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Hi, Kendra.

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Hey, how's it going?

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Good.

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Thank you so much for coming back on.

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I'm so excited.

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It's so great to be back.

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It does not feel like it's been like

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what, a year since we filmed our last

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episode together, so I'm so excited.

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It's been so cool to see

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how your podcast has grown.

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I've loved watching everybody's

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little interviews and everything.

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It's been really entertaining, so

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it's super cool to be back again.

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I know.

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I think the fun thing about it is just

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being able to connect to so many people.

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Like, I feel like if it weren't for this

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podcast, we would never have had a sit

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down to like, talk like this or, yeah,

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it's, it just makes it so fun and like

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forces me outta my shell too, because

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I feel like working from home, like I

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just have a plan of what I do and like

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a lot of times I don't see a lot of

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people, so it's a great way to connect.

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Hey, I won't lie.

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This is the first time I've worn

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makeup in a month beyond just tinted

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SPF and some freaking mascara.

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I'm like, well, I better put on a face

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today because I'm filming an episode.

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So thank you for giving me

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a reason to get dolled up.

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Hey,

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anytime.

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No, you feel like people

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expect you as a makeup artist?

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Like, oh, they expect

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me to have full face.

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So, yes, and I will say that if I'm

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doing makeup clients, I do try to put

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like a little bit more makeup on, but

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my day to day, I'm an esthetician.

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So I mean, my day to day is more

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like facial clients, eyebrows,

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lashes, things like that.

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And I feel like most of my clients

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are more regulars now where they're

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coming every six to eight weeks, and

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I don't think that they really care

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that I'm just wearing some tinted

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moisturizer and a little bit of mascara.

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But when it comes to makeup

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clients, I think that it does.

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One, there is that level

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of professionalism.

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I feel, and this can be heavily debated

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too, like some people feel you don't

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have to wear makeup as a professional

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makeup artist while you are doing work.

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But for me, I find that the very few

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times that I haven't done that, I

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get a lot more questioning my skills.

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I guess that, if that makes sense,

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where it's like, are you sure

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you're gonna be able to do this?

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So I think being able to be

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like, I do know how to do makeup.

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Right.

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It's a little bit more

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comforting to the person.

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Yeah.

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And a little bit more encouraging.

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Yeah.

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I feel like that's probably,

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yeah, like a natural thing.

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Like, oh, if you're hiring for

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someone for hair or for nails, you

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are looking at their hand and nails.

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Although I feel like whenever I get my

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nails done, they're probably just like so

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busy that like they are more worried about

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their client and less about their own.

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Yeah.

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Which makes sense so like we said, it's

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been like a year since you've been on, so

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What's been new for you?

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What have you kind of done over

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the last year that you're like,

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I know you've been speaking at

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events I've been seeing and Yes.

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What's kind of your big thing you're

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working on or did the last year?

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So

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in the past year, it

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was a lot of traveling.

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I did a lot of traveling last year.

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I went to a bunch different conferences.

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I taught a lot at different

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conferences around the country.

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I did my first kind of like independent

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class where it wasn't in relation to any

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of those, and that was really exciting.

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but yeah, I mean, I got to go to Anaheim.

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I got to go to Orlando, Chicago,

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Denver, yeah, kind of all over.

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Is it, is it all like.

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Students that go to your

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classes or can like anyone go to

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your class?

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So it is typically for the

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conferences and stuff, those

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are beauty professionals only.

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Okay.

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But people who are in cosmetology

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school, esthetician school,

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anything like that they can come to.

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But these ones, it is more of

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like just for the industry,

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but they're very, very packed.

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so it's definitely not like I'm feeling

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like I'm missing out on seeing a lot

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of people, which is really cool too.

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It definitely feels like I'm still

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offering a good amount of education.

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But yeah, mostly more beauty professionals

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when it comes to those types of things.

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I would love to do more open

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to the public type of classes.

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it's just trying to find the time between

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bridal season to make that happen.

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But yeah, so it definitely got to

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meet a lot of the beauty, students,

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makeup artists, cosmetologists,

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hairstylists, barbers, all the things.

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that follow me in person.

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So that was really nice.

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And I love doing these events.

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like the one that happens in Chicago.

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I've done that for, I think this is my

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fourth year being with them teaching.

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and so it's been cool to just see

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the growth of myself, but also when

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people come back and they're taking my

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classes again, and now they're telling

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me, when I first came, I was still a

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student and now I own my own makeup

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studio, or I own my own salon, or I've

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been at a salon for however many years

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and I'm getting steady clientele.

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Like, it's just been

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really cool to do that.

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So that has been a big thing travel wise.

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And then just weddings.

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I mean, I was pretty busy this year.

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I did make the decision to.

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Kind of step back from

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taking every wedding.

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And mostly because I one was

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doing so much other traveling with

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teaching and things like that.

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Like I do need to have the availability

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to do that, even though I did still have

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where I would be leaving a wedding to jump

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on a flight to go teach at these places.

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but I did take a step

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back typically in a year.

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You know, I would take anywhere from 50 to

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60 ish weddings, but I just, that's wild.

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It's a lot.

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And I made the decision last year

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to step back and I wanted to take

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only about 30 weddings just to

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give myself a little bit more time.

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which I think was really smart.

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not just for me, but it let me learn

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a lot about myself and, I think it

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was the really healthy thing for me

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to do and I think that it's gonna

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be a good thing that I learned those

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things to share with other people.

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Just things like burnout, man,

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like yeah, it's so easy to get

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locked into the go, go, go.

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And once you do, take that

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step back, it's like, whoa.

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I guess I have been like in fight or

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flight for the past eight years because

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I've just been doing so many weddings.

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So I did make that decision.

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That's something I'm moving forward with,

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in 26 as well, is just less weddings.

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More educating is kind of my goal too.

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I want to do more teaching this year.

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But yeah, so weddings last year I got

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to do my first couple, further out of

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state weddings, which was exciting.

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I got to go to New York to do a wedding.

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so yeah, just lots.

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Travel was kind of the theme of last year.

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Just go, go, go.

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But awesome.

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I feel like that's a really like

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common thing I hear, whether it's

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like wedding industry or just

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like starting your own business.

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It's really exciting, like when

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your business grows and you

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just wanna say yes to everybody.

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I feel like I've had so many conversations

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with people, they're like, all of a sudden

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it just like hit me like I'm burned out.

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I can't say yes to everybody.

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I was talking to a wedding planner,

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I'm trying to think of what month it

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was, maybe like a month or two ago.

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A friend of mine similar thing.

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Like she was like, I'm finally toning it

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back with weddings a little bit because

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she was doing like 50, 40, 50 a year.

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And most of them are in

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that like wedding season.

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she like, it's just exhausting.

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But you're just like, go, go, go.

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And you're like, this

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is exciting, it's fun.

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But then you realize like, I don't have

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time to myself or like my body hurts.

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I'm actually like.

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Well, and

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that's the thing too.

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That's something I really

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had to be mindful of.

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I think I've shared this before, but I am

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somebody that I do struggle with chronic

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illnesses and I am physically disabled.

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I have my hip replaced.

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So I mean, I do feel like as

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I'm getting older, I do need

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to also be mindful of myself.

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Mm-hmm.

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Because there were times in recent years

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before I did take that step back where.

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I would get done with a wedding.

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And actually, here's a good

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little story for me to tell.

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I I had a wedding where it was

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at a hotel and I had a pretty

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decently long day on average.

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Nowadays, the most I will take

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alone to do makeup is probably

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about seven, maybe eight people,

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but probably closer to seven.

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I don't like to go over that too

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much because it's just, that's a

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lot of standing without being able

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to take a drink of water or go to

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the bathroom, things like that.

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so I had, I wanna say around about eight

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people and I got done with the wedding.

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I had been there from like, I wanna say

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five to five, six, so 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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Okay.

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12, one o'clock.

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Sorry.

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Math is not my strong suit at this moment.

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That's okay.

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So let's say I got done around like

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one, and I say goodbye to everybody.

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Everybody's happy, everything's awesome,

273
00:08:43,699 --> 00:08:45,866
and I knew I was not feeling well.

274
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,210
so one of the conditions I

275
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,280
have, it's called pots, which

276
00:08:49,310 --> 00:08:50,480
you may have heard of before.

277
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:51,980
It stands for postural

278
00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:53,780
orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.

279
00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:54,830
For those who are listening

280
00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:55,880
who don't know what that is.

281
00:08:56,090 --> 00:09:00,085
And in very, very, very basic terms, when

282
00:09:00,085 --> 00:09:03,425
I am standing, my heart rate is elevated.

283
00:09:03,534 --> 00:09:05,566
When I am in the heat, it

284
00:09:05,566 --> 00:09:07,132
gets elevated even more.

285
00:09:07,132 --> 00:09:08,272
That's a trigger for me.

286
00:09:08,328 --> 00:09:10,278
high stress situations can

287
00:09:10,278 --> 00:09:12,443
cause me to get even worse.

288
00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:15,742
So I get done with the, wedding, take

289
00:09:15,742 --> 00:09:18,335
the elevator downstairs, go out to

290
00:09:18,335 --> 00:09:21,335
my car and I put my stuff in my car.

291
00:09:21,455 --> 00:09:22,355
Sit down.

292
00:09:23,225 --> 00:09:25,205
I leaned back and I closed my

293
00:09:25,205 --> 00:09:27,715
eyes and I actually passed out.

294
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,695
I didn't realize that I did.

295
00:09:29,965 --> 00:09:30,235
Oh my gosh.

296
00:09:30,265 --> 00:09:32,637
But it was probably about, I

297
00:09:32,637 --> 00:09:34,227
would say, somewhere between

298
00:09:34,227 --> 00:09:37,245
like  five to eight minutes before

299
00:09:37,245 --> 00:09:39,225
I like opened my eyes again.

300
00:09:39,430 --> 00:09:42,770
And that's when I realized that

301
00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:45,582
I needed to start calming down.

302
00:09:45,582 --> 00:09:47,532
I needed to start taking less weddings.

303
00:09:47,710 --> 00:09:50,186
So after that wedding that was, I wanna

304
00:09:50,186 --> 00:09:53,539
say in 24, leading into 25, I decided

305
00:09:53,539 --> 00:09:55,999
I just needed to really skill back.

306
00:09:55,999 --> 00:09:58,337
So I think that if it wouldn't have been

307
00:09:58,337 --> 00:10:00,317
for something like that happening, I

308
00:10:00,317 --> 00:10:02,627
probably still would be pushing myself.

309
00:10:02,807 --> 00:10:04,982
But for anybody listening, you don't

310
00:10:04,982 --> 00:10:06,182
have to have a chronic illness.

311
00:10:06,182 --> 00:10:08,012
You don't have to be physically disabled,

312
00:10:08,012 --> 00:10:11,238
you don't have to be anything to I.

313
00:10:11,513 --> 00:10:14,273
Need to know your limits, to need to

314
00:10:14,273 --> 00:10:18,046
know what your end goal really is.

315
00:10:18,046 --> 00:10:19,726
Do you want to constantly be in

316
00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:22,336
a state of stress with like panic

317
00:10:22,336 --> 00:10:25,522
all the time of planning or, you

318
00:10:25,522 --> 00:10:27,172
know, free time for yourself?

319
00:10:27,289 --> 00:10:29,869
Your work shouldn't be your life.

320
00:10:30,466 --> 00:10:32,866
you should be able to have

321
00:10:33,076 --> 00:10:34,216
somewhat of a balance.

322
00:10:34,216 --> 00:10:35,986
And I did see somebody post something

323
00:10:35,986 --> 00:10:39,011
recently, like, does anyone know when I

324
00:10:39,011 --> 00:10:41,411
actually reach this work life balance?

325
00:10:41,411 --> 00:10:42,881
Like, is that even a thing?

326
00:10:43,156 --> 00:10:46,492
And I think that there's no real

327
00:10:46,552 --> 00:10:49,012
set template of this is what

328
00:10:49,012 --> 00:10:50,482
works, this is what doesn't work.

329
00:10:50,482 --> 00:10:51,292
You kind of just have to

330
00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:52,882
figure it out as you go.

331
00:10:53,096 --> 00:10:55,286
And that's kind of what I've had

332
00:10:55,286 --> 00:10:58,166
to do is just realize once I hit my

333
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:00,506
limit, scale back until it feels.

334
00:11:00,851 --> 00:11:01,751
Comfortable.

335
00:11:01,841 --> 00:11:02,291
Yeah.

336
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,141
That's so funny you say that because I

337
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,693
just made a video talking about, I might

338
00:11:06,693 --> 00:11:08,523
have been kind of like implying work-life

339
00:11:08,523 --> 00:11:09,663
balance, but I did say something about

340
00:11:09,663 --> 00:11:11,080
like, one of the things I'm struggling

341
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:12,610
with is trying to find balance.

342
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:13,490
'cause I feel like mm-hmm.

343
00:11:13,689 --> 00:11:15,784
The planner part in me always

344
00:11:15,784 --> 00:11:17,314
wants things to be like this.

345
00:11:17,541 --> 00:11:19,041
when I'm not productive

346
00:11:19,041 --> 00:11:20,751
I get so hard on myself.

347
00:11:21,038 --> 00:11:22,328
so I'll have like days where I'm

348
00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:23,768
like, everything's like done,

349
00:11:23,768 --> 00:11:25,268
that I need to, I check the boxes.

350
00:11:25,499 --> 00:11:26,279
the other days where I'm just

351
00:11:26,279 --> 00:11:27,809
not productive and I'm just

352
00:11:27,809 --> 00:11:29,243
like, where's this balance?

353
00:11:29,243 --> 00:11:31,096
Or I feel like if I'm doing too much

354
00:11:31,096 --> 00:11:33,256
work, I'm not enough of a mom or I'm

355
00:11:33,256 --> 00:11:35,026
not enough of a wife or a friend.

356
00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:36,970
You know, that pull of needing

357
00:11:36,970 --> 00:11:38,290
to do all these things.

358
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:39,661
So I totally relate.

359
00:11:39,661 --> 00:11:40,801
I think that one thing

360
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:41,616
that I heard in my life.

361
00:11:42,351 --> 00:11:44,511
From just a friend of mine, and I don't

362
00:11:44,511 --> 00:11:46,851
even think she was trying to be any

363
00:11:46,851 --> 00:11:49,611
sort of inspirational thing or anything.

364
00:11:49,611 --> 00:11:50,691
Yeah, she was just talking.

365
00:11:50,918 --> 00:11:54,037
She said that if I'm ever over

366
00:11:54,037 --> 00:11:55,687
excelling in one portion of my

367
00:11:55,687 --> 00:11:57,247
life, I'm failing in another.

368
00:11:57,547 --> 00:11:57,637
Mm-hmm.

369
00:11:57,637 --> 00:11:59,887
And that has really stuck with me.

370
00:11:59,983 --> 00:12:01,882
And I don't think that that's negative,

371
00:12:01,972 --> 00:12:03,742
like necessarily a negative thing.

372
00:12:03,882 --> 00:12:06,927
I think that if you think of your life as

373
00:12:07,077 --> 00:12:10,132
right now, I want to be really excelling

374
00:12:10,132 --> 00:12:12,881
in my career, you have to also understand

375
00:12:12,881 --> 00:12:16,028
that that does equate that maybe you're.

376
00:12:16,398 --> 00:12:18,558
Weekends are a little bit less, your

377
00:12:18,558 --> 00:12:19,998
friend time is gonna be a little

378
00:12:19,998 --> 00:12:23,050
bit less, it's not ever to me that

379
00:12:23,050 --> 00:12:25,690
things will ever be 50 50 balance.

380
00:12:25,848 --> 00:12:27,254
I think that if you want to be

381
00:12:27,254 --> 00:12:29,474
excelling in one way, you have to

382
00:12:29,474 --> 00:12:32,144
give up a couple of things for it

383
00:12:32,144 --> 00:12:34,304
to be balanced so that you're not

384
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,764
trying to keep up with the friendships

385
00:12:36,907 --> 00:12:38,797
every single weekend we're going out.

386
00:12:38,914 --> 00:12:40,450
It's just not possible.

387
00:12:40,450 --> 00:12:42,250
And then you're putting way too much

388
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,511
pressure on yourself when at the end

389
00:12:44,511 --> 00:12:46,453
of the day, especially in this type

390
00:12:46,453 --> 00:12:48,072
of career, when you are your own

391
00:12:48,072 --> 00:12:51,607
boss, you're setting your own goals

392
00:12:51,907 --> 00:12:54,277
and aspirations and things like that.

393
00:12:54,498 --> 00:12:56,178
The only person who is holding

394
00:12:56,178 --> 00:12:57,828
you to that standard is you.

395
00:12:58,308 --> 00:13:00,678
So if you are being so hard on

396
00:13:00,678 --> 00:13:02,268
yourself with things like that,

397
00:13:02,568 --> 00:13:04,638
you're never gonna feel balanced.

398
00:13:04,638 --> 00:13:05,748
You're never gonna feel like

399
00:13:05,748 --> 00:13:07,256
you're accomplishing enough and

400
00:13:07,256 --> 00:13:09,639
you're never gonna feel like you.

401
00:13:09,894 --> 00:13:11,431
You've done it, you're never

402
00:13:11,431 --> 00:13:13,411
gonna feel comfortable.

403
00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:14,791
You're never gonna feel stable.

404
00:13:14,791 --> 00:13:15,931
You're always gonna be reaching

405
00:13:15,931 --> 00:13:17,491
for more or wanting to do more.

406
00:13:17,892 --> 00:13:20,371
And it's not bad to have goals and

407
00:13:20,371 --> 00:13:24,064
have aspirations, but you can't stress

408
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:26,459
to yourself out to the point that you

409
00:13:26,459 --> 00:13:29,364
are holding yourself to not possible

410
00:13:29,564 --> 00:13:31,351
standards like physically can't happen.

411
00:13:31,351 --> 00:13:32,851
There's 24 hours in a day.

412
00:13:32,881 --> 00:13:34,081
People love to say that.

413
00:13:34,299 --> 00:13:35,949
We're not awake and going

414
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,539
for 24 hours in a day.

415
00:13:37,704 --> 00:13:41,810
So I think that you just have to, as a

416
00:13:41,810 --> 00:13:44,101
person, whether you are just a person,

417
00:13:44,101 --> 00:13:45,901
person, whether you're a business

418
00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:48,513
owner, entrepreneur, makeup artist,

419
00:13:48,573 --> 00:13:52,047
whatever, the balance doesn't come 50 50.

420
00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:55,701
It's how can I rearrange things

421
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:59,101
in my life to feel like what I'm

422
00:13:59,101 --> 00:14:01,291
wanting to focus on right now?

423
00:14:01,610 --> 00:14:03,343
Is what I'm focusing on and

424
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,753
I'm not stressing about trying

425
00:14:04,753 --> 00:14:06,193
to uphold other things too.

426
00:14:06,283 --> 00:14:06,373
Mm-hmm.

427
00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:07,513
I hope that makes sense.

428
00:14:07,603 --> 00:14:08,803
No, it totally does.

429
00:14:08,803 --> 00:14:10,757
No, I love that because it's kinda like

430
00:14:10,757 --> 00:14:12,437
different seasons require different

431
00:14:12,587 --> 00:14:14,777
balances and different priorities.

432
00:14:14,951 --> 00:14:15,041
Mm-hmm.

433
00:14:15,311 --> 00:14:16,331
Because, yeah, you made a good point.

434
00:14:16,331 --> 00:14:18,581
It was like last year was my first full

435
00:14:18,581 --> 00:14:20,619
year, I would say, as an entrepreneur.

436
00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:22,839
I started in 2023 of my own business,

437
00:14:22,839 --> 00:14:24,789
but last year with like the social

438
00:14:24,789 --> 00:14:26,499
media consulting and all that stuff.

439
00:14:26,982 --> 00:14:28,632
so I think I put like so much

440
00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:30,475
effort in it, but it was also my

441
00:14:30,475 --> 00:14:32,135
daughter's second year of life.

442
00:14:32,135 --> 00:14:33,005
She's like, I'm trying to think

443
00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:34,475
of like how the year's worth Yeah.

444
00:14:34,715 --> 00:14:36,683
Versus birthdays so second year of life.

445
00:14:36,683 --> 00:14:37,343
So I'm like, oh, it's

446
00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:38,483
such an important stage.

447
00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:39,910
And then there's the mom guilt and

448
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:41,230
so you like push it back and forth.

449
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,218
But I'm like, I also have the

450
00:14:43,218 --> 00:14:44,478
benefit of being home with her.

451
00:14:44,478 --> 00:14:46,368
So I do get to be home with her more

452
00:14:46,524 --> 00:14:49,104
than I think most working moms get to.

453
00:14:49,134 --> 00:14:50,904
So I kind have to remember like that's,

454
00:14:51,284 --> 00:14:53,275
that's a something that I get that,

455
00:14:53,335 --> 00:14:54,505
or what's the word I'm looking for?

456
00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:57,135
That's a. privilege or an like,

457
00:14:57,195 --> 00:14:58,215
something that I have that not

458
00:14:58,215 --> 00:14:59,565
a lot of people are able to do.

459
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,493
So, just kind of realizing those

460
00:15:01,493 --> 00:15:02,612
things and stepping outside

461
00:15:02,612 --> 00:15:04,742
of it is like, is important.

462
00:15:04,742 --> 00:15:05,756
So I feel like that was

463
00:15:05,756 --> 00:15:06,836
like a mini therapy session.

464
00:15:06,836 --> 00:15:07,196
Thank you.

465
00:15:07,456 --> 00:15:07,990
Oh yeah.

466
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:08,530
You're welcome.

467
00:15:08,530 --> 00:15:09,550
Most of that comes to

468
00:15:09,550 --> 00:15:11,350
you via my therapist.

469
00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:12,460
Thank you Theresa.

470
00:15:12,460 --> 00:15:13,090
We love you.

471
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:13,960
Thank you.

472
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:15,160
Yes.

473
00:15:15,820 --> 00:15:16,540
I always hear things like that.

474
00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:17,140
I'm like, maybe I should

475
00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:18,040
go back to therapy.

476
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:19,392
I'm like, just so I have someone like

477
00:15:19,542 --> 00:15:20,802
talk to you about things like that.

478
00:15:20,802 --> 00:15:21,222
'cause it's

479
00:15:21,861 --> 00:15:24,261
I think everybody needs a therapist.

480
00:15:24,261 --> 00:15:26,391
I think everybody should go to therapy.

481
00:15:26,391 --> 00:15:28,218
Even if you don't feel like you are

482
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:29,538
struggling with something right now.

483
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:32,646
Even if it's not like I need therapy.

484
00:15:32,676 --> 00:15:33,456
You know what I mean?

485
00:15:33,456 --> 00:15:35,022
I don't think that you will ever

486
00:15:35,022 --> 00:15:37,242
not benefit from having somebody to

487
00:15:37,242 --> 00:15:39,582
talk to that's not biased, that can

488
00:15:39,582 --> 00:15:41,142
help you work through situations.

489
00:15:41,142 --> 00:15:42,852
Even if it's just that you're going

490
00:15:42,852 --> 00:15:44,472
through a hard time at work or.

491
00:15:44,911 --> 00:15:45,961
Kind of what we're talking about.

492
00:15:45,961 --> 00:15:46,681
Like maybe you are

493
00:15:46,681 --> 00:15:47,941
struggling with mom guilt.

494
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,707
I wouldn't say when you're struggling with

495
00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:51,147
those things, most people in your life

496
00:15:51,147 --> 00:15:53,067
are gonna be like, wow, you need therapy.

497
00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:53,332
Right.

498
00:15:53,332 --> 00:15:56,302
But I do think that if you are in therapy

499
00:15:56,302 --> 00:15:57,772
while you're going through those things in

500
00:15:57,772 --> 00:15:59,604
your life, you're gonna benefit from it.

501
00:15:59,604 --> 00:16:01,159
You're never gonna be like, why did I

502
00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:02,779
even sit through that therapy session?

503
00:16:02,869 --> 00:16:03,979
I think you can always

504
00:16:04,124 --> 00:16:05,174
benefit from therapy.

505
00:16:05,234 --> 00:16:05,384
Oh,

506
00:16:05,384 --> 00:16:06,074
for sure.

507
00:16:06,134 --> 00:16:06,644
Yeah.

508
00:16:06,674 --> 00:16:07,904
I think it's like one of those

509
00:16:07,904 --> 00:16:09,074
things where it's just good to

510
00:16:09,074 --> 00:16:11,024
sometimes like say it out loud.

511
00:16:11,150 --> 00:16:11,690
Yeah.

512
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,250
Because I even like the people that submit

513
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,791
stories to me too, like these wedding

514
00:16:14,791 --> 00:16:17,041
drama stories or relationship things.

515
00:16:17,233 --> 00:16:18,583
they always tell me at the end, or

516
00:16:18,583 --> 00:16:19,603
should say like a lot of times at

517
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:20,803
the end they're like, even if you

518
00:16:20,803 --> 00:16:22,513
don't use this, it was really good

519
00:16:22,513 --> 00:16:24,163
for me just to like type it out.

520
00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:25,234
'cause they're like, it allowed

521
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:27,124
me to like see what happened and

522
00:16:27,124 --> 00:16:29,044
understand how I feel about it.

523
00:16:29,246 --> 00:16:30,506
' cause I think so many times, like we're

524
00:16:30,506 --> 00:16:32,546
talking about is like, go, go, go.

525
00:16:32,835 --> 00:16:33,732
What the heck just happened?

526
00:16:33,792 --> 00:16:34,962
Oh, well next problem.

527
00:16:34,962 --> 00:16:36,402
You know, you kind of just push it aside.

528
00:16:36,904 --> 00:16:39,303
So I think it's absolutely so beneficial.

529
00:16:39,483 --> 00:16:40,833
And I think therapy too is way

530
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,573
less stigmatized than it was like

531
00:16:42,573 --> 00:16:44,643
when we were like children maybe.

532
00:16:44,951 --> 00:16:45,423
Yeah.

533
00:16:45,687 --> 00:16:46,583
I've definitely gone to therapy

534
00:16:46,583 --> 00:16:48,233
multiple times in my life at like

535
00:16:48,377 --> 00:16:49,778
different points where stress was

536
00:16:49,778 --> 00:16:51,638
super high or something was going on.

537
00:16:51,816 --> 00:16:53,016
But it's funny, I've told someone

538
00:16:53,016 --> 00:16:54,486
this also in this one before,

539
00:16:54,576 --> 00:16:56,380
probably not on the podcast, but the

540
00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:59,008
last therapist I had, I loved her.

541
00:16:59,008 --> 00:17:00,448
She was great, but she like

542
00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:01,378
dismissed me at the end.

543
00:17:01,378 --> 00:17:01,828
She's like, all right, I

544
00:17:01,828 --> 00:17:02,878
think we solved the problem.

545
00:17:03,028 --> 00:17:03,838
We're gonna be done now.

546
00:17:04,128 --> 00:17:05,778
then, like she just said, I was done.

547
00:17:05,982 --> 00:17:07,302
I remember telling my boss at the

548
00:17:07,302 --> 00:17:08,950
time, 'cause he's really like, open

549
00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:10,300
about therapy and mental health.

550
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:10,510
Yeah.

551
00:17:10,510 --> 00:17:11,478
It's like, I've never

552
00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:12,648
had that happen before.

553
00:17:12,648 --> 00:17:13,728
And I was like, I, that I've never

554
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,108
had that happen to me either.

555
00:17:15,532 --> 00:17:17,872
I've gone to therapy for the past.

556
00:17:17,976 --> 00:17:19,776
I wanna say that I started therapy

557
00:17:19,776 --> 00:17:21,606
in 2020 and I've been seeing

558
00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:23,406
the same therapist since then.

559
00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:26,276
And I've taken breaks, you know, when.

560
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:28,410
I got off my parents' insurance

561
00:17:28,410 --> 00:17:30,824
or whatever and well I

562
00:17:30,824 --> 00:17:31,724
can't afford it right now.

563
00:17:31,724 --> 00:17:32,414
I gotta pay for that.

564
00:17:32,414 --> 00:17:32,825
yeah.

565
00:17:32,825 --> 00:17:34,715
And then gotten back on with her and

566
00:17:34,985 --> 00:17:36,965
yeah, there's never been a time even

567
00:17:36,965 --> 00:17:39,245
when I felt like I was doing well and the

568
00:17:39,245 --> 00:17:41,504
therapy was more of just like a moment

569
00:17:41,504 --> 00:17:43,634
for me to check in with myself, I guess.

570
00:17:44,003 --> 00:17:46,103
Where she's been like, alright, great.

571
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:47,243
The only thing I would say that

572
00:17:47,243 --> 00:17:48,833
she ever says is, do you feel like

573
00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:49,973
we still need to meet monthly?

574
00:17:49,973 --> 00:17:50,813
Or would you wanna maybe

575
00:17:50,813 --> 00:17:52,013
push it out to two months?

576
00:17:52,181 --> 00:17:53,192
That makes sense to me.

577
00:17:53,192 --> 00:17:54,002
But to be like, well,

578
00:17:54,062 --> 00:17:55,142
we solved the problem.

579
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,408
I don't think that therapy always needs

580
00:17:57,408 --> 00:17:59,388
to be, and I'm not saying that it's never

581
00:17:59,388 --> 00:18:01,038
this way, but I don't think that it always

582
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:03,618
needs to be solving the problem to end it.

583
00:18:03,618 --> 00:18:05,928
Because problems keep coming up in life.

584
00:18:05,928 --> 00:18:07,128
Things keep happening.

585
00:18:07,221 --> 00:18:09,159
Who's to say that She didn't say?

586
00:18:09,331 --> 00:18:10,529
you know, we solved the problem.

587
00:18:10,529 --> 00:18:11,129
That's it.

588
00:18:11,309 --> 00:18:13,019
And then a week later you have some

589
00:18:13,019 --> 00:18:14,729
major tragedy happen in your life

590
00:18:14,729 --> 00:18:16,079
and you have nobody to talk to.

591
00:18:16,139 --> 00:18:16,589
Yeah.

592
00:18:16,739 --> 00:18:17,909
I mean, you have friends, you have

593
00:18:17,909 --> 00:18:19,349
family, but you don't have an unbiased

594
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,059
person who knows how you think,

595
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:22,889
knows how you processes things.

596
00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:23,313
Yeah.

597
00:18:23,313 --> 00:18:24,453
So that's, that's kind of odd.

598
00:18:24,453 --> 00:18:24,903
I'm sorry you

599
00:18:24,903 --> 00:18:25,983
had that experience.

600
00:18:26,163 --> 00:18:26,253
Oh yeah.

601
00:18:26,368 --> 00:18:27,063
It was so odd.

602
00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:28,305
I was just like, at the

603
00:18:28,305 --> 00:18:29,475
time I was like, oh, cool.

604
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:31,095
And then later I was like, wait,

605
00:18:31,095 --> 00:18:32,540
is that supposed to happen?

606
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:33,620
I don't know.

607
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:33,940
Yeah.

608
00:18:34,554 --> 00:18:34,944
It was weird.

609
00:18:35,004 --> 00:18:35,844
Maybe I need therapy to

610
00:18:35,844 --> 00:18:36,834
talk about that therapy.

611
00:18:37,164 --> 00:18:37,974
You're like, actually,

612
00:18:38,544 --> 00:18:41,338
actually, anyway, I feel like I got off.

613
00:18:41,394 --> 00:18:42,234
oh, there's no topic.

614
00:18:42,234 --> 00:18:42,534
Whatever.

615
00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:43,314
we're talking

616
00:18:43,464 --> 00:18:44,274
we're yapping.

617
00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:44,844
It's fine.

618
00:18:44,904 --> 00:18:45,504
Yeah.

619
00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:46,306
pause really quick.

620
00:18:46,306 --> 00:18:47,426
I just have a quick question about that.

621
00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,996
So like, what was your first,

622
00:18:49,176 --> 00:18:50,916
symptom you just noticed like your

623
00:18:51,101 --> 00:18:52,991
heart rate would kind of increase

624
00:18:53,776 --> 00:18:54,176
a long time?

625
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:55,721
So I have a little bit of

626
00:18:55,721 --> 00:18:57,731
an odd story kind of when it

627
00:18:57,731 --> 00:18:59,921
comes to my health in general.

628
00:19:00,019 --> 00:19:03,049
so I have always really struggled with,

629
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:05,551
like, exercise was always really difficult

630
00:19:05,551 --> 00:19:07,921
for me and not in the sense of like, I

631
00:19:07,921 --> 00:19:09,721
don't wanna do it, but it would be like,

632
00:19:09,841 --> 00:19:12,421
I don't want to do it as a child and

633
00:19:12,421 --> 00:19:14,258
like I'm running, playing basketball and

634
00:19:14,258 --> 00:19:16,928
I'm great at sports and I'm awesome at

635
00:19:16,928 --> 00:19:19,268
like these things at a young age, but.

636
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,737
I'm having to like ask to get taken out

637
00:19:21,737 --> 00:19:24,977
to take a break and I'm like beat red and

638
00:19:25,037 --> 00:19:27,797
blood pooling in my legs and all that.

639
00:19:27,970 --> 00:19:31,297
I really noticed it amping up

640
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:33,337
after I had my hip replaced.

641
00:19:33,555 --> 00:19:37,062
and I've, POTS is one of a few things

642
00:19:37,062 --> 00:19:39,330
that I deal with, but I mean, I was

643
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:42,000
on, or not even my hip replace, I have

644
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,430
had two hip surgeries on the same hip.

645
00:19:44,580 --> 00:19:47,460
The first one was a like experimental

646
00:19:47,460 --> 00:19:49,290
one to see if we could kind of push off

647
00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:50,880
the replacement so that I wouldn't have

648
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,190
to get multiple throughout my life.

649
00:19:53,585 --> 00:19:55,325
but it only gave me like

650
00:19:55,641 --> 00:19:58,821
four-ish years of relief.

651
00:19:58,986 --> 00:20:00,807
so after that surgery I was

652
00:20:00,807 --> 00:20:02,247
still on the crutches from that

653
00:20:02,247 --> 00:20:04,977
surgery and I actually passed out.

654
00:20:05,222 --> 00:20:07,142
And it was a whole thing.

655
00:20:07,142 --> 00:20:08,072
I was at work.

656
00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:11,558
So I had had my first hip surgery and

657
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:14,517
I actually passed out at work, like

658
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,947
smacked my head off of a counter.

659
00:20:16,947 --> 00:20:18,027
It was a whole thing.

660
00:20:18,207 --> 00:20:19,467
Paramedics had to come.

661
00:20:19,467 --> 00:20:20,864
It was not great.

662
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:23,397
but then I was noticing like it

663
00:20:23,397 --> 00:20:26,427
was just happening a lot more and.

664
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:30,532
Mostly it was like starting to amp up.

665
00:20:30,532 --> 00:20:32,872
The more I was like stressed because

666
00:20:32,872 --> 00:20:35,212
I found out now for me, stress

667
00:20:35,272 --> 00:20:36,982
and the heat are like my biggest

668
00:20:36,982 --> 00:20:39,866
triggers when it comes to my pots.

669
00:20:40,116 --> 00:20:43,056
and so I had a family member pass away

670
00:20:43,061 --> 00:20:45,516
and I had to sing at their funeral.

671
00:20:45,634 --> 00:20:47,793
And I don't even remember the

672
00:20:47,793 --> 00:20:50,553
last like verse that I'm singing.

673
00:20:50,613 --> 00:20:53,163
Thank God I said the words correctly.

674
00:20:53,389 --> 00:20:56,269
but I sang that stepped back.

675
00:20:56,269 --> 00:20:58,519
I was up in the balcony, so thankfully

676
00:20:58,519 --> 00:21:00,289
I wasn't also in front of everybody.

677
00:21:00,289 --> 00:21:01,819
But I like stepped back, looked

678
00:21:01,819 --> 00:21:03,349
over to a family friend and

679
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:05,299
was like, I'm gonna pass out.

680
00:21:05,533 --> 00:21:07,873
She took me downstairs fine.

681
00:21:08,185 --> 00:21:10,435
and then after my second surgery, my

682
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:13,353
hip replacement, that's when a lot of

683
00:21:13,353 --> 00:21:15,303
my other chronic illnesses started.

684
00:21:15,349 --> 00:21:17,299
I also have a condition called mast

685
00:21:17,299 --> 00:21:19,459
cell activation syndrome, which.

686
00:21:19,671 --> 00:21:23,277
Basically for me, your mast are the

687
00:21:23,277 --> 00:21:25,778
cells that kind of check out foreign

688
00:21:25,778 --> 00:21:27,308
invaders, like things coming into the

689
00:21:27,308 --> 00:21:30,098
body and they go, we good or not good?

690
00:21:30,521 --> 00:21:32,141
I'm not a medical professional, so if I'm

691
00:21:32,141 --> 00:21:35,158
saying this wrong, but I do know that they

692
00:21:35,158 --> 00:21:38,428
are the reason that histamine is put out.

693
00:21:38,458 --> 00:21:40,738
And so for me, my mast cells are

694
00:21:40,738 --> 00:21:43,102
kind of always activated, hence

695
00:21:43,132 --> 00:21:44,422
mast cell activation syndrome.

696
00:21:44,755 --> 00:21:47,365
but what that means for me is I've

697
00:21:47,425 --> 00:21:50,966
developed a lot of allergies, and I

698
00:21:50,966 --> 00:21:54,012
can develop new ones to random things

699
00:21:54,012 --> 00:21:56,712
and that might be just, I'm itchy,

700
00:21:56,712 --> 00:21:59,172
but it's also like I go anaphylactic.

701
00:21:59,172 --> 00:22:00,790
So I I've had a whole life

702
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,890
shift because of all of that.

703
00:22:03,183 --> 00:22:06,157
but because of my mast cell

704
00:22:06,157 --> 00:22:08,398
activation syndrome and pots.

705
00:22:08,713 --> 00:22:10,023
If one of them gets mad,

706
00:22:10,023 --> 00:22:11,253
the other one gets mad.

707
00:22:11,418 --> 00:22:13,548
So I've had a couple of times where

708
00:22:13,608 --> 00:22:15,318
I mean, I've passed out quite a bit

709
00:22:15,586 --> 00:22:17,776
and not everyone with POTS will,

710
00:22:17,806 --> 00:22:19,036
that's kind of a misconception.

711
00:22:19,036 --> 00:22:20,296
Like people with pots stand

712
00:22:20,296 --> 00:22:21,526
up and instantly pass out.

713
00:22:21,526 --> 00:22:23,203
That's not typically the case.

714
00:22:23,203 --> 00:22:24,938
Like some people will, but it's

715
00:22:24,938 --> 00:22:27,548
more of like a constant state of

716
00:22:27,638 --> 00:22:29,803
feeling, like out of it, I guess.

717
00:22:29,803 --> 00:22:33,373
Like brain fog is massive with pots.

718
00:22:33,531 --> 00:22:35,299
it affects your entire

719
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,759
autonomic nervous system.

720
00:22:37,969 --> 00:22:40,407
So that's like breathing,

721
00:22:40,407 --> 00:22:42,417
that's like digestion.

722
00:22:42,417 --> 00:22:43,887
That's your heart rate, your

723
00:22:43,887 --> 00:22:46,947
temperature control, things like that.

724
00:22:47,062 --> 00:22:48,502
so it's affected me in a lot of

725
00:22:48,502 --> 00:22:50,812
ways, which is again, when I started

726
00:22:50,812 --> 00:22:52,582
realizing like, okay, this is affecting

727
00:22:52,612 --> 00:22:54,832
me when I'm taking too many weddings.

728
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,412
That's, I really need to step back, but.

729
00:22:57,719 --> 00:23:00,269
Definitely it was like heart racing.

730
00:23:00,365 --> 00:23:01,985
I wear a device that's

731
00:23:01,985 --> 00:23:04,625
called a visible armband.

732
00:23:04,745 --> 00:23:05,855
I'm not wearing it today because I'm

733
00:23:05,855 --> 00:23:09,146
sitting, but it basically will show me

734
00:23:09,146 --> 00:23:10,826
second by second what's going on with

735
00:23:10,826 --> 00:23:12,596
my heart rate and alert me if I've

736
00:23:12,596 --> 00:23:14,981
been in the red zone for too long, if

737
00:23:15,326 --> 00:23:18,594
I am, you know, more opt to, need to

738
00:23:18,594 --> 00:23:20,244
take a break or anything like that.

739
00:23:20,269 --> 00:23:20,849
So, mm-hmm.

740
00:23:20,997 --> 00:23:21,942
I wear that now.

741
00:23:21,942 --> 00:23:23,563
But, yeah, it's not fun.

742
00:23:23,563 --> 00:23:24,793
It's definitely been one of the

743
00:23:24,793 --> 00:23:27,313
most debilitating things for me.

744
00:23:27,465 --> 00:23:29,303
and I think that.

745
00:23:29,873 --> 00:23:30,653
It's something that I

746
00:23:30,653 --> 00:23:32,003
wanna talk more about.

747
00:23:32,003 --> 00:23:33,383
So I'm glad that we get to talk about it

748
00:23:33,383 --> 00:23:35,452
here because we don't, we don't really get

749
00:23:35,452 --> 00:23:38,822
to see much representation of people that

750
00:23:38,822 --> 00:23:41,222
are entrepreneurs that are also dealing

751
00:23:41,222 --> 00:23:43,322
with things like this, or business owners

752
00:23:43,322 --> 00:23:44,612
that are dealing with things like this.

753
00:23:44,612 --> 00:23:47,072
I feel like it's kind of stereotypical

754
00:23:47,072 --> 00:23:49,112
that it's more like you're a boss,

755
00:23:49,112 --> 00:23:51,362
babe, and you're just go, go, go.

756
00:23:51,362 --> 00:23:52,022
Awesome.

757
00:23:52,192 --> 00:23:54,618
And what people don't see with people

758
00:23:54,618 --> 00:23:56,778
like me who are chronically ill or

759
00:23:56,778 --> 00:23:59,942
whatever are, the days that, I mean,

760
00:23:59,942 --> 00:24:01,832
I've even had here, this is, I'm at

761
00:24:01,832 --> 00:24:03,452
my store right now, but I've even had

762
00:24:03,452 --> 00:24:05,793
here where between clients I know I've

763
00:24:05,793 --> 00:24:08,973
got 20 minutes, I am not doing well,

764
00:24:09,098 --> 00:24:11,225
and I'm taking my emergency meds, I'm

765
00:24:11,225 --> 00:24:12,905
laying on the floor with my feet elevated

766
00:24:12,905 --> 00:24:15,515
for 15 minutes and then quick getting

767
00:24:15,515 --> 00:24:17,405
back to it, pushing through that.

768
00:24:17,405 --> 00:24:19,245
And then same thing between clients.

769
00:24:19,245 --> 00:24:20,475
I'm just having to take breaks.

770
00:24:20,641 --> 00:24:21,593
So, yeah.

771
00:24:21,799 --> 00:24:23,059
That was a really long thing,

772
00:24:24,619 --> 00:24:25,249
No, but that's good.

773
00:24:25,249 --> 00:24:26,749
Like you said, it's something that I

774
00:24:26,749 --> 00:24:29,599
think other people can learn more about

775
00:24:29,599 --> 00:24:31,039
and I think be able to see like the

776
00:24:31,039 --> 00:24:33,349
behind the curtain kind of thing Yeah.

777
00:24:33,464 --> 00:24:34,814
it's something that's not talked about a

778
00:24:34,814 --> 00:24:36,254
lot and so that's why I was like really

779
00:24:36,254 --> 00:24:38,293
curious about like your first symptoms

780
00:24:38,293 --> 00:24:40,497
and then kind of how you handle it

781
00:24:40,497 --> 00:24:42,387
now when you know it's like coming on

782
00:24:42,387 --> 00:24:43,767
or, you know, feeling a certain type.

783
00:24:43,901 --> 00:24:47,141
it's hard too because the handling it

784
00:24:47,141 --> 00:24:50,453
thing isn't really like, it's one of

785
00:24:50,453 --> 00:24:53,633
those conditions that there's a huge.

786
00:24:54,263 --> 00:24:55,193
Spectrum.

787
00:24:55,419 --> 00:24:57,713
You could be somebody with pots and if

788
00:24:57,713 --> 00:24:59,453
you're listening to this now and you have

789
00:24:59,453 --> 00:25:01,253
pots that this is the case, please comment

790
00:25:01,253 --> 00:25:03,473
below because I want people to feel not

791
00:25:03,473 --> 00:25:06,054
alone, but you could be somebody with pots

792
00:25:06,144 --> 00:25:09,324
that you are on disability, you can't get

793
00:25:09,324 --> 00:25:11,034
out of bed, you're having people coming

794
00:25:11,034 --> 00:25:14,064
to your house, giving you IV infusions at

795
00:25:14,064 --> 00:25:16,764
home because you physically can't stand.

796
00:25:17,004 --> 00:25:17,094
Mm-hmm.

797
00:25:17,184 --> 00:25:18,654
It can be that severe.

798
00:25:18,772 --> 00:25:21,502
And then there's people like me that are

799
00:25:21,502 --> 00:25:23,002
kind of somewhere in the middle, like

800
00:25:23,249 --> 00:25:25,589
in wedding season, which unfortunately

801
00:25:25,589 --> 00:25:28,072
for me is when here is obviously

802
00:25:28,072 --> 00:25:30,532
like summer fall, when it's warmer.

803
00:25:30,771 --> 00:25:33,561
So I'm getting like at least monthly

804
00:25:33,621 --> 00:25:35,751
infusions, but people aren't seeing that.

805
00:25:35,751 --> 00:25:36,831
I'm not showing that, oh,

806
00:25:36,831 --> 00:25:38,301
come with me to get my iv.

807
00:25:38,721 --> 00:25:38,811
Right.

808
00:25:39,008 --> 00:25:40,748
and then constantly taking

809
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:42,458
salt pills so that my blood

810
00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:45,502
pressure stays somewhat level.

811
00:25:45,679 --> 00:25:46,715
making sure that I'm like

812
00:25:46,745 --> 00:25:48,335
actually forcing myself to take.

813
00:25:48,471 --> 00:25:49,701
Drinks and stuff like that,

814
00:25:49,701 --> 00:25:51,381
working that time into my client's

815
00:25:51,381 --> 00:25:53,001
timelines, things like that.

816
00:25:53,021 --> 00:25:56,039
there's this huge spectrum of pots and

817
00:25:56,306 --> 00:25:59,186
I think that it's becoming more well

818
00:25:59,186 --> 00:26:00,896
known, which I'm really happy about,

819
00:26:01,139 --> 00:26:05,159
but I think that people aren't seeing

820
00:26:05,159 --> 00:26:08,759
enough of working people with it.

821
00:26:09,149 --> 00:26:10,949
And so it can be a little bit

822
00:26:10,949 --> 00:26:12,919
like, oh, well if you have pots,

823
00:26:12,919 --> 00:26:14,419
why aren't you just on disability?

824
00:26:14,689 --> 00:26:16,639
It's not easy to do that.

825
00:26:16,929 --> 00:26:18,369
thank you for letting me talk about that.

826
00:26:18,369 --> 00:26:19,809
I'm really happy that I got

827
00:26:19,809 --> 00:26:20,979
to share that with people.

828
00:26:21,099 --> 00:26:21,999
No, of course.

829
00:26:21,999 --> 00:26:23,919
Yeah, and you make a good point too,

830
00:26:23,919 --> 00:26:26,679
about, I think like in general, when

831
00:26:26,983 --> 00:26:29,199
someone hear about a disability or

832
00:26:29,199 --> 00:26:30,889
an autoimmune, they'll relate to

833
00:26:30,889 --> 00:26:32,569
one person they know and they don't

834
00:26:32,599 --> 00:26:34,309
realize everything is a spectrum.

835
00:26:34,309 --> 00:26:36,849
So some people have very severe

836
00:26:36,849 --> 00:26:38,409
symptoms all the time, like you

837
00:26:38,409 --> 00:26:40,963
said, and some maybe internally

838
00:26:40,963 --> 00:26:42,523
battling every single day.

839
00:26:42,523 --> 00:26:43,758
And some might have smaller

840
00:26:43,758 --> 00:26:44,898
symptoms or, you know.

841
00:26:44,903 --> 00:26:44,913
Yeah.

842
00:26:45,199 --> 00:26:46,398
And so I think it's important to see

843
00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:48,318
that there's a wide span and to just,

844
00:26:48,318 --> 00:26:49,668
you know, give grace to people and kind

845
00:26:49,668 --> 00:26:51,342
understand it every situation might

846
00:26:51,342 --> 00:26:52,722
be a little bit different as well.

847
00:26:52,752 --> 00:26:53,502
Absolutely.

848
00:26:53,742 --> 00:26:54,402
Absolutely.

849
00:26:54,669 --> 00:26:55,719
Thank you for sharing that.

850
00:26:55,719 --> 00:26:57,729
No, I, I was curious 'cause I

851
00:26:57,729 --> 00:26:58,929
didn't really know much about it.

852
00:26:59,259 --> 00:26:59,589
Yeah.

853
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:00,229
Yes.

854
00:27:01,179 --> 00:27:01,479
okay.

855
00:27:01,479 --> 00:27:03,825
So let's get into some of the.

856
00:27:04,655 --> 00:27:06,455
Wedding hot takes before

857
00:27:06,455 --> 00:27:07,475
we get to the story.

858
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:07,690
Mm-hmm.

859
00:27:07,695 --> 00:27:08,465
So, okay.

860
00:27:08,465 --> 00:27:09,515
Started a new thing since

861
00:27:09,515 --> 00:27:10,205
last time, because I don't

862
00:27:10,205 --> 00:27:11,255
think we did this last time.

863
00:27:11,545 --> 00:27:13,195
Red flag or green flag?

864
00:27:14,185 --> 00:27:15,805
Mm. So you're just gonna, I'm gonna

865
00:27:15,805 --> 00:27:17,185
say a sentence and then you'll just

866
00:27:17,185 --> 00:27:18,955
say if it's a red flag or a green flag.

867
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:19,490
Okay.

868
00:27:20,075 --> 00:27:21,545
Replacing a bridesmaid

869
00:27:21,545 --> 00:27:22,595
close to the wedding,

870
00:27:22,892 --> 00:27:24,845
that's a hard one though, because

871
00:27:24,845 --> 00:27:26,735
I guess I know I should, I know you

872
00:27:26,735 --> 00:27:29,582
wanna answer a red flag, green flag.

873
00:27:29,899 --> 00:27:32,119
It really depends on the situation though.

874
00:27:32,809 --> 00:27:32,979
I know, I know.

875
00:27:32,979 --> 00:27:33,859
That's a hard one.

876
00:27:34,062 --> 00:27:37,672
So, as a vendor, I would say  maybe

877
00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:41,521
red flag for planning purposes

878
00:27:41,711 --> 00:27:44,081
and like scheduling purposes,

879
00:27:44,381 --> 00:27:45,701
depending on how close, like if

880
00:27:45,701 --> 00:27:47,321
it's the day before, like Right.

881
00:27:47,321 --> 00:27:48,521
That can be a little bit like

882
00:27:48,521 --> 00:27:50,704
jarring, but I don't wanna say

883
00:27:50,704 --> 00:27:52,474
it's a full red flag because.

884
00:27:52,856 --> 00:27:55,046
If that person in your bridal party

885
00:27:55,046 --> 00:27:57,626
was going to be chaotic or causing

886
00:27:57,626 --> 00:28:00,026
you tons of stress, or maybe there's

887
00:28:00,026 --> 00:28:02,176
been a massive falling out green

888
00:28:02,176 --> 00:28:03,826
flag, please don't have them there.

889
00:28:03,826 --> 00:28:04,696
I don't wanna have to

890
00:28:04,696 --> 00:28:05,986
be around that either.

891
00:28:05,986 --> 00:28:07,826
I don't wanna be set in that stressful

892
00:28:07,826 --> 00:28:08,876
situation and I don't want my

893
00:28:08,876 --> 00:28:10,706
client in that stressful situation.

894
00:28:10,706 --> 00:28:11,961
So, man, that's a hard one.

895
00:28:12,273 --> 00:28:13,983
I would say that really depends, but I'm

896
00:28:13,983 --> 00:28:15,633
leaning, I guess, more towards green.

897
00:28:16,233 --> 00:28:16,683
I know.

898
00:28:16,683 --> 00:28:17,373
I feel the same way.

899
00:28:17,373 --> 00:28:19,383
I feel like a lot of these scenarios,

900
00:28:19,383 --> 00:28:21,446
there's so much, like so many

901
00:28:21,446 --> 00:28:22,556
details that could change it.

902
00:28:22,556 --> 00:28:22,616
Yeah.

903
00:28:22,953 --> 00:28:25,533
It's like everyone's perspective and Yeah.

904
00:28:25,863 --> 00:28:27,213
Expecting attendance at

905
00:28:27,213 --> 00:28:28,503
every pre-wedding event.

906
00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:30,512
So the brides like you have to come to the

907
00:28:30,512 --> 00:28:32,372
engagement party, the shower, all that.

908
00:28:32,402 --> 00:28:34,082
No, that's a red flag to me.

909
00:28:34,082 --> 00:28:35,762
You can't expect everyone to

910
00:28:35,762 --> 00:28:37,592
be everywhere all the time.

911
00:28:37,895 --> 00:28:39,695
I think that what people lose

912
00:28:39,695 --> 00:28:41,675
the plot on a lot when they're

913
00:28:41,675 --> 00:28:43,535
brides is thinking that.

914
00:28:44,246 --> 00:28:45,896
I think when you're a bride, that

915
00:28:45,896 --> 00:28:47,516
is the most important thing to you.

916
00:28:47,516 --> 00:28:48,926
That's what the majority of your

917
00:28:48,926 --> 00:28:51,206
planning is going towards for

918
00:28:51,206 --> 00:28:53,516
at least a year in most cases.

919
00:28:53,593 --> 00:28:54,883
that's like end goal,

920
00:28:54,883 --> 00:28:55,993
most important thing.

921
00:28:56,304 --> 00:28:57,624
think of the times that you've

922
00:28:57,624 --> 00:28:58,674
been in a wedding though.

923
00:28:58,797 --> 00:29:00,874
Maybe if it's like your best, best

924
00:29:00,874 --> 00:29:02,614
friend, but like life goes on,

925
00:29:02,614 --> 00:29:04,294
you have other things going on.

926
00:29:04,344 --> 00:29:06,084
maybe somebody in your bridal

927
00:29:06,084 --> 00:29:07,464
party or an attendant or something.

928
00:29:07,464 --> 00:29:08,634
Maybe they have somebody

929
00:29:08,634 --> 00:29:09,444
else getting married.

930
00:29:09,444 --> 00:29:10,284
They can't come.

931
00:29:10,284 --> 00:29:11,754
Like you can't expect people to

932
00:29:11,754 --> 00:29:13,764
just always, always be there.

933
00:29:13,844 --> 00:29:14,984
Is it nice?

934
00:29:15,184 --> 00:29:15,874
Yes.

935
00:29:16,064 --> 00:29:18,147
But I would never hold it against somebody

936
00:29:18,147 --> 00:29:19,647
if they couldn't come to something.

937
00:29:19,647 --> 00:29:22,497
I had people RSVP yes to my wedding.

938
00:29:22,587 --> 00:29:23,727
I had a very small wedding.

939
00:29:23,727 --> 00:29:25,467
We had like 50 people.

940
00:29:25,467 --> 00:29:25,557
Mm-hmm.

941
00:29:25,692 --> 00:29:27,987
And I had people very close to me.

942
00:29:27,987 --> 00:29:28,677
RSVP.

943
00:29:28,677 --> 00:29:29,127
Yes.

944
00:29:29,387 --> 00:29:31,457
And they couldn't come because of X,

945
00:29:31,457 --> 00:29:34,224
Y, or Z was I like, oh, that sucks.

946
00:29:34,930 --> 00:29:36,674
But I wasn't like, oh my gosh, I'm

947
00:29:36,674 --> 00:29:38,460
never talking to that person again.

948
00:29:38,460 --> 00:29:39,990
I can't believe they wouldn't come.

949
00:29:39,990 --> 00:29:41,154
Like that's a little

950
00:29:41,154 --> 00:29:42,174
bit of a red flag to me.

951
00:29:42,324 --> 00:29:42,714
I know.

952
00:29:42,714 --> 00:29:43,974
It always gets lost on me when they're

953
00:29:43,974 --> 00:29:46,240
like, you must attend every single thing.

954
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:47,980
My wedding's the priority and I'm like, I

955
00:29:47,980 --> 00:29:50,894
realize that everyone else has lives too.

956
00:29:50,984 --> 00:29:52,807
My wedding is yeah, it's important to

957
00:29:52,807 --> 00:29:54,787
me, but like I don't expect it to be

958
00:29:54,787 --> 00:29:56,377
the most important thing to everybody

959
00:29:56,377 --> 00:29:58,447
else or anybody else for that matter.

960
00:29:58,447 --> 00:29:58,537
No.

961
00:29:58,650 --> 00:29:58,980
Yeah.

962
00:29:59,035 --> 00:29:59,995
I mean, that's crazy.

963
00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:01,433
Like I have friends that couldn't

964
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:02,603
come to the Bachelorette or the

965
00:30:02,603 --> 00:30:04,613
shower and I was like, right, your

966
00:30:04,613 --> 00:30:06,623
family, your health, your whatever

967
00:30:06,623 --> 00:30:08,243
you're going through goes, it's first.

968
00:30:08,757 --> 00:30:09,447
Exactly.

969
00:30:09,447 --> 00:30:10,257
We'll, we will live.

970
00:30:11,831 --> 00:30:12,281
okay.

971
00:30:12,381 --> 00:30:14,964
cash bars, red or green cash

972
00:30:14,964 --> 00:30:15,774
bars.

973
00:30:15,994 --> 00:30:17,224
Yeah, I haven't really been to a

974
00:30:17,224 --> 00:30:18,864
wedding where that's been the case.

975
00:30:19,074 --> 00:30:21,384
So Cash Bar explained to me, just

976
00:30:21,384 --> 00:30:23,000
to make sure I'm that's where

977
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:25,245
you're like paying to add alcohol?

978
00:30:25,245 --> 00:30:25,605
Yeah, there's

979
00:30:25,605 --> 00:30:26,400
just, yeah, they don't, they

980
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,840
probably don't provide any drinks.

981
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,730
I've never been to a full cash bar either.

982
00:30:29,730 --> 00:30:31,620
Usually at least there's or something.

983
00:30:31,620 --> 00:30:32,970
But yeah, it's just like

984
00:30:32,970 --> 00:30:34,350
there's no drinks provided.

985
00:30:34,350 --> 00:30:35,005
I would say, um,

986
00:30:35,297 --> 00:30:37,187
I would say that's a little bit of

987
00:30:37,187 --> 00:30:40,007
a red flag if it's fully a cash bar.

988
00:30:40,007 --> 00:30:41,742
Like if you're not providing any

989
00:30:41,742 --> 00:30:43,422
sort of refreshments, like that would

990
00:30:43,422 --> 00:30:45,132
kind of be a little bit alarming.

991
00:30:45,192 --> 00:30:46,122
You have to have something

992
00:30:46,122 --> 00:30:47,172
for somebody to drink.

993
00:30:47,409 --> 00:30:49,570
but if it's cash bar.

994
00:30:49,897 --> 00:30:51,727
Just for, I guess that's also

995
00:30:51,727 --> 00:30:52,537
a little bit hard though.

996
00:30:52,537 --> 00:30:53,707
Like my family doesn't really

997
00:30:53,707 --> 00:30:56,510
drink, so it would be like,

998
00:30:56,510 --> 00:30:58,580
we had nothing at my wedding.

999
00:30:58,580 --> 00:30:59,517
So I don't know.

1000
00:30:59,517 --> 00:31:00,657
I think that kind of just

1001
00:31:00,657 --> 00:31:02,347
depends on the person.

1002
00:31:02,347 --> 00:31:04,867
I think that if your family is somebody

1003
00:31:04,867 --> 00:31:06,607
that you are people that you know

1004
00:31:06,607 --> 00:31:08,164
are gonna drink, and you know that

1005
00:31:08,164 --> 00:31:11,197
maybe you can't provide that much.

1006
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,350
I mean, maybe having like a set

1007
00:31:13,494 --> 00:31:16,554
drink or something that is free or

1008
00:31:16,704 --> 00:31:18,354
included with the wedding, and then

1009
00:31:18,354 --> 00:31:19,374
maybe if there's something like

1010
00:31:19,374 --> 00:31:21,491
extra that somebody wants, Right.

1011
00:31:21,752 --> 00:31:22,192
I don't know.

1012
00:31:22,192 --> 00:31:23,347
Yeah, I've just not been

1013
00:31:23,347 --> 00:31:24,337
to something like that.

1014
00:31:24,477 --> 00:31:24,807
Yeah.

1015
00:31:24,807 --> 00:31:26,537
And I feel like if they're, yeah,

1016
00:31:26,537 --> 00:31:28,007
if they're not providing anything,

1017
00:31:28,007 --> 00:31:29,537
like no kind of refreshment,

1018
00:31:29,567 --> 00:31:31,312
I'm talking even non-alcoholic.

1019
00:31:31,466 --> 00:31:31,826
Yeah.

1020
00:31:31,831 --> 00:31:33,566
So if they're not providing anything and

1021
00:31:33,566 --> 00:31:35,036
expecting nice people to come, then sure.

1022
00:31:35,036 --> 00:31:36,296
That's a little bit of a red flag If

1023
00:31:36,296 --> 00:31:38,429
they expect everybody to like pay for

1024
00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:40,169
food and drinks once they're there.

1025
00:31:40,229 --> 00:31:40,379
Right.

1026
00:31:41,129 --> 00:31:42,569
But if it's like, oh,

1027
00:31:42,569 --> 00:31:43,649
we're just talking like.

1028
00:31:43,816 --> 00:31:46,306
Your aunt prefers like this really fancy

1029
00:31:46,306 --> 00:31:48,196
vodka, then Yeah, I think it's a red

1030
00:31:48,196 --> 00:31:50,639
flag that, yeah, have them pay for it.

1031
00:31:50,639 --> 00:31:50,939
Like

1032
00:31:50,969 --> 00:31:52,079
I totally agree.

1033
00:31:52,079 --> 00:31:53,309
That's exactly what I think.

1034
00:31:53,309 --> 00:31:53,489
Board.

1035
00:31:53,599 --> 00:31:53,839
right.

1036
00:31:53,839 --> 00:31:54,409
Doesn't need to be an

1037
00:31:54,409 --> 00:31:55,309
open bar or anything.

1038
00:31:55,556 --> 00:31:57,652
okay, last one.

1039
00:31:57,802 --> 00:32:00,052
Announcing a pregnancy at the wedding.

1040
00:32:00,526 --> 00:32:00,616
Oof.

1041
00:32:00,976 --> 00:32:03,382
To me girl, that's gonna be a red flag.

1042
00:32:03,382 --> 00:32:06,568
That is unless the only time I can

1043
00:32:06,568 --> 00:32:10,078
ever see it be okay is one, it's the

1044
00:32:10,078 --> 00:32:12,208
couple announcing that they're pregnant.

1045
00:32:12,508 --> 00:32:16,775
obviously, or if it's been super well

1046
00:32:16,775 --> 00:32:20,075
discussed and maybe the couple has asked

1047
00:32:20,255 --> 00:32:22,752
for this to happen there otherwise.

1048
00:32:23,060 --> 00:32:23,210
Die.

1049
00:32:23,420 --> 00:32:24,650
That's, yes.

1050
00:32:25,014 --> 00:32:26,754
So I probably wouldn't do that.

1051
00:32:27,607 --> 00:32:28,807
that's crazy To me, that's

1052
00:32:28,807 --> 00:32:29,827
like one of those things I didn't

1053
00:32:29,827 --> 00:32:32,317
even know that was a thing until I

1054
00:32:32,317 --> 00:32:33,937
started getting story submissions.

1055
00:32:33,967 --> 00:32:34,027
Yeah.

1056
00:32:34,597 --> 00:32:37,577
And the amount of times where it's like

1057
00:32:37,670 --> 00:32:40,310
someone wants to announce someone else's

1058
00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:42,427
pregnancy at the wedding, like once

1059
00:32:42,427 --> 00:32:44,727
where I read was like the,  mother-in-law

1060
00:32:44,727 --> 00:32:47,007
wanted to announce the younger brothers.

1061
00:32:47,407 --> 00:32:48,157
His girlfriends.

1062
00:32:48,247 --> 00:32:48,967
Oh, I think I saw

1063
00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:50,107
your story about that.

1064
00:32:50,107 --> 00:32:50,467
Yeah.

1065
00:32:50,497 --> 00:32:52,027
Yeah, that was one.

1066
00:32:52,027 --> 00:32:52,867
And then there was another one like

1067
00:32:52,867 --> 00:32:54,157
last year that was like kind of

1068
00:32:54,157 --> 00:32:55,417
similar where the couple, well they

1069
00:32:55,477 --> 00:32:57,157
asked the couple and the couple said

1070
00:32:57,157 --> 00:33:00,229
no, and they mom Oh, then media red

1071
00:33:00,299 --> 00:33:00,589
flag.

1072
00:33:00,779 --> 00:33:01,069
Yeah.

1073
00:33:01,069 --> 00:33:01,269
Yeah.

1074
00:33:01,269 --> 00:33:01,594
The mom

1075
00:33:01,594 --> 00:33:03,394
was still bringing in like a, box to

1076
00:33:03,394 --> 00:33:05,464
like surprise everybody with, and then

1077
00:33:05,464 --> 00:33:07,144
still did like a mini celebration of

1078
00:33:07,144 --> 00:33:08,794
the table even after they said, no.

1079
00:33:08,957 --> 00:33:09,707
That's wild.

1080
00:33:09,707 --> 00:33:10,097
To me.

1081
00:33:10,115 --> 00:33:12,451
that's up there with if somebody is

1082
00:33:12,451 --> 00:33:14,191
getting married and they're like,

1083
00:33:14,347 --> 00:33:16,687
Hey, photographer, my husband and

1084
00:33:16,687 --> 00:33:19,027
I just got engaged like this week.

1085
00:33:19,027 --> 00:33:20,407
Could you take some engagement

1086
00:33:20,407 --> 00:33:22,414
photos at this person's wedding?

1087
00:33:22,444 --> 00:33:22,534
Yes.

1088
00:33:22,534 --> 00:33:24,511
Like it's that level to me where

1089
00:33:24,511 --> 00:33:26,221
it's just a common courtesy

1090
00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:28,437
thing to like not do that.

1091
00:33:28,677 --> 00:33:28,767
Mm-hmm.

1092
00:33:29,037 --> 00:33:30,147
I mean, I wouldn't, even if

1093
00:33:30,147 --> 00:33:32,004
I was at somebody's like.

1094
00:33:32,089 --> 00:33:33,499
They just graduated college.

1095
00:33:33,499 --> 00:33:34,879
We're having this really fun party.

1096
00:33:34,879 --> 00:33:36,739
I wouldn't be like, Hey guys,

1097
00:33:36,739 --> 00:33:38,896
by the way, make this about me.

1098
00:33:38,896 --> 00:33:40,833
Like there's moments in life

1099
00:33:40,893 --> 00:33:42,483
where it's not about you.

1100
00:33:42,878 --> 00:33:43,038
Yeah.

1101
00:33:43,043 --> 00:33:45,393
I think that's a big thing to remember

1102
00:33:45,393 --> 00:33:47,913
is sometimes it's not your turn.

1103
00:33:48,010 --> 00:33:48,370
Yeah.

1104
00:33:48,370 --> 00:33:49,510
It's this person's turn,

1105
00:33:49,510 --> 00:33:50,710
it's their moment to shine.

1106
00:33:50,710 --> 00:33:52,660
And unless they are super,

1107
00:33:52,660 --> 00:33:54,880
like, please, I want you to

1108
00:33:55,127 --> 00:33:56,117
just let them shine.

1109
00:33:56,717 --> 00:33:58,037
It's just, it's just rude.

1110
00:33:58,307 --> 00:33:59,327
It's just rude.

1111
00:33:59,357 --> 00:33:59,927
Yeah.

1112
00:33:59,927 --> 00:34:00,767
We don't need to always

1113
00:34:00,767 --> 00:34:02,447
turn it back to us.

1114
00:34:02,447 --> 00:34:02,537
Right,

1115
00:34:03,227 --> 00:34:03,707
right.

1116
00:34:03,890 --> 00:34:04,730
Oh my gosh.

1117
00:34:04,820 --> 00:34:05,210
Okay.

1118
00:34:05,547 --> 00:34:05,967
All right.

1119
00:34:06,207 --> 00:34:07,677
I'm gonna do a couple of, would you

1120
00:34:07,677 --> 00:34:09,237
rathers and then we'll get into our story.

1121
00:34:09,297 --> 00:34:09,327
Okay.

1122
00:34:09,327 --> 00:34:10,377
These are like more like

1123
00:34:10,644 --> 00:34:12,581
makeup kind of, focus.

1124
00:34:12,611 --> 00:34:12,941
Okay.

1125
00:34:13,181 --> 00:34:16,108
Would you rather start glam at 5:00 AM or

1126
00:34:16,108 --> 00:34:18,598
be rushing to put lipstick on in the car?

1127
00:34:18,921 --> 00:34:21,081
Oh, definitely start glam at 5:00

1128
00:34:21,081 --> 00:34:22,935
AM I don't like feeling rushed.

1129
00:34:23,715 --> 00:34:24,315
I hate it.

1130
00:34:24,315 --> 00:34:25,695
It makes me so stressed

1131
00:34:25,695 --> 00:34:27,458
and anxious and my luck.

1132
00:34:27,458 --> 00:34:28,748
I'm gonna like, think that I'm

1133
00:34:28,748 --> 00:34:30,098
putting it on good and then I get

1134
00:34:30,098 --> 00:34:31,448
out and I'm looking like the joker.

1135
00:34:31,448 --> 00:34:33,128
Like I just, no, I would

1136
00:34:33,128 --> 00:34:34,328
rather start earlier.

1137
00:34:35,228 --> 00:34:35,498
My gosh.

1138
00:34:35,498 --> 00:34:36,128
Totally.

1139
00:34:36,377 --> 00:34:38,017
I think I said this before, but like when

1140
00:34:38,017 --> 00:34:39,907
I was in a lot of weddings, I always felt

1141
00:34:39,907 --> 00:34:41,617
like they put me at the earliest slot.

1142
00:34:41,647 --> 00:34:42,157
'cause they're like, oh,

1143
00:34:42,157 --> 00:34:43,207
we know you wake up early.

1144
00:34:43,267 --> 00:34:44,467
That was also Preki.

1145
00:34:44,900 --> 00:34:46,370
they're like, we know you wake up early.

1146
00:34:46,370 --> 00:34:47,540
So I'd be like in my

1147
00:34:47,540 --> 00:34:48,950
chair, like half asleep.

1148
00:34:49,084 --> 00:34:51,094
But I did like just being done and then I

1149
00:34:51,094 --> 00:34:52,804
could just like hang out with everybody.

1150
00:34:52,930 --> 00:34:53,050
Yeah.

1151
00:34:53,050 --> 00:34:54,670
I didn't have to rush or worry.

1152
00:34:54,670 --> 00:34:55,450
Like, 'cause sometimes being

1153
00:34:55,450 --> 00:34:56,560
some of the later ones, you're

1154
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,114
like, are we gonna have time?

1155
00:34:58,114 --> 00:34:59,134
Or you're like, oh, a

1156
00:34:59,134 --> 00:35:00,034
hundred percent.

1157
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:00,850
Yeah.

1158
00:35:00,970 --> 00:35:03,100
And for me too, like what I like

1159
00:35:03,100 --> 00:35:04,990
to do personally to avoid that.

1160
00:35:04,990 --> 00:35:05,890
And if you're a makeup artist

1161
00:35:05,890 --> 00:35:08,050
listening, I always, let's say they

1162
00:35:08,050 --> 00:35:10,270
tell me they need to be done by

1163
00:35:10,300 --> 00:35:13,064
three, we're gonna be done by two.

1164
00:35:13,190 --> 00:35:15,080
Like I wanna give that little

1165
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:17,480
bit of wiggle room for touch-ups.

1166
00:35:17,717 --> 00:35:19,610
Maybe there was an emotional

1167
00:35:19,610 --> 00:35:21,095
gift that somebody was given

1168
00:35:21,260 --> 00:35:23,150
and like they completely like,

1169
00:35:23,484 --> 00:35:25,164
I wanna have time for things.

1170
00:35:25,164 --> 00:35:26,337
People get stuck in

1171
00:35:26,337 --> 00:35:27,627
traffic, things happen.

1172
00:35:27,627 --> 00:35:29,287
So always give yourself a

1173
00:35:29,287 --> 00:35:30,727
little bit of extra time.

1174
00:35:30,727 --> 00:35:33,367
And for any brides or somebody that's

1175
00:35:33,367 --> 00:35:35,107
getting married, that's listening, just

1176
00:35:35,107 --> 00:35:36,907
because when you are getting ready on

1177
00:35:36,907 --> 00:35:38,782
the every day, it might take you an

1178
00:35:38,782 --> 00:35:40,507
hour and a half to do hair and makeup.

1179
00:35:40,677 --> 00:35:42,537
Please know, wedding time

1180
00:35:42,567 --> 00:35:44,547
is, its whole different.

1181
00:35:44,937 --> 00:35:47,337
Thing like it is so different.

1182
00:35:47,537 --> 00:35:49,277
You might be thinking, wow, my makeup

1183
00:35:49,277 --> 00:35:51,407
artist wants to start at 7:00 AM We

1184
00:35:51,407 --> 00:35:53,057
don't have to be done till three.

1185
00:35:53,057 --> 00:35:54,077
That's crazy.

1186
00:35:54,234 --> 00:35:56,034
And then when you're getting done,

1187
00:35:56,034 --> 00:35:58,764
you're like, how has the day flown by?

1188
00:35:58,764 --> 00:36:00,834
How have we, like where did that go?

1189
00:36:01,004 --> 00:36:03,914
That's what I hear 99%

1190
00:36:03,919 --> 00:36:04,994
of the time at weddings.

1191
00:36:04,994 --> 00:36:06,374
It is just like, whoa.

1192
00:36:06,374 --> 00:36:08,234
That day went by so fast.

1193
00:36:08,234 --> 00:36:09,044
Like, ah.

1194
00:36:09,247 --> 00:36:11,124
So always give yourself a little extra

1195
00:36:11,124 --> 00:36:11,994
time that you think, I know it's,

1196
00:36:12,054 --> 00:36:13,284
you don't think of like the random

1197
00:36:13,284 --> 00:36:15,114
person popping in to say hello

1198
00:36:15,114 --> 00:36:16,554
and like, yes, you step by or

1199
00:36:16,554 --> 00:36:18,414
setting up food for your brides.

1200
00:36:18,534 --> 00:36:18,804
You know?

1201
00:36:18,804 --> 00:36:20,184
You just don't think those little things.

1202
00:36:20,184 --> 00:36:21,264
You don't think about it running to the

1203
00:36:21,264 --> 00:36:23,244
bathroom, oh, I forgot this in my room.

1204
00:36:23,244 --> 00:36:24,294
Like Exactly.

1205
00:36:24,294 --> 00:36:25,584
There's always something.

1206
00:36:25,584 --> 00:36:25,974
So

1207
00:36:26,034 --> 00:36:26,754
something.

1208
00:36:26,754 --> 00:36:27,024
Yes.

1209
00:36:27,024 --> 00:36:27,234
Yeah.

1210
00:36:27,627 --> 00:36:29,877
would you rather a bridesmaid hate her

1211
00:36:29,877 --> 00:36:33,057
makeup or refuse the look and do her own?

1212
00:36:33,300 --> 00:36:34,830
would I rather bridesmaid hate their

1213
00:36:34,830 --> 00:36:37,547
makeup or when you say refuse their look

1214
00:36:37,547 --> 00:36:38,687
and do their own, like, they just are

1215
00:36:38,687 --> 00:36:40,112
like, I don't want you to do my makeup.

1216
00:36:40,122 --> 00:36:40,512
Don't want,

1217
00:36:40,667 --> 00:36:41,237
yeah.

1218
00:36:41,427 --> 00:36:42,777
I'd rather them do their own.

1219
00:36:42,777 --> 00:36:44,397
Like if they're gonna hate it the way

1220
00:36:44,397 --> 00:36:46,804
that I do it, you don't need me to do it.

1221
00:36:46,864 --> 00:36:47,954
Like, if you're good at what you're

1222
00:36:47,954 --> 00:36:49,754
gonna do and you're already happy with

1223
00:36:49,754 --> 00:36:51,434
how you do your makeup, don't feel

1224
00:36:51,434 --> 00:36:53,294
like you have to get your makeup done.

1225
00:36:53,384 --> 00:36:54,944
I I would rather that, because that

1226
00:36:54,944 --> 00:36:57,854
just puts anxiety on everybody that day.

1227
00:36:58,034 --> 00:36:59,234
The person getting their makeup

1228
00:36:59,234 --> 00:37:01,317
done is gonna go into it knowing

1229
00:37:01,317 --> 00:37:02,937
that they're gonna hate it probably.

1230
00:37:02,937 --> 00:37:05,277
Or just I know my features better.

1231
00:37:05,277 --> 00:37:06,987
I've never liked my makeup

1232
00:37:06,987 --> 00:37:08,127
done by somebody else.

1233
00:37:08,297 --> 00:37:09,677
They're gonna go into it that way.

1234
00:37:09,834 --> 00:37:11,484
The makeup artist is gonna be thinking

1235
00:37:11,484 --> 00:37:13,224
of all the ways that they can try to make

1236
00:37:13,224 --> 00:37:16,074
that not happen and make the person happy

1237
00:37:16,240 --> 00:37:18,160
just for them to not be happy in the end.

1238
00:37:18,297 --> 00:37:18,567
Yeah.

1239
00:37:18,567 --> 00:37:20,037
If you know you're somebody that

1240
00:37:20,037 --> 00:37:21,207
you just don't like getting your

1241
00:37:21,207 --> 00:37:22,647
makeup done by somebody else.

1242
00:37:23,075 --> 00:37:25,175
Just do it yourself, even if you

1243
00:37:25,175 --> 00:37:27,808
are the bride, the groom, whoever.

1244
00:37:27,808 --> 00:37:28,828
Like just do it yourself.

1245
00:37:28,828 --> 00:37:29,338
It doesn't,

1246
00:37:29,538 --> 00:37:30,108
yeah.

1247
00:37:30,238 --> 00:37:31,438
I feel like if you're like super

1248
00:37:31,438 --> 00:37:33,514
picky, you need to just do it yourself

1249
00:37:33,514 --> 00:37:34,204
if you know what you're doing.

1250
00:37:34,507 --> 00:37:36,067
yeah, know yourself in those moments.

1251
00:37:36,097 --> 00:37:37,694
'cause like when I'm a bridesmaid,

1252
00:37:37,754 --> 00:37:39,404
I love getting my makeup done.

1253
00:37:39,454 --> 00:37:41,194
I just trust the makeup artist.

1254
00:37:41,194 --> 00:37:42,364
I'm like, you know what you're doing.

1255
00:37:42,650 --> 00:37:43,790
but I have friends that like, they're

1256
00:37:43,790 --> 00:37:45,380
just very particular and they're just

1257
00:37:45,380 --> 00:37:46,970
good at their own makeup and they do it.

1258
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:48,800
like about knowing yourself.

1259
00:37:48,914 --> 00:37:49,934
Absolutely.

1260
00:37:50,024 --> 00:37:52,904
For myself, like I did my own makeup on

1261
00:37:52,904 --> 00:37:56,044
my wedding day and that was because I

1262
00:37:56,044 --> 00:37:58,384
enjoy the process of putting makeup on.

1263
00:37:58,384 --> 00:38:01,264
I enjoy doing it myself.

1264
00:38:01,454 --> 00:38:04,184
But if I were somebody that didn't

1265
00:38:04,184 --> 00:38:05,744
enjoy that and you're like, man,

1266
00:38:05,744 --> 00:38:07,784
every time I do my makeup, I hate it.

1267
00:38:07,934 --> 00:38:10,004
Get somebody do your makeup for you.

1268
00:38:10,130 --> 00:38:10,550
Yeah.

1269
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,127
Even if it's like, I can't

1270
00:38:12,127 --> 00:38:13,117
afford a makeup artist.

1271
00:38:13,117 --> 00:38:14,587
Maybe you have a really talented

1272
00:38:14,587 --> 00:38:16,177
friend or something that does makeup

1273
00:38:16,177 --> 00:38:18,547
really well, it's okay to do that too.

1274
00:38:18,734 --> 00:38:19,634
You don't have to.

1275
00:38:19,634 --> 00:38:21,104
But on the flip, don't think

1276
00:38:21,104 --> 00:38:22,004
like we're saying that you

1277
00:38:22,004 --> 00:38:23,954
have to have a makeup artist.

1278
00:38:23,954 --> 00:38:25,664
If you're like, I'm good at what I do.

1279
00:38:25,824 --> 00:38:27,474
It's not a necessity.

1280
00:38:27,614 --> 00:38:28,754
You don't need a makeup

1281
00:38:28,754 --> 00:38:30,194
artist to get married.

1282
00:38:30,354 --> 00:38:33,230
You need a officiant, you need a

1283
00:38:33,230 --> 00:38:35,390
venue, you need a wedding dress.

1284
00:38:35,494 --> 00:38:37,050
Those are needs, this

1285
00:38:37,050 --> 00:38:39,074
is wants and luxuries.

1286
00:38:39,074 --> 00:38:40,424
You don't have to have it.

1287
00:38:40,694 --> 00:38:42,014
Right, totally.

1288
00:38:42,294 --> 00:38:44,124
would you rather one bridesmaid be

1289
00:38:44,214 --> 00:38:46,614
45 minutes late or one bridesmaid be

1290
00:38:46,644 --> 00:38:48,924
overly controlling about the schedule?

1291
00:38:49,261 --> 00:38:50,311
I would definitely have somebody

1292
00:38:50,311 --> 00:38:51,391
that's maybe a little bit more

1293
00:38:51,391 --> 00:38:53,644
controlling about the schedule because.

1294
00:38:53,878 --> 00:38:55,498
I'd rather have somebody that's on

1295
00:38:55,498 --> 00:38:59,021
me about the times and whatnot versus

1296
00:38:59,021 --> 00:39:02,231
somebody who is just so nonchalant than I

1297
00:39:02,231 --> 00:39:04,211
am anxious, everything's running behind.

1298
00:39:04,211 --> 00:39:05,951
I'm probably gonna get blamed for

1299
00:39:05,951 --> 00:39:07,481
the fact that things are behind, even

1300
00:39:07,481 --> 00:39:09,431
though I didn't do anything wrong.

1301
00:39:09,634 --> 00:39:10,984
I'd rather have somebody way

1302
00:39:10,984 --> 00:39:12,364
more on me about the time,

1303
00:39:12,364 --> 00:39:14,851
because me personally like I am.

1304
00:39:14,851 --> 00:39:17,228
So it might not seem it if you're any

1305
00:39:17,228 --> 00:39:20,011
of my clients watching this now, but in

1306
00:39:20,011 --> 00:39:23,094
that moment, I mean, what I do, and this

1307
00:39:23,094 --> 00:39:25,014
is a little tip too, for makeup artists,

1308
00:39:25,014 --> 00:39:27,834
for weddings, like I set my schedule.

1309
00:39:27,956 --> 00:39:30,933
as my lock screen for a wedding.

1310
00:39:30,933 --> 00:39:30,963
Okay.

1311
00:39:31,023 --> 00:39:32,913
And I'm, every couple little bit, I'm

1312
00:39:32,913 --> 00:39:35,576
clicking it to see, to make sure that

1313
00:39:35,576 --> 00:39:38,160
I'm good and to somebody, it just looks

1314
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,660
like I'm checking the time, but I'm

1315
00:39:39,660 --> 00:39:41,820
really like seeing how I'm doing on time.

1316
00:39:41,820 --> 00:39:43,580
So shoot, if somebody wants to

1317
00:39:43,580 --> 00:39:45,713
be the little voice in my head

1318
00:39:45,713 --> 00:39:48,063
that's already happening when I'm

1319
00:39:48,063 --> 00:39:50,043
doing this, like, sure, I'd rather

1320
00:39:50,043 --> 00:39:51,633
have that than somebody be late.

1321
00:39:51,773 --> 00:39:53,423
Yeah, I love that because yeah, it's

1322
00:39:53,423 --> 00:39:55,073
like when bridesmaid be a little late,

1323
00:39:55,073 --> 00:39:56,470
but they don't always realize how much

1324
00:39:56,470 --> 00:39:57,880
that could push back everybody else.

1325
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:58,870
Especially like, what if it's a

1326
00:39:58,870 --> 00:39:59,890
wedding where there's only three

1327
00:39:59,890 --> 00:40:01,397
or four bridesmaids than you're

1328
00:40:01,397 --> 00:40:03,167
kind of reshuffling everybody.

1329
00:40:03,237 --> 00:40:05,277
But it's good to have that schedule.

1330
00:40:05,277 --> 00:40:06,717
Like when I'm, when I've been hired

1331
00:40:06,717 --> 00:40:08,297
for like Day of Coordinators, I'm

1332
00:40:08,297 --> 00:40:09,987
like on it, I'm the same as you.

1333
00:40:09,987 --> 00:40:10,677
I'm like checking.

1334
00:40:10,677 --> 00:40:11,790
I'm like, okay, all right.

1335
00:40:11,790 --> 00:40:12,810
Where's our next bridesmaid?

1336
00:40:12,900 --> 00:40:14,340
You're on deck when she's

1337
00:40:14,610 --> 00:40:15,840
done, you're swapping like,

1338
00:40:15,930 --> 00:40:16,920
because again, it goes

1339
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:17,790
back to the whole thing.

1340
00:40:17,790 --> 00:40:21,090
That wedding time is its own thing.

1341
00:40:21,090 --> 00:40:22,830
Like it is just so different

1342
00:40:22,830 --> 00:40:24,990
than an everyday type of thing.

1343
00:40:25,180 --> 00:40:26,800
You have to be so scheduled

1344
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:28,653
because yeah, one little thing

1345
00:40:28,653 --> 00:40:30,363
can really throw off a whole day.

1346
00:40:30,363 --> 00:40:31,953
And I've had it in the past where

1347
00:40:31,953 --> 00:40:35,163
I had a bridesmaid be super late

1348
00:40:35,310 --> 00:40:37,380
and it almost made it to where I

1349
00:40:37,380 --> 00:40:39,120
couldn't do the grandma's makeup.

1350
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:39,900
Like the grandma would've

1351
00:40:39,900 --> 00:40:41,250
just not had makeup.

1352
00:40:41,517 --> 00:40:42,627
I made it work.

1353
00:40:42,797 --> 00:40:45,107
Yeah, bride not happy with me

1354
00:40:45,107 --> 00:40:47,640
because of the delay, but  I made

1355
00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:49,380
it work because I'm not gonna let

1356
00:40:49,380 --> 00:40:50,820
somebody's grandma not have makeup.

1357
00:40:50,820 --> 00:40:51,300
That's crazy.

1358
00:40:51,300 --> 00:40:52,140
That would make me sad.

1359
00:40:52,220 --> 00:40:55,130
but yeah, it's so easy to throw

1360
00:40:55,130 --> 00:40:57,453
off an entire day without even

1361
00:40:57,453 --> 00:40:59,703
realizing it because 45 minutes,

1362
00:40:59,910 --> 00:41:02,310
me, I block out an hour for makeup.

1363
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,680
but that's including like cleaning

1364
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,450
in between time for me to like,

1365
00:41:06,637 --> 00:41:08,407
you know, take a drink or whatever.

1366
00:41:08,407 --> 00:41:10,057
So it's really more 45 minutes.

1367
00:41:10,057 --> 00:41:11,813
So if you think about it, if you're

1368
00:41:11,813 --> 00:41:13,940
45 minutes late, you're pushing

1369
00:41:13,940 --> 00:41:16,190
the day, a whole appointment slot

1370
00:41:16,290 --> 00:41:18,750
back, like that is a lot of time.

1371
00:41:18,917 --> 00:41:19,427
Yeah.

1372
00:41:19,757 --> 00:41:20,327
Oh yeah.

1373
00:41:20,470 --> 00:41:20,920
All right.

1374
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:22,210
No, that's a, that's a great point.

1375
00:41:22,407 --> 00:41:22,737
All right.

1376
00:41:22,767 --> 00:41:25,167
Let's just get into today's story

1377
00:41:25,167 --> 00:41:27,565
because you always end up being

1378
00:41:27,565 --> 00:41:28,795
a little bit longer than I think.

1379
00:41:28,795 --> 00:41:29,905
So let's just get into it.

1380
00:41:29,965 --> 00:41:30,025
Okay.

1381
00:41:30,445 --> 00:41:32,668
and feel free to stop me or pause anytime

1382
00:41:32,698 --> 00:41:34,378
if you, likewise, we just back the note.

1383
00:41:34,437 --> 00:41:34,917
As we go.

1384
00:41:35,266 --> 00:41:35,716
All right.

1385
00:41:35,893 --> 00:41:37,843
I was the Maître d' for all types of

1386
00:41:37,843 --> 00:41:40,303
events at a golf course and country club.

1387
00:41:40,634 --> 00:41:42,974
Every Sunday we hosted a flat

1388
00:41:42,974 --> 00:41:45,634
priced buffet with no alcohol for

1389
00:41:45,634 --> 00:41:47,494
gospel groups, prayer gathering.

1390
00:41:47,660 --> 00:41:48,860
They danced, sing, and

1391
00:41:48,860 --> 00:41:49,880
filled the room with joy.

1392
00:41:50,060 --> 00:41:51,980
The staff loved watching and listening

1393
00:41:51,980 --> 00:41:54,110
to them, and we never had a single issue.

1394
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,190
We genuinely looked

1395
00:41:55,190 --> 00:41:56,030
forward to their visit.

1396
00:41:56,455 --> 00:41:57,925
One of the young women from the group

1397
00:41:57,925 --> 00:42:00,155
decided she wanted her wedding there on a

1398
00:42:00,155 --> 00:42:02,435
Sunday afternoon with the group present.

1399
00:42:02,718 --> 00:42:04,188
I walked her through everything,

1400
00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:06,258
the theme menu, colors, ceremony,

1401
00:42:06,328 --> 00:42:08,685
flow, flowers, readings, dances,

1402
00:42:08,685 --> 00:42:11,565
bar options, extra servers, sleeping

1403
00:42:11,570 --> 00:42:13,485
arrangements for the newlyweds, backup.

1404
00:42:13,515 --> 00:42:14,325
Well, this is a lot.

1405
00:42:14,605 --> 00:42:16,345
backup plans for the bad weather and

1406
00:42:16,375 --> 00:42:18,865
even contingency plans for family issues.

1407
00:42:18,895 --> 00:42:20,265
Okay, they got it all.

1408
00:42:20,668 --> 00:42:22,078
we had the space for six

1409
00:42:22,078 --> 00:42:23,608
hours, including the ceremony.

1410
00:42:23,938 --> 00:42:26,208
For comparison, the gospel group typically

1411
00:42:26,208 --> 00:42:28,338
use the room for only two to two and

1412
00:42:28,428 --> 00:42:30,708
a half hours on the regular Sundays.

1413
00:42:31,086 --> 00:42:33,056
So I'm thinking they wanted to rent,

1414
00:42:33,236 --> 00:42:35,156
they wanted them to sing at her wedding

1415
00:42:35,382 --> 00:42:36,252
is what I'm guessing some, yeah.

1416
00:42:36,252 --> 00:42:36,372
It's

1417
00:42:36,372 --> 00:42:37,557
sounding like she wants 'em to

1418
00:42:37,557 --> 00:42:39,976
be very involved with the day.

1419
00:42:39,976 --> 00:42:40,036
Yeah.

1420
00:42:40,316 --> 00:42:41,126
because it says they want

1421
00:42:41,126 --> 00:42:42,776
the guests present that are

1422
00:42:42,776 --> 00:42:44,606
normally there on Sundays.

1423
00:42:44,849 --> 00:42:45,539
Yes.

1424
00:42:45,544 --> 00:42:45,704
Okay.

1425
00:42:45,709 --> 00:42:46,349
Okay.

1426
00:42:46,349 --> 00:42:47,519
So she wants them to be there.

1427
00:42:47,549 --> 00:42:47,819
Okay.

1428
00:42:47,979 --> 00:42:49,239
They were allowed joyful and

1429
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:50,979
energetic, but never obnoxious.

1430
00:42:50,979 --> 00:42:53,229
Just a genuinely happy to be a live vibe.

1431
00:42:53,469 --> 00:42:55,089
the first deposit to hold the date and

1432
00:42:55,089 --> 00:42:57,369
room was paid immediately with no issues.

1433
00:42:57,549 --> 00:42:59,229
Over the next four to five months,

1434
00:42:59,229 --> 00:43:00,489
the bride and groom agreed to

1435
00:43:00,489 --> 00:43:01,989
every recommendation we made.

1436
00:43:02,343 --> 00:43:03,468
Used all our preferred vendors,

1437
00:43:03,873 --> 00:43:05,133
and sometimes even brought

1438
00:43:05,133 --> 00:43:06,273
me homemade baked goods.

1439
00:43:06,557 --> 00:43:07,787
We clicked really well.

1440
00:43:07,922 --> 00:43:09,872
The only request they made beyond

1441
00:43:09,872 --> 00:43:12,179
my cake recommendation was an extra

1442
00:43:12,179 --> 00:43:14,602
tier and specific symbol to honor

1443
00:43:14,602 --> 00:43:16,252
their deceased parents and a sibling.

1444
00:43:16,583 --> 00:43:17,933
We upgraded the cake at

1445
00:43:17,933 --> 00:43:19,133
no additional charge.

1446
00:43:19,446 --> 00:43:20,106
That's nice.

1447
00:43:20,436 --> 00:43:20,616
Yeah.

1448
00:43:20,616 --> 00:43:21,426
That's really nice.

1449
00:43:21,486 --> 00:43:23,697
Um, as the second deposit approach,

1450
00:43:23,874 --> 00:43:25,614
they continued adding upgrades and

1451
00:43:25,884 --> 00:43:28,284
RSVPs were higher than expected.

1452
00:43:28,540 --> 00:43:31,070
We needed additional servers, more food,

1453
00:43:31,200 --> 00:43:33,957
extra tables, and more rentals overall.

1454
00:43:34,167 --> 00:43:35,637
They also decided to move the

1455
00:43:35,637 --> 00:43:38,001
wedding up by three weeks to the

1456
00:43:38,031 --> 00:43:40,828
earliest Sunday we had available.

1457
00:43:41,018 --> 00:43:41,678
Oh.

1458
00:43:41,891 --> 00:43:43,615
I'm wondering how like, how late

1459
00:43:43,615 --> 00:43:45,145
into the planning this was because

1460
00:43:45,445 --> 00:43:47,508
Yeah, that's a pretty big shift.

1461
00:43:47,628 --> 00:43:48,228
Yeah.

1462
00:43:48,305 --> 00:43:51,665
And like schedules adding people.

1463
00:43:51,890 --> 00:43:52,180
Okay.

1464
00:43:52,185 --> 00:43:52,825
Okay.

1465
00:43:52,975 --> 00:43:54,835
She said that wasn't an issue, but

1466
00:43:54,835 --> 00:43:56,665
it did mean we couldn't get the exact

1467
00:43:56,665 --> 00:43:58,688
same linen colors in time and they

1468
00:43:58,688 --> 00:44:00,748
needed to secure an available pastor.

1469
00:44:01,133 --> 00:44:02,483
We agreed to keep the second

1470
00:44:02,483 --> 00:44:04,523
deposit due date the same as the

1471
00:44:04,523 --> 00:44:06,443
original planned and not move it up.

1472
00:44:06,851 --> 00:44:07,721
Two weeks before the

1473
00:44:07,721 --> 00:44:09,041
wedding, I checked in again.

1474
00:44:09,254 --> 00:44:10,124
Everything was fully

1475
00:44:10,124 --> 00:44:11,474
planned and it was a lot.

1476
00:44:11,694 --> 00:44:14,270
I heard nothing back three

1477
00:44:14,270 --> 00:44:15,260
days before the wedding.

1478
00:44:15,380 --> 00:44:17,893
I left messages for the couple and both

1479
00:44:17,893 --> 00:44:20,356
mothers while also confirming flowers,

1480
00:44:20,356 --> 00:44:22,691
linens, staff, transportation, and final

1481
00:44:22,691 --> 00:44:25,911
details the following afternoon Friday.

1482
00:44:26,188 --> 00:44:27,628
they still haven't heard from them.

1483
00:44:27,718 --> 00:44:28,108
Oh my gosh.

1484
00:44:28,108 --> 00:44:28,828
That's, I'm like,

1485
00:44:29,154 --> 00:44:30,024
it's okay.

1486
00:44:30,024 --> 00:44:31,434
We are like crunch time and

1487
00:44:31,434 --> 00:44:32,604
we've not heard anything.

1488
00:44:32,664 --> 00:44:33,774
Okay.

1489
00:44:33,774 --> 00:44:33,784
Yeah.

1490
00:44:33,784 --> 00:44:33,794
Okay.

1491
00:44:33,864 --> 00:44:34,404
I'm locked in.

1492
00:44:34,764 --> 00:44:35,004
I know.

1493
00:44:35,004 --> 00:44:36,024
I'm always like, what do you do at

1494
00:44:36,024 --> 00:44:37,514
that point where you're constantly like

1495
00:44:37,514 --> 00:44:38,894
calling them, emailing them, nothing?

1496
00:44:38,894 --> 00:44:39,314
Yeah.

1497
00:44:39,694 --> 00:44:40,234
Oh my gosh.

1498
00:44:40,518 --> 00:44:42,742
The following afternoon Friday, the

1499
00:44:42,742 --> 00:44:44,842
bride's uncle arrived with a check

1500
00:44:44,932 --> 00:44:46,552
covering the remaining balance.

1501
00:44:46,778 --> 00:44:48,608
My boss wasn't thrilled, but

1502
00:44:48,608 --> 00:44:50,008
at that point we proceeded.

1503
00:44:50,422 --> 00:44:51,969
Wasn't thrilled that the uncle

1504
00:44:51,969 --> 00:44:52,869
came or that they were like.

1505
00:44:53,209 --> 00:44:53,659
Yeah.

1506
00:44:53,659 --> 00:44:55,219
'cause I mean that payment probably

1507
00:44:55,219 --> 00:44:57,349
would be late, I would imagine.

1508
00:44:57,589 --> 00:44:58,909
I feel like most things don't

1509
00:44:58,909 --> 00:45:00,919
take payments that close.

1510
00:45:01,152 --> 00:45:03,536
Yeah, because we're talking, she

1511
00:45:03,536 --> 00:45:05,126
doesn't say when the date was, but

1512
00:45:05,126 --> 00:45:06,656
she's saying all of a sudden before

1513
00:45:06,656 --> 00:45:08,426
the wedding, they still hadn't paid,

1514
00:45:08,586 --> 00:45:09,906
they didn't hear anything back.

1515
00:45:09,996 --> 00:45:11,106
Well, then we're at three

1516
00:45:11,106 --> 00:45:12,306
days before the wedding.

1517
00:45:12,476 --> 00:45:12,956
Yeah.

1518
00:45:12,986 --> 00:45:14,516
So we're like close.

1519
00:45:14,516 --> 00:45:14,996
Close.

1520
00:45:15,176 --> 00:45:16,796
So I can see where they're stressed.

1521
00:45:16,796 --> 00:45:19,646
Like you're not talking to us and it's not

1522
00:45:19,646 --> 00:45:21,296
you that's bringing in the final check.

1523
00:45:21,296 --> 00:45:23,486
It's some random relative, like

1524
00:45:23,516 --> 00:45:24,506
Yeah, you never called back.

1525
00:45:24,506 --> 00:45:25,341
Were they involved?

1526
00:45:25,639 --> 00:45:26,389
Yeah.

1527
00:45:26,449 --> 00:45:27,709
Were they involved with

1528
00:45:27,889 --> 00:45:29,512
this relative before?

1529
00:45:29,512 --> 00:45:30,682
Is this person just showing

1530
00:45:30,682 --> 00:45:32,309
up like Yeah, I'd probably be

1531
00:45:32,309 --> 00:45:33,869
a little frustrated as well.

1532
00:45:33,929 --> 00:45:36,379
And I'm wondering like for venues.

1533
00:45:36,689 --> 00:45:38,429
If you don't get that second deposit,

1534
00:45:38,489 --> 00:45:39,749
I'm sure they have a right to either

1535
00:45:39,749 --> 00:45:41,985
add an extra charge or Oh, yeah.

1536
00:45:41,985 --> 00:45:43,875
To cancel your event or something because

1537
00:45:43,875 --> 00:45:45,195
they're holding all, I mean, maybe they

1538
00:45:45,195 --> 00:45:46,832
end up losing money then, but, ' cause

1539
00:45:46,832 --> 00:45:48,882
I'm like, where's like the stickler for

1540
00:45:48,882 --> 00:45:50,857
you have to pay us this day, or Yeah.

1541
00:45:51,102 --> 00:45:53,335
Something happens, we lose this.

1542
00:45:53,365 --> 00:45:54,865
You can't have this amenity or,

1543
00:45:54,925 --> 00:45:55,885
you know, something like that.

1544
00:45:56,007 --> 00:45:56,297
Okay.

1545
00:45:56,302 --> 00:45:56,892
Okay.

1546
00:45:57,102 --> 00:45:59,352
the wedding began at noon just as

1547
00:45:59,352 --> 00:46:01,152
their gospel gatherings always did.

1548
00:46:01,512 --> 00:46:03,042
The ceremony was beautiful.

1549
00:46:03,072 --> 00:46:04,422
While photos were being taken,

1550
00:46:04,452 --> 00:46:05,442
I showed the mother of the

1551
00:46:05,442 --> 00:46:06,642
bride the reception room.

1552
00:46:06,802 --> 00:46:07,272
So it's weird.

1553
00:46:07,272 --> 00:46:08,442
Everything's just like going as

1554
00:46:08,442 --> 00:46:09,252
normal even though they Yeah.

1555
00:46:09,252 --> 00:46:09,912
We're just like

1556
00:46:10,086 --> 00:46:10,896
going forward.

1557
00:46:10,896 --> 00:46:12,432
Even though nobody was

1558
00:46:12,432 --> 00:46:13,392
confirming anything.

1559
00:46:13,422 --> 00:46:13,812
Okay.

1560
00:46:13,872 --> 00:46:13,962
Yeah.

1561
00:46:13,992 --> 00:46:14,502
Alright.

1562
00:46:14,676 --> 00:46:17,816
Immediately she began tearing it apart.

1563
00:46:18,136 --> 00:46:19,753
The mother of the bride tearing

1564
00:46:19,753 --> 00:46:20,893
apart the reception room.

1565
00:46:21,262 --> 00:46:22,582
The linen colors were wrong.

1566
00:46:22,642 --> 00:46:24,082
The tables were too far from the

1567
00:46:24,082 --> 00:46:25,792
windows where a large buffet had been

1568
00:46:25,792 --> 00:46:27,832
set up overlooking the golf course.

1569
00:46:27,906 --> 00:46:29,272
The dance floor was too large.

1570
00:46:29,469 --> 00:46:30,892
Even though most guests danced

1571
00:46:30,892 --> 00:46:32,399
at their tables, the cake was

1572
00:46:32,399 --> 00:46:34,462
missing a tier and it was crooked.

1573
00:46:34,552 --> 00:46:36,142
Or she's saying it wasn't.

1574
00:46:36,172 --> 00:46:37,032
These are all the things that the

1575
00:46:37,032 --> 00:46:38,062
mother of the the bride was saying.

1576
00:46:38,235 --> 00:46:38,655
Okay.

1577
00:46:38,655 --> 00:46:39,765
And it was crooked.

1578
00:46:39,885 --> 00:46:41,492
It wasn't, the lighting was

1579
00:46:41,492 --> 00:46:43,262
too dim and felt solemn.

1580
00:46:43,667 --> 00:46:45,047
The servers were dressed too

1581
00:46:45,047 --> 00:46:48,217
formally One server hunched too much.

1582
00:46:48,578 --> 00:46:49,988
She didn't like my dress.

1583
00:46:50,678 --> 00:46:50,918
She's

1584
00:46:50,918 --> 00:46:53,597
talking to the, your server

1585
00:46:53,597 --> 00:46:56,027
has bad posture, okay?

1586
00:46:56,087 --> 00:46:57,617
I get being upset in certain

1587
00:46:57,617 --> 00:46:59,583
things, and we'll hear more story.

1588
00:46:59,763 --> 00:47:00,573
I understand.

1589
00:47:00,603 --> 00:47:00,633
Okay.

1590
00:47:00,761 --> 00:47:01,707
don't, what if that

1591
00:47:01,707 --> 00:47:02,907
person has a back issue?

1592
00:47:02,967 --> 00:47:03,657
You dunno.

1593
00:47:03,657 --> 00:47:04,857
Why are we going after

1594
00:47:04,857 --> 00:47:06,357
the servers themselves?

1595
00:47:06,357 --> 00:47:07,497
Like, that's kind of crazy to me.

1596
00:47:07,502 --> 00:47:07,862
It's wild.

1597
00:47:08,398 --> 00:47:08,928
That's wild.

1598
00:47:09,183 --> 00:47:09,783
Okay.

1599
00:47:09,783 --> 00:47:09,793
Yes.

1600
00:47:09,793 --> 00:47:11,673
You don't know anything about this person.

1601
00:47:11,913 --> 00:47:12,663
Yeah.

1602
00:47:12,987 --> 00:47:15,357
What in the world make that comment?

1603
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:16,850
they're doing their jobs, aren't they?

1604
00:47:16,850 --> 00:47:17,690
They're, they're like helping.

1605
00:47:17,690 --> 00:47:18,110
Right.

1606
00:47:18,620 --> 00:47:19,610
Like, oh my God.

1607
00:47:19,950 --> 00:47:21,330
then to say she didn't like her

1608
00:47:21,330 --> 00:47:23,453
dress, the person doing it, she's

1609
00:47:23,453 --> 00:47:25,123
saying she didn't like my dress.

1610
00:47:25,153 --> 00:47:25,933
It clashed.

1611
00:47:26,117 --> 00:47:27,137
So the person that sent in this

1612
00:47:27,137 --> 00:47:29,073
email that runs these letters?

1613
00:47:29,073 --> 00:47:29,673
Yeah.

1614
00:47:29,820 --> 00:47:30,690
Can you imagine?

1615
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,197
I'd be like, okay.

1616
00:47:32,197 --> 00:47:32,977
Like, sorry.

1617
00:47:33,067 --> 00:47:33,247
Right.

1618
00:47:33,367 --> 00:47:34,387
That's what I chose to wear.

1619
00:47:34,623 --> 00:47:35,883
That's wild.

1620
00:47:35,883 --> 00:47:36,543
Okay.

1621
00:47:36,543 --> 00:47:37,293
Bizarre.

1622
00:47:37,383 --> 00:47:37,863
Oh my gosh.

1623
00:47:38,083 --> 00:47:39,586
The flowers were too sparse.

1624
00:47:39,863 --> 00:47:41,213
there were too many ribbons.

1625
00:47:41,393 --> 00:47:41,968
She was irate.

1626
00:47:42,327 --> 00:47:44,097
I was completely dumbfounded.

1627
00:47:44,307 --> 00:47:45,627
And that's a problem too.

1628
00:47:45,747 --> 00:47:46,857
Well, I mean it's, there's so

1629
00:47:46,857 --> 00:47:47,847
many problems with this, right?

1630
00:47:48,510 --> 00:47:49,440
Thinking that she has

1631
00:47:49,440 --> 00:47:50,760
some power coming in.

1632
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:51,990
It's like she's not the client.

1633
00:47:52,290 --> 00:47:52,380
Yeah.

1634
00:47:52,473 --> 00:47:54,333
But it weird that she, they just

1635
00:47:54,333 --> 00:47:55,413
stopped hearing from the bride and

1636
00:47:55,413 --> 00:47:57,243
groom and then the uncle just comes in.

1637
00:47:57,393 --> 00:47:57,813
Right.

1638
00:47:57,813 --> 00:48:00,461
And it's weird to me too, that, weddings

1639
00:48:00,461 --> 00:48:03,855
that I've been to my wedding, we very

1640
00:48:03,855 --> 00:48:06,531
much discussed like what the layout was

1641
00:48:06,531 --> 00:48:08,841
going to be, how things were gonna look.

1642
00:48:08,998 --> 00:48:10,928
And I know that they said, we did let

1643
00:48:10,928 --> 00:48:12,368
them know that the linens wouldn't be

1644
00:48:12,368 --> 00:48:14,228
able to be the same because of whatever.

1645
00:48:14,288 --> 00:48:15,698
So they were aware of that.

1646
00:48:15,698 --> 00:48:18,068
Maybe this mom isn't aware of the change.

1647
00:48:18,158 --> 00:48:18,788
Okay.

1648
00:48:19,035 --> 00:48:20,671
But also who are you?

1649
00:48:20,671 --> 00:48:21,871
Like, I get you're the mom, but you're

1650
00:48:21,871 --> 00:48:24,451
also like not the deciding factor.

1651
00:48:24,745 --> 00:48:25,135
Yeah.

1652
00:48:25,195 --> 00:48:27,025
I feel like it was something where.

1653
00:48:27,243 --> 00:48:28,713
The mom wasn't as involved as

1654
00:48:28,713 --> 00:48:30,333
she wanted to be or something.

1655
00:48:30,333 --> 00:48:30,393
Yeah.

1656
00:48:30,667 --> 00:48:32,167
And it sounds like, like the

1657
00:48:32,227 --> 00:48:33,337
person that wrote this, I always

1658
00:48:33,337 --> 00:48:34,237
say it's a little biased 'cause

1659
00:48:34,237 --> 00:48:35,377
she's the one that sent it to us.

1660
00:48:35,377 --> 00:48:35,467
Right.

1661
00:48:35,467 --> 00:48:37,270
So I'm like hearing her perspective,

1662
00:48:37,270 --> 00:48:38,676
but I'm like, sounds like she

1663
00:48:38,676 --> 00:48:39,786
knows what she's talking about.

1664
00:48:39,786 --> 00:48:40,776
She's done all these

1665
00:48:40,776 --> 00:48:42,066
weddings and events before.

1666
00:48:42,156 --> 00:48:42,606
Right.

1667
00:48:42,716 --> 00:48:44,006
So I'm sure they're following

1668
00:48:44,006 --> 00:48:45,506
the contract, following the plan.

1669
00:48:45,506 --> 00:48:47,546
The mom's, she's like, I don't like this.

1670
00:48:47,546 --> 00:48:49,136
This is not what I envisioned.

1671
00:48:49,226 --> 00:48:51,264
Or she's embarrassed because she wants

1672
00:48:51,264 --> 00:48:52,944
her family to see something different.

1673
00:48:52,944 --> 00:48:53,364
Or I,

1674
00:48:53,810 --> 00:48:56,390
that's just so, it's so silly to me too

1675
00:48:56,390 --> 00:48:58,797
because let's say all of these things

1676
00:48:58,797 --> 00:49:01,140
are the genuine, the bride comes in and

1677
00:49:01,140 --> 00:49:02,730
ends up saying the exact same thing.

1678
00:49:02,940 --> 00:49:04,200
Where have you been?

1679
00:49:04,200 --> 00:49:06,240
You haven't like been communicating with

1680
00:49:06,240 --> 00:49:09,000
us to like even know, maybe the original

1681
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,530
discussion was that there were gonna be

1682
00:49:10,530 --> 00:49:12,390
this many ribbons, or maybe the discussion

1683
00:49:12,390 --> 00:49:14,573
was that the flowers were gonna be how

1684
00:49:14,573 --> 00:49:17,063
they're gonna be if you're not having.

1685
00:49:17,230 --> 00:49:18,490
' cause it's sounding to me

1686
00:49:18,550 --> 00:49:20,380
like the venue is providing

1687
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:22,430
most, if not all of the setup.

1688
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,000
So it's not like they're having to

1689
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,884
coordinate multiple different vendors.

1690
00:49:28,198 --> 00:49:29,518
It's sounding like it is

1691
00:49:29,518 --> 00:49:31,018
the venue that's doing this.

1692
00:49:31,048 --> 00:49:34,228
So how that communication between the

1693
00:49:34,228 --> 00:49:38,535
couple and the venue itself got so lax.

1694
00:49:38,648 --> 00:49:38,858
Mm-hmm.

1695
00:49:39,098 --> 00:49:41,618
It is strange to me, like, yeah.

1696
00:49:41,708 --> 00:49:42,188
Okay.

1697
00:49:42,238 --> 00:49:42,628
I need to

1698
00:49:42,628 --> 00:49:42,958
hear more.

1699
00:49:42,958 --> 00:49:43,648
I need to Very on.

1700
00:49:43,812 --> 00:49:44,172
Okay.

1701
00:49:44,395 --> 00:49:46,255
It says she stormed off and I

1702
00:49:46,255 --> 00:49:47,815
went back to business as usual.

1703
00:49:48,012 --> 00:49:50,112
This was a $16,000 wedding.

1704
00:49:50,292 --> 00:49:50,952
Absolutely.

1705
00:49:51,072 --> 00:49:51,792
All out.

1706
00:49:51,973 --> 00:49:53,713
That seems low to me, but I don't know.

1707
00:49:53,718 --> 00:49:55,273
I feel, oh yeah, I hear golf courses.

1708
00:49:55,273 --> 00:49:55,773
At first I was like

1709
00:49:55,773 --> 00:49:56,883
16, but then I'm like,

1710
00:49:56,883 --> 00:49:59,174
actually no, that's pretty low.

1711
00:49:59,234 --> 00:49:59,684
Yeah.

1712
00:49:59,684 --> 00:50:00,794
At least in this area.

1713
00:50:00,794 --> 00:50:01,034
Michigan.

1714
00:50:01,154 --> 00:50:01,394
I know.

1715
00:50:01,394 --> 00:50:02,264
I don't know where this

1716
00:50:02,264 --> 00:50:04,094
was, but yeah, I feel like golf course

1717
00:50:04,094 --> 00:50:05,640
weddings, like when we were just kinda

1718
00:50:05,640 --> 00:50:07,480
like, just kind of getting ideas.

1719
00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:09,160
I feel like golf courses were like the

1720
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,200
most expensive 'cause it was like, oh

1721
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,420
yeah, resort vibes, everything included.

1722
00:50:13,420 --> 00:50:14,855
And so I feel like those were like

1723
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:17,917
at least 50 if not way higher.

1724
00:50:17,980 --> 00:50:19,205
Yeah, no, I agree.

1725
00:50:19,275 --> 00:50:19,565
Yeah.

1726
00:50:19,810 --> 00:50:20,290
I don't know.

1727
00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,950
okay, so it said, intros finished first

1728
00:50:22,950 --> 00:50:25,020
stance is done, speech is complete.

1729
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,544
Dinner music began, the buffet was

1730
00:50:27,544 --> 00:50:29,554
destroyed, completely cleaned out.

1731
00:50:29,824 --> 00:50:31,024
So it was destroyed in a good way.

1732
00:50:31,024 --> 00:50:31,654
I think she means

1733
00:50:32,464 --> 00:50:33,704
demolished the food.

1734
00:50:33,704 --> 00:50:34,404
They ate it all.

1735
00:50:34,424 --> 00:50:35,634
That's what I'm gathering.

1736
00:50:36,264 --> 00:50:36,804
shiny.

1737
00:50:37,164 --> 00:50:37,524
Yeah.

1738
00:50:37,974 --> 00:50:39,402
shiny   Yeah.

1739
00:50:39,402 --> 00:50:40,227
I'm like, okay, I was

1740
00:50:40,227 --> 00:50:41,337
gonna pronounce that wrong.

1741
00:50:41,681 --> 00:50:43,417
And all music continued, some

1742
00:50:43,417 --> 00:50:44,647
dancing followed, and then the

1743
00:50:44,647 --> 00:50:46,267
mother of the groom approached me.

1744
00:50:46,660 --> 00:50:48,665
She said the food was awful.

1745
00:50:48,905 --> 00:50:51,215
The servers were slow, people were

1746
00:50:51,215 --> 00:50:53,195
spiking drinks at a dry wedding.

1747
00:50:53,315 --> 00:50:54,905
Apparently sneaking alcohol from

1748
00:50:54,905 --> 00:50:56,435
another bar into the building.

1749
00:50:56,647 --> 00:50:58,622
The dance floor was a slippery hazard.

1750
00:50:58,943 --> 00:51:00,332
The linens were dry

1751
00:51:00,452 --> 00:51:02,072
after people ate, or No?

1752
00:51:02,072 --> 00:51:04,432
The linens were dirty after people ate.

1753
00:51:05,533 --> 00:51:07,021
It didn't take a genius to

1754
00:51:07,021 --> 00:51:08,191
see where this was headed.

1755
00:51:08,317 --> 00:51:09,659
The hints for a massive

1756
00:51:09,659 --> 00:51:11,729
discount started shortly after.

1757
00:51:14,524 --> 00:51:15,046
they don't wanna pay.

1758
00:51:15,959 --> 00:51:17,519
They don't want to pay.

1759
00:51:17,939 --> 00:51:19,079
They don't want to pay.

1760
00:51:19,139 --> 00:51:20,129
Hopefully they've already

1761
00:51:20,129 --> 00:51:21,269
cashed that check, girl.

1762
00:51:21,269 --> 00:51:22,439
And it didn't bounce like this.

1763
00:51:22,899 --> 00:51:25,164
What it's for, the dirty or the

1764
00:51:25,194 --> 00:51:26,874
Dirty Linens thing reminded me.

1765
00:51:26,874 --> 00:51:29,784
I saw this thing where an influencer

1766
00:51:29,784 --> 00:51:31,194
was trying to do something or she was

1767
00:51:31,194 --> 00:51:33,144
getting free, something free money.

1768
00:51:33,367 --> 00:51:36,367
She was at a restaurant and she filmed the

1769
00:51:36,367 --> 00:51:38,467
floor and was like the place was dirty.

1770
00:51:38,761 --> 00:51:40,501
And then the owners came out and they were

1771
00:51:40,501 --> 00:51:42,841
like, she was there right after like a 12

1772
00:51:43,261 --> 00:51:45,721
party or a 12 person party just got up and

1773
00:51:45,721 --> 00:51:47,641
left and she filmed right under the table.

1774
00:51:47,983 --> 00:51:49,942
So it's just all about like if you've

1775
00:51:49,942 --> 00:51:51,262
never worked in a restaurant or,

1776
00:51:51,493 --> 00:51:51,793
yeah.

1777
00:51:51,793 --> 00:51:52,603
That's wild to me.

1778
00:51:52,603 --> 00:51:53,803
The linens are dirty.

1779
00:51:53,893 --> 00:51:56,048
I mean, aren't they there to like.

1780
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,529
Get used and like to protect like

1781
00:51:59,529 --> 00:52:01,419
the tables and to like look nice.

1782
00:52:01,419 --> 00:52:03,189
I mean, your wedding dress is

1783
00:52:03,189 --> 00:52:04,419
gonna be dirty by the end of the

1784
00:52:04,419 --> 00:52:05,808
night, like the bottom of it.

1785
00:52:05,808 --> 00:52:08,238
You know, you're using the item.

1786
00:52:08,478 --> 00:52:09,228
Yes.

1787
00:52:09,430 --> 00:52:10,750
That's wild.

1788
00:52:10,969 --> 00:52:13,210
And again, saying servers were slow,

1789
00:52:13,383 --> 00:52:14,703
you're gonna complain about that.

1790
00:52:14,910 --> 00:52:15,870
That's wild to me.

1791
00:52:16,046 --> 00:52:16,076
Okay.

1792
00:52:16,076 --> 00:52:17,366
And clearly the food wasn't that

1793
00:52:17,366 --> 00:52:18,806
bad if everybody ate it all.

1794
00:52:18,896 --> 00:52:19,106
Yep.

1795
00:52:19,856 --> 00:52:20,276
Yep.

1796
00:52:20,606 --> 00:52:21,806
That, oh my gosh.

1797
00:52:22,090 --> 00:52:26,601
Then I heard screams, Oh my god Sure

1798
00:52:26,601 --> 00:52:29,131
enough, the cake was on the floor.

1799
00:52:29,358 --> 00:52:32,688
They claimed a server knocked it

1800
00:52:32,688 --> 00:52:35,554
over while rushing for plates.

1801
00:52:35,764 --> 00:52:36,484
She did not.

1802
00:52:37,024 --> 00:52:39,394
And no, this was 2001.

1803
00:52:39,424 --> 00:52:39,964
Okay, there we go.

1804
00:52:39,964 --> 00:52:40,744
So it was 2001.

1805
00:52:40,744 --> 00:52:42,034
That's price.

1806
00:52:42,844 --> 00:52:44,284
So much has changed since then.

1807
00:52:44,404 --> 00:52:45,364
So much.

1808
00:52:45,511 --> 00:52:47,658
16,000, 2001, I could get now.

1809
00:52:47,838 --> 00:52:48,678
Okay, that makes sense.

1810
00:52:48,678 --> 00:52:49,008
Yeah,

1811
00:52:49,248 --> 00:52:50,508
she did not, and no, this

1812
00:52:50,508 --> 00:52:52,908
was 2001, no cameras.

1813
00:52:53,201 --> 00:52:54,671
Suddenly the older women

1814
00:52:54,671 --> 00:52:57,371
erupted into crocodile tears,

1815
00:52:57,491 --> 00:52:59,471
wailing and chanting praises.

1816
00:52:59,658 --> 00:53:02,414
They cried that the souls wait, what?

1817
00:53:02,504 --> 00:53:04,244
The souls of those honored on

1818
00:53:04,244 --> 00:53:05,834
the cake had been desecrated.

1819
00:53:06,154 --> 00:53:07,684
now they're saying because

1820
00:53:07,684 --> 00:53:09,154
the server knocked it over.

1821
00:53:09,214 --> 00:53:11,297
It was like an insult to the loved

1822
00:53:11,297 --> 00:53:13,364
ones that were, the cake was for there.

1823
00:53:13,734 --> 00:53:16,980
So let's say that a

1824
00:53:16,980 --> 00:53:18,600
server did knock it over.

1825
00:53:18,844 --> 00:53:20,824
You are jumping over the Grand Canyon,

1826
00:53:20,824 --> 00:53:23,014
my friend, to say that that is a

1827
00:53:23,194 --> 00:53:26,074
disrespect on a deceased loved one.

1828
00:53:26,234 --> 00:53:28,124
I can see somebody going up to the

1829
00:53:28,124 --> 00:53:30,104
cake, taking whatever that symbolic

1830
00:53:30,104 --> 00:53:31,947
thing was, chucking it at the wall.

1831
00:53:31,947 --> 00:53:33,207
Like, okay, yeah, you're

1832
00:53:33,207 --> 00:53:34,587
being disrespectful to that.

1833
00:53:34,587 --> 00:53:34,827
Mm-hmm.

1834
00:53:35,017 --> 00:53:36,727
If something accidentally gets knocked

1835
00:53:36,877 --> 00:53:39,637
over, my first thought would not be,

1836
00:53:39,847 --> 00:53:43,007
oh, my family members, I can't believe.

1837
00:53:43,007 --> 00:53:46,494
Like, ah, that is a accusatory stretch.

1838
00:53:46,554 --> 00:53:48,054
That is a big stretch.

1839
00:53:48,399 --> 00:53:48,619
Wow.

1840
00:53:48,624 --> 00:53:49,854
Wow, wow, wow.

1841
00:53:50,034 --> 00:53:51,624
And by everything that we've learned

1842
00:53:51,624 --> 00:53:53,424
so far, I'm like, they're just looking

1843
00:53:53,424 --> 00:53:55,417
for all of this to like add up.

1844
00:53:55,417 --> 00:53:56,437
they're thinking of all the dollar

1845
00:53:56,437 --> 00:53:58,477
so that they can get back basically.

1846
00:53:58,567 --> 00:53:59,377
Absolutely.

1847
00:53:59,377 --> 00:53:59,977
Yeah.

1848
00:54:00,187 --> 00:54:00,847
Oh my gosh.

1849
00:54:00,847 --> 00:54:03,697
She said the accusations went on and on.

1850
00:54:04,207 --> 00:54:06,637
Eventually the night wound down, the room

1851
00:54:06,637 --> 00:54:10,044
was left trashed, then came the demand.

1852
00:54:10,194 --> 00:54:11,574
They wanted their money back.

1853
00:54:11,877 --> 00:54:12,867
Gosh.

1854
00:54:13,054 --> 00:54:14,044
Oh no.

1855
00:54:14,044 --> 00:54:16,406
That, even when I hear stories

1856
00:54:16,406 --> 00:54:18,253
like this about like someone

1857
00:54:18,253 --> 00:54:19,393
going into a restaurant, and you

1858
00:54:19,393 --> 00:54:20,413
can tell from the beginning they

1859
00:54:20,413 --> 00:54:21,883
complain about every little thing.

1860
00:54:22,030 --> 00:54:23,350
I mean, I used to work in the restaurant

1861
00:54:23,350 --> 00:54:25,390
industry, I stopped all the time.

1862
00:54:25,450 --> 00:54:25,780
Yeah.

1863
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:26,530
You see it, right?

1864
00:54:26,530 --> 00:54:28,023
It's like, you know, the second those

1865
00:54:28,023 --> 00:54:29,440
people sit down, these are someone that's

1866
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,443
gonna complain, they want a discount.

1867
00:54:31,727 --> 00:54:33,604
And I was more than happy,

1868
00:54:33,604 --> 00:54:34,804
like if something was wrong

1869
00:54:34,804 --> 00:54:35,704
or if something, you know.

1870
00:54:35,704 --> 00:54:36,189
Oh, for sure.

1871
00:54:36,219 --> 00:54:36,829
Even a discount.

1872
00:54:36,829 --> 00:54:37,984
I'll take it off completely.

1873
00:54:38,211 --> 00:54:38,721
Yeah.

1874
00:54:38,721 --> 00:54:39,651
But you can tell right away

1875
00:54:39,651 --> 00:54:40,791
when it's someone that's gonna

1876
00:54:40,791 --> 00:54:41,601
complain about everything.

1877
00:54:41,601 --> 00:54:43,011
Even like, they'll drink, like they'll

1878
00:54:43,131 --> 00:54:44,881
Dr. Pepper or, Sprite and they'll

1879
00:54:44,881 --> 00:54:46,321
be like, something's off in this.

1880
00:54:46,411 --> 00:54:46,981
Something's off.

1881
00:54:47,011 --> 00:54:48,461
Yeah, okay, we'll get it checked.

1882
00:54:48,461 --> 00:54:49,511
Or it's a brand new, you

1883
00:54:49,511 --> 00:54:50,951
know, anything would be wrong.

1884
00:54:51,231 --> 00:54:51,711
Right?

1885
00:54:51,931 --> 00:54:52,831
So when it's something like this,

1886
00:54:52,831 --> 00:54:55,561
like a wedding, $16,000 and they're

1887
00:54:55,561 --> 00:54:57,121
gonna be like, we want our money back.

1888
00:54:57,442 --> 00:54:59,872
No, and I can see it being, and maybe

1889
00:54:59,872 --> 00:55:01,822
you've had this experience too, I can

1890
00:55:01,822 --> 00:55:05,242
also kind of get the vibes of when I'm

1891
00:55:05,242 --> 00:55:07,782
gonna have a client ask me for a refund.

1892
00:55:07,933 --> 00:55:10,153
it always seems to be the ones that I

1893
00:55:10,153 --> 00:55:11,983
am the most lenient with or the ones

1894
00:55:11,983 --> 00:55:15,156
that I try to give like extra things

1895
00:55:15,156 --> 00:55:17,916
to, to be nice that end up coming back

1896
00:55:18,186 --> 00:55:20,440
and expecting more and then wanting

1897
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,170
a discount because of X, Y, and Z.

1898
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:25,853
Reason So if they say you give an

1899
00:55:25,853 --> 00:55:26,963
inch, they take a mile

1900
00:55:26,963 --> 00:55:28,163
or something, those kind

1901
00:55:29,093 --> 00:55:31,613
1000%, that is definitely the case.

1902
00:55:31,613 --> 00:55:33,976
So sounding like that is this case?

1903
00:55:34,036 --> 00:55:34,486
Yeah.

1904
00:55:34,516 --> 00:55:35,116
Okay.

1905
00:55:35,176 --> 00:55:36,226
How does this end?

1906
00:55:36,423 --> 00:55:39,213
It says that's when we learned they had

1907
00:55:39,213 --> 00:55:41,973
assumed they were paying the same rate.

1908
00:55:42,378 --> 00:55:45,018
As the usual two hour Sunday

1909
00:55:45,018 --> 00:55:48,118
buffet lunches, despite having a

1910
00:55:48,118 --> 00:55:51,118
signed contract stating otherwise.

1911
00:55:51,455 --> 00:55:52,145
Why would you not look

1912
00:55:52,145 --> 00:55:53,705
at that and just assume,

1913
00:55:54,269 --> 00:55:56,129
and is it really that they assumed or

1914
00:55:56,129 --> 00:55:57,599
they thought that because they were

1915
00:55:57,599 --> 00:55:59,945
such a come every Sunday group that

1916
00:55:59,945 --> 00:56:02,015
they could just talk their way into it

1917
00:56:02,435 --> 00:56:04,865
and get that discount after the fact?

1918
00:56:04,985 --> 00:56:05,075
Right.

1919
00:56:05,105 --> 00:56:07,399
But you should never I'm looking

1920
00:56:07,399 --> 00:56:08,329
at my camera at this moment.

1921
00:56:08,329 --> 00:56:09,229
I know I've been looking all around.

1922
00:56:09,289 --> 00:56:09,499
Right.

1923
00:56:09,649 --> 00:56:12,289
Never sign a contract for an

1924
00:56:12,289 --> 00:56:14,089
amount, assuming that it's

1925
00:56:14,089 --> 00:56:15,859
not going to be that amount.

1926
00:56:15,859 --> 00:56:16,049
Yeah.

1927
00:56:16,089 --> 00:56:16,329
That is

1928
00:56:16,329 --> 00:56:16,649
crazy.

1929
00:56:16,669 --> 00:56:17,989
crazy To me, contract is

1930
00:56:17,989 --> 00:56:19,039
a, it's locking you in.

1931
00:56:19,039 --> 00:56:20,209
It's literally telling you

1932
00:56:20,209 --> 00:56:22,174
what you owe when you pay it.

1933
00:56:22,189 --> 00:56:23,239
Like yes.

1934
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:23,299
Wow.

1935
00:56:23,404 --> 00:56:25,045
I don't understand how you could

1936
00:56:25,045 --> 00:56:26,659
assume like I don't wanna say

1937
00:56:26,719 --> 00:56:28,672
ignorance, but that's being extremely

1938
00:56:28,672 --> 00:56:30,622
naive to be like, yeah, oh, okay.

1939
00:56:30,669 --> 00:56:31,599
we come here every Sunday

1940
00:56:31,599 --> 00:56:32,439
for a two hour of buffet.

1941
00:56:32,439 --> 00:56:33,699
I'm like, that's way

1942
00:56:33,699 --> 00:56:34,659
different than a wedding.

1943
00:56:35,049 --> 00:56:36,399
That is way different from a wedding

1944
00:56:36,399 --> 00:56:37,569
that you're getting linens, you're

1945
00:56:37,569 --> 00:56:39,189
having people catering your food,

1946
00:56:39,189 --> 00:56:41,532
you're having florals, you're having

1947
00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:43,752
sounding like music maybe was even

1948
00:56:43,752 --> 00:56:45,885
provided, like what they were listing

1949
00:56:45,885 --> 00:56:48,045
all of the stay for the bride and groom

1950
00:56:48,045 --> 00:56:50,732
for this case, like they did a lot.

1951
00:56:51,122 --> 00:56:53,312
So to me, for them to just expect

1952
00:56:53,312 --> 00:56:55,502
that to be the same as a little buffet

1953
00:56:55,682 --> 00:56:58,952
that they do every Sunday is insanity.

1954
00:56:58,952 --> 00:56:59,012
Yeah.

1955
00:56:59,132 --> 00:57:02,080
And it's sounding very entitled to me.

1956
00:57:02,445 --> 00:57:03,800
Like that's the vibe that I get.

1957
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:04,020
Mm-hmm.

1958
00:57:04,020 --> 00:57:05,042
That they just probably

1959
00:57:05,042 --> 00:57:06,632
thought going into this.

1960
00:57:06,692 --> 00:57:08,462
Like I said that, oh, well we come here

1961
00:57:08,462 --> 00:57:10,412
every Sunday, we should be allowed.

1962
00:57:10,442 --> 00:57:13,345
It's giving, well, I know the owner vibe.

1963
00:57:13,345 --> 00:57:13,435
Yes.

1964
00:57:13,945 --> 00:57:14,380
You know what I mean?

1965
00:57:14,887 --> 00:57:16,082
Like that's the vibe that

1966
00:57:16,082 --> 00:57:17,252
it gives and it's like.

1967
00:57:17,497 --> 00:57:18,607
Okay, cool.

1968
00:57:18,667 --> 00:57:19,717
You're like, so do I.

1969
00:57:19,957 --> 00:57:21,037
So do I. And this is

1970
00:57:21,037 --> 00:57:22,507
still how much it is like,

1971
00:57:22,797 --> 00:57:23,607
Oh my gosh.

1972
00:57:23,607 --> 00:57:25,527
I've seen so many skits about that where

1973
00:57:25,527 --> 00:57:27,147
someone's like, well, I know the owner.

1974
00:57:27,147 --> 00:57:27,957
And they're like, okay, well

1975
00:57:27,957 --> 00:57:29,187
get in line all these people.

1976
00:57:29,187 --> 00:57:29,337
My

1977
00:57:29,337 --> 00:57:31,197
favorite thing when that would happen to

1978
00:57:31,197 --> 00:57:33,374
me is they would be like, well, I know the

1979
00:57:33,374 --> 00:57:34,994
owner, can't you just gimme a discount?

1980
00:57:34,994 --> 00:57:37,150
And I'd be like, I know my dad too.

1981
00:57:37,150 --> 00:57:39,550
Like my dad owned the restaurant that

1982
00:57:39,550 --> 00:57:41,110
I worked at, so that always killed me.

1983
00:57:41,110 --> 00:57:42,760
I'd be like, yeah, same

1984
00:57:42,967 --> 00:57:45,870
And I also like anyone that says that if

1985
00:57:45,870 --> 00:57:47,580
you're going to your friend's restaurant

1986
00:57:47,580 --> 00:57:49,050
or someone you knows, restaurant,

1987
00:57:49,050 --> 00:57:50,850
wouldn't you want to contribute to

1988
00:57:50,850 --> 00:57:52,140
a small business or help them out?

1989
00:57:52,140 --> 00:57:52,830
And that's

1990
00:57:52,830 --> 00:57:53,550
the thing too.

1991
00:57:53,550 --> 00:57:56,367
I have never been in a situation

1992
00:57:56,367 --> 00:57:58,167
that I can think of that I'm ever

1993
00:57:58,167 --> 00:57:59,847
going to a friend's business or

1994
00:57:59,847 --> 00:58:02,277
going to have a friend do anything

1995
00:58:02,277 --> 00:58:04,257
for me that I am like asking for a

1996
00:58:04,257 --> 00:58:07,687
discount or I'm expecting a discount.

1997
00:58:07,786 --> 00:58:08,297
I mean.

1998
00:58:08,539 --> 00:58:11,029
I had a friend do, she's my

1999
00:58:11,029 --> 00:58:13,129
hairstylist, do my hair for my wedding.

2000
00:58:13,372 --> 00:58:16,312
I still obviously like paid her.

2001
00:58:16,312 --> 00:58:18,879
I still tipped her well, like just

2002
00:58:18,879 --> 00:58:20,559
'cause she's done my hair forever and

2003
00:58:20,559 --> 00:58:22,959
we've been friends for however long.

2004
00:58:22,959 --> 00:58:26,289
Like that would be super weird of

2005
00:58:26,289 --> 00:58:28,382
me to just assume that that would

2006
00:58:28,382 --> 00:58:30,902
be free or discounted or something.

2007
00:58:30,902 --> 00:58:32,963
So, That's the vibe I'm getting with

2008
00:58:32,963 --> 00:58:34,973
this though, is that they assumed that,

2009
00:58:35,376 --> 00:58:36,846
I've always noticed it's the people

2010
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,770
that are more acquaintances or

2011
00:58:38,770 --> 00:58:39,970
know you through people that do it.

2012
00:58:39,970 --> 00:58:40,090
Yeah.

2013
00:58:40,090 --> 00:58:41,680
It's never like a real friend.

2014
00:58:41,827 --> 00:58:41,917
Yeah.

2015
00:58:42,427 --> 00:58:42,967
'cause I don't, I don't think I've

2016
00:58:42,967 --> 00:58:44,287
said this on the podcast before,

2017
00:58:44,287 --> 00:58:46,557
but like years ago, so like I do

2018
00:58:46,557 --> 00:58:48,573
art well again, this was Preki.

2019
00:58:48,663 --> 00:58:49,893
I haven't done a lot of art in a

2020
00:58:49,893 --> 00:58:51,273
while, but I used to do like charcoal

2021
00:58:51,467 --> 00:58:53,077
art drawings and I've done a lot of

2022
00:58:53,077 --> 00:58:54,487
stuff for weddings, like art-wise,

2023
00:58:54,487 --> 00:58:56,000
like creating like trees with a

2024
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:57,230
thumbprint, whatever, all that stuff.

2025
00:58:57,260 --> 00:58:57,530
Yeah.

2026
00:58:57,740 --> 00:59:00,020
Anyway, so years ago I was like

2027
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:01,580
a guest of a guest at a wedding.

2028
00:59:01,580 --> 00:59:03,470
So like my friend's old friend,

2029
00:59:03,676 --> 00:59:04,793
neighbor was getting married.

2030
00:59:04,793 --> 00:59:06,023
She's like, you guys should come with us.

2031
00:59:06,023 --> 00:59:07,343
It was a very laid back wedding.

2032
00:59:07,433 --> 00:59:08,156
More the merrier.

2033
00:59:08,156 --> 00:59:08,216
Yeah.

2034
00:59:08,415 --> 00:59:10,416
The week before, the bride was like,

2035
00:59:10,623 --> 00:59:12,933
can you make me a guest book tree thing?

2036
00:59:12,963 --> 00:59:14,283
And I was like, so nice.

2037
00:59:14,316 --> 00:59:16,245
I'm early twenties at the time.

2038
00:59:16,245 --> 00:59:17,715
Like no boundaries.

2039
00:59:17,715 --> 00:59:19,579
Just one people pleased and

2040
00:59:19,579 --> 00:59:20,419
I'm like, normally I probably

2041
00:59:20,419 --> 00:59:21,814
would've charged a fair price.

2042
00:59:21,814 --> 00:59:22,534
Probably would've been.

2043
00:59:22,886 --> 00:59:24,326
A hundred to $200 because

2044
00:59:24,331 --> 00:59:25,556
it takes, it takes a while.

2045
00:59:25,706 --> 00:59:26,306
Yeah.

2046
00:59:26,666 --> 00:59:27,686
But I was like, okay, maybe I'll

2047
00:59:27,686 --> 00:59:28,826
charge her a little bit less.

2048
00:59:29,066 --> 00:59:30,836
She goes, just don't get me a gift.

2049
00:59:31,026 --> 00:59:33,546
And I'm like, oh, okay.

2050
00:59:33,546 --> 00:59:35,586
Like I already had a gift that I bought.

2051
00:59:36,666 --> 00:59:37,206
Yeah.

2052
00:59:37,211 --> 00:59:37,716
And I was like,

2053
00:59:37,866 --> 00:59:38,196
okay.

2054
00:59:39,106 --> 00:59:40,816
then literally I started, learned my

2055
00:59:40,816 --> 00:59:42,916
lesson, but then a like a year later

2056
00:59:42,916 --> 00:59:44,536
I was like doing charcoal drawings for

2057
00:59:44,536 --> 00:59:46,802
people people are, paying whatever.

2058
00:59:47,155 --> 00:59:49,075
She never paid me to this day.

2059
00:59:49,165 --> 00:59:50,322
It was like someone, she, like, I

2060
00:59:50,322 --> 00:59:51,852
went and brought it to the house.

2061
00:59:51,912 --> 00:59:53,892
Like a whole family charcoal drawing.

2062
00:59:53,892 --> 00:59:54,372
It took Yeah.

2063
00:59:54,402 --> 00:59:54,792
Hours.

2064
00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:55,002
Hours.

2065
00:59:55,992 --> 00:59:57,792
And I'm like, I broke, just

2066
00:59:57,792 --> 00:59:59,352
recently Graduated college kid.

2067
00:59:59,382 --> 00:59:59,922
Yeah.

2068
01:00:00,012 --> 01:00:01,288
And she was like, oh, I

2069
01:00:01,288 --> 01:00:02,188
don't have cash on me.

2070
01:00:02,188 --> 01:00:03,598
Like, just tell me what it is and

2071
01:00:03,598 --> 01:00:04,978
I'll like send you money later.

2072
01:00:05,038 --> 01:00:05,878
Never did.

2073
01:00:05,878 --> 01:00:07,422
And it's so dumb now, but in my

2074
01:00:07,422 --> 01:00:09,102
mind I'm like, that's that kind of

2075
01:00:09,102 --> 01:00:11,472
person that just expects a discount.

2076
01:00:11,532 --> 01:00:11,832
Yeah.

2077
01:00:11,922 --> 01:00:13,392
'cause they know you somehow.

2078
01:00:13,575 --> 01:00:13,935
Yeah.

2079
01:00:13,995 --> 01:00:16,960
No, I will say I have been a bridal makeup

2080
01:00:16,960 --> 01:00:20,290
artist for 10 years now, and it's always

2081
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,930
the person who was randomly in my English

2082
01:00:22,930 --> 01:00:25,450
class freshman year of high school that's

2083
01:00:25,450 --> 01:00:28,080
like, Hey, girl, I'm getting married.

2084
01:00:28,223 --> 01:00:29,483
what are your rates?

2085
01:00:29,783 --> 01:00:32,333
And me sending them, whoa.

2086
01:00:32,363 --> 01:00:34,297
Well if you want my, pricing guide,

2087
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:36,307
feel free to email my assistant.

2088
01:00:36,307 --> 01:00:37,567
She'll get that sent over to you.

2089
01:00:37,808 --> 01:00:39,007
Oh my gosh, no girl.

2090
01:00:39,193 --> 01:00:40,843
you can just send them in here.

2091
01:00:40,843 --> 01:00:42,796
Like, it's fine, Facebook Messenger.

2092
01:00:42,796 --> 01:00:44,283
And I'm like, no, it's easier

2093
01:00:44,283 --> 01:00:46,351
for me to keep things, compact.

2094
01:00:46,351 --> 01:00:48,031
And they're like, oh, well, is there

2095
01:00:48,031 --> 01:00:49,531
any way that I could get like a friend

2096
01:00:49,531 --> 01:00:51,241
and family discount since we know each

2097
01:00:51,241 --> 01:00:52,386
other and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

2098
01:00:52,391 --> 01:00:54,211
I've had that happen so many times,

2099
01:00:54,211 --> 01:00:56,318
and I'm like, honestly, I don't

2100
01:00:56,318 --> 01:00:57,908
know, like anything about you,

2101
01:00:57,967 --> 01:00:59,286
how much friends are we do it.

2102
01:00:59,911 --> 01:01:01,441
I was going through it when I was

2103
01:01:01,441 --> 01:01:03,416
in high school, like my sophomore

2104
01:01:03,416 --> 01:01:06,266
to end of junior year is when that

2105
01:01:06,266 --> 01:01:08,456
first hip surgery stuff was happening.

2106
01:01:08,738 --> 01:01:11,378
they say that pain erases memory

2107
01:01:11,378 --> 01:01:12,668
or whatever sometimes, and that's

2108
01:01:12,668 --> 01:01:15,282
why like I've heard, oh well people

2109
01:01:15,282 --> 01:01:17,588
who have kids might be UPT to have

2110
01:01:17,588 --> 01:01:19,208
kids again, even if the first birth

2111
01:01:19,208 --> 01:01:20,738
was like awful because they just

2112
01:01:20,738 --> 01:01:22,328
like forget the pain or whatever.

2113
01:01:22,328 --> 01:01:23,528
Which I don't know how true that

2114
01:01:23,528 --> 01:01:25,129
is, but I will say, there are

2115
01:01:25,129 --> 01:01:28,249
huge lapses of my memory from that

2116
01:01:28,249 --> 01:01:30,812
time of my life where I probably.

2117
01:01:31,112 --> 01:01:32,492
Like if I saw you on the street,

2118
01:01:32,702 --> 01:01:34,352
random person in my Facebook

2119
01:01:34,622 --> 01:01:36,242
messenger thing, like I probably

2120
01:01:36,242 --> 01:01:37,892
wouldn't even know that was you.

2121
01:01:37,926 --> 01:01:38,016
Mm-hmm.

2122
01:01:38,016 --> 01:01:39,486
So why would you think that I

2123
01:01:39,486 --> 01:01:40,866
would wanna give you a discount?

2124
01:01:40,866 --> 01:01:43,052
Like that's just wild to me.

2125
01:01:43,052 --> 01:01:43,862
Well, they're the same

2126
01:01:43,862 --> 01:01:44,972
ML N people that want

2127
01:01:44,972 --> 01:01:46,142
you to join their team.

2128
01:01:46,232 --> 01:01:49,232
Girl that the truth.

2129
01:01:49,412 --> 01:01:51,302
Hey girl, from middle school, we never

2130
01:01:51,302 --> 01:01:53,132
talked, but I'm during this, I started

2131
01:01:53,132 --> 01:01:54,782
this new ml, it's gonna save your life.

2132
01:01:54,782 --> 01:01:55,712
And I'm like, yeah,

2133
01:01:56,222 --> 01:01:57,812
well, and I get that all the time too.

2134
01:01:57,812 --> 01:01:58,532
Maybe you do too.

2135
01:01:58,532 --> 01:02:00,662
Now that you have a following is like

2136
01:02:00,662 --> 01:02:03,582
online and everything is the amount of

2137
01:02:03,582 --> 01:02:05,652
people who are like, you should do this

2138
01:02:05,652 --> 01:02:07,632
because you already have the following.

2139
01:02:07,632 --> 01:02:10,462
You could easily make millions

2140
01:02:10,462 --> 01:02:11,632
and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

2141
01:02:11,632 --> 01:02:14,005
And I'm I'm honestly like so good.

2142
01:02:14,125 --> 01:02:14,725
Thanks though.

2143
01:02:14,778 --> 01:02:16,062
I don't, so good.

2144
01:02:16,062 --> 01:02:16,422
Thank you.

2145
01:02:16,675 --> 01:02:18,925
I've actually never been more Okay.

2146
01:02:18,925 --> 01:02:19,825
Not doing that.

2147
01:02:19,825 --> 01:02:20,515
Like, I don't

2148
01:02:20,515 --> 01:02:21,325
want to do that.

2149
01:02:21,325 --> 01:02:23,455
Like, like more the reason to not do it.

2150
01:02:23,455 --> 01:02:23,695
Thank you.

2151
01:02:23,695 --> 01:02:23,815
Yeah.

2152
01:02:24,055 --> 01:02:24,175
And

2153
01:02:24,175 --> 01:02:25,225
the amount of people too, and

2154
01:02:25,225 --> 01:02:26,815
maybe you've had this as well, that

2155
01:02:26,815 --> 01:02:28,945
are like, could you use my song

2156
01:02:28,945 --> 01:02:31,525
in the background of your video?

2157
01:02:31,585 --> 01:02:34,045
And they're like a random person from

2158
01:02:34,045 --> 01:02:35,605
freshman year of high school that has

2159
01:02:35,605 --> 01:02:37,495
like a SoundCloud or whatever it's called.

2160
01:02:37,585 --> 01:02:37,795
I've

2161
01:02:37,795 --> 01:02:38,575
not had that.

2162
01:02:38,580 --> 01:02:39,415
That's what I get,

2163
01:02:39,415 --> 01:02:40,645
that I get people, oh,

2164
01:02:40,645 --> 01:02:42,355
can I collab with you?

2165
01:02:42,355 --> 01:02:44,545
I need to get more views on my stuff

2166
01:02:44,545 --> 01:02:47,275
because I do X, Y, and Z. And it's

2167
01:02:47,275 --> 01:02:48,985
like a random person I haven't talked

2168
01:02:48,985 --> 01:02:51,602
to since I was in like, I was 13.

2169
01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:52,779
Like, I'm like, no, I

2170
01:02:52,779 --> 01:02:54,189
don't know you anymore.

2171
01:02:54,247 --> 01:02:56,385
just because you knew me at

2172
01:02:56,385 --> 01:02:58,725
a blip of my life, you do not

2173
01:02:58,855 --> 01:03:01,555
just have access to me 24 7.

2174
01:03:01,555 --> 01:03:02,658
that's wild to me.

2175
01:03:02,718 --> 01:03:02,898
Yeah.

2176
01:03:02,898 --> 01:03:05,208
Anyways, I tangented a little bit, but No,

2177
01:03:05,268 --> 01:03:06,588
we bolted because I feel like

2178
01:03:06,588 --> 01:03:07,885
it's such a common thing.

2179
01:03:07,896 --> 01:03:09,445
Like, so when we read something

2180
01:03:09,445 --> 01:03:10,615
like this, I'm like, oh.

2181
01:03:10,792 --> 01:03:12,158
I know that person, if you're

2182
01:03:12,158 --> 01:03:13,358
listening, don't do that.

2183
01:03:13,534 --> 01:03:13,678
Yeah.

2184
01:03:13,678 --> 01:03:14,458
Don't do that to people.

2185
01:03:14,458 --> 01:03:15,478
Always offer to pay

2186
01:03:15,568 --> 01:03:17,332
full price for friends.

2187
01:03:17,362 --> 01:03:17,602
Yeah.

2188
01:03:17,662 --> 01:03:17,872
Family.

2189
01:03:17,872 --> 01:03:18,892
And then if later they wanna come

2190
01:03:18,892 --> 01:03:19,582
back and be like, you know what?

2191
01:03:19,582 --> 01:03:20,632
I wanna throw in this for free

2192
01:03:20,632 --> 01:03:22,012
because you're my friend then.

2193
01:03:22,042 --> 01:03:22,522
Awesome.

2194
01:03:22,552 --> 01:03:22,612
Yeah.

2195
01:03:23,152 --> 01:03:23,512
But

2196
01:03:23,772 --> 01:03:25,692
yeah, I mean, for me, and they

2197
01:03:25,692 --> 01:03:27,072
probably don't even know I do this,

2198
01:03:27,072 --> 01:03:29,458
but like my dad's employees, I give

2199
01:03:29,458 --> 01:03:31,288
them my friend and family discount

2200
01:03:31,288 --> 01:03:32,548
because they work for my dad.

2201
01:03:32,662 --> 01:03:34,432
They probably don't even know that I do

2202
01:03:34,432 --> 01:03:36,382
that, but it's something that I add on.

2203
01:03:36,646 --> 01:03:38,051
but it to me, if it was like a

2204
01:03:38,051 --> 01:03:39,191
new employee of my dad and they're

2205
01:03:39,191 --> 01:03:40,301
like, can I get a discount?

2206
01:03:40,301 --> 01:03:41,111
I'd probably be a little

2207
01:03:41,111 --> 01:03:42,557
bit more like, like what?

2208
01:03:43,367 --> 01:03:44,057
That's odd.

2209
01:03:44,177 --> 01:03:45,189
Like, don't do that.

2210
01:03:45,217 --> 01:03:47,292
don't expect things, I guess is what

2211
01:03:47,292 --> 01:03:48,697
I, what we're trying to say I feel.

2212
01:03:48,697 --> 01:03:48,997
Yeah.

2213
01:03:49,267 --> 01:03:50,527
Ab, absolutely.

2214
01:03:50,840 --> 01:03:52,640
so it ends with saying, so

2215
01:03:52,640 --> 01:03:53,960
says, despite having signed the

2216
01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:55,370
contract, stating otherwise mm-hmm.

2217
01:03:55,650 --> 01:03:58,110
No one tipped some servers

2218
01:03:58,110 --> 01:03:59,370
were even in tears.

2219
01:03:59,692 --> 01:04:01,912
Others finally snap back verbally.

2220
01:04:02,002 --> 01:04:03,599
And and at that point we allowed it.

2221
01:04:03,757 --> 01:04:04,566
So I'm wondering if this is

2222
01:04:04,566 --> 01:04:06,903
all just happening right there,

2223
01:04:06,903 --> 01:04:07,743
because I'm wondering why the

2224
01:04:07,743 --> 01:04:09,273
servers were involved in that.

2225
01:04:09,273 --> 01:04:11,209
Because I would kinda be like, servers

2226
01:04:11,209 --> 01:04:13,573
go home and then maybe the next week

2227
01:04:13,589 --> 01:04:15,113
they're like trying to demand money.

2228
01:04:15,143 --> 01:04:15,958
But I don't know if this is, this

2229
01:04:15,983 --> 01:04:17,638
sounds like later on in that night it's

2230
01:04:17,638 --> 01:04:17,838
happening.

2231
01:04:17,838 --> 01:04:19,036
Like in the night you're like,

2232
01:04:19,036 --> 01:04:21,106
which I will say, and this is

2233
01:04:21,136 --> 01:04:23,086
maybe a controversial thing,

2234
01:04:23,266 --> 01:04:26,116
but I don't ever expect a tip.

2235
01:04:26,276 --> 01:04:29,059
And I know that in some different things

2236
01:04:29,089 --> 01:04:31,849
it's a little bit more common to do it.

2237
01:04:31,849 --> 01:04:34,569
Like I probably always would tip a server.

2238
01:04:34,886 --> 01:04:37,526
But if I were, you know, a venue or

2239
01:04:37,526 --> 01:04:39,756
whatever, you should always have your

2240
01:04:39,756 --> 01:04:42,506
pricing be to the point where if something

2241
01:04:42,506 --> 01:04:44,036
like this happens and nobody's getting

2242
01:04:44,036 --> 01:04:46,119
tipped, your server isn't in tears

2243
01:04:46,119 --> 01:04:47,409
because they didn't feel like they made

2244
01:04:47,409 --> 01:04:48,849
enough money, it should still be like

2245
01:04:49,376 --> 01:04:51,056
The base rate should still be good.

2246
01:04:51,159 --> 01:04:51,369
I

2247
01:04:51,369 --> 01:04:52,209
agree with you.

2248
01:04:52,524 --> 01:04:54,361
To me, and it's different.

2249
01:04:54,361 --> 01:04:56,421
I will say if you're going out to eat,

2250
01:04:56,651 --> 01:04:59,131
totally different, totally different.

2251
01:04:59,131 --> 01:05:00,811
Because I know that minimum wage

2252
01:05:00,811 --> 01:05:03,481
is like $2 or something, and you're

2253
01:05:03,631 --> 01:05:05,281
living off of your tips in that.

2254
01:05:05,341 --> 01:05:06,511
Like you're supplementing

2255
01:05:06,511 --> 01:05:07,591
with your tips in that way.

2256
01:05:07,971 --> 01:05:09,591
I would imagine, and maybe it's wrong

2257
01:05:09,591 --> 01:05:10,911
and if it is, please correct us.

2258
01:05:10,911 --> 01:05:11,361
I don't know.

2259
01:05:11,361 --> 01:05:13,528
But I would imagine that when you're

2260
01:05:13,528 --> 01:05:15,268
working as a server for an event like

2261
01:05:15,268 --> 01:05:17,001
this, you're probably getting more of

2262
01:05:17,001 --> 01:05:19,401
like an hourly base rate that's like

2263
01:05:19,681 --> 01:05:22,701
or more than the $2 minimum wage,

2264
01:05:22,701 --> 01:05:24,381
because this is more of like an event.

2265
01:05:24,578 --> 01:05:26,428
So yeah, I would imagine

2266
01:05:26,428 --> 01:05:27,358
that that should be more.

2267
01:05:27,564 --> 01:05:28,074
Common.

2268
01:05:28,254 --> 01:05:30,204
I can't speak obviously for all events,

2269
01:05:30,204 --> 01:05:32,144
but I used my job in college, I worked

2270
01:05:32,144 --> 01:05:34,214
at a hotel and I worked in the bar and

2271
01:05:34,214 --> 01:05:35,861
like I was a cocktail server, but we

2272
01:05:35,861 --> 01:05:37,451
obviously hosted events and so there

2273
01:05:37,451 --> 01:05:40,341
were banquet servers from my memory,

2274
01:05:40,341 --> 01:05:42,351
they made like $11 an hour, like they

2275
01:05:42,351 --> 01:05:44,031
were serving at weddings and stuff.

2276
01:05:44,145 --> 01:05:46,408
Whereas our actual like restaurant

2277
01:05:46,408 --> 01:05:48,238
servers were making like five, six.

2278
01:05:48,328 --> 01:05:48,718
Yeah.

2279
01:05:48,748 --> 01:05:50,518
They were more inclined to get tipped.

2280
01:05:50,665 --> 01:05:53,155
So as far as I remember, in banquets you

2281
01:05:53,155 --> 01:05:55,915
don't typically get tipped as a server.

2282
01:05:55,915 --> 01:05:56,035
Yeah.

2283
01:05:56,815 --> 01:05:58,915
Maybe bartenders will get like cash.

2284
01:05:59,005 --> 01:05:59,395
Yeah.

2285
01:05:59,471 --> 01:06:02,141
I can see bartenders, but even,

2286
01:06:02,561 --> 01:06:04,571
yeah, me thinking of any time I've

2287
01:06:04,571 --> 01:06:05,831
attended a wedding, I don't think

2288
01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:07,675
that I've ever tipped the person

2289
01:06:07,675 --> 01:06:10,195
that's bringing me the plated meal.

2290
01:06:10,195 --> 01:06:10,285
Right.

2291
01:06:10,435 --> 01:06:11,563
Or serving the buffet.

2292
01:06:11,565 --> 01:06:12,513
I don't think that.

2293
01:06:12,513 --> 01:06:14,717
So to play devil as advocate on

2294
01:06:14,717 --> 01:06:16,990
that one little speck, I will say.

2295
01:06:17,230 --> 01:06:17,410
Yeah.

2296
01:06:17,410 --> 01:06:18,940
I do think that the tipping thing.

2297
01:06:19,355 --> 01:06:20,345
that's not something that

2298
01:06:20,345 --> 01:06:21,785
you should just expect.

2299
01:06:21,913 --> 01:06:24,765
Like even me as a makeup artist, I get

2300
01:06:24,945 --> 01:06:28,185
probably like 75% of my client's tip,

2301
01:06:28,341 --> 01:06:30,795
but it really doesn't bother me either

2302
01:06:30,795 --> 01:06:33,312
way because I make sure that my pricing

2303
01:06:33,432 --> 01:06:35,292
is to where I feel like I'm comfortable

2304
01:06:35,292 --> 01:06:38,352
after expenses or whatever, that I made

2305
01:06:38,531 --> 01:06:40,121
you shouldn't be relying on your tips,

2306
01:06:40,121 --> 01:06:41,171
I guess is what I'm saying, right.

2307
01:06:41,201 --> 01:06:43,841
For this type of a job Servers.

2308
01:06:43,841 --> 01:06:44,051
Yeah.

2309
01:06:44,081 --> 01:06:46,481
In the real everyday you're working

2310
01:06:46,481 --> 01:06:48,367
at like Bob Evans or something.

2311
01:06:48,487 --> 01:06:49,117
I understand.

2312
01:06:49,477 --> 01:06:50,977
Tip your servers and stuff.

2313
01:06:51,111 --> 01:06:51,441
Yeah.

2314
01:06:51,441 --> 01:06:52,601
I just, yes, please tip

2315
01:06:52,601 --> 01:06:53,561
your normal servers.

2316
01:06:53,561 --> 01:06:55,331
But I don't know if that's

2317
01:06:55,331 --> 01:06:57,146
common practice for Yeah.

2318
01:06:57,371 --> 01:06:58,961
It makes me wonder if they didn't

2319
01:06:58,961 --> 01:07:01,644
typically do this kind of thing.

2320
01:07:01,644 --> 01:07:02,179
Yeah, that's good.

2321
01:07:02,184 --> 01:07:03,114
Yeah, but they sound

2322
01:07:03,114 --> 01:07:05,001
so, prepared for it though.

2323
01:07:05,091 --> 01:07:05,421
Yeah.

2324
01:07:06,216 --> 01:07:06,726
I don't know.

2325
01:07:07,146 --> 01:07:07,356
Yeah.

2326
01:07:07,361 --> 01:07:08,994
Anyways, so little tidbit.

2327
01:07:09,024 --> 01:07:09,314
Yeah.

2328
01:07:09,319 --> 01:07:10,059
Interesting.

2329
01:07:10,419 --> 01:07:11,859
They didn't get tipped and they're crying,

2330
01:07:11,859 --> 01:07:14,499
so, and then it says, others finally

2331
01:07:14,499 --> 01:07:16,809
snap back verbally and they allowed it.

2332
01:07:16,809 --> 01:07:18,579
So that seems kind of weird to me too, to

2333
01:07:18,579 --> 01:07:22,749
allow the servers to snap at the customer.

2334
01:07:22,986 --> 01:07:24,876
I understand when tensions are really

2335
01:07:24,876 --> 01:07:28,406
high and situations are really heated

2336
01:07:28,826 --> 01:07:30,626
to get caught in the heat of the moment.

2337
01:07:30,686 --> 01:07:32,475
But whether you're the manager,

2338
01:07:32,475 --> 01:07:35,545
whether you are the owner, whatever it

2339
01:07:35,545 --> 01:07:39,242
is, your responsibility to make your

2340
01:07:39,395 --> 01:07:41,645
employees, Hey guys, take a step back.

2341
01:07:41,705 --> 01:07:42,695
I'm gonna handle it.

2342
01:07:42,756 --> 01:07:44,375
You have to be the one

2343
01:07:44,645 --> 01:07:45,995
to handle the situation.

2344
01:07:46,029 --> 01:07:47,189
because all that's gonna do

2345
01:07:47,189 --> 01:07:49,019
is crave more and more heat.

2346
01:07:49,019 --> 01:07:49,619
And more heat.

2347
01:07:49,619 --> 01:07:50,609
More heat, and that's,

2348
01:07:50,909 --> 01:07:52,439
everybody's just gonna be mad.

2349
01:07:52,729 --> 01:07:53,746
So yeah.

2350
01:07:53,746 --> 01:07:56,493
Allowing your employees to be.

2351
01:07:56,601 --> 01:07:58,761
Even in a position where they're

2352
01:07:58,761 --> 01:08:00,141
feeling like they need to go back and

2353
01:08:00,141 --> 01:08:01,641
forth like that, like once you start

2354
01:08:01,641 --> 01:08:03,441
to notice that the heat is coming on a

2355
01:08:03,441 --> 01:08:05,508
little bit, Hey guys, take a step back.

2356
01:08:05,598 --> 01:08:06,558
Hey, how can I help you?

2357
01:08:06,593 --> 01:08:07,528
what's the problem?

2358
01:08:07,678 --> 01:08:09,358
You shouldn't put your employee in

2359
01:08:09,358 --> 01:08:11,091
that position because I know that

2360
01:08:11,091 --> 01:08:12,471
weddings that I've been to a lot of

2361
01:08:12,471 --> 01:08:14,761
the times, the servers, they are like

2362
01:08:14,993 --> 01:08:17,031
in their late teens, early twenties.

2363
01:08:17,358 --> 01:08:20,048
That's a lot to put on someone young.

2364
01:08:20,048 --> 01:08:21,068
Like that's a lot.

2365
01:08:21,068 --> 01:08:21,128
Yeah.

2366
01:08:21,235 --> 01:08:23,782
So I feel like that's another thing

2367
01:08:23,782 --> 01:08:25,288
I would interject in this situation

2368
01:08:25,288 --> 01:08:26,668
it would've maybe been beneficial.

2369
01:08:26,668 --> 01:08:27,838
I know we don't know how this ends

2370
01:08:27,838 --> 01:08:30,048
yet, but to have the employees kind

2371
01:08:30,048 --> 01:08:32,288
of step aside and you handle it one

2372
01:08:32,288 --> 01:08:33,518
person, because if you're yelling

2373
01:08:33,518 --> 01:08:34,778
at a bunch of different people,

2374
01:08:35,048 --> 01:08:36,278
nobody's getting their point across.

2375
01:08:36,278 --> 01:08:37,208
Nobody's listening.

2376
01:08:37,448 --> 01:08:37,838
Yeah.

2377
01:08:38,018 --> 01:08:38,318
Yeah.

2378
01:08:38,318 --> 01:08:39,488
And it sounds like at this point,

2379
01:08:39,532 --> 01:08:40,702
the tips, at least of their

2380
01:08:40,702 --> 01:08:41,962
concerns, they might not even

2381
01:08:41,962 --> 01:08:43,732
wanna pay for anything else.

2382
01:08:43,822 --> 01:08:44,452
Yeah.

2383
01:08:44,555 --> 01:08:47,165
so it says, come Monday the check bounced.

2384
01:08:47,312 --> 01:08:48,692
So no, they didn't cash the check.

2385
01:08:48,839 --> 01:08:50,169
wonder, oh, it makes me wonder,

2386
01:08:50,199 --> 01:08:50,769
oh wait, there's another

2387
01:08:50,769 --> 01:08:51,909
paragraph, so lemme read it first.

2388
01:08:52,723 --> 01:08:52,753
Okay.

2389
01:08:52,753 --> 01:08:54,883
Says their head pastor called to

2390
01:08:54,883 --> 01:08:57,133
inform us they would not be paying.

2391
01:08:57,603 --> 01:09:00,333
warned that if we pursued the matter, the

2392
01:09:00,333 --> 01:09:03,223
congregation would countersue, claiming

2393
01:09:03,223 --> 01:09:06,237
we intentionally sabotaged a young,

2394
01:09:06,597 --> 01:09:09,747
naive, God-fearing couple's wedding

2395
01:09:09,897 --> 01:09:11,937
under the guise of miscommunication,

2396
01:09:12,097 --> 01:09:14,167
even though they signed a contract

2397
01:09:14,290 --> 01:09:15,490
that is, whoa.

2398
01:09:15,490 --> 01:09:15,790
Okay.

2399
01:09:15,790 --> 01:09:16,210
Sorry.

2400
01:09:16,323 --> 01:09:18,393
Oh, she says when it was actually

2401
01:09:18,393 --> 01:09:22,340
reckless discrimination somehow they won.

2402
01:09:22,517 --> 01:09:24,827
Wait, there was a lawsuit and they won.

2403
01:09:25,637 --> 01:09:27,850
It sounds like either She doesn't

2404
01:09:27,850 --> 01:09:29,500
say there was definitely a lawsuit.

2405
01:09:29,500 --> 01:09:31,780
She just says he warned that

2406
01:09:31,780 --> 01:09:33,400
if we pursued it, they would

2407
01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,963
countersue and then just ends with.

2408
01:09:36,353 --> 01:09:36,893
They won.

2409
01:09:36,923 --> 01:09:39,000
So I'm wondering if they did sue them.

2410
01:09:39,000 --> 01:09:40,407
'cause they were like, we didn't get paid.

2411
01:09:40,677 --> 01:09:41,637
Whoa.

2412
01:09:41,877 --> 01:09:43,707
First off, how any judge is

2413
01:09:43,707 --> 01:09:45,387
letting that win over a signed

2414
01:09:45,387 --> 01:09:47,840
contract is bonkers to me.

2415
01:09:47,930 --> 01:09:48,050
Mm-hmm.

2416
01:09:48,287 --> 01:09:48,737
okay.

2417
01:09:48,943 --> 01:09:50,233
I need to get into my business

2418
01:09:50,233 --> 01:09:51,583
owner mind for a second here.

2419
01:09:51,643 --> 01:09:52,063
Yeah.

2420
01:09:52,397 --> 01:09:54,137
why allowing.

2421
01:09:54,377 --> 01:09:54,677
Okay.

2422
01:09:54,900 --> 01:09:56,460
Thinking that it's 2001.

2423
01:09:56,657 --> 01:09:58,457
We're talking 25 years ago.

2424
01:09:58,547 --> 01:09:58,847
Yeah.

2425
01:09:58,957 --> 01:09:59,557
I feel old.

2426
01:09:59,707 --> 01:10:00,487
I see 2001.

2427
01:10:00,487 --> 01:10:01,807
I'm like, oh, it was like 10 years ago.

2428
01:10:02,050 --> 01:10:02,650
25 years ago.

2429
01:10:02,650 --> 01:10:02,890
I'm like,

2430
01:10:03,070 --> 01:10:05,826
I I'm 28 so I was like, three what?

2431
01:10:05,856 --> 01:10:06,306
Right.

2432
01:10:06,336 --> 01:10:07,806
Two or three, like, okay.

2433
01:10:07,806 --> 01:10:08,256
Wow.

2434
01:10:08,446 --> 01:10:10,643
Anyways, but like I know things have

2435
01:10:10,643 --> 01:10:12,323
updated, things have changed a lot

2436
01:10:12,536 --> 01:10:15,126
in those 25 years, but I think that

2437
01:10:15,126 --> 01:10:17,376
it's a little bit crazy to accept

2438
01:10:17,376 --> 01:10:19,626
just a check from a random person

2439
01:10:19,836 --> 01:10:22,416
and not try to immediately cash it.

2440
01:10:22,676 --> 01:10:23,216
I get that.

2441
01:10:23,216 --> 01:10:24,656
Maybe it was, they said it was

2442
01:10:24,656 --> 01:10:26,036
three days before, so if it's a

2443
01:10:26,036 --> 01:10:28,133
Monday, it would've been a Friday.

2444
01:10:28,313 --> 01:10:29,683
Okay, but

2445
01:10:29,806 --> 01:10:31,336
you think they waited till the banks

2446
01:10:31,336 --> 01:10:33,556
were closed so they couldn't cash it?

2447
01:10:33,753 --> 01:10:34,593
Maybe,

2448
01:10:34,803 --> 01:10:36,789
but at that point, I'm sorry,

2449
01:10:36,797 --> 01:10:38,837
I'm needing a cashier's check.

2450
01:10:38,837 --> 01:10:40,591
I'm needing like a money

2451
01:10:40,591 --> 01:10:41,431
order or something.

2452
01:10:41,431 --> 01:10:44,444
Like I need it to be more obvious

2453
01:10:44,444 --> 01:10:46,544
that the funds are there, especially

2454
01:10:46,544 --> 01:10:48,194
if communication has been so

2455
01:10:48,194 --> 01:10:49,604
lax where I haven't even gotten

2456
01:10:49,604 --> 01:10:52,454
to talk to my client in weeks.

2457
01:10:52,674 --> 01:10:54,714
Yeah, that's, that's wild to me.

2458
01:10:54,851 --> 01:10:57,731
What I would say nowadays, me

2459
01:10:57,731 --> 01:10:59,621
personally, if I'm accepting a check

2460
01:10:59,651 --> 01:11:02,081
from a client, it has to be like a

2461
01:11:02,171 --> 01:11:03,882
cashier's check or something like that.

2462
01:11:03,941 --> 01:11:05,711
Like I am not accepting

2463
01:11:05,947 --> 01:11:07,142
just a check because.

2464
01:11:07,702 --> 01:11:10,012
It has the potential to bounce.

2465
01:11:10,012 --> 01:11:10,102
Mm-hmm.

2466
01:11:10,342 --> 01:11:12,552
And you are still, especially in this

2467
01:11:12,552 --> 01:11:15,162
situation when there's so much involved

2468
01:11:15,412 --> 01:11:17,722
makeup, obviously that sucks for me.

2469
01:11:17,722 --> 01:11:19,432
Maybe I was looking, maybe I just

2470
01:11:19,432 --> 01:11:21,352
replenished a lot in my kit and

2471
01:11:21,352 --> 01:11:23,146
this was money that I thought

2472
01:11:23,146 --> 01:11:24,899
was coming that I'm going to be

2473
01:11:24,929 --> 01:11:26,579
able to balance things out again.

2474
01:11:26,772 --> 01:11:28,779
But venues, especially what it's

2475
01:11:28,779 --> 01:11:30,399
sounding like this one provides,

2476
01:11:30,529 --> 01:11:32,239
you still have to pay people.

2477
01:11:32,239 --> 01:11:33,859
Like you still have Yeah.

2478
01:11:33,859 --> 01:11:35,419
Things that have to be paid for.

2479
01:11:35,419 --> 01:11:38,359
And now that that's bounced, like whoa.

2480
01:11:38,596 --> 01:11:40,576
And I'm wondering how much that

2481
01:11:40,576 --> 01:11:43,456
first deposit was for Like, usually

2482
01:11:43,456 --> 01:11:45,009
I feel like when I got married it was

2483
01:11:45,009 --> 01:11:47,709
like the first check was like 25%.

2484
01:11:47,769 --> 01:11:48,009
Yeah.

2485
01:11:48,069 --> 01:11:49,479
Then it was like 50 ma. I don't know.

2486
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:51,549
So I like, it does like little increments.

2487
01:11:51,549 --> 01:11:51,609
Yeah.

2488
01:11:51,789 --> 01:11:52,659
So I'm like, that's not

2489
01:11:52,659 --> 01:11:54,129
gonna cover their food or No.

2490
01:11:54,519 --> 01:11:56,289
Like they ate all the food.

2491
01:11:56,379 --> 01:11:56,979
That's right.

2492
01:11:57,176 --> 01:11:58,016
And they're gonna like

2493
01:11:58,016 --> 01:11:59,396
live with themselves.

2494
01:11:59,562 --> 01:12:01,832
Knowing that they scam these people.

2495
01:12:02,222 --> 01:12:02,522
Yeah.

2496
01:12:02,577 --> 01:12:04,771
I should make it clear the people getting

2497
01:12:04,771 --> 01:12:06,151
married, the families getting married.

2498
01:12:06,156 --> 01:12:06,406
Right, right.

2499
01:12:06,476 --> 01:12:08,818
Scam the venue because they

2500
01:12:08,818 --> 01:12:09,958
knew what they were doing.

2501
01:12:10,114 --> 01:12:12,784
Because no one signs a contract

2502
01:12:12,991 --> 01:12:14,431
thinking it's gonna be, oh,

2503
01:12:14,491 --> 01:12:16,051
we do a two hour buffet here.

2504
01:12:16,141 --> 01:12:17,371
It's the same as a wedding.

2505
01:12:17,611 --> 01:12:18,721
Hey, do this, this, this,

2506
01:12:18,721 --> 01:12:19,611
this, this, this, and this.

2507
01:12:19,611 --> 01:12:20,866
For us, it's gonna be the same.

2508
01:12:21,058 --> 01:12:22,768
I guess I'm also confused

2509
01:12:22,874 --> 01:12:24,854
who signed this contract?

2510
01:12:24,944 --> 01:12:27,194
Was it the bride and groom?

2511
01:12:27,194 --> 01:12:28,364
Was it who signed this?

2512
01:12:28,364 --> 01:12:29,714
Because why does the head

2513
01:12:29,714 --> 01:12:31,934
pastor at their church get to be

2514
01:12:31,934 --> 01:12:33,854
involved in this lawsuit at all?

2515
01:12:33,884 --> 01:12:35,174
Yeah, that's a great point.

2516
01:12:35,174 --> 01:12:37,364
Why is he a part of this discussion?

2517
01:12:37,568 --> 01:12:38,768
Yeah, that doesn't matter.

2518
01:12:38,768 --> 01:12:39,428
Like, that's him

2519
01:12:39,428 --> 01:12:42,196
being like the, using like the hierarchy

2520
01:12:42,196 --> 01:12:44,446
of like, oh, you use this very religious

2521
01:12:44,446 --> 01:12:46,186
family, and you're making them look

2522
01:12:46,186 --> 01:12:47,776
bad, so don't you dare do that.

2523
01:12:47,776 --> 01:12:48,556
So it's almost like him

2524
01:12:48,556 --> 01:12:49,486
being like, I'm a pastor.

2525
01:12:49,486 --> 01:12:50,236
Let me.

2526
01:12:50,424 --> 01:12:51,714
Say it so they, which

2527
01:12:51,714 --> 01:12:53,544
why is a pastor doing that?

2528
01:12:53,814 --> 01:12:54,144
Yeah.

2529
01:12:54,144 --> 01:12:54,354
You're

2530
01:12:54,354 --> 01:12:55,194
not a part of the family.

2531
01:12:55,194 --> 01:12:56,679
You didn't pay didn't, you're

2532
01:12:56,679 --> 01:12:57,639
not in the contract.

2533
01:12:57,639 --> 01:12:58,079
Didn't pay.

2534
01:12:58,164 --> 01:12:58,824
Yeah.

2535
01:12:58,884 --> 01:13:00,504
That's so weird to me.

2536
01:13:00,504 --> 01:13:02,394
And if this did go to court and they

2537
01:13:02,394 --> 01:13:04,284
were able to, like, again, how did

2538
01:13:04,284 --> 01:13:06,804
a judge, why is that being allowed?

2539
01:13:06,854 --> 01:13:09,074
why is the pastor of a church that

2540
01:13:09,074 --> 01:13:11,504
they go to get, to be the deciding

2541
01:13:11,504 --> 01:13:15,374
say of whether a contract between

2542
01:13:15,374 --> 01:13:19,087
somebody and a venue was a scam or not?

2543
01:13:19,391 --> 01:13:20,201
That's just,

2544
01:13:20,278 --> 01:13:20,578
wow.

2545
01:13:20,878 --> 01:13:20,998
Yeah.

2546
01:13:21,118 --> 01:13:22,851
So I kind of wonder like, if we

2547
01:13:22,851 --> 01:13:23,961
read it the other way, if she's

2548
01:13:23,961 --> 01:13:25,401
just saying they won, basically,

2549
01:13:25,451 --> 01:13:26,771
we just went along with it.

2550
01:13:26,771 --> 01:13:28,768
We didn't like try to sue them

2551
01:13:28,768 --> 01:13:30,118
or like take any step further

2552
01:13:30,148 --> 01:13:31,888
because he scared us basically.

2553
01:13:32,071 --> 01:13:33,481
Then I could see that too.

2554
01:13:34,085 --> 01:13:36,155
I can see that, but also

2555
01:13:36,155 --> 01:13:37,745
like as a business, you're

2556
01:13:37,745 --> 01:13:38,015
out,

2557
01:13:38,083 --> 01:13:40,483
you have a contract for a reason

2558
01:13:40,663 --> 01:13:42,013
and if you're not gonna stick with

2559
01:13:42,013 --> 01:13:43,693
your policies and your contract

2560
01:13:43,693 --> 01:13:44,833
and the things that are in there,

2561
01:13:44,833 --> 01:13:46,183
what's the point of having I have it.

2562
01:13:46,353 --> 01:13:46,743
Yeah.

2563
01:13:46,743 --> 01:13:48,423
And don't get me wrong, there's been

2564
01:13:48,423 --> 01:13:51,363
instances in the past for me where I have

2565
01:13:51,393 --> 01:13:53,403
made exceptions to something that's in the

2566
01:13:53,403 --> 01:13:56,320
contract, but it's normally because I'm

2567
01:13:56,320 --> 01:13:58,090
trying to be accommodating of somebody.

2568
01:13:58,276 --> 01:14:00,436
I will say that's tightened up a lot

2569
01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,796
because of situations like this where

2570
01:14:02,796 --> 01:14:04,806
I've give an inch and they take a mile.

2571
01:14:04,806 --> 01:14:08,003
But I just don't see how that hap

2572
01:14:08,033 --> 01:14:10,643
like, so much went wrong with this.

2573
01:14:10,890 --> 01:14:12,870
And so much that I think that this

2574
01:14:12,870 --> 01:14:14,070
business, and I hope that if they're

2575
01:14:14,070 --> 01:14:15,990
still around, that they learn from

2576
01:14:15,990 --> 01:14:19,750
this, communication needs to be better.

2577
01:14:19,750 --> 01:14:21,820
Their, what happens if you stop

2578
01:14:21,820 --> 01:14:23,860
communicating with me needs to be better.

2579
01:14:24,073 --> 01:14:26,773
Their payment processes hopefully are

2580
01:14:26,773 --> 01:14:30,760
better and hopefully they have more

2581
01:14:30,760 --> 01:14:32,860
solid contracts or confidence in their

2582
01:14:32,860 --> 01:14:34,870
contracts that should something like

2583
01:14:34,870 --> 01:14:38,354
this happen again, it's worth fighting

2584
01:14:38,354 --> 01:14:41,040
for because wow, that was a lot.

2585
01:14:41,250 --> 01:14:43,920
When people complain about like rules and

2586
01:14:43,920 --> 01:14:45,650
stuff, it's because of people like this.

2587
01:14:45,770 --> 01:14:47,210
This is why contracts have to

2588
01:14:47,210 --> 01:14:49,161
be as as they are, is because

2589
01:14:49,191 --> 01:14:50,781
there's people that take advantage

2590
01:14:51,167 --> 01:14:52,757
now they have to be super clear.

2591
01:14:52,757 --> 01:14:54,137
You have to cover every single

2592
01:14:54,137 --> 01:14:56,491
instance because of people like this.

2593
01:14:56,581 --> 01:14:56,641
Yeah.

2594
01:14:56,641 --> 01:14:57,361
'cause they don't try to

2595
01:14:57,361 --> 01:14:58,376
scam the crap outta you.

2596
01:14:58,761 --> 01:15:00,681
If you are somebody that is getting

2597
01:15:00,681 --> 01:15:02,931
married or you are going to be entering

2598
01:15:02,931 --> 01:15:05,985
into a contract for whatever reason, read

2599
01:15:05,985 --> 01:15:08,769
what you're signing, please don't just

2600
01:15:08,769 --> 01:15:12,099
blindly sign and then claim ignorance,

2601
01:15:12,099 --> 01:15:15,182
because nowadays I just cannot see if this

2602
01:15:15,182 --> 01:15:17,192
went to court nowadays that that would've

2603
01:15:17,342 --> 01:15:19,759
held up at all for the client's favor.

2604
01:15:19,759 --> 01:15:21,469
Like I could not see that happening.

2605
01:15:21,619 --> 01:15:21,739
No way.

2606
01:15:21,889 --> 01:15:24,289
so be mindful of what you're signing

2607
01:15:24,349 --> 01:15:27,109
and on the flip vendors or whoever is

2608
01:15:27,109 --> 01:15:29,279
sending out the contracts, make sure

2609
01:15:29,279 --> 01:15:31,789
that you feel confident in the things

2610
01:15:31,789 --> 01:15:33,319
that are in your contract, that you feel

2611
01:15:33,319 --> 01:15:34,999
that you could back those things up.

2612
01:15:35,373 --> 01:15:37,023
Consult with an attorney.

2613
01:15:37,023 --> 01:15:38,103
Don't just write something

2614
01:15:38,103 --> 01:15:39,513
down and have somebody sign it.

2615
01:15:39,513 --> 01:15:41,763
Make sure it is like a legal contract.

2616
01:15:41,996 --> 01:15:43,520
yeah, because this type

2617
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:45,450
of stuff happens and.

2618
01:15:45,629 --> 01:15:48,149
Me personally as a random

2619
01:15:48,359 --> 01:15:50,069
big sister business owner.

2620
01:15:50,069 --> 01:15:51,599
Advice to you too.

2621
01:15:51,599 --> 01:15:53,202
If you're a makeup artist or a

2622
01:15:53,202 --> 01:15:55,625
hairstylist or somebody that, let's

2623
01:15:55,625 --> 01:15:57,965
say you have a season that you go

2624
01:15:57,965 --> 01:15:59,945
through and now here's the next one.

2625
01:16:00,175 --> 01:16:02,395
Revisit that contract at

2626
01:16:02,395 --> 01:16:03,505
the end of the season.

2627
01:16:03,652 --> 01:16:05,422
What happened in that year that

2628
01:16:05,422 --> 01:16:07,222
you don't want to happen again?

2629
01:16:07,499 --> 01:16:07,979
Mm-hmm.

2630
01:16:08,055 --> 01:16:09,915
Put it into your contract so that it

2631
01:16:09,915 --> 01:16:12,326
doesn't happen again and go forward.

2632
01:16:12,326 --> 01:16:13,520
You might you might have people

2633
01:16:13,520 --> 01:16:15,020
be like, why is this so long?

2634
01:16:15,020 --> 01:16:15,860
Or Why does this even

2635
01:16:15,860 --> 01:16:16,970
need to be specified?

2636
01:16:17,090 --> 01:16:18,320
You don't have to explain yourself

2637
01:16:18,320 --> 01:16:20,000
to those clients, but you can say,

2638
01:16:20,000 --> 01:16:21,200
if you want to say anything at

2639
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:22,654
all, while everything that's in

2640
01:16:22,654 --> 01:16:24,454
the contract is there for a reason.

2641
01:16:24,771 --> 01:16:24,981
yeah.

2642
01:16:24,981 --> 01:16:26,541
You have to protect yourself as a

2643
01:16:26,541 --> 01:16:28,988
business owner and as a consumer.

2644
01:16:28,988 --> 01:16:29,978
Signing contracts.

2645
01:16:30,158 --> 01:16:31,268
Protect yourself too.

2646
01:16:31,268 --> 01:16:33,188
you don't know what a contract is saying.

2647
01:16:33,188 --> 01:16:36,050
If you don't know the legal mumbo jumbo.

2648
01:16:36,498 --> 01:16:38,358
You don't have to, nobody is

2649
01:16:38,358 --> 01:16:40,488
forcing you to sign anything.

2650
01:16:40,521 --> 01:16:40,791
Yes.

2651
01:16:40,821 --> 01:16:43,011
You can consult with somebody if you need

2652
01:16:43,011 --> 01:16:45,201
help before signing anything, even if

2653
01:16:45,201 --> 01:16:47,511
it's just asking the business to clarify

2654
01:16:47,511 --> 01:16:50,901
what this means, because Yeah, don't

2655
01:16:50,901 --> 01:16:52,581
sign into something that you don't know.

2656
01:16:52,581 --> 01:16:52,641
Yeah.

2657
01:16:52,971 --> 01:16:54,441
Because either one of you, it

2658
01:16:54,441 --> 01:16:55,521
could come back and bite you.

2659
01:16:55,731 --> 01:16:56,151
Yeah.

2660
01:16:56,271 --> 01:16:58,348
most places now, like you said, are not

2661
01:16:58,348 --> 01:17:00,298
gonna be like, oh, you didn't read it.

2662
01:17:00,388 --> 01:17:01,468
Mm. They're gonna be like,

2663
01:17:01,588 --> 01:17:03,065
too bad you signed this.

2664
01:17:03,065 --> 01:17:03,125
Yeah.

2665
01:17:03,368 --> 01:17:03,758
So,

2666
01:17:03,878 --> 01:17:04,298
yeah.

2667
01:17:04,298 --> 01:17:06,848
I mean, I've had to do that multiple

2668
01:17:06,848 --> 01:17:10,451
times where we've had to send screenshots

2669
01:17:10,481 --> 01:17:13,061
or we've copied the portion of the

2670
01:17:13,061 --> 01:17:15,648
contract that applies to X, Y, or Z

2671
01:17:15,648 --> 01:17:17,628
situation and send it to that client

2672
01:17:17,628 --> 01:17:19,995
and say, well then the contract that

2673
01:17:19,995 --> 01:17:22,215
you signed, this is what it says.

2674
01:17:22,215 --> 01:17:23,805
And you have to leave

2675
01:17:23,805 --> 01:17:24,825
with confidence with that.

2676
01:17:24,825 --> 01:17:26,235
You have to say, well, this is

2677
01:17:26,235 --> 01:17:27,752
what you signed, and they can

2678
01:17:27,752 --> 01:17:29,132
come back and counter, but.

2679
01:17:29,393 --> 01:17:30,713
This is what you signed.

2680
01:17:30,820 --> 01:17:31,390
Yeah.

2681
01:17:31,597 --> 01:17:33,097
It makes me think too, kind of like

2682
01:17:33,097 --> 01:17:35,377
looking back at the beginning that there

2683
01:17:35,377 --> 01:17:37,087
were so many different parties involved

2684
01:17:37,087 --> 01:17:38,767
and I think this is why a lot of places

2685
01:17:38,767 --> 01:17:40,087
too are like, we only work with the

2686
01:17:40,087 --> 01:17:41,317
bride and groom, or we only work with

2687
01:17:41,317 --> 01:17:43,723
a couple getting married because I feel

2688
01:17:43,723 --> 01:17:45,947
like they probably, the young girl comes

2689
01:17:45,947 --> 01:17:47,627
in from the group, she's really excited.

2690
01:17:47,627 --> 01:17:48,947
They're like, yep, this sounds great.

2691
01:17:48,977 --> 01:17:50,537
She's the one that talks with them.

2692
01:17:50,783 --> 01:17:52,943
They signed the contract, she

2693
01:17:52,943 --> 01:17:54,503
probably pays the first deposit.

2694
01:17:54,503 --> 01:17:55,253
Sounds like, yeah.

2695
01:17:55,253 --> 01:17:56,513
It says the bride and groom agree.

2696
01:17:56,660 --> 01:17:57,440
They pay everything.

2697
01:17:57,440 --> 01:17:58,160
No issues.

2698
01:17:58,330 --> 01:17:59,500
Then other people are getting

2699
01:17:59,500 --> 01:18:01,755
involved, maybe the moms start seeing

2700
01:18:01,755 --> 01:18:02,475
it and they're like, yeah, whoa.

2701
01:18:02,475 --> 01:18:03,645
How are we gonna pay for this?

2702
01:18:03,845 --> 01:18:04,895
'cause that's, I think that's why

2703
01:18:04,895 --> 01:18:06,695
there was that radio silence, right?

2704
01:18:06,695 --> 01:18:07,385
They're like starting

2705
01:18:07,385 --> 01:18:08,825
to worry about the cost.

2706
01:18:08,998 --> 01:18:10,558
Then this random uncle comes in.

2707
01:18:10,738 --> 01:18:11,038
Yeah.

2708
01:18:11,273 --> 01:18:13,078
And either he was planning on

2709
01:18:13,078 --> 01:18:14,428
paying for it the whole time, or he

2710
01:18:14,428 --> 01:18:16,651
goes, wait guys, I've got an idea.

2711
01:18:16,771 --> 01:18:17,461
You know what I'm saying?

2712
01:18:17,461 --> 01:18:19,411
Like, was this a plan the whole time?

2713
01:18:19,568 --> 01:18:20,798
Part of me thinks yes.

2714
01:18:20,828 --> 01:18:22,148
He's like, I'm gonna come in.

2715
01:18:22,178 --> 01:18:22,898
They're not gonna ask me

2716
01:18:22,898 --> 01:18:23,948
questions, so they don't know me.

2717
01:18:24,051 --> 01:18:25,011
I don't know about the wedding.

2718
01:18:25,121 --> 01:18:26,201
Bring this check in.

2719
01:18:26,415 --> 01:18:27,075
Oh, it's covered.

2720
01:18:27,075 --> 01:18:27,435
We're good.

2721
01:18:27,435 --> 01:18:28,575
We're gonna get our wedding.

2722
01:18:28,671 --> 01:18:31,461
And then you guys come in hot and right.

2723
01:18:31,521 --> 01:18:31,851
Want.

2724
01:18:31,911 --> 01:18:32,511
Yeah, because

2725
01:18:32,511 --> 01:18:33,321
there's people that do

2726
01:18:33,321 --> 01:18:34,371
this like for a living.

2727
01:18:34,431 --> 01:18:35,511
Oh yeah.

2728
01:18:35,571 --> 01:18:36,961
I mean, like I said, my

2729
01:18:36,961 --> 01:18:38,071
dad owns a restaurant.

2730
01:18:38,205 --> 01:18:39,825
There's people that we have on the

2731
01:18:39,825 --> 01:18:42,135
do not let reorder list because

2732
01:18:42,135 --> 01:18:44,325
they've had multiple, and multiple and

2733
01:18:44,325 --> 01:18:45,735
multiple times where they call back

2734
01:18:45,735 --> 01:18:47,805
and complain that something is wrong.

2735
01:18:47,968 --> 01:18:50,441
And to the point where we would like

2736
01:18:50,441 --> 01:18:52,331
red label them maybe like, Hey, if

2737
01:18:52,331 --> 01:18:55,065
they call, make sure that you are so

2738
01:18:55,065 --> 01:18:56,805
precise and confident that everything

2739
01:18:56,805 --> 01:18:58,995
going into this order is exactly right.

2740
01:18:59,121 --> 01:19:00,501
And they would still call back

2741
01:19:00,501 --> 01:19:02,691
and say, X, Y, or Z happened.

2742
01:19:02,928 --> 01:19:04,428
For example, and this is talking

2743
01:19:04,428 --> 01:19:05,628
on my dad's half for a little

2744
01:19:05,628 --> 01:19:07,701
bit, but he had a customer that

2745
01:19:07,701 --> 01:19:10,041
would constantly complain about

2746
01:19:10,071 --> 01:19:12,411
something being wrong with the pizza.

2747
01:19:12,411 --> 01:19:14,571
The toppings weren't right.

2748
01:19:14,631 --> 01:19:15,891
my dad owns a pizza place.

2749
01:19:16,168 --> 01:19:17,518
The toppings weren't right.

2750
01:19:17,518 --> 01:19:19,888
The cheese had slid to the side by

2751
01:19:19,888 --> 01:19:21,478
the time that the delivery driver

2752
01:19:21,478 --> 01:19:24,085
got it there, it was burn, it was too

2753
01:19:24,085 --> 01:19:25,915
cold, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

2754
01:19:26,098 --> 01:19:29,061
So finally my dad was working one day

2755
01:19:29,061 --> 01:19:31,071
and it was just him and the delivery

2756
01:19:31,071 --> 01:19:33,508
driver, and he makes the pizza.

2757
01:19:33,601 --> 01:19:34,861
He knows that this person

2758
01:19:34,861 --> 01:19:36,841
is a chronic complainer.

2759
01:19:37,081 --> 01:19:37,171
Mm-hmm.

2760
01:19:37,411 --> 01:19:38,698
So he is on it.

2761
01:19:38,821 --> 01:19:39,811
Yeah, just him in the

2762
01:19:39,811 --> 01:19:41,441
building delivery driver.

2763
01:19:41,501 --> 01:19:43,181
Nobody else makes the

2764
01:19:43,181 --> 01:19:45,185
pizza, sends it on its way.

2765
01:19:45,541 --> 01:19:47,611
Of course, like five minutes

2766
01:19:47,611 --> 01:19:49,051
later, 10 minutes later, he gets a

2767
01:19:49,051 --> 01:19:50,371
call from that person and they're

2768
01:19:50,371 --> 01:19:52,065
complaining, well, what's wrong?

2769
01:19:52,305 --> 01:19:54,225
There is a massive

2770
01:19:54,365 --> 01:19:56,525
blonde hair in my pizza.

2771
01:19:56,691 --> 01:19:58,581
My dad said there's a long blonde hair.

2772
01:19:58,721 --> 01:19:59,171
Okay.

2773
01:19:59,491 --> 01:20:01,021
are you sure it's not yours?

2774
01:20:01,131 --> 01:20:02,361
No, it can't be mine.

2775
01:20:02,361 --> 01:20:04,221
Everybody in my family has brown hair.

2776
01:20:04,401 --> 01:20:04,881
Okay.

2777
01:20:05,045 --> 01:20:06,875
if I send the delivery driver back,

2778
01:20:06,965 --> 01:20:09,155
would you give him the pizza and the

2779
01:20:09,245 --> 01:20:11,045
hair that is in that so that we can

2780
01:20:11,045 --> 01:20:12,605
figure out where this is coming from?

2781
01:20:12,825 --> 01:20:15,361
Oh, well, I mean we already ate it.

2782
01:20:15,361 --> 01:20:16,591
We ate around it, but

2783
01:20:16,591 --> 01:20:18,241
like, this is ridiculous.

2784
01:20:18,481 --> 01:20:20,101
my dad goes, you know what's also really

2785
01:20:20,101 --> 01:20:22,495
funny, the delivery driver and I are both

2786
01:20:22,495 --> 01:20:25,375
bald and nobody else is working today.

2787
01:20:25,495 --> 01:20:28,108
So they stopped ordering after that.

2788
01:20:28,108 --> 01:20:29,315
But it's just so funny.

2789
01:20:29,315 --> 01:20:30,905
And come to find out, I mean,

2790
01:20:31,038 --> 01:20:32,298
I did a little bit of Facebook

2791
01:20:32,298 --> 01:20:34,495
stalking their family's all blonde.

2792
01:20:34,585 --> 01:20:35,940
Like, what are you talking about?

2793
01:20:36,745 --> 01:20:38,665
That family had blonde hair, like.

2794
01:20:39,158 --> 01:20:41,308
So it's just funny, but yeah, it

2795
01:20:41,308 --> 01:20:43,648
does happen like all the time and

2796
01:20:43,648 --> 01:20:45,208
in so many different industries

2797
01:20:45,208 --> 01:20:46,378
that people will just try to get

2798
01:20:46,378 --> 01:20:48,808
away with scamming you and mm-hmm.

2799
01:20:48,878 --> 01:20:50,338
You have to protect yourself

2800
01:20:50,338 --> 01:20:51,238
as a business owner.

2801
01:20:51,238 --> 01:20:52,178
Like you just, Yeah.

2802
01:20:52,178 --> 01:20:53,258
I feel bad for when things

2803
01:20:53,258 --> 01:20:54,568
like this happen though.

2804
01:20:54,568 --> 01:20:55,888
I will say, like we were saying

2805
01:20:55,888 --> 01:20:56,958
throughout this, there were

2806
01:20:56,958 --> 01:20:59,278
definitely learning moments from this.

2807
01:20:59,278 --> 01:20:59,368
Mm-hmm.

2808
01:20:59,610 --> 01:21:02,056
management wise or whatever, and

2809
01:21:02,056 --> 01:21:05,296
policy wise, but I think that maybe

2810
01:21:05,296 --> 01:21:06,556
it, from the sounds of it, maybe

2811
01:21:06,556 --> 01:21:08,626
this was kind of a newer thing for

2812
01:21:08,626 --> 01:21:10,186
them and they just didn't have those

2813
01:21:10,186 --> 01:21:13,111
policies or whatever in place yet.

2814
01:21:13,111 --> 01:21:13,121
Yeah.

2815
01:21:13,336 --> 01:21:15,950
I think that this is us seeing

2816
01:21:15,980 --> 01:21:18,020
what kind of happens to a lot

2817
01:21:18,020 --> 01:21:19,160
of professionals where you have

2818
01:21:19,160 --> 01:21:20,883
something like this happen, which.

2819
01:21:21,273 --> 01:21:22,863
Builds those standards and things

2820
01:21:22,863 --> 01:21:24,393
like that for it to not happen again.

2821
01:21:24,393 --> 01:21:25,263
So I think we might have

2822
01:21:25,263 --> 01:21:27,333
seen the beginning of this

2823
01:21:27,483 --> 01:21:30,333
golf courses event planning.

2824
01:21:30,333 --> 01:21:30,603
They've been real

2825
01:21:30,603 --> 01:21:31,413
strict now.

2826
01:21:31,563 --> 01:21:32,973
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2827
01:21:32,973 --> 01:21:33,693
Which sucks.

2828
01:21:33,693 --> 01:21:34,623
You have to learn that way.

2829
01:21:34,623 --> 01:21:36,873
Losing $16,000 and then some.

2830
01:21:36,873 --> 01:21:36,933
Yeah.

2831
01:21:37,443 --> 01:21:38,336
'cause they said they kept

2832
01:21:38,336 --> 01:21:39,956
adding on all these extras so.

2833
01:21:40,046 --> 01:21:40,796
Hopefully this was a learning

2834
01:21:40,796 --> 01:21:42,566
That's so awful moment for them.

2835
01:21:42,566 --> 01:21:43,803
But think about the, the

2836
01:21:43,803 --> 01:21:44,733
couple that got married.

2837
01:21:44,733 --> 01:21:47,133
your wedding was built on a lie.

2838
01:21:47,413 --> 01:21:48,343
A lie.

2839
01:21:48,486 --> 01:21:50,340
That's really wild.

2840
01:21:50,340 --> 01:21:51,690
And like bad juju.

2841
01:21:51,690 --> 01:21:53,160
Like why would you want that?

2842
01:21:53,190 --> 01:21:53,730
Yeah.

2843
01:21:53,970 --> 01:21:54,810
I'm curious to know,

2844
01:21:54,810 --> 01:21:55,680
are they still married?

2845
01:21:56,040 --> 01:21:58,200
I know, I was, I was thinking that too.

2846
01:21:58,820 --> 01:22:00,746
I'm like, I could not, like your kids

2847
01:22:00,746 --> 01:22:02,786
are, or your kids or family one day is

2848
01:22:02,786 --> 01:22:04,496
asking about your wedding and you're

2849
01:22:04,496 --> 01:22:05,996
like, oh yeah, it was at this place.

2850
01:22:06,103 --> 01:22:07,333
Do you think they like, lie about it?

2851
01:22:07,333 --> 01:22:08,533
Like, oh, it was amazing.

2852
01:22:09,103 --> 01:22:09,283
Yeah, they loved it.

2853
01:22:09,476 --> 01:22:10,916
Oh, it was ter you know,

2854
01:22:10,916 --> 01:22:12,313
like, ' cause if it had all the

2855
01:22:12,313 --> 01:22:14,413
things they wanted, I don't know.

2856
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:16,270
And they never specified either if it

2857
01:22:16,270 --> 01:22:17,830
was the bride and groom refusing to

2858
01:22:17,830 --> 01:22:19,780
pay, or if it was the moms coming in

2859
01:22:19,890 --> 01:22:21,390
right saying they're not gonna pay.

2860
01:22:21,593 --> 01:22:22,763
so it makes me wonder maybe it was

2861
01:22:22,763 --> 01:22:24,683
like a fake account or like a the Yeah.

2862
01:22:25,043 --> 01:22:26,543
Opened up a new account and was like,

2863
01:22:26,543 --> 01:22:27,533
okay, we're gonna write a check.

2864
01:22:27,593 --> 01:22:27,893
Huh.

2865
01:22:28,055 --> 01:22:28,985
So many questions.

2866
01:22:28,985 --> 01:22:30,215
It's, I love, love getting

2867
01:22:30,215 --> 01:22:30,785
vendor

2868
01:22:30,815 --> 01:22:32,825
stories, but I also like am like, oh,

2869
01:22:32,825 --> 01:22:34,355
I don't like there's so much missing.

2870
01:22:34,355 --> 01:22:34,445
Right?

2871
01:22:34,445 --> 01:22:34,505
I

2872
01:22:34,505 --> 01:22:35,795
wish I could call them and be like,

2873
01:22:35,795 --> 01:22:38,195
okay, wait, so yeah, what happened?

2874
01:22:38,528 --> 01:22:39,188
I know.

2875
01:22:39,218 --> 01:22:39,728
Oh my gosh.

2876
01:22:39,728 --> 01:22:40,313
That was wild.

2877
01:22:40,470 --> 01:22:40,760
That

2878
01:22:40,760 --> 01:22:41,280
was real.

2879
01:22:41,521 --> 01:22:43,591
Well, I always like to end these with,

2880
01:22:43,591 --> 01:22:45,331
as I shake my whole computer right now.

2881
01:22:45,425 --> 01:22:47,195
I was like to end these with

2882
01:22:47,375 --> 01:22:50,405
confessions people send me on Instagram.

2883
01:22:50,525 --> 01:22:51,708
So here we go.

2884
01:22:51,788 --> 01:22:54,638
This is about biggest wedding regrets.

2885
01:22:54,998 --> 01:22:55,448
Ooh,

2886
01:22:55,718 --> 01:22:56,228
that's a good one.

2887
01:22:56,318 --> 01:22:56,678
Okay.

2888
01:22:56,738 --> 01:22:57,218
Yeah.

2889
01:22:57,418 --> 01:22:59,755
This one says,  letting my friend

2890
01:22:59,755 --> 01:23:02,215
declare herself my maid of honor.

2891
01:23:02,365 --> 01:23:03,805
It shouldn't have been her.

2892
01:23:04,155 --> 01:23:05,745
I hear that a lot and I always

2893
01:23:05,745 --> 01:23:07,215
wonder how that happens.

2894
01:23:07,365 --> 01:23:09,315
' cause if that was a friend to like someone

2895
01:23:09,315 --> 01:23:10,695
to me saying like, oh, I'm your maid of

2896
01:23:10,695 --> 01:23:11,985
honor, and they weren't, I would, I would

2897
01:23:11,985 --> 01:23:13,605
probably just laugh and just move on.

2898
01:23:13,681 --> 01:23:15,181
How do they themselves?

2899
01:23:15,463 --> 01:23:19,243
I definitely have heard this a lot from

2900
01:23:19,243 --> 01:23:22,303
my clients that, oh yeah, this person

2901
01:23:22,303 --> 01:23:24,133
kind of made themself my maid of honor.

2902
01:23:24,133 --> 01:23:25,303
Like I was gonna ask them to be

2903
01:23:25,303 --> 01:23:27,366
a bridesmaid, but I really wanted

2904
01:23:27,366 --> 01:23:28,926
this person to be my maid of honor.

2905
01:23:29,140 --> 01:23:30,850
I think what happens a lot of the

2906
01:23:30,850 --> 01:23:34,163
time is you get people pleaser brides

2907
01:23:34,163 --> 01:23:36,713
that don't want to offend anybody.

2908
01:23:36,863 --> 01:23:39,713
This person probably means a lot to them.

2909
01:23:39,713 --> 01:23:41,933
Maybe just not in the, I think they

2910
01:23:41,933 --> 01:23:43,856
should be made of honor way, but I

2911
01:23:43,856 --> 01:23:45,566
think that it's hard when they're trying

2912
01:23:45,566 --> 01:23:47,366
to make sure that everybody's happy.

2913
01:23:47,366 --> 01:23:49,466
They don't want to start wedding drama.

2914
01:23:49,466 --> 01:23:50,936
Especially when it comes to

2915
01:23:50,936 --> 01:23:52,446
bridesmaids, like you're usually

2916
01:23:52,446 --> 01:23:54,006
picking that out pretty early

2917
01:23:54,006 --> 01:23:55,356
in the wedding planning process.

2918
01:23:55,356 --> 01:23:57,486
Like, yeah, who wants to start that drama?

2919
01:23:57,606 --> 01:23:59,930
But I will say, if you are somebody

2920
01:23:59,930 --> 01:24:01,850
that recently got engaged or

2921
01:24:01,850 --> 01:24:03,200
you're just announcing bridal

2922
01:24:03,200 --> 01:24:05,120
party members and somebody's trying

2923
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:07,853
to assert that, I think that.

2924
01:24:08,100 --> 01:24:10,470
It's really important and in the long

2925
01:24:10,470 --> 01:24:14,733
run better to just be clear right away.

2926
01:24:14,913 --> 01:24:16,770
And I know that a lot of people

2927
01:24:16,770 --> 01:24:18,780
like to do those bridesmaids boxes

2928
01:24:18,780 --> 01:24:20,130
or things like that where they're

2929
01:24:20,130 --> 01:24:22,803
asking people, definitely make sure

2930
01:24:22,803 --> 01:24:25,623
that you give yourself time between

2931
01:24:25,623 --> 01:24:28,023
announcing the engagement and picking

2932
01:24:28,023 --> 01:24:30,456
your bridesmaids that you kind of like

2933
01:24:30,486 --> 01:24:32,436
have everything so you can quickly

2934
01:24:32,436 --> 01:24:34,780
do that so that this doesn't happen.

2935
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:35,050
Yeah.

2936
01:24:35,050 --> 01:24:36,370
'cause I think that it's when there's

2937
01:24:36,370 --> 01:24:38,470
that gap that people can just assume

2938
01:24:38,470 --> 01:24:40,300
and then push their way into it.

2939
01:24:40,540 --> 01:24:40,830
Yeah.

2940
01:24:40,950 --> 01:24:41,705
I think it's important.

2941
01:24:41,705 --> 01:24:42,845
Like if you're announcing that

2942
01:24:42,845 --> 01:24:45,065
you're engaged, maybe within a

2943
01:24:45,065 --> 01:24:46,985
week or two you're asking people,

2944
01:24:46,985 --> 01:24:48,305
and maybe that's a big turnaround.

2945
01:24:48,335 --> 01:24:48,995
I don't know.

2946
01:24:49,095 --> 01:24:50,445
It's a little bit hard if you don't

2947
01:24:50,445 --> 01:24:52,470
know the engagement's coming, but Right.

2948
01:24:52,911 --> 01:24:55,161
I do think like it's important to have a

2949
01:24:55,251 --> 01:24:57,231
list and roster in the back of your mind.

2950
01:24:57,231 --> 01:24:59,281
If you're knowing within a year I'm

2951
01:24:59,281 --> 01:25:00,721
probably gonna be getting engaged

2952
01:25:00,721 --> 01:25:02,311
to like you, you or I'm gonna be

2953
01:25:02,311 --> 01:25:03,391
getting engaged, like you should

2954
01:25:03,391 --> 01:25:05,191
probably have somewhat of a roster.

2955
01:25:05,191 --> 01:25:05,251
See?

2956
01:25:05,320 --> 01:25:05,610
Yeah.

2957
01:25:05,615 --> 01:25:06,115
Yeah.

2958
01:25:06,348 --> 01:25:07,458
Because even if you don't have like the

2959
01:25:07,458 --> 01:25:09,461
bridesmaid boxes ready or whatever you're

2960
01:25:09,461 --> 01:25:11,628
gonna do, you can at least be like, oh,

2961
01:25:11,628 --> 01:25:14,028
you know, I actually, my sister or my

2962
01:25:14,028 --> 01:25:16,271
friend over here, or Yeah, whatever.

2963
01:25:16,331 --> 01:25:16,391
Yeah.

2964
01:25:16,391 --> 01:25:18,611
It's just gonna, is being that person.

2965
01:25:19,121 --> 01:25:21,551
And it might be awkward, like it probably

2966
01:25:21,551 --> 01:25:23,741
will be awkward, those conversations, but

2967
01:25:23,741 --> 01:25:25,931
I'd rather you have a conversation early

2968
01:25:25,931 --> 01:25:28,385
on and it be a little bit awkward than to

2969
01:25:28,385 --> 01:25:31,145
be submitting that you regret it to us.

2970
01:25:31,235 --> 01:25:31,295
Yeah.

2971
01:25:31,775 --> 01:25:32,105
Yes.

2972
01:25:32,265 --> 01:25:33,675
Because then you're giving in and

2973
01:25:33,675 --> 01:25:35,298
then you're making it their day.

2974
01:25:35,298 --> 01:25:35,358
Yeah.

2975
01:25:35,555 --> 01:25:36,965
Not completely, I get that.

2976
01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:38,405
But like you're still like.

2977
01:25:38,598 --> 01:25:39,198
They're gonna have

2978
01:25:39,198 --> 01:25:40,128
their way with whatever.

2979
01:25:40,128 --> 01:25:41,275
Oh, gonna be these bride.

2980
01:25:41,305 --> 01:25:41,935
Like what does it,

2981
01:25:42,025 --> 01:25:43,165
what, where does it end?

2982
01:25:43,318 --> 01:25:43,408
Right?

2983
01:25:43,408 --> 01:25:44,578
We're gonna have these bridesmaid dresses.

2984
01:25:44,578 --> 01:25:46,168
'cause I like these best for my body.

2985
01:25:46,258 --> 01:25:46,528
Right?

2986
01:25:46,571 --> 01:25:47,948
Well wait, you weren't even supposed

2987
01:25:47,948 --> 01:25:48,848
to be the maid of honor and then you're

2988
01:25:48,848 --> 01:25:50,528
gonna have this resentment, I feel like.

2989
01:25:50,618 --> 01:25:51,248
Exactly.

2990
01:25:51,248 --> 01:25:52,898
No, I 1000% agree.

2991
01:25:53,191 --> 01:25:55,845
let's see, this says letting

2992
01:25:55,845 --> 01:25:57,855
my mother-in-law add over 40

2993
01:25:57,855 --> 01:25:59,555
guests to the list, which meant

2994
01:25:59,555 --> 01:26:01,445
cutting down our friends list.

2995
01:26:01,695 --> 01:26:02,145
Ooh.

2996
01:26:02,758 --> 01:26:06,611
So I personally told like family

2997
01:26:06,611 --> 01:26:08,591
members, like they were allowed X

2998
01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,811
amount of people that they could invite.

2999
01:26:10,975 --> 01:26:12,445
But I also made it clear, like

3000
01:26:12,528 --> 01:26:13,908
I still wanted it to be people

3001
01:26:13,908 --> 01:26:15,588
that were like in my life.

3002
01:26:15,588 --> 01:26:16,938
Like I wouldn't want my mom to

3003
01:26:16,938 --> 01:26:19,338
invite like a random person from our

3004
01:26:19,338 --> 01:26:21,528
church that knew me when I was three.

3005
01:26:21,528 --> 01:26:22,848
Like, that would be kind of odd.

3006
01:26:23,068 --> 01:26:25,248
I definitely think you have to kind of

3007
01:26:25,248 --> 01:26:27,528
go into things like that, like that,

3008
01:26:27,528 --> 01:26:29,738
where you're giving like a, Hey, so

3009
01:26:29,911 --> 01:26:32,551
so-and-so's gonna have this many people,

3010
01:26:32,551 --> 01:26:34,621
I'm gonna have this many people, his

3011
01:26:34,711 --> 01:26:36,451
family's gonna have this many people.

3012
01:26:36,571 --> 01:26:37,981
You guys can have this many people.

3013
01:26:37,981 --> 01:26:39,541
And that's how we're reaching capacity.

3014
01:26:39,541 --> 01:26:41,281
Like I think that you have to be very

3015
01:26:41,281 --> 01:26:44,281
clear with those things from the get go.

3016
01:26:44,411 --> 01:26:44,951
Yes.

3017
01:26:45,131 --> 01:26:45,521
Yeah.

3018
01:26:45,611 --> 01:26:46,901
Especially if it seems like

3019
01:26:46,901 --> 01:26:48,738
someone that everybody's their best

3020
01:26:48,738 --> 01:26:50,058
friend or everyone's their friend.

3021
01:26:50,248 --> 01:26:50,578
Right.

3022
01:26:50,638 --> 01:26:51,418
Just give like a little limit.

3023
01:26:51,418 --> 01:26:53,818
Be like, okay, you can tell me 20 people.

3024
01:26:53,908 --> 01:26:54,118
Right?

3025
01:26:54,118 --> 01:26:54,628
Yeah.

3026
01:26:54,628 --> 01:26:55,438
And then if they give you 20 and they're

3027
01:26:55,438 --> 01:26:56,938
like, Hey, I also wanna invite so and

3028
01:26:56,938 --> 01:26:58,408
so, then sure you can give wiggle room.

3029
01:26:58,571 --> 01:26:59,411
But when you give a free

3030
01:26:59,411 --> 01:27:01,151
reign, that's scary territory.

3031
01:27:01,251 --> 01:27:01,551
Yeah.

3032
01:27:01,641 --> 01:27:03,441
And even with wiggle room, you

3033
01:27:03,441 --> 01:27:04,911
have to be clear though too.

3034
01:27:05,031 --> 01:27:06,225
Like if somebody's like, oh my

3035
01:27:06,225 --> 01:27:08,235
gosh, I know I gave you 20 people,

3036
01:27:08,235 --> 01:27:10,728
but like so and so has to be there.

3037
01:27:10,728 --> 01:27:12,408
I just totally blanked and forgot.

3038
01:27:12,518 --> 01:27:14,048
You could be like, okay, yeah, maybe we

3039
01:27:14,048 --> 01:27:15,578
could squeeze that one more person in,

3040
01:27:15,578 --> 01:27:17,378
but like we're really done after that.

3041
01:27:17,378 --> 01:27:18,668
Like you can't be like, okay, yeah,

3042
01:27:18,668 --> 01:27:20,408
I guess this is not another person.

3043
01:27:20,408 --> 01:27:21,938
Like, 'cause the more you're lax

3044
01:27:22,165 --> 01:27:23,755
again, give an inch, take a mile

3045
01:27:23,755 --> 01:27:25,075
type of thing is gonna happen.

3046
01:27:25,165 --> 01:27:25,825
Yes.

3047
01:27:25,885 --> 01:27:26,125
Yeah.

3048
01:27:26,125 --> 01:27:26,905
100%.

3049
01:27:27,078 --> 01:27:27,288
Yeah.

3050
01:27:27,358 --> 01:27:29,608
okay, let's do a one more.

3051
01:27:29,901 --> 01:27:32,091
This one says, I regret not eloping.

3052
01:27:32,248 --> 01:27:33,508
Should have saved the money

3053
01:27:33,508 --> 01:27:34,798
and skipped the drama.

3054
01:27:34,965 --> 01:27:35,475
Okay.

3055
01:27:35,625 --> 01:27:38,085
I have heard this so

3056
01:27:38,145 --> 01:27:40,485
much, like a lot, a lot.

3057
01:27:40,515 --> 01:27:43,125
I'm talking even on wedding days, I hear

3058
01:27:43,125 --> 01:27:45,645
this like, oh yeah, because sometimes

3059
01:27:45,645 --> 01:27:48,525
the lead up drama is the worst part.

3060
01:27:48,525 --> 01:27:51,465
Like the scheduling of the bachelorette

3061
01:27:51,465 --> 01:27:54,405
or the bridal shower was maybe awful.

3062
01:27:54,405 --> 01:27:56,175
Like people, sometimes by the time

3063
01:27:56,175 --> 01:27:57,915
it gets to their wedding day, they're

3064
01:27:57,915 --> 01:27:59,955
like, I don't even wanna do this.

3065
01:27:59,955 --> 01:28:01,875
Like I, and it's not that they don't wanna

3066
01:28:01,875 --> 01:28:04,205
get married, it's just people they don't

3067
01:28:04,205 --> 01:28:06,425
wanna have to put on the performance and.

3068
01:28:06,608 --> 01:28:07,268
All of it.

3069
01:28:07,268 --> 01:28:09,445
So I have definitely heard that a lot.

3070
01:28:09,675 --> 01:28:12,485
I would say that if you're somebody

3071
01:28:12,618 --> 01:28:15,321
that you and your significant other,

3072
01:28:15,388 --> 01:28:17,788
you don't really necessarily want a big

3073
01:28:17,788 --> 01:28:21,921
wedding, you don't necessarily see even

3074
01:28:21,921 --> 01:28:24,591
a wedding as like a big thing to you.

3075
01:28:24,715 --> 01:28:26,245
And maybe financially it's

3076
01:28:26,245 --> 01:28:27,985
not the best option for you.

3077
01:28:28,175 --> 01:28:29,735
It is never worth it to put

3078
01:28:29,735 --> 01:28:31,355
yourself in debt to have a wedding.

3079
01:28:31,475 --> 01:28:33,068
That is wild to me.

3080
01:28:33,128 --> 01:28:35,198
I have had brides tell me that they

3081
01:28:35,198 --> 01:28:37,478
have taken out loans for their wedding.

3082
01:28:38,006 --> 01:28:38,456
Couldn't

3083
01:28:38,456 --> 01:28:38,726
be me.

3084
01:28:39,126 --> 01:28:39,726
Couldn't be

3085
01:28:39,726 --> 01:28:39,966
me.

3086
01:28:40,291 --> 01:28:42,076
It's consumerism, and wedding culture

3087
01:28:42,106 --> 01:28:44,076
altogether of like, you need the

3088
01:28:44,076 --> 01:28:46,026
biggest, best wedding to post all of our

3089
01:28:46,026 --> 01:28:47,646
social media and have this grand day.

3090
01:28:47,646 --> 01:28:48,216
And it's like.

3091
01:28:48,426 --> 01:28:49,536
Yes, weddings are beautiful

3092
01:28:49,536 --> 01:28:50,406
and amazing, but at the end of

3093
01:28:50,406 --> 01:28:52,066
the day, it is a day, right?

3094
01:28:52,066 --> 01:28:53,686
And you do not wanna go into

3095
01:28:53,686 --> 01:28:56,026
your marriage broke or, owing a

3096
01:28:56,026 --> 01:28:57,796
bunch of money or having debt.

3097
01:28:58,082 --> 01:28:59,342
That is, I feel like that is

3098
01:28:59,342 --> 01:29:00,782
just like such a hard thing

3099
01:29:00,782 --> 01:29:02,402
to go into a marriage with.

3100
01:29:02,842 --> 01:29:05,086
And I think that people kind of

3101
01:29:05,086 --> 01:29:07,366
have created this almost stigma

3102
01:29:07,366 --> 01:29:09,111
of, it's like a bad thing to elope.

3103
01:29:09,514 --> 01:29:10,864
It doesn't have to be a bad thing.

3104
01:29:10,864 --> 01:29:12,544
Some of the most beautiful

3105
01:29:12,544 --> 01:29:14,554
weddings have been elopements.

3106
01:29:14,777 --> 01:29:16,577
One of my friends, her name you guys might

3107
01:29:16,577 --> 01:29:19,774
follow her online, is um, Mermeg Hair.

3108
01:29:19,911 --> 01:29:22,611
Her and her husband got eloped, and

3109
01:29:22,671 --> 01:29:24,381
I wanna say they were out in like

3110
01:29:24,644 --> 01:29:26,774
some like desert, sorry, Meg if

3111
01:29:26,774 --> 01:29:27,704
you're watching, but they were in

3112
01:29:27,704 --> 01:29:29,953
some sort of desert, beautiful thing.

3113
01:29:29,953 --> 01:29:32,203
And what they prioritized was the

3114
01:29:32,203 --> 01:29:34,573
photography, and that was where

3115
01:29:34,573 --> 01:29:35,953
the majority of their budget went.

3116
01:29:35,953 --> 01:29:37,483
And oh, my word, talk

3117
01:29:37,483 --> 01:29:39,163
about magazine wedding.

3118
01:29:39,193 --> 01:29:41,473
Like some of the most stunning

3119
01:29:41,667 --> 01:29:43,797
wedding photos I've seen of my life.

3120
01:29:43,967 --> 01:29:45,047
And it was an elopement.

3121
01:29:45,077 --> 01:29:47,117
Like it doesn't have to be like, oh,

3122
01:29:47,117 --> 01:29:49,037
I'm giving up these beautiful photos.

3123
01:29:49,037 --> 01:29:49,907
Oh, I'm giving up.

3124
01:29:50,133 --> 01:29:51,513
I can get great makeup done.

3125
01:29:51,640 --> 01:29:53,770
You can invest now in the things

3126
01:29:53,770 --> 01:29:55,990
that do matter to you more.

3127
01:29:55,990 --> 01:29:57,790
Like maybe you really, really want

3128
01:29:57,790 --> 01:29:59,560
good photos, but you don't care

3129
01:29:59,560 --> 01:30:01,480
if it's just four of you there.

3130
01:30:01,540 --> 01:30:03,503
Like, you can invest in those things

3131
01:30:03,503 --> 01:30:05,033
now because you're not spending.

3132
01:30:05,253 --> 01:30:07,233
$50,000 on a wedding.

3133
01:30:07,337 --> 01:30:07,817
Right.

3134
01:30:07,950 --> 01:30:08,730
I think it's one of those

3135
01:30:08,730 --> 01:30:10,080
things too about like knowing

3136
01:30:10,080 --> 01:30:11,550
yourself, knowing your family.

3137
01:30:11,700 --> 01:30:13,410
If there's high tensions and you're

3138
01:30:13,410 --> 01:30:16,284
like, gosh, our families clash, or

3139
01:30:16,284 --> 01:30:18,988
gosh, like my friends are just don't get

3140
01:30:18,988 --> 01:30:20,758
along with so and so, you know, whatever

3141
01:30:20,758 --> 01:30:22,108
that is, and you're already stress

3142
01:30:22,108 --> 01:30:24,058
thinking about it, maybe that's a sign.

3143
01:30:24,058 --> 01:30:24,118
Yeah.

3144
01:30:24,304 --> 01:30:25,534
Everyone knows themselves best.

3145
01:30:25,574 --> 01:30:27,444
like for me, I did not want a huge

3146
01:30:27,444 --> 01:30:29,568
wedding, but I also could not, I could

3147
01:30:29,568 --> 01:30:31,218
only picture like all of our families

3148
01:30:31,218 --> 01:30:33,144
and friends together dancing like

3149
01:30:33,144 --> 01:30:34,914
hanging out in like one big party.

3150
01:30:35,141 --> 01:30:36,281
so it wasn't like humongous, but

3151
01:30:36,281 --> 01:30:37,991
it wasn't really small either, but.

3152
01:30:38,214 --> 01:30:39,564
For me, that was important to me

3153
01:30:39,564 --> 01:30:41,094
and my husband, but we didn't have

3154
01:30:41,424 --> 01:30:42,624
drama leading up to it that we

3155
01:30:42,624 --> 01:30:43,981
were like, oh, I'm so nervous about

3156
01:30:43,981 --> 01:30:45,391
people being in the same room.

3157
01:30:45,518 --> 01:30:46,868
But I know a lot of the times when

3158
01:30:46,868 --> 01:30:48,938
they regret, I feel like it's because

3159
01:30:48,938 --> 01:30:50,318
they're getting pressure from someone

3160
01:30:50,318 --> 01:30:51,818
saying, you need to have this wedding.

3161
01:30:52,018 --> 01:30:53,068
We need to have this big wedding

3162
01:30:53,068 --> 01:30:54,478
to show off to everybody.

3163
01:30:54,655 --> 01:30:56,005
But meanwhile, the bride and groom

3164
01:30:56,005 --> 01:30:57,415
are the ones like suffering because

3165
01:30:57,415 --> 01:30:58,678
they're like, this isn't right us.

3166
01:30:58,678 --> 01:30:59,968
This isn't what we want.

3167
01:31:00,238 --> 01:31:00,628
Right.

3168
01:31:00,711 --> 01:31:02,905
So you have to be mindful.

3169
01:31:02,965 --> 01:31:05,065
It's okay to get people's

3170
01:31:05,065 --> 01:31:06,775
opinions, especially when it's from

3171
01:31:06,775 --> 01:31:09,261
people that you really do value.

3172
01:31:09,261 --> 01:31:10,791
Like maybe your parents are very

3173
01:31:10,791 --> 01:31:12,661
important and big in your life.

3174
01:31:12,861 --> 01:31:15,531
it is okay to take those opinions,

3175
01:31:15,531 --> 01:31:17,745
but at the end of the day, if that

3176
01:31:17,745 --> 01:31:20,385
is not what you want, who's the one

3177
01:31:20,385 --> 01:31:22,245
going in debt because of these things?

3178
01:31:22,245 --> 01:31:23,895
Who's the one that's living with the fact

3179
01:31:23,895 --> 01:31:25,845
that, oh, my wedding was so stressful

3180
01:31:25,845 --> 01:31:27,685
and so dramatic, and da, da da, da da.

3181
01:31:27,855 --> 01:31:29,055
It's not your parents.

3182
01:31:29,208 --> 01:31:31,968
It's you, so you have to be mindful

3183
01:31:31,968 --> 01:31:34,308
of yourself when it comes to wedding

3184
01:31:34,338 --> 01:31:36,788
planning and just like weddings in

3185
01:31:36,788 --> 01:31:39,368
general, because ideally, I mean, I

3186
01:31:39,368 --> 01:31:40,658
know it doesn't happen all the time.

3187
01:31:40,658 --> 01:31:41,498
This is a once in a

3188
01:31:41,498 --> 01:31:42,788
lifetime thing for you.

3189
01:31:42,818 --> 01:31:43,838
I know people get remarried.

3190
01:31:43,838 --> 01:31:44,798
I'm not saying that, but

3191
01:31:44,798 --> 01:31:46,488
I'm saying what you are.

3192
01:31:46,608 --> 01:31:48,108
Nobody's going into a wedding hoping

3193
01:31:48,108 --> 01:31:49,398
that they're gonna get married again.

3194
01:31:49,588 --> 01:31:50,818
You are hoping that this is

3195
01:31:50,818 --> 01:31:51,898
a once in a lifetime thing.

3196
01:31:51,898 --> 01:31:54,418
Do you want to be like the thing

3197
01:31:54,418 --> 01:31:56,458
that's behind that is stress?

3198
01:31:56,692 --> 01:31:59,302
No, I don't think that anybody wants that.

3199
01:31:59,302 --> 01:32:02,562
So yeah, I think that taking opinions

3200
01:32:02,562 --> 01:32:04,422
and valuing people's input is

3201
01:32:04,422 --> 01:32:06,972
important, but never to the point where

3202
01:32:06,972 --> 01:32:10,738
it's diminishing your own wants or

3203
01:32:10,858 --> 01:32:13,288
finances, I guess, even in this case.

3204
01:32:13,312 --> 01:32:14,812
Yeah, absolutely.

3205
01:32:14,955 --> 01:32:17,265
Definitely listen to your gut on that one

3206
01:32:17,265 --> 01:32:19,015
and be on the same page with your partner

3207
01:32:19,015 --> 01:32:20,805
and then yeah, move forward from there.

3208
01:32:21,843 --> 01:32:23,507
Well, thank you so much for coming on.

3209
01:32:23,687 --> 01:32:24,197
Yeah.

3210
01:32:24,197 --> 01:32:25,157
Like I'm just realizing the time.

3211
01:32:25,157 --> 01:32:26,147
I'm like, so sorry I took

3212
01:32:26,147 --> 01:32:26,867
so much of your time.

3213
01:32:26,867 --> 01:32:27,227
No,

3214
01:32:27,287 --> 01:32:28,697
I can't see the time,

3215
01:32:28,697 --> 01:32:30,047
so I'm just here to Yap.

3216
01:32:30,347 --> 01:32:31,697
Yeah, no, this is, I'm a certified yapper.

3217
01:32:31,697 --> 01:32:32,177
I love it.

3218
01:32:32,357 --> 01:32:32,777
I love

3219
01:32:32,930 --> 01:32:34,250
No, I remember you saying that last time.

3220
01:32:34,250 --> 01:32:34,700
I love it.

3221
01:32:34,730 --> 01:32:35,900
'cause I get in that tendency

3222
01:32:35,900 --> 01:32:37,160
of like just yapping too.

3223
01:32:37,160 --> 01:32:38,210
And so like, I love when we're

3224
01:32:38,210 --> 01:32:39,380
on the same page as that.

3225
01:32:39,548 --> 01:32:41,108
So can you, for everyone listening, can

3226
01:32:41,108 --> 01:32:42,608
you tell them where they can follow you?

3227
01:32:42,608 --> 01:32:43,748
Anything fun you're working

3228
01:32:43,748 --> 01:32:45,008
on and all that good stuff?

3229
01:32:45,308 --> 01:32:45,368
Yeah,

3230
01:32:45,423 --> 01:32:48,423
so you can follow me on TikTok, Instagram,

3231
01:32:48,423 --> 01:32:50,763
YouTube, tiktoks gonna be my biggest one,

3232
01:32:50,763 --> 01:32:53,493
but it's at Kendra Matthies, everywhere

3233
01:32:53,493 --> 01:32:55,503
else, it's just at Kendra Matthies.

3234
01:32:55,670 --> 01:32:58,320
I'm currently working on, depending on

3235
01:32:58,320 --> 01:32:59,970
when this is getting posted, I'm gonna be

3236
01:32:59,970 --> 01:33:03,297
in Premier Anaheim, Anaheim, California.

3237
01:33:03,427 --> 01:33:04,837
February 1st and second, I'm gonna

3238
01:33:04,837 --> 01:33:06,547
be teaching multiple classes there.

3239
01:33:07,193 --> 01:33:09,173
Otherwise, I have some other

3240
01:33:09,173 --> 01:33:10,793
classes that I'm teaching.

3241
01:33:10,793 --> 01:33:12,443
Come April, I'm gonna be in Chicago

3242
01:33:12,443 --> 01:33:14,093
again for America's beauty show,

3243
01:33:14,378 --> 01:33:17,093
and then I am working on some.

3244
01:33:17,558 --> 01:33:18,878
Independent classes.

3245
01:33:19,118 --> 01:33:20,678
Oh, you guys heard it first, but

3246
01:33:20,678 --> 01:33:22,058
I am working on some independent

3247
01:33:22,058 --> 01:33:24,298
classes, coming up in this

3248
01:33:24,298 --> 01:33:26,914
year, so stay tuned for those.

3249
01:33:26,914 --> 01:33:28,504
But you can always just follow me on

3250
01:33:28,504 --> 01:33:31,594
Instagram for the latest updates on that.

3251
01:33:32,041 --> 01:33:32,461
Awesome.

3252
01:33:32,461 --> 01:33:33,121
Very exciting.

3253
01:33:33,121 --> 01:33:34,111
Sounds like a lot of fun

3254
01:33:34,111 --> 01:33:34,921
things are coming up.

3255
01:33:35,158 --> 01:33:35,578
Yes.

3256
01:33:35,578 --> 01:33:36,431
So fun.

3257
01:33:37,031 --> 01:33:37,151
Awesome.

3258
01:33:37,151 --> 01:33:38,561
Well, thanks again for coming on.

3259
01:33:38,561 --> 01:33:40,301
This was so much fun hanging out.

3260
01:33:40,517 --> 01:33:42,077
Yeah, it was great seeing you again.

3261
01:33:42,227 --> 01:33:43,517
Congratulations on having a

3262
01:33:43,517 --> 01:33:45,167
podcast still rocking and rolling.

3263
01:33:45,167 --> 01:33:46,884
I think I heard somewhere that most

3264
01:33:46,884 --> 01:33:48,684
podcasts don't make it past the

3265
01:33:48,684 --> 01:33:51,547
first five or six episodes, so Wow.

3266
01:33:51,607 --> 01:33:51,847
That's good.

3267
01:33:51,847 --> 01:33:53,527
Look at you going, you're rocking

3268
01:33:53,552 --> 01:33:56,557
and rolling and I can't wait to see

3269
01:33:56,647 --> 01:33:59,367
what comes for you with the podcast.

3270
01:33:59,367 --> 01:34:00,687
I love watching your skits and

3271
01:34:00,687 --> 01:34:02,731
everything online and yeah, I think

3272
01:34:02,731 --> 01:34:03,541
that you're doing a great job.

3273
01:34:03,784 --> 01:34:04,264
Thanks.

3274
01:34:04,474 --> 01:34:04,804
Thank you.

3275
01:34:05,184 --> 01:34:05,454
Yes.

3276
01:34:05,514 --> 01:34:05,784
All right.

3277
01:34:05,784 --> 01:34:07,464
Well thank you guys so much for watching.

3278
01:34:07,654 --> 01:34:07,834
Thank you.

3279
01:34:07,834 --> 01:34:12,051
And I will probably see you guys in

3280
01:34:12,051 --> 01:34:13,821
a story time coming soon, because

3281
01:34:13,821 --> 01:34:15,561
I told Christa I didn't wanna share

3282
01:34:15,561 --> 01:34:17,494
it here, but I think I'm gonna build

3283
01:34:17,494 --> 01:34:18,874
up the courage to share it soon.

3284
01:34:19,139 --> 01:34:19,359
Yay.

3285
01:34:19,899 --> 01:34:20,119
Yes.

3286
01:34:20,219 --> 01:34:20,439
Yay.