<v Speaker 1>Welcome to our slash smut, where we find the spiciest

<v Speaker 1>stories that Reddit has to offer and read it to you,

<v Speaker 1>horny little rats. It's time to r slash smut up

<v Speaker 1>and listen.

<v Speaker 2>Hey, it's Charlotte, It's Riley, and we're back with more

<v Speaker 2>reddita Radica, Hay sluts, Hey bag. And if you're listening

<v Speaker 2>to this on your normal podcasting platform, head on over

<v Speaker 2>to Patreon and hang out with us there. We do

<v Speaker 2>it every Tuesday.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, every Tuesday, do it?

<v Speaker 2>Or your mom's a hoe. Yeah. And this first one

<v Speaker 2>comes from Best Respond sixty seven to twenty one, and

<v Speaker 2>it's called house Dad Part one and the tags are

<v Speaker 2>male forties, female thirties, female twenties, age gap, rough, oral,

<v Speaker 2>unprotected sex. It honestly never occurred to me. I was

<v Speaker 2>looking for a place to live that was closer to

<v Speaker 2>my partner and found a great two bedroom only a

<v Speaker 2>few blocks away. It wasn't until I moved in that

<v Speaker 2>I realized I was basically moving into student housing for

<v Speaker 2>the local university. Four units in the Brownstone, and I

<v Speaker 2>was the only one living alone. The rest of the

<v Speaker 2>units were students living the apartments together. My status's house

<v Speaker 2>Dad was set in Stone from the beginning. At first,

<v Speaker 2>I was worried that it would be too loud. After all,

<v Speaker 2>I was nearly fifty and assumed that the kids would

<v Speaker 2>be having crazy parties all night every night. Turns out

<v Speaker 2>I was wrong about that too. All of my new

<v Speaker 2>neighbors were pretty quiet, and frankly, I was usually the

<v Speaker 2>one up later making noise. In addition to the music

<v Speaker 2>that was usually playing while I was home, I was

<v Speaker 2>far more likely to have guests over than they were.

<v Speaker 2>Oh what a bunch of nerds. Yeah, what are they doing?

<v Speaker 2>Where are the friends? They're youth studying.

<v Speaker 3>I mean, I already know that this guy is gonna

<v Speaker 3>fuck the kids. He's calling him kids and now he's

<v Speaker 3>going to fuck him.

<v Speaker 2>That's free.

<v Speaker 3>Oh.

<v Speaker 2>I had been dating my partner Kate for nearly two

<v Speaker 2>years when I moved in, and we had been non

<v Speaker 2>monogab the whole time. She would be over a couple

<v Speaker 2>nights per week, and I would usually have a date

<v Speaker 2>or two outside of that. Together, we hung out with

<v Speaker 2>singles and other couples, so I have to admit that

<v Speaker 2>it was probably a little confusing for my neighbors trying

<v Speaker 2>to keep up with the comings and goings in my place?

<v Speaker 2>How does this relatively normal older guy get all of

<v Speaker 2>these women to sleep with him. I'm only five eight,

<v Speaker 2>and while I'm in pretty good shape, I'm certainly not ripped.

<v Speaker 2>Oh he's a short king.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I feel like women really love just average looking dudes.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like there's nothing like an ugly hot man.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah. Like I feel like most women aren't like, oh

<v Speaker 3>I want a hot Maybe I'm wrong, but like I

<v Speaker 3>feel like most women aren't like, oh I need a

<v Speaker 3>really hot, ripped, fucking tall man.

<v Speaker 2>No, just an average joe. Just a dude, Yeah, just

<v Speaker 2>a dude. Am I wrong? I don't think so. I know.

<v Speaker 2>I'm not hell. I even have a normal cock six inches,

<v Speaker 2>nothing crazy, but it works. None of my neighbors complained, though,

<v Speaker 2>so either they couldn't hear what was happening in my

<v Speaker 2>place or they just didn't care. I settled into a

<v Speaker 2>normal routine and slowly got to know everyone else in

<v Speaker 2>the building. There were the twins across the hall, Kimmy

<v Speaker 2>and Kylie. They were in their last year of college

<v Speaker 2>and both were athletes, one of them a soccer player

<v Speaker 2>and the other across country runner. One of the units

<v Speaker 2>downstairs was occupied by Lauren and Maria. They fully embodied

<v Speaker 2>the stereotype of the English lit majors that they were.

<v Speaker 2>Sydney and Sarah lived in the fourth unit. All I

<v Speaker 2>knew about them was that they smoked a lot of pot.

<v Speaker 2>Somehow I had stumbled into living right next to six

<v Speaker 2>attractive young women. All in all, it was a good

<v Speaker 2>place to live. Yeah, your life sounds sweet, dude, Yeah

<v Speaker 2>it does.

<v Speaker 3>He sounds like he's literally just like having the best

<v Speaker 3>time of his life and is like midlife.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, good for him. A few months after moving in,

<v Speaker 2>I was having a fairly normal week. Kate had come

<v Speaker 2>over on Monday night and we had incredible sex, connecting

<v Speaker 2>for the first time in a couple days. Two nights later,

<v Speaker 2>one of my friends with benefits, Ali came over. She

<v Speaker 2>was younger, only thirty, and we had great chemistry. She

<v Speaker 2>was tall and strong five ten, with powerful legs and

<v Speaker 2>an incredible ass. She had a thing for older men

<v Speaker 2>and loved nothing more than serving me When she came over.

<v Speaker 2>Our night was fairly routine, at least for us. The

<v Speaker 2>moment she entered my place, she dropped to her knees

<v Speaker 2>and took my cock out. I took hold of her long, dark,

<v Speaker 2>wavy hair. She started to lick from my balls to

<v Speaker 2>the head of my cock. I've been craving your cock, daddy,

<v Speaker 2>she heard. Please use me like a little slut. Oh.

<v Speaker 2>I fucked her mouth in the entryway before carrying her

<v Speaker 2>back to my bedroom. I told her she needed to

<v Speaker 2>earn my cock by coming like a good girl for me.

<v Speaker 2>I made her come repeatedly with my tongue and hands

<v Speaker 2>and a wand soon she was incapable of forming words,

<v Speaker 2>simply moaning and babbling her way through her last two orgasms.

<v Speaker 2>Good girl, I could as she came down from the

<v Speaker 2>assault on her senses. Now, I'm gonna use you like

<v Speaker 2>a little fuck toy. All right, go short king. I

<v Speaker 2>knelt between her legs and slid inside her slick pussy

<v Speaker 2>with one punishing thrust. I was past the point of nuance,

<v Speaker 2>fucking her hard with long, deep strokes. She was laying

<v Speaker 2>back with her eyes closed, and to get her attention,

<v Speaker 2>I grabbed a fist full of her hair and pulled

<v Speaker 2>her head toward me. Look at me when I'm fucking you.

<v Speaker 2>I y yes, daddy, she said, eyes wide and staring

<v Speaker 2>at me. I'm so sorry, daddy, I continued fucking her

<v Speaker 2>with steady strokes and consents that she was close to

<v Speaker 2>coming again. Don't you dare fucking come without asking me?

<v Speaker 2>I won't, Daddy, I promise. Can I please come? Daddy?

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, calm down. That's a lot of daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.

<v Speaker 2>I put my hand on her throat and looked into

<v Speaker 2>her eyes. Yes, allie, you can come. She moaned and

<v Speaker 2>grunted and squeezed my cock as her orgasm overtook her.

<v Speaker 2>Thank you, Daddy, she said, tears filling her eyes. That

<v Speaker 2>did it get on your knees? I groaned. I'm gonna

<v Speaker 2>fucking come. She dropped to her knees while I stroked

<v Speaker 2>my cock inches from her face. Yes, Staddy, cover me

<v Speaker 2>with your fucking cum. Yes, studdy beautiful rope after rope

<v Speaker 2>of cum shot out of my cock, covering her chest

<v Speaker 2>and face. Completely spent, I laid back down on the bed.

<v Speaker 2>She cleaned my cock with her tongue and then went

<v Speaker 2>to the bathroom to clean up. She came back into

<v Speaker 2>the bedroom and I wrapped her in my arms. We

<v Speaker 2>talked and snuggled for a bit until it was time

<v Speaker 2>for her to go. I put on a pair of

<v Speaker 2>shorts in a tank, and we walked out into the hallway.

<v Speaker 2>I thought I overheard someone stirring in the apartment across

<v Speaker 2>the hall, but I couldn't tell. Thought of Kylie or

<v Speaker 2>kimmey overhearing me cause my cock to jump, But I

<v Speaker 2>put the thought out of my mind and walked Alley

<v Speaker 2>to her car, wishing her a good night. The end. Wow, Okay,

<v Speaker 2>the college girls had little to nothing to do with

<v Speaker 2>this story. But yeah, I thought he was gonna fuck

<v Speaker 2>them all. He fucked exactly none of them, which is

<v Speaker 2>probably a good thing.

<v Speaker 3>This next one comes from our Jr. Wrights and the

<v Speaker 3>title slash tags I think are male male armpit stink romance. Fine,

<v Speaker 3>I love an armpit?

<v Speaker 2>You do you do?

<v Speaker 1>Oh?

<v Speaker 2>You're an armpit girly.

<v Speaker 3>Zach watched his best friend from his slightly cracked door

<v Speaker 3>as he was relieving the built up pressure in his balls.

<v Speaker 3>Jeff was so eager to come that his mind didn't

<v Speaker 3>even care that his door was a jar. Weeks of

<v Speaker 3>pent up sexual urges were too strong to contain. Is

<v Speaker 3>he looking at men licking each other's armpits? Zack squinted,

<v Speaker 3>He indeed was Jeff sniffed his own before speeding up

<v Speaker 3>the fapping. Zach took a deep breath and walked into

<v Speaker 3>Jeff's room. Okay, buddy, enough is enough? Is this why some.

<v Speaker 2>Of my gym T shirts have gone missing? Do you

<v Speaker 2>sniff them? Zach questioned.

<v Speaker 3>Jeff was frantically trying to contain his cock back inside

<v Speaker 3>his underwear, but he knew it was too late. I

<v Speaker 3>can explain Jeff was shaking. Dude, There's no need to

<v Speaker 3>worry a man. I mean, sure, it's weird, but we're bros.

<v Speaker 3>If you want a pit to lick, I can help

<v Speaker 3>a brother out.

<v Speaker 2>Oh what a friend. That is a friend, Zach smiled.

<v Speaker 3>As Jeff's eyes grew wide, Zach lifted his armpit and

<v Speaker 3>leaned to the side to stick it right into Jeff's face.

<v Speaker 3>Go on, buddy, jerk one out, give it a sniff.

<v Speaker 3>Bro Zach's pitt was ripe. After a full day of

<v Speaker 3>working out. He forgot to shower and knew he was

<v Speaker 3>pretty smelly. He was doing laundry, so he didn't want

<v Speaker 3>to get sweaty again in the hot laundry room outside

<v Speaker 3>his apartment. Luckily, he found a great use for his

<v Speaker 3>stink in his best buddy and roommate, Jeff. Jeff moaned

<v Speaker 3>with every inhale of Zach's hot, garbage smelling pit. His

<v Speaker 3>strokes became easier as cock grew harder in his fist.

<v Speaker 3>As he continued to inhale, the feeling grew too intense.

<v Speaker 3>He started spraying wad after wad of come onto the bed.

<v Speaker 3>It wad. That's disgusting.

<v Speaker 2>Wod I hate that grows?

<v Speaker 3>Keep going, buddy, I bet it's still stinky as fuck.

<v Speaker 3>Zach's pit sweat started combining with the sweat on Jeff's

<v Speaker 3>face as it dripped down into Jeff's mouth.

<v Speaker 2>Just sweat in your mouth, disgusting. That is disgusting.

<v Speaker 3>Jeff tasted his roommate's funk with every swallow of his sweat. Moaning,

<v Speaker 3>Jeff submissively agreed to keep stroking. His balls were still

<v Speaker 3>loaded with so much come that he never wanted to stop. See, bro,

<v Speaker 3>what are bros for? You didn't even have to hide

<v Speaker 3>this from me. I will share as much bro stink

<v Speaker 3>with you as you can handle, Zach teased. Jeff was

<v Speaker 3>so close to his second release, still whimpering in his

<v Speaker 3>best friend's pit. Cute Kitsie, and somebody called and said,

<v Speaker 3>I think this deserves a new category called wholesomely hot.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they're just true blue friends, super hot, so hot

<v Speaker 2>armpits don't make me horny. I just love to smell

<v Speaker 2>my husband's armpits.

<v Speaker 3>The stick here your own husbands.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's fair. And this next one comes from Anastasia

<v Speaker 2>x Rose and it's called hooked up with my hot

<v Speaker 2>neighbor during a power outage and it turned into the

<v Speaker 2>wildest night and the tags are female nineteen, male, twenty four, comeshot, hardcore,

<v Speaker 2>neighbor sex, neighbor sex. Okay, so this happened a couple

<v Speaker 2>nights ago and I'm still sore from it, but in

<v Speaker 2>the best way. Lol. I'm nineteen, living in this crappy

<v Speaker 2>apartment building while going to community college, and there's this

<v Speaker 2>hot guy next door who's twenty four. I think works

<v Speaker 2>as a mechanic or something because he's always got grease

<v Speaker 2>on his hands, but damn does he fill out his shirt.

<v Speaker 2>We flirted a bit in the hallway, like he'd help

<v Speaker 2>me with groceries, and I'd catch him staring at my

<v Speaker 2>ass and my yoga pants. Never thought it would go

<v Speaker 2>anywhere though, because he's a and seems like a player.

<v Speaker 2>Well he's twenty four, he's not like that much older.

<v Speaker 3>No, I mean, if he's a player, yeah, he's gonna

<v Speaker 3>try and fuck you your.

<v Speaker 2>Brain, stupid girl. Anyway, there was this huge storm and

<v Speaker 2>the power went out around eight pm. The whole building

<v Speaker 2>dark as fuck. I was bored scrolling my phone till

<v Speaker 2>the battery died. No lights, no, I see, just humid

<v Speaker 2>and sticky. I heard a knock and it was him

<v Speaker 2>holding a flashlight and some beers saying, want to hang beats?

<v Speaker 2>Sitting alone in the dark, I let him in. We

<v Speaker 2>sat on my couch chatting about dumb stuff, getting tipsy.

<v Speaker 2>The heat made us both sweat and my tank top

<v Speaker 2>clinging to my tits, and I could see the outline

<v Speaker 2>of his dick through his shorts getting harder as we

<v Speaker 2>talked dirty jokes. What kind of dirty jokes are making

<v Speaker 2>your dick hard?

<v Speaker 3>Yeah? What kind of dirty jokes are you telling? Just

<v Speaker 3>between the two of you, like knock knock?

<v Speaker 2>Who's that my pussy y ah think's here too? Things

<v Speaker 2>escalated quick. When he dared me to take off my

<v Speaker 2>top to cool down. I laughed, but did it? My

<v Speaker 2>bro barely holding my boobs, nipples hard from the thrill.

<v Speaker 2>He dared hungry, then pulled me into his lap for

<v Speaker 2>a kiss. His lips were rough, ew use some chapstick,

<v Speaker 2>some dry ass lips, tongue invading my mouth while his

<v Speaker 2>hands groped my ass, squeezing hard. I grinded against his bold,

<v Speaker 2>feeling how thick it was, my pussy getting wet through

<v Speaker 2>my panties. You're such a tease, he growled, unhooking my

<v Speaker 2>bra and sucking on my tits, biting my nipples till

<v Speaker 2>I yelped in pleasure. His teeth sent shocked straight to

<v Speaker 2>my clit. I was dripping already. He flipped me onto

<v Speaker 2>the couch. He yanked off my shorts and panties in

<v Speaker 2>one go, spreading my legs wide. Look at that pretty pussy,

<v Speaker 2>all wet for me, he said, diving in with his tongue.

<v Speaker 2>He licked my slit slow at first, tasting my juices,

<v Speaker 2>then sucked my clit hard while fingering me deep with

<v Speaker 2>two fingers, curling them to hit my g spot. I

<v Speaker 2>was moaning loud, grabbing his hair, my hips bucking as

<v Speaker 2>he ate me out like he was starving. Fuck your

<v Speaker 2>tongue feels so good. I gasped, coming hard all over

<v Speaker 2>his face, my pussy pulsing and squirting a bit onto

<v Speaker 2>his chin. He lapped it up, smirking like he'd want

<v Speaker 2>a prize. Get those dry ass lips off my pussy

<v Speaker 2>first of all.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I would be so gross out.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah I don't like a cracked dry lip. No thank you, no,

<v Speaker 2>no break though. He stood up and dropped his shorts,

<v Speaker 2>his dick springing out huge, probably eight inches, veiny and

<v Speaker 2>throbbing with precum beating at the tip. Suck it, baby,

<v Speaker 2>he ordered, and I got on my knees eager. I

<v Speaker 2>licked the head, tasting salty precum, then took him into

<v Speaker 2>my mouth, bobbing deep until he hit my throat. He

<v Speaker 2>grabbed my head, fucking my face, gentle at first, then harder,

<v Speaker 2>calling me a good little cocksucker. My saliva dripped down

<v Speaker 2>his balls. I fondled them while gagging on his dick,

<v Speaker 2>tears in my eyes, but loving it. He pulled out

<v Speaker 2>before coming, not wanting to finish yet. He bent me

<v Speaker 2>over the arm of the couch, ass up and rubbed

<v Speaker 2>his dick against my pussy lips, teasing beg for it,

<v Speaker 2>he said, Please fuck my pussy. I need your dick,

<v Speaker 2>I whined. He slammed in all at once, stretching me wide,

<v Speaker 2>filling every inch. It hurt good, his cock pounding deep balls,

<v Speaker 2>slapping my clit with each thrust. Your pussy's so tight

<v Speaker 2>and creamy, he grunted, you know, creamy. I hate the

<v Speaker 2>word creamy when it comes to a pussy. Yeah, spanking

<v Speaker 2>my ass red while railing me doggy style. I reached

<v Speaker 2>back to rub my clip, coming again quick, my walls

<v Speaker 2>clenching around him. Juice is running down my thighs. He

<v Speaker 2>wasn't done, pulled out and sat on the couch, pulling

<v Speaker 2>me to straddle him. I lowered onto his dick, riding

<v Speaker 2>him slow at first my tit's bouncing in his face

<v Speaker 2>as he sucked them, then faster, grinding my clit against

<v Speaker 2>his pubes, his hands on my ass, guiding me ride

<v Speaker 2>that dick like a slut, he said, thrusting up to

<v Speaker 2>meet me. Sweat poured off of us, the rooms smelling

<v Speaker 2>like sex. I came once more, screaming my pussy, milking him.

<v Speaker 2>For the finale, He stood me up, pinned me up

<v Speaker 2>against the wall, lifting one leg to fuck me standing.

<v Speaker 2>His dick hit even deeper, pounding my cervix, making me

<v Speaker 2>see stars. Gonna come in your pussy, he warned, and

<v Speaker 2>I begged him too. He groaned loud, shooting hot loads

<v Speaker 2>of cumb deep inside me, filling me up till it

<v Speaker 2>leaked around his cock. I felt it dripped down my

<v Speaker 2>legs as he pulled out, both of us, panting, Okay,

<v Speaker 2>this man is a stranger. He comes home dirty with

<v Speaker 2>his dry assed lips. You just let him come in, you,

<v Speaker 2>you just raw dogged it.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, these girls are never afraid of STDs or anything

<v Speaker 3>like that, of the sort.

<v Speaker 2>One of the comments says, oh, fuck, maybe I can

<v Speaker 2>be his free use comeslut now. I wouldn't say no,

<v Speaker 2>even if he brought some of his friends to take

<v Speaker 2>advantage of me. What do you mean, you guys?

<v Speaker 3>It's all fun, you know, fun, Yes, book talk, book world, yes,

<v Speaker 3>real life, be safe?

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god? Yeah, and her phone's dead, the power's out.

<v Speaker 2>What if something bad happened? What if he literally just

<v Speaker 2>killed her? We're such old ladies, I know.

<v Speaker 3>I think about that sometimes when we're like doing our

<v Speaker 3>books during you know, when we're recording our book reviews

<v Speaker 3>or whatever not book reviews.

<v Speaker 2>But you know what I mean.

<v Speaker 3>Sometimes when I'm responding to like some of the things

<v Speaker 3>they're doing, I'm like, God, you are such an old

<v Speaker 3>vanilla ass bitch.

<v Speaker 2>I don't like, be safe, think of your future. I

<v Speaker 2>think of your health, respect yourself just and like people

<v Speaker 2>don't trust everyone, men, especially God. Yeah, God men. I

<v Speaker 2>know a lot of these women are just too trusting,

<v Speaker 2>all right.

<v Speaker 3>And this next one comes from gran NEWI DA.

<v Speaker 2>So how you'd say it, I don't know.

<v Speaker 3>And the title is I Mail twenty eight. Worked as

<v Speaker 3>a security guard at a retirement home. Those horny old

<v Speaker 3>ladies passed me around like a doobie all summer long.

<v Speaker 2>I searched old ladies or old did you Yeah?

<v Speaker 3>Whenever I told someone I worked security at a retirement facility,

<v Speaker 3>I would always be asked the same flurry of tired questions.

<v Speaker 3>These inquirers, in all their innocent curiosity, tended to focus

<v Speaker 3>on the questions of death, that sulfurous, looming cloud that

<v Speaker 3>hovered through every hallway, every room, every denture, stricken bowl

<v Speaker 3>of half eaten apple sauce. Did you ever see a corpse?

<v Speaker 2>They asked? Did you ever help cart the bodies?

<v Speaker 3>Out, or the most pressing question, do people really shit

<v Speaker 3>themselves when they die?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you're gonna shit yourself when you die. Yeah, everyone does.

<v Speaker 2>It's normal. That's why right before I die, I'm gonna

<v Speaker 2>run and go shit toilet really fast so you don't

<v Speaker 2>defecate once you're done. Yes, go out with dignity. You

<v Speaker 2>know what my thing is.

<v Speaker 3>I'm like, everyone shits, literally, fucking everyone shits, So like, yeah,

<v Speaker 3>I shit.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes I'll just

<v Speaker 2>be thinking to myself in my head and I'll be like,

<v Speaker 2>Ryan Gosling shits. He sits down on his toilet and

<v Speaker 2>he has a big, fat, nasty shit. Sometimes I literally

<v Speaker 2>think about the Kardashians. I'm like Kim Kardashian, she's shits,

<v Speaker 2>Kimi Shuenner, she shits. They all shit.

<v Speaker 3>So I don't know why we're made to feel bad

<v Speaker 3>about our shits, okay, because we all do it.

<v Speaker 2>We all shit.

<v Speaker 3>Okay, okay, now that I'm off my soap bogs. When asked,

<v Speaker 3>I could only nod affirmatively with a solemn blank stare.

<v Speaker 3>For even Mother Mary had to cover her virginal button

<v Speaker 3>nose with a nearby roman sleeve to mask the wafting

<v Speaker 3>scent of forgiven sin running down the legs of her

<v Speaker 3>only begotten son.

<v Speaker 2>Wow. Deep, Yeah, what the fuck was that?

<v Speaker 3>But there was another question that was us most often

<v Speaker 3>during adult house parties in the late twenty tens, when

<v Speaker 3>the comparative lack of world affairs meant that conversation often

<v Speaker 3>slid into the fruitless ravines of internet gossip and trivia.

<v Speaker 3>And this answer I will give to you now. Yes,

<v Speaker 3>old people be fucking yeah they do.

<v Speaker 2>Have you heard about like all of the std outbreaks

<v Speaker 2>in retirement homes because old people just be fucking No.

<v Speaker 2>That kind of grosses me out. And old people have

<v Speaker 2>fucked more than us, which is insane to think about.

<v Speaker 2>I feel like, no, no, there's no way. Yeah, they've

<v Speaker 2>had an entire lifetime of fucking. They probably did anal orgies,

<v Speaker 2>three sums, voyeurism, pony play. They probably don't seed some

<v Speaker 2>show of things mm hm. So if you need sex advice,

<v Speaker 2>to ask an old person.

<v Speaker 3>The first time I heard of one of these wrinkled

<v Speaker 3>affairs was around Christmas twenty eighteen. It was only my

<v Speaker 3>second week on the job when the weary eyed staff

<v Speaker 3>had brought up to me in conversation that something had

<v Speaker 3>been in the water, so to speak. They alleged that

<v Speaker 3>there had been a large uptick in sexual activity among

<v Speaker 3>the residents since the early autumn, when a particularly rebellious

<v Speaker 3>older gentleman convinced his grandson to sneak in a collection

<v Speaker 3>of modern porno DVDs. When the nurses finally caught a

<v Speaker 3>group in the act watching the tapes, they at first

<v Speaker 3>found it quite hilarious and innocent. This all changed, however,

<v Speaker 3>when a woman was caught giving a wheelchair lap dance

<v Speaker 3>to a paralyzed man in plain view the next morning

<v Speaker 3>during breakfast. Oh my god, Gladys get down. Later that week,

<v Speaker 3>another couple was caught heels up in the communal exercise room.

<v Speaker 3>A verico veined mania of group sex under the table,

<v Speaker 3>handies and bathroom blowies had spread throughout the quaint understaffed

<v Speaker 3>Minnesotan nursing home's elderly population, and the staff was clueless

<v Speaker 3>on how to combat it.

<v Speaker 2>Just let them fuck.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they're adults. A strict curfew of nine PM was

<v Speaker 3>quickly instated, with the most trusted and pious residence being

<v Speaker 3>conscripted to wheel around the hallways at all hours of

<v Speaker 3>the night to stop any late night booty calls until

<v Speaker 3>they too were caught taking part in these late night orgies.

<v Speaker 2>Ew.

<v Speaker 3>This all came to a head when an older gentleman

<v Speaker 3>nearly got in a brawl with his son in the

<v Speaker 3>lobby during the annual Halloween luncheon. The frustrated elder, who

<v Speaker 3>was stricken with a grocery list of heart conditions, threatened

<v Speaker 3>his son that he would be writing him out of

<v Speaker 3>his will until he agreed to sneak in a six

<v Speaker 3>month supply of Chinese made viagra for him. The two

<v Speaker 3>parties had to be separated by the nurses and an

<v Speaker 3>off duty cop who happened to be visiting his mother,

<v Speaker 3>with the older man being wheeled back to his room

<v Speaker 3>in an improvised straight jacket made of electrical tape.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, just let them fuck. Let them go

<v Speaker 2>out doing what they love to do.

<v Speaker 3>I don't understand why they're not allowed to.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, okay, so nobody's getting knocked up if they get

<v Speaker 2>an STD they're all going to die in a year

<v Speaker 2>or two anyway.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so maya as wild jeopardize their health now?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

<v Speaker 1>Fuck?

<v Speaker 2>Who cares? Yeah?

<v Speaker 3>The management decided at that point to contact the mayoral

<v Speaker 3>office of the City of Saint Paul. After long deliberation,

<v Speaker 3>it was proposed that on the weekend following Thanksgiving, the

<v Speaker 3>male population would be moved to a different facility across

<v Speaker 3>the river in Minneapolis, and the nursing home would become

<v Speaker 3>a female only residence until the current population of Heathens

<v Speaker 3>died out. This transfer was done gracefully, though in early December,

<v Speaker 3>a week before I arrived, one gentleman nearly died of

<v Speaker 3>hypothermia trying to wheelchair across I ninety four back to

<v Speaker 3>the facility in the middle of the night during a

<v Speaker 3>near blizzard, screaming at the pursuing sheriff's deputies that he

<v Speaker 3>didn't see all his friends die in Korea, just not

<v Speaker 3>get his balls. Wet okay, okay, sir. I had just

<v Speaker 3>turned twenty eight when I started the job during the

<v Speaker 3>aftermath of that debaucherous autumn. I had worked in security

<v Speaker 3>in many different settings by that point, including multiple medical facilities,

<v Speaker 3>but I had never seen a staff so clearly disheveled

<v Speaker 3>and traumatized. They were all relatively kind and welcoming to me,

<v Speaker 3>but they all had a glised an empty stare and

<v Speaker 3>eerie emptiness about them, especially around the residence. During lunch

<v Speaker 3>one day, as I was chewing on a ham sandwich,

<v Speaker 3>I asked a nurse I had grown quite fond of

<v Speaker 3>if anything out of the ordinary had happened before I came.

<v Speaker 3>She was a friendly burnette in her late fifties who

<v Speaker 3>had aged quite gracefully and claimed to have been a

<v Speaker 3>schoolteacher in her past life. As I asked the question,

<v Speaker 3>her amiable demeanor changed as she quickly stood up from

<v Speaker 3>the table, walked to the coffee pot, poured a cup,

<v Speaker 3>and explained the chronology of events.

<v Speaker 2>As she slowly stirred, she spoke of the daily.

<v Speaker 3>Incidents she'd walk into, how she still sometimes saw them

<v Speaker 3>in her dreams. After several vivid stories, I had lost

<v Speaker 3>my appetite and put down my sandwich. I watched her

<v Speaker 3>as she looked thoughtfully out the window at the hideous

<v Speaker 3>put putt green rugs lining the lobby floor, not knowing

<v Speaker 3>if I should break out in laughter from the hilarity

<v Speaker 3>of the situation or feel sorry for the poor woman

<v Speaker 3>people with nothing but time, no time left, and too

<v Speaker 3>much time to make up for. She said softly, it's

<v Speaker 3>a recipe for disaster. At least they didn't have to

<v Speaker 3>worry about condoms, I joked, it would elevate the mood

<v Speaker 3>and knock her out of her chance of a shell shock.

<v Speaker 3>They should have, she snapped back at me with a sharp,

<v Speaker 3>dreadful seriousness I had only seen before at funerals in

<v Speaker 3>court proceedings. They all tested positive for gonorrhea, every single

<v Speaker 3>one of them save for one. A silence filled the

<v Speaker 3>office as she recomposed herself from the outburst and turned

<v Speaker 3>solemnly back to her coffee. It was like teaching the

<v Speaker 3>ninth grade all over again, she muttered softly as she

<v Speaker 3>looked back out across the lobby, with tears in her eyes,

<v Speaker 3>but with diapers ow. So there, I was a spry, tall,

<v Speaker 3>muscular security man in the prime of his life, sent

<v Speaker 3>like a lamb into a wild den of expiring and

<v Speaker 3>frustrated female libido.

<v Speaker 2>If I knew then what I know now.

<v Speaker 3>I would have never stepped foot into that frigid colostomy

<v Speaker 3>bag swamp of horrors. I would have instead stayed in

<v Speaker 3>my beloved Tampa Oh you traffic jams, silicone land of

<v Speaker 3>botched areolas and unscreened melanomas.

<v Speaker 2>Never change to be continued. He didn't get passed around?

<v Speaker 3>Yeah he didn't. I wanted to hear about him get

<v Speaker 3>past between old ladies.

<v Speaker 2>And this next one comes from Striking Economists seven five

<v Speaker 2>three and it's called I'm not stopping until you do.

<v Speaker 2>How a simple game of Chicken completely changed my life?

<v Speaker 2>And the tags are female twenty two, Male twenty two,

<v Speaker 2>Dare September contest, hand job, writing, cream pie, risky sex,

<v Speaker 2>public crush. Hell yeah, it's late. The party's been over

<v Speaker 2>for a while, and at this point the only people

<v Speaker 2>left are the ones too drunk to drive home, all

<v Speaker 2>of them passed out now on various beds, couches, or floors.

<v Speaker 2>All of them except Brian and me. All right, your turn.

<v Speaker 2>His voice is hoarse from the party in the late hour.

<v Speaker 2>It has to be close to two am by now.

<v Speaker 2>Sure you don't want to quit, I'm not stopping till

<v Speaker 2>you do. I shrug, placing my card under the tab

<v Speaker 2>of the beer can we've been using as our game board.

<v Speaker 2>Brian groans as nothing happens, and I pump my fist

<v Speaker 2>in victory. The rules of the game are simple. You

<v Speaker 2>place a card under the tab of the can. If

<v Speaker 2>the can pops open, you chug the beer. If it doesn't,

<v Speaker 2>you get to dare the other person to do something.

<v Speaker 2>If they do, it's their turn. If they don't, they

<v Speaker 2>have to put two cards in before they can dare you. Oh,

<v Speaker 2>the can we're using has about ten cards in it.

<v Speaker 2>Already A stack of empty sits to my right, fallen soldiers.

<v Speaker 2>In the now hours long game of semi drunken Chicken,

<v Speaker 2>Brian and I have been playing. At first, there had

<v Speaker 2>been ten of us, and the dares had been tame

<v Speaker 2>every sentence like it's a question. Try to touch your

<v Speaker 2>tongue to your nose, take a shot. That last one

<v Speaker 2>is largely responsible for the sprawled out forms all over

<v Speaker 2>the house. Now fuck, Brian mutters, all right, what is

<v Speaker 2>it this time? I put a hand over my mouth,

<v Speaker 2>stifling a yawn. We got to wrap this up before

<v Speaker 2>I fall asleep in my chair. Time to start bringing

<v Speaker 2>out the big guns. I dare you to take your

<v Speaker 2>pants off. Brian snorts a laugh, but when I don't join,

<v Speaker 2>his mouth falls open a little. Wait, you're serious, uh huh?

<v Speaker 2>Take him off or put another card in. But it

<v Speaker 2>looks like we're getting close to the end, so choose wisely.

<v Speaker 2>He runs his fingers through his dark brown hair, making

<v Speaker 2>it stick up at odd ends, infuriatingly. It somehow makes

<v Speaker 2>him even cuter. Brian is still playing because he's competitive

<v Speaker 2>and hates to lose. I'm still playing because Brian is hot,

<v Speaker 2>and this party is the most I've ever spoken to him.

<v Speaker 2>At once, I'd meant my dare as a joke, really,

<v Speaker 2>But as he stands up, glancing around nervously at Casey

<v Speaker 2>passed out on the couch mere feet away, and Jason

<v Speaker 2>slumped in the recliner just beyond her, Suddenly I'm wide

<v Speaker 2>awake again. You're an ass, Danielle. You know that right.

<v Speaker 2>His voice is pitched low so as not to carry

<v Speaker 2>but I hear every word don't chicken out on me now.

<v Speaker 2>His hands go to his belt as he scowls at me.

<v Speaker 2>My breath catches as he shimmis out of his pants.

<v Speaker 2>His boxer shorts are dark fabric, but even so I

<v Speaker 2>can see the distinct bulge in them, a bulge that's

<v Speaker 2>much bigger than i'd imagined. I glanced away, try not

<v Speaker 2>to make it obvious how much I'd enjoyed the show

<v Speaker 2>from the way my cheeks are reddening through. I think

<v Speaker 2>he must have picked up on it, because when he

<v Speaker 2>sits down again, he gives me a cocky grin like

<v Speaker 2>what you see. Shut up? He raises a brow at me,

<v Speaker 2>his smirk unrelenting. Shall I place a card now? You

<v Speaker 2>could just give up? Nah? I don't think so. I

<v Speaker 2>bite my lip as he carefully slides the card under

<v Speaker 2>the tab, hoping to hear the telltale hiss of a

<v Speaker 2>can cracking open. When silence is all there is, though,

<v Speaker 2>it's Brian's turn to clench his fist in triumph. Ugh fine,

<v Speaker 2>I grumble. What's the take your top off? He said,

<v Speaker 2>without hesitation, his blue eyes boring into me, his smirk

<v Speaker 2>returning in full force. My mouth drops open. In my

<v Speaker 2>tipsy state, I'd assume that Brian would quit before taking

<v Speaker 2>his pants off. I'd never stop to consider what might

<v Speaker 2>happen if he didn't, unless you want to forfeit. His

<v Speaker 2>eyes narrow slightly in an unspoken challenge. The look he

<v Speaker 2>gives and he makes the hairs on my arms stand

<v Speaker 2>up and my stomach does a summersault as he gazes

<v Speaker 2>at me with undisguised interest. Holy shit, this is happening Danielle,

<v Speaker 2>he prompts playfully. Earth to Danielle, are you in there?

<v Speaker 2>I clamp my jaws shut. You think you're funny, don't you.

<v Speaker 2>I think you're stalling. I grit my teeth because he's right,

<v Speaker 2>but I don't want to give up either. His face

<v Speaker 2>lights up. As my hands go to the hem of

<v Speaker 2>my tank top. My heart flutters. This is the closest

<v Speaker 2>we've ever been. My top joins his jeans on the floor.

<v Speaker 2>Damn it, he says jokingly. I should have mentioned the

<v Speaker 2>bra too. He wants you, girl, Yeah, he does. This

<v Speaker 2>is good. I know what The view isn't good enough

<v Speaker 2>for you already this time, when his eyes meet mine,

<v Speaker 2>I consider the possibility that I might legitimately melt. He's

<v Speaker 2>smoldering that. No, the view is very good, he whispers, huskily.

<v Speaker 2>I know he must see how my nipples harden under

<v Speaker 2>the thin fabric of my bra at the heat in

<v Speaker 2>his voice. Now, are you going to place a card?

<v Speaker 2>There's an eagerness in his voice that matches the way

<v Speaker 2>my skin tingles with anticipation. My hand shakes a little

<v Speaker 2>as I slide the next card in, praying with all

<v Speaker 2>my might that it doesn't crack the can. The seal holds.

<v Speaker 2>Brian looks up at me expectantly. Both of us know

<v Speaker 2>this is more than just a game. Now, I dare

<v Speaker 2>you to kiss me. Oh my god. The words are

<v Speaker 2>out of my mouth before I even consider them, but

<v Speaker 2>Brian doesn't hesitate. He leans forward, crossing the distance between us,

<v Speaker 2>and seconds his mouth hovers over mine, his breath smelling

<v Speaker 2>of mint and beer. Like this, he murmurs, and then

<v Speaker 2>our mouths meat. I forget the world around us for

<v Speaker 2>a bit as my brain short circuits, my entire body

<v Speaker 2>focused on the feel of his lips on mine. His

<v Speaker 2>hand moves behind my head, cupping my hair gently and

<v Speaker 2>pulling me to him. As our kiss deepens, I want more.

<v Speaker 2>I need to feel his lips on all of me.

<v Speaker 2>We jump apart as Casey makes his noise in her sleep,

<v Speaker 2>turning restlessly on the couch. For a moment, we just

<v Speaker 2>stare at each other, like tags getting caught doing something

<v Speaker 2>we weren't supposed to be. And then Brian starts to laugh, silently,

<v Speaker 2>shaking mer inches away from me. I laugh too, covering

<v Speaker 2>my mouth to keep the giggles from spilling out. Your turn,

<v Speaker 2>I whispered to him. As soon as I have myself

<v Speaker 2>under control, he nods, his eyes catching mine as he

<v Speaker 2>holds up a card. The tension between us snaps back

<v Speaker 2>into place like a steel cord, and I watched with

<v Speaker 2>bated breath as he slides the card into the stack.

<v Speaker 2>I'm not hoping he loses anymore. Brian lets out a

<v Speaker 2>sigh of relief as the can hold steady. I dare

<v Speaker 2>you to come sit on my lap. I'd been expecting it,

<v Speaker 2>but even so, hearing the word sends a thrill through me. Really, really,

<v Speaker 2>unless you want to stop, I'm not stopping until you do,

<v Speaker 2>I say, defiantly, throwing his words back at him. He

<v Speaker 2>smiles at me, clearly delighted with our new game. I stand,

<v Speaker 2>brushing my skirt as I turned to face him. And

<v Speaker 2>if I wiggle my ass a little in his face,

<v Speaker 2>it's only because I saw a spot of dirt on

<v Speaker 2>the hem of the fabric that I had to brush off.

<v Speaker 2>That's all like this, I murmur in his ears. I

<v Speaker 2>hook an arm around his neck, pressing his lips against

<v Speaker 2>my cheek. I can feel his bold through the fabric

<v Speaker 2>of my skirt as I settle onto his lap. I

<v Speaker 2>swear I can feel it getting bit perfect. He whispers back,

<v Speaker 2>his voice a little breathier. Now your turn. I take

<v Speaker 2>one of the cards from his hand, making a show

<v Speaker 2>of leaning forward to put it under the tab. I

<v Speaker 2>feel him tense underneath me. Brian clearly doesn't want our

<v Speaker 2>little game to end either. The card slides in with

<v Speaker 2>all the others. We both let out a sigh of relief.

<v Speaker 2>I dare you to take your cock out, Danielle. Are

<v Speaker 2>you sure, I nod, nuzzling up against his ear, unless

<v Speaker 2>you're too chicken. Yeah, she's sure she's been wan this. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>you'd think you'd learn by now, he mutters, as his

<v Speaker 2>hand reaches between his legs, tugging at the fabric of

<v Speaker 2>his boxers. I try to stop myself from trembling. Then

<v Speaker 2>I feel something warm pressed against my inner thigh, something

<v Speaker 2>warm and a little wet. My sighe clenches. I realize

<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling his pre comb touching me, only inches from

<v Speaker 2>the place where a fire is started to blaze deep

<v Speaker 2>in my core. I can't help myself. I have to

<v Speaker 2>touch it. My fingers find a shaft wrapping around his thickness.

<v Speaker 2>Brian's inhalation is loud in my ears as I start

<v Speaker 2>to tug on his growing erection, grinding my ass on him.

<v Speaker 2>Your turn, I tease him. He's hard in my hand now,

<v Speaker 2>his cock pulsing in time with his heart beat. He

<v Speaker 2>grounds a little as he sits up, grabbing a card

<v Speaker 2>from the pile. The fact that his hands are shaking

<v Speaker 2>now too, turns me on more than I can express.

<v Speaker 2>We both watch as the card joins its fellows. We

<v Speaker 2>both hold our breath, not wanting this to end quite yet.

<v Speaker 2>We both sag with relief as the tab, now angled

<v Speaker 2>quite aggressively upward by the stack of cards underneath it,

<v Speaker 2>manages to hold on a little longer. What's your dare,

<v Speaker 2>I whispered to him, already light with anticipation. You say,

<v Speaker 2>put it in you yoo fuck me. His hand caresses

<v Speaker 2>my thigh under my skirt, tugging the hem of it

<v Speaker 2>up half an inch at a time. I'm shocked he

<v Speaker 2>can't feel how wet I am for him already, I

<v Speaker 2>dare you, he says softly into my ear, his fingers

<v Speaker 2>still moving up to my leg, to put my cock

<v Speaker 2>inside you. There it is, yep, yep, yep, yep. The

<v Speaker 2>world stands still. I forget how to breathe. All I

<v Speaker 2>know is the touch of his hand on me and

<v Speaker 2>the feel of his cock between my fingers. Unless you're

<v Speaker 2>going to give up now, Brian says, slowly, as the

<v Speaker 2>rest of the world crashes back into existence. Unless you're

<v Speaker 2>gonna let me win, I bite my lip never. He

<v Speaker 2>growls approval as I shift on him, moving my hand

<v Speaker 2>from his cock to pull my panties to the side.

<v Speaker 2>My fingers come soaked. I turn so that I'm facing him.

<v Speaker 2>See what you did to me? Before he can say anything,

<v Speaker 2>I put the fingers covered in my arousal to his lips.

<v Speaker 2>His brows furrow in confusion until he realizes what he's tasting.

<v Speaker 2>As he licks my fingers clean, I lower myself onto him.

<v Speaker 2>He and I both mown as his cock parts my folds,

<v Speaker 2>stretching me until I'm so full I can hardly think.

<v Speaker 2>My body takes over, moving up and down on his

<v Speaker 2>shaft automatically. I feel him tensing underneath me, just as

<v Speaker 2>turned on as I am, just as close weait. He

<v Speaker 2>gasps desperately, Not yet, what's it's your turn? I slow

<v Speaker 2>my pace, a devious grin, spreading across my face. I

<v Speaker 2>guess it is huh, can't forget about the game?

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they can't forget. I'd be like, Okay, we're fucking

<v Speaker 3>right now.

<v Speaker 2>What more do you want from me?

<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

<v Speaker 2>I twist around, grabbing a handful of cards and squeezing

<v Speaker 2>his cock with my pussy at the same time, making

<v Speaker 2>him groan. In the semi darkness. We both freeze as

<v Speaker 2>Jason shifts in his sleep, but only for a second.

<v Speaker 2>I need this and if Jason wakes up and sees,

<v Speaker 2>oh fucking well, I grab the beer can we've been

<v Speaker 2>playing with, holding it between my breast with one hand.

<v Speaker 2>I dare to fuck me, I purr, adding a card

<v Speaker 2>to the already thick stack under the tab of the can.

<v Speaker 2>Brian grabs my hips, starting to move faster again, thrusting

<v Speaker 2>deep into me. He pants as I hold up another card.

<v Speaker 2>I dare to pinch my nipples, give me a purple nurple.

<v Speaker 3>Pinge and twist.

<v Speaker 2>One hand moves from my hips to pull down one

<v Speaker 2>of the cups of my bra I mowan softly as

<v Speaker 2>his fingers find my sensitive nipple, squeezing it between them.

<v Speaker 2>I let my hips roll with his for a while.

<v Speaker 2>Savoring the sensations, building myself up to what I know

<v Speaker 2>will be an explosive finish. I hold up another card.

<v Speaker 2>I dare you to come inside me. I dare you

<v Speaker 2>to claim me, Brian. I dare you to make me yours.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, She's already like, what are we? I

<v Speaker 2>know He's like, oh fuck, damn it. Brian's eyes widened

<v Speaker 2>as I slide the cart in with all the others.

<v Speaker 2>This time, though, the seal breaks. I tossed the card aside,

<v Speaker 2>pouring beer into Brian's mouth as he fucks me faster

<v Speaker 2>than ever. I set the can down and kiss him,

<v Speaker 2>my tongue meeting his as we share the drink we've

<v Speaker 2>been teasing each other with all night. He grunts, his

<v Speaker 2>cock swells inside me. My back arches as my pussy

<v Speaker 2>clenches around him, my eyes losing focus, my brain melting

<v Speaker 2>as I feel the first spurts of his cum deep

<v Speaker 2>in my pussy. His mouth covers mind as I try

<v Speaker 2>to scream out my pleasure, muffling the noise so that

<v Speaker 2>we don't wake up the whole house. I'm shaking, I'm broken,

<v Speaker 2>I'm his. In the morning, we help clean up, hardly

<v Speaker 2>speaking to each other. Everyone seems to know anyway. When

<v Speaker 2>it's time to leave, he pulls me aside Danielle. His

<v Speaker 2>smile awakens something in me again. Yeah, how about the

<v Speaker 2>best two out of three? The end? My god, are

<v Speaker 2>you guys like a fish now?

<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

<v Speaker 2>You should be. You guys are very cutesy. Yeah. Well,

<v Speaker 2>we hope you enjoyed this episode.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, thanks for listening, Thanks for hanging