 00:22:08,442
I think it was around $56.

733
00:22:08,442 --> 00:22:10,542
Everybody Venmo me $56,

734
00:22:10,684 --> 00:22:12,634
for your portion of this.

735
00:22:12,806 --> 00:22:15,438
And then once I found the wedding alcohol

736
00:22:15,438 --> 00:22:17,658
scam, I started going back to all these

737
00:22:17,658 --> 00:22:20,881
other statements and I saw that that

738
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:22,831
was also on the card and that she had

739
00:22:22,831 --> 00:22:24,601
never paid for the hell at the moon.

740
00:22:24,601 --> 00:22:24,871
So she's

741
00:22:24,871 --> 00:22:26,231
trying to make money off of it.

742
00:22:26,231 --> 00:22:26,376
Yeah.

743
00:22:26,376 --> 00:22:27,391
But she didn't pay herself and she

744
00:22:27,391 --> 00:22:29,444
did, she, she made money off of all of

745
00:22:29,444 --> 00:22:32,072
my friends and family because, we sent

746
00:22:32,072 --> 00:22:34,622
her money for that and she pocketed it.

747
00:22:35,102 --> 00:22:36,914
So, it was just a pattern of behavior.

748
00:22:36,914 --> 00:22:38,294
So then we started looking into it

749
00:22:38,294 --> 00:22:40,304
even more and found out that not

750
00:22:40,304 --> 00:22:42,104
only had she done that all those

751
00:22:42,104 --> 00:22:43,784
years before, but she was still

752
00:22:43,784 --> 00:22:46,514
doing it now, not to the same degree.

753
00:22:46,514 --> 00:22:46,574
Wow.

754
00:22:46,574 --> 00:22:48,434
Because she had been caught before.

755
00:22:48,434 --> 00:22:49,334
So I think she was trying to

756
00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:50,474
be a bit more careful, but

757
00:22:50,474 --> 00:22:51,794
there were so many times where.

758
00:22:51,966 --> 00:22:53,672
For example, there was one where it

759
00:22:53,672 --> 00:22:56,252
was like zoo reimbursement and the

760
00:22:56,252 --> 00:22:58,982
receipts added up to $300 and she

761
00:22:58,982 --> 00:23:01,352
got a $400 check in reimbursement.

762
00:23:01,352 --> 00:23:02,372
So trying to get like little

763
00:23:02,372 --> 00:23:04,292
increments to like cover it up.

764
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:04,604
Yes.

765
00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:05,054
And they were

766
00:23:05,054 --> 00:23:07,570
buying gift cards that I went full

767
00:23:07,570 --> 00:23:09,160
investigator mode at this point.

768
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,660
This was my entire personality for

769
00:23:10,660 --> 00:23:12,760
about six months because I was like,

770
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:14,230
this is my friendship on the line.

771
00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:14,350
Yes.

772
00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:17,095
I wanna know what type of person this is.

773
00:23:17,095 --> 00:23:18,134
So yeah.

774
00:23:18,134 --> 00:23:19,514
Went full investigator.

775
00:23:19,514 --> 00:23:21,434
I ended up going to Walmart.

776
00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:23,264
I went to Target, I went to Lowe's,

777
00:23:23,499 --> 00:23:25,694
and I asked for receipts because I

778
00:23:25,694 --> 00:23:27,434
could see how much was being spent,

779
00:23:27,434 --> 00:23:28,994
but I didn't know what was being spent.

780
00:23:28,994 --> 00:23:29,294
Mm-hmm.

781
00:23:29,449 --> 00:23:31,124
And when I did that, I found that

782
00:23:31,124 --> 00:23:32,984
they were buying Visa gift cards.

783
00:23:33,244 --> 00:23:35,009
So it was a way for them to get

784
00:23:35,009 --> 00:23:37,797
cash and it looked like a legitimate

785
00:23:37,797 --> 00:23:41,727
purchase for groceries and it wasn't so.

786
00:23:41,892 --> 00:23:43,266
they came up with all sorts of

787
00:23:43,266 --> 00:23:45,366
creative ways to scam pretty much.

788
00:23:45,666 --> 00:23:46,866
That is wild.

789
00:23:47,046 --> 00:23:48,426
I feel like someone like that is

790
00:23:48,426 --> 00:23:50,616
always looking at opportunities to

791
00:23:50,616 --> 00:23:53,396
like con or make money off of people.

792
00:23:53,565 --> 00:23:54,233
Like as soon as you said the

793
00:23:54,233 --> 00:23:56,173
bachelorette thing, I was like, I've

794
00:23:56,173 --> 00:23:59,075
heard similar stories where people

795
00:23:59,259 --> 00:24:00,489
not quite like that where they have

796
00:24:00,489 --> 00:24:01,869
someone else's card, but it's like

797
00:24:01,869 --> 00:24:04,050
maybe it wasn't as much as they said.

798
00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:05,820
It was like maybe it was only 30 a person,

799
00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:07,650
but they're charging everyone 50 a person.

800
00:24:07,650 --> 00:24:08,610
They're like, oh, well they're

801
00:24:08,610 --> 00:24:10,110
putting in tip and all this stuff.

802
00:24:10,279 --> 00:24:11,029
that's why it's so hard

803
00:24:11,029 --> 00:24:11,869
to like trust people.

804
00:24:11,869 --> 00:24:13,159
And I'm sure that's why you kind

805
00:24:13,159 --> 00:24:14,329
of then racked your brain and

806
00:24:14,329 --> 00:24:15,649
you're like, wait, this is someone

807
00:24:15,649 --> 00:24:17,449
that's been in my life for so long.

808
00:24:17,565 --> 00:24:18,963
What else have they lied about?

809
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,664
I feel like you probably would just go

810
00:24:20,664 --> 00:24:22,134
through all these memories and being

811
00:24:22,134 --> 00:24:23,974
like, okay, what can I trust with them?

812
00:24:24,466 --> 00:24:25,456
I know, absolutely.

813
00:24:25,546 --> 00:24:26,446
That is what it was like.

814
00:24:26,446 --> 00:24:28,336
And honestly, the more I looked into

815
00:24:28,336 --> 00:24:29,896
it, like there, there's so much more,

816
00:24:29,896 --> 00:24:31,937
and it's darker, you know, that I did

817
00:24:31,937 --> 00:24:33,557
discover things about her that she

818
00:24:33,557 --> 00:24:35,876
had lied about for years and years.

819
00:24:35,876 --> 00:24:38,170
And yeah, just realizing I never

820
00:24:38,380 --> 00:24:41,620
knew her was really quite crazy.

821
00:24:41,620 --> 00:24:42,970
And she was just very defensive.

822
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,560
She refused to apologize

823
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,604
and I went to therapy.

824
00:24:46,724 --> 00:24:48,344
I wrote her, you know, 'cause

825
00:24:48,344 --> 00:24:50,311
at the time I was still a pretty

826
00:24:50,311 --> 00:24:51,811
strong Christian and I was trying

827
00:24:51,811 --> 00:24:54,031
to really believe in forgiveness.

828
00:24:54,061 --> 00:24:57,151
So I was like, okay, I'm gonna write

829
00:24:57,151 --> 00:24:59,461
her this letter with my therapist and

830
00:24:59,461 --> 00:25:01,921
I'm going to say, Hey, I could forgive

831
00:25:01,921 --> 00:25:04,166
you if you admitted all of this.

832
00:25:04,166 --> 00:25:06,026
Like, maybe you feel backed into a corner.

833
00:25:06,026 --> 00:25:07,526
Maybe you feel ashamed, maybe

834
00:25:07,526 --> 00:25:09,188
you feel all of these things.

835
00:25:09,188 --> 00:25:10,448
So I wrote her a letter and I

836
00:25:10,448 --> 00:25:11,888
said, you know, the only way I

837
00:25:11,888 --> 00:25:13,621
could ever move forward because I

838
00:25:13,621 --> 00:25:16,441
am the godmother to her son too.

839
00:25:16,441 --> 00:25:17,611
I mean, it's, wow.

840
00:25:18,061 --> 00:25:19,471
It's very sad, you know?

841
00:25:19,934 --> 00:25:21,434
I would need you to admit all of

842
00:25:21,434 --> 00:25:24,014
these things and actually apologize

843
00:25:24,044 --> 00:25:25,844
for it and stop making excuses.

844
00:25:25,874 --> 00:25:28,419
And she wrote back this very gas

845
00:25:28,419 --> 00:25:30,819
lighty letter saying, well, it's not

846
00:25:30,819 --> 00:25:32,439
my fault that I was her favorite.

847
00:25:32,701 --> 00:25:34,231
Oh my God.

848
00:25:34,261 --> 00:25:34,381
It

849
00:25:34,381 --> 00:25:35,731
was crazy.

850
00:25:35,731 --> 00:25:36,961
And it was like, oh, well you just

851
00:25:36,991 --> 00:25:38,851
don't understand her like I do.

852
00:25:38,941 --> 00:25:40,921
And I'm like, I do actually.

853
00:25:40,994 --> 00:25:41,649
I do.

854
00:25:41,739 --> 00:25:43,692
So, that's, and we have her on tape

855
00:25:43,692 --> 00:25:45,762
saying that she had no idea, never AAL

856
00:25:45,762 --> 00:25:47,742
along with her husband who didn't have

857
00:25:47,742 --> 00:25:49,812
dementia as severely as she did, you know?

858
00:25:49,812 --> 00:25:50,562
Mm-hmm.

859
00:25:50,563 --> 00:25:51,821
So, yeah, it was crazy.

860
00:25:51,911 --> 00:25:54,101
So at that point we had to cut ties

861
00:25:54,431 --> 00:25:56,501
and it's way different than like the, it's

862
00:25:56,501 --> 00:25:58,871
all bad, but it's like way different than

863
00:25:58,871 --> 00:26:02,002
like someone, you know, giving credit card

864
00:26:02,002 --> 00:26:04,162
and she going to buy some stuff and sneak

865
00:26:04,162 --> 00:26:05,722
some stuff in for herself or whatever.

866
00:26:05,854 --> 00:26:08,202
But then also blatantly lying trying

867
00:26:08,202 --> 00:26:09,852
to double up on that and being

868
00:26:09,852 --> 00:26:11,393
like, you owe me this you know,

869
00:26:11,567 --> 00:26:13,787
so it's like to never admit that.

870
00:26:13,787 --> 00:26:14,927
'cause that's, that was gonna be my next

871
00:26:14,927 --> 00:26:16,847
question is did she ever actually admit

872
00:26:17,079 --> 00:26:19,239
to like being wrong or doing something or

873
00:26:19,239 --> 00:26:21,759
she just in denial that she's innocent?

874
00:26:22,085 --> 00:26:23,765
Yeah, she basically said, well,

875
00:26:23,975 --> 00:26:26,195
she wanted me to have these things.

876
00:26:26,195 --> 00:26:27,970
And she acts very, I don't know

877
00:26:27,970 --> 00:26:28,870
if you've ever met someone like

878
00:26:28,870 --> 00:26:30,490
this who acts kind of childlike.

879
00:26:30,610 --> 00:26:32,960
They kind of play dumb, like, oh my gosh.

880
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,024
So she would just say, I'm

881
00:26:34,024 --> 00:26:35,374
just so bad with money.

882
00:26:35,554 --> 00:26:36,664
I'm so bad with money.

883
00:26:36,664 --> 00:26:38,821
And I think when I knew that that

884
00:26:38,821 --> 00:26:41,341
was not true and I absolutely knew

885
00:26:41,371 --> 00:26:43,771
that she was being diabolical,

886
00:26:43,771 --> 00:26:45,841
was when I saw that every single

887
00:26:45,841 --> 00:26:47,251
bank account had been drained.

888
00:26:47,448 --> 00:26:49,068
cause she had kind of claimed, well, I

889
00:26:49,068 --> 00:26:50,628
just thought that they were super rich.

890
00:26:50,689 --> 00:26:52,368
I thought that they were

891
00:26:52,368 --> 00:26:53,778
okay with me having this and

892
00:26:53,778 --> 00:26:55,291
that they wanted to spoil me.

893
00:26:55,431 --> 00:26:56,509
but we know that that's not

894
00:26:56,509 --> 00:26:57,679
the truth because every bank

895
00:26:57,679 --> 00:26:58,969
account was going to zero.

896
00:26:58,969 --> 00:27:00,619
And actually before they moved to

897
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:03,903
Baltimore, they specifically drained

898
00:27:04,053 --> 00:27:06,093
every single account before their move.

899
00:27:06,418 --> 00:27:08,668
So that was the final account that

900
00:27:08,668 --> 00:27:11,393
got drained it was timed to the week

901
00:27:11,393 --> 00:27:14,783
that they moved So, so calculated,

902
00:27:14,783 --> 00:27:16,463
obviously you knew what you were doing.

903
00:27:16,523 --> 00:27:17,490
And then when they moved to

904
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:18,930
Baltimore, they were still using,

905
00:27:19,027 --> 00:27:20,317
their income that would still

906
00:27:20,317 --> 00:27:22,357
come in, you know, for themselves.

907
00:27:22,357 --> 00:27:22,417
Wow.

908
00:27:22,597 --> 00:27:24,164
But yeah, no, she never

909
00:27:24,164 --> 00:27:25,683
apologized for that.

910
00:27:25,683 --> 00:27:26,643
Just saying, you know, I'm

911
00:27:26,643 --> 00:27:27,813
sorry, I'm bad with money.

912
00:27:27,897 --> 00:27:28,096
I'm,

913
00:27:28,756 --> 00:27:29,266
yeah.

914
00:27:29,666 --> 00:27:30,411
I'm like, I don't think

915
00:27:30,411 --> 00:27:31,221
that's good enough.

916
00:27:31,611 --> 00:27:33,159
You're well into your thirties,

917
00:27:33,159 --> 00:27:34,209
I'm assuming, or something,

918
00:27:34,209 --> 00:27:35,499
you know, four, maybe forties.

919
00:27:35,499 --> 00:27:36,819
But at that point, it's like you

920
00:27:36,819 --> 00:27:38,679
can't just use that as an excuse.

921
00:27:38,679 --> 00:27:40,629
You have to be able to own up to that.

922
00:27:40,629 --> 00:27:42,699
Like you're not like 15 years old

923
00:27:42,699 --> 00:27:44,049
or in elementary school, you know,

924
00:27:44,049 --> 00:27:45,554
whatever, where you're like, oh, I

925
00:27:45,554 --> 00:27:46,874
really don't understand how money

926
00:27:46,874 --> 00:27:48,074
works or how credit cards work.

927
00:27:48,074 --> 00:27:49,994
It's like, no, take responsibility.

928
00:27:49,994 --> 00:27:51,224
You know what you are doing.

929
00:27:51,550 --> 00:27:51,880
Yeah.

930
00:27:51,996 --> 00:27:53,556
But I think a lot of it came down

931
00:27:53,556 --> 00:27:55,806
to the fact that there were so many

932
00:27:55,806 --> 00:27:58,236
enablers around her, because I lost,

933
00:27:58,386 --> 00:28:00,486
and that was what went viral in my

934
00:28:00,486 --> 00:28:03,068
post, was the fact that I lost half

935
00:28:03,068 --> 00:28:05,228
of my bridal party in this situation

936
00:28:05,228 --> 00:28:06,908
because they were closely connected to

937
00:28:06,908 --> 00:28:09,638
her and they didn't even wanna hear it.

938
00:28:09,788 --> 00:28:10,958
I said, you know, I have

939
00:28:10,958 --> 00:28:12,848
binders of evidence.

940
00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:14,168
I will break down for

941
00:28:14,168 --> 00:28:15,638
you every single thing.

942
00:28:15,638 --> 00:28:17,108
And if you look at this binder and

943
00:28:17,108 --> 00:28:18,338
you look at this evidence and you

944
00:28:18,338 --> 00:28:20,528
tell me that she did nothing wrong.

945
00:28:20,952 --> 00:28:22,572
We'll agree to disagree, but

946
00:28:22,572 --> 00:28:23,742
they wouldn't even look at it.

947
00:28:23,922 --> 00:28:25,439
They said, I'm not interested

948
00:28:25,709 --> 00:28:26,729
in seeing what you have.

949
00:28:27,089 --> 00:28:27,749
That's wild.

950
00:28:27,989 --> 00:28:28,289
I know.

951
00:28:28,289 --> 00:28:29,699
And just be curious.

952
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,020
Line loyalty, was so crazy.

953
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,030
And that's when I started to realize

954
00:28:35,030 --> 00:28:37,310
that a lot of people had been profiting

955
00:28:37,460 --> 00:28:40,640
off of these family members for years.

956
00:28:40,937 --> 00:28:42,408
And it's actually, this is a

957
00:28:42,408 --> 00:28:44,190
very depressing, I mean, it's

958
00:28:44,190 --> 00:28:46,050
sad that it ended this way, but

959
00:28:46,050 --> 00:28:48,390
both of them have since passed.

960
00:28:48,450 --> 00:28:51,708
And, right before she passed away, they

961
00:28:51,708 --> 00:28:54,378
actually tried to get a fake will signed.

962
00:28:56,538 --> 00:28:58,098
Oh my gosh.

963
00:28:58,098 --> 00:28:59,148
They're ruthless.

964
00:28:59,268 --> 00:29:00,048
Ruthless.

965
00:29:00,048 --> 00:29:01,788
And it was a collaborative effort.

966
00:29:01,788 --> 00:29:04,128
It wasn't just my maid of honor

967
00:29:04,128 --> 00:29:06,048
crystal, it was these other people

968
00:29:06,048 --> 00:29:07,188
who were in my bridal party.

969
00:29:07,188 --> 00:29:08,688
They all knew about it and they're

970
00:29:08,688 --> 00:29:09,228
helping.

971
00:29:09,446 --> 00:29:10,016
Yeah.

972
00:29:10,106 --> 00:29:11,991
I mean, yeah, it was crazy.

973
00:29:11,991 --> 00:29:14,052
And in this will, they had written

974
00:29:14,052 --> 00:29:15,642
an original Will about 20 years

975
00:29:15,642 --> 00:29:17,471
ago, because they have businesses

976
00:29:17,471 --> 00:29:19,601
and it's a big deal, you know, and

977
00:29:19,601 --> 00:29:21,521
they had spent time with lawyers.

978
00:29:21,521 --> 00:29:23,261
This will was, oh my gosh, huge.

979
00:29:23,261 --> 00:29:23,351
Mm-hmm.

980
00:29:23,591 --> 00:29:24,071
Super thick.

981
00:29:24,071 --> 00:29:25,513
Will, very detailed.

982
00:29:25,695 --> 00:29:28,485
And these people, and Crystal tried

983
00:29:28,485 --> 00:29:31,485
to go and find a will off of Google.

984
00:29:31,605 --> 00:29:33,375
Like it looked so fake.

985
00:29:33,375 --> 00:29:35,727
And it was a couple pages long and

986
00:29:35,727 --> 00:29:38,697
it gave them the house and it gave

987
00:29:38,697 --> 00:29:41,878
them, I think, an extra $500,000.

988
00:29:42,208 --> 00:29:44,938
And they had her sign it when she was, so

989
00:29:45,028 --> 00:29:46,378
at that point, they actually had her sign

990
00:29:46,378 --> 00:29:46,678
it.

991
00:29:46,826 --> 00:29:49,044
They did, they brought a notary to the

992
00:29:49,044 --> 00:29:51,194
house, like, and were there lawyers,

993
00:29:51,194 --> 00:29:52,784
like, no, this is bs.

994
00:29:52,784 --> 00:29:54,104
This isn't a real thing.

995
00:29:54,944 --> 00:29:56,264
I mean, they did have a notary

996
00:29:56,264 --> 00:29:58,124
go out there and do all that, but

997
00:29:58,334 --> 00:30:00,254
they thought about that in court.

998
00:30:00,308 --> 00:30:01,748
the siblings, you know, they thought

999
00:30:01,748 --> 00:30:03,218
about in court and it got thrown out.

1000
00:30:03,218 --> 00:30:05,078
The judge was like, that's not

1001
00:30:05,078 --> 00:30:06,698
a legitimate will, especially

1002
00:30:06,698 --> 00:30:07,898
when we know she had dementia.

1003
00:30:07,898 --> 00:30:09,728
And especially when we have a very

1004
00:30:09,728 --> 00:30:11,498
legitimate, thick will over here that

1005
00:30:11,498 --> 00:30:13,568
they obviously put a lot of time into.

1006
00:30:13,868 --> 00:30:13,988
Mm-hmm.

1007
00:30:14,228 --> 00:30:16,418
And for you to have them sign it, you

1008
00:30:16,418 --> 00:30:17,995
know, you know, they really didn't fight

1009
00:30:18,205 --> 00:30:20,275
to have their will verified either.

1010
00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:23,275
They kind of realized, okay, we tried,

1011
00:30:23,275 --> 00:30:24,835
it didn't work, nobody's buying it.

1012
00:30:24,835 --> 00:30:26,035
And yeah, they dropped it.

1013
00:30:26,035 --> 00:30:27,715
But it just shows that so many

1014
00:30:27,775 --> 00:30:30,235
people we're willing to take

1015
00:30:30,235 --> 00:30:31,795
advantage of these people.

1016
00:30:31,825 --> 00:30:33,402
And, yeah, so that's how I

1017
00:30:33,402 --> 00:30:35,142
lost half of my bridal party.

1018
00:30:35,345 --> 00:30:36,515
including the person who

1019
00:30:36,515 --> 00:30:38,855
married us, which was very sad.

1020
00:30:38,975 --> 00:30:41,705
One of our groomsmen actually performed

1021
00:30:41,705 --> 00:30:43,115
the wedding because he was my best

1022
00:30:43,145 --> 00:30:45,298
friend and, We don't talk to him.

1023
00:30:45,298 --> 00:30:47,278
So we have all of these wedding

1024
00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:49,768
pictures and now half of these

1025
00:30:49,768 --> 00:30:51,238
people I don't even talk to anymore.

1026
00:30:51,493 --> 00:30:53,911
it's crazy to start off by like, the

1027
00:30:53,911 --> 00:30:55,977
maid of honor did this but it's, the

1028
00:30:55,977 --> 00:30:57,447
other people are so easily convinced.

1029
00:30:57,447 --> 00:30:58,287
'cause it's like, did she

1030
00:30:58,377 --> 00:30:59,637
promise them money too?

1031
00:30:59,637 --> 00:31:00,897
Did she promise all these things?

1032
00:31:00,897 --> 00:31:01,943
So they're like, oh, what

1033
00:31:01,943 --> 00:31:02,693
are you talking about?

1034
00:31:02,693 --> 00:31:03,113
She's great.

1035
00:31:03,113 --> 00:31:04,073
I'm not even gonna like look

1036
00:31:04,073 --> 00:31:05,633
at the evidence or the facts.

1037
00:31:05,831 --> 00:31:07,145
I feel like I'd have such a

1038
00:31:07,145 --> 00:31:09,818
hard time, trusting after that.

1039
00:31:09,908 --> 00:31:10,808
You know, it's like all these people

1040
00:31:10,808 --> 00:31:12,170
that you've like, have memories

1041
00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:13,280
with, you have relationships

1042
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,960
with and then they just like lie.

1043
00:31:15,209 --> 00:31:16,555
And we always talk about on here,

1044
00:31:16,555 --> 00:31:17,849
like how like, the focus is like

1045
00:31:17,849 --> 00:31:19,499
wedding stories and stuff like that.

1046
00:31:19,499 --> 00:31:21,568
But when you talked about how they had

1047
00:31:21,568 --> 00:31:24,109
since passed, we talk about how weddings

1048
00:31:24,109 --> 00:31:26,238
bring out, you know, people's true colors.

1049
00:31:26,238 --> 00:31:27,657
How The stress gets to people.

1050
00:31:27,657 --> 00:31:30,485
People power over, like others, you know.

1051
00:31:30,808 --> 00:31:32,398
But so do funerals.

1052
00:31:32,428 --> 00:31:34,318
Death brings out the true colors

1053
00:31:34,318 --> 00:31:35,638
in a lot of people too, because

1054
00:31:35,638 --> 00:31:37,198
they see it as dollar signs or What

1055
00:31:37,198 --> 00:31:38,548
am I gonna get from this person?

1056
00:31:38,548 --> 00:31:41,223
I think it's so sad when fights

1057
00:31:41,223 --> 00:31:43,323
happen at like funerals because

1058
00:31:43,323 --> 00:31:44,643
it's like, all they care about

1059
00:31:44,643 --> 00:31:46,134
is what did this person leave me?

1060
00:31:46,242 --> 00:31:47,707
And it's like, that's not what we

1061
00:31:47,707 --> 00:31:49,147
should be focusing on right now.

1062
00:31:49,147 --> 00:31:50,587
But someone like that, that's the

1063
00:31:50,587 --> 00:31:51,967
first thing that comes to their mind.

1064
00:31:52,339 --> 00:31:53,059
Absolutely.

1065
00:31:53,119 --> 00:31:54,589
And I mean, there were so many

1066
00:31:54,589 --> 00:31:56,613
times this made me so upset.

1067
00:31:56,613 --> 00:31:58,493
Crystal would say, she told me that

1068
00:31:58,493 --> 00:32:00,083
she wanted me to have the house.

1069
00:32:00,363 --> 00:32:02,733
And I'm like, you're not her child.

1070
00:32:02,919 --> 00:32:05,109
know, like, that's so inappropriate.

1071
00:32:05,109 --> 00:32:05,919
I don't know why you

1072
00:32:05,919 --> 00:32:06,946
think you're owed this.

1073
00:32:06,946 --> 00:32:09,466
But she really felt like she

1074
00:32:09,466 --> 00:32:10,936
was owed all of their money.

1075
00:32:11,206 --> 00:32:13,156
And she would say things to me

1076
00:32:13,156 --> 00:32:15,262
like in hindsight, I think I was.

1077
00:32:15,514 --> 00:32:16,954
You know, that's some of the darker

1078
00:32:16,954 --> 00:32:18,364
stuff, but I was groomed by her.

1079
00:32:18,364 --> 00:32:20,134
But there are things that she

1080
00:32:20,134 --> 00:32:21,424
would say growing up that I

1081
00:32:21,424 --> 00:32:23,164
start to realize were not okay.

1082
00:32:23,164 --> 00:32:25,084
Where she would say, you know, I've

1083
00:32:25,084 --> 00:32:26,434
realized if you spend time with this

1084
00:32:26,434 --> 00:32:28,054
family member, they give you more money.

1085
00:32:28,234 --> 00:32:30,124
She straight up said that to me when

1086
00:32:30,124 --> 00:32:32,365
I was younger and I understand that

1087
00:32:32,365 --> 00:32:34,370
that is her personality to do that.

1088
00:32:34,370 --> 00:32:36,410
So it was very hard going to the funeral.

1089
00:32:36,410 --> 00:32:38,935
I agree that weddings and funerals

1090
00:32:38,935 --> 00:32:40,885
really bring out that in people.

1091
00:32:40,885 --> 00:32:43,015
I had to sit in the front row and

1092
00:32:43,015 --> 00:32:46,225
watch her give a eulogy for this person

1093
00:32:46,465 --> 00:32:47,635
knowing all this.

1094
00:32:47,725 --> 00:32:48,025
Yeah.

1095
00:32:48,025 --> 00:32:50,365
We both gave eulogies and I had to

1096
00:32:50,365 --> 00:32:52,495
sit there and you know, at this point,

1097
00:32:52,615 --> 00:32:55,215
okay, well half of the people here

1098
00:32:55,215 --> 00:32:56,925
are defending 'cause they're also

1099
00:32:56,925 --> 00:32:58,905
profiting and I just have to sit here and

1100
00:32:58,905 --> 00:33:01,485
respect my family member's funeral and.

1101
00:33:01,780 --> 00:33:03,580
Try to avoid this person as

1102
00:33:03,580 --> 00:33:05,200
much as possible, but my hope

1103
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,820
is to never see her again.

1104
00:33:06,845 --> 00:33:07,575
That, yeah,

1105
00:33:08,149 --> 00:33:10,030
that was probably the last kind of

1106
00:33:10,030 --> 00:33:12,700
event that you had to both be at, right?

1107
00:33:12,790 --> 00:33:13,300
Hopefully.

1108
00:33:13,540 --> 00:33:13,810
Yeah.

1109
00:33:13,815 --> 00:33:14,055
Yeah.

1110
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,190
We live in the same city

1111
00:33:15,190 --> 00:33:16,360
though, so I get scared.

1112
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,220
I mean, when I go to Barnes and Noble

1113
00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:20,440
or when I go to places where we all

1114
00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,510
lived on the same side of town, so it

1115
00:33:22,510 --> 00:33:24,460
doesn't feel outrageous that I might

1116
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:26,410
run into some of them at some point.

1117
00:33:26,410 --> 00:33:28,060
And it does give me a lot of anxiety.

1118
00:33:28,155 --> 00:33:28,445
Yeah.

1119
00:33:28,450 --> 00:33:28,780
Yeah.

1120
00:33:28,949 --> 00:33:29,939
Because they're not happy that

1121
00:33:29,939 --> 00:33:30,959
I've shared on social media,

1122
00:33:32,249 --> 00:33:33,769
I'm sure, because people like that

1123
00:33:33,769 --> 00:33:35,870
wanna live in their, like delusions

1124
00:33:35,870 --> 00:33:37,850
that it's what they did isn't wrong.

1125
00:33:38,188 --> 00:33:39,448
and they'll convince themselves till

1126
00:33:39,448 --> 00:33:41,758
the day they die that they're not wrong.

1127
00:33:41,812 --> 00:33:43,172
they deserve what they did.

1128
00:33:43,172 --> 00:33:44,359
And it's like you said,

1129
00:33:44,359 --> 00:33:45,371
like they make up stories.

1130
00:33:45,371 --> 00:33:46,601
They're like, I deserve this house.

1131
00:33:46,601 --> 00:33:48,371
They told me I deserve the house.

1132
00:33:48,371 --> 00:33:48,971
And they're gonna keep

1133
00:33:48,971 --> 00:33:49,781
telling themselves that.

1134
00:33:49,781 --> 00:33:50,621
'cause that's what's gonna

1135
00:33:50,621 --> 00:33:52,061
make them feel good about it.

1136
00:33:52,414 --> 00:33:53,669
And I'm like, she might believe it.

1137
00:33:53,669 --> 00:33:54,029
I don't know.

1138
00:33:54,029 --> 00:33:55,349
She's so delusional.

1139
00:33:55,349 --> 00:33:56,058
I don't know.

1140
00:33:56,388 --> 00:33:58,278
I don't know what she really

1141
00:33:58,278 --> 00:34:00,302
thinks, but it's definitely wild.

1142
00:34:00,653 --> 00:34:01,193
Wow.

1143
00:34:01,454 --> 00:34:03,194
that is one of the top

1144
00:34:03,578 --> 00:34:03,878
wild

1145
00:34:03,878 --> 00:34:05,348
stories I have heard on here.

1146
00:34:05,348 --> 00:34:06,218
Oh my gosh.

1147
00:34:06,578 --> 00:34:07,508
Thanks for sharing that.

1148
00:34:07,508 --> 00:34:08,650
Oh my gosh, that's, yeah.

1149
00:34:08,710 --> 00:34:09,100
Wild.

1150
00:34:09,100 --> 00:34:09,220
It's a

1151
00:34:09,220 --> 00:34:10,240
lot for sure.

1152
00:34:10,570 --> 00:34:11,620
Well, I'm glad to hear too that

1153
00:34:11,620 --> 00:34:13,108
you've gone to like therapy

1154
00:34:13,108 --> 00:34:14,458
from it and like hopefully have

1155
00:34:14,458 --> 00:34:15,478
healed from some part of that.

1156
00:34:15,478 --> 00:34:17,008
I'm sure that's like a lot because

1157
00:34:17,174 --> 00:34:18,964
I can't imagine like someone

1158
00:34:18,964 --> 00:34:20,104
treating me like that, that you

1159
00:34:20,104 --> 00:34:21,844
had so closely in your life.

1160
00:34:22,171 --> 00:34:24,928
and so I think talking about it too and

1161
00:34:24,928 --> 00:34:26,698
sharing your story, I'm sure has helped

1162
00:34:26,908 --> 00:34:29,218
many people relate and connect as well.

1163
00:34:29,642 --> 00:34:30,427
It has because.

1164
00:34:31,049 --> 00:34:34,319
think hearing so many of their excuses

1165
00:34:34,319 --> 00:34:35,819
and them not even wanting to look at

1166
00:34:35,819 --> 00:34:37,739
it, you feel like you're going crazy.

1167
00:34:37,739 --> 00:34:39,149
I felt like I was being so

1168
00:34:39,209 --> 00:34:41,541
gaslit you guys, this is insane.

1169
00:34:41,541 --> 00:34:42,591
This is a lot of money.

1170
00:34:42,591 --> 00:34:43,671
This is not okay.

1171
00:34:43,883 --> 00:34:46,519
And sharing on TikTok and seeing

1172
00:34:46,519 --> 00:34:49,373
people defend or I don't know, back

1173
00:34:49,373 --> 00:34:51,233
me up and say, no, you're not crazy.

1174
00:34:51,233 --> 00:34:52,763
That is wild.

1175
00:34:52,763 --> 00:34:54,890
And there was like a lot of religious

1176
00:34:54,890 --> 00:34:57,050
manipulation as well from them

1177
00:34:57,050 --> 00:34:59,090
saying that I should just forgive

1178
00:34:59,090 --> 00:35:01,520
and move on without her even like

1179
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:03,950
apologizing or admitting what she did.

1180
00:35:03,980 --> 00:35:05,949
Like we just need to move on.

1181
00:35:05,949 --> 00:35:06,789
Jesus would not want

1182
00:35:06,789 --> 00:35:07,569
us to fight, you know?

1183
00:35:07,569 --> 00:35:09,401
Which, it's just crazy, you know?

1184
00:35:09,434 --> 00:35:10,994
the fact that they would like to use that.

1185
00:35:10,994 --> 00:35:11,984
And I have nothing against

1186
00:35:12,173 --> 00:35:13,094
Christians in Jesus.

1187
00:35:13,094 --> 00:35:14,264
I actually don't share what I believe

1188
00:35:14,264 --> 00:35:15,974
personally, if anyone was wondering.

1189
00:35:15,999 --> 00:35:17,234
Um, I don't know.

1190
00:35:17,234 --> 00:35:19,184
It was just crazy to see religion

1191
00:35:19,184 --> 00:35:21,314
kind of weaponized in that way.

1192
00:35:21,506 --> 00:35:23,846
So it is nice going on social

1193
00:35:23,846 --> 00:35:25,406
media and people telling me,

1194
00:35:25,406 --> 00:35:27,086
Hey, that's actually okay, that

1195
00:35:27,086 --> 00:35:28,826
you never want to see her again.

1196
00:35:28,976 --> 00:35:30,206
That is valid.

1197
00:35:30,955 --> 00:35:31,256
Yeah.

1198
00:35:31,256 --> 00:35:31,946
I feel like that's, that

1199
00:35:31,946 --> 00:35:33,476
people pleaser mentality too.

1200
00:35:33,476 --> 00:35:34,788
Like, I grew up such a people

1201
00:35:34,788 --> 00:35:36,649
pleaser because it was like, you

1202
00:35:36,649 --> 00:35:37,879
just have to forgive everybody

1203
00:35:37,879 --> 00:35:38,989
no matter how they treat you.

1204
00:35:38,989 --> 00:35:40,741
Like, and it was like, you could never

1205
00:35:40,741 --> 00:35:42,932
just be like, Nope, cut that person out.

1206
00:35:42,932 --> 00:35:43,232
No.

1207
00:35:43,232 --> 00:35:44,552
Like, they didn't mean it that way.

1208
00:35:44,552 --> 00:35:45,692
And so I would always try to

1209
00:35:45,692 --> 00:35:46,802
see the good in every person.

1210
00:35:46,802 --> 00:35:48,422
And I still, I believe in seeing the good

1211
00:35:48,422 --> 00:35:50,180
in people, but there are just some people

1212
00:35:50,180 --> 00:35:52,342
that are inherently like not good and

1213
00:35:52,424 --> 00:35:55,449
we shouldn't waste our time trying to.

1214
00:35:55,610 --> 00:35:56,870
Build them up when they're

1215
00:35:56,870 --> 00:35:58,615
just gonna be bad to us.

1216
00:35:58,615 --> 00:35:59,125
You know what I mean?

1217
00:35:59,125 --> 00:36:00,015
kind of said that kind of weird,

1218
00:36:00,015 --> 00:36:01,683
but, I feel like so much of my

1219
00:36:01,712 --> 00:36:03,562
childhood was like, no, they're good.

1220
00:36:03,562 --> 00:36:04,912
They did this and this and this to me,

1221
00:36:04,912 --> 00:36:06,262
but like, they're still a good person.

1222
00:36:06,562 --> 00:36:07,822
It's like, no, you don't

1223
00:36:07,822 --> 00:36:09,288
have to like believe that.

1224
00:36:09,383 --> 00:36:10,703
No, there are bad people.

1225
00:36:10,703 --> 00:36:12,234
I think growing up I

1226
00:36:12,234 --> 00:36:13,164
always thought that too.

1227
00:36:13,164 --> 00:36:15,564
I just thought everybody is a good person.

1228
00:36:15,564 --> 00:36:16,764
Everybody's doing their best.

1229
00:36:16,764 --> 00:36:18,444
Sometimes people make mistakes and

1230
00:36:18,444 --> 00:36:20,207
unfortunately feel like the older

1231
00:36:20,207 --> 00:36:21,947
I get, I realize, you know, there

1232
00:36:21,947 --> 00:36:23,897
are wonderful people in this world.

1233
00:36:23,957 --> 00:36:26,833
Most people are good people, I hope.

1234
00:36:26,939 --> 00:36:27,747
but there definitely are

1235
00:36:27,747 --> 00:36:28,887
people who just don't care.

1236
00:36:29,013 --> 00:36:31,113
they just really do not care.

1237
00:36:31,203 --> 00:36:32,313
And nothing brings that

1238
00:36:32,313 --> 00:36:33,303
out more than social media.

1239
00:36:33,329 --> 00:36:34,767
seeing comments and stuff.

1240
00:36:34,767 --> 00:36:36,177
I'm like, wow, there are some

1241
00:36:36,177 --> 00:36:38,067
just crazy people in this world

1242
00:36:38,067 --> 00:36:40,137
who, they just wanna hurt people.

1243
00:36:40,137 --> 00:36:42,647
And I think learning to put up

1244
00:36:42,647 --> 00:36:44,147
boundaries in a healthy way has

1245
00:36:44,147 --> 00:36:45,172
been a big part of my healing.

1246
00:36:46,291 --> 00:36:46,681
Yeah.

1247
00:36:46,741 --> 00:36:47,281
I love that.

1248
00:36:47,341 --> 00:36:48,760
That's, boundaries has been huge.

1249
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:49,922
We talk about that a lot here.

1250
00:36:51,705 --> 00:36:52,065
Okay.

1251
00:36:52,126 --> 00:36:53,776
so before we get to this week's

1252
00:36:53,858 --> 00:36:55,148
follower submission, we're gonna

1253
00:36:55,148 --> 00:36:57,140
do a little, red flag, green flag.

1254
00:36:57,140 --> 00:36:58,310
So I'm gonna read a statement,

1255
00:36:58,622 --> 00:37:00,110
this is wedding party edition.

1256
00:37:00,380 --> 00:37:01,010
And just say if it's a

1257
00:37:01,010 --> 00:37:02,360
red flag or a green flag.

1258
00:37:02,530 --> 00:37:02,860
Okay.

1259
00:37:03,017 --> 00:37:04,331
Ask if they can bring a

1260
00:37:04,331 --> 00:37:05,771
plus one you've never met.

1261
00:37:06,092 --> 00:37:06,572
Ooh.

1262
00:37:06,838 --> 00:37:07,468
oh no.

1263
00:37:07,468 --> 00:37:08,938
I'm gonna be like a yellow flag.

1264
00:37:08,938 --> 00:37:10,708
I think it depends on your relationship.

1265
00:37:10,898 --> 00:37:12,578
think if this was my best friend.

1266
00:37:12,878 --> 00:37:14,760
I would probably say maybe we

1267
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,500
could have a game night in advance.

1268
00:37:16,530 --> 00:37:18,270
That way you could meet them, you

1269
00:37:18,270 --> 00:37:19,733
know, especially if you feel like it's

1270
00:37:19,733 --> 00:37:21,233
gonna be a long-term relationship.

1271
00:37:21,233 --> 00:37:23,182
But I guess in theory, a red flag

1272
00:37:23,182 --> 00:37:25,402
if you're just a casual family

1273
00:37:25,402 --> 00:37:27,082
member or a distant friend.

1274
00:37:27,202 --> 00:37:27,502
Yeah.

1275
00:37:27,622 --> 00:37:29,452
I don't think you should bring us one.

1276
00:37:29,542 --> 00:37:29,782
Yeah.

1277
00:37:30,112 --> 00:37:30,842
Or insist on it.

1278
00:37:30,842 --> 00:37:31,087
Yeah.

1279
00:37:31,147 --> 00:37:32,572
And I feel like I've always heard too,

1280
00:37:32,572 --> 00:37:34,052
like I agree with the relationship

1281
00:37:34,052 --> 00:37:35,372
thing 'cause you kind of know like

1282
00:37:35,372 --> 00:37:36,482
how close you're with someone.

1283
00:37:36,689 --> 00:37:38,879
I've always heard like not to ask for one.

1284
00:37:39,039 --> 00:37:40,389
' I remember being invited to weddings

1285
00:37:40,389 --> 00:37:42,099
like young, like early twenties,

1286
00:37:42,099 --> 00:37:43,719
where like I wasn't dating anybody

1287
00:37:43,884 --> 00:37:44,945
and I didn't get a plus one.

1288
00:37:44,945 --> 00:37:46,055
I never would've been like,

1289
00:37:46,055 --> 00:37:47,645
Hey, can I bring a plus one?

1290
00:37:47,790 --> 00:37:49,712
And then other times I would be going

1291
00:37:49,712 --> 00:37:51,182
to a wedding, not expecting one.

1292
00:37:51,182 --> 00:37:51,782
I would get one.

1293
00:37:51,782 --> 00:37:53,102
I was like, okay, I'll ask a

1294
00:37:53,102 --> 00:37:54,699
friend or something, you know?

1295
00:37:54,699 --> 00:37:56,835
So, makes passive aggressive

1296
00:37:56,835 --> 00:37:58,965
comments about the bachelorette cost.

1297
00:37:59,289 --> 00:37:59,619
Ooh.

1298
00:37:59,619 --> 00:38:00,459
Red flag.

1299
00:38:00,639 --> 00:38:01,209
Red flag.

1300
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:03,795
I, I think if you have issues with

1301
00:38:03,855 --> 00:38:05,415
the cost or if you genuinely can't

1302
00:38:05,415 --> 00:38:07,095
afford it, there are ways to have

1303
00:38:07,095 --> 00:38:08,895
like healthy communication as far

1304
00:38:08,895 --> 00:38:11,385
as like, Hey, I'm actually broke.

1305
00:38:11,415 --> 00:38:13,215
Can I pick some of these activities?

1306
00:38:13,215 --> 00:38:14,957
And not all of them, unless you know,

1307
00:38:14,962 --> 00:38:16,612
somebody's willing to help with the cost.

1308
00:38:16,612 --> 00:38:17,392
But passive aggressive

1309
00:38:17,392 --> 00:38:18,712
comments definitely a red flag.

1310
00:38:19,114 --> 00:38:19,552
Yes.

1311
00:38:19,552 --> 00:38:20,572
Let's just communicate.

1312
00:38:20,942 --> 00:38:22,592
tries to change the vibe of

1313
00:38:22,592 --> 00:38:23,942
the bachelorette weekend.

1314
00:38:24,235 --> 00:38:25,015
Ooh, red flag.

1315
00:38:25,266 --> 00:38:25,505
Yeah.

1316
00:38:25,505 --> 00:38:26,735
I think you have to go with what the

1317
00:38:26,735 --> 00:38:29,005
bride wants, whatever their vibe is.

1318
00:38:29,174 --> 00:38:31,135
There was that guy who pulled

1319
00:38:31,135 --> 00:38:32,875
the con with the wedding alcohol.

1320
00:38:33,148 --> 00:38:34,075
He was at the Bachelorette.

1321
00:38:34,075 --> 00:38:36,235
We did a joint one, and he ended

1322
00:38:36,235 --> 00:38:37,825
up like doing this weird drinking

1323
00:38:37,825 --> 00:38:39,745
game where he took a deck of cards

1324
00:38:39,745 --> 00:38:41,575
and he would say, do you think it's

1325
00:38:41,575 --> 00:38:43,735
gonna be a red or a black card?

1326
00:38:43,855 --> 00:38:44,845
And then we would do it

1327
00:38:44,845 --> 00:38:45,925
and he'd say, wrong drink.

1328
00:38:45,925 --> 00:38:47,505
It was so weird, like We're not,

1329
00:38:47,505 --> 00:38:48,765
those kind of people we're not

1330
00:38:48,765 --> 00:38:50,565
like, take a shot kind of people.

1331
00:38:50,565 --> 00:38:52,485
And he was trying to change the

1332
00:38:52,485 --> 00:38:54,675
vibe and we were very uncomfortable.

1333
00:38:54,705 --> 00:38:55,425
So red flag,

1334
00:38:56,415 --> 00:38:57,825
you're like immediate red flag.

1335
00:38:57,885 --> 00:38:58,035
Yeah.

1336
00:38:58,215 --> 00:38:59,625
I was like, this game isn't even fun.

1337
00:39:00,021 --> 00:39:01,491
post wedding details

1338
00:39:01,491 --> 00:39:03,051
before the couple does.

1339
00:39:03,246 --> 00:39:03,466
Ooh.

1340
00:39:03,741 --> 00:39:04,191
Red flag.

1341
00:39:04,515 --> 00:39:05,385
That is for the couple.

1342
00:39:05,835 --> 00:39:06,495
Yeah.

1343
00:39:06,615 --> 00:39:09,961
I just read a story where the, bride's

1344
00:39:10,171 --> 00:39:12,299
boss announced that the girl was

1345
00:39:12,299 --> 00:39:14,847
engaged before the girl did and started

1346
00:39:14,870 --> 00:39:16,280
inviting herself to the wedding.

1347
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:17,465
I was like, I can't wait to meet this

1348
00:39:19,460 --> 00:39:21,620
very presumptuous for like a coworker

1349
00:39:21,620 --> 00:39:23,360
or boss to think that they're invited

1350
00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:24,800
because I don't think I invited

1351
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:26,625
any of my coworkers to my wedding.

1352
00:39:27,020 --> 00:39:29,030
I do mind you, I have my own office,

1353
00:39:29,030 --> 00:39:30,470
so we don't work that closely.

1354
00:39:30,470 --> 00:39:31,950
I probably would if we, you know, work.

1355
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:32,060
I

1356
00:39:32,060 --> 00:39:33,733
think it depends on the job for sure.

1357
00:39:33,733 --> 00:39:35,800
Because yeah, when I got married, my

1358
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,170
husband I think only invited one person

1359
00:39:38,170 --> 00:39:40,433
from his work because at the time was

1360
00:39:40,433 --> 00:39:42,473
a general manager of a restaurant.

1361
00:39:42,473 --> 00:39:43,951
he's like, we have way too many

1362
00:39:43,951 --> 00:39:45,511
people, some I never work with,

1363
00:39:45,511 --> 00:39:47,031
some I work with, different areas.

1364
00:39:47,268 --> 00:39:48,678
So he only invited one.

1365
00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:50,178
And then I worked in a small office where

1366
00:39:50,178 --> 00:39:52,158
we were like all close knit like family.

1367
00:39:52,307 --> 00:39:53,235
And so I invited like

1368
00:39:53,265 --> 00:39:54,735
20 with their plus ones.

1369
00:39:54,923 --> 00:39:56,708
But yeah, I think it really just

1370
00:39:56,708 --> 00:39:58,688
depends on your job and you should never

1371
00:39:58,688 --> 00:40:00,488
feel like you are gonna automatically

1372
00:40:00,488 --> 00:40:02,168
be invited to a coworker's wedding.

1373
00:40:02,198 --> 00:40:04,418
'cause just depends on your relationship.

1374
00:40:04,658 --> 00:40:06,218
And micro weddings are a thing,

1375
00:40:06,338 --> 00:40:07,808
you know, I feel like weddings

1376
00:40:07,808 --> 00:40:09,308
are getting smaller and smaller

1377
00:40:09,308 --> 00:40:10,748
because we're all broke, you know?

1378
00:40:10,785 --> 00:40:10,905
yeah.

1379
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:12,285
So I would never assume that

1380
00:40:12,285 --> 00:40:13,605
I'm being invited, even if we're

1381
00:40:13,605 --> 00:40:15,405
like decent friends, you know?

1382
00:40:15,435 --> 00:40:15,705
Yes.

1383
00:40:15,705 --> 00:40:15,800
Because who know?

1384
00:40:16,231 --> 00:40:16,651
Yeah.

1385
00:40:16,766 --> 00:40:18,566
feel like that's one thing, like in my

1386
00:40:18,596 --> 00:40:20,156
early twenties, again, when I wasn't

1387
00:40:20,156 --> 00:40:22,333
dating anyone seriously, that I did not

1388
00:40:22,333 --> 00:40:24,272
understand, like, I had friends that would

1389
00:40:24,272 --> 00:40:25,922
just get like married with just family.

1390
00:40:25,922 --> 00:40:27,092
And I was like, what?

1391
00:40:27,092 --> 00:40:27,722
I don't get it.

1392
00:40:27,722 --> 00:40:28,892
Like, ' cause every wedding I'd been

1393
00:40:28,892 --> 00:40:30,592
to were like these big weddings or

1394
00:40:30,592 --> 00:40:33,022
like, a lot of people invited and

1395
00:40:33,262 --> 00:40:34,972
you almost were like, you can't take

1396
00:40:34,972 --> 00:40:36,262
it personal 'cause you're just like,

1397
00:40:36,262 --> 00:40:37,705
no, like, my one friend that did it.

1398
00:40:37,705 --> 00:40:39,655
Like she was just never wanted

1399
00:40:39,745 --> 00:40:40,945
to be like, all eyes on me.

1400
00:40:40,975 --> 00:40:42,328
Please do not, I just wanna

1401
00:40:42,328 --> 00:40:43,528
get married and be on with it.

1402
00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:44,338
And I was like, okay.

1403
00:40:44,338 --> 00:40:45,148
That, looking back, I'm

1404
00:40:45,148 --> 00:40:46,348
like, that makes sense.

1405
00:40:46,738 --> 00:40:47,698
it's her personality.

1406
00:40:47,938 --> 00:40:48,658
Yes.

1407
00:40:48,832 --> 00:40:50,692
Mrs. The, the rehearsal, but shows

1408
00:40:50,692 --> 00:40:52,312
up hungover on the wedding day.

1409
00:40:52,612 --> 00:40:53,692
Oh, red flag.

1410
00:40:53,692 --> 00:40:54,952
That's so mean.

1411
00:40:55,205 --> 00:40:56,405
would understand if you had something

1412
00:40:56,405 --> 00:40:58,385
going on, but if you were out partying

1413
00:40:58,385 --> 00:41:00,075
instead of going to the rehearsal.

1414
00:41:00,288 --> 00:41:01,188
That's not nice.

1415
00:41:01,188 --> 00:41:02,748
And honestly, the rehearsal

1416
00:41:02,988 --> 00:41:04,368
is such a beautiful time.

1417
00:41:04,368 --> 00:41:05,208
'cause a lot of the time

1418
00:41:05,208 --> 00:41:06,588
that's when they do the toast.

1419
00:41:06,588 --> 00:41:07,968
It's very heartfelt.

1420
00:41:07,968 --> 00:41:10,128
And I would feel very sad if anybody

1421
00:41:10,128 --> 00:41:11,718
in my bridal party missed my rehearsal.

1422
00:41:12,138 --> 00:41:12,438
Yeah.

1423
00:41:12,438 --> 00:41:13,248
If they didn't have a reason.

1424
00:41:13,758 --> 00:41:14,208
Right.

1425
00:41:14,418 --> 00:41:14,958
Yeah.

1426
00:41:15,016 --> 00:41:15,976
let's see, I think we had a couple

1427
00:41:15,976 --> 00:41:17,680
that couldn't make the rehearsal

1428
00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:19,489
because of one just had a new baby

1429
00:41:19,489 --> 00:41:21,559
and then one's flight was delayed.

1430
00:41:21,651 --> 00:41:23,146
But other than that, yeah.

1431
00:41:23,146 --> 00:41:24,616
I think most everyone came.

1432
00:41:24,646 --> 00:41:25,726
And I just tell people too, I'm

1433
00:41:25,726 --> 00:41:26,686
like, it's not the end all be

1434
00:41:26,686 --> 00:41:27,976
all, like if something came up.

1435
00:41:27,976 --> 00:41:30,126
But yeah, you always try to be there.

1436
00:41:30,365 --> 00:41:31,805
turns, every group chat

1437
00:41:31,805 --> 00:41:33,695
convo back to themselves.

1438
00:41:34,270 --> 00:41:34,970
Ooh, red flag.

1439
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,085
I've known people like this

1440
00:41:37,175 --> 00:41:38,615
where it just goes back to them.

1441
00:41:38,615 --> 00:41:40,608
It's like you try so hard to

1442
00:41:40,894 --> 00:41:42,858
involve everybody in like, let's

1443
00:41:42,858 --> 00:41:44,568
talk about this person now.

1444
00:41:44,568 --> 00:41:45,498
And it's like, no.

1445
00:41:45,558 --> 00:41:47,748
It just somehow gets turned back into

1446
00:41:47,748 --> 00:41:50,028
like their life or their drama 24 7.

1447
00:41:50,573 --> 00:41:50,793
Yes.

1448
00:41:51,078 --> 00:41:51,708
Yes.

1449
00:41:52,023 --> 00:41:52,406
All right.

1450
00:41:52,406 --> 00:41:55,036
Last one, says, I'm just being

1451
00:41:55,036 --> 00:41:56,626
honest before being rude.

1452
00:41:56,986 --> 00:41:59,596
No, I hate that so much.

1453
00:41:59,596 --> 00:42:00,436
Red flag.

1454
00:42:00,568 --> 00:42:02,516
That is not an excuse that reminds me

1455
00:42:02,516 --> 00:42:04,329
of, Taylor Swift, casually cruel in

1456
00:42:04,329 --> 00:42:05,979
the name of being honest, you know?

1457
00:42:06,489 --> 00:42:06,579
Yes.

1458
00:42:06,969 --> 00:42:07,719
Not, okay.

1459
00:42:08,079 --> 00:42:10,186
It's that or the, I was just

1460
00:42:10,186 --> 00:42:11,746
joking after saying something.

1461
00:42:11,983 --> 00:42:13,543
You're so sensitive.

1462
00:42:13,603 --> 00:42:14,293
Oh my goodness.

1463
00:42:14,293 --> 00:42:14,353
Ugh.

1464
00:42:15,343 --> 00:42:15,643
Gosh,

1465
00:42:15,982 --> 00:42:17,196
that was probably like one of the most

1466
00:42:17,196 --> 00:42:19,866
common things I've heard to me growing up.

1467
00:42:20,137 --> 00:42:21,036
You're just sensitive.

1468
00:42:21,036 --> 00:42:22,086
You're so sensitive

1469
00:42:22,386 --> 00:42:22,896
to be fair.

1470
00:42:22,896 --> 00:42:23,616
I am so,

1471
00:42:24,143 --> 00:42:24,453
but yeah.

1472
00:42:24,453 --> 00:42:25,293
Then you learn later.

1473
00:42:25,293 --> 00:42:27,123
You're like, I'm proud of being sensitive.

1474
00:42:27,123 --> 00:42:28,525
I'm, I'm, I'm path, I'm

1475
00:42:28,525 --> 00:42:29,695
in tune with my doctors.

1476
00:42:30,184 --> 00:42:31,255
I would like to think I'm a good

1477
00:42:31,255 --> 00:42:33,055
person because I'm very sensitive.

1478
00:42:33,235 --> 00:42:33,985
Yes.

1479
00:42:34,192 --> 00:42:34,448
I know.

1480
00:42:34,448 --> 00:42:36,018
I'm like, why were we taught that?

1481
00:42:36,018 --> 00:42:36,678
It was like.

1482
00:42:36,956 --> 00:42:39,443
A bad thing to be like emotional or sad.

1483
00:42:39,443 --> 00:42:40,433
I feel like that's just like one

1484
00:42:40,433 --> 00:42:41,783
of those like patriarchal things

1485
00:42:41,783 --> 00:42:42,940
where it's like, where it's like,

1486
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:44,500
oh, don't show your emotions.

1487
00:42:44,500 --> 00:42:45,700
Like you need to hide it.

1488
00:42:45,700 --> 00:42:47,020
Don't cry, don't do this.

1489
00:42:47,109 --> 00:42:48,456
So whenever like if my daughter

1490
00:42:48,495 --> 00:42:50,917
who's almost three, when she shows

1491
00:42:50,917 --> 00:42:51,787
emotion, I'm like, it's okay.

1492
00:42:51,787 --> 00:42:52,207
Be sad.

1493
00:42:52,207 --> 00:42:53,107
Are you frustrated?

1494
00:42:53,290 --> 00:42:53,933
Are you angry?

1495
00:42:53,933 --> 00:42:54,743
Do you need space?

1496
00:42:54,743 --> 00:42:57,057
Like trying to be that like overly like I

1497
00:42:57,057 --> 00:42:58,167
think that's one thing you feel your inner

1498
00:42:58,167 --> 00:42:58,737
child.

1499
00:42:58,977 --> 00:42:59,517
Yes.

1500
00:42:59,517 --> 00:43:00,147
I think that's one thing.

1501
00:43:00,147 --> 00:43:02,037
Millennial parents are like doing better

1502
00:43:02,037 --> 00:43:03,864
than like the generation, again, not

1503
00:43:03,864 --> 00:43:05,154
critiquing the previous one, but I

1504
00:43:05,154 --> 00:43:06,559
feel like it was very just we always

1505
00:43:06,559 --> 00:43:07,999
try to like improve the previous

1506
00:43:07,999 --> 00:43:10,039
generation and I feel like we were told

1507
00:43:10,039 --> 00:43:11,689
a lot don't cry, don't be emotional.

1508
00:43:11,689 --> 00:43:12,649
And I always try to like hide

1509
00:43:12,649 --> 00:43:14,519
my tears if I was upset and I'm

1510
00:43:14,519 --> 00:43:16,352
like, no, you own that emotion.

1511
00:43:16,352 --> 00:43:16,865
it's fine.

1512
00:43:16,865 --> 00:43:17,495
Let's name it.

1513
00:43:17,975 --> 00:43:19,985
I know I was such an emotional kid.

1514
00:43:20,078 --> 00:43:21,393
I don't even know why I was so

1515
00:43:21,393 --> 00:43:23,480
emotional, but, I think when I was

1516
00:43:23,480 --> 00:43:25,370
in first grade, my teacher actually

1517
00:43:25,370 --> 00:43:27,270
came up to me and said, I'm going to

1518
00:43:27,270 --> 00:43:28,980
make a calendar and mark every day

1519
00:43:28,980 --> 00:43:30,735
that you cry and show it to your mom.

1520
00:43:31,095 --> 00:43:31,955
Oh my God.

1521
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,260
To be fair, I was a very emotional kid.

1522
00:43:35,290 --> 00:43:37,023
but I was like, oh, okay.

1523
00:43:37,233 --> 00:43:38,223
Don't cry anymore.

1524
00:43:38,223 --> 00:43:39,483
You know, or else she's

1525
00:43:39,483 --> 00:43:40,413
gonna go tell my mom.

1526
00:43:40,797 --> 00:43:41,547
Was she saying it like

1527
00:43:41,547 --> 00:43:42,807
in a mean way or like

1528
00:43:42,807 --> 00:43:43,557
Yes.

1529
00:43:43,587 --> 00:43:44,157
Yes.

1530
00:43:44,157 --> 00:43:44,997
In a mean way.

1531
00:43:45,071 --> 00:43:45,941
I'm gonna mark it down.

1532
00:43:46,094 --> 00:43:48,044
Just to be fair, I was bullied because

1533
00:43:48,044 --> 00:43:50,084
I had an afro when I was a kid and

1534
00:43:50,084 --> 00:43:51,734
the kids used to call me cotton ball.

1535
00:43:51,734 --> 00:43:52,814
They were so mean.

1536
00:43:53,414 --> 00:43:56,384
Kids are, they are ruthless.

1537
00:43:56,384 --> 00:43:56,774
Yeah.

1538
00:43:56,954 --> 00:43:58,034
But it's okay.

1539
00:43:58,034 --> 00:44:00,382
I forget that they were children, but, oh

1540
00:44:00,382 --> 00:44:00,922
my gosh.

1541
00:44:01,048 --> 00:44:02,076
I had a kid one time.

1542
00:44:02,168 --> 00:44:03,668
Tell someone that I looked like a

1543
00:44:03,668 --> 00:44:05,528
chipmunk because of my big front teeth.

1544
00:44:06,218 --> 00:44:06,728
Oh my gosh.

1545
00:44:06,728 --> 00:44:06,968
No.

1546
00:44:07,268 --> 00:44:08,408
But I was so proud of myself.

1547
00:44:08,408 --> 00:44:09,548
'cause looking back, so like in

1548
00:44:09,548 --> 00:44:11,138
elementary, I was really shy and this

1549
00:44:11,138 --> 00:44:13,191
was in high school and I was friends

1550
00:44:13,191 --> 00:44:14,931
with a girl that was like cooler than me.

1551
00:44:14,931 --> 00:44:16,334
Like she was like friends with everybody.

1552
00:44:16,334 --> 00:44:17,815
And I was just like, oh my gosh, I'm

1553
00:44:17,815 --> 00:44:19,020
friends with her because I was like

1554
00:44:19,020 --> 00:44:20,815
really like shy she was talking to

1555
00:44:20,815 --> 00:44:22,675
these boys and this boy said it to

1556
00:44:22,675 --> 00:44:24,118
her, something about like chipmunk.

1557
00:44:24,118 --> 00:44:26,004
And she came and told me I go,

1558
00:44:26,110 --> 00:44:27,484
you think I look like a chipmunk?

1559
00:44:27,484 --> 00:44:28,594
And I like called him out and

1560
00:44:28,594 --> 00:44:29,494
then he was embarrassed, so I

1561
00:44:29,494 --> 00:44:30,904
was like, yeah, so don't do that.

1562
00:44:31,504 --> 00:44:32,194
Good for you.

1563
00:44:33,034 --> 00:44:34,204
That's like the epitome of

1564
00:44:34,204 --> 00:44:35,614
what an odd thing to say.

1565
00:44:36,394 --> 00:44:36,844
Yes.

1566
00:44:36,904 --> 00:44:37,294
Yeah.

1567
00:44:37,294 --> 00:44:38,944
What a weird thing to say out loud.

1568
00:44:39,454 --> 00:44:39,754
Yeah.

1569
00:44:40,114 --> 00:44:40,744
Repeat it.

1570
00:44:40,987 --> 00:44:41,284
Yeah.

1571
00:44:41,824 --> 00:44:42,544
Oh my gosh.

1572
00:44:42,544 --> 00:44:44,460
Okay, let's get into this

1573
00:44:44,460 --> 00:44:46,297
week's, follower submission.

1574
00:44:46,297 --> 00:44:47,917
So these are real stories people send

1575
00:44:47,917 --> 00:44:49,757
me, so let's just react as we go.

1576
00:44:49,757 --> 00:44:50,603
I. Okay.

1577
00:44:50,729 --> 00:44:53,307
I met the bride through mutual friends,

1578
00:44:53,457 --> 00:44:55,617
the kind of friendly magnetic girl who

1579
00:44:55,617 --> 00:44:57,387
seemed to pull people into her orbit.

1580
00:44:57,546 --> 00:44:59,106
She was newly engaged,

1581
00:44:59,226 --> 00:45:01,236
excited, and quickly invited

1582
00:45:01,236 --> 00:45:02,766
me to be in her inner circle.

1583
00:45:03,182 --> 00:45:05,413
Her fiancé and their two best guy

1584
00:45:05,413 --> 00:45:08,062
friends, Matt and Bill, before long

1585
00:45:08,122 --> 00:45:09,832
were all hanging out constantly.

1586
00:45:10,197 --> 00:45:12,597
Somehow, without realizing it, I became

1587
00:45:12,597 --> 00:45:14,607
the person she relied on the most.

1588
00:45:14,808 --> 00:45:16,848
She knew I sewed and weddings are

1589
00:45:16,848 --> 00:45:19,238
expensive, so when she admitted she was

1590
00:45:19,238 --> 00:45:21,529
stressed about her budget, I offered to

1591
00:45:21,529 --> 00:45:23,929
make her bridesmaid dresses for free.

1592
00:45:24,140 --> 00:45:25,817
I genuinely wanted to help.

1593
00:45:26,027 --> 00:45:27,864
This is like the case of the people

1594
00:45:27,864 --> 00:45:29,612
pleaser with like the, I don't know

1595
00:45:29,612 --> 00:45:30,602
what you would call the other person.

1596
00:45:30,602 --> 00:45:32,522
Like the energy, like vampires.

1597
00:45:32,822 --> 00:45:32,972
Thicker.

1598
00:45:33,092 --> 00:45:33,512
Yes.

1599
00:45:33,782 --> 00:45:34,442
Oh my gosh.

1600
00:45:34,442 --> 00:45:35,762
That's so much work.

1601
00:45:35,942 --> 00:45:37,172
I can't even imagine.

1602
00:45:37,442 --> 00:45:39,032
I can't even imagine making one, let

1603
00:45:39,032 --> 00:45:41,282
alone however many bridesmaids she had

1604
00:45:41,439 --> 00:45:42,579
and tailoring all of those.

1605
00:45:43,164 --> 00:45:43,944
To the bridesmaids.

1606
00:45:43,944 --> 00:45:44,094
Wow.

1607
00:45:44,274 --> 00:45:44,664
Yeah.

1608
00:45:45,024 --> 00:45:45,564
Yeah.

1609
00:45:45,654 --> 00:45:46,464
Oh my gosh.

1610
00:45:46,775 --> 00:45:48,144
She must have brought it up a lot in

1611
00:45:48,144 --> 00:45:50,472
front of this girl to be like, okay, I'll

1612
00:45:50,472 --> 00:45:52,122
make 'em, I'll make all these dresses.

1613
00:45:52,315 --> 00:45:53,692
Oh, you so, oh, well, I'm

1614
00:45:53,692 --> 00:45:55,342
having the hardest time.

1615
00:45:56,422 --> 00:45:56,662
Yes.

1616
00:45:56,876 --> 00:45:58,315
What am I gonna do?

1617
00:45:58,345 --> 00:45:59,805
You know, which, I mean, hey,

1618
00:45:59,805 --> 00:46:01,545
that's kind of how Crystal was.

1619
00:46:01,575 --> 00:46:02,925
Crystal was the type of person where

1620
00:46:02,925 --> 00:46:04,538
she would like, going back to like

1621
00:46:04,543 --> 00:46:06,433
the theft and everything, she would

1622
00:46:06,433 --> 00:46:08,353
say, well, she would offer, and it's

1623
00:46:08,353 --> 00:46:09,583
like, yeah, she has dementia and if

1624
00:46:09,583 --> 00:46:11,773
you go up to her and say, oh my gosh,

1625
00:46:11,773 --> 00:46:13,843
I have no money, I have no, whatever.

1626
00:46:13,843 --> 00:46:15,493
You know, it was very much that type of

1627
00:46:15,493 --> 00:46:18,408
situation where if you go and whine about

1628
00:46:18,408 --> 00:46:20,418
your problems, like loud enough, then

1629
00:46:20,448 --> 00:46:23,148
obviously her being like a good Christian

1630
00:46:23,148 --> 00:46:25,368
woman, she was going to offer to give you,

1631
00:46:25,368 --> 00:46:25,698
right.

1632
00:46:25,878 --> 00:46:27,588
There's those kinds of people that.

1633
00:46:27,816 --> 00:46:29,796
That's how they were raised is

1634
00:46:29,796 --> 00:46:30,936
like, you help someone in need.

1635
00:46:30,936 --> 00:46:31,236
Right?

1636
00:46:31,236 --> 00:46:32,479
And then there's the people that

1637
00:46:32,479 --> 00:46:33,979
take advantage of those people.

1638
00:46:34,009 --> 00:46:34,789
'cause they're like, oh,

1639
00:46:34,969 --> 00:46:36,259
they're not gonna tell me no.

1640
00:46:36,259 --> 00:46:36,979
Like, yeah.

1641
00:46:37,174 --> 00:46:39,154
I'll have a convenient breakdown around

1642
00:46:39,154 --> 00:46:40,684
the person who has something I want.

1643
00:46:40,946 --> 00:46:41,126
Uhhuh.

1644
00:46:41,696 --> 00:46:42,734
Oh yeah, okay.

1645
00:46:42,794 --> 00:46:45,014
So then within days the warning

1646
00:46:45,014 --> 00:46:46,694
signs started popping up.

1647
00:46:46,914 --> 00:46:49,456
Her aunt who had flown in from overseas

1648
00:46:49,516 --> 00:46:51,376
suddenly decided she wanted to take

1649
00:46:51,376 --> 00:46:54,102
over making the dresses, despite not

1650
00:46:54,102 --> 00:46:56,697
knowing how to sew properly, shocked to

1651
00:46:56,697 --> 00:46:59,907
absolutely no one, the dresses fell apart.

1652
00:47:00,147 --> 00:47:01,015
How did that work?

1653
00:47:01,015 --> 00:47:02,737
Like if the one girl's like, I'm

1654
00:47:02,737 --> 00:47:04,060
gonna sell these dresses, and it's

1655
00:47:04,060 --> 00:47:06,978
like, jk, like, I'm gonna do it like.

1656
00:47:06,978 --> 00:47:07,606
It's like, why would

1657
00:47:07,606 --> 00:47:08,686
you volunteer for that?

1658
00:47:08,686 --> 00:47:09,976
To me, that sounds like a nightmare.

1659
00:47:09,976 --> 00:47:11,206
If I found out that somebody

1660
00:47:11,206 --> 00:47:12,641
else was handling that, I'd be

1661
00:47:12,646 --> 00:47:14,656
like, thank you for doing that.

1662
00:47:14,806 --> 00:47:15,736
I don't wanna do that.

1663
00:47:15,741 --> 00:47:15,863
Like

1664
00:47:15,966 --> 00:47:17,446
a control thing or something.

1665
00:47:17,446 --> 00:47:19,141
But I'd also as a bride be

1666
00:47:19,141 --> 00:47:20,521
like, no, my friend's got it.

1667
00:47:20,543 --> 00:47:21,991
Like, she knows what she's doing.

1668
00:47:21,991 --> 00:47:22,051
Yeah.

1669
00:47:22,461 --> 00:47:23,091
Oh, this is weird.

1670
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:25,060
the bride came back to me in tears

1671
00:47:25,120 --> 00:47:27,477
begging me to fix everything, and

1672
00:47:27,477 --> 00:47:30,104
then came the kicker she said as a

1673
00:47:30,194 --> 00:47:32,536
payment for making all the dresses.

1674
00:47:32,566 --> 00:47:34,456
She'd make me a bridesmaid.

1675
00:47:34,576 --> 00:47:35,266
Wait, she wasn't even a

1676
00:47:35,266 --> 00:47:36,256
bridesmaid at this point

1677
00:47:38,746 --> 00:47:39,586
because people are

1678
00:47:39,586 --> 00:47:41,386
dying to be bridesmaids.

1679
00:47:41,416 --> 00:47:41,686
Okay.

1680
00:47:41,686 --> 00:47:43,126
I don't know like that.

1681
00:47:43,126 --> 00:47:43,396
That's the thing.

1682
00:47:43,772 --> 00:47:44,634
I thought this whole time

1683
00:47:44,634 --> 00:47:45,984
she was a bridesmaid.

1684
00:47:46,245 --> 00:47:46,935
I know.

1685
00:47:46,935 --> 00:47:48,255
To do all of that work and

1686
00:47:48,255 --> 00:47:49,815
not even be a bridesmaid.

1687
00:47:50,075 --> 00:47:50,255
Yeah.

1688
00:47:50,255 --> 00:47:50,495
Wow.

1689
00:47:50,495 --> 00:47:50,615
I

1690
00:47:50,615 --> 00:47:52,115
feel like when you accept being a

1691
00:47:52,115 --> 00:47:53,735
bridesmaid, you understand that you're

1692
00:47:53,735 --> 00:47:55,669
gonna get delegated something, a couple

1693
00:47:55,669 --> 00:47:58,249
tasks, you know, or something like that.

1694
00:47:58,249 --> 00:48:00,229
But to do all of that when she

1695
00:48:00,229 --> 00:48:01,579
hasn't known her that long.

1696
00:48:01,784 --> 00:48:02,167
Yeah.

1697
00:48:02,167 --> 00:48:02,767
She's an owner that

1698
00:48:02,767 --> 00:48:04,147
looks all the bridesmaid.

1699
00:48:04,207 --> 00:48:05,227
That's like not even something

1700
00:48:05,227 --> 00:48:06,727
I would ever be able to do.

1701
00:48:06,783 --> 00:48:08,423
I would rather help pay Yeah.

1702
00:48:08,423 --> 00:48:09,743
For the bridesmaids dresses

1703
00:48:09,743 --> 00:48:11,273
than to make them myself.

1704
00:48:11,303 --> 00:48:11,573
Oh,

1705
00:48:11,573 --> 00:48:12,443
a hundred percent.

1706
00:48:12,632 --> 00:48:12,812
yeah.

1707
00:48:12,812 --> 00:48:13,592
You don't want me making

1708
00:48:13,592 --> 00:48:14,312
a bridesmaid dress.

1709
00:48:14,312 --> 00:48:15,182
That thing would fall apart.

1710
00:48:15,948 --> 00:48:17,478
Also, like the whole

1711
00:48:17,478 --> 00:48:18,618
thing is kinda odd to me.

1712
00:48:18,618 --> 00:48:20,929
I mean, there's more, but, anyone

1713
00:48:20,929 --> 00:48:23,269
that says as payment, you can be a

1714
00:48:23,269 --> 00:48:25,556
bridesmaid is in my mind, already

1715
00:48:25,556 --> 00:48:27,536
gonna be a bridezilla because they

1716
00:48:27,536 --> 00:48:30,195
think it's an honor to be a bridesmaid.

1717
00:48:30,446 --> 00:48:32,186
yes, like close friends of mine

1718
00:48:32,186 --> 00:48:33,326
would say, you know, like, oh,

1719
00:48:33,326 --> 00:48:34,496
I would love to be by yourself.

1720
00:48:34,496 --> 00:48:35,366
Of course, like if that

1721
00:48:35,396 --> 00:48:36,416
mutual relationship.

1722
00:48:36,647 --> 00:48:37,937
But if someone says it as like a

1723
00:48:37,937 --> 00:48:40,191
gift, I'm doing you a favor to be

1724
00:48:40,191 --> 00:48:42,231
a bridesmaid in my royal wedding,

1725
00:48:42,261 --> 00:48:44,031
that just says red flag to me.

1726
00:48:44,349 --> 00:48:46,564
And it also implies that your relationship

1727
00:48:46,564 --> 00:48:48,304
was not good enough in the first

1728
00:48:48,304 --> 00:48:50,254
place for you to be a bridesmaid.

1729
00:48:50,254 --> 00:48:51,334
And you're getting this as.

1730
00:48:51,709 --> 00:48:52,129
Payment.

1731
00:48:52,129 --> 00:48:53,089
Like I don't understand how

1732
00:48:53,089 --> 00:48:54,289
that's supposed to feel good.

1733
00:48:54,589 --> 00:48:54,979
Yeah.

1734
00:48:55,159 --> 00:48:56,719
Feels bad to me.

1735
00:48:57,259 --> 00:48:57,619
Right.

1736
00:48:57,619 --> 00:48:58,579
It's like you can't even pay

1737
00:48:58,579 --> 00:49:00,289
her for the cost of the fabric.

1738
00:49:00,289 --> 00:49:01,969
She's getting her time.

1739
00:49:01,969 --> 00:49:03,155
Like, I don't know.

1740
00:49:03,465 --> 00:49:04,725
I told her that meant she'd have to

1741
00:49:04,725 --> 00:49:07,013
pick only one of her guy friends to be a

1742
00:49:07,013 --> 00:49:09,503
groomsman, which I thought wasn't fair,

1743
00:49:09,573 --> 00:49:11,343
I don't know why that would be, but,

1744
00:49:11,436 --> 00:49:13,236
she shrugged and said, oh, that's fine.

1745
00:49:13,266 --> 00:49:15,486
I never wanted Matt in the wedding anyway.

1746
00:49:15,636 --> 00:49:17,016
So you have to say yes.

1747
00:49:17,352 --> 00:49:19,482
I should have run then, God, I

1748
00:49:19,482 --> 00:49:22,001
should have run a few weeks later.

1749
00:49:22,070 --> 00:49:23,995
She wouldn't stop complaining about not

1750
00:49:23,995 --> 00:49:25,795
having a venue for her bridal shower.

1751
00:49:26,245 --> 00:49:29,335
She knew my parents lived on a one acre

1752
00:49:29,335 --> 00:49:32,605
property and she dropped a hint after

1753
00:49:32,605 --> 00:49:35,815
Hint after hint until I was uncomfortable.

1754
00:49:35,997 --> 00:49:37,587
I feel like I see a lot of similarities

1755
00:49:37,587 --> 00:49:39,686
with the person that, you know, I just

1756
00:49:39,686 --> 00:49:41,096
feel like trying to take advantage

1757
00:49:41,096 --> 00:49:43,171
of somebody to get what they want.

1758
00:49:43,324 --> 00:49:45,154
No, that's so uncomfortable.

1759
00:49:45,154 --> 00:49:46,651
Like it sounds like she made her

1760
00:49:46,651 --> 00:49:47,851
the bridesmaid so that she could

1761
00:49:47,851 --> 00:49:48,961
get all this stuff from her.

1762
00:49:48,961 --> 00:49:49,471
Mm-hmm.

1763
00:49:49,741 --> 00:49:51,032
Honestly, Okay.

1764
00:49:51,062 --> 00:49:52,322
Going back to Crystal.

1765
00:49:52,322 --> 00:49:54,101
I mean, I wish I had picked up on it

1766
00:49:54,101 --> 00:49:56,801
sooner, but she would often have friends

1767
00:49:56,801 --> 00:49:59,170
for about a year or two, and then they

1768
00:49:59,170 --> 00:50:00,520
would have a falling out and it was

1769
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:03,313
always, oh, she was crazy or, okay.

1770
00:50:03,515 --> 00:50:04,295
can't believe I didn't even

1771
00:50:04,295 --> 00:50:05,555
get into how crazy Crystal was.

1772
00:50:05,555 --> 00:50:05,765
Okay.

1773
00:50:05,765 --> 00:50:07,115
She would also say that,

1774
00:50:07,163 --> 00:50:08,213
everybody was in love with her.

1775
00:50:08,712 --> 00:50:10,452
She used to be very careful about

1776
00:50:10,452 --> 00:50:12,942
like being around men because any man

1777
00:50:12,942 --> 00:50:15,225
would cheat on their wife with her.

1778
00:50:15,255 --> 00:50:15,585
Oh

1779
00:50:15,585 --> 00:50:16,995
my gosh.

1780
00:50:16,995 --> 00:50:17,145
She

1781
00:50:17,145 --> 00:50:18,885
also said that if she just tried,

1782
00:50:18,885 --> 00:50:20,445
she would be able to be a Peloton

1783
00:50:20,445 --> 00:50:23,500
instructor, and then she was

1784
00:50:23,500 --> 00:50:24,310
like, I would, I'll be a little,

1785
00:50:24,895 --> 00:50:26,485
as d Lulu as Crystal.

1786
00:50:26,755 --> 00:50:28,899
I think we can, yeah, she would say, I

1787
00:50:28,899 --> 00:50:30,489
would try out for American Idol, but I

1788
00:50:30,489 --> 00:50:32,928
would win, you know, and I don't wanna

1789
00:50:32,928 --> 00:50:35,789
be famous, so she was just a very high

1790
00:50:35,789 --> 00:50:37,799
sense of self and I think like growing

1791
00:50:37,799 --> 00:50:39,509
up with her, after knowing somebody like

1792
00:50:39,509 --> 00:50:41,039
that, since you're 12 years old, you

1793
00:50:41,039 --> 00:50:42,479
just kind of think that that's normal.

1794
00:50:42,539 --> 00:50:43,799
And I honestly think that's why I

1795
00:50:43,799 --> 00:50:45,479
ended up with my crazy narcissistic

1796
00:50:45,479 --> 00:50:48,149
ex was I was so used to grandiose,

1797
00:50:48,299 --> 00:50:50,623
odd behavior, from people around me

1798
00:50:50,623 --> 00:50:52,183
that it just, like, he was the same.

1799
00:50:52,183 --> 00:50:53,413
He thought he was gonna own Disney.

1800
00:50:53,685 --> 00:50:54,253
It's a whole thing.

1801
00:50:54,633 --> 00:50:56,778
All of that to say like, these people, oh

1802
00:50:56,778 --> 00:50:58,608
my gosh, they know how to get their way.

1803
00:50:58,689 --> 00:50:59,139
You know?

1804
00:50:59,349 --> 00:50:59,709
Yeah.

1805
00:50:59,709 --> 00:51:01,037
And it's like, it's that

1806
00:51:01,037 --> 00:51:03,011
same kind of mentality of She

1807
00:51:03,011 --> 00:51:04,421
sees her as week over here.

1808
00:51:04,598 --> 00:51:05,938
If I can make her a bridesmaid,

1809
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,528
make her feel included, she'll gimme

1810
00:51:07,528 --> 00:51:09,478
all the things I want for my day.

1811
00:51:09,508 --> 00:51:11,278
And just seeing her as a dollar sign

1812
00:51:11,278 --> 00:51:12,838
or seeing her as an opportunity.

1813
00:51:13,060 --> 00:51:14,860
And you see that with like weddings

1814
00:51:14,860 --> 00:51:16,587
and, just friendships in general.

1815
00:51:16,587 --> 00:51:18,415
I've seen where it's like, they use you

1816
00:51:18,415 --> 00:51:20,317
for what they need you for, and then they

1817
00:51:20,317 --> 00:51:22,493
move along to the next person And what you

1818
00:51:22,493 --> 00:51:24,833
said too about Crystal saying like, all

1819
00:51:24,833 --> 00:51:26,693
these friendships, oh, they were crazy.

1820
00:51:26,899 --> 00:51:28,699
Same goes for like, if you ever meet

1821
00:51:28,699 --> 00:51:31,429
a guy and all their exes were crazy,

1822
00:51:31,666 --> 00:51:33,736
probably not the exes just saying

1823
00:51:34,227 --> 00:51:35,007
Absolutely.

1824
00:51:35,097 --> 00:51:36,327
My ex said the same thing.

1825
00:51:36,327 --> 00:51:38,397
He told me his ex was absolutely insane.

1826
00:51:38,500 --> 00:51:40,030
And when we got divorced,

1827
00:51:40,030 --> 00:51:40,810
I mean this was just.

1828
00:51:41,185 --> 00:51:42,760
I did a series, did I marry

1829
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:44,350
a psychopath on TikTok?

1830
00:51:44,731 --> 00:51:46,510
And throughout the series I ended

1831
00:51:46,510 --> 00:51:47,800
up reaching out to his ex and I

1832
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:50,241
found out the true story and he was

1833
00:51:50,331 --> 00:51:52,641
horrible to her and was abusive to her.

1834
00:51:52,641 --> 00:51:55,221
So like these people, they will lie.

1835
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:57,561
So, oh, that's why I brought up

1836
00:51:57,561 --> 00:52:00,140
Crystal saying that her friendships

1837
00:52:00,140 --> 00:52:01,280
would only last a year or two.

1838
00:52:01,280 --> 00:52:04,020
I'm wondering if this is realizing that

1839
00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:06,881
none of her friends are coming through

1840
00:52:06,881 --> 00:52:08,651
or if they're helping her and she's

1841
00:52:08,651 --> 00:52:11,141
needing to recruit people to help her.

1842
00:52:11,141 --> 00:52:12,341
Yes, because I mean, she might

1843
00:52:12,341 --> 00:52:14,081
not be that nice and maybe

1844
00:52:14,081 --> 00:52:15,401
her friends don't wanna help.

1845
00:52:15,581 --> 00:52:16,631
They're all and everybody else

1846
00:52:16,631 --> 00:52:18,941
is fed up, but you're new, so

1847
00:52:19,271 --> 00:52:19,571
Yes,

1848
00:52:19,571 --> 00:52:20,291
she's gonna try.

1849
00:52:21,011 --> 00:52:22,001
They're in the honeymoon

1850
00:52:22,001 --> 00:52:23,921
friend stage where everything's

1851
00:52:23,921 --> 00:52:25,840
perfect and she's great.

1852
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:28,001
She said, I finally offered to ask my

1853
00:52:28,001 --> 00:52:31,091
parents, and they being lovely, said yes.

1854
00:52:31,243 --> 00:52:33,643
She was elated and even told me,

1855
00:52:33,834 --> 00:52:36,034
you're welcome to invite your family

1856
00:52:36,235 --> 00:52:38,298
to the party at their own house.

1857
00:52:38,402 --> 00:52:40,892
Can you imagine saying that to somebody?

1858
00:52:41,078 --> 00:52:42,723
your parents, out of the goodness of my

1859
00:52:42,723 --> 00:52:44,313
heart, don't have to flee their home.

1860
00:52:44,513 --> 00:52:44,865
Yeah.

1861
00:52:44,865 --> 00:52:46,155
That's crazy.

1862
00:52:46,376 --> 00:52:47,862
That's horrible.

1863
00:52:48,054 --> 00:52:48,320
That is.

1864
00:52:48,320 --> 00:52:49,160
That's insane behavior.

1865
00:52:49,190 --> 00:52:49,820
Bridezilla.

1866
00:52:50,006 --> 00:52:50,690
Yeah.

1867
00:52:51,110 --> 00:52:52,250
See, and that would give me

1868
00:52:52,250 --> 00:52:53,570
a red flag right off the bat.

1869
00:52:53,870 --> 00:52:54,945
But like, I don't know.

1870
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:56,720
Just in general, I'd be like, no.

1871
00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:57,466
Like, something's up.

1872
00:52:57,470 --> 00:52:58,970
It's like you're in so deep at this point.

1873
00:52:59,082 --> 00:52:59,532
Yeah.

1874
00:52:59,701 --> 00:53:00,776
that should tell you everything

1875
00:53:00,776 --> 00:53:01,886
you need to know about her.

1876
00:53:02,122 --> 00:53:03,716
The night before the shower, I was

1877
00:53:03,716 --> 00:53:05,996
supposed to finish the dresses instead.

1878
00:53:06,197 --> 00:53:08,396
She and half the wedding party spent the

1879
00:53:08,396 --> 00:53:10,586
night at my house decorating the yard.

1880
00:53:10,718 --> 00:53:12,668
I didn't sew a single stitch,

1881
00:53:12,818 --> 00:53:15,428
and somehow she yelled at me

1882
00:53:15,554 --> 00:53:17,405
for not finishing the dresses.

1883
00:53:17,603 --> 00:53:19,343
I'd be like, do 'em yourself.

1884
00:53:19,883 --> 00:53:20,333
Bye.

1885
00:53:20,364 --> 00:53:20,513
What?

1886
00:53:20,513 --> 00:53:21,683
She's your servant.

1887
00:53:21,953 --> 00:53:23,483
This is so atrocious.

1888
00:53:23,841 --> 00:53:24,824
cut off the French.

1889
00:53:24,824 --> 00:53:25,874
I assume that that's where

1890
00:53:25,874 --> 00:53:27,614
the story is going, but I hope

1891
00:53:27,614 --> 00:53:27,944
so.

1892
00:53:28,004 --> 00:53:28,514
Wow.

1893
00:53:28,514 --> 00:53:29,504
The audacity

1894
00:53:29,792 --> 00:53:30,299
wild.

1895
00:53:30,439 --> 00:53:32,648
The next day she forced Matt and

1896
00:53:32,648 --> 00:53:34,868
Bill to act as waiters at her

1897
00:53:34,868 --> 00:53:37,628
bridal shower, which was weird.

1898
00:53:37,784 --> 00:53:39,247
Then in front of the entire

1899
00:53:39,247 --> 00:53:40,927
room, she made an announcement.

1900
00:53:41,156 --> 00:53:43,436
She was changing her maid of honor.

1901
00:53:43,725 --> 00:53:45,675
Her sister was now her maid of honor.

1902
00:53:45,916 --> 00:53:48,556
Her childhood best friend Sarah, who

1903
00:53:48,556 --> 00:53:50,566
had already been asked, was moved to

1904
00:53:50,566 --> 00:53:52,756
the very end of the bridesmaid lineup.

1905
00:53:52,936 --> 00:53:54,256
She's doing this in public,

1906
00:53:54,256 --> 00:53:55,246
in front of everybody.

1907
00:53:55,696 --> 00:53:56,686
One that's terrible.

1908
00:53:56,785 --> 00:53:58,886
Two, I think the whole bridesmaid

1909
00:53:58,886 --> 00:54:00,356
lineup thing is weird to be like,

1910
00:54:00,356 --> 00:54:01,556
okay, you're number four now.

1911
00:54:01,556 --> 00:54:03,614
Like I did mine by like height

1912
00:54:03,614 --> 00:54:05,204
or how long I knew them for,

1913
00:54:05,234 --> 00:54:06,232
like, I was not, like, I felt

1914
00:54:06,254 --> 00:54:07,244
very uncomfortable

1915
00:54:07,514 --> 00:54:08,894
trying to line people up.

1916
00:54:09,074 --> 00:54:10,934
Luckily, a lot of my brides.

1917
00:54:11,318 --> 00:54:12,638
my bridesmaids were family.

1918
00:54:12,698 --> 00:54:14,708
So I felt kind of okay putting the

1919
00:54:14,708 --> 00:54:16,514
family first, because I thought

1920
00:54:16,514 --> 00:54:17,654
my other friends would understand.

1921
00:54:17,654 --> 00:54:19,428
But it is awkward trying to be like,

1922
00:54:19,441 --> 00:54:22,136
it's, and you here and sorry, or No,

1923
00:54:23,516 --> 00:54:24,896
I feel like I ultimately

1924
00:54:24,896 --> 00:54:26,770
went by how long I knew them.

1925
00:54:26,770 --> 00:54:28,530
'cause like my maid of honor was first,

1926
00:54:28,530 --> 00:54:31,106
then I had my sister, a cousin, and

1927
00:54:31,106 --> 00:54:32,626
then I of course had my husband, like

1928
00:54:32,686 --> 00:54:34,638
sister-in-laws and towards the end

1929
00:54:34,638 --> 00:54:36,198
just 'cause of like length of time plus

1930
00:54:36,225 --> 00:54:37,746
we just wanted them to like walk with

1931
00:54:37,746 --> 00:54:40,177
their partner or their husband and Yeah.

1932
00:54:40,213 --> 00:54:41,548
but I have heard of that where people

1933
00:54:41,548 --> 00:54:44,126
are like, okay, well I'm her best friend.

1934
00:54:44,126 --> 00:54:44,966
Or I don't know.

1935
00:54:45,026 --> 00:54:45,755
That's that's to

1936
00:54:45,755 --> 00:54:47,165
demote somebody who was the

1937
00:54:47,165 --> 00:54:49,175
maid of honor that's so evil.

1938
00:54:49,235 --> 00:54:49,505
Yeah.

1939
00:54:49,565 --> 00:54:50,615
And publicly like.

1940
00:54:50,875 --> 00:54:51,535
Did I miss?

1941
00:54:51,535 --> 00:54:52,765
Why do we know?

1942
00:54:52,765 --> 00:54:52,963
Why?

1943
00:54:53,399 --> 00:54:54,779
See, she didn't say it yet.

1944
00:54:55,259 --> 00:54:55,619
Okay.

1945
00:54:55,619 --> 00:54:55,889
She goes,

1946
00:54:56,069 --> 00:54:58,542
and I was bumped to girl number three,

1947
00:54:58,782 --> 00:55:00,582
so she's like, basically like ranking

1948
00:55:00,582 --> 00:55:02,052
them literally in front of them.

1949
00:55:02,248 --> 00:55:03,868
So Maid of honor moved to number

1950
00:55:03,868 --> 00:55:05,578
four, I'm guessing number four.

1951
00:55:05,578 --> 00:55:07,018
She just says at the end of the lineup.

1952
00:55:07,287 --> 00:55:08,427
And then the girl that wrote in

1953
00:55:08,427 --> 00:55:09,807
was bumped to girl number three.

1954
00:55:10,104 --> 00:55:10,914
So weird.

1955
00:55:11,116 --> 00:55:11,836
Oh, so strange.

1956
00:55:11,962 --> 00:55:13,876
I watched Sarah's face fall.

1957
00:55:14,153 --> 00:55:16,216
She held it together until later

1958
00:55:16,340 --> 00:55:17,902
when she called me sobbing.

1959
00:55:18,146 --> 00:55:19,736
I listened, comforted her

1960
00:55:19,736 --> 00:55:21,176
and texted her afterwards.

1961
00:55:21,382 --> 00:55:22,982
I'm so sorry you're going through this.

1962
00:55:22,982 --> 00:55:24,122
If things get too stressful,

1963
00:55:24,122 --> 00:55:25,202
you can always talk to me.

1964
00:55:25,682 --> 00:55:27,632
Harmless, supportive, kind.

1965
00:55:28,052 --> 00:55:29,042
This is gonna backfire.

1966
00:55:29,132 --> 00:55:31,704
I just know it except the bride

1967
00:55:31,704 --> 00:55:33,864
somehow ended up with Sarah's

1968
00:55:33,864 --> 00:55:36,264
phone and saw my text message.

1969
00:55:36,701 --> 00:55:39,161
She called me screaming of accusing

1970
00:55:39,161 --> 00:55:41,081
me, of trying to steal her friend,

1971
00:55:41,207 --> 00:55:43,457
demanding to know whose side I was on,

1972
00:55:43,636 --> 00:55:45,789
saying she needed to reevaluate whether

1973
00:55:45,789 --> 00:55:47,559
she even wanted me in the wedding.

1974
00:55:47,739 --> 00:55:49,239
I would be like, bye.

1975
00:55:49,682 --> 00:55:49,832
No.

1976
00:55:49,832 --> 00:55:51,062
I mean, what am I getting out

1977
00:55:51,062 --> 00:55:52,652
of this dynamic right now?

1978
00:55:53,042 --> 00:55:53,462
Yeah.

1979
00:55:53,492 --> 00:55:55,022
Like nothing at this point.

1980
00:55:55,022 --> 00:55:56,642
This is so toxic.

1981
00:55:56,912 --> 00:55:57,647
This feels like it's, this

1982
00:55:57,647 --> 00:55:59,252
is some Regina George stuff.

1983
00:56:00,162 --> 00:56:00,882
Yes.

1984
00:56:00,882 --> 00:56:01,572
Oh my gosh.

1985
00:56:01,572 --> 00:56:02,412
Totally.

1986
00:56:02,412 --> 00:56:03,702
I was like, this does sound familiar.

1987
00:56:03,790 --> 00:56:04,628
it's Regina George.

1988
00:56:04,750 --> 00:56:06,430
It's like, I'm always on your left.

1989
00:56:06,513 --> 00:56:07,923
Well now you're on my last nerve.

1990
00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:09,273
Get my, you know, whatever.

1991
00:56:09,499 --> 00:56:11,887
It's like the calls, the three-way calls

1992
00:56:11,887 --> 00:56:13,807
where you're trying to trick each other.

1993
00:56:14,004 --> 00:56:15,834
that is so toxic.

1994
00:56:16,014 --> 00:56:16,374
Oh my god.

1995
00:56:16,374 --> 00:56:17,004
We should have changed the

1996
00:56:17,004 --> 00:56:18,444
names to like mean girl names.

1997
00:56:18,804 --> 00:56:19,374
Perfect.

1998
00:56:19,453 --> 00:56:20,473
It really is.

1999
00:56:20,473 --> 00:56:21,523
Oh my gosh, that's wild.

2000
00:56:21,623 --> 00:56:23,243
unfortunately for me, she

2001
00:56:23,243 --> 00:56:24,879
decided to keep me and even

2002
00:56:24,879 --> 00:56:27,159
more unfortunately, I said yes.

2003
00:56:27,543 --> 00:56:29,853
On the big day, she transformed into

2004
00:56:29,853 --> 00:56:33,573
a full diva, rude to everyone snapping

2005
00:56:33,573 --> 00:56:36,137
at vendors, insulting bridesmaids.

2006
00:56:36,489 --> 00:56:37,719
so this girl knew how to turn on

2007
00:56:37,719 --> 00:56:39,509
the switch of like, I'm so fun.

2008
00:56:39,509 --> 00:56:42,119
I'm your new friend, let's hang out.

2009
00:56:42,243 --> 00:56:43,263
I'm awesome.

2010
00:56:43,263 --> 00:56:45,123
And then I feel like

2011
00:56:45,123 --> 00:56:46,413
people like that can just,

2012
00:56:47,043 --> 00:56:47,313
yeah,

2013
00:56:47,523 --> 00:56:47,733
flip.

2014
00:56:48,003 --> 00:56:49,623
I'm like transformed into a diva.

2015
00:56:49,623 --> 00:56:51,003
I feel like she's been a diva,

2016
00:56:51,093 --> 00:56:53,132
but I guess just turned up a ton.

2017
00:56:53,132 --> 00:56:53,312
Like

2018
00:56:53,552 --> 00:56:54,662
didn't hide it anymore

2019
00:56:55,232 --> 00:56:56,192
or even try to, yeah.

2020
00:56:56,254 --> 00:56:56,282
Oh

2021
00:56:56,282 --> 00:56:57,692
my gosh, this groom.

2022
00:56:57,812 --> 00:56:58,562
Can you imagine being

2023
00:56:58,562 --> 00:56:59,402
married to this woman?

2024
00:56:59,462 --> 00:56:59,672
I can't.

2025
00:57:00,512 --> 00:57:02,529
I always wonder cause I feel like we

2026
00:57:02,529 --> 00:57:04,179
don't hear about the grooms a lot in these

2027
00:57:04,179 --> 00:57:06,309
stories unless it's like focused on them.

2028
00:57:06,405 --> 00:57:07,817
So either take the backseat,

2029
00:57:07,817 --> 00:57:09,531
like they're really quiet or just

2030
00:57:09,531 --> 00:57:10,731
like whatever their door thing.

2031
00:57:10,980 --> 00:57:13,167
Or I wonder if they're just as terrible

2032
00:57:13,317 --> 00:57:15,027
and they're just like part of it.

2033
00:57:15,297 --> 00:57:15,867
But I don't know,

2034
00:57:15,897 --> 00:57:16,227
maybe.

2035
00:57:16,514 --> 00:57:18,614
her mother then informed us that

2036
00:57:18,614 --> 00:57:20,564
we had to pay for our own hair

2037
00:57:20,564 --> 00:57:22,214
and makeup, even though I had

2038
00:57:22,214 --> 00:57:24,314
made all the dresses for free.

2039
00:57:24,569 --> 00:57:26,272
after the ceremony, her gown

2040
00:57:26,302 --> 00:57:28,256
ripped, guess who had to get down

2041
00:57:28,256 --> 00:57:29,726
on her hands and knees and sew it?

2042
00:57:29,996 --> 00:57:30,416
Me.

2043
00:57:30,734 --> 00:57:32,624
She should make the wedding dress right.

2044
00:57:32,684 --> 00:57:33,044
Right.

2045
00:57:33,044 --> 00:57:34,634
No, as far as I know.

2046
00:57:34,634 --> 00:57:34,663
Oh,

2047
00:57:34,694 --> 00:57:35,864
gosh.

2048
00:57:36,083 --> 00:57:38,013
And like I get having, like, most

2049
00:57:38,013 --> 00:57:39,374
weddings I've been a part of,

2050
00:57:39,399 --> 00:57:40,569
there's hair and makeup there, and

2051
00:57:40,569 --> 00:57:42,159
if you want it done, you pay for it.

2052
00:57:42,256 --> 00:57:43,906
But I feel like as the bride, if

2053
00:57:43,906 --> 00:57:45,766
I knew my maid of honor or like a

2054
00:57:45,766 --> 00:57:47,536
bridesmaid made all the dresses,

2055
00:57:47,712 --> 00:57:49,417
I'd be like, let me pay for this.

2056
00:57:49,457 --> 00:57:50,417
how can I pay you?

2057
00:57:50,417 --> 00:57:51,887
But it sounds like this woman

2058
00:57:51,887 --> 00:57:53,726
just treats her as like a servant.

2059
00:57:53,995 --> 00:57:56,521
Her sisters-in-law yelled at me to hurry

2060
00:57:56,521 --> 00:57:58,621
up because I was holding up the reception.

2061
00:57:58,936 --> 00:57:59,776
It's not her fault.

2062
00:57:59,776 --> 00:58:00,886
The dress ripped.

2063
00:58:01,169 --> 00:58:01,971
Holy cow.

2064
00:58:01,971 --> 00:58:02,121
Be like,

2065
00:58:02,121 --> 00:58:02,451
fine.

2066
00:58:02,451 --> 00:58:03,261
Go out there.

2067
00:58:03,351 --> 00:58:04,011
Have fun.

2068
00:58:04,191 --> 00:58:04,786
Yeah, go do

2069
00:58:04,786 --> 00:58:04,906
it.

2070
00:58:05,058 --> 00:58:05,388
Yeah.

2071
00:58:05,510 --> 00:58:07,488
If you can do it faster, you go ahead.

2072
00:58:07,518 --> 00:58:08,827
Like, my God.

2073
00:58:09,019 --> 00:58:11,029
By the time evening fell, Sarah

2074
00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:12,229
and I ended up locked in the

2075
00:58:12,229 --> 00:58:14,895
bridal room crying in her speech.

2076
00:58:14,925 --> 00:58:16,425
The bride didn't mention Sarah

2077
00:58:16,425 --> 00:58:18,635
at all, all she said about me was

2078
00:58:18,665 --> 00:58:20,465
she made the bridesmaid dresses.

2079
00:58:20,704 --> 00:58:21,784
I don't know why the bridesmaids

2080
00:58:21,784 --> 00:58:23,536
are in the speech, or what the

2081
00:58:23,536 --> 00:58:25,246
speech is, but interesting.

2082
00:58:25,246 --> 00:58:25,306
Yeah.

2083
00:58:25,447 --> 00:58:26,890
after the wedding, the invites

2084
00:58:26,890 --> 00:58:27,670
to hang out with the group

2085
00:58:27,670 --> 00:58:29,770
became fewer then non-existent.

2086
00:58:30,071 --> 00:58:31,721
One night I literally ran into all

2087
00:58:31,721 --> 00:58:33,281
of them out together without me.

2088
00:58:33,567 --> 00:58:34,227
I'd be like, good.

2089
00:58:34,405 --> 00:58:35,875
When I finally confronted her, she

2090
00:58:35,875 --> 00:58:37,855
screamed, I'm not married to you.

2091
00:58:37,855 --> 00:58:39,235
I don't have to invite you to anything.

2092
00:58:39,464 --> 00:58:42,884
This lady, woman, like so evil.

2093
00:58:42,884 --> 00:58:43,964
She knew what she was doing.

2094
00:58:43,964 --> 00:58:45,014
She got what she wanted out

2095
00:58:45,014 --> 00:58:46,454
of her, and that was dresses.

2096
00:58:46,994 --> 00:58:47,264
That was it.

2097
00:58:47,455 --> 00:58:48,235
she said, and that was it.

2098
00:58:48,445 --> 00:58:48,925
Friendship.

2099
00:58:48,925 --> 00:58:50,962
Over months later, I heard she ended up

2100
00:58:50,962 --> 00:58:52,732
doing the same thing to Matt and Bill.

2101
00:58:52,762 --> 00:58:54,472
I have no idea if she and Sarah ever

2102
00:58:54,472 --> 00:58:55,882
recovered their friendship but me.

2103
00:58:56,011 --> 00:58:57,919
I walked away and honestly, that

2104
00:58:57,919 --> 00:59:00,139
was the best decision I ever made.

2105
00:59:00,426 --> 00:59:02,766
Oh my gosh, what a blip in your life.

2106
00:59:02,886 --> 00:59:05,106
I'm like, what a horrible, I cannot

2107
00:59:05,106 --> 00:59:07,535
imagine being around somebody who

2108
00:59:07,535 --> 00:59:09,455
treats people like such dirt and the

2109
00:59:09,455 --> 00:59:11,928
fact that nobody stood up to her or

2110
00:59:11,928 --> 00:59:13,331
really said like, I feel like there

2111
00:59:13,331 --> 00:59:15,281
is this vibe with weddings where

2112
00:59:15,281 --> 00:59:17,921
the bride can just do whatever she

2113
00:59:17,951 --> 00:59:20,411
wants because it's her wedding.

2114
00:59:20,471 --> 00:59:23,141
But I feel like at a point I

2115
00:59:23,141 --> 00:59:24,701
would like to think that people

2116
00:59:24,701 --> 00:59:26,201
in my life or I would've.

2117
00:59:26,201 --> 00:59:27,881
Stood up to this person

2118
00:59:27,911 --> 00:59:29,801
because Yes, that is insane.

2119
00:59:30,101 --> 00:59:31,361
You can't treat people like that.

2120
00:59:31,481 --> 00:59:33,281
Well, and the fact that the mom seemed

2121
00:59:33,281 --> 00:59:34,781
to have like some attitude too on the

2122
00:59:34,781 --> 00:59:36,011
wedding day sounds like that's where

2123
00:59:36,011 --> 00:59:38,082
she gets it from the entitlement.

2124
00:59:38,227 --> 00:59:39,334
But yeah, I just never get that.

2125
00:59:39,334 --> 00:59:40,944
Like, it's my day.

2126
00:59:40,944 --> 00:59:42,504
Like it's all about me.

2127
00:59:42,504 --> 00:59:44,544
Like I just don't get that.

2128
00:59:44,544 --> 00:59:45,899
Like, I was just telling someone, I'm

2129
00:59:45,899 --> 00:59:48,014
like, for my wedding morning, I made

2130
00:59:48,014 --> 00:59:49,784
sure my bridesmaids were taken care of.

2131
00:59:49,784 --> 00:59:51,715
Like I had breakfast for them, mimosas.

2132
00:59:51,715 --> 00:59:53,515
Like, I remember running around

2133
00:59:53,515 --> 00:59:55,165
making sure like they were good.

2134
00:59:55,213 --> 00:59:56,233
what do you need?

2135
00:59:56,233 --> 00:59:57,790
Because I was like, I just want you here

2136
00:59:57,790 --> 00:59:59,598
with me and I want you to enjoy yourself.

2137
00:59:59,598 --> 01:00:01,830
but I've definitely seen both sides of

2138
01:00:01,830 --> 01:00:03,483
it where it's like there's brides that

2139
01:00:03,483 --> 01:00:04,893
wanna take care of their wedding party and

2140
01:00:04,893 --> 01:00:06,536
there's brides that are like, it's my day.

2141
01:00:06,542 --> 01:00:07,682
you just stand by my side.

2142
01:00:08,585 --> 01:00:09,395
Oh my gosh.

2143
01:00:09,875 --> 01:00:10,385
That's why they're

2144
01:00:10,445 --> 01:00:11,615
pretty much props.

2145
01:00:11,615 --> 01:00:13,925
I mean, she was a prop and a way to get.

2146
01:00:14,210 --> 01:00:16,012
Dresses, which, I mean, that is so

2147
01:00:16,012 --> 01:00:18,467
much work, you know, and it's not even

2148
01:00:18,617 --> 01:00:20,057
how much are bridesmaids dresses, like

2149
01:00:20,057 --> 01:00:23,505
maybe 150 or however much, you know, on

2150
01:00:23,505 --> 01:00:26,025
top of that, it's handmade, you know?

2151
01:00:26,025 --> 01:00:27,945
So it's worth so much more than that,

2152
01:00:27,956 --> 01:00:29,429
know, because of all of the hard

2153
01:00:29,429 --> 01:00:31,319
work and the hours that she put in.

2154
01:00:31,536 --> 01:00:31,956
Yeah.

2155
01:00:31,956 --> 01:00:32,076
That

2156
01:00:32,076 --> 01:00:32,316
is, ugh.

2157
01:00:32,581 --> 01:00:34,351
So toxic, so glad that she

2158
01:00:34,351 --> 01:00:35,461
does not talk to her anymore.

2159
01:00:35,731 --> 01:00:36,121
Yeah.

2160
01:00:36,181 --> 01:00:37,801
I think I'd be the most mad about

2161
01:00:37,951 --> 01:00:39,687
making the dresses, because I think

2162
01:00:39,687 --> 01:00:41,367
if I were like a bridesmaid for a

2163
01:00:41,367 --> 01:00:42,567
wedding where this happened, I would

2164
01:00:42,627 --> 01:00:43,917
just look back and laugh at it.

2165
01:00:43,917 --> 01:00:45,147
I'd be like, that was wild.

2166
01:00:45,147 --> 01:00:46,317
Okay, moving on.

2167
01:00:46,573 --> 01:00:48,733
But the fact that she spent so much time

2168
01:00:48,733 --> 01:00:50,997
and really thought this person was like a

2169
01:00:50,997 --> 01:00:53,086
friend of hers, she let her parents lent

2170
01:00:53,086 --> 01:00:55,915
the house, to them that's just Got it.

2171
01:00:56,005 --> 01:00:56,515
Yeah.

2172
01:00:56,575 --> 01:00:57,385
It's like she was trying

2173
01:00:57,385 --> 01:00:58,855
to find ways to cut costs.

2174
01:00:59,575 --> 01:00:59,665
Mm-hmm.

2175
01:01:00,295 --> 01:01:00,445
Yeah.

2176
01:01:00,445 --> 01:01:00,625
Because

2177
01:01:00,625 --> 01:01:01,945
also, how do you not know where

2178
01:01:01,945 --> 01:01:03,235
your bridal shower's gonna be?

2179
01:01:03,685 --> 01:01:04,075
Yeah.

2180
01:01:04,311 --> 01:01:05,299
leading up to it.

2181
01:01:05,299 --> 01:01:06,109
You know what I mean?

2182
01:01:06,155 --> 01:01:08,075
it feels like she was scoping

2183
01:01:08,075 --> 01:01:10,235
out locations pretty much.

2184
01:01:10,265 --> 01:01:10,355
Mm-hmm.

2185
01:01:10,595 --> 01:01:12,725
How can I get somebody to gift this to me?

2186
01:01:13,115 --> 01:01:13,535
Yeah.

2187
01:01:13,535 --> 01:01:14,825
It's like she had something planned

2188
01:01:14,825 --> 01:01:16,649
somewhere else and then it was like she

2189
01:01:16,649 --> 01:01:18,599
messed up that relationship or something.

2190
01:01:19,079 --> 01:01:20,189
I wouldn't be someone else.

2191
01:01:20,399 --> 01:01:20,819
Yeah.

2192
01:01:20,986 --> 01:01:23,236
I feel like this so often though, where

2193
01:01:23,236 --> 01:01:24,976
friendships don't make it past the

2194
01:01:24,976 --> 01:01:27,946
wedding or friendships just fizzle out.

2195
01:01:27,946 --> 01:01:30,603
I yeah, so I was in that religious cult.

2196
01:01:30,633 --> 01:01:32,193
It was not just Christianity,

2197
01:01:32,193 --> 01:01:33,153
it was called Bethel School

2198
01:01:33,153 --> 01:01:34,383
of Supernatural Ministry.

2199
01:01:34,383 --> 01:01:35,343
It was super weird.

2200
01:01:35,343 --> 01:01:36,363
People Okay.

2201
01:01:36,363 --> 01:01:37,503
Thought they could raise people from

2202
01:01:37,503 --> 01:01:39,785
the dead and it was like, prophecy.

2203
01:01:39,785 --> 01:01:41,110
It was insanity.

2204
01:01:41,110 --> 01:01:43,709
But I met a girl there and she invited

2205
01:01:43,709 --> 01:01:47,219
me to be in her wedding and it was like I

2206
01:01:47,219 --> 01:01:49,199
hadn't seen her in person in over a year.

2207
01:01:49,259 --> 01:01:51,089
We had gone back to our home states.

2208
01:01:51,089 --> 01:01:52,199
We were not close.

2209
01:01:52,199 --> 01:01:54,586
We would talk once every four months.

2210
01:01:54,586 --> 01:01:56,326
I mean, we were not close, but I really

2211
01:01:56,326 --> 01:01:57,706
feel like she just needed somebody else.

2212
01:01:57,972 --> 01:01:58,542
On her side.

2213
01:01:58,542 --> 01:01:58,632
Mm-hmm.

2214
01:01:59,003 --> 01:02:02,318
so I literally flew to Utah and I went and

2215
01:02:02,318 --> 01:02:04,952
I was in her wedding and during that time

2216
01:02:04,952 --> 01:02:08,015
I ended up getting engaged to my ex. And

2217
01:02:08,015 --> 01:02:10,745
I felt like I had to ask her to be in mine

2218
01:02:10,865 --> 01:02:13,295
because I was in hers, but I didn't view

2219
01:02:13,295 --> 01:02:15,335
her as a friend, but I was in her wedding

2220
01:02:15,335 --> 01:02:16,805
and we were engaged at the same time.

2221
01:02:16,805 --> 01:02:18,152
So it kind of felt like, well,

2222
01:02:18,152 --> 01:02:19,352
I can't be her bridesmaid

2223
01:02:19,352 --> 01:02:21,212
and she not be in my wedding.

2224
01:02:21,581 --> 01:02:23,291
So we literally were in each

2225
01:02:23,291 --> 01:02:24,341
other's weddings and we have

2226
01:02:24,341 --> 01:02:25,601
never seen each other again.

2227
01:02:25,661 --> 01:02:27,990
Like, like it's so random, you

2228
01:02:27,990 --> 01:02:29,220
know, there's no bad blood.

2229
01:02:29,220 --> 01:02:30,750
She still follows me on social media,

2230
01:02:30,750 --> 01:02:32,743
but it's like I mean, it was very

2231
01:02:32,743 --> 01:02:34,213
strange and there was really no

2232
01:02:34,213 --> 01:02:35,983
reason to be in each other's weddings.

2233
01:02:36,283 --> 01:02:37,393
That is so funny.

2234
01:02:37,393 --> 01:02:39,013
That is really like common, I

2235
01:02:39,013 --> 01:02:40,407
feel like where if like you're in

2236
01:02:40,407 --> 01:02:41,337
someone's wedding, you feel like

2237
01:02:41,337 --> 01:02:43,167
you have to ask them to be in yours.

2238
01:02:43,398 --> 01:02:44,921
my husband and I had those talks before

2239
01:02:44,921 --> 01:02:46,173
getting married because we were like

2240
01:02:46,173 --> 01:02:47,800
considered the wedding couple for so long.

2241
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:49,094
'cause we were both in so many weddings.

2242
01:02:49,094 --> 01:02:49,964
I think we were each in like

2243
01:02:49,964 --> 01:02:51,524
10 weddings or something.

2244
01:02:51,730 --> 01:02:53,343
And we both had that discussion

2245
01:02:53,343 --> 01:02:54,393
about like, okay, should we have

2246
01:02:54,393 --> 01:02:55,353
this person because we were in

2247
01:02:55,353 --> 01:02:56,613
their wedding and vice versa.

2248
01:02:56,806 --> 01:02:58,186
And the end of the day I was just like,

2249
01:02:58,246 --> 01:03:00,316
I'm gonna have who I want on my side.

2250
01:03:00,499 --> 01:03:02,142
But again, like if I, I think if I

2251
01:03:02,142 --> 01:03:03,252
would've gotten married like in my

2252
01:03:03,252 --> 01:03:04,452
early twenties or something, I think

2253
01:03:04,452 --> 01:03:05,472
it would've been way different.

2254
01:03:05,472 --> 01:03:07,395
I think I would've been like, yes, yes.

2255
01:03:07,498 --> 01:03:09,125
Include everybody have this person

2256
01:03:09,125 --> 01:03:10,292
or if he's having his friend, I

2257
01:03:10,292 --> 01:03:11,372
should probably have his like wife

2258
01:03:11,372 --> 01:03:13,106
or girlfriend in it or partner.

2259
01:03:13,166 --> 01:03:14,230
But at the end of the day, it's

2260
01:03:14,230 --> 01:03:16,486
just like, no, people understand.

2261
01:03:16,516 --> 01:03:16,576
Yeah.

2262
01:03:16,936 --> 01:03:18,335
But yeah, it's awkward when you feel like

2263
01:03:18,335 --> 01:03:20,015
obligated to like have someone in your

2264
01:03:20,015 --> 01:03:21,556
wedding that you're not that close with.

2265
01:03:21,556 --> 01:03:22,906
I definitely feel like I've been

2266
01:03:22,936 --> 01:03:24,226
asked to be in weddings where.

2267
01:03:24,355 --> 01:03:25,195
And I've said yes.

2268
01:03:25,195 --> 01:03:26,204
And then I'm and I'm like, I

2269
01:03:26,204 --> 01:03:28,094
just asked because of something.

2270
01:03:28,094 --> 01:03:29,324
And then I'm like, I don't know.

2271
01:03:29,324 --> 01:03:30,824
Maybe I shouldn't have said yes.

2272
01:03:30,824 --> 01:03:32,462
But I don't know, I love

2273
01:03:32,462 --> 01:03:33,302
being a part of weddings.

2274
01:03:33,302 --> 01:03:34,322
I find stuff to do.

2275
01:03:34,322 --> 01:03:35,282
I'm very handy.

2276
01:03:35,282 --> 01:03:36,512
I always offer to help.

2277
01:03:36,616 --> 01:03:39,494
And so I feel like that's seen, you know?

2278
01:03:39,494 --> 01:03:39,764
Yeah.

2279
01:03:39,854 --> 01:03:41,414
I'm like, I'm a good bridesmaid.

2280
01:03:41,483 --> 01:03:42,271
I'm a good one.

2281
01:03:42,331 --> 01:03:44,941
You know, I put in work, so I mean, yeah.

2282
01:03:45,043 --> 01:03:45,613
I get that.

2283
01:03:45,823 --> 01:03:47,293
Yeah, for sure.

2284
01:03:47,466 --> 01:03:47,819
Awesome.

2285
01:03:47,819 --> 01:03:49,289
Well that was a wild story.

2286
01:03:49,289 --> 01:03:50,489
I always like to end these

2287
01:03:50,489 --> 01:03:51,865
with, confessions that

2288
01:03:51,865 --> 01:03:52,900
people send me on Instagram.

2289
01:03:52,900 --> 01:03:54,130
So I'll just read a couple of those

2290
01:03:54,130 --> 01:03:56,789
and then we go, okay, these are our

2291
01:03:56,849 --> 01:03:59,249
biggest wedding regrets people sent me.

2292
01:03:59,562 --> 01:03:59,922
Okay.

2293
01:04:00,070 --> 01:04:01,868
Our photographer, had a digital

2294
01:04:01,868 --> 01:04:03,758
camera, but acted like he only

2295
01:04:03,758 --> 01:04:05,888
had film, took forever to get

2296
01:04:05,888 --> 01:04:07,958
pictures, and he missed so many.

2297
01:04:07,958 --> 01:04:10,508
We wanted because took forever to set up.

2298
01:04:10,604 --> 01:04:12,304
each shot ended up, oh, he would

2299
01:04:12,304 --> 01:04:14,027
take forever for a shot and ended

2300
01:04:14,027 --> 01:04:15,887
up taking only one photo each time.

2301
01:04:16,247 --> 01:04:17,357
So frustrating.

2302
01:04:17,642 --> 01:04:18,812
I'd say time and time again.

2303
01:04:18,812 --> 01:04:19,892
Your photographer is like one

2304
01:04:19,892 --> 01:04:21,422
of the most important vendors.

2305
01:04:21,482 --> 01:04:23,342
If you have a bad photographer,

2306
01:04:23,512 --> 01:04:24,652
It just, it could ruin it.

2307
01:04:24,925 --> 01:04:25,195
I know.

2308
01:04:25,195 --> 01:04:26,395
I'm like, to me, that is one

2309
01:04:26,395 --> 01:04:27,655
of the most important things.

2310
01:04:27,655 --> 01:04:28,465
I'm so thankful.

2311
01:04:28,465 --> 01:04:30,817
I had, a friend who I had done photo

2312
01:04:30,817 --> 01:04:33,577
shoots with out in Atlanta, and I actually

2313
01:04:33,577 --> 01:04:35,964
flew her out and she gave us such a, deal

2314
01:04:35,964 --> 01:04:37,314
on it, but she's a wedding photographer,

2315
01:04:37,314 --> 01:04:39,894
so thankfully she was incredible.

2316
01:04:39,954 --> 01:04:41,454
But it's like once you find a good

2317
01:04:41,454 --> 01:04:42,806
photographer, stick with them.

2318
01:04:43,376 --> 01:04:43,736
Just yes.

2319
01:04:43,946 --> 01:04:45,086
Keep using them, you know?

2320
01:04:45,476 --> 01:04:46,166
Yes.

2321
01:04:46,207 --> 01:04:47,767
don't just like, agree to have

2322
01:04:47,767 --> 01:04:49,237
someone, be it because they're giving

2323
01:04:49,237 --> 01:04:51,007
it to you for free or something,

2324
01:04:51,007 --> 01:04:52,876
or, I've seen a lot of those too.

2325
01:04:52,876 --> 01:04:54,265
It's just go with your gut.

2326
01:04:54,265 --> 01:04:54,925
For sure.

2327
01:04:55,129 --> 01:04:56,509
let's see.

2328
01:04:56,666 --> 01:04:57,920
making my sister-in-law, my

2329
01:04:57,920 --> 01:04:59,990
matron of honor years later, she

2330
01:04:59,990 --> 01:05:01,670
said she never even liked me.

2331
01:05:02,028 --> 01:05:02,716
ow.

2332
01:05:02,896 --> 01:05:03,916
That would really hurt me.

2333
01:05:04,246 --> 01:05:04,456
Yeah.

2334
01:05:04,461 --> 01:05:06,589
Yeah, hiring the hairdresser I

2335
01:05:06,589 --> 01:05:08,111
did, she made me an hour and a

2336
01:05:08,111 --> 01:05:09,521
half late for my own wedding.

2337
01:05:09,789 --> 01:05:11,019
Oh, that's another one

2338
01:05:11,019 --> 01:05:12,079
that is super important.

2339
01:05:12,081 --> 01:05:13,748
I got my hairdresser.

2340
01:05:13,748 --> 01:05:14,078
Yeah.

2341
01:05:14,111 --> 01:05:15,319
I probably should have done

2342
01:05:15,319 --> 01:05:17,419
more research on my hairdresser.

2343
01:05:17,419 --> 01:05:20,668
I did a trial with her and it was okay.

2344
01:05:20,668 --> 01:05:22,408
And then on the wedding day, my

2345
01:05:22,408 --> 01:05:23,758
hair looked completely different.

2346
01:05:23,758 --> 01:05:25,688
And I had even, yeah, the back

2347
01:05:25,688 --> 01:05:26,798
of it looked totally different.

2348
01:05:26,798 --> 01:05:28,028
Like the way that it had

2349
01:05:28,118 --> 01:05:29,678
was pinned and all of it.

2350
01:05:29,781 --> 01:05:32,396
so I showed she had to redo it, and kid

2351
01:05:32,396 --> 01:05:35,156
you not, I looked like snooky, like I

2352
01:05:35,156 --> 01:05:37,867
had a bump and I was horrified because

2353
01:05:37,867 --> 01:05:39,967
that was not there in the original trial.

2354
01:05:39,967 --> 01:05:42,097
And I was like, I'm gonna walk down and

2355
01:05:42,097 --> 01:05:45,637
look like so insane and not like myself.

2356
01:05:45,726 --> 01:05:46,236
Yes.

2357
01:05:46,236 --> 01:05:47,016
Literally.

2358
01:05:47,016 --> 01:05:48,740
And I also look like a southern

2359
01:05:48,740 --> 01:05:49,850
beauty queen a little bit.

2360
01:05:49,850 --> 01:05:52,670
It was very weird vibes and thankfully

2361
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:54,380
they fixed it, but I was for

2362
01:05:54,380 --> 01:05:56,270
sure panicking on my wedding day.

2363
01:05:56,870 --> 01:05:57,535
Oh my gosh.

2364
01:05:58,234 --> 01:05:59,249
definitely been a part of a

2365
01:05:59,249 --> 01:06:00,389
lot of weddings where like,

2366
01:06:00,538 --> 01:06:02,578
they just hired someone, like

2367
01:06:02,578 --> 01:06:03,988
they didn't do like the trial.

2368
01:06:04,125 --> 01:06:05,645
And when the person comes in, it's just

2369
01:06:05,645 --> 01:06:07,294
like, there was one wedding where I was

2370
01:06:07,294 --> 01:06:08,644
in and I said no to hair and makeup.

2371
01:06:08,644 --> 01:06:09,874
I was like, I'll just do it myself.

2372
01:06:10,094 --> 01:06:12,404
I was glad I did because everyone ended

2373
01:06:12,404 --> 01:06:14,774
up washing off their makeup because it

2374
01:06:14,774 --> 01:06:16,634
was like someone that had like, hardly

2375
01:06:16,634 --> 01:06:18,875
any experience like everyone's hair

2376
01:06:18,875 --> 01:06:20,225
kept falling off and their eyelashes

2377
01:06:20,225 --> 01:06:21,995
were falling off and I had just done

2378
01:06:21,995 --> 01:06:24,257
them myself and I'm no professional.

2379
01:06:24,257 --> 01:06:26,087
I'm like not great at makeup, but I just

2380
01:06:26,087 --> 01:06:27,514
like, I don't know, I just was like,

2381
01:06:27,514 --> 01:06:28,669
I don't wanna spend a lot of money.

2382
01:06:28,782 --> 01:06:30,059
And everyone's like,

2383
01:06:30,299 --> 01:06:31,829
eyelashes were falling off.

2384
01:06:31,857 --> 01:06:32,757
it was not making it

2385
01:06:32,757 --> 01:06:33,717
to the wedding at all.

2386
01:06:33,717 --> 01:06:34,818
So it's hard sometimes.

2387
01:06:34,818 --> 01:06:35,598
You don't know what you're

2388
01:06:35,598 --> 01:06:37,158
gonna get until wedding day.

2389
01:06:37,608 --> 01:06:37,963
But yeah,

2390
01:06:38,028 --> 01:06:39,558
I prefer, especially my hair,

2391
01:06:39,558 --> 01:06:40,698
I prefer to do it myself.

2392
01:06:40,998 --> 01:06:41,988
'cause I have like such

2393
01:06:41,988 --> 01:06:44,214
thick, curly hair that Yeah.

2394
01:06:44,214 --> 01:06:46,764
Uh, they botch it most of the time.

2395
01:06:47,028 --> 01:06:47,718
Yes.

2396
01:06:47,778 --> 01:06:48,468
Oh my gosh.

2397
01:06:48,626 --> 01:06:49,106
Wow.

2398
01:06:49,136 --> 01:06:50,876
Well thank you so much for coming on.

2399
01:06:50,876 --> 01:06:52,646
It was so great chatting with you

2400
01:06:52,646 --> 01:06:55,226
and sharing your story and just.

2401
01:06:55,305 --> 01:06:56,835
Diving through this wedding drama.

2402
01:06:57,323 --> 01:06:57,333
Yeah.

2403
01:06:57,333 --> 01:06:58,253
Thank you so much for having me.

2404
01:06:58,253 --> 01:06:59,273
This was so much fun.

2405
01:06:59,363 --> 01:07:01,073
It was like such a happier

2406
01:07:01,073 --> 01:07:02,273
topic than what I'm used to,

2407
01:07:03,293 --> 01:07:03,413
you know?

2408
01:07:03,833 --> 01:07:04,493
Yes.

2409
01:07:04,624 --> 01:07:06,124
well for everyone listening, can you

2410
01:07:06,124 --> 01:07:07,875
again share where they can find more of

2411
01:07:07,875 --> 01:07:09,885
your content, anything fun you're working

2412
01:07:09,885 --> 01:07:12,108
on and, anything else that's coming up?

2413
01:07:12,204 --> 01:07:12,474
Yeah.

2414
01:07:12,474 --> 01:07:14,514
I am at Jubilee Dawns on

2415
01:07:14,514 --> 01:07:16,254
TikTok and on Instagram.

2416
01:07:16,254 --> 01:07:18,654
I also have a YouTube and my two podcasts

2417
01:07:18,654 --> 01:07:20,604
are Heald Dish and the Overshare Hour.

2418
01:07:20,859 --> 01:07:21,279
Awesome.

2419
01:07:21,279 --> 01:07:22,749
Well, thanks again for coming on.

2420
01:07:23,139 --> 01:07:23,349
All right.

2421
01:07:23,349 --> 01:07:24,009
Thank you.

