Speaker 1: Welcome to our slash smut, where we find the spiciest
Speaker 1: stories that Reddit has to offer and read it to you,
Speaker 1: horny little rats. It's time to r slash smut up
Speaker 1: and listen.
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Charlotte, It's Riley, and we're back with more
Speaker 2: reddita Radica, Hay sluts, Hey bag. And if you're listening
Speaker 2: to this on your normal podcasting platform, head on over
Speaker 2: to Patreon and hang out with us there. We do
Speaker 2: it every Tuesday.
Speaker 3: Yeah, every Tuesday, do it?
Speaker 2: Or your mom's a hoe. Yeah. And this first one
Speaker 2: comes from Best Respond sixty seven to twenty one, and
Speaker 2: it's called house Dad Part one and the tags are
Speaker 2: male forties, female thirties, female twenties, age gap, rough, oral,
Speaker 2: unprotected sex. It honestly never occurred to me. I was
Speaker 2: looking for a place to live that was closer to
Speaker 2: my partner and found a great two bedroom only a
Speaker 2: few blocks away. It wasn't until I moved in that
Speaker 2: I realized I was basically moving into student housing for
Speaker 2: the local university. Four units in the Brownstone, and I
Speaker 2: was the only one living alone. The rest of the
Speaker 2: units were students living the apartments together. My status's house
Speaker 2: Dad was set in Stone from the beginning. At first,
Speaker 2: I was worried that it would be too loud. After all,
Speaker 2: I was nearly fifty and assumed that the kids would
Speaker 2: be having crazy parties all night every night. Turns out
Speaker 2: I was wrong about that too. All of my new
Speaker 2: neighbors were pretty quiet, and frankly, I was usually the
Speaker 2: one up later making noise. In addition to the music
Speaker 2: that was usually playing while I was home, I was
Speaker 2: far more likely to have guests over than they were.
Speaker 2: Oh what a bunch of nerds. Yeah, what are they doing?
Speaker 2: Where are the friends? They're youth studying.
Speaker 3: I mean, I already know that this guy is gonna
Speaker 3: fuck the kids. He's calling him kids and now he's
Speaker 3: going to fuck him.
Speaker 2: That's free.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: I had been dating my partner Kate for nearly two
Speaker 2: years when I moved in, and we had been non
Speaker 2: monogab the whole time. She would be over a couple
Speaker 2: nights per week, and I would usually have a date
Speaker 2: or two outside of that. Together, we hung out with
Speaker 2: singles and other couples, so I have to admit that
Speaker 2: it was probably a little confusing for my neighbors trying
Speaker 2: to keep up with the comings and goings in my place?
Speaker 2: How does this relatively normal older guy get all of
Speaker 2: these women to sleep with him. I'm only five eight,
Speaker 2: and while I'm in pretty good shape, I'm certainly not ripped.
Speaker 2: Oh he's a short king.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I feel like women really love just average looking dudes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like there's nothing like an ugly hot man.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Like I feel like most women aren't like, oh
Speaker 3: I want a hot Maybe I'm wrong, but like I
Speaker 3: feel like most women aren't like, oh I need a
Speaker 3: really hot, ripped, fucking tall man.
Speaker 2: No, just an average joe. Just a dude, Yeah, just
Speaker 2: a dude. Am I wrong? I don't think so. I know.
Speaker 2: I'm not hell. I even have a normal cock six inches,
Speaker 2: nothing crazy, but it works. None of my neighbors complained, though,
Speaker 2: so either they couldn't hear what was happening in my
Speaker 2: place or they just didn't care. I settled into a
Speaker 2: normal routine and slowly got to know everyone else in
Speaker 2: the building. There were the twins across the hall, Kimmy
Speaker 2: and Kylie. They were in their last year of college
Speaker 2: and both were athletes, one of them a soccer player
Speaker 2: and the other across country runner. One of the units
Speaker 2: downstairs was occupied by Lauren and Maria. They fully embodied
Speaker 2: the stereotype of the English lit majors that they were.
Speaker 2: Sydney and Sarah lived in the fourth unit. All I
Speaker 2: knew about them was that they smoked a lot of pot.
Speaker 2: Somehow I had stumbled into living right next to six
Speaker 2: attractive young women. All in all, it was a good
Speaker 2: place to live. Yeah, your life sounds sweet, dude, Yeah
Speaker 2: it does.
Speaker 3: He sounds like he's literally just like having the best
Speaker 3: time of his life and is like midlife.
Speaker 2: Yeah, good for him. A few months after moving in,
Speaker 2: I was having a fairly normal week. Kate had come
Speaker 2: over on Monday night and we had incredible sex, connecting
Speaker 2: for the first time in a couple days. Two nights later,
Speaker 2: one of my friends with benefits, Ali came over. She
Speaker 2: was younger, only thirty, and we had great chemistry. She
Speaker 2: was tall and strong five ten, with powerful legs and
Speaker 2: an incredible ass. She had a thing for older men
Speaker 2: and loved nothing more than serving me When she came over.
Speaker 2: Our night was fairly routine, at least for us. The
Speaker 2: moment she entered my place, she dropped to her knees
Speaker 2: and took my cock out. I took hold of her long, dark,
Speaker 2: wavy hair. She started to lick from my balls to
Speaker 2: the head of my cock. I've been craving your cock, daddy,
Speaker 2: she heard. Please use me like a little slut. Oh.
Speaker 2: I fucked her mouth in the entryway before carrying her
Speaker 2: back to my bedroom. I told her she needed to
Speaker 2: earn my cock by coming like a good girl for me.
Speaker 2: I made her come repeatedly with my tongue and hands
Speaker 2: and a wand soon she was incapable of forming words,
Speaker 2: simply moaning and babbling her way through her last two orgasms.
Speaker 2: Good girl, I could as she came down from the
Speaker 2: assault on her senses. Now, I'm gonna use you like
Speaker 2: a little fuck toy. All right, go short king. I
Speaker 2: knelt between her legs and slid inside her slick pussy
Speaker 2: with one punishing thrust. I was past the point of nuance,
Speaker 2: fucking her hard with long, deep strokes. She was laying
Speaker 2: back with her eyes closed, and to get her attention,
Speaker 2: I grabbed a fist full of her hair and pulled
Speaker 2: her head toward me. Look at me when I'm fucking you.
Speaker 2: I y yes, daddy, she said, eyes wide and staring
Speaker 2: at me. I'm so sorry, daddy, I continued fucking her
Speaker 2: with steady strokes and consents that she was close to
Speaker 2: coming again. Don't you dare fucking come without asking me?
Speaker 2: I won't, Daddy, I promise. Can I please come? Daddy?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, calm down. That's a lot of daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
Speaker 2: I put my hand on her throat and looked into
Speaker 2: her eyes. Yes, allie, you can come. She moaned and
Speaker 2: grunted and squeezed my cock as her orgasm overtook her.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Daddy, she said, tears filling her eyes. That
Speaker 2: did it get on your knees? I groaned. I'm gonna
Speaker 2: fucking come. She dropped to her knees while I stroked
Speaker 2: my cock inches from her face. Yes, Staddy, cover me
Speaker 2: with your fucking cum. Yes, studdy beautiful rope after rope
Speaker 2: of cum shot out of my cock, covering her chest
Speaker 2: and face. Completely spent, I laid back down on the bed.
Speaker 2: She cleaned my cock with her tongue and then went
Speaker 2: to the bathroom to clean up. She came back into
Speaker 2: the bedroom and I wrapped her in my arms. We
Speaker 2: talked and snuggled for a bit until it was time
Speaker 2: for her to go. I put on a pair of
Speaker 2: shorts in a tank, and we walked out into the hallway.
Speaker 2: I thought I overheard someone stirring in the apartment across
Speaker 2: the hall, but I couldn't tell. Thought of Kylie or
Speaker 2: kimmey overhearing me cause my cock to jump, But I
Speaker 2: put the thought out of my mind and walked Alley
Speaker 2: to her car, wishing her a good night. The end. Wow, Okay,
Speaker 2: the college girls had little to nothing to do with
Speaker 2: this story. But yeah, I thought he was gonna fuck
Speaker 2: them all. He fucked exactly none of them, which is
Speaker 2: probably a good thing.
Speaker 3: This next one comes from our Jr. Wrights and the
Speaker 3: title slash tags I think are male male armpit stink romance. Fine,
Speaker 3: I love an armpit?
Speaker 2: You do you do?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: You're an armpit girly.
Speaker 3: Zach watched his best friend from his slightly cracked door
Speaker 3: as he was relieving the built up pressure in his balls.
Speaker 3: Jeff was so eager to come that his mind didn't
Speaker 3: even care that his door was a jar. Weeks of
Speaker 3: pent up sexual urges were too strong to contain. Is
Speaker 3: he looking at men licking each other's armpits? Zack squinted,
Speaker 3: He indeed was Jeff sniffed his own before speeding up
Speaker 3: the fapping. Zach took a deep breath and walked into
Speaker 3: Jeff's room. Okay, buddy, enough is enough? Is this why some.
Speaker 2: Of my gym T shirts have gone missing? Do you
Speaker 2: sniff them? Zach questioned.
Speaker 3: Jeff was frantically trying to contain his cock back inside
Speaker 3: his underwear, but he knew it was too late. I
Speaker 3: can explain Jeff was shaking. Dude, There's no need to
Speaker 3: worry a man. I mean, sure, it's weird, but we're bros.
Speaker 3: If you want a pit to lick, I can help
Speaker 3: a brother out.
Speaker 2: Oh what a friend. That is a friend, Zach smiled.
Speaker 3: As Jeff's eyes grew wide, Zach lifted his armpit and
Speaker 3: leaned to the side to stick it right into Jeff's face.
Speaker 3: Go on, buddy, jerk one out, give it a sniff.
Speaker 3: Bro Zach's pitt was ripe. After a full day of
Speaker 3: working out. He forgot to shower and knew he was
Speaker 3: pretty smelly. He was doing laundry, so he didn't want
Speaker 3: to get sweaty again in the hot laundry room outside
Speaker 3: his apartment. Luckily, he found a great use for his
Speaker 3: stink in his best buddy and roommate, Jeff. Jeff moaned
Speaker 3: with every inhale of Zach's hot, garbage smelling pit. His
Speaker 3: strokes became easier as cock grew harder in his fist.
Speaker 3: As he continued to inhale, the feeling grew too intense.
Speaker 3: He started spraying wad after wad of come onto the bed.
Speaker 3: It wad. That's disgusting.
Speaker 2: Wod I hate that grows?
Speaker 3: Keep going, buddy, I bet it's still stinky as fuck.
Speaker 3: Zach's pit sweat started combining with the sweat on Jeff's
Speaker 3: face as it dripped down into Jeff's mouth.
Speaker 2: Just sweat in your mouth, disgusting. That is disgusting.
Speaker 3: Jeff tasted his roommate's funk with every swallow of his sweat. Moaning,
Speaker 3: Jeff submissively agreed to keep stroking. His balls were still
Speaker 3: loaded with so much come that he never wanted to stop. See, bro,
Speaker 3: what are bros for? You didn't even have to hide
Speaker 3: this from me. I will share as much bro stink
Speaker 3: with you as you can handle, Zach teased. Jeff was
Speaker 3: so close to his second release, still whimpering in his
Speaker 3: best friend's pit. Cute Kitsie, and somebody called and said,
Speaker 3: I think this deserves a new category called wholesomely hot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're just true blue friends, super hot, so hot
Speaker 2: armpits don't make me horny. I just love to smell
Speaker 2: my husband's armpits.
Speaker 3: The stick here your own husbands.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair. And this next one comes from Anastasia
Speaker 2: x Rose and it's called hooked up with my hot
Speaker 2: neighbor during a power outage and it turned into the
Speaker 2: wildest night and the tags are female nineteen, male, twenty four, comeshot, hardcore,
Speaker 2: neighbor sex, neighbor sex. Okay, so this happened a couple
Speaker 2: nights ago and I'm still sore from it, but in
Speaker 2: the best way. Lol. I'm nineteen, living in this crappy
Speaker 2: apartment building while going to community college, and there's this
Speaker 2: hot guy next door who's twenty four. I think works
Speaker 2: as a mechanic or something because he's always got grease
Speaker 2: on his hands, but damn does he fill out his shirt.
Speaker 2: We flirted a bit in the hallway, like he'd help
Speaker 2: me with groceries, and I'd catch him staring at my
Speaker 2: ass and my yoga pants. Never thought it would go
Speaker 2: anywhere though, because he's a and seems like a player.
Speaker 2: Well he's twenty four, he's not like that much older.
Speaker 3: No, I mean, if he's a player, yeah, he's gonna
Speaker 3: try and fuck you your.
Speaker 2: Brain, stupid girl. Anyway, there was this huge storm and
Speaker 2: the power went out around eight pm. The whole building
Speaker 2: dark as fuck. I was bored scrolling my phone till
Speaker 2: the battery died. No lights, no, I see, just humid
Speaker 2: and sticky. I heard a knock and it was him
Speaker 2: holding a flashlight and some beers saying, want to hang beats?
Speaker 2: Sitting alone in the dark, I let him in. We
Speaker 2: sat on my couch chatting about dumb stuff, getting tipsy.
Speaker 2: The heat made us both sweat and my tank top
Speaker 2: clinging to my tits, and I could see the outline
Speaker 2: of his dick through his shorts getting harder as we
Speaker 2: talked dirty jokes. What kind of dirty jokes are making
Speaker 2: your dick hard?
Speaker 3: Yeah? What kind of dirty jokes are you telling? Just
Speaker 3: between the two of you, like knock knock?
Speaker 2: Who's that my pussy y ah think's here too? Things
Speaker 2: escalated quick. When he dared me to take off my
Speaker 2: top to cool down. I laughed, but did it? My
Speaker 2: bro barely holding my boobs, nipples hard from the thrill.
Speaker 2: He dared hungry, then pulled me into his lap for
Speaker 2: a kiss. His lips were rough, ew use some chapstick,
Speaker 2: some dry ass lips, tongue invading my mouth while his
Speaker 2: hands groped my ass, squeezing hard. I grinded against his bold,
Speaker 2: feeling how thick it was, my pussy getting wet through
Speaker 2: my panties. You're such a tease, he growled, unhooking my
Speaker 2: bra and sucking on my tits, biting my nipples till
Speaker 2: I yelped in pleasure. His teeth sent shocked straight to
Speaker 2: my clit. I was dripping already. He flipped me onto
Speaker 2: the couch. He yanked off my shorts and panties in
Speaker 2: one go, spreading my legs wide. Look at that pretty pussy,
Speaker 2: all wet for me, he said, diving in with his tongue.
Speaker 2: He licked my slit slow at first, tasting my juices,
Speaker 2: then sucked my clit hard while fingering me deep with
Speaker 2: two fingers, curling them to hit my g spot. I
Speaker 2: was moaning loud, grabbing his hair, my hips bucking as
Speaker 2: he ate me out like he was starving. Fuck your
Speaker 2: tongue feels so good. I gasped, coming hard all over
Speaker 2: his face, my pussy pulsing and squirting a bit onto
Speaker 2: his chin. He lapped it up, smirking like he'd want
Speaker 2: a prize. Get those dry ass lips off my pussy
Speaker 2: first of all.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would be so gross out.
Speaker 2: Yeah I don't like a cracked dry lip. No thank you, no,
Speaker 2: no break though. He stood up and dropped his shorts,
Speaker 2: his dick springing out huge, probably eight inches, veiny and
Speaker 2: throbbing with precum beating at the tip. Suck it, baby,
Speaker 2: he ordered, and I got on my knees eager. I
Speaker 2: licked the head, tasting salty precum, then took him into
Speaker 2: my mouth, bobbing deep until he hit my throat. He
Speaker 2: grabbed my head, fucking my face, gentle at first, then harder,
Speaker 2: calling me a good little cocksucker. My saliva dripped down
Speaker 2: his balls. I fondled them while gagging on his dick,
Speaker 2: tears in my eyes, but loving it. He pulled out
Speaker 2: before coming, not wanting to finish yet. He bent me
Speaker 2: over the arm of the couch, ass up and rubbed
Speaker 2: his dick against my pussy lips, teasing beg for it,
Speaker 2: he said, Please fuck my pussy. I need your dick,
Speaker 2: I whined. He slammed in all at once, stretching me wide,
Speaker 2: filling every inch. It hurt good, his cock pounding deep balls,
Speaker 2: slapping my clit with each thrust. Your pussy's so tight
Speaker 2: and creamy, he grunted, you know, creamy. I hate the
Speaker 2: word creamy when it comes to a pussy. Yeah, spanking
Speaker 2: my ass red while railing me doggy style. I reached
Speaker 2: back to rub my clip, coming again quick, my walls
Speaker 2: clenching around him. Juice is running down my thighs. He
Speaker 2: wasn't done, pulled out and sat on the couch, pulling
Speaker 2: me to straddle him. I lowered onto his dick, riding
Speaker 2: him slow at first my tit's bouncing in his face
Speaker 2: as he sucked them, then faster, grinding my clit against
Speaker 2: his pubes, his hands on my ass, guiding me ride
Speaker 2: that dick like a slut, he said, thrusting up to
Speaker 2: meet me. Sweat poured off of us, the rooms smelling
Speaker 2: like sex. I came once more, screaming my pussy, milking him.
Speaker 2: For the finale, He stood me up, pinned me up
Speaker 2: against the wall, lifting one leg to fuck me standing.
Speaker 2: His dick hit even deeper, pounding my cervix, making me
Speaker 2: see stars. Gonna come in your pussy, he warned, and
Speaker 2: I begged him too. He groaned loud, shooting hot loads
Speaker 2: of cumb deep inside me, filling me up till it
Speaker 2: leaked around his cock. I felt it dripped down my
Speaker 2: legs as he pulled out, both of us, panting, Okay,
Speaker 2: this man is a stranger. He comes home dirty with
Speaker 2: his dry assed lips. You just let him come in, you,
Speaker 2: you just raw dogged it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, these girls are never afraid of STDs or anything
Speaker 3: like that, of the sort.
Speaker 2: One of the comments says, oh, fuck, maybe I can
Speaker 2: be his free use comeslut now. I wouldn't say no,
Speaker 2: even if he brought some of his friends to take
Speaker 2: advantage of me. What do you mean, you guys?
Speaker 3: It's all fun, you know, fun, Yes, book talk, book world, yes,
Speaker 3: real life, be safe?
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Yeah, and her phone's dead, the power's out.
Speaker 2: What if something bad happened? What if he literally just
Speaker 2: killed her? We're such old ladies, I know.
Speaker 3: I think about that sometimes when we're like doing our
Speaker 3: books during you know, when we're recording our book reviews
Speaker 3: or whatever not book reviews.
Speaker 2: But you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: Sometimes when I'm responding to like some of the things
Speaker 3: they're doing, I'm like, God, you are such an old
Speaker 3: vanilla ass bitch.
Speaker 2: I don't like, be safe, think of your future. I
Speaker 2: think of your health, respect yourself just and like people
Speaker 2: don't trust everyone, men, especially God. Yeah, God men. I
Speaker 2: know a lot of these women are just too trusting,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 3: And this next one comes from gran NEWI DA.
Speaker 2: So how you'd say it, I don't know.
Speaker 3: And the title is I Mail twenty eight. Worked as
Speaker 3: a security guard at a retirement home. Those horny old
Speaker 3: ladies passed me around like a doobie all summer long.
Speaker 2: I searched old ladies or old did you Yeah?
Speaker 3: Whenever I told someone I worked security at a retirement facility,
Speaker 3: I would always be asked the same flurry of tired questions.
Speaker 3: These inquirers, in all their innocent curiosity, tended to focus
Speaker 3: on the questions of death, that sulfurous, looming cloud that
Speaker 3: hovered through every hallway, every room, every denture, stricken bowl
Speaker 3: of half eaten apple sauce. Did you ever see a corpse?
Speaker 2: They asked? Did you ever help cart the bodies?
Speaker 3: Out, or the most pressing question, do people really shit
Speaker 3: themselves when they die?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're gonna shit yourself when you die. Yeah, everyone does.
Speaker 2: It's normal. That's why right before I die, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: run and go shit toilet really fast so you don't
Speaker 2: defecate once you're done. Yes, go out with dignity. You
Speaker 2: know what my thing is.
Speaker 3: I'm like, everyone shits, literally, fucking everyone shits, So like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I shit.
Speaker 2: I don't know what to tell you. Sometimes I'll just
Speaker 2: be thinking to myself in my head and I'll be like,
Speaker 2: Ryan Gosling shits. He sits down on his toilet and
Speaker 2: he has a big, fat, nasty shit. Sometimes I literally
Speaker 2: think about the Kardashians. I'm like Kim Kardashian, she's shits,
Speaker 2: Kimi Shuenner, she shits. They all shit.
Speaker 3: So I don't know why we're made to feel bad
Speaker 3: about our shits, okay, because we all do it.
Speaker 2: We all shit.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, now that I'm off my soap bogs. When asked,
Speaker 3: I could only nod affirmatively with a solemn blank stare.
Speaker 3: For even Mother Mary had to cover her virginal button
Speaker 3: nose with a nearby roman sleeve to mask the wafting
Speaker 3: scent of forgiven sin running down the legs of her
Speaker 3: only begotten son.
Speaker 2: Wow. Deep, Yeah, what the fuck was that?
Speaker 3: But there was another question that was us most often
Speaker 3: during adult house parties in the late twenty tens, when
Speaker 3: the comparative lack of world affairs meant that conversation often
Speaker 3: slid into the fruitless ravines of internet gossip and trivia.
Speaker 3: And this answer I will give to you now. Yes,
Speaker 3: old people be fucking yeah they do.
Speaker 2: Have you heard about like all of the std outbreaks
Speaker 2: in retirement homes because old people just be fucking No.
Speaker 2: That kind of grosses me out. And old people have
Speaker 2: fucked more than us, which is insane to think about.
Speaker 2: I feel like, no, no, there's no way. Yeah, they've
Speaker 2: had an entire lifetime of fucking. They probably did anal orgies,
Speaker 2: three sums, voyeurism, pony play. They probably don't seed some
Speaker 2: show of things mm hm. So if you need sex advice,
Speaker 2: to ask an old person.
Speaker 3: The first time I heard of one of these wrinkled
Speaker 3: affairs was around Christmas twenty eighteen. It was only my
Speaker 3: second week on the job when the weary eyed staff
Speaker 3: had brought up to me in conversation that something had
Speaker 3: been in the water, so to speak. They alleged that
Speaker 3: there had been a large uptick in sexual activity among
Speaker 3: the residents since the early autumn, when a particularly rebellious
Speaker 3: older gentleman convinced his grandson to sneak in a collection
Speaker 3: of modern porno DVDs. When the nurses finally caught a
Speaker 3: group in the act watching the tapes, they at first
Speaker 3: found it quite hilarious and innocent. This all changed, however,
Speaker 3: when a woman was caught giving a wheelchair lap dance
Speaker 3: to a paralyzed man in plain view the next morning
Speaker 3: during breakfast. Oh my god, Gladys get down. Later that week,
Speaker 3: another couple was caught heels up in the communal exercise room.
Speaker 3: A verico veined mania of group sex under the table,
Speaker 3: handies and bathroom blowies had spread throughout the quaint understaffed
Speaker 3: Minnesotan nursing home's elderly population, and the staff was clueless
Speaker 3: on how to combat it.
Speaker 2: Just let them fuck.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're adults. A strict curfew of nine PM was
Speaker 3: quickly instated, with the most trusted and pious residence being
Speaker 3: conscripted to wheel around the hallways at all hours of
Speaker 3: the night to stop any late night booty calls until
Speaker 3: they too were caught taking part in these late night orgies.
Speaker 2: Ew.
Speaker 3: This all came to a head when an older gentleman
Speaker 3: nearly got in a brawl with his son in the
Speaker 3: lobby during the annual Halloween luncheon. The frustrated elder, who
Speaker 3: was stricken with a grocery list of heart conditions, threatened
Speaker 3: his son that he would be writing him out of
Speaker 3: his will until he agreed to sneak in a six
Speaker 3: month supply of Chinese made viagra for him. The two
Speaker 3: parties had to be separated by the nurses and an
Speaker 3: off duty cop who happened to be visiting his mother,
Speaker 3: with the older man being wheeled back to his room
Speaker 3: in an improvised straight jacket made of electrical tape.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, just let them fuck. Let them go
Speaker 2: out doing what they love to do.
Speaker 3: I don't understand why they're not allowed to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so nobody's getting knocked up if they get
Speaker 2: an STD they're all going to die in a year
Speaker 2: or two anyway.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so maya as wild jeopardize their health now?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Fuck?
Speaker 2: Who cares? Yeah?
Speaker 3: The management decided at that point to contact the mayoral
Speaker 3: office of the City of Saint Paul. After long deliberation,
Speaker 3: it was proposed that on the weekend following Thanksgiving, the
Speaker 3: male population would be moved to a different facility across
Speaker 3: the river in Minneapolis, and the nursing home would become
Speaker 3: a female only residence until the current population of Heathens
Speaker 3: died out. This transfer was done gracefully, though in early December,
Speaker 3: a week before I arrived, one gentleman nearly died of
Speaker 3: hypothermia trying to wheelchair across I ninety four back to
Speaker 3: the facility in the middle of the night during a
Speaker 3: near blizzard, screaming at the pursuing sheriff's deputies that he
Speaker 3: didn't see all his friends die in Korea, just not
Speaker 3: get his balls. Wet okay, okay, sir. I had just
Speaker 3: turned twenty eight when I started the job during the
Speaker 3: aftermath of that debaucherous autumn. I had worked in security
Speaker 3: in many different settings by that point, including multiple medical facilities,
Speaker 3: but I had never seen a staff so clearly disheveled
Speaker 3: and traumatized. They were all relatively kind and welcoming to me,
Speaker 3: but they all had a glised an empty stare and
Speaker 3: eerie emptiness about them, especially around the residence. During lunch
Speaker 3: one day, as I was chewing on a ham sandwich,
Speaker 3: I asked a nurse I had grown quite fond of
Speaker 3: if anything out of the ordinary had happened before I came.
Speaker 3: She was a friendly burnette in her late fifties who
Speaker 3: had aged quite gracefully and claimed to have been a
Speaker 3: schoolteacher in her past life. As I asked the question,
Speaker 3: her amiable demeanor changed as she quickly stood up from
Speaker 3: the table, walked to the coffee pot, poured a cup,
Speaker 3: and explained the chronology of events.
Speaker 2: As she slowly stirred, she spoke of the daily.
Speaker 3: Incidents she'd walk into, how she still sometimes saw them
Speaker 3: in her dreams. After several vivid stories, I had lost
Speaker 3: my appetite and put down my sandwich. I watched her
Speaker 3: as she looked thoughtfully out the window at the hideous
Speaker 3: put putt green rugs lining the lobby floor, not knowing
Speaker 3: if I should break out in laughter from the hilarity
Speaker 3: of the situation or feel sorry for the poor woman
Speaker 3: people with nothing but time, no time left, and too
Speaker 3: much time to make up for. She said softly, it's
Speaker 3: a recipe for disaster. At least they didn't have to
Speaker 3: worry about condoms, I joked, it would elevate the mood
Speaker 3: and knock her out of her chance of a shell shock.
Speaker 3: They should have, she snapped back at me with a sharp,
Speaker 3: dreadful seriousness I had only seen before at funerals in
Speaker 3: court proceedings. They all tested positive for gonorrhea, every single
Speaker 3: one of them save for one. A silence filled the
Speaker 3: office as she recomposed herself from the outburst and turned
Speaker 3: solemnly back to her coffee. It was like teaching the
Speaker 3: ninth grade all over again, she muttered softly as she
Speaker 3: looked back out across the lobby, with tears in her eyes,
Speaker 3: but with diapers ow. So there, I was a spry, tall,
Speaker 3: muscular security man in the prime of his life, sent
Speaker 3: like a lamb into a wild den of expiring and
Speaker 3: frustrated female libido.
Speaker 2: If I knew then what I know now.
Speaker 3: I would have never stepped foot into that frigid colostomy
Speaker 3: bag swamp of horrors. I would have instead stayed in
Speaker 3: my beloved Tampa Oh you traffic jams, silicone land of
Speaker 3: botched areolas and unscreened melanomas.
Speaker 2: Never change to be continued. He didn't get passed around?
Speaker 3: Yeah he didn't. I wanted to hear about him get
Speaker 3: past between old ladies.
Speaker 2: And this next one comes from Striking Economists seven five
Speaker 2: three and it's called I'm not stopping until you do.
Speaker 2: How a simple game of Chicken completely changed my life?
Speaker 2: And the tags are female twenty two, Male twenty two,
Speaker 2: Dare September contest, hand job, writing, cream pie, risky sex,
Speaker 2: public crush. Hell yeah, it's late. The party's been over
Speaker 2: for a while, and at this point the only people
Speaker 2: left are the ones too drunk to drive home, all
Speaker 2: of them passed out now on various beds, couches, or floors.
Speaker 2: All of them except Brian and me. All right, your turn.
Speaker 2: His voice is hoarse from the party in the late hour.
Speaker 2: It has to be close to two am by now.
Speaker 2: Sure you don't want to quit, I'm not stopping till
Speaker 2: you do. I shrug, placing my card under the tab
Speaker 2: of the beer can we've been using as our game board.
Speaker 2: Brian groans as nothing happens, and I pump my fist
Speaker 2: in victory. The rules of the game are simple. You
Speaker 2: place a card under the tab of the can. If
Speaker 2: the can pops open, you chug the beer. If it doesn't,
Speaker 2: you get to dare the other person to do something.
Speaker 2: If they do, it's their turn. If they don't, they
Speaker 2: have to put two cards in before they can dare you. Oh,
Speaker 2: the can we're using has about ten cards in it.
Speaker 2: Already A stack of empty sits to my right, fallen soldiers.
Speaker 2: In the now hours long game of semi drunken Chicken,
Speaker 2: Brian and I have been playing. At first, there had
Speaker 2: been ten of us, and the dares had been tame
Speaker 2: every sentence like it's a question. Try to touch your
Speaker 2: tongue to your nose, take a shot. That last one
Speaker 2: is largely responsible for the sprawled out forms all over
Speaker 2: the house. Now fuck, Brian mutters, all right, what is
Speaker 2: it this time? I put a hand over my mouth,
Speaker 2: stifling a yawn. We got to wrap this up before
Speaker 2: I fall asleep in my chair. Time to start bringing
Speaker 2: out the big guns. I dare you to take your
Speaker 2: pants off. Brian snorts a laugh, but when I don't join,
Speaker 2: his mouth falls open a little. Wait, you're serious, uh huh?
Speaker 2: Take him off or put another card in. But it
Speaker 2: looks like we're getting close to the end, so choose wisely.
Speaker 2: He runs his fingers through his dark brown hair, making
Speaker 2: it stick up at odd ends, infuriatingly. It somehow makes
Speaker 2: him even cuter. Brian is still playing because he's competitive
Speaker 2: and hates to lose. I'm still playing because Brian is hot,
Speaker 2: and this party is the most I've ever spoken to him.
Speaker 2: At once, I'd meant my dare as a joke, really,
Speaker 2: But as he stands up, glancing around nervously at Casey
Speaker 2: passed out on the couch mere feet away, and Jason
Speaker 2: slumped in the recliner just beyond her, Suddenly I'm wide
Speaker 2: awake again. You're an ass, Danielle. You know that right.
Speaker 2: His voice is pitched low so as not to carry
Speaker 2: but I hear every word don't chicken out on me now.
Speaker 2: His hands go to his belt as he scowls at me.
Speaker 2: My breath catches as he shimmis out of his pants.
Speaker 2: His boxer shorts are dark fabric, but even so I
Speaker 2: can see the distinct bulge in them, a bulge that's
Speaker 2: much bigger than i'd imagined. I glanced away, try not
Speaker 2: to make it obvious how much I'd enjoyed the show
Speaker 2: from the way my cheeks are reddening through. I think
Speaker 2: he must have picked up on it, because when he
Speaker 2: sits down again, he gives me a cocky grin like
Speaker 2: what you see. Shut up? He raises a brow at me,
Speaker 2: his smirk unrelenting. Shall I place a card now? You
Speaker 2: could just give up? Nah? I don't think so. I
Speaker 2: bite my lip as he carefully slides the card under
Speaker 2: the tab, hoping to hear the telltale hiss of a
Speaker 2: can cracking open. When silence is all there is, though,
Speaker 2: it's Brian's turn to clench his fist in triumph. Ugh fine,
Speaker 2: I grumble. What's the take your top off? He said,
Speaker 2: without hesitation, his blue eyes boring into me, his smirk
Speaker 2: returning in full force. My mouth drops open. In my
Speaker 2: tipsy state, I'd assume that Brian would quit before taking
Speaker 2: his pants off. I'd never stop to consider what might
Speaker 2: happen if he didn't, unless you want to forfeit. His
Speaker 2: eyes narrow slightly in an unspoken challenge. The look he
Speaker 2: gives and he makes the hairs on my arms stand
Speaker 2: up and my stomach does a summersault as he gazes
Speaker 2: at me with undisguised interest. Holy shit, this is happening Danielle,
Speaker 2: he prompts playfully. Earth to Danielle, are you in there?
Speaker 2: I clamp my jaws shut. You think you're funny, don't you.
Speaker 2: I think you're stalling. I grit my teeth because he's right,
Speaker 2: but I don't want to give up either. His face
Speaker 2: lights up. As my hands go to the hem of
Speaker 2: my tank top. My heart flutters. This is the closest
Speaker 2: we've ever been. My top joins his jeans on the floor.
Speaker 2: Damn it, he says jokingly. I should have mentioned the
Speaker 2: bra too. He wants you, girl, Yeah, he does. This
Speaker 2: is good. I know what The view isn't good enough
Speaker 2: for you already this time, when his eyes meet mine,
Speaker 2: I consider the possibility that I might legitimately melt. He's
Speaker 2: smoldering that. No, the view is very good, he whispers, huskily.
Speaker 2: I know he must see how my nipples harden under
Speaker 2: the thin fabric of my bra at the heat in
Speaker 2: his voice. Now, are you going to place a card?
Speaker 2: There's an eagerness in his voice that matches the way
Speaker 2: my skin tingles with anticipation. My hand shakes a little
Speaker 2: as I slide the next card in, praying with all
Speaker 2: my might that it doesn't crack the can. The seal holds.
Speaker 2: Brian looks up at me expectantly. Both of us know
Speaker 2: this is more than just a game. Now, I dare
Speaker 2: you to kiss me. Oh my god. The words are
Speaker 2: out of my mouth before I even consider them, but
Speaker 2: Brian doesn't hesitate. He leans forward, crossing the distance between us,
Speaker 2: and seconds his mouth hovers over mine, his breath smelling
Speaker 2: of mint and beer. Like this, he murmurs, and then
Speaker 2: our mouths meat. I forget the world around us for
Speaker 2: a bit as my brain short circuits, my entire body
Speaker 2: focused on the feel of his lips on mine. His
Speaker 2: hand moves behind my head, cupping my hair gently and
Speaker 2: pulling me to him. As our kiss deepens, I want more.
Speaker 2: I need to feel his lips on all of me.
Speaker 2: We jump apart as Casey makes his noise in her sleep,
Speaker 2: turning restlessly on the couch. For a moment, we just
Speaker 2: stare at each other, like tags getting caught doing something
Speaker 2: we weren't supposed to be. And then Brian starts to laugh, silently,
Speaker 2: shaking mer inches away from me. I laugh too, covering
Speaker 2: my mouth to keep the giggles from spilling out. Your turn,
Speaker 2: I whispered to him. As soon as I have myself
Speaker 2: under control, he nods, his eyes catching mine as he
Speaker 2: holds up a card. The tension between us snaps back
Speaker 2: into place like a steel cord, and I watched with
Speaker 2: bated breath as he slides the card into the stack.
Speaker 2: I'm not hoping he loses anymore. Brian lets out a
Speaker 2: sigh of relief as the can hold steady. I dare
Speaker 2: you to come sit on my lap. I'd been expecting it,
Speaker 2: but even so, hearing the word sends a thrill through me. Really, really,
Speaker 2: unless you want to stop, I'm not stopping until you do,
Speaker 2: I say, defiantly, throwing his words back at him. He
Speaker 2: smiles at me, clearly delighted with our new game. I stand,
Speaker 2: brushing my skirt as I turned to face him. And
Speaker 2: if I wiggle my ass a little in his face,
Speaker 2: it's only because I saw a spot of dirt on
Speaker 2: the hem of the fabric that I had to brush off.
Speaker 2: That's all like this, I murmur in his ears. I
Speaker 2: hook an arm around his neck, pressing his lips against
Speaker 2: my cheek. I can feel his bold through the fabric
Speaker 2: of my skirt as I settle onto his lap. I
Speaker 2: swear I can feel it getting bit perfect. He whispers back,
Speaker 2: his voice a little breathier. Now your turn. I take
Speaker 2: one of the cards from his hand, making a show
Speaker 2: of leaning forward to put it under the tab. I
Speaker 2: feel him tense underneath me. Brian clearly doesn't want our
Speaker 2: little game to end either. The card slides in with
Speaker 2: all the others. We both let out a sigh of relief.
Speaker 2: I dare you to take your cock out, Danielle. Are
Speaker 2: you sure, I nod, nuzzling up against his ear, unless
Speaker 2: you're too chicken. Yeah, she's sure she's been wan this. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you'd think you'd learn by now, he mutters, as his
Speaker 2: hand reaches between his legs, tugging at the fabric of
Speaker 2: his boxers. I try to stop myself from trembling. Then
Speaker 2: I feel something warm pressed against my inner thigh, something
Speaker 2: warm and a little wet. My sighe clenches. I realize
Speaker 2: I'm feeling his pre comb touching me, only inches from
Speaker 2: the place where a fire is started to blaze deep
Speaker 2: in my core. I can't help myself. I have to
Speaker 2: touch it. My fingers find a shaft wrapping around his thickness.
Speaker 2: Brian's inhalation is loud in my ears as I start
Speaker 2: to tug on his growing erection, grinding my ass on him.
Speaker 2: Your turn, I tease him. He's hard in my hand now,
Speaker 2: his cock pulsing in time with his heart beat. He
Speaker 2: grounds a little as he sits up, grabbing a card
Speaker 2: from the pile. The fact that his hands are shaking
Speaker 2: now too, turns me on more than I can express.
Speaker 2: We both watch as the card joins its fellows. We
Speaker 2: both hold our breath, not wanting this to end quite yet.
Speaker 2: We both sag with relief as the tab, now angled
Speaker 2: quite aggressively upward by the stack of cards underneath it,
Speaker 2: manages to hold on a little longer. What's your dare,
Speaker 2: I whispered to him, already light with anticipation. You say,
Speaker 2: put it in you yoo fuck me. His hand caresses
Speaker 2: my thigh under my skirt, tugging the hem of it
Speaker 2: up half an inch at a time. I'm shocked he
Speaker 2: can't feel how wet I am for him already, I
Speaker 2: dare you, he says softly into my ear, his fingers
Speaker 2: still moving up to my leg, to put my cock
Speaker 2: inside you. There it is, yep, yep, yep, yep. The
Speaker 2: world stands still. I forget how to breathe. All I
Speaker 2: know is the touch of his hand on me and
Speaker 2: the feel of his cock between my fingers. Unless you're
Speaker 2: going to give up now, Brian says, slowly, as the
Speaker 2: rest of the world crashes back into existence. Unless you're
Speaker 2: gonna let me win, I bite my lip never. He
Speaker 2: growls approval as I shift on him, moving my hand
Speaker 2: from his cock to pull my panties to the side.
Speaker 2: My fingers come soaked. I turn so that I'm facing him.
Speaker 2: See what you did to me? Before he can say anything,
Speaker 2: I put the fingers covered in my arousal to his lips.
Speaker 2: His brows furrow in confusion until he realizes what he's tasting.
Speaker 2: As he licks my fingers clean, I lower myself onto him.
Speaker 2: He and I both mown as his cock parts my folds,
Speaker 2: stretching me until I'm so full I can hardly think.
Speaker 2: My body takes over, moving up and down on his
Speaker 2: shaft automatically. I feel him tensing underneath me, just as
Speaker 2: turned on as I am, just as close weait. He
Speaker 2: gasps desperately, Not yet, what's it's your turn? I slow
Speaker 2: my pace, a devious grin, spreading across my face. I
Speaker 2: guess it is huh, can't forget about the game?
Speaker 3: Yeah, they can't forget. I'd be like, Okay, we're fucking
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 2: What more do you want from me?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I twist around, grabbing a handful of cards and squeezing
Speaker 2: his cock with my pussy at the same time, making
Speaker 2: him groan. In the semi darkness. We both freeze as
Speaker 2: Jason shifts in his sleep, but only for a second.
Speaker 2: I need this and if Jason wakes up and sees,
Speaker 2: oh fucking well, I grab the beer can we've been
Speaker 2: playing with, holding it between my breast with one hand.
Speaker 2: I dare to fuck me, I purr, adding a card
Speaker 2: to the already thick stack under the tab of the can.
Speaker 2: Brian grabs my hips, starting to move faster again, thrusting
Speaker 2: deep into me. He pants as I hold up another card.
Speaker 2: I dare to pinch my nipples, give me a purple nurple.
Speaker 3: Pinge and twist.
Speaker 2: One hand moves from my hips to pull down one
Speaker 2: of the cups of my bra I mowan softly as
Speaker 2: his fingers find my sensitive nipple, squeezing it between them.
Speaker 2: I let my hips roll with his for a while.
Speaker 2: Savoring the sensations, building myself up to what I know
Speaker 2: will be an explosive finish. I hold up another card.
Speaker 2: I dare you to come inside me. I dare you
Speaker 2: to claim me, Brian. I dare you to make me yours.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, She's already like, what are we? I
Speaker 2: know He's like, oh fuck, damn it. Brian's eyes widened
Speaker 2: as I slide the cart in with all the others.
Speaker 2: This time, though, the seal breaks. I tossed the card aside,
Speaker 2: pouring beer into Brian's mouth as he fucks me faster
Speaker 2: than ever. I set the can down and kiss him,
Speaker 2: my tongue meeting his as we share the drink we've
Speaker 2: been teasing each other with all night. He grunts, his
Speaker 2: cock swells inside me. My back arches as my pussy
Speaker 2: clenches around him, my eyes losing focus, my brain melting
Speaker 2: as I feel the first spurts of his cum deep
Speaker 2: in my pussy. His mouth covers mind as I try
Speaker 2: to scream out my pleasure, muffling the noise so that
Speaker 2: we don't wake up the whole house. I'm shaking, I'm broken,
Speaker 2: I'm his. In the morning, we help clean up, hardly
Speaker 2: speaking to each other. Everyone seems to know anyway. When
Speaker 2: it's time to leave, he pulls me aside Danielle. His
Speaker 2: smile awakens something in me again. Yeah, how about the
Speaker 2: best two out of three? The end? My god, are
Speaker 2: you guys like a fish now?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: You should be. You guys are very cutesy. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 2: we hope you enjoyed this episode.
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for listening, Thanks for hanging