<v Speaker 1>Welcome back, you horny little rats.

<v Speaker 2>It's time to smut up and listen.

<v Speaker 1>Just a reminder for today's episode and all future episodes,

<v Speaker 1>our opinions are subjective. We don't advocate for kink shaming

<v Speaker 1>or author shaming. This is all in good smutty fun.

<v Speaker 1>Enjoy and don't forget to check out patreon dot com

<v Speaker 1>slash smut Up and listen to listen to the r

<v Speaker 1>slash smut podcast, where Riley and I will be doing

<v Speaker 1>blind reactions every Tuesday to Reddit eratica.

<v Speaker 3>Today's episode trigger warning is explicit sexual content.

<v Speaker 4>And I have a Apple review and this one comes

<v Speaker 4>from Jewles zero eight two three and it says, this

<v Speaker 4>little rat is obsessed, recently discovered this pod and can't

<v Speaker 4>stop cackling and squealing while listening to these girlies.

<v Speaker 5>A true gem. You're a true gem.

<v Speaker 1>Thank you, thank you. And this week we're telling Riley

<v Speaker 1>all about Romanced by the Rat by GM Faery and

<v Speaker 1>how many stars did you guys give it on good Reads?

<v Speaker 1>I gave it a four. Oh my god, I liked it. Listen.

<v Speaker 6>It was very entertaining and I love GM Fairy. I

<v Speaker 6>should have known where it was going. I just don't

<v Speaker 6>think I was expecting it.

<v Speaker 2>It was wonderful though.

<v Speaker 1>Okay, I gave this a three and a half, and

<v Speaker 1>I will say that is mainly because I was tandem

<v Speaker 1>reading Eldrich by Carrie Lake, which was like a six

<v Speaker 1>star for me. So like when I'm reading a very

<v Speaker 1>serious book and then I'm reading a silly book, I'm like,

<v Speaker 1>take me back. But it was very, very very entertaining.

<v Speaker 1>And I love everything that GM Fairy writes.

<v Speaker 5>It's going to say, we love our girl GM Fairy.

<v Speaker 1>Here, Ramsey is just waking up after volunteering to be

<v Speaker 1>part of a military science experiment. He only did it

<v Speaker 1>for the week of rest beforehand and the good meals

<v Speaker 1>offered to him. But he was the only person who volunteered, oh,

<v Speaker 1>because everyone else was like, I'm not fucking doing that,

<v Speaker 1>but he wanted that free food.

<v Speaker 5>Why is he hungry?

<v Speaker 1>Well, he has to eat like shitty military meals. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>he's over the MS.

<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>The drugs he was given were supposed to heighten his

<v Speaker 1>senses to enhance espionage abilities. But when he opens his eyes,

<v Speaker 1>the sterile white room seems huge. He rubs his face

<v Speaker 1>and it seems kind of fuzzy.

<v Speaker 5>Oh, my god.

<v Speaker 1>He goes to stand up, but his legs are wobbly,

<v Speaker 1>and he catches a glimpse of his reflection in the

<v Speaker 1>metal floor. But it's not the floor, it's a metal

<v Speaker 1>table and it's huge. And that's when he realizes he's

<v Speaker 1>a fucking rat.

<v Speaker 2>What the fuck?

<v Speaker 1>He thinks he's gone insane and he simply can't process

<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is going on. He's stoked when he

<v Speaker 1>realizes he can climb. Hella good and he gets down

<v Speaker 1>and scurries into an air vent.

<v Speaker 4>Ah. I bet that'd be fun as fuck to scurry, Oh,

<v Speaker 4>he scurries. Yeah, I feel like that would be so

<v Speaker 4>fun to just scurry around.

<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm.

<v Speaker 1>As soon as he's inside the vent, he hears voices

<v Speaker 1>inside the room asking where the fuck Ramsey is. They're

<v Speaker 1>the scientists who did this to him. One of them

<v Speaker 1>is like, it's fine, dude. We were just gonna dispose

<v Speaker 1>of him anyway, but now we know that this works.

<v Speaker 1>Next time, we'll make sure they can communicate, and then

<v Speaker 1>after that we'll figure out how to change them back.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, So that's what he volunteered for, to.

<v Speaker 1>Be turned into a rat. That was their espionage plan

<v Speaker 1>turn people into rats.

<v Speaker 2>Damn.

<v Speaker 1>Also, we love rats.

<v Speaker 6>Yeah, we parny little rats over here.

<v Speaker 1>The scientists decide that since he's just a rat who

<v Speaker 1>can't talk to anyone, it's fine to just let him go.

<v Speaker 1>Ramsey runs through the vent and finds his way out

<v Speaker 1>of the building. When he makes it out to the grass,

<v Speaker 1>he is positively starving, and his little rodent instincts get

<v Speaker 1>him to take a big old bite out of an

<v Speaker 1>earthworm slithering by.

<v Speaker 2>Did he like it?

<v Speaker 1>He didn't hate it. He didn't hate it, but he

<v Speaker 1>was like disgusted with himself.

<v Speaker 5>Oh, you're a rat. Now you gotta do rat things.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, he's ashamed, but he tells himself he's

<v Speaker 1>got to do what he's got to do.

<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>He journeys for days, trying to make it back to

<v Speaker 1>civilization to find a way out of this mess. But

<v Speaker 1>now he's just lost in the forest. Then he smells

<v Speaker 1>a heavenly scent and he sees a lone house. The

<v Speaker 1>sign says Ratcliff's Fine French Dining, he tells himself. Between

<v Speaker 1>the smell and the name of the restaurant, it's almost

<v Speaker 1>like he doesn't have a choice but to head on

<v Speaker 1>in to find some food. Meanwhile, Jeremy is being trained

<v Speaker 1>on Ratcliffe's big ass wine list, but his memory is

<v Speaker 1>dogshit and he's failing miserably. He got this job to

<v Speaker 1>pay for his dream of being a bodybuilder, and his

<v Speaker 1>job at the supplement store just isn't paying enough.

<v Speaker 5>Damn GMC.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he lied and said he used to work at

<v Speaker 1>a country club and then used his good looks to

<v Speaker 1>get through the interview and now here he is and

<v Speaker 1>his trainer Tricia is not pleased because he's like dumb

<v Speaker 1>as fuck.

<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>Also, this town is called ghost Like Falls and it's

<v Speaker 1>filled with supernaturals, which is very fun. They're making a

<v Speaker 1>series about everything that goes on and go Slight Falls.

<v Speaker 1>Now he's thrown to the wolves and told to serve

<v Speaker 1>a table of four two ghost parents with their two

<v Speaker 1>teenage ghost kids. He fumbles the drink orders and then

<v Speaker 1>slams into another waiter, sending water all over himself, and

<v Speaker 1>now he's soaking wet and embarrassed. As he's sulking away

<v Speaker 1>to go find a new shirt and apron to put on,

<v Speaker 1>he sees a smoking hot lady walk in the front door.

<v Speaker 1>As he goes to the closet in the back to change.

<v Speaker 1>He swears he hears something scurrying around and screams while

<v Speaker 1>running out. He runs into Trisha, the trainer, and says

<v Speaker 1>he swears there's some sort of animal in the closet,

<v Speaker 1>but she just thinks he's high or something. And then

<v Speaker 1>we learn that the smokin' hot hattie is named Charlotte

<v Speaker 1>Ah and she's always wanted to go to France, but

<v Speaker 1>will settle for Ratcliffs for now. She gets a table

<v Speaker 1>for one and immediately notices the soaking, wet ripped, haughty

<v Speaker 1>waiter running to the back of the restaurant. He's got

<v Speaker 1>her clenching her thighs, but she knows she probably just

<v Speaker 1>needs to get laid. The only men she's ever been

<v Speaker 1>with have been secret quickies in the church supply closet,

<v Speaker 1>so she's ever really had a good fuck.

<v Speaker 4>Oh.

<v Speaker 1>For she's twenty one and just ran away from her

<v Speaker 1>strict ass parents' house after refusing to go to med school.

<v Speaker 1>So she's new to town and she's hoping to find

<v Speaker 1>a man to take her home and bang her properly. Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>She looks around the restaurant and is trying to come

<v Speaker 1>to terms that the new town she just moved to

<v Speaker 1>is actually filled with supernaturals, and that there are a

<v Speaker 1>ton of non human looking patrons in this restaurant. Tricia

<v Speaker 1>takes her order and then she hears a bang and

<v Speaker 1>the hot server is flat on the ground, surrounded by

<v Speaker 1>a spilled bowl of salad.

<v Speaker 5>Wow, he does suck at his job.

<v Speaker 1>He's like, really bad at his job.

<v Speaker 6>Horrible.

<v Speaker 1>She observes him and feels kind of sorry for him. Also,

<v Speaker 1>she wants to fuck him. And I want you to

<v Speaker 1>guess what she orders. It's her favorite dish. I don't

<v Speaker 1>know anything about French cuisine, just.

<v Speaker 3>Take a guess.

<v Speaker 1>Like the movie Ratatoui, she orders the Ratatui and it's

<v Speaker 1>the best Ratatoui she's ever had. And she closes her

<v Speaker 1>eyes and moans when she takes a bite. Let me

<v Speaker 1>get the rat made it. No, he doesn't really cook.

<v Speaker 2>He does other things.

<v Speaker 1>He does other stuff. She opens her eyes and sees

<v Speaker 1>the hot waiter is staring at her intensely because she's

<v Speaker 1>having like an orgasm just eating this ratitude.

<v Speaker 2>She's a foodie.

<v Speaker 1>Their eye contact is broken by something scurrying past Charlotte's peripherals,

<v Speaker 1>and now she's hoping that Ratcliffs doesn't have rats. A

<v Speaker 1>few days pass and Ramsey's exploring the restaurant and getting

<v Speaker 1>used to being a rat. But he can't keep his

<v Speaker 1>eyes off of Jeremy. He's super attractive, but he fucking

<v Speaker 1>sucks at being a waiter.

<v Speaker 4>God does he need direction somewhat to lead? The thought

<v Speaker 4>sends a shiver down my spine and a twitch to

<v Speaker 4>my tiny rat penis. Oh yeah, I have a rat

<v Speaker 4>penis now. Every man dreams of a bigger dick being

<v Speaker 4>turned into a rat is too many layers of fucked up.

<v Speaker 4>But having essentially a micro penis, it's a new level

<v Speaker 4>of despair. I've always wanted a micro penis.

<v Speaker 3>Book smaller than a micros.

<v Speaker 1>He thinks to himself that Jeremy probably has a big dick.

<v Speaker 1>He doesn't know why he can't get his mind off

<v Speaker 1>of this guy's dick. He doesn't know if he hates

<v Speaker 1>him or if he envies him. But then the smoking

<v Speaker 1>hot hotty from the other night walks in the restaurant again,

<v Speaker 1>and Ramsey feels a jolt of jealousy at how much

<v Speaker 1>she catches Jeremy's attention. Ramsey was never good with women

<v Speaker 1>when he was a human, and Jeremy is just naturally

<v Speaker 1>good with the ladies, and this woman is obscenely beautiful.

<v Speaker 1>Ramsey is becoming obsessed with her. When he sees that

<v Speaker 1>Jeremy will be the one serving her, he panics because

<v Speaker 1>he doesn't want Jeremy's awful serving skills to scare her

<v Speaker 1>away from coming to Ratcliffs. Jeremy and Charlotte exchange names,

<v Speaker 1>and he takes her drink order Pinot noir and he's

<v Speaker 1>like that's wine, right, Like, are you fucking stupid?

<v Speaker 2>Everyone knows that's wine, and she's.

<v Speaker 1>Like, uh yeah, it's red wine. And he finger guns

<v Speaker 1>at her and walks away. He's like, you get it.

<v Speaker 2>I love that.

<v Speaker 1>Ramsey is watching all of this play out, and he's like,

<v Speaker 1>is that how Jeremy flirts? Because what the fuck was that?

<v Speaker 1>He brings back her wine and winds up spilling it

<v Speaker 1>all down the front of her dreams. He tries to

<v Speaker 1>rub it off, but he just winds up touching her boob.

<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I would be like, get away from me, yeah,

<v Speaker 1>big dumb idiot. He apologizes and she tells him it's okay,

<v Speaker 1>but then he's like, your dinner's on me, and I'll

<v Speaker 1>go get you another server, so don't fuck your meal up.

<v Speaker 1>She goes to reach for him to tell him it's

<v Speaker 1>really okay, but he's already storming off. Hella embarrassed, and

<v Speaker 1>now Ramsey is determined to figure out a way to

<v Speaker 1>guide this hopeless man.

<v Speaker 3>It's been another week at the new job and Jeremy

<v Speaker 3>still isn't getting the hang of it. He clocks in

<v Speaker 3>that day wondering if it's going to be his last

<v Speaker 3>day because none of his coworkers will even look at him.

<v Speaker 3>They're literally like, I can't talk to this fum.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would, I would fucking hate him.

<v Speaker 3>Then the hostess lets him know that he has a

<v Speaker 3>table with a party of one who specifically requested him.

<v Speaker 3>He peeks around the corner and sees that it's Charlotte

<v Speaker 3>and he does not understand why she would come back,

<v Speaker 3>but he goes to put his stuff away. As he's

<v Speaker 3>putting his stuff in the locker, he hears a voice

<v Speaker 3>and it tells him I won't stand by and you

<v Speaker 3>fuck it up with her. Jeremy, He's like, who is

<v Speaker 3>that and the response says.

<v Speaker 2>God, it's me.

<v Speaker 4>God.

<v Speaker 3>He tells the voice to fuck off, and then he

<v Speaker 3>goes out to serve Charlotte. It's kind of an awkward exchange,

<v Speaker 3>and he excuses himself to go get her water, and

<v Speaker 3>in the back, the voice again tells him that they

<v Speaker 3>just want to help. The voice tells him to go

<v Speaker 3>to her table, mention that she looks very lovely tonight,

<v Speaker 3>and then asks if she wants her normal the pino

<v Speaker 3>noir and ratitui. Jeremy decides, fuck it, I'll listen to

<v Speaker 3>the voice see what happens. So he does what he's told,

<v Speaker 3>only when he gets to the table again he's a moron.

<v Speaker 3>He says, do you want the pino narwhale and she's like, Aha,

<v Speaker 3>You're so funny. He's like yeah, and like goes and leaves.

<v Speaker 2>He's like, so do you.

<v Speaker 3>He goes to get her wine, but again in the back,

<v Speaker 3>the voice says that he's an idiot and clearly needs

<v Speaker 3>the help because he can't even remember what wine is.

<v Speaker 3>Jeremy agrees for the help, and the voice shows itself

<v Speaker 3>outsteps a small rat. Jeremy screams like a girl and

<v Speaker 3>backs away, and then the rat starts talking. It explains

<v Speaker 3>that he used to be a human in the military

<v Speaker 3>but got scammed into a science experiment and is.

<v Speaker 2>Now a rat.

<v Speaker 3>Jeremy's like that checks out in this town.

<v Speaker 5>Yeah, okay, right, right, right, right right.

<v Speaker 3>Jeremy lets the rat know that he does not have

<v Speaker 3>a good memory, so he can't woo Charlotte without the

<v Speaker 3>little guy helping him out, so they grab a hat,

<v Speaker 3>shove the rat on his head, put the hat on.

<v Speaker 3>He learns that the rat's name is Ramsey, and as

<v Speaker 3>soon as Ramsey pulls some of his hair, Jeremy's body

<v Speaker 3>moves like a little puppet. They get the wine and

<v Speaker 3>head back to the table and Ramsey tells Jeremy to

<v Speaker 3>ask her out, so Jeremy does. She pauses and he

<v Speaker 3>thinks that he made a mistake, but she ends up

<v Speaker 3>saying yes. They plan to go to a picnic tomorrow.

<v Speaker 3>They finish Jeremy shift, and for once, he doesn't fall,

<v Speaker 3>spill or break anything, and he actually makes some decent tips.

<v Speaker 3>So he was make it like not even one hundred

<v Speaker 3>dollars a night because he would spill and break shit,

<v Speaker 3>but that night he made three hundred dollars. Slay Yeah,

<v Speaker 3>he even offers to split it with Ramsey and Ramsey's like,

<v Speaker 3>I'm a fucking rat.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what the fuck am I gonna do with it?

<v Speaker 3>The next day, Jeremy stops by the restaurant to pick

<v Speaker 3>Ramsey up and places him under a baseball cap that

<v Speaker 3>he mcguy verd to have like little eye holes and

<v Speaker 3>stuff for the rat.

<v Speaker 2>I'm just wondering how that looks like on his head.

<v Speaker 1>You know those guys that like wear the hats, but

<v Speaker 1>they don't pull the hat down all the way, so

<v Speaker 1>it just makes their head look oblong. Yeah, I imagine that.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

<v Speaker 3>They get to the picnic meetup spot, park the car,

<v Speaker 3>and then head to the trail where they'll meet Charlotte.

<v Speaker 3>The picnic is at the falls, and Jeremy is nervous.

<v Speaker 4>Calm down, dipshit, I whisper, cringing at the rapid cadence

<v Speaker 4>of his voice. His shoulders roll back, and he takes

<v Speaker 4>an indistinguishable breath. He does well with direction, never fights me,

<v Speaker 4>and calms the moment I give an order. It makes

<v Speaker 4>my rat dick hard, but that's probably just because it's

<v Speaker 4>been century since I've gotten laid my rat dick.

<v Speaker 3>Jeremy meets Charlotte. They make small talk. He learns she

<v Speaker 3>just moved here, and he starts immediately trauma dumping about

<v Speaker 3>him living in ghost light Falls, his whole life, how

<v Speaker 3>he's a bodybuilder, but it's hard to make money to

<v Speaker 3>support the dream of that, and Ramsey says, shut the

<v Speaker 3>fuck up and ask about her look talking. Yeah, he

<v Speaker 3>tries to do that, but she's actually really interested in

<v Speaker 3>the bodybuilding part, and she's a little too interested, so

<v Speaker 3>it's a bit sexually charged now. Ramsey's jealous at the

<v Speaker 3>chemistry and then a loud clap of thunder happens and

<v Speaker 3>it starts pouring rain. Ramsey is annoyed that Jeremy did

<v Speaker 3>not check the weather and tells him to grab their

<v Speaker 3>stuff and head under the falls. Jeremy does what he's

<v Speaker 3>told like a good boy, and they run under the

<v Speaker 3>water into a cavern. They're soaking wet, and he immediately

<v Speaker 3>regrets listening until she laughs and tells him that this

<v Speaker 3>is the best date she's ever had. He passes her

<v Speaker 3>the picnic blanket to dry off, and their hands touch

<v Speaker 3>and the sexual charges back. They kiss and it deepens

<v Speaker 3>as Ramsey moves Jeremy's hands to her breasts.

<v Speaker 1>Because he's just pulling his hair, calling the shots.

<v Speaker 4>Ramsey pinches her nipple and she grints harder against me.

<v Speaker 4>Jesus Christ, I murmur against her lips, something about having

<v Speaker 4>my body use like a puppet rewires my brain. I

<v Speaker 4>want Ramsey to use me at his will to pleasure

<v Speaker 4>her and maybe even to pleasure himself, as fucked up

<v Speaker 4>as it sounds.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's a little weird. Rat, Yeah, it's a little weird.

<v Speaker 4>I want this little rat on top of me to

<v Speaker 4>pleasure himself.

<v Speaker 3>They kiss and he continues with some nipple play.

<v Speaker 4>A small cry comes from above me, and a warm

<v Speaker 4>wetness seeps against my scalp. Oooo.

<v Speaker 1>They never elaborate on that. That is never brought up again.

<v Speaker 2>Rat come yeah.

<v Speaker 3>Charlotte pulls back, suggesting that they stop. Jeremy agrees, and

<v Speaker 3>then she mentions having their second date at her place tomorrow.

<v Speaker 3>They head back to their vehicles, ending the first date.

<v Speaker 3>The next day, Charlotte is stressing about her messy apartment

<v Speaker 3>when the doorbell rings. Jeremy's there and she apologizes for

<v Speaker 3>the mess, but again, she just moved and has not unpacked.

<v Speaker 3>He offers to help her unpack, and apparently this is

<v Speaker 3>the sexiest thing that a man can never say to

<v Speaker 3>this woman, because she launches herself at him and starts

<v Speaker 3>kissing him, forcing her tongue down his throat.

<v Speaker 2>I'd say, no, you have no idea where I want

<v Speaker 2>anything to go.

<v Speaker 3>He's into this, though, and tries to be a gentleman,

<v Speaker 3>asking if she's sure she wants to do this. She says,

<v Speaker 3>fuck their dinner plans and leads him to her bedroom.

<v Speaker 3>Once his shirt is off, she compares him to a

<v Speaker 3>Greek god and thinks to herself, please don't have a

<v Speaker 3>small dick.

<v Speaker 5>Oh, my god, I hope he does.

<v Speaker 3>When his pants and boxers come off, though she's happy

<v Speaker 3>about it.

<v Speaker 4>My eyes shift from his beautiful face to his package

<v Speaker 4>as I release him. There must be a god and

<v Speaker 4>I must be one of his favorites, because his dick

<v Speaker 4>is perfect, large, almost dangerously so, lined with veins and

<v Speaker 4>a shade of pink that matches his poudy lips.

<v Speaker 1>Does the dick tip match the lip?

<v Speaker 3>Like how they say? Like our nipples match to your

<v Speaker 3>lip color?

<v Speaker 2>My lips are white.

<v Speaker 6>You got some pale nippies.

<v Speaker 5>Or what I mean? On the outside, I guess. I

<v Speaker 5>guess they're pink on the inside.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Why are we talking about this? Wait,

<v Speaker 2>we're talking about nipples or lips?

<v Speaker 1>Pussy lips? Oh I thought we were talking about nipples.

<v Speaker 3>I thought we were talking about nipples too.

<v Speaker 1>Oh I was like the inside, Oh my god.

<v Speaker 2>He's saying pussy lips and nipple.

<v Speaker 1>No one was talking about pussy lips.

<v Speaker 4>Was because we were saying penis.

<v Speaker 3>She immediately drops to her knees and starts giving him

<v Speaker 3>a blowjob. Just as he's about to come, she hears.

<v Speaker 2>Squeaking, Oh my god.

<v Speaker 3>But Jeremy pulls her off and kisses her and then

<v Speaker 3>puts her on the bed, on all fours. They agree

<v Speaker 3>they're both clean. She's on the pill and then they

<v Speaker 3>raw dog their first time, and it's amazing.

<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, don't do that.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, not safe.

<v Speaker 3>Once they finish, she swears. She hears the third sigh,

<v Speaker 3>so like they both sigh, and then she hears like another.

<v Speaker 1>Ah, oh, oh my god, Ramsey came again.

<v Speaker 2>Horny little rat.

<v Speaker 3>Charlotte is at the restaurant the next day watching Jeremy.

<v Speaker 3>They pass notes back and forth while he works, but

<v Speaker 3>of course Ramsey is the one actually writing them in

<v Speaker 3>the back, which also he's a rat. The pen is

<v Speaker 3>gonna be like.

<v Speaker 1>I know, huge, he's trying his best, he is.

<v Speaker 3>The notes start innocent and get progressively riskier, and it

<v Speaker 3>makes his rat dick hard.

<v Speaker 4>Oha.

<v Speaker 3>This goes on all night until the restaurant closes. He

<v Speaker 3>watches her granite Jeremy saying that she'll see him tomorrow

<v Speaker 3>for their dinner at his apartment. Again, Jeremy has no

<v Speaker 3>idea what the notes say, so he asks Ramsey what

<v Speaker 3>dinner she's talking about, and he's not mad, he just

<v Speaker 3>would like to know what was said, so he's prepared

<v Speaker 3>to not look like an idiot. When she mentioned something,

<v Speaker 3>Ramsey says, the only thing he should be worried about

<v Speaker 3>is getting her to come more than once tomorrow. Jeremy laughs,

<v Speaker 3>saying that's only in porn, and Ramsey's like, no, it's not.

<v Speaker 3>And now they have some weird sexual tension going on,

<v Speaker 3>but it breaks when Jeremy says, Okay, i'll pick you

<v Speaker 3>up tomorrow by.

<v Speaker 1>The rat stop it.

<v Speaker 4>Okay. I'm like, you have sexual tension with a rat.

<v Speaker 4>I mean he used to be a man, I know,

<v Speaker 4>but he's a rat.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, But like, can you fault him for that?

<v Speaker 2>Jeremy never knew him as a human, only a rat.

<v Speaker 1>But he's like a suave rat. Yeah, I mean he is.

<v Speaker 6>It does have game.

<v Speaker 3>Also, the rats came in his hair multiple times.

<v Speaker 2>Like they are one.

<v Speaker 4>They are.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, Jeremy's apartment is clean, Ramsey's picked up, and they

<v Speaker 3>have all the ingredients to make homemade pizza with Charlotte.

<v Speaker 3>But Jeremy can't help but look at Ramsey in their

<v Speaker 3>relationship a little bit differently. Now. He was never attracted

<v Speaker 3>to men before, and he's certainly not attracted to a rat,

<v Speaker 3>but he knows he's attracted to Ramsey as a soul,

<v Speaker 3>not a rat. The things that Ramsey says, how he.

<v Speaker 2>Talks, Oh my god, how he helps.

<v Speaker 3>Him do things better, and he doesn't want to be

<v Speaker 3>without the little guy. Now there's a knock at the

<v Speaker 3>door and Ramsey gets under the baseball hat and they

<v Speaker 3>let Charlotte in. They get to work and making their pizzas,

<v Speaker 3>and once they're in the oven, they don't know what

<v Speaker 3>to do.

<v Speaker 4>Slowly walk toward her, push her legs apart, pull her

<v Speaker 4>panties to the side, and eat her pussy. It sounds

<v Speaker 4>so vulgar coming from his mouth, but it's actually what

<v Speaker 4>my dick begs me to do. I have an idea,

<v Speaker 4>I say in a low husky tone, walking toward her.

<v Speaker 3>She's already sitting on the counter, so it makes it

<v Speaker 3>easy for Jeremy to follow the directions. But before he

<v Speaker 3>can start munching away, Ramsey whispers.

<v Speaker 4>Now, blow on her cun. I want to see it clench,

<v Speaker 4>peer wonders. Her legs shake and her pussy seeps more liquid.

<v Speaker 4>I want to see it clench.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that is vulgar coming from a rat.

<v Speaker 1>He's got a front row seat, he does. Yeah.

<v Speaker 3>Then he starts eating her out and doesn't notice that

<v Speaker 3>his hat falls off until she starts screaming. And it's

<v Speaker 3>not from an orgasm.

<v Speaker 2>Oh no.

<v Speaker 3>She exclaims that there's a rat on his head and

<v Speaker 3>he's like, oh yeah, that's just Ramsey.

<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, and she's like, excuse me.

<v Speaker 3>He explains to her that Ramsey used to be a

<v Speaker 3>man in the military, science excerment gone wrong, YadA, YadA YadA,

<v Speaker 3>and he helps me function day to day to be

<v Speaker 3>a better person and to connect with you. And she's

<v Speaker 3>like fucking weird.

<v Speaker 2>Nope, She's like, I gotta go.

<v Speaker 3>She gets stressed, leaves and now Ramsey's like smooth and

<v Speaker 3>they just lost their dream And girl.

<v Speaker 6>Damn Ramsey shows up at Charlotte's apartment all alone, with

<v Speaker 6>a little small bouquet of wildflowers in his little paws.

<v Speaker 6>Oh cute, because he's a rat. His knock is not heard,

<v Speaker 6>but have no fear. Just when he's about to give up,

<v Speaker 6>the door opens, it out comes Charlotte. She still doesn't

<v Speaker 6>see him until he says, hey, you stop.

<v Speaker 1>Do you think he sounds like a man or like squeaky?

<v Speaker 2>I think he sounds like a bank.

<v Speaker 4>Oh oh my god, that's scary. A man's voice coming

<v Speaker 4>from a rat. GM let us know what is the

<v Speaker 4>rat's voice? Like?

<v Speaker 6>Yes, please, she screams, but he tells her he's only

<v Speaker 6>here to apologize. She wants nothing to do with him,

<v Speaker 6>but he's like, at least let me help you set

<v Speaker 6>up your apartment. It's the least I can do. She's like, bro,

<v Speaker 6>you're literally a rat. Like I'm not sure how much

<v Speaker 6>help you can be.

<v Speaker 4>I can't deny that. The words sting, But I don't

<v Speaker 4>blame her. She doesn't know me. To her, I'm the

<v Speaker 4>creepy little rodent that stared into the depths of her vagina.

<v Speaker 2>You were Yeah.

<v Speaker 6>She ultimately agrees and he gets to work. Somehow he

<v Speaker 6>managed to set up her whole apartment like he put

<v Speaker 6>together an entire entertainment center me.

<v Speaker 2>He even hung picture frames.

<v Speaker 1>Riley. He works hard fake news GM Ferry.

<v Speaker 2>I'm drawing the line at that.

<v Speaker 4>There's no way this little fucking rat unpacked a whole apartment.

<v Speaker 2>I'm drawing the line there.

<v Speaker 6>As she's watching him work, they finally break the silence

<v Speaker 6>and start knowing more about each other. She's like, Okay,

<v Speaker 6>so you're some creepy talking rat. Who is Bessie's with

<v Speaker 6>the human and share woman. He's like, no, I met

<v Speaker 6>Jeremy when I was hiding as a rat. He was

<v Speaker 6>trying and feeling to impress you, and he knew that

<v Speaker 6>he had to help him because the first time that

<v Speaker 6>he laid eyes on Charlotte, he knew deep down that

<v Speaker 6>she was special to him. He can't have her, but

<v Speaker 6>Jeremy can, and he just wants her to be happy.

<v Speaker 6>He admits at first he was just doing this for her,

<v Speaker 6>but now he's kind of got it bed for Jeremy too.

<v Speaker 6>He knows he overstepped, but Jeremy's a good guy and

<v Speaker 6>she should really give him another chance. She nods and

<v Speaker 6>he excuses himself, telling her goodbye, and with one last look,

<v Speaker 6>he can tell she's crying.

<v Speaker 2>After her conversation with the rat.

<v Speaker 1>I really want to know what his voice sounds like.

<v Speaker 5>I know.

<v Speaker 2>Me too.

<v Speaker 1>Imagine it's squeaky, though, and he was like, now pull

<v Speaker 1>her pennies to the side.

<v Speaker 3>I can't picture like that because that's weird.

<v Speaker 6>Five minutes after Ramsey left, there's a knock on her

<v Speaker 6>door and it's Jeremy. He apologizes, and when he sees

<v Speaker 6>her apartment completely finished, she's like, oh, yeah, that was

<v Speaker 6>all Ramsey and he's gagged.

<v Speaker 2>He's like, what he did all of that?

<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I bet he's.

<v Speaker 2>Also like, he didn't do that.

<v Speaker 5>You're lying.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe he's also got super strength.

<v Speaker 2>Maybe he has to. Then, no, he literally has to.

<v Speaker 5>He was a science experiment.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he hung a picture frame on the wall.

<v Speaker 2>Walk me through it.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe he has the strength per body mass of like

<v Speaker 1>an ant.

<v Speaker 4>Hmm.

<v Speaker 1>Okay, hen just lifts shit up and you just put

<v Speaker 1>it on his little back and screwed up the wall.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, Okay, maybe you're right.

<v Speaker 5>I'll let it be.

<v Speaker 6>Jeremy admits to Charlotte that Ramsey did help a lot

<v Speaker 6>in the beginning, but once he got comfortable, he wanted

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey to be there because he enjoyed the direction Ramsey

<v Speaker 6>gave him, and he really likes his company.

<v Speaker 2>I know he's a rat, but he's also not He's

<v Speaker 2>a man.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Charlotte's like, damn.

<v Speaker 6>He basically admitted to being turned on by a rat,

<v Speaker 6>but I kind of get it. All this honesty is

<v Speaker 6>really turning her on, and she's starting to really like Jeremy.

<v Speaker 6>He leans in and gives her a smooch, and then

<v Speaker 6>they start making out and start bumping and grinding, and

<v Speaker 6>Homegirl is getting Hella soaked. They both get naked and

<v Speaker 6>are ready to do the deed.

<v Speaker 4>Fuck, Charlotte, I need you. It's desperate begging almost. He

<v Speaker 4>gives shallow thrust, but I'm already so wet. My body's

<v Speaker 4>accepting his size readily. He moves deeper and I nearly

<v Speaker 4>lose my mind at the sensation.

<v Speaker 6>They have some bomb ass sex, but Charlotte can't help

<v Speaker 6>but feel that something's missing.

<v Speaker 5>Ramsey, Oh my goodness.

<v Speaker 1>We can't do this without the rat.

<v Speaker 2>I want you to put your hat back on with

<v Speaker 2>the rat your rat hat.

<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

<v Speaker 6>The next day at work, Jeremy finds a note under

<v Speaker 6>his car keys and it's Ramsey breaking up with him.

<v Speaker 5>What the fuck?

<v Speaker 6>Why? Because he thinks that they're just better off without

<v Speaker 6>him because he's a rat and he can't have sex.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean he's kind of right.

<v Speaker 2>He could be their pet. What are you talking about, Ramsey?

<v Speaker 1>But he helps them.

<v Speaker 5>Fuck, they're polyamorous.

<v Speaker 1>What kind of fulfillment could Ramsey get out of a

<v Speaker 1>relationship with them?

<v Speaker 2>They could rub his little dick for him, Oh my god.

<v Speaker 1>No, but they're not into bestiality. They're not attracted to

<v Speaker 1>him as a rat.

<v Speaker 5>I know, I don't know.

<v Speaker 3>He can use his own pause to rub his dick

<v Speaker 3>while he watches, So.

<v Speaker 1>He just has to be a cook for the rest

<v Speaker 1>of his life, you guess.

<v Speaker 6>So, Hey, he's in a really good position compared to

<v Speaker 6>other rats. Yeah, Jeremy had to work his first solo

<v Speaker 6>ship without Ramsey and he missed him so much.

<v Speaker 2>Who would have.

<v Speaker 4>Thought that, just a few weeks with a rat pulling

<v Speaker 4>my hair, I'd be so addicted to his direction. Yeah,

<v Speaker 4>because you're fucking stupid and the rat made you smarter.

<v Speaker 6>Jeremy decided to put together a cute private candle at

<v Speaker 6>dinner for Charlotte to apologize again, and although Ramsey isn't

<v Speaker 6>with them, he really hopes he's watching. The combo between

<v Speaker 6>them is kind of stiff and awkward, and Charlotte tells

<v Speaker 6>Jeremy she understands why he chose to include Ramsey and

<v Speaker 6>their escapades.

<v Speaker 2>That's kind of a burn.

<v Speaker 4>Yeah, he's just so commanding, so sure of himself, even.

<v Speaker 5>As a rat.

<v Speaker 2>He's still a man deep inside.

<v Speaker 1>What about the.

<v Speaker 3>One guy that like shoved a gerbil up his butt

<v Speaker 3>or something? They could do that with him?

<v Speaker 1>Who did that? It was like a famous person?

<v Speaker 4>Right?

<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

<v Speaker 2>Did the gerbil die?

<v Speaker 5>I mean, yeah, I'm upset it.

<v Speaker 1>Was Richard Gear What the fuck? Yeah? I think it's

<v Speaker 1>like a rumor.

<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I don't think it's like confirmed nor denied.

<v Speaker 2>That's a terrible rumor to have about yourself.

<v Speaker 1>I guess she.

<v Speaker 3>Had also used the rat to like rub one off.

<v Speaker 4>You know, you kill the rat, Shelby saying your jerk,

<v Speaker 4>your dick while holding the rat.

<v Speaker 1>No her, Charlotte rub his.

<v Speaker 3>Fur on her, cutting the rat up her, just rubbing

<v Speaker 3>it against ewa.

<v Speaker 1>Rats are dirty, He's not they're not into best reality.

<v Speaker 1>They don't want to fuck a rat.

<v Speaker 4>They're not fucking a rat. He's just part of it.

<v Speaker 4>But they're not fucking him.

<v Speaker 1>He just helps them fuck.

<v Speaker 6>Charlotte asked if they get together, if he would be

<v Speaker 6>happy with just the two of them. Immediately, he says yes,

<v Speaker 6>not wanting to lose her, but deep down he knows

<v Speaker 6>he would want Ramsey there, so he decides to be honest. Surprisingly,

<v Speaker 6>Charlotte feels the same. She tells him she's game to

<v Speaker 6>have Ramsey be a part of their tryst.

<v Speaker 1>Matter of fact, she needs him. I think they're just

<v Speaker 1>not compatible at all.

<v Speaker 4>Literally, She's probably like, you're boring as fuck without him.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, please bring him back. You're just hot.

<v Speaker 5>That's why I'm with you.

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey's watching all this go down from the ceiling raptors

<v Speaker 6>as Charlotte and Jeremy are on their hands and knees

<v Speaker 6>searching for him.

<v Speaker 1>They're like, Ramsey, where are you?

<v Speaker 6>He's at war because they accept him, but he doesn't

<v Speaker 6>accept himself.

<v Speaker 1>He's a rat. He can't be part of a trio.

<v Speaker 5>Guess you can.

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey makes himself known and asks how this would even work.

<v Speaker 6>They said easy, You'll be our leader. Jeremy will be

<v Speaker 6>the vessel, and you can play out all your desires.

<v Speaker 6>He's gonna be considered an equal in this relationship. Jeremy

<v Speaker 6>steps next to Charlotte. She's not the only one who

<v Speaker 6>feels this way. I like you, Ramsey, more than a friend,

<v Speaker 6>more than a human, like a rat. If this situation

<v Speaker 6>is all we have, I don't want to be without it,

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey says, twist my arm.

<v Speaker 5>Okay.

<v Speaker 6>They all sit down and eat ratitu together, and Ramsey's

<v Speaker 6>in great spirits. That is until his stomach sours and

<v Speaker 6>the world tilts and then everything goes black.

<v Speaker 5>Rap poison.

<v Speaker 1>He was poisoned with the ratituey.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

<v Speaker 6>He wakes up in a bed and goes to run

<v Speaker 6>his paw down his face when he realizes he has

<v Speaker 6>hands again.

<v Speaker 2>What the fuck?

<v Speaker 6>He calls for Charlotte and she runs into the room,

<v Speaker 6>taking in his butt ass naked form. Both Charlotte and

<v Speaker 6>Jeremy are drooling over sexy ass. Ramsey try to figure

<v Speaker 6>out how he became normal again, and Jeremy has a

<v Speaker 6>brainstorm idea and he's like, whoa, what if the rat

<v Speaker 6>at tuy cured you of your ratness.

<v Speaker 4>Oh my god, it was so obvious the whole time.

<v Speaker 6>Charlotte, ever, the realist, tells them they don't know how

<v Speaker 6>much time they have left, so they better get to

<v Speaker 6>fucking right away.

<v Speaker 1>They're like, yeah, yeah, whatever, let's fuck.

<v Speaker 4>None of them are asking questions nothing, They're.

<v Speaker 1>Cool.

<v Speaker 4>You have a real dick, now, let's go. Is that

<v Speaker 4>what you both want to fuck?

<v Speaker 5>Me?

<v Speaker 4>As a man? Ramsey, I don't want to fuck a rat.

<v Speaker 4>I wanted the you on the inside. You're not just

<v Speaker 4>a man, You're you. Before I have time to argue,

<v Speaker 4>he pushes forward, grabbing my face and pulling my lips

<v Speaker 4>to his. It's my first kiss with a man, my

<v Speaker 4>first kiss in so fucking long, and it's almost too much.

<v Speaker 4>My hands find his neck, pulling him closer to.

<v Speaker 1>Me, and they were boy.

<v Speaker 6>Charlotte climbs over to Ramsey and gets on her knees.

<v Speaker 6>She's ready to andform the Gluck Gluck three thousand and

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey admits he doesn't know how long he'll last.

<v Speaker 1>Shouldn't be a problem.

<v Speaker 5>You're a pro at coming more than once.

<v Speaker 6>After all, Ramsey is filled with need and wants them

<v Speaker 6>both bad, especially Jeremy.

<v Speaker 4>It's weird, how much I want to feel him, lick him,

<v Speaker 4>take him until he's hitting the back of my throat.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, he's a horny rat.

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey starts stroking Jeremy and is hot with need.

<v Speaker 4>I just play, running my fingers over his tip, feeling

<v Speaker 4>his bulging veins, down his shaft. I think we might

<v Speaker 4>be the same size, I whisper into his lips. I'll

<v Speaker 4>have to feel for myself.

<v Speaker 2>My god.

<v Speaker 4>They just both like I've never been with a man,

<v Speaker 4>but now they're like, I'm gonna feel your dick.

<v Speaker 6>Crazy Ramsey comes violently in Charlotte's mouth.

<v Speaker 4>Jeremy whispers into my ear. That's a good boy. Come

<v Speaker 4>for us so much. Come in her tiny little mouth.

<v Speaker 6>Ramsey tells Jeremy he's gonna give him another lesson, a

<v Speaker 6>pussy eating lesson. Jeremy's jerking it while Ramsey's munching on Charlotte.

<v Speaker 6>As Ramsey's having some delectable dessert, he grabs Jeremy starts

<v Speaker 6>jerking Hi himself, so they switch out positions and end

<v Speaker 6>up doing a cutees the Eiffel Tower moment, per Ramsey's order.

<v Speaker 4>Of course, they're my perfect little playthings and I don't

<v Speaker 4>even have to pull hair to get them to do

<v Speaker 4>what I want.

<v Speaker 6>This is the first time Ramsey has fell complete. Ramsey

<v Speaker 6>slips out of God, I love you too, and surprisingly

<v Speaker 6>they both return the heartfelt sentiment.

<v Speaker 1>They're in love.

<v Speaker 6>Everything is perfect until Ramsey feels the world starting to

<v Speaker 6>fade away again. It's months later, and Ramsey now works

<v Speaker 6>at the restaurant. When he's in his human form, his

<v Speaker 6>name is now Romeo. Romeo says he has a medical condition,

<v Speaker 6>and that condition is him occasionally turning into a rat,

<v Speaker 6>so if it flares up at work, Jeremy takes over

<v Speaker 6>for him and they are ever the team. Charlotte still

<v Speaker 6>goes to the restaurant almost every night to watch her

<v Speaker 6>men work, and then they all leave together to go

<v Speaker 6>home and get their freak gone.

<v Speaker 4>I'm so goddamn full. Last time I was sure Ramsey's

<v Speaker 4>giant cock would split me in two.

<v Speaker 5>But this time is perfect, better than perfect. Out of

<v Speaker 5>this fucking world. Oh, he's got a giant cock. Nice.

<v Speaker 6>It's six months later and they still can't get enough

<v Speaker 6>of each other. There's one thing different though. They have evolved,

<v Speaker 6>or rather Ramsey has.

<v Speaker 4>That's right, good boy, I'll tell you both when you're

<v Speaker 4>allowed to come again. His smooth tail slides against my thigh,

<v Speaker 4>moving upwards and around my body to Charlotte underneath me.

<v Speaker 4>As she holds herself up on all fours. Her pussy

<v Speaker 4>clamps around me, and I cry out. Ramsey must have

<v Speaker 4>used his rattail to play with her clit. Wait is

<v Speaker 4>he like giant now just.

<v Speaker 1>A giant rat? He's just chucky cheese.

<v Speaker 6>Two months ago, Ramsey kept his human form, but also

<v Speaker 6>some of his rat form. He now has a human

<v Speaker 6>sized rattail on his human body, but none of them

<v Speaker 6>are complaining the end.

<v Speaker 5>A human sized rattail, No, thank you.

<v Speaker 1>She could have been doing that with his rat body.

<v Speaker 2>Hairy little rat body.

<v Speaker 1>So Riley, How many red pepper emojis do you give

<v Speaker 1>this one?

<v Speaker 4>I think I give it three and a half. Okay,

<v Speaker 4>swamp is still my favorite.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, so good.

<v Speaker 5>But yeah it was good.

<v Speaker 2>I liked it.

<v Speaker 5>Cutsie, funny, cute.

<v Speaker 1>Do you think that Ramsey and or Jeremy are sexy?

<v Speaker 4>No, Jeremy is just too dumb, and then Ramsey's a rat,

<v Speaker 4>but like kind of not a rat. I don't know.

<v Speaker 2>I guess Ramsey could be a little bit.

<v Speaker 1>Would you trade places with Charlotte?

<v Speaker 5>Why not? Nothing bad happens. Sounds like she's having a

<v Speaker 5>good time. Sure she is.

<v Speaker 1>She got to go to Paris, Yeah she did. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>But how alarming would it be if a guy was

<v Speaker 1>going down on you and then his hat came off

<v Speaker 1>and there was a fucking rat.

<v Speaker 6>On his head?

<v Speaker 2>Was terrifying?

<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>Well, next week we're telling Riley all about Jack's Head

<v Speaker 1>by Siggie Shade, and we're gonna have her look at

<v Speaker 1>the cover and give us her best guess on what

<v Speaker 1>it might be about.

<v Speaker 4>Okay, so it's got like a ghostly little pumpkinhead on

<v Speaker 4>the cover.

<v Speaker 5>I think it's gonna be paranormal.

<v Speaker 4>It's gonna be Halloween time, fall harvest, and I think

<v Speaker 4>that the female main character is going to be in

<v Speaker 4>this ghostly little town doing some festivities and she's gonna

<v Speaker 4>meet this pirormal ghost man and he's a scary ghost

<v Speaker 4>man does bad things. They're gonna do festivities together. She's

<v Speaker 4>not gonna know he's bad at first, but then she

<v Speaker 4>finds out and then she does something bad with him,

<v Speaker 4>and the bang of course, and then they go to

<v Speaker 4>an underground layer under a cornfield it's not corn daddy, okay,

<v Speaker 4>under a pumpkin patch and then there's a layer under

<v Speaker 4>there and they do things in there.

<v Speaker 5>How'd I do?

<v Speaker 1>You were like kind of close? I want to say.

<v Speaker 1>There is a layer, it's kind of a layer, and

<v Speaker 1>there is like a ghost man who's bad. I see

<v Speaker 1>you're pretty good.

<v Speaker 5>Thank you?

<v Speaker 1>All right? Well, if you liked this episode, make sure

<v Speaker 1>you rate, review, and subscribe.

<v Speaker 6>Follow us on Instagram at smut up and Listen podcast,

<v Speaker 6>and on TikTok at smut up and Listen.

<v Speaker 2>Tell your friends, but not your mom, and we'll see

<v Speaker 2>you later.

<v Speaker 4>You have wrny little raps by