1
00:00:00,236 --> 00:00:00,746
Hi Beth.

2
00:00:00,746 --> 00:00:01,526
Thank you for being here.

3
00:00:01,556 --> 00:00:02,156
here Hi Christa.

4
00:00:02,576 --> 00:00:03,806
Thanks for having me.

5
00:00:03,956 --> 00:00:05,066
I'm so excited to talk to you because

6
00:00:05,066 --> 00:00:06,026
I feel like there's so many different,

7
00:00:06,026 --> 00:00:07,736
like areas we can go with, but like

8
00:00:08,186 --> 00:00:11,258
starting off, I always see your tarot

9
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:13,508
videos and I find they're so interesting.

10
00:00:13,604 --> 00:00:14,405
I didn't really know much

11
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:15,425
about tarot growing up.

12
00:00:15,425 --> 00:00:16,535
And then like I'd more and more

13
00:00:16,535 --> 00:00:18,378
friends kind of tell me about it and

14
00:00:18,378 --> 00:00:20,058
I just think it's so interesting.

15
00:00:20,301 --> 00:00:22,169
so first, before I jump the gun,

16
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:23,249
can you just say a little bit

17
00:00:23,249 --> 00:00:24,874
about yourself, like who you are,

18
00:00:24,874 --> 00:00:26,139
what you do, and your background.

19
00:00:26,675 --> 00:00:27,335
Yes.

20
00:00:27,335 --> 00:00:29,285
So my name is Beth Hoffberg, but

21
00:00:29,285 --> 00:00:31,257
on TikTok, I'm intuitivelybeth

22
00:00:31,736 --> 00:00:34,016
and I have been a certified

23
00:00:34,016 --> 00:00:35,966
life coach for over 10 years.

24
00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:37,928
My background actually is in psychology.

25
00:00:37,928 --> 00:00:39,368
I have my bachelor's in psych and my

26
00:00:39,368 --> 00:00:40,868
master's in Marriage and family therapy.

27
00:00:40,868 --> 00:00:42,188
And I worked like corporate jobs

28
00:00:42,188 --> 00:00:44,908
for a long time, but even as I've

29
00:00:44,908 --> 00:00:46,401
been getting like more and more into

30
00:00:46,401 --> 00:00:48,233
astrology, I'm like, oh my gosh, my

31
00:00:48,233 --> 00:00:49,973
chart is made to be an entrepreneur.

32
00:00:50,183 --> 00:00:50,243
Wow.

33
00:00:50,783 --> 00:00:54,287
And so I started my own businesses in,

34
00:00:54,347 --> 00:00:56,426
the first one I started was in 2016.

35
00:00:56,756 --> 00:00:58,455
and I've been doing various things

36
00:00:58,455 --> 00:01:00,465
since then, but I started practicing

37
00:01:00,465 --> 00:01:03,066
tarot, and eight years ago now.

38
00:01:03,276 --> 00:01:06,096
And then really just for myself.

39
00:01:06,396 --> 00:01:08,392
and then as the time has gone on and

40
00:01:08,392 --> 00:01:09,742
I've just like felt called in different

41
00:01:09,742 --> 00:01:11,152
directions and gone through my own

42
00:01:11,152 --> 00:01:13,252
healing process and things like that,

43
00:01:13,252 --> 00:01:15,472
I've really been focusing on it more.

44
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:17,248
I love helping people who have.

45
00:01:17,398 --> 00:01:19,078
Gone through trauma, get more

46
00:01:19,078 --> 00:01:21,088
in touch with their intuition.

47
00:01:21,088 --> 00:01:22,948
It's so hard after you've experienced

48
00:01:22,948 --> 00:01:24,508
trauma to like trust yourself again.

49
00:01:24,610 --> 00:01:25,540
think a lot of times people are like,

50
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:26,980
how will I ever trust somebody else?

51
00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:28,090
But really it's so much about how do

52
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:29,844
you trust you and getting in touch

53
00:01:29,844 --> 00:01:32,004
with like your spirit team or whatever

54
00:01:32,184 --> 00:01:34,044
source you wanna talk about it as.

55
00:01:34,111 --> 00:01:35,085
That's something I really like helping

56
00:01:35,085 --> 00:01:36,315
people with and that's something I

57
00:01:36,315 --> 00:01:37,395
really had to work through after going

58
00:01:37,395 --> 00:01:39,405
through my own traumatic experiences.

59
00:01:39,753 --> 00:01:41,403
about two years ago, I'm coming up on

60
00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:43,113
my two year TikTok anniversary is when

61
00:01:43,113 --> 00:01:46,539
I started on TikTok and I just started

62
00:01:46,539 --> 00:01:47,794
with tarot ' cause that seemed like that

63
00:01:47,794 --> 00:01:49,354
was the place I really wanted to focus.

64
00:01:49,354 --> 00:01:51,289
But, lately I've been doing more and more

65
00:01:51,289 --> 00:01:53,179
astrology, like mixed with tarot for my

66
00:01:53,179 --> 00:01:54,829
clients and that's like my favorite thing

67
00:01:54,829 --> 00:01:57,346
to do is astrology and tarot combined.

68
00:01:57,376 --> 00:01:58,336
'cause I think that there's so

69
00:01:58,336 --> 00:02:00,179
many powerful messages from both.

70
00:02:00,869 --> 00:02:02,339
I find it so interesting.

71
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,267
Like, I was kind of saying I

72
00:02:03,267 --> 00:02:04,407
feel like growing up everyone

73
00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:05,727
knows like their sun sign.

74
00:02:05,727 --> 00:02:07,437
And for anyone that's like listening,

75
00:02:07,437 --> 00:02:09,641
you know, that's your birthdate, right?

76
00:02:09,670 --> 00:02:11,440
so I'm a Virgo because I'm August.

77
00:02:11,641 --> 00:02:13,021
I remember always hearing like,

78
00:02:13,051 --> 00:02:14,281
oh, other people were Virgo too.

79
00:02:14,281 --> 00:02:15,337
And I'd be like, well, I don't really

80
00:02:15,337 --> 00:02:16,529
know if I believe in astrology.

81
00:02:16,529 --> 00:02:17,399
'cause I know they're Virgos

82
00:02:17,399 --> 00:02:18,329
and words so different.

83
00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:18,479
Mm-hmm.

84
00:02:18,491 --> 00:02:19,241
Then I started learning about

85
00:02:19,241 --> 00:02:21,007
like Your rising sign Your moon?

86
00:02:21,012 --> 00:02:21,162
Yep.

87
00:02:21,337 --> 00:02:22,447
And I'm like, and I would read

88
00:02:22,447 --> 00:02:23,317
about that and I was like,

89
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:25,302
wait, it's kind of clicking now.

90
00:02:25,493 --> 00:02:26,022
So interesting.

91
00:02:26,022 --> 00:02:26,532
Yes.

92
00:02:26,608 --> 00:02:28,443
you know what your moon and rising are?

93
00:02:28,503 --> 00:02:31,233
Yes, I am a Sagittarius moon.

94
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:31,731
Okay.

95
00:02:31,731 --> 00:02:32,931
And I'm a Libra rising.

96
00:02:33,471 --> 00:02:33,891
Okay.

97
00:02:34,051 --> 00:02:36,451
It's funny because at one of my corporate

98
00:02:36,451 --> 00:02:38,701
jobs, like we're talking three, four

99
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:40,425
years ago now, my assistant also her

100
00:02:40,425 --> 00:02:42,106
name was Christa she's still here.

101
00:02:42,106 --> 00:02:43,191
Christa still her name.

102
00:02:43,261 --> 00:02:44,386
Yeah, she still here.

103
00:02:44,644 --> 00:02:45,189
she was actually on the

104
00:02:45,189 --> 00:02:46,329
podcast a while back, but

105
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,150
she, I remember

106
00:02:47,150 --> 00:02:48,650
like started like sharing like

107
00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:49,970
different like astrology things with

108
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:51,140
me and that's when I kinda learned

109
00:02:51,140 --> 00:02:53,109
more about like Rising sign and she's

110
00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:54,549
like, yeah, we're both rising Libras.

111
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:55,719
And that's why I think like, we

112
00:02:55,719 --> 00:02:56,784
like kind of vibe 'cause we're

113
00:02:56,814 --> 00:02:58,237
very forward facing, friendly.

114
00:02:58,237 --> 00:03:00,157
And I was like, wait, what does this mean?

115
00:03:00,157 --> 00:03:02,521
So I find that so interesting and I

116
00:03:02,521 --> 00:03:04,311
think when people learn more about

117
00:03:04,311 --> 00:03:05,616
it, it's really just like learning

118
00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:06,996
more about yourself in a way.

119
00:03:06,996 --> 00:03:07,386
Right.

120
00:03:08,001 --> 00:03:08,481
Yes.

121
00:03:08,781 --> 00:03:10,131
Oh, it's so funny 'cause now that

122
00:03:10,141 --> 00:03:11,838
like, I remember that episode because

123
00:03:11,898 --> 00:03:14,321
I have listened to every podcast.

124
00:03:14,921 --> 00:03:14,981
Yay.

125
00:03:14,981 --> 00:03:15,431
I love it.

126
00:03:16,481 --> 00:03:18,461
It's one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

127
00:03:18,668 --> 00:03:19,977
but once you said labor rising, I

128
00:03:19,977 --> 00:03:21,327
was like, oh, yes, I remember this.

129
00:03:21,327 --> 00:03:23,817
Because I have found that a lot of times

130
00:03:23,877 --> 00:03:26,067
women that I find very interesting or that

131
00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,957
I feel like I would be like interested

132
00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,667
in talking to our Libra Risings.

133
00:03:29,914 --> 00:03:31,797
And in my birth chart, Libra is

134
00:03:31,797 --> 00:03:33,357
in my 11th house, which is the

135
00:03:33,357 --> 00:03:35,007
House of Friendships and Networks.

136
00:03:35,223 --> 00:03:36,996
And so I just feel like that's a

137
00:03:36,996 --> 00:03:39,043
lot of times where that resonates in

138
00:03:39,043 --> 00:03:40,393
my chart, that like kind of friend

139
00:03:40,393 --> 00:03:43,545
compatibility or networking compatibility.

140
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:46,365
But yeah, my sun sign is Aquarius.

141
00:03:46,365 --> 00:03:47,565
My moon is Leo.

142
00:03:47,847 --> 00:03:49,407
And my rising sign is Sagittarius.

143
00:03:49,407 --> 00:03:50,773
And then you can go

144
00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:51,523
deeper and deeper, right?

145
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,293
Like your Mercury sign, your Venus sign,

146
00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:54,955
your Jupiter, who's your chart ruler?

147
00:03:54,955 --> 00:03:56,035
What aspects do you have?

148
00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,693
There's so much more to it.

149
00:03:57,807 --> 00:03:59,937
And the more that you dive in, the

150
00:03:59,937 --> 00:04:01,557
more you can see how it's so nuanced.

151
00:04:01,557 --> 00:04:02,192
And I agree.

152
00:04:02,192 --> 00:04:03,902
If you just look at just your sun signs,

153
00:04:03,902 --> 00:04:05,852
I think it is basically meaningless,

154
00:04:06,218 --> 00:04:06,602
right?

155
00:04:06,602 --> 00:04:07,892
So, because it can, it could tie

156
00:04:07,892 --> 00:04:09,692
into like anyone or anything really,

157
00:04:09,692 --> 00:04:10,922
but yeah, when you kind of start

158
00:04:10,922 --> 00:04:11,252
yeah,

159
00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:13,706
peeling those or peeling those layers, you

160
00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:15,326
can kind of learn a bit a little bit more.

161
00:04:15,594 --> 00:04:16,854
I feel like a lot of times it's

162
00:04:16,854 --> 00:04:18,249
like I dunno if taboo's the right

163
00:04:18,249 --> 00:04:19,896
word, but growing up it's kinda

164
00:04:19,896 --> 00:04:21,810
like this weird thing, right?

165
00:04:21,815 --> 00:04:22,144
Mm-hmm.

166
00:04:22,270 --> 00:04:23,610
But I feel like more and more

167
00:04:23,610 --> 00:04:25,857
people are realizing it's healthy

168
00:04:25,857 --> 00:04:27,057
and it's good to learn about

169
00:04:27,057 --> 00:04:28,797
yourself in these different layers.

170
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:29,746
and it's kind of just.

171
00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,556
How the universe works.

172
00:04:32,556 --> 00:04:33,778
I feel like, you I dunno if that

173
00:04:33,778 --> 00:04:35,068
really makes sense, but I love that

174
00:04:35,068 --> 00:04:36,568
you come from like a background of

175
00:04:36,718 --> 00:04:39,718
therapy, psychology and astrology.

176
00:04:39,718 --> 00:04:41,608
So it's like tying them all together.

177
00:04:41,608 --> 00:04:43,258
So when you give someone advice, yeah.

178
00:04:43,258 --> 00:04:45,328
You're coming from multiple directions

179
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,585
of being able to, help them out

180
00:04:47,585 --> 00:04:49,593
or look intuitively in some ways.

181
00:04:49,882 --> 00:04:50,212
Yeah.

182
00:04:50,212 --> 00:04:51,142
That's my lens.

183
00:04:51,142 --> 00:04:53,311
And I think that's even from why I

184
00:04:53,311 --> 00:04:55,081
like diving so deep in astrology,

185
00:04:55,081 --> 00:04:56,602
the surface of just knowing the

186
00:04:56,602 --> 00:04:58,552
sunshine does not resonate with me.

187
00:04:58,552 --> 00:04:59,692
But I don't like being

188
00:04:59,692 --> 00:05:01,192
surface level on anything.

189
00:05:01,728 --> 00:05:03,996
So even from psychology, like I

190
00:05:03,996 --> 00:05:05,166
think a lot of times people are

191
00:05:05,166 --> 00:05:07,318
familiar with the Myers-Briggs test.

192
00:05:08,056 --> 00:05:08,146
Yes.

193
00:05:08,236 --> 00:05:08,506
Mm-hmm.

194
00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:12,464
And from my background, I do not like

195
00:05:12,464 --> 00:05:14,345
that test because It doesn't have very

196
00:05:14,345 --> 00:05:16,121
good, like validity and reliability.

197
00:05:16,121 --> 00:05:17,274
Like the test retest

198
00:05:17,274 --> 00:05:18,264
results are not very good.

199
00:05:18,264 --> 00:05:19,818
It's like not really the best test.

200
00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:21,648
And the people who made that test

201
00:05:21,708 --> 00:05:23,783
did it to try to prove their own

202
00:05:23,783 --> 00:05:25,370
hypothesis, which is not how you

203
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:27,590
wanna make personality assessments.

204
00:05:27,868 --> 00:05:30,743
And so I actually really got involved in,

205
00:05:30,777 --> 00:05:32,486
and like, went really deep on this other

206
00:05:32,486 --> 00:05:34,406
assessment called the Strengths Finder.

207
00:05:34,406 --> 00:05:35,366
Now sometimes it's called

208
00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:36,956
the Clifton Strengths Finder.

209
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,524
And that's actually where I became

210
00:05:38,524 --> 00:05:40,234
my certified life coach programming.

211
00:05:40,578 --> 00:05:43,055
and it has 34 different strengths

212
00:05:43,055 --> 00:05:45,273
and every strength is a positive

213
00:05:45,273 --> 00:05:46,983
and it's so much more nuanced.

214
00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,567
so, like I come from that lens

215
00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:50,971
too, trying to really deep to the

216
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:52,531
surface level is not enough for me.

217
00:05:52,531 --> 00:05:54,162
So being able to take all of

218
00:05:54,162 --> 00:05:55,662
the strengths that somebody

219
00:05:55,662 --> 00:05:57,432
has and put them into action.

220
00:05:57,432 --> 00:05:58,782
'cause we all have strengths,

221
00:05:58,782 --> 00:06:00,792
we all have our vulnerabilities.

222
00:06:01,059 --> 00:06:01,915
I think that's also part

223
00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:02,695
of astrology, right?

224
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:03,955
Like a lot of times we'll have.

225
00:06:04,236 --> 00:06:06,546
The tropes about a certain sign.

226
00:06:06,888 --> 00:06:08,328
like Aries for example, people are

227
00:06:08,328 --> 00:06:09,528
like, oh, they're so aggressive and

228
00:06:09,528 --> 00:06:11,445
hotheaded because we look at the

229
00:06:11,445 --> 00:06:13,215
negative, but the strength of Aries

230
00:06:13,215 --> 00:06:14,685
is like they're gonna take action

231
00:06:14,685 --> 00:06:16,099
and they're fight for good things.

232
00:06:16,099 --> 00:06:18,307
And like if you're in that higher

233
00:06:18,307 --> 00:06:19,897
realm of it, that's really good.

234
00:06:19,897 --> 00:06:21,283
I like to think of it as the

235
00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:22,933
balcony versus the basement.

236
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:23,533
Mm-hmm.

237
00:06:23,773 --> 00:06:25,303
And so trying to take that

238
00:06:25,303 --> 00:06:27,283
strengths approach and then also

239
00:06:27,283 --> 00:06:28,573
bringing in the trauma lens.

240
00:06:28,603 --> 00:06:30,703
So it's a little lot of multi-layers,

241
00:06:30,703 --> 00:06:32,469
but my Aquarius mind likes that.

242
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:32,679
Yes.

243
00:06:33,150 --> 00:06:34,230
I love that you say that because

244
00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:36,450
my daughter's in Aries and it was

245
00:06:36,450 --> 00:06:38,070
so funny because, so she was late,

246
00:06:38,070 --> 00:06:39,990
so she was like gonna be a Pisces.

247
00:06:39,990 --> 00:06:40,635
It was kinda like mm-hmm.

248
00:06:40,715 --> 00:06:41,490
A weird like line.

249
00:06:41,716 --> 00:06:43,486
But one of the things I always read

250
00:06:43,486 --> 00:06:45,256
was like, they're so strong-willed

251
00:06:45,256 --> 00:06:46,306
and I have friends that are Aries

252
00:06:46,306 --> 00:06:47,762
too, but they're strong-willed.

253
00:06:48,073 --> 00:06:49,142
And I was saying to my husband

254
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,522
the day, I was like, it's funny

255
00:06:50,522 --> 00:06:51,662
because the things that you like.

256
00:06:51,873 --> 00:06:53,073
Necessarily don't want them to

257
00:06:53,073 --> 00:06:54,033
be as a toddler, but the things

258
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:55,377
you're kind of like, okay, let's

259
00:06:55,454 --> 00:06:56,774
step back, let's take a breath.

260
00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:58,814
You want those things for when

261
00:06:58,814 --> 00:07:00,280
they're older, use your voice.

262
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:00,340
Yeah.

263
00:07:00,370 --> 00:07:01,450
Be strong.

264
00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:02,770
Like, don't back down from

265
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,574
people that set your boundaries.

266
00:07:04,589 --> 00:07:05,902
so I'm like, all the things that she's

267
00:07:05,902 --> 00:07:07,492
like testing right now, like boundaries.

268
00:07:07,492 --> 00:07:08,632
I'm like, when she's older,

269
00:07:08,632 --> 00:07:10,072
these are gonna be so powerful.

270
00:07:10,091 --> 00:07:11,561
she's gonna be so strong-willed

271
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,216
in like that good way of she's

272
00:07:13,216 --> 00:07:14,799
gonna hold strong her values and

273
00:07:14,807 --> 00:07:16,517
whatever that looks like for her.

274
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:17,543
so I love that you say that

275
00:07:17,543 --> 00:07:19,073
because it really is the angle

276
00:07:19,073 --> 00:07:20,213
of how you're looking at it.

277
00:07:20,466 --> 00:07:21,306
Yeah.

278
00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:23,196
And she's lucky to have you as

279
00:07:23,196 --> 00:07:24,816
her mom to teach her boundaries

280
00:07:24,816 --> 00:07:25,536
in such a healthy way.

281
00:07:25,536 --> 00:07:26,774
'cause obviously that's such a big part

282
00:07:26,774 --> 00:07:29,437
of what you teach in your content too.

283
00:07:29,677 --> 00:07:31,087
Yeah, definitely.

284
00:07:31,092 --> 00:07:31,102
Yeah.

285
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:31,390
Yeah.

286
00:07:31,390 --> 00:07:32,714
and I'm working and I'm learning

287
00:07:32,774 --> 00:07:34,412
myself as a, Recovering people.

288
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,372
Pleaser as well.

289
00:07:35,402 --> 00:07:35,882
Mm-hmm.

290
00:07:35,973 --> 00:07:38,013
when people come to you for, whether it's

291
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:39,919
tear reading or therapy, like what do

292
00:07:39,919 --> 00:07:41,509
you think most people come to you for?

293
00:07:41,539 --> 00:07:43,750
Like is it love, is it, soul?

294
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:44,410
Like, I know we were talking

295
00:07:44,410 --> 00:07:45,700
before about like soulmates,

296
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,370
like questions about career life.

297
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:49,570
What do you think most

298
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:50,590
people come to you for?

299
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:53,380
So my most popular is love.

300
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:55,120
That also I think tends to

301
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,470
just be, because that's how

302
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:58,300
TikTok pushes out, right?

303
00:07:58,300 --> 00:07:58,360
Yeah.

304
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:01,835
Um, but a lot of times my most recurring

305
00:08:01,835 --> 00:08:03,810
clients are gonna be people who

306
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:05,793
actually do want to dive in deeper.

307
00:08:05,793 --> 00:08:07,653
So we'll work on all the areas of

308
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,448
their life and really like, bring

309
00:08:09,484 --> 00:08:12,544
in the astrology and look at, maybe.

310
00:08:12,887 --> 00:08:13,577
If they're trying to make a

311
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,677
big decision or even manifest

312
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:17,176
sometimes with some clients, I'll

313
00:08:17,176 --> 00:08:19,126
also work on tapping with them.

314
00:08:19,126 --> 00:08:19,726
I don't know if you're

315
00:08:19,726 --> 00:08:21,289
familiar with a FT tapping.

316
00:08:21,424 --> 00:08:22,947
Basically it's, emotional

317
00:08:22,947 --> 00:08:24,117
freedom technique where you

318
00:08:24,117 --> 00:08:26,018
can kind of rewire some of the

319
00:08:26,018 --> 00:08:27,518
traumatic beliefs that you've had.

320
00:08:27,518 --> 00:08:29,378
It's part of like somatic therapy work.

321
00:08:29,706 --> 00:08:30,578
and so that's something that I

322
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:31,868
will sometimes work on with people.

323
00:08:31,868 --> 00:08:33,608
Again, not in like as a

324
00:08:33,608 --> 00:08:34,988
therapist, but more as a coach.

325
00:08:35,157 --> 00:08:36,254
that's something that I will also

326
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:37,994
work on with people sometimes to just

327
00:08:37,994 --> 00:08:40,601
kind of rewire their and help them as

328
00:08:40,601 --> 00:08:42,311
they're trying to kind of take those

329
00:08:42,371 --> 00:08:44,441
traumatic experiences and then like.

330
00:08:44,716 --> 00:08:46,186
Put them into believing that that

331
00:08:46,186 --> 00:08:47,986
doesn't have to be their story forever,

332
00:08:48,556 --> 00:08:49,786
because that can be really hard.

333
00:08:49,817 --> 00:08:51,947
But yes, definitely lots about love.

334
00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:53,645
is this person my soulmate?

335
00:08:53,764 --> 00:08:55,550
is this person coming back?

336
00:08:55,550 --> 00:08:56,845
Things like that, that's common

337
00:08:56,845 --> 00:08:57,985
question that people have.

338
00:08:57,985 --> 00:08:59,304
I think especially because on if

339
00:08:59,304 --> 00:09:00,684
somebody has found me on TikTok, they've

340
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:02,364
likely seen other tarot readings on

341
00:09:02,364 --> 00:09:04,728
TikTok also, and those are very common

342
00:09:04,728 --> 00:09:06,910
readings that come up on people's fys.

343
00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:09,370
And despite what a lot of other

344
00:09:09,370 --> 00:09:11,500
readers will say, I don't think that

345
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,060
just because a video comes up on your

346
00:09:13,060 --> 00:09:14,721
FYP, that that means it's for you.

347
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:15,841
I think that's actually kind of

348
00:09:15,841 --> 00:09:17,899
spiritually manipulative because.

349
00:09:18,137 --> 00:09:20,033
I'm sure when you are scrolling on your

350
00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:21,713
FYP, there's times that you get a video

351
00:09:21,713 --> 00:09:23,153
and you're like, I don't wanna watch that.

352
00:09:23,153 --> 00:09:24,593
And you just scroll by.

353
00:09:24,806 --> 00:09:26,153
Not every video that's on

354
00:09:26,153 --> 00:09:28,253
your FYP is actually for you.

355
00:09:28,253 --> 00:09:30,353
The algorithm's constantly testing it.

356
00:09:30,464 --> 00:09:31,809
And the same thing is true for

357
00:09:32,286 --> 00:09:33,756
or any other spiritual message.

358
00:09:33,756 --> 00:09:35,016
You have to use your discernment.

359
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:35,856
And that's another big thing

360
00:09:35,856 --> 00:09:37,326
that I like to teach on that

361
00:09:37,624 --> 00:09:38,794
we gotta learn our discernment.

362
00:09:38,794 --> 00:09:38,854
Yeah.

363
00:09:39,124 --> 00:09:40,504
It's not like, yeah, if you're like

364
00:09:40,504 --> 00:09:41,674
happily married, you see a video that's

365
00:09:41,674 --> 00:09:42,934
like break up with him, you're like,

366
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:44,524
oh my gosh, I gotta break up with him.

367
00:09:44,524 --> 00:09:46,269
It's like, look at your own situation.

368
00:09:46,269 --> 00:09:46,989
Does that apply?

369
00:09:47,019 --> 00:09:47,409
No.

370
00:09:47,409 --> 00:09:47,619
Okay.

371
00:09:47,619 --> 00:09:49,059
Scroll or vice versa.

372
00:09:49,059 --> 00:09:49,069
Exactly.

373
00:09:49,069 --> 00:09:50,324
If you're looking for 11, you're like.

374
00:09:50,774 --> 00:09:52,094
it's an ex, you're like, oh my gosh.

375
00:09:52,094 --> 00:09:53,414
Well, my ex was toxic, but it

376
00:09:53,414 --> 00:09:55,145
says My, I'll take everything you

377
00:09:55,145 --> 00:09:57,091
see online with, grain of salt.

378
00:09:57,091 --> 00:09:58,561
Because I feel like, yeah, I just

379
00:09:58,561 --> 00:10:00,061
made a video the day that was like,

380
00:10:00,061 --> 00:10:01,321
not everything you see is made

381
00:10:01,321 --> 00:10:02,955
for you If watching something and

382
00:10:02,955 --> 00:10:04,035
you're like, what do they call it?

383
00:10:04,035 --> 00:10:05,025
The black bean theory?

384
00:10:05,055 --> 00:10:06,330
Like if you watch something like Yes.

385
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:06,760
Uh, be

386
00:10:06,765 --> 00:10:07,095
soup.

387
00:10:07,275 --> 00:10:08,115
The bean soup theory.

388
00:10:08,115 --> 00:10:08,295
Yeah.

389
00:10:08,295 --> 00:10:09,975
And you're like, I am allergic to beans.

390
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,445
Well, this video's not for you.

391
00:10:11,535 --> 00:10:11,775
Exactly.

392
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,665
Or apply to something else.

393
00:10:13,907 --> 00:10:15,167
yeah, I think we live in the day and

394
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,150
age where it's like you feel like

395
00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:17,860
they have to comment on every single

396
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:19,840
thing, even if it doesn't necessarily

397
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,915
apply or have nothing to do with them.

398
00:10:21,975 --> 00:10:22,665
And that's okay.

399
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:24,596
And then the algorithm, because you did

400
00:10:24,596 --> 00:10:26,906
comment on it, thinks that it is for you.

401
00:10:27,116 --> 00:10:28,886
So then you keep getting more of it and

402
00:10:28,886 --> 00:10:31,046
then you get even more in like the d Lulu.

403
00:10:31,226 --> 00:10:33,596
So yeah, I think that is something

404
00:10:33,596 --> 00:10:34,646
I do try to help people with.

405
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:35,996
I try to be really specific.

406
00:10:35,996 --> 00:10:37,166
And then of course if somebody's getting

407
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:38,606
a personal reading, then you know it's

408
00:10:38,606 --> 00:10:41,756
for you, it's only your energy and your

409
00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:43,766
spirit team's energy and no one else.

410
00:10:43,766 --> 00:10:44,396
So, yeah.

411
00:10:44,396 --> 00:10:45,146
That's very helpful.

412
00:10:45,176 --> 00:10:47,337
Do you do like in person, like you

413
00:10:47,337 --> 00:10:48,867
do them through social media, so if

414
00:10:48,867 --> 00:10:50,668
someone, if someone's hiring you to do

415
00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:52,369
a tarot reading, you do like digital?

416
00:10:52,369 --> 00:10:54,601
Do you do in person, do you find they're

417
00:10:54,721 --> 00:10:56,591
the same or different in that way?

418
00:10:57,301 --> 00:10:59,551
I do it all digitally because that

419
00:10:59,551 --> 00:11:00,631
was something that I found was

420
00:11:00,631 --> 00:11:02,911
really needed for my own health.

421
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:05,047
I previously was diagnosed with PTSD

422
00:11:05,185 --> 00:11:07,570
and something that I found in terms

423
00:11:07,570 --> 00:11:09,520
of like reclaiming myself was being

424
00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:11,620
able to just like, be fully free and

425
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,210
setting my schedule and operating when

426
00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,920
like my nervous system was regulated.

427
00:11:15,206 --> 00:11:17,366
And also in operating, when I feel

428
00:11:17,366 --> 00:11:20,004
spiritually attuned, I'm not, you

429
00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:22,044
know, unable to be like if there's

430
00:11:22,044 --> 00:11:23,874
certain astrological transits that are

431
00:11:23,874 --> 00:11:25,644
happening sometimes that makes me be

432
00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:27,534
like, oh my God, I can tap in so easily.

433
00:11:27,534 --> 00:11:29,124
And sometimes I'm like, this is a fog I'm

434
00:11:29,124 --> 00:11:30,654
not gonna read for somebody right now.

435
00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:32,957
So I don't like to schedule people because

436
00:11:32,957 --> 00:11:34,877
I like to be able to read for people when

437
00:11:34,877 --> 00:11:37,577
I'm like, I am in my power right now.

438
00:11:37,577 --> 00:11:38,267
Let's go.

439
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:40,278
And so people will purchase something

440
00:11:40,278 --> 00:11:41,778
from me on my website, fill out

441
00:11:41,778 --> 00:11:43,038
their questions and everything.

442
00:11:43,284 --> 00:11:45,349
And then I can just set the exact ambiance

443
00:11:45,349 --> 00:11:47,629
that I need for myself and then record

444
00:11:47,629 --> 00:11:49,129
it, and then I send them a link that they

445
00:11:49,129 --> 00:11:50,599
can watch as many times as they want.

446
00:11:50,599 --> 00:11:51,469
So I think a lot of times people

447
00:11:51,469 --> 00:11:52,879
like that because then they can

448
00:11:53,119 --> 00:11:55,054
sit with it, they can pause,

449
00:11:55,287 --> 00:11:56,914
they can reflect on the message.

450
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:00,002
I just finished doing a bunch of 2026,

451
00:12:00,054 --> 00:12:02,064
year ahead readings, and those are

452
00:12:02,064 --> 00:12:04,273
like 90 minutes of recorded video.

453
00:12:04,368 --> 00:12:07,028
It's too much to take in in one sitting.

454
00:12:07,058 --> 00:12:07,478
Yes.

455
00:12:07,538 --> 00:12:08,789
And everything.

456
00:12:08,789 --> 00:12:10,311
So I'm like, pause it here and

457
00:12:10,311 --> 00:12:11,841
then take notes for the next part.

458
00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:13,611
And yeah, so that's how I

459
00:12:13,611 --> 00:12:14,991
like to personally do it.

460
00:12:15,090 --> 00:12:17,154
And then I can also make sure that I'm

461
00:12:17,214 --> 00:12:18,924
really like tapping into their energy.

462
00:12:18,924 --> 00:12:20,064
And I do a lot of energetic

463
00:12:20,064 --> 00:12:21,204
cleansing in my own space.

464
00:12:21,204 --> 00:12:23,064
I always have crystal grids and,

465
00:12:23,228 --> 00:12:25,413
you know, stuff like that to tap in.

466
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:25,423
Yeah.

467
00:12:25,616 --> 00:12:25,706
Mm-hmm.

468
00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:26,606
Oh, I love that.

469
00:12:26,606 --> 00:12:26,876
Yeah.

470
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:28,339
I feel like that's really powerful.

471
00:12:28,566 --> 00:12:29,016
it's true.

472
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,756
Like if you do like an in-person reading,

473
00:12:30,756 --> 00:12:31,716
I mean, I feel like the same about

474
00:12:31,716 --> 00:12:33,096
like a therapy session or something.

475
00:12:33,197 --> 00:12:34,007
Sometimes you're like, wait,

476
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,237
what did they say about this?

477
00:12:35,597 --> 00:12:35,747
Yes.

478
00:12:35,807 --> 00:12:36,107
You know?

479
00:12:36,112 --> 00:12:36,887
So I feel like that's really

480
00:12:36,887 --> 00:12:38,290
good about being able to watch

481
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,700
it and like pick it apart and be

482
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:41,050
like, okay, what does this mean?

483
00:12:41,190 --> 00:12:42,960
How can I tie this to my own life?

484
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,340
How does this apply?

485
00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:45,825
And, answering those questions,

486
00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:46,635
you know, for yourself too.

487
00:12:47,109 --> 00:12:47,859
Exactly.

488
00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:49,809
And sometimes I also go live on TikTok

489
00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:52,389
and we'll do readings live for people.

490
00:12:52,479 --> 00:12:54,244
And I've had people who have

491
00:12:54,244 --> 00:12:56,644
gotten live readings and do like

492
00:12:56,644 --> 00:12:57,784
through my website readings.

493
00:12:57,895 --> 00:12:59,845
And a lot of times people like kind

494
00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:01,731
of for the readings to just get

495
00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:02,751
something that they need a quicker

496
00:13:02,751 --> 00:13:04,371
answer on or something short.

497
00:13:04,371 --> 00:13:05,763
Or maybe just like, what does Spirit wanna

498
00:13:05,763 --> 00:13:08,066
tell them right in that moment versus

499
00:13:08,156 --> 00:13:10,136
something deeper like trying to make

500
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:12,862
bigger decisions or really understanding

501
00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,722
of a whole area of their life.

502
00:13:14,722 --> 00:13:15,742
Or they want me to bring in the

503
00:13:15,742 --> 00:13:17,512
astrology, I gotta, I can't do that

504
00:13:17,512 --> 00:13:19,460
like in the five minutes on live.

505
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,553
So yeah, I have to study their charts.

506
00:13:21,553 --> 00:13:22,894
So, that's kind of how people

507
00:13:22,894 --> 00:13:23,944
like to separate it too.

508
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:24,616
Yeah.

509
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:26,077
I know you said you like started to

510
00:13:26,077 --> 00:13:27,869
study it, what kind of like led you

511
00:13:27,989 --> 00:13:30,924
down this path how did you start kind of

512
00:13:31,051 --> 00:13:32,851
getting in tune, I guess with everything

513
00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:34,554
and, being able to do these readings?

514
00:13:34,737 --> 00:13:37,047
So I started with tarot.

515
00:13:37,107 --> 00:13:40,142
I was on a trip, this actually

516
00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:42,692
was the trip that my ex-husband

517
00:13:42,692 --> 00:13:44,132
and I decided to separate on.

518
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:46,202
We were on our five-year anniversary trip

519
00:13:46,232 --> 00:13:48,602
and on that trip we decided we were going

520
00:13:48,602 --> 00:13:50,522
to separate and it was very amicable,

521
00:13:50,522 --> 00:13:52,772
but we were in a very spiritual place.

522
00:13:52,772 --> 00:13:55,505
We were in Sedona, Arizona, and I

523
00:13:55,505 --> 00:13:57,575
already had, as part of the trip,

524
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,975
scheduled a tarot reading with somebody.

525
00:14:00,077 --> 00:14:02,327
And it was my first reading with

526
00:14:02,327 --> 00:14:04,067
somebody who I truly felt was like

527
00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:07,154
a legit professional, actually tarot

528
00:14:07,154 --> 00:14:09,168
reader and had psychic abilities.

529
00:14:09,168 --> 00:14:11,028
And the first card of my reading was

530
00:14:11,028 --> 00:14:13,278
the tower card, which if you or anyone

531
00:14:13,278 --> 00:14:15,354
listening is familiar tarot tends to be

532
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,454
the card people are the most terrified of.

533
00:14:17,477 --> 00:14:18,381
And that was the start

534
00:14:18,381 --> 00:14:19,371
of my tarot journey.

535
00:14:19,839 --> 00:14:20,770
but it was so on point.

536
00:14:20,770 --> 00:14:22,060
It was literally like my whole life

537
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:23,890
was about to be up peeved, like an

538
00:14:23,890 --> 00:14:26,026
upheaval of my life  But I was gonna

539
00:14:26,026 --> 00:14:28,281
come out, in the end in a better way.

540
00:14:28,797 --> 00:14:30,526
yeah, that kind of got me started.

541
00:14:30,526 --> 00:14:32,056
And then that tarot reader

542
00:14:32,476 --> 00:14:34,486
encouraged me to get this one

543
00:14:34,486 --> 00:14:36,316
app called the Golden Tarot.

544
00:14:36,316 --> 00:14:36,826
It's free.

545
00:14:36,826 --> 00:14:38,446
I recommended it to people as well.

546
00:14:38,686 --> 00:14:40,126
' cause that helped me to just pull

547
00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:41,416
a card every day and start learning

548
00:14:41,476 --> 00:14:43,036
the cards, just even through the app.

549
00:14:43,302 --> 00:14:44,742
Then somebody gifted me a deck

550
00:14:44,742 --> 00:14:45,972
and I started playing with that.

551
00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:47,922
It all kind of gradually happened.

552
00:14:47,989 --> 00:14:51,049
after my divorce, I got into another

553
00:14:51,139 --> 00:14:52,789
relationship of some time later

554
00:14:52,789 --> 00:14:54,139
and that turned out unfortunately

555
00:14:54,139 --> 00:14:55,872
to be an abusive relationship.

556
00:14:55,939 --> 00:14:58,237
And during that time I was working

557
00:14:58,237 --> 00:15:00,307
with a spiritual coach who helped

558
00:15:00,307 --> 00:15:02,165
me a lot and I was also doing

559
00:15:02,165 --> 00:15:04,017
therapy and sorts of other things.

560
00:15:04,132 --> 00:15:05,895
But I was finding how a lot of

561
00:15:05,895 --> 00:15:07,875
times, like the truth that I

562
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:09,737
thought because I was being gaslit.

563
00:15:10,002 --> 00:15:11,807
I was getting so conflicted in like

564
00:15:11,807 --> 00:15:13,847
my intuitive space versus what was

565
00:15:13,847 --> 00:15:16,142
real and down my intuition a lot.

566
00:15:16,142 --> 00:15:18,813
So then when I finally ended that

567
00:15:18,813 --> 00:15:20,313
relationship and went through the healing

568
00:15:20,313 --> 00:15:23,344
of that, and again, like lots of not just

569
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:27,063
work but lots of therapy, somatic therapy,

570
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:28,616
working with like, trauma-informed

571
00:15:28,616 --> 00:15:30,907
yoga instructor, I was doing sound

572
00:15:30,907 --> 00:15:32,287
bath healing, like so many different

573
00:15:32,287 --> 00:15:34,297
modalities really to come back to myself.

574
00:15:34,656 --> 00:15:36,636
And that's when I was like, okay.

575
00:15:36,881 --> 00:15:38,741
Part of why I felt so bad in that

576
00:15:38,741 --> 00:15:40,001
relationship was 'cause I was

577
00:15:40,001 --> 00:15:41,681
shutting down my own intuition.

578
00:15:41,809 --> 00:15:43,725
And so as I to open it back up and

579
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:45,889
I, even relocated to somewhere that I

580
00:15:45,889 --> 00:15:47,899
could just focus on having my own piece

581
00:15:47,899 --> 00:15:49,939
and having nervous system regulation.

582
00:15:50,138 --> 00:15:52,238
I felt like things were just unlocking.

583
00:15:52,448 --> 00:15:54,248
And that's when I really started to

584
00:15:54,248 --> 00:15:56,318
dive super, super deep into tarot.

585
00:15:56,318 --> 00:15:57,368
And that's when I was like, okay, I'm

586
00:15:57,368 --> 00:15:59,098
ready to, do this for other people

587
00:15:59,098 --> 00:16:01,249
now too, after I felt like I had gone

588
00:16:01,249 --> 00:16:02,779
through my own work, and I think that's

589
00:16:02,779 --> 00:16:04,909
really important when anyone is working

590
00:16:04,909 --> 00:16:07,309
with a coach or someone that's a healer

591
00:16:07,309 --> 00:16:09,196
or something to understand what have

592
00:16:09,196 --> 00:16:10,726
they already gone through, what healing

593
00:16:10,726 --> 00:16:13,066
have they done before you just buy

594
00:16:13,066 --> 00:16:15,976
into like them coaching or guiding you.

595
00:16:16,156 --> 00:16:16,636
Yeah.

596
00:16:16,666 --> 00:16:18,666
No, I think that's a great, point because

597
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:20,284
you want someone that's gone through

598
00:16:20,284 --> 00:16:22,415
that similar like healing journey or like

599
00:16:22,415 --> 00:16:25,396
understanding of it through that lens

600
00:16:25,396 --> 00:16:26,986
because if someone's just coming to you

601
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,423
just to like sell you or make a dollar

602
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:31,222
off you or something, then it could be

603
00:16:31,442 --> 00:16:33,261
perceived as, I don't know, like not.

604
00:16:33,805 --> 00:16:35,365
Authentic or something, you know?

605
00:16:35,589 --> 00:16:36,309
Yeah.

606
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:37,509
And like, I don't think that they

607
00:16:37,509 --> 00:16:38,649
necessarily have to have gone through

608
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:40,269
all the same problems or anything.

609
00:16:40,269 --> 00:16:41,895
But for example, if somebody was

610
00:16:41,895 --> 00:16:43,185
gonna try to find a therapist

611
00:16:43,185 --> 00:16:44,595
and their therapist isn't also in

612
00:16:44,595 --> 00:16:46,725
therapy, like that's a huge red flag.

613
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:47,914
Therapists are supposed

614
00:16:47,914 --> 00:16:48,964
to also be in therapy.

615
00:16:49,294 --> 00:16:50,284
Like we get taught that

616
00:16:50,284 --> 00:16:51,574
in school for sure.

617
00:16:51,574 --> 00:16:52,626
So just things like that.

618
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:54,006
If they're not also doing the work

619
00:16:54,006 --> 00:16:55,910
on themselves, they're probably not

620
00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:58,776
in a space to be guiding others, so.

621
00:16:59,076 --> 00:16:59,376
Yeah.

622
00:16:59,376 --> 00:16:59,386
Yeah.

623
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:00,060
Yeah.

624
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:00,360
Okay.

625
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:01,230
That's so interesting.

626
00:17:01,627 --> 00:17:03,399
so I feel like there's so many

627
00:17:03,399 --> 00:17:04,359
different directions we can go

628
00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:05,834
right now, so I'm like, okay.

629
00:17:05,954 --> 00:17:08,870
I know you talked about your own divorce.

630
00:17:08,875 --> 00:17:09,035
Mm-hmm.

631
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:10,700
And you talked about how that's kind of

632
00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:12,471
like taught you a lot about yourself and

633
00:17:12,471 --> 00:17:14,061
that kinda led you down this journey.

634
00:17:14,219 --> 00:17:15,962
So what would you say your own divorce

635
00:17:15,962 --> 00:17:17,988
taught you about love and partnership

636
00:17:17,988 --> 00:17:20,747
and then how would, you give advice now?

637
00:17:20,747 --> 00:17:20,837
Mm-hmm.

638
00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:22,908
Do people come to you and ask like.

639
00:17:23,298 --> 00:17:24,618
How do you kinda use that for

640
00:17:24,618 --> 00:17:25,998
your advice, if that makes sense?

641
00:17:25,998 --> 00:17:27,421
Like, I know you had kind of talked

642
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,496
about that as kinda like your

643
00:17:28,496 --> 00:17:30,988
guiding point to your next stage.

644
00:17:31,434 --> 00:17:33,804
Yeah, so it's interesting because

645
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,609
my marriage and divorce and then

646
00:17:36,939 --> 00:17:38,799
another very big relationship.

647
00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:40,210
Those aren't the only two relationships

648
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:41,320
I've ever had in my life, but they're

649
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,718
two very prominent relationships.

650
00:17:43,825 --> 00:17:47,406
And my marriage ended extremely amicably.

651
00:17:47,557 --> 00:17:49,646
we ended up, essentially, I had

652
00:17:49,646 --> 00:17:52,046
miscarried three times and my husband

653
00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:53,666
decided he didn't wanna have kids

654
00:17:53,666 --> 00:17:56,276
anymore and I did still wanna have kids.

655
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:59,074
And so we decided we couldn't continue.

656
00:17:59,074 --> 00:18:01,066
And so we ended up parting ways, but

657
00:18:01,074 --> 00:18:02,934
I was able to take a lot of things

658
00:18:02,934 --> 00:18:05,934
from that relationship and know what

659
00:18:05,934 --> 00:18:07,434
I would want in future partners.

660
00:18:07,464 --> 00:18:08,184
'cause there were lots of

661
00:18:08,184 --> 00:18:08,977
really beautiful things.

662
00:18:08,977 --> 00:18:10,957
We were really good partners in many ways.

663
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,805
And then the experience of

664
00:18:12,805 --> 00:18:14,425
the grief and how that can.

665
00:18:14,623 --> 00:18:16,881
You know, that actually very common that

666
00:18:16,881 --> 00:18:18,711
when people lose a child or something

667
00:18:18,711 --> 00:18:20,871
like that, that is a very common time

668
00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:23,211
that people end up getting divorced.

669
00:18:23,211 --> 00:18:24,591
Unfortunately, it's really sad.

670
00:18:24,823 --> 00:18:26,040
that other relationship that I had

671
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,125
been in, I felt like I had manifested

672
00:18:28,215 --> 00:18:29,295
him because I was working a lot of

673
00:18:29,295 --> 00:18:31,965
manifestation and I was working through

674
00:18:31,965 --> 00:18:34,303
things of like, okay, spirit, I want

675
00:18:34,303 --> 00:18:35,473
this and this and this and this.

676
00:18:35,473 --> 00:18:36,943
And the rest can basically be the

677
00:18:36,943 --> 00:18:39,477
same as like my, ex or whatever.

678
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,709
And then when I met the second person,

679
00:18:41,845 --> 00:18:43,795
he and my ex-husband actually had

680
00:18:43,795 --> 00:18:45,055
the exact same birthday and I just

681
00:18:45,055 --> 00:18:46,915
thought that was like a sign, right?

682
00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:47,300
This

683
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:47,540
is it.

684
00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:47,820
Yeah.

685
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:48,340
Yes.

686
00:18:48,595 --> 00:18:49,885
And there were so many other

687
00:18:49,885 --> 00:18:50,875
things, and then there were certain

688
00:18:50,875 --> 00:18:51,985
things I was like, well, I guess I

689
00:18:51,985 --> 00:18:53,995
wasn't specific enough about that.

690
00:18:53,995 --> 00:18:56,045
Like he was working on himself, but

691
00:18:56,045 --> 00:18:58,085
there were things that were not healthy.

692
00:18:58,090 --> 00:18:58,340
Mm-hmm.

693
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:01,912
And I think it taught me about how there

694
00:19:01,912 --> 00:19:03,832
is the ability to manifest that people

695
00:19:03,832 --> 00:19:05,482
come into your life for specific reasons.

696
00:19:05,482 --> 00:19:07,312
You can ask spirit for certain

697
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,482
things and people will come in,

698
00:19:08,796 --> 00:19:09,772
but that doesn't mean that they're

699
00:19:09,772 --> 00:19:11,422
supposed to be your forever person.

700
00:19:11,677 --> 00:19:13,174
And also, I would say that

701
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:15,086
ending a relationship doesn't

702
00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:16,616
mean it's a failed relationship.

703
00:19:16,777 --> 00:19:18,637
my marriage did not last for the

704
00:19:18,637 --> 00:19:20,257
entirety of my life, even though I

705
00:19:20,257 --> 00:19:21,427
definitely thought that it would.

706
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:22,357
I never thought I would be

707
00:19:22,357 --> 00:19:24,097
somebody who would get divorced or

708
00:19:24,097 --> 00:19:26,413
anything like that, but it ended.

709
00:19:26,413 --> 00:19:27,493
But I wouldn't call my

710
00:19:27,493 --> 00:19:28,963
relationship a failure.

711
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:29,803
I still think it was

712
00:19:29,803 --> 00:19:31,213
actually very successful.

713
00:19:31,345 --> 00:19:34,285
And I think that that framework is also

714
00:19:34,285 --> 00:19:35,905
really helpful, especially as I'm working

715
00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:38,666
with people who are trying to, you know,

716
00:19:38,666 --> 00:19:40,496
they wanna get towards a life partner.

717
00:19:40,603 --> 00:19:42,752
And realizing that you can be in

718
00:19:42,752 --> 00:19:44,852
relationships that you need to

719
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:46,772
be in, in order to learn how to

720
00:19:46,772 --> 00:19:48,392
become the person that you want

721
00:19:48,392 --> 00:19:50,522
to be in your life partnership.

722
00:19:50,699 --> 00:19:52,139
maybe if you were to meet.

723
00:19:52,303 --> 00:19:53,883
The person that you think would

724
00:19:53,883 --> 00:19:56,364
be for you in your twenties.

725
00:19:56,468 --> 00:19:57,742
You haven't gone through enough

726
00:19:57,742 --> 00:19:58,882
things that you needed to go

727
00:19:58,882 --> 00:20:00,292
through, you didn't learn enough yet.

728
00:20:00,292 --> 00:20:02,002
So then that relationship

729
00:20:02,002 --> 00:20:03,562
would fail, so to speak.

730
00:20:03,562 --> 00:20:05,617
Or not last the lifetime, but if you

731
00:20:05,617 --> 00:20:07,267
meet them when you're in your thirties

732
00:20:07,267 --> 00:20:09,067
because you had other experiences with

733
00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:11,379
other people, it is gonna work out.

734
00:20:11,598 --> 00:20:12,738
sometimes I think people think of

735
00:20:12,738 --> 00:20:14,478
that as like right person, wrong time.

736
00:20:14,478 --> 00:20:15,678
But I think it's like both people

737
00:20:15,678 --> 00:20:17,367
are not the right people at the time.

738
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:18,472
It's wrong person, wrong time.

739
00:20:18,562 --> 00:20:18,622
Yeah.

740
00:20:19,132 --> 00:20:20,932
You need the timing to be right.

741
00:20:20,932 --> 00:20:22,252
And so, yeah, I think it's just

742
00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:23,751
this idea of Relationships can

743
00:20:23,751 --> 00:20:25,251
end and still be successful.

744
00:20:25,251 --> 00:20:26,631
I try to think about it also

745
00:20:26,631 --> 00:20:28,787
from like a job standpoint.

746
00:20:29,035 --> 00:20:31,785
A lot of times leave a job because we

747
00:20:31,785 --> 00:20:33,825
got everything we needed from that job

748
00:20:33,887 --> 00:20:35,652
and now we're ready for the next thing.

749
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:36,972
And it wasn't because we failed at

750
00:20:36,972 --> 00:20:38,652
that job, it was actually because we

751
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,714
reached the pinnacle of success and

752
00:20:40,714 --> 00:20:41,794
now it's time for something else.

753
00:20:41,794 --> 00:20:43,594
And we wouldn't be like, oh, you failed

754
00:20:43,594 --> 00:20:46,324
because you got another job that paid

755
00:20:46,324 --> 00:20:47,734
you more money and gave you better

756
00:20:47,734 --> 00:20:49,534
hours and was more fulfilling for you.

757
00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:51,449
That's not a failure that you left.

758
00:20:51,519 --> 00:20:53,009
And so I think if you can approach

759
00:20:53,009 --> 00:20:54,539
relationships in that same way of

760
00:20:54,539 --> 00:20:56,679
like sometimes the relationship is

761
00:20:56,679 --> 00:20:58,324
no longer meeting where we're at.

762
00:20:58,764 --> 00:21:00,752
Hmm, and it could still be successful,

763
00:21:00,810 --> 00:21:03,014
but now you have to leave that or it

764
00:21:03,014 --> 00:21:04,634
ends for whatever reason, so that you

765
00:21:04,634 --> 00:21:06,194
can go to the next thing that's actually

766
00:21:06,194 --> 00:21:08,454
even better and is gonna be more aligned

767
00:21:08,454 --> 00:21:10,914
for your future and more fulfilling to

768
00:21:10,914 --> 00:21:12,864
you and your purpose in the long run.

769
00:21:13,085 --> 00:21:13,775
I love that.

770
00:21:13,775 --> 00:21:15,365
That's like healing in itself that you

771
00:21:15,365 --> 00:21:16,973
said that because I feel like it's so much

772
00:21:16,973 --> 00:21:18,413
easier for us to look back and be like, oh

773
00:21:18,413 --> 00:21:20,243
yeah, that relationship didn't serve me.

774
00:21:20,464 --> 00:21:21,874
there was someone that I dated like in

775
00:21:21,874 --> 00:21:23,400
college and I remember thinking like,

776
00:21:23,430 --> 00:21:25,410
oh, like this is the one I could go

777
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,757
into like a long story, but looking

778
00:21:27,757 --> 00:21:29,737
at how that ended and what happened,

779
00:21:30,036 --> 00:21:32,166
again, kind go into more detail,

780
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:34,236
but I won't for privacy reasons.

781
00:21:34,266 --> 00:21:35,879
But he did not treat me great.

782
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,322
but looking back, I'm like, if I stayed,

783
00:21:38,322 --> 00:21:40,362
I would've been stuck in the same like

784
00:21:40,362 --> 00:21:43,347
hoopla of like small town where I lived.

785
00:21:43,545 --> 00:21:44,355
probably just trying to

786
00:21:44,355 --> 00:21:45,585
please him my whole life.

787
00:21:45,585 --> 00:21:46,485
Like, oh, do this.

788
00:21:46,773 --> 00:21:48,466
I don't think I would've done any the

789
00:21:48,526 --> 00:21:50,624
career things I've done because I would've

790
00:21:50,624 --> 00:21:53,757
been so like stuck in that mind frame.

791
00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:56,261
And then even like my husband, I feel like

792
00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:58,001
you're talking about different people.

793
00:21:58,331 --> 00:21:59,411
If you look at us, when we

794
00:21:59,411 --> 00:22:01,361
started dating, we were completely

795
00:22:01,361 --> 00:22:02,381
different people, obviously.

796
00:22:02,381 --> 00:22:03,431
Like at the core, I think we were

797
00:22:03,431 --> 00:22:05,625
the same, but we've changed so much

798
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:08,070
about our personal life, our morals,

799
00:22:08,070 --> 00:22:09,901
our belief, so many different things.

800
00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:12,091
And I think the hardest or most

801
00:22:12,091 --> 00:22:13,831
challenging points in our relationship

802
00:22:14,131 --> 00:22:16,471
or during those changes because like one

803
00:22:16,471 --> 00:22:18,061
person might change in one direction, one

804
00:22:18,061 --> 00:22:19,711
person might change in this direction.

805
00:22:20,016 --> 00:22:22,346
now we're, you know, mid and late

806
00:22:22,346 --> 00:22:23,846
thirties, so we're more like.

807
00:22:23,977 --> 00:22:25,657
Okay, this is more who I am.

808
00:22:25,838 --> 00:22:27,608
But definitely those, you know, you look

809
00:22:27,608 --> 00:22:29,971
back and I'm like, who is that girl?

810
00:22:30,151 --> 00:22:32,246
Who's that young woman that I

811
00:22:32,246 --> 00:22:34,166
was, I was so different then.

812
00:22:34,294 --> 00:22:35,581
So it's very interesting

813
00:22:35,581 --> 00:22:36,361
that you say that too.

814
00:22:36,391 --> 00:22:37,681
'cause I'm like, oh, if we would've

815
00:22:37,681 --> 00:22:39,421
just met now, would've been different.

816
00:22:39,421 --> 00:22:41,442
Or we also went to high school together.

817
00:22:41,442 --> 00:22:42,372
We did not know each other.

818
00:22:42,372 --> 00:22:43,651
But I'm like, definitely if we met in

819
00:22:43,651 --> 00:22:45,348
high school, it would've been wrong.

820
00:22:45,528 --> 00:22:46,458
Completely wrong.

821
00:22:46,488 --> 00:22:47,028
Yep.

822
00:22:47,123 --> 00:22:47,991
But it's just interesting

823
00:22:47,991 --> 00:22:48,651
that you say that.

824
00:22:48,651 --> 00:22:49,701
'cause I think so many times we're

825
00:22:49,701 --> 00:22:51,980
focused on like, what our goal is of

826
00:22:51,980 --> 00:22:53,870
like, okay, dating someone, getting

827
00:22:53,870 --> 00:22:55,970
married, like all these steps and maybe

828
00:22:55,970 --> 00:22:58,435
that's not how it should always go.

829
00:22:58,435 --> 00:22:58,885
Right?

830
00:22:59,120 --> 00:22:59,750
Yeah.

831
00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:01,550
And I think we are more comfortable

832
00:23:01,550 --> 00:23:03,380
with that sometimes for friendships.

833
00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:04,988
Sometimes we do like to have friends

834
00:23:04,988 --> 00:23:07,118
that last our whole lifetimes, but

835
00:23:07,118 --> 00:23:08,138
a lot of times people are like,

836
00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:09,548
yeah, I was friends with this person

837
00:23:09,548 --> 00:23:11,803
in college and no one is like.

838
00:23:11,916 --> 00:23:12,966
Wait, you're not friends with

839
00:23:12,966 --> 00:23:14,346
every single person that you

840
00:23:14,346 --> 00:23:15,756
were besties with in college.

841
00:23:15,756 --> 00:23:17,106
You must be a failed friend.

842
00:23:17,106 --> 00:23:18,912
Like, no, there's different people

843
00:23:18,912 --> 00:23:20,292
at different stages of our life

844
00:23:20,292 --> 00:23:21,612
and that the same thing can be

845
00:23:21,612 --> 00:23:25,032
true in romantic relationships.

846
00:23:25,302 --> 00:23:26,412
And then there's gonna be people that

847
00:23:26,412 --> 00:23:28,272
you meet that are gonna stand the test

848
00:23:28,272 --> 00:23:30,492
of time and do grow and evolve with you.

849
00:23:30,599 --> 00:23:31,949
And that's beautiful.

850
00:23:31,979 --> 00:23:33,869
But not everybody is gonna be like that.

851
00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:34,529
Right.

852
00:23:34,529 --> 00:23:35,579
And I feel like we need to stop

853
00:23:35,639 --> 00:23:37,169
guilting ourselves and others.

854
00:23:37,169 --> 00:23:38,194
It's not necessarily

855
00:23:38,194 --> 00:23:39,424
always good verse bad.

856
00:23:39,454 --> 00:23:40,079
'cause I, yes.

857
00:23:40,079 --> 00:23:41,224
I think the video too about like

858
00:23:41,224 --> 00:23:43,354
friendship breakups I think in the moment

859
00:23:43,354 --> 00:23:45,034
we're like, oh, they're the bad friend.

860
00:23:45,164 --> 00:23:46,680
I'm getting away from that toxic friend.

861
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:47,460
But then you look back and you're

862
00:23:47,460 --> 00:23:49,487
like, no, was really good or bad.

863
00:23:49,607 --> 00:23:50,717
I think we just kinda had

864
00:23:50,717 --> 00:23:52,247
different roads ahead of us.

865
00:23:52,337 --> 00:23:52,757
Exactly.

866
00:23:52,757 --> 00:23:53,687
And needed to go that way.

867
00:23:53,927 --> 00:23:56,285
So do you believe in your work

868
00:23:56,285 --> 00:23:58,158
and stuff, do you believe that

869
00:23:58,158 --> 00:24:00,467
soulmates are a thing are real?

870
00:24:00,497 --> 00:24:01,067
Because I feel like

871
00:24:01,067 --> 00:24:02,147
people are back and forth.

872
00:24:02,338 --> 00:24:04,708
I do, and I actually posted relatively

873
00:24:04,708 --> 00:24:07,378
recently too about a video, like asking

874
00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:09,305
the deck if, well, and really the deck

875
00:24:09,305 --> 00:24:11,165
isn't its own entity, but like, spirit

876
00:24:11,298 --> 00:24:13,337
through the deck if soulmates were real.

877
00:24:13,337 --> 00:24:14,567
I do strongly believe

878
00:24:14,567 --> 00:24:15,587
that soulmates are real.

879
00:24:15,799 --> 00:24:17,449
I do not believe in twin flames.

880
00:24:17,449 --> 00:24:18,859
I think Twin Flames is very

881
00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:20,269
different and very toxic.

882
00:24:20,347 --> 00:24:20,527
okay.

883
00:24:20,527 --> 00:24:23,407
So Twin flames you, so you think they

884
00:24:23,407 --> 00:24:24,997
are a thing, but they're not good?

885
00:24:25,166 --> 00:24:25,476
Or do you think

886
00:24:25,476 --> 00:24:25,861
they're not?

887
00:24:25,861 --> 00:24:26,846
I don't, I think the concept

888
00:24:26,846 --> 00:24:28,436
of Twin Flames is not real.

889
00:24:28,436 --> 00:24:28,466
Okay.

890
00:24:28,466 --> 00:24:30,146
And that the belief in Twin Flames

891
00:24:30,146 --> 00:24:32,356
is a very unhealthy, like kind of,

892
00:24:32,414 --> 00:24:33,815
I'm try not to use like a negative,

893
00:24:33,851 --> 00:24:35,021
word that you're gonna have to bleep.

894
00:24:35,506 --> 00:24:35,796
Okay.

895
00:24:36,106 --> 00:24:36,516
It's okay.

896
00:24:36,576 --> 00:24:38,081
But like, I think it's like,

897
00:24:38,115 --> 00:24:40,575
Manipulation of spiritual messaging

898
00:24:40,575 --> 00:24:42,285
in a very unhealthy and toxic way.

899
00:24:42,285 --> 00:24:43,245
And I think it keeps people

900
00:24:43,245 --> 00:24:45,225
attached to people in abusive

901
00:24:45,225 --> 00:24:48,135
relationships and toxic cycles.

902
00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:49,515
And there's a lot of spiritual

903
00:24:49,515 --> 00:24:51,495
bypassing soulmates, I think is

904
00:24:51,495 --> 00:24:52,785
very different, but I also think

905
00:24:52,785 --> 00:24:55,545
soulmates can be in very, very forms.

906
00:24:55,545 --> 00:24:57,195
One of my strongest soulmates

907
00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:58,545
in my life was my dog.

908
00:24:58,745 --> 00:25:00,245
so you can have soulmates that are

909
00:25:00,245 --> 00:25:03,799
pets, kids, family members, friends,

910
00:25:04,099 --> 00:25:05,924
teachers could be soulmates and

911
00:25:05,954 --> 00:25:07,574
romantic people can also be soulmates.

912
00:25:07,574 --> 00:25:09,584
But not every soulmate is meant to be in

913
00:25:09,584 --> 00:25:11,330
your life for the entirety of your life.

914
00:25:11,330 --> 00:25:13,040
Some are, some aren't, and you're not

915
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,690
gonna necessarily meet every soulmate

916
00:25:14,690 --> 00:25:16,085
that's available out there for you.

917
00:25:16,577 --> 00:25:16,929
You'll, or do

918
00:25:16,929 --> 00:25:17,409
you think

919
00:25:17,409 --> 00:25:18,099
that's what I think

920
00:25:18,189 --> 00:25:19,539
people have multiple

921
00:25:19,539 --> 00:25:20,559
soulmates in their lifetime?

922
00:25:20,559 --> 00:25:20,829
Yes.

923
00:25:21,052 --> 00:25:21,194
Yes.

924
00:25:21,199 --> 00:25:21,569
Okay.

925
00:25:21,743 --> 00:25:22,012
Okay.

926
00:25:22,012 --> 00:25:24,772
So I think, okay, so I agree with you.

927
00:25:24,801 --> 00:25:26,567
in the beginning I was like, and of course

928
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:27,707
I have no background in any of this.

929
00:25:27,707 --> 00:25:29,027
This is just, you can believe it.

930
00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,737
A random, random person saying it.

931
00:25:31,063 --> 00:25:32,443
cause I always say to people, I

932
00:25:32,443 --> 00:25:34,704
don't believe in soulmates, but I'm

933
00:25:34,704 --> 00:25:36,641
speaking more of like the universe,

934
00:25:36,641 --> 00:25:37,991
the one God, whatever you believe in.

935
00:25:37,991 --> 00:25:38,561
Yes.

936
00:25:38,734 --> 00:25:40,918
one person here, one person here, they're

937
00:25:40,918 --> 00:25:43,078
born and they have to find each other.

938
00:25:43,078 --> 00:25:43,678
And there's only one,

939
00:25:43,678 --> 00:25:44,578
I don't believe in the one.

940
00:25:44,698 --> 00:25:45,088
Okay.

941
00:25:45,118 --> 00:25:45,358
Mm-hmm.

942
00:25:45,598 --> 00:25:45,953
That's why I'm saying

943
00:25:45,988 --> 00:25:49,165
I believe in many ones, and also like,

944
00:25:49,165 --> 00:25:50,665
even if you meet somebody who could be

945
00:25:50,665 --> 00:25:52,975
like one of your ones, doesn't mean that

946
00:25:52,975 --> 00:25:54,475
it's just gonna be sunshine and rainbows.

947
00:25:54,475 --> 00:25:55,675
You still have to put in the work

948
00:25:55,675 --> 00:25:57,295
to make that relationship work.

949
00:25:57,295 --> 00:25:57,625
Thank you.

950
00:25:57,625 --> 00:25:58,315
Yes.

951
00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:58,853
And.

952
00:25:59,819 --> 00:26:01,799
Just because relationships take work

953
00:26:01,799 --> 00:26:03,029
doesn't mean that putting in the

954
00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:04,799
work is gonna work with everybody.

955
00:26:04,990 --> 00:26:06,239
So you could meet somebody

956
00:26:06,239 --> 00:26:07,679
who is not for you.

957
00:26:07,679 --> 00:26:09,526
You could think that they're soulmates

958
00:26:09,526 --> 00:26:10,996
and you could try to put in the

959
00:26:10,996 --> 00:26:12,496
work and it's not gonna work because

960
00:26:12,496 --> 00:26:13,906
you're just not meant to be together.

961
00:26:13,906 --> 00:26:15,025
Like, that's my belief.

962
00:26:15,025 --> 00:26:16,735
At least that's what I, yeah,

963
00:26:16,855 --> 00:26:18,235
no, I totally love this and I believe

964
00:26:18,235 --> 00:26:20,150
it because I've heard such this,

965
00:26:20,150 --> 00:26:21,722
like, negative is not the right word.

966
00:26:21,752 --> 00:26:23,072
I view it negatively, I think.

967
00:26:23,072 --> 00:26:25,001
But like that idea that there's one

968
00:26:25,001 --> 00:26:26,531
person out there that you have to

969
00:26:26,531 --> 00:26:27,971
search for and they're waiting for

970
00:26:27,971 --> 00:26:30,282
you they're your one romantic chance,

971
00:26:30,332 --> 00:26:31,801
to like have this romantic partner.

972
00:26:32,105 --> 00:26:33,675
And I think then people think

973
00:26:33,675 --> 00:26:34,425
it's gonna be butterflies

974
00:26:34,425 --> 00:26:35,260
and rainbows, like you said.

975
00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:35,540
Mm-hmm.

976
00:26:35,620 --> 00:26:37,455
Like if it's your soulmate, you won't have

977
00:26:37,455 --> 00:26:40,695
to like go through like, a discussion or

978
00:26:40,695 --> 00:26:43,222
like have conflict or figure things out.

979
00:26:43,372 --> 00:26:44,572
It should just be perfect.

980
00:26:44,741 --> 00:26:46,241
I think that's where like movies kind

981
00:26:46,241 --> 00:26:47,891
of get us as kids, like Disney movies

982
00:26:47,891 --> 00:26:49,121
of like, oh, that's their person.

983
00:26:49,121 --> 00:26:50,561
They're married happily ever after.

984
00:26:50,914 --> 00:26:52,297
And, that's why I always say, I'm like,

985
00:26:52,297 --> 00:26:53,587
well, I don't believe in one soulmate

986
00:26:53,587 --> 00:26:55,507
because I feel like I have to work at it.

987
00:26:55,627 --> 00:26:57,067
we've worked together every day.

988
00:26:57,067 --> 00:26:59,207
Like sometimes it's like us first

989
00:26:59,207 --> 00:27:00,827
the problem or it's us kinda that

990
00:27:01,157 --> 00:27:04,012
next step or, and I feel like any,

991
00:27:04,031 --> 00:27:05,788
couple that like wants to work

992
00:27:05,818 --> 00:27:08,008
together, they can make it work.

993
00:27:08,008 --> 00:27:09,628
But like you said, not

994
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:10,438
every couple's gonna work.

995
00:27:10,463 --> 00:27:11,963
No matter what you try,

996
00:27:11,963 --> 00:27:13,073
it's just not gonna work.

997
00:27:13,073 --> 00:27:13,163
Mm-hmm.

998
00:27:13,408 --> 00:27:14,186
and vice versa.

999
00:27:14,191 --> 00:27:15,296
So, no, I love that you say that

1000
00:27:15,296 --> 00:27:16,346
because I feel like there's such this

1001
00:27:16,346 --> 00:27:18,562
interesting dialogue around soulmates

1002
00:27:18,562 --> 00:27:20,002
and what they are and who they are.

1003
00:27:20,219 --> 00:27:20,639
Yeah.

1004
00:27:20,792 --> 00:27:22,838
And I do think your true soulmates,

1005
00:27:22,838 --> 00:27:24,878
whoever that is, they are going to

1006
00:27:24,878 --> 00:27:27,698
push you in some ways because at least

1007
00:27:27,698 --> 00:27:29,978
my belief is that we are supposed to

1008
00:27:29,978 --> 00:27:31,568
grow throughout our lifetime here.

1009
00:27:31,568 --> 00:27:33,188
That's part of the human experience

1010
00:27:33,188 --> 00:27:34,928
is to evolve and to grow and to

1011
00:27:34,928 --> 00:27:36,812
self-actualize into create all

1012
00:27:36,812 --> 00:27:38,192
these different parts of ourselves.

1013
00:27:38,284 --> 00:27:40,615
And so somebody who is really aligned

1014
00:27:40,615 --> 00:27:42,205
with you is gonna push you to do that.

1015
00:27:42,205 --> 00:27:43,015
They're gonna create a safe

1016
00:27:43,015 --> 00:27:44,125
space for you to do that.

1017
00:27:44,275 --> 00:27:46,075
Even in the healthiest of relationships,

1018
00:27:46,075 --> 00:27:47,035
you're gonna get triggered.

1019
00:27:47,335 --> 00:27:48,655
But it's being able to

1020
00:27:48,775 --> 00:27:50,185
come back from that.

1021
00:27:50,312 --> 00:27:52,562
And I say all of that, and also caution

1022
00:27:52,562 --> 00:27:54,748
that if you're constantly being triggered

1023
00:27:54,748 --> 00:27:57,139
by somebody or constantly having all

1024
00:27:57,139 --> 00:27:58,392
this conflict, then that's, not the

1025
00:27:58,392 --> 00:28:00,833
same, there should be times of peace.

1026
00:28:01,142 --> 00:28:02,393
And there's also studies

1027
00:28:02,393 --> 00:28:03,803
that show that if you're.

1028
00:28:03,982 --> 00:28:06,952
Not happy generally, and like see positive

1029
00:28:06,952 --> 00:28:09,832
things around at least 65% of the time,

1030
00:28:09,832 --> 00:28:11,752
the relationship is not going to last.

1031
00:28:12,084 --> 00:28:13,974
So that's also, yeah.

1032
00:28:13,974 --> 00:28:16,074
That brings in my like, science side of

1033
00:28:16,644 --> 00:28:17,574
No, I love that

1034
00:28:17,579 --> 00:28:17,739
stuff.

1035
00:28:17,999 --> 00:28:19,404
And like using that kind of stuff.

1036
00:28:19,404 --> 00:28:19,794
Yeah.

1037
00:28:20,064 --> 00:28:20,424
Yeah.

1038
00:28:20,424 --> 00:28:21,444
No, I love that stuff.

1039
00:28:21,557 --> 00:28:23,371
I truly believe in like soulmates as

1040
00:28:23,371 --> 00:28:25,206
friends too, because there's been like

1041
00:28:25,214 --> 00:28:26,818
amazing women that I've met in my life

1042
00:28:26,836 --> 00:28:28,396
we've just like clicked and I'm like,

1043
00:28:28,683 --> 00:28:30,303
do I know you from another lifetime?

1044
00:28:30,303 --> 00:28:31,235
Like, and it's so interesting.

1045
00:28:31,235 --> 00:28:32,996
Like, female friendships

1046
00:28:32,996 --> 00:28:33,686
and stuff like that.

1047
00:28:33,686 --> 00:28:35,186
I feel like it's just like a study

1048
00:28:35,186 --> 00:28:37,351
in itself because there's just women

1049
00:28:37,351 --> 00:28:38,845
that I've, like, some of the chapters

1050
00:28:38,845 --> 00:28:40,285
had closed, but I would never have

1051
00:28:40,285 --> 00:28:41,605
an ill word to say about them.

1052
00:28:41,665 --> 00:28:41,965
Yeah.

1053
00:28:41,965 --> 00:28:43,075
But then there's some that I've met

1054
00:28:43,075 --> 00:28:44,635
that I'm like still lifelong friends

1055
00:28:44,635 --> 00:28:46,195
and it's just like, there's just

1056
00:28:46,195 --> 00:28:47,593
something about meeting them and I'm

1057
00:28:47,593 --> 00:28:49,568
just like, our souls are aligned.

1058
00:28:49,568 --> 00:28:51,248
Like, I like conversation.

1059
00:28:51,253 --> 00:28:51,263
Yeah.

1060
00:28:51,858 --> 00:28:52,998
I know, I feel like I could talk to

1061
00:28:52,998 --> 00:28:53,958
you about so many different things.

1062
00:28:55,248 --> 00:28:55,408
You're so knowledge.

1063
00:28:55,408 --> 00:28:55,513
That's

1064
00:28:55,513 --> 00:28:55,593
good

1065
00:28:56,178 --> 00:28:56,298
things.

1066
00:28:56,298 --> 00:28:58,818
But I know we have a limited time too.

1067
00:28:59,084 --> 00:29:01,469
but getting into, I'm gonna kind of switch

1068
00:29:01,469 --> 00:29:03,989
gears getting into like wedding drama.

1069
00:29:04,215 --> 00:29:06,855
I know you have a maid of honor

1070
00:29:07,125 --> 00:29:09,086
kind of drama story, so do you

1071
00:29:09,086 --> 00:29:10,256
wanna talk more about that?

1072
00:29:10,256 --> 00:29:12,026
You had to demote a maid of honor.

1073
00:29:12,446 --> 00:29:14,366
I did have to, and then I'm glad

1074
00:29:14,366 --> 00:29:16,189
we talked about the friends concept

1075
00:29:16,189 --> 00:29:17,959
already because I wouldn't say that

1076
00:29:17,959 --> 00:29:19,399
this was like a failed friendship.

1077
00:29:19,499 --> 00:29:22,259
so my original maid of honor was

1078
00:29:22,328 --> 00:29:24,878
when I was married before she was

1079
00:29:24,878 --> 00:29:26,468
my best friend from high school

1080
00:29:26,652 --> 00:29:28,062
and I had been her maid of honor.

1081
00:29:28,194 --> 00:29:30,684
and she got married pretty close

1082
00:29:30,684 --> 00:29:32,274
to when we graduated from college.

1083
00:29:32,274 --> 00:29:34,866
Like she got married younger than, I did.

1084
00:29:34,962 --> 00:29:36,582
And so yeah, I was her maid of honor

1085
00:29:36,743 --> 00:29:40,519
and I did a lot for her wedding.

1086
00:29:40,710 --> 00:29:43,410
I planned and paid for not the

1087
00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:44,972
entire bachelorette, but I, planned

1088
00:29:44,972 --> 00:29:46,382
the entire bachelorette and paid

1089
00:29:46,382 --> 00:29:48,362
for like a lot of it myself.

1090
00:29:48,495 --> 00:29:51,435
I planned and also paid for an entire

1091
00:29:51,435 --> 00:29:53,865
shower, and it was a couples shower,

1092
00:29:54,069 --> 00:29:55,809
which for what it's worth, I think

1093
00:29:55,809 --> 00:29:57,309
that's so cool to do a couples shower.

1094
00:29:57,309 --> 00:30:00,159
I love the like non-gender conforming

1095
00:30:00,159 --> 00:30:01,971
things, but, there was a lot and

1096
00:30:01,971 --> 00:30:04,191
I was in my master's program.

1097
00:30:04,191 --> 00:30:05,693
It wasn't like I was rolling

1098
00:30:05,693 --> 00:30:06,683
in the D at this time.

1099
00:30:07,644 --> 00:30:11,476
and I did a lot of extra thoughtful gifts.

1100
00:30:11,476 --> 00:30:12,706
She also had another shower that

1101
00:30:12,706 --> 00:30:14,803
I also attended her wedding.

1102
00:30:15,027 --> 00:30:16,303
we're from the Chicago suburbs.

1103
00:30:16,303 --> 00:30:18,373
I know you are too, are from that area,

1104
00:30:18,423 --> 00:30:21,483
and her wedding was in Madison, Wisconsin.

1105
00:30:21,743 --> 00:30:23,392
So it wasn't that far, but it

1106
00:30:23,392 --> 00:30:25,282
also required an overnight stay.

1107
00:30:25,432 --> 00:30:26,512
So there was still like, you

1108
00:30:26,512 --> 00:30:28,552
know, the hotel and all of that

1109
00:30:28,587 --> 00:30:29,573
it all added up.

1110
00:30:29,663 --> 00:30:31,163
But some of the other like extra

1111
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:33,536
thoughtful things that I did, for

1112
00:30:33,536 --> 00:30:34,766
her, like something old, something

1113
00:30:34,766 --> 00:30:36,326
new, something broad, something blue.

1114
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:38,651
I created a garter for her 'cause I

1115
00:30:38,651 --> 00:30:40,278
knew she wanted to do a special garter.

1116
00:30:40,278 --> 00:30:42,498
So she had like a, garter toss garter.

1117
00:30:42,798 --> 00:30:44,178
But this was back when we

1118
00:30:44,178 --> 00:30:45,258
were still doing that stuff.

1119
00:30:45,258 --> 00:30:46,098
I don't think that

1120
00:30:47,298 --> 00:30:48,438
kind of dying out a little bit.

1121
00:30:48,438 --> 00:30:49,878
Yeah, that's, that's not a thing anymore.

1122
00:30:49,878 --> 00:30:51,478
But I actually do think this keepsake

1123
00:30:51,478 --> 00:30:52,708
thing is actually kind of cool.

1124
00:30:52,708 --> 00:30:53,968
You don't toss this one.

1125
00:30:54,265 --> 00:30:56,845
And we got fabric from her mom's wedding

1126
00:30:56,845 --> 00:30:59,755
dress from her grandma, from her dad.

1127
00:30:59,851 --> 00:31:01,668
And like we sewed, me and my mom did

1128
00:31:01,668 --> 00:31:03,558
this, and we sewed it onto her garter.

1129
00:31:03,558 --> 00:31:05,208
So her garter like, had all these like

1130
00:31:05,208 --> 00:31:07,458
special people with her on the day.

1131
00:31:07,693 --> 00:31:10,073
the person I was seeing at the time, he

1132
00:31:10,073 --> 00:31:13,463
took a picture of her and her fiance and

1133
00:31:13,463 --> 00:31:14,783
that, like one of their favorite pictures.

1134
00:31:14,783 --> 00:31:16,103
And then he hand drew it,

1135
00:31:16,133 --> 00:31:17,513
like, and it looked amazing.

1136
00:31:17,659 --> 00:31:18,994
and I don't know if they still at

1137
00:31:18,994 --> 00:31:20,824
this time, but I know like many

1138
00:31:20,824 --> 00:31:21,904
years later they still had that

1139
00:31:21,904 --> 00:31:23,194
like, hanging in their bedroom.

1140
00:31:23,434 --> 00:31:25,024
So it's like a lot of very, very

1141
00:31:25,024 --> 00:31:27,574
special, like extra thoughtful things.

1142
00:31:27,901 --> 00:31:30,066
Okay, so fast forward years to my

1143
00:31:30,066 --> 00:31:32,014
wedding, and I knew I wanted to

1144
00:31:32,014 --> 00:31:33,364
have a very small bridal party.

1145
00:31:33,364 --> 00:31:35,314
I only, it was three people on my

1146
00:31:35,314 --> 00:31:36,604
side, three people on his side.

1147
00:31:36,604 --> 00:31:37,504
And one of those people was

1148
00:31:37,504 --> 00:31:38,614
my brother and his sister.

1149
00:31:38,614 --> 00:31:40,324
So it was literally just two friends each.

1150
00:31:40,436 --> 00:31:42,236
And so I wanted her to be one of the

1151
00:31:42,236 --> 00:31:44,546
people that was in mine, but I really

1152
00:31:44,546 --> 00:31:47,036
kind of was like, my best friend from

1153
00:31:47,036 --> 00:31:48,836
college I felt like was maybe more

1154
00:31:48,836 --> 00:31:50,726
like the right maid of honor for me.

1155
00:31:51,145 --> 00:31:53,305
And so I was like, okay, it's fine.

1156
00:31:53,515 --> 00:31:55,521
well she was, in a different stage

1157
00:31:55,521 --> 00:31:56,781
of her life at that time now too.

1158
00:31:56,781 --> 00:31:57,801
So now she's pregnant.

1159
00:31:58,239 --> 00:32:00,789
And I am living in Charlotte, North

1160
00:32:00,789 --> 00:32:02,953
Carolina at the time, so I'm like,

1161
00:32:02,983 --> 00:32:04,876
okay, you I don't really wanna do like

1162
00:32:04,876 --> 00:32:07,066
a big bachelorette, that's not my scene.

1163
00:32:07,260 --> 00:32:09,015
I was like 29 or something.

1164
00:32:09,346 --> 00:32:10,927
28. and I was just like,

1165
00:32:10,927 --> 00:32:11,941
I didn't wanna do that.

1166
00:32:11,941 --> 00:32:14,521
So my best friend from college, she

1167
00:32:14,521 --> 00:32:16,589
and I just went to Mexico by just

1168
00:32:16,589 --> 00:32:18,388
ourselves for like a bachelorette.

1169
00:32:18,510 --> 00:32:19,395
I was like, we don't need to do a

1170
00:32:19,395 --> 00:32:21,383
bachelorette for my wedding showers.

1171
00:32:21,529 --> 00:32:24,015
I flew back to the Chicago area and

1172
00:32:24,105 --> 00:32:25,995
we had two wedding showers on the

1173
00:32:25,995 --> 00:32:28,155
same weekend, so it was back to back.

1174
00:32:28,208 --> 00:32:29,757
So it was like if you were

1175
00:32:29,757 --> 00:32:31,557
having to travel, it was fine.

1176
00:32:31,651 --> 00:32:33,928
She didn't travel in, was just

1177
00:32:33,928 --> 00:32:35,638
like a couple hours away and she

1178
00:32:35,638 --> 00:32:37,108
didn't come to either of them.

1179
00:32:38,218 --> 00:32:39,238
And I was like, you didn't even have

1180
00:32:39,238 --> 00:32:41,848
to plan them, but you could like come

1181
00:32:42,017 --> 00:32:43,307
and stay for free at your

1182
00:32:43,307 --> 00:32:45,227
mom's house who lives like five

1183
00:32:45,227 --> 00:32:47,207
minutes from where the shower

1184
00:32:47,897 --> 00:32:47,957
is.

1185
00:32:48,047 --> 00:32:48,287
Yeah.

1186
00:32:48,287 --> 00:32:50,477
It's odd to not even like try to come

1187
00:32:50,477 --> 00:32:52,677
And did she RSVP no or just like, was

1188
00:32:52,712 --> 00:32:54,347
she RSVP No, she said that she

1189
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:55,487
could just couldn't come because of

1190
00:32:55,487 --> 00:32:56,597
everything that was going on, but

1191
00:32:56,597 --> 00:32:58,999
I was just like, she was pregnant.

1192
00:32:58,999 --> 00:33:00,849
She was pregnant and But it wasn't to

1193
00:33:00,849 --> 00:33:02,379
the part of the pregnancy yet where

1194
00:33:02,379 --> 00:33:04,599
like, you're not supposed to like drive.

1195
00:33:04,809 --> 00:33:05,139
Yeah.

1196
00:33:05,139 --> 00:33:06,519
Or be and yeah.

1197
00:33:06,519 --> 00:33:08,289
So, but I was like, okay.

1198
00:33:08,349 --> 00:33:09,159
I mean, I get it.

1199
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:10,287
I was like, okay.

1200
00:33:10,531 --> 00:33:11,521
but then as we're like getting

1201
00:33:11,551 --> 00:33:13,764
closer to the wedding, I was like.

1202
00:33:13,976 --> 00:33:15,746
Wanting everybody to come

1203
00:33:15,746 --> 00:33:17,096
in from the bridal party.

1204
00:33:17,126 --> 00:33:18,296
'cause we didn't do bachelor.

1205
00:33:18,339 --> 00:33:19,655
my, ex-husband also didn't

1206
00:33:19,655 --> 00:33:20,435
do a bachelor party.

1207
00:33:20,743 --> 00:33:22,415
We just literally were like, we just

1208
00:33:22,415 --> 00:33:24,815
want our bridal party to come in

1209
00:33:25,265 --> 00:33:27,545
one extra day early so that we can

1210
00:33:27,545 --> 00:33:29,735
all hang out together for one night.

1211
00:33:29,917 --> 00:33:31,530
That's all we had asked of them.

1212
00:33:31,596 --> 00:33:32,586
And that, yes, they were gonna

1213
00:33:32,586 --> 00:33:34,176
need to travel 'cause we were, you

1214
00:33:34,176 --> 00:33:35,406
know, nobody else lived in the same

1215
00:33:35,406 --> 00:33:37,056
city that we were living in, but

1216
00:33:37,056 --> 00:33:38,376
that's all that we were asking.

1217
00:33:38,677 --> 00:33:39,847
And she couldn't do it.

1218
00:33:39,847 --> 00:33:41,077
And she wasn't even gonna make it to

1219
00:33:41,077 --> 00:33:43,629
the rehearsal the next day on time.

1220
00:33:43,734 --> 00:33:45,568
And so I was like, I just felt

1221
00:33:45,568 --> 00:33:47,733
like the reciprocity wasn't there.

1222
00:33:48,003 --> 00:33:48,603
Yeah.

1223
00:33:48,663 --> 00:33:50,211
And so I was like, you know what?

1224
00:33:50,211 --> 00:33:51,051
I just think it would be

1225
00:33:51,051 --> 00:33:52,471
better for you to just.

1226
00:33:53,181 --> 00:33:54,501
I would still love for you to come to

1227
00:33:54,501 --> 00:33:56,233
the wedding, but I think it would just

1228
00:33:56,233 --> 00:33:58,003
be better if you just come to the wedding

1229
00:33:58,093 --> 00:34:01,216
and as a guest and then that's cool.

1230
00:34:01,264 --> 00:34:02,790
yeah, so because at that time

1231
00:34:02,790 --> 00:34:04,590
she would also have had her baby.

1232
00:34:04,736 --> 00:34:06,690
We were having a child-free wedding

1233
00:34:06,810 --> 00:34:08,759
and so I was just like, come as

1234
00:34:08,759 --> 00:34:10,813
a guest, her mom was gonna come

1235
00:34:10,813 --> 00:34:12,613
and like, take care of her child.

1236
00:34:12,763 --> 00:34:14,263
And I didn't feel bad about that either.

1237
00:34:14,293 --> 00:34:15,763
'cause my parents also were involved

1238
00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:17,301
with like, helping on her wedding too.

1239
00:34:17,301 --> 00:34:17,781
So like,

1240
00:34:17,992 --> 00:34:18,502
it's fine.

1241
00:34:18,811 --> 00:34:19,612
But yeah.

1242
00:34:19,762 --> 00:34:21,472
And then I ended up having my best

1243
00:34:21,472 --> 00:34:23,302
friend that had taken me to Mexico.

1244
00:34:23,302 --> 00:34:25,672
She was my maid of honor for real.

1245
00:34:25,957 --> 00:34:27,833
then I asked one of my friends from

1246
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,053
childhood to step in and I felt bad

1247
00:34:30,083 --> 00:34:31,538
'cause it was like I should have asked

1248
00:34:31,538 --> 00:34:33,218
her from the get go and it felt bad.

1249
00:34:33,218 --> 00:34:34,328
It was like a replacement, but

1250
00:34:34,328 --> 00:34:36,198
she understood, it was fine.

1251
00:34:36,198 --> 00:34:37,278
It was no hard feelings.

1252
00:34:37,278 --> 00:34:39,335
So, but it did kind of lead

1253
00:34:39,335 --> 00:34:41,903
to me and my original maid of

1254
00:34:41,903 --> 00:34:43,163
honor, my high school friends.

1255
00:34:43,163 --> 00:34:45,082
Like We just kind of like separated ways.

1256
00:34:45,082 --> 00:34:46,730
Then I felt like, yeah, the

1257
00:34:46,730 --> 00:34:48,170
reciprocity just wasn't there.

1258
00:34:48,170 --> 00:34:48,260
Mm-hmm.

1259
00:34:48,652 --> 00:34:50,902
And that I just didn't feel like

1260
00:34:51,022 --> 00:34:53,387
as seen or cared for in a way that

1261
00:34:53,387 --> 00:34:55,103
I felt like I like had deserved.

1262
00:34:55,103 --> 00:34:56,243
I guess so.

1263
00:34:56,483 --> 00:34:56,993
Yeah.

1264
00:34:57,309 --> 00:34:57,579
Okay.

1265
00:34:57,579 --> 00:35:00,189
So when you had to demote this maid

1266
00:35:00,189 --> 00:35:02,304
of honor, how was her response?

1267
00:35:02,304 --> 00:35:04,044
Do you feel like it was like

1268
00:35:04,581 --> 00:35:06,021
something, anything changed in the

1269
00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,041
relationship or do you feel like

1270
00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:08,871
it was okay after that happened?

1271
00:35:09,261 --> 00:35:12,021
Well, she definitely agreed that that

1272
00:35:12,021 --> 00:35:13,791
was gonna be for the best because

1273
00:35:13,791 --> 00:35:16,119
also she was also like iffy on even

1274
00:35:16,119 --> 00:35:17,859
if she could make it to pictures.

1275
00:35:17,859 --> 00:35:19,514
And I was just you have like one job.

1276
00:35:20,174 --> 00:35:21,134
Like I literally have barely

1277
00:35:21,134 --> 00:35:22,784
asked you to do like anything.

1278
00:35:22,784 --> 00:35:24,976
Like I understand she was going to be

1279
00:35:24,976 --> 00:35:26,611
in a new phases of life of like being

1280
00:35:26,611 --> 00:35:29,671
a new mom, but I also think, you know,

1281
00:35:29,671 --> 00:35:31,651
sometimes we have to make sure we're

1282
00:35:31,651 --> 00:35:33,181
still celebrating the people that are

1283
00:35:33,181 --> 00:35:35,461
in phases of life that like we were

1284
00:35:35,461 --> 00:35:37,381
celebrated in when we were in that phase.

1285
00:35:37,501 --> 00:35:37,591
Yes.

1286
00:35:37,980 --> 00:35:38,614
It's hard.

1287
00:35:38,614 --> 00:35:40,387
I, I do see why it would be

1288
00:35:40,387 --> 00:35:41,952
difficult for her to travel.

1289
00:35:42,004 --> 00:35:43,489
I get that, but also it's

1290
00:35:43,489 --> 00:35:44,773
like, I need one day.

1291
00:35:44,773 --> 00:35:46,033
Like, remember, so.

1292
00:35:46,038 --> 00:35:46,458
Mm-hmm.

1293
00:35:46,768 --> 00:35:47,058
Yeah.

1294
00:35:47,267 --> 00:35:48,914
So she agreed that that was gonna

1295
00:35:48,919 --> 00:35:50,149
be for the best and I was happy

1296
00:35:50,149 --> 00:35:52,069
that she was gonna still be coming.

1297
00:35:52,069 --> 00:35:53,479
I was very happy about that.

1298
00:35:53,479 --> 00:35:56,209
And we did have fun at the wedding, but.

1299
00:35:56,210 --> 00:35:58,040
I honestly don't think we've

1300
00:35:58,130 --> 00:35:59,390
even seen each other since.

1301
00:35:59,390 --> 00:36:00,680
We do live in different states and

1302
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,120
everything, but it's just been like

1303
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,880
much, much more distant ever since then.

1304
00:36:05,013 --> 00:36:06,588
Something else that kind of felt like,

1305
00:36:06,650 --> 00:36:08,390
the icing on the cake, so to speak,

1306
00:36:08,390 --> 00:36:11,600
was even from like the gifts I had

1307
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,910
put so much thought and energy into

1308
00:36:14,031 --> 00:36:15,411
the gifts that I was giving to her.

1309
00:36:15,411 --> 00:36:17,331
So personalized, like lifetime

1310
00:36:17,331 --> 00:36:20,078
keepsakes, and for me, she got like.

1311
00:36:20,498 --> 00:36:22,898
Six wine glasses off my registry.

1312
00:36:22,898 --> 00:36:22,988
Mm-hmm.

1313
00:36:23,378 --> 00:36:25,358
And like, yes, I was registered

1314
00:36:25,358 --> 00:36:26,918
for them, but like also that was

1315
00:36:26,918 --> 00:36:28,328
more for me to be able to have for

1316
00:36:28,328 --> 00:36:30,038
guests 'cause I'm allergic to wine.

1317
00:36:30,151 --> 00:36:30,361
Oh.

1318
00:36:30,361 --> 00:36:31,531
And she knew that.

1319
00:36:31,536 --> 00:36:32,521
And I was like, this is

1320
00:36:32,521 --> 00:36:34,381
not personable at all.

1321
00:36:34,741 --> 00:36:37,348
So I just was like, this relationship

1322
00:36:37,348 --> 00:36:38,909
is just like met the end of it.

1323
00:36:39,429 --> 00:36:41,199
Main course, I guess, you know?

1324
00:36:41,229 --> 00:36:41,289
Yeah.

1325
00:36:41,379 --> 00:36:43,068
So, and that's okay.

1326
00:36:43,341 --> 00:36:43,501
and

1327
00:36:43,501 --> 00:36:43,591
I

1328
00:36:43,591 --> 00:36:45,010
feel like moments like that kind of

1329
00:36:45,026 --> 00:36:47,306
make it clearer, like, okay, mm-hmm.

1330
00:36:47,546 --> 00:36:49,383
This is our last big hurrah.

1331
00:36:49,618 --> 00:36:52,078
And then that's sad because yeah,

1332
00:36:52,078 --> 00:36:54,104
it's like definitely being pregnant

1333
00:36:54,104 --> 00:36:55,754
or having kids changes things.

1334
00:36:55,754 --> 00:36:58,214
But like for me, like I was a maid

1335
00:36:58,214 --> 00:36:59,714
of honor when I was like six months

1336
00:36:59,714 --> 00:37:01,244
pregnant and I was like, gonna still

1337
00:37:01,244 --> 00:37:03,170
do everything as possible, like I

1338
00:37:03,170 --> 00:37:04,610
was still planning the bachelorette.

1339
00:37:04,610 --> 00:37:05,870
I was, we were on a boat

1340
00:37:06,380 --> 00:37:07,190
for the bachelorette.

1341
00:37:07,284 --> 00:37:09,253
Granted at that part, I think I was 15

1342
00:37:09,253 --> 00:37:10,993
weeks, but still, it was like, I remember

1343
00:37:11,053 --> 00:37:12,433
I was like a nervous Nelly when I was

1344
00:37:12,433 --> 00:37:13,701
pregnant, so I was like, okay, we're

1345
00:37:13,701 --> 00:37:16,041
gonna go on this yacht on Lake Michigan.

1346
00:37:16,041 --> 00:37:16,461
Okay.

1347
00:37:16,671 --> 00:37:18,410
But, yeah, you still make some

1348
00:37:18,410 --> 00:37:20,690
sacrifices for friends and at least.

1349
00:37:20,856 --> 00:37:22,356
Making effort or showing that

1350
00:37:22,356 --> 00:37:23,526
you're interested in being

1351
00:37:23,526 --> 00:37:25,446
there and excited for them?

1352
00:37:25,446 --> 00:37:26,406
I definitely,

1353
00:37:26,646 --> 00:37:29,646
yeah, I just didn't feel that, and I,

1354
00:37:29,766 --> 00:37:32,676
I don't like having a ton of attention

1355
00:37:32,676 --> 00:37:34,776
on me despite being on TikTok.

1356
00:37:34,806 --> 00:37:36,558
But like in a group like that, like I

1357
00:37:36,558 --> 00:37:38,388
don't really like being around a ton

1358
00:37:38,388 --> 00:37:40,248
of people at once or things like that.

1359
00:37:40,248 --> 00:37:42,105
that's why even I wanted a small

1360
00:37:42,165 --> 00:37:43,786
bridal party, but I just needed

1361
00:37:43,786 --> 00:37:45,462
to know that the two people I was

1362
00:37:45,462 --> 00:37:47,352
really choosing to be on my side.

1363
00:37:47,652 --> 00:37:48,762
Nothing against his sister,

1364
00:37:48,762 --> 00:37:50,361
but like that was his sister,

1365
00:37:50,451 --> 00:37:50,541
right?

1366
00:37:50,541 --> 00:37:50,601
Yeah.

1367
00:37:50,648 --> 00:37:52,058
she was very supportive.

1368
00:37:52,148 --> 00:37:53,294
Love her, but like.

1369
00:37:53,401 --> 00:37:54,720
The people that I was gonna have

1370
00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:56,220
there, I wanted to really like,

1371
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,470
I needed them to be there for me.

1372
00:37:58,470 --> 00:38:00,120
There were all sorts of other dynamics

1373
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:01,920
going on that like, I needed that.

1374
00:38:02,211 --> 00:38:03,604
And so I'm very thankful

1375
00:38:03,604 --> 00:38:04,624
I made the choice.

1376
00:38:04,761 --> 00:38:07,251
And then the person who I really

1377
00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:08,991
did wanna have be my maid of honor,

1378
00:38:08,991 --> 00:38:11,811
she was my maid of honor for real.

1379
00:38:11,841 --> 00:38:14,544
And that all worked out really well.

1380
00:38:14,574 --> 00:38:16,431
And I know I made the right choice

1381
00:38:16,431 --> 00:38:19,266
because I saw something months ago it

1382
00:38:19,266 --> 00:38:20,886
was like a question on Instagram or

1383
00:38:20,886 --> 00:38:23,217
something that was like, if you were to

1384
00:38:23,217 --> 00:38:25,287
walk into a room and every person that

1385
00:38:25,287 --> 00:38:27,567
you've ever met in your entire life.

1386
00:38:27,693 --> 00:38:30,393
Dead and alive was in that room, who's

1387
00:38:30,393 --> 00:38:32,313
the first person you would seek out?

1388
00:38:32,388 --> 00:38:32,647
Mm-hmm.

1389
00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:33,915
And my first reaction is

1390
00:38:33,915 --> 00:38:35,355
like, that is terrifying.

1391
00:38:35,925 --> 00:38:38,475
Like that is way too many people.

1392
00:38:38,475 --> 00:38:39,645
I would be so overwhelmed.

1393
00:38:39,645 --> 00:38:40,605
Yes, there would be people who

1394
00:38:40,605 --> 00:38:41,805
I would be so excited to see.

1395
00:38:41,805 --> 00:38:43,095
And there'd also be people who I would

1396
00:38:43,095 --> 00:38:44,955
be wanting to avoid for my safety.

1397
00:38:44,955 --> 00:38:46,695
Whatever the person I would most

1398
00:38:46,695 --> 00:38:48,765
seek out is the person who was,

1399
00:38:48,765 --> 00:38:50,205
and actually was my maid of honor,

1400
00:38:50,205 --> 00:38:51,345
my best friend from college.

1401
00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:53,253
Even though we live in separate states

1402
00:38:53,253 --> 00:38:54,663
and we don't get to see each other very

1403
00:38:54,663 --> 00:38:57,543
often, and you know, we talk with not

1404
00:38:57,543 --> 00:39:00,586
like the most frequency either, but I just

1405
00:39:00,586 --> 00:39:02,355
know that I could be like, oh my gosh,

1406
00:39:02,395 --> 00:39:04,207
Christa, and she would be like, I got it.

1407
00:39:05,592 --> 00:39:06,974
And that's who I needed

1408
00:39:06,974 --> 00:39:08,564
by my side in that moment.

1409
00:39:08,590 --> 00:39:10,329
and that's who I would still count on.

1410
00:39:10,389 --> 00:39:11,619
I would then, you know, then I

1411
00:39:11,619 --> 00:39:13,249
would wanna see like my grandpa that

1412
00:39:13,249 --> 00:39:14,749
passed away and stuff like that.

1413
00:39:14,749 --> 00:39:16,519
But like the first person I would

1414
00:39:16,519 --> 00:39:19,159
seek out is the person who would be my

1415
00:39:20,315 --> 00:39:20,701
Yeah.

1416
00:39:20,731 --> 00:39:22,561
No, that's a great like, exercise for

1417
00:39:22,561 --> 00:39:24,691
people getting married to be like,

1418
00:39:24,751 --> 00:39:26,521
do you visualize those people there?

1419
00:39:26,521 --> 00:39:26,581
Yeah.

1420
00:39:26,911 --> 00:39:28,201
And to listen to your gut, because

1421
00:39:28,201 --> 00:39:30,248
it's funny that you say you had a gut

1422
00:39:30,248 --> 00:39:31,988
feeling kind of in the beginning too,

1423
00:39:32,018 --> 00:39:34,063
because I read a story yesterday that

1424
00:39:34,063 --> 00:39:35,713
will be out on YouTube, but like,

1425
00:39:35,865 --> 00:39:37,683
she literally starts it with that I

1426
00:39:37,683 --> 00:39:39,303
had a gut feeling about a friend, and

1427
00:39:39,303 --> 00:39:40,503
it wasn't made of honor or anything.

1428
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:41,403
It was about just inviting

1429
00:39:41,403 --> 00:39:42,243
her to the wedding.

1430
00:39:42,663 --> 00:39:43,473
She was like, I don't know.

1431
00:39:43,473 --> 00:39:44,913
I had a gut feeling and my

1432
00:39:44,913 --> 00:39:45,933
gut was kind of saying no.

1433
00:39:45,933 --> 00:39:47,223
But then the friend reached out and was

1434
00:39:47,223 --> 00:39:48,453
like, I need to come to your wedding.

1435
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:49,940
And she said yes.

1436
00:39:50,161 --> 00:39:51,201
And it, like, all these

1437
00:39:51,231 --> 00:39:52,371
weird things happen.

1438
00:39:52,672 --> 00:39:53,868
And so it really is about listening

1439
00:39:53,868 --> 00:39:55,218
to your gut about people in your

1440
00:39:55,218 --> 00:39:57,513
wedding and, Making those calls and

1441
00:39:57,513 --> 00:39:58,563
it sounds like you guys had a really

1442
00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:00,753
like, mature conversation about it

1443
00:40:00,753 --> 00:40:02,343
and like both people were mature

1444
00:40:02,343 --> 00:40:03,827
because you hear of those where it's

1445
00:40:03,827 --> 00:40:05,357
like they get so offended because

1446
00:40:05,357 --> 00:40:06,716
they're not in the wedding anymore.

1447
00:40:06,716 --> 00:40:07,403
It's like, I'm doing this

1448
00:40:07,463 --> 00:40:08,783
'cause it's best for both of us.

1449
00:40:09,593 --> 00:40:09,653
Yeah.

1450
00:40:09,653 --> 00:40:09,853
Not just me.

1451
00:40:09,853 --> 00:40:11,213
I'm not being selfish or rude.

1452
00:40:11,436 --> 00:40:12,927
This is what's best for both of us.

1453
00:40:12,927 --> 00:40:14,487
And I think when people respond, it shows

1454
00:40:14,487 --> 00:40:16,647
a lot about like, both people's character.

1455
00:40:17,007 --> 00:40:18,567
Yeah, definitely.

1456
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:24,599
All right.

1457
00:40:24,773 --> 00:40:26,653
Let's get into, I'm like noticing

1458
00:40:26,653 --> 00:40:27,823
the time and I'm like, oh my gosh,

1459
00:40:27,823 --> 00:40:29,653
I could talk to you for so long.

1460
00:40:29,653 --> 00:40:30,529
Because when we start talking

1461
00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:31,789
about like, astrology and like

1462
00:40:32,064 --> 00:40:33,744
personality tests and I don't know

1463
00:40:33,744 --> 00:40:35,124
that stuff, I like, love any of it.

1464
00:40:35,394 --> 00:40:37,794
Anyways, let's get into some quick

1465
00:40:37,794 --> 00:40:39,144
wedding hot takes and then we'll get,

1466
00:40:39,149 --> 00:40:41,386
let's do it into, the story submission.

1467
00:40:41,675 --> 00:40:42,335
okay, this is gonna be a

1468
00:40:42,335 --> 00:40:43,615
little red flag, green flag.

1469
00:40:43,616 --> 00:40:44,306
are you up for that?

1470
00:40:44,469 --> 00:40:44,821
Yeah.

1471
00:40:45,211 --> 00:40:45,571
Okay.

1472
00:40:45,849 --> 00:40:47,439
they propose after six

1473
00:40:47,439 --> 00:40:48,909
months and say, I just know.

1474
00:40:49,129 --> 00:40:51,979
I think that it depends on the age

1475
00:40:52,082 --> 00:40:54,212
and how often they've been actually

1476
00:40:54,212 --> 00:40:56,043
spending time with each other, and

1477
00:40:56,043 --> 00:40:57,573
what other experience they've had.

1478
00:40:57,655 --> 00:40:58,615
I'm sorry to say that

1479
00:40:58,615 --> 00:41:00,025
that's like an, it depends.

1480
00:41:00,025 --> 00:41:00,085
Yeah.

1481
00:41:00,415 --> 00:41:02,614
If they are less than 25,

1482
00:41:02,674 --> 00:41:04,564
that is a hot no for me.

1483
00:41:05,104 --> 00:41:05,704
I'm sorry.

1484
00:41:05,704 --> 00:41:07,264
Like your brains are not fully developed.

1485
00:41:07,264 --> 00:41:07,894
It's no offense.

1486
00:41:07,894 --> 00:41:09,094
Like it's just the reality.

1487
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:10,270
Your brains are not fully developed.

1488
00:41:10,270 --> 00:41:11,911
You don't know after six months if

1489
00:41:11,911 --> 00:41:14,131
you are older and you've been in

1490
00:41:14,131 --> 00:41:15,691
serious relationships and you are

1491
00:41:15,691 --> 00:41:16,951
spending time with each other and

1492
00:41:16,951 --> 00:41:18,211
you've seen people in the different

1493
00:41:18,211 --> 00:41:19,771
seasons, like you've seen them be.

1494
00:41:19,951 --> 00:41:20,401
Angry.

1495
00:41:20,401 --> 00:41:21,811
You've seen them go through something

1496
00:41:21,811 --> 00:41:24,451
hard and like, and things like that, then

1497
00:41:24,541 --> 00:41:26,251
I think that that six months is okay.

1498
00:41:26,551 --> 00:41:27,241
Absolutely.

1499
00:41:27,246 --> 00:41:27,256
Yeah.

1500
00:41:27,481 --> 00:41:27,691
Yeah.

1501
00:41:27,691 --> 00:41:28,801
A lot of these I feel like are

1502
00:41:28,801 --> 00:41:30,409
hard to say, red flag, green flags.

1503
00:41:30,409 --> 00:41:31,639
They're not so obvious.

1504
00:41:31,639 --> 00:41:32,209
And there is a lot of

1505
00:41:32,209 --> 00:41:33,439
nuance to these, right?

1506
00:41:33,439 --> 00:41:34,609
You could never say like, oh,

1507
00:41:34,609 --> 00:41:35,719
it's completely a red flag.

1508
00:41:35,809 --> 00:41:37,039
And then someone listening is like,

1509
00:41:37,039 --> 00:41:38,359
well, we got engaged after six months.

1510
00:41:38,359 --> 00:41:39,709
Now we've been married for 25 years.

1511
00:41:39,709 --> 00:41:40,159
And it's like,

1512
00:41:40,203 --> 00:41:40,653
totally.

1513
00:41:40,683 --> 00:41:42,882
There's always a scenario where it

1514
00:41:43,182 --> 00:41:45,037
can absolutely be good, but okay,

1515
00:41:45,153 --> 00:41:47,368
your partner's mom says, I'll pay for

1516
00:41:47,368 --> 00:41:49,528
the wedding, but I need a final say.

1517
00:41:49,710 --> 00:41:52,080
I think that that is a red flag.

1518
00:41:52,247 --> 00:41:52,997
yeah.

1519
00:41:53,387 --> 00:41:53,897
Yeah.

1520
00:41:54,077 --> 00:41:55,277
It's holding money over

1521
00:41:55,277 --> 00:41:57,398
you and it's tough.

1522
00:41:57,850 --> 00:41:59,976
your fiance refuses premarital

1523
00:41:59,976 --> 00:42:02,196
counseling because we're fine.

1524
00:42:02,256 --> 00:42:02,946
It doesn't even matter

1525
00:42:02,946 --> 00:42:03,756
what the rest of it is.

1526
00:42:03,846 --> 00:42:04,866
Immediate red flag

1527
00:42:04,866 --> 00:42:05,466
immediately.

1528
00:42:06,185 --> 00:42:07,892
Refuses for marital counseling.

1529
00:42:07,982 --> 00:42:08,342
Red flag.

1530
00:42:08,342 --> 00:42:09,392
But what is the rest of it?

1531
00:42:09,614 --> 00:42:11,564
It just, he says because we're fine

1532
00:42:11,670 --> 00:42:13,290
or I should say, they say we're fine.

1533
00:42:13,590 --> 00:42:13,830
Yeah.

1534
00:42:13,830 --> 00:42:14,910
Red, red, red, red.

1535
00:42:15,060 --> 00:42:15,300
Yeah.

1536
00:42:15,330 --> 00:42:15,900
Bright ride.

1537
00:42:16,059 --> 00:42:18,328
they want a huge wedding, but you'd

1538
00:42:18,328 --> 00:42:20,398
rather elope and they dismiss you.

1539
00:42:20,862 --> 00:42:23,039
The dismissing itself is a red flag.

1540
00:42:23,113 --> 00:42:25,382
the disagreeing isn't a red flag,

1541
00:42:25,382 --> 00:42:27,212
but the dismissing is a red flag.

1542
00:42:27,332 --> 00:42:27,662
Yeah.

1543
00:42:27,842 --> 00:42:28,292
Agree.

1544
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,637
Your fiance wants their ex invited to

1545
00:42:30,637 --> 00:42:32,467
the wedding to keep things peaceful.

1546
00:42:33,174 --> 00:42:34,404
I need a little more context.

1547
00:42:34,404 --> 00:42:36,444
If it's the ex and it's like their

1548
00:42:36,474 --> 00:42:38,844
child's parent mom or something, and

1549
00:42:38,844 --> 00:42:40,524
they like, okay, I could understand

1550
00:42:40,524 --> 00:42:42,144
that situation, but if it's just

1551
00:42:42,144 --> 00:42:43,794
like their ex and they have no other

1552
00:42:43,794 --> 00:42:45,654
ties to each other, immediate, no.

1553
00:42:46,044 --> 00:42:46,464
Right.

1554
00:42:46,535 --> 00:42:47,765
I know the first thing that pops into my

1555
00:42:47,765 --> 00:42:49,775
mind is like the mother-in-law still gets

1556
00:42:49,775 --> 00:42:51,485
along with the ex and just and wants her.

1557
00:42:51,515 --> 00:42:53,136
'cause I've read it's outrageous

1558
00:42:53,136 --> 00:42:53,676
the number of stories.

1559
00:42:53,861 --> 00:42:55,116
You have read a lot of stories like that.

1560
00:42:55,116 --> 00:42:55,206
Yes.

1561
00:42:56,196 --> 00:42:57,516
It blows my mind like that.

1562
00:42:57,516 --> 00:42:58,266
The mother-in-law's, like,

1563
00:42:58,266 --> 00:42:59,106
let's just invite her.

1564
00:42:59,106 --> 00:43:00,366
That's the plus one.

1565
00:43:00,786 --> 00:43:02,274
I'm like, the confessions I get

1566
00:43:02,274 --> 00:43:03,654
on Instagram, which we'll get to,

1567
00:43:03,654 --> 00:43:05,890
but I've gotten multiple that say

1568
00:43:05,950 --> 00:43:10,071
my ex's now ex's mom brought his

1569
00:43:10,071 --> 00:43:12,351
ex as her plus one to the wedding.

1570
00:43:12,351 --> 00:43:13,221
I'm just like, what?

1571
00:43:13,731 --> 00:43:14,121
Wild,

1572
00:43:14,538 --> 00:43:16,510
during conflict, they shut down

1573
00:43:16,510 --> 00:43:18,790
and disappear for hours or days.

1574
00:43:19,634 --> 00:43:22,934
So for hours, I would say that that

1575
00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:25,064
is more of an amber colored flag.

1576
00:43:25,294 --> 00:43:26,548
it's something hopefully that they'll

1577
00:43:26,548 --> 00:43:28,558
be working on disappearing for days

1578
00:43:28,558 --> 00:43:29,563
and you're getting married to them.

1579
00:43:29,563 --> 00:43:30,575
that's a problem.

1580
00:43:30,911 --> 00:43:33,881
so yeah, you know, people have different

1581
00:43:33,881 --> 00:43:35,201
ways of dealing with conflict and

1582
00:43:35,201 --> 00:43:37,241
depending on how they get triggered, if

1583
00:43:37,331 --> 00:43:39,041
they might need to, like, yeah, shutting

1584
00:43:39,041 --> 00:43:40,481
down does sometimes happen, but if

1585
00:43:40,481 --> 00:43:42,620
it literally happens every time, just

1586
00:43:42,620 --> 00:43:44,750
bringing up even something small like,

1587
00:43:44,942 --> 00:43:47,012
Hey babe, I asked you to do the dishes and

1588
00:43:47,012 --> 00:43:48,392
they aren't done and they shut down and

1589
00:43:48,392 --> 00:43:50,342
won't talk for hours, that's a red flag.

1590
00:43:50,347 --> 00:43:50,711
Mm-hmm.

1591
00:43:50,734 --> 00:43:51,184
yeah.

1592
00:43:51,274 --> 00:43:51,814
So

1593
00:43:52,445 --> 00:43:54,515
your fiance has no opinion on

1594
00:43:54,515 --> 00:43:56,205
anything and says whatever you want.

1595
00:43:56,822 --> 00:43:58,352
I would take that as a red flag in my

1596
00:43:58,352 --> 00:43:59,792
relationship because that's not the

1597
00:43:59,792 --> 00:44:01,532
type of person I would want to marry.

1598
00:44:01,802 --> 00:44:03,272
Some people probably would like

1599
00:44:03,272 --> 00:44:04,742
that and like to just be able

1600
00:44:04,742 --> 00:44:05,822
to make all their decisions.

1601
00:44:06,992 --> 00:44:08,915
Apparently the people in the skit that

1602
00:44:08,915 --> 00:44:10,475
you're doing right now, like the sisters,

1603
00:44:10,475 --> 00:44:11,885
they would like that from their partner.

1604
00:44:14,780 --> 00:44:15,275
I know.

1605
00:44:15,275 --> 00:44:15,725
I would

1606
00:44:15,725 --> 00:44:16,220
not like that.

1607
00:44:16,779 --> 00:44:18,069
I know, but especially with

1608
00:44:18,069 --> 00:44:19,869
wedding planning, I feel like

1609
00:44:19,869 --> 00:44:21,249
it shows they don't care.

1610
00:44:21,609 --> 00:44:23,559
But like, again, me, I would be

1611
00:44:23,559 --> 00:44:24,849
like, like there's some things for

1612
00:44:24,849 --> 00:44:26,346
my husband, like when we were wedding

1613
00:44:26,346 --> 00:44:27,703
planning, he was very involved.

1614
00:44:27,703 --> 00:44:29,383
we're making decisions together.

1615
00:44:29,618 --> 00:44:30,818
if he would've ever just brushed

1616
00:44:30,818 --> 00:44:31,988
me off and like, whatever you want,

1617
00:44:31,988 --> 00:44:34,178
I'd been like, this is our wedding.

1618
00:44:34,298 --> 00:44:36,303
But if he was like, oh, I

1619
00:44:36,303 --> 00:44:37,573
don't know, like I trust your

1620
00:44:37,573 --> 00:44:38,953
opinion, so whatever you want.

1621
00:44:38,953 --> 00:44:39,373
I feel like there's

1622
00:44:39,373 --> 00:44:41,173
difference with like tone too

1623
00:44:41,377 --> 00:44:42,277
completely.

1624
00:44:42,367 --> 00:44:42,907
I don't know.

1625
00:44:43,125 --> 00:44:44,774
I also think like there were definitely

1626
00:44:44,774 --> 00:44:47,324
times when I was planning my wedding that.

1627
00:44:47,744 --> 00:44:49,244
Like both of us were kind

1628
00:44:49,244 --> 00:44:50,684
of like, uh, we don't care.

1629
00:44:50,744 --> 00:44:50,804
Yeah.

1630
00:44:50,864 --> 00:44:53,140
But if one partner is constantly

1631
00:44:53,140 --> 00:44:54,790
like, so then neither of us care.

1632
00:44:54,790 --> 00:44:56,410
So you have to decide That

1633
00:44:56,410 --> 00:44:57,820
is a mental load issue now.

1634
00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:58,210
Yes.

1635
00:44:58,210 --> 00:44:59,860
So I think that like,

1636
00:44:59,860 --> 00:45:01,030
that also comes into play.

1637
00:45:01,030 --> 00:45:03,489
And, and the wedding does show how you're

1638
00:45:03,489 --> 00:45:06,099
gonna operate in your marriage too.

1639
00:45:06,099 --> 00:45:07,269
And I feel like that's a thing

1640
00:45:07,269 --> 00:45:08,979
people forget a lot is like, it's

1641
00:45:08,979 --> 00:45:10,269
not about the wedding, it's about

1642
00:45:10,269 --> 00:45:11,469
the marriage and the partnership.

1643
00:45:11,469 --> 00:45:11,889
So

1644
00:45:12,174 --> 00:45:12,464
Yeah.

1645
00:45:12,469 --> 00:45:12,759
Yeah.

1646
00:45:12,759 --> 00:45:14,898
That would be, like, if I had to

1647
00:45:14,955 --> 00:45:16,815
choose red or green, I would choose red

1648
00:45:16,815 --> 00:45:18,525
and that person would not be for me.

1649
00:45:18,615 --> 00:45:18,675
Yeah.

1650
00:45:18,675 --> 00:45:19,815
But maybe for some people, that's

1651
00:45:19,815 --> 00:45:20,955
the relationship they would want.

1652
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,530
Yeah, the wedding is the precursor to

1653
00:45:23,530 --> 00:45:25,330
how the marriage will be, for sure.

1654
00:45:25,403 --> 00:45:28,184
If you have toxic in-laws or issues

1655
00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:30,356
like drama, gonna be a precursor

1656
00:45:30,356 --> 00:45:31,826
for how the marriage is gonna be.

1657
00:45:31,826 --> 00:45:34,035
If your fiance is very passive, I

1658
00:45:34,035 --> 00:45:36,346
had a therapist on, here, Kate Gray,

1659
00:45:36,346 --> 00:45:37,426
like this was probably like six

1660
00:45:37,426 --> 00:45:38,476
months ago now, and we like, were

1661
00:45:38,476 --> 00:45:39,826
talking through one of the stories

1662
00:45:40,048 --> 00:45:41,128
we kind of came to that conclusion.

1663
00:45:41,128 --> 00:45:42,058
We're like, yeah, we're like,

1664
00:45:42,301 --> 00:45:43,681
depending on like how it goes.

1665
00:45:43,681 --> 00:45:45,257
Like, not all scenarios of course, but

1666
00:45:45,497 --> 00:45:48,287
that's gonna be kind of a peek into how

1667
00:45:48,287 --> 00:45:50,207
your relationship might be if you have

1668
00:45:50,207 --> 00:45:52,757
meddling in-laws or meddling siblings

1669
00:45:52,971 --> 00:45:55,071
or, you know, it's only gonna get harder

1670
00:45:55,071 --> 00:45:56,776
if, you move in together, or you have

1671
00:45:56,776 --> 00:45:58,938
children, or you have a career change.

1672
00:45:58,938 --> 00:45:59,868
You know, whatever those things

1673
00:45:59,868 --> 00:46:01,665
are, these things can follow.

1674
00:46:01,665 --> 00:46:03,555
So it's good to like set boundaries

1675
00:46:03,555 --> 00:46:04,912
or nip them in the bud before

1676
00:46:04,912 --> 00:46:06,382
it like happens, you know?

1677
00:46:06,382 --> 00:46:06,832
Mm-hmm.

1678
00:46:07,155 --> 00:46:08,112
okay, last one.

1679
00:46:08,112 --> 00:46:09,222
They get mad if you don't

1680
00:46:09,222 --> 00:46:10,602
text back immediately.

1681
00:46:10,945 --> 00:46:12,355
It's a red flag.

1682
00:46:12,499 --> 00:46:12,859
Yeah.

1683
00:46:12,889 --> 00:46:13,399
Yep.

1684
00:46:13,819 --> 00:46:14,509
I would agree.

1685
00:46:14,653 --> 00:46:14,983
Okay.

1686
00:46:15,185 --> 00:46:16,955
Let's get into this week's story

1687
00:46:16,955 --> 00:46:18,755
so I don't go too over time here.

1688
00:46:19,397 --> 00:46:19,637
Okay.

1689
00:46:19,642 --> 00:46:20,268
Okay, we go.

1690
00:46:20,583 --> 00:46:22,203
This was my first marriage.

1691
00:46:22,293 --> 00:46:24,363
We got divorced 11 months after the

1692
00:46:24,363 --> 00:46:25,953
wedding because he was cheating.

1693
00:46:26,123 --> 00:46:28,163
I got engaged at 26 to a

1694
00:46:28,163 --> 00:46:30,413
man I dated since I was 18.

1695
00:46:30,704 --> 00:46:32,324
From the very beginning, there

1696
00:46:32,324 --> 00:46:33,674
were signs of infidelity.

1697
00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:36,464
He had issues with cheating early on.

1698
00:46:36,794 --> 00:46:37,154
Ooh.

1699
00:46:37,330 --> 00:46:39,610
And being young and naive, I ignored

1700
00:46:39,610 --> 00:46:41,560
it because he always insisted.

1701
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:42,610
He really loved me.

1702
00:46:42,925 --> 00:46:43,945
Looking back now, it

1703
00:46:43,945 --> 00:46:45,265
was clear manipulation.

1704
00:46:45,430 --> 00:46:47,050
mean, that goes right into the gut

1705
00:46:47,050 --> 00:46:48,370
feeling we were talking about earlier.

1706
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:49,120
Yeah.

1707
00:46:49,180 --> 00:46:50,890
You have a gut that it's bad

1708
00:46:50,890 --> 00:46:52,210
or something's not working.

1709
00:46:52,210 --> 00:46:53,950
It's probably right.

1710
00:46:54,230 --> 00:46:56,360
The other thing that I'm immediately

1711
00:46:56,360 --> 00:46:58,370
wondering is like, how old was he?

1712
00:46:58,370 --> 00:46:59,840
She was 18.

1713
00:47:00,111 --> 00:47:02,691
I just have a feeling he was not.

1714
00:47:02,940 --> 00:47:04,797
That I think about that too.

1715
00:47:04,857 --> 00:47:06,777
'cause I've read stories like this before.

1716
00:47:07,033 --> 00:47:08,563
' cause she's saying okay, so she

1717
00:47:08,563 --> 00:47:10,423
was 18 when they started dating

1718
00:47:10,423 --> 00:47:12,823
and then they got engaged at 26

1719
00:47:13,012 --> 00:47:14,872
or she was 26.

1720
00:47:14,897 --> 00:47:15,622
But yeah, she doesn't

1721
00:47:15,622 --> 00:47:16,972
say his age at least yet.

1722
00:47:16,977 --> 00:47:18,232
Yeah, yeah.

1723
00:47:18,569 --> 00:47:19,799
and I'm not going to pretend

1724
00:47:19,799 --> 00:47:21,059
I was perfect either.

1725
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:22,979
Over the years he pushed and

1726
00:47:22,979 --> 00:47:25,404
pushed me to even the score.

1727
00:47:25,624 --> 00:47:26,644
Eventually I did.

1728
00:47:26,644 --> 00:47:27,694
And I'm not proud of it.

1729
00:47:27,955 --> 00:47:28,915
Are they talking about cheating

1730
00:47:29,144 --> 00:47:31,285
or like stepping out in a way.

1731
00:47:31,285 --> 00:47:32,880
Like, but that's a little tricky.

1732
00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:35,190
'cause if he was pushing her to

1733
00:47:35,310 --> 00:47:37,050
be with somebody else, that's not

1734
00:47:37,050 --> 00:47:38,700
really cheating if she is doing it

1735
00:47:38,700 --> 00:47:41,340
because he coerced her to do it.

1736
00:47:41,610 --> 00:47:43,861
It's almost like he felt like he

1737
00:47:43,861 --> 00:47:45,271
almost wanted an excuse to cheat

1738
00:47:45,271 --> 00:47:46,691
more or to be like, well, I.

1739
00:47:47,446 --> 00:47:48,286
Cheat all these times.

1740
00:47:48,286 --> 00:47:50,026
So like you go do it or something.

1741
00:47:50,155 --> 00:47:50,695
Yeah, but

1742
00:47:50,695 --> 00:47:51,240
that's kind of odd.

1743
00:47:51,500 --> 00:47:52,675
That's not really cheating.

1744
00:47:52,675 --> 00:47:54,242
It's almost like a, not

1745
00:47:54,242 --> 00:47:56,642
quite open relationship.

1746
00:47:56,744 --> 00:47:57,374
You're like, it just sounds

1747
00:47:57,374 --> 00:47:59,744
like a very challenging dynamic.

1748
00:47:59,924 --> 00:48:00,614
Yeah.

1749
00:48:00,784 --> 00:48:02,014
It says eventually I did, and I'm

1750
00:48:02,014 --> 00:48:03,514
not proud of it, but that's the kind

1751
00:48:03,514 --> 00:48:05,374
of toxic relationship it had become.

1752
00:48:05,455 --> 00:48:07,195
We were both stuck in a cycle that never

1753
00:48:07,195 --> 00:48:08,995
should have lasted as long as it did.

1754
00:48:09,151 --> 00:48:11,816
When I was 24, he went ring shopping

1755
00:48:11,816 --> 00:48:13,436
and I showed him the exact type of ring.

1756
00:48:13,436 --> 00:48:15,510
I loved custom design, specific

1757
00:48:15,510 --> 00:48:16,560
setting, the whole thing.

1758
00:48:16,813 --> 00:48:17,991
We didn't have a lot of money at

1759
00:48:17,991 --> 00:48:19,131
the time, and I truly would've

1760
00:48:19,131 --> 00:48:20,601
been happy with something simple or

1761
00:48:20,601 --> 00:48:23,030
smaller, but then nothing happened.

1762
00:48:23,404 --> 00:48:25,594
Two years went by and our relationship

1763
00:48:25,594 --> 00:48:27,394
felt like it was stuck on pause.

1764
00:48:27,524 --> 00:48:29,770
I hit the point where I finally had the

1765
00:48:29,929 --> 00:48:31,993
do something or I'm done conversation,

1766
00:48:32,155 --> 00:48:33,642
which how do we feel about that?

1767
00:48:34,396 --> 00:48:35,446
feel like if you have to have

1768
00:48:35,446 --> 00:48:36,496
the do something or I'm done

1769
00:48:36,496 --> 00:48:38,926
conversation that it already is done.

1770
00:48:38,926 --> 00:48:39,886
You don't wanna force

1771
00:48:39,886 --> 00:48:41,280
somebody to get married.

1772
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,022
it sounds like this relationship has a

1773
00:48:43,022 --> 00:48:45,182
lot of coercion in it, and that's just

1774
00:48:45,182 --> 00:48:48,062
never gonna be able to be redeemed.

1775
00:48:48,177 --> 00:48:48,387
Yes,

1776
00:48:48,387 --> 00:48:49,137
unfortunately.

1777
00:48:49,347 --> 00:48:50,187
Absolutely.

1778
00:48:50,473 --> 00:48:51,553
He didn't respond.

1779
00:48:51,553 --> 00:48:53,143
So I packed up and moved

1780
00:48:53,143 --> 00:48:54,967
out thinking, this is it.

1781
00:48:55,173 --> 00:48:56,463
I'm actually done this time.

1782
00:48:56,614 --> 00:48:58,984
But then he begged me to come back and

1783
00:48:58,984 --> 00:49:01,234
about four months later we got engaged.

1784
00:49:01,391 --> 00:49:02,951
He was the man I couldn't quit.

1785
00:49:03,221 --> 00:49:06,491
Tall blue eyes and 100% toxic.

1786
00:49:06,776 --> 00:49:08,561
We were like fire and gasoline.

1787
00:49:08,817 --> 00:49:10,557
He ended up designing the custom ring.

1788
00:49:10,617 --> 00:49:11,577
I had fallen in love with

1789
00:49:11,577 --> 00:49:13,391
years earlier when I brought

1790
00:49:13,391 --> 00:49:14,711
the ring home to show my mom.

1791
00:49:14,711 --> 00:49:16,091
At first, she acted thrilled.

1792
00:49:16,271 --> 00:49:17,891
My sister wasn't shocked at all.

1793
00:49:18,079 --> 00:49:19,126
She'd known I loved that

1794
00:49:19,126 --> 00:49:20,716
design since I was 16.

1795
00:49:20,986 --> 00:49:22,396
I'd always joked I just

1796
00:49:22,396 --> 00:49:23,866
needed to find the man.

1797
00:49:24,157 --> 00:49:25,687
I should mention my parents aren't

1798
00:49:25,687 --> 00:49:28,020
together and the man my mother destroyed

1799
00:49:28,020 --> 00:49:30,180
our family for, he was married.

1800
00:49:30,690 --> 00:49:32,130
So this is like a cycle.

1801
00:49:32,130 --> 00:49:32,190
Hmm.

1802
00:49:33,090 --> 00:49:33,510
Okay.

1803
00:49:33,767 --> 00:49:37,937
my mom was the other woman for 10 years.

1804
00:49:38,282 --> 00:49:38,662
Oh wow.

1805
00:49:38,662 --> 00:49:38,747
Oh my

1806
00:49:39,147 --> 00:49:39,237
Oh my

1807
00:49:39,237 --> 00:49:39,517
gosh.

1808
00:49:39,684 --> 00:49:40,854
I just talked to a friend of mine

1809
00:49:40,854 --> 00:49:41,934
that's a therapist, and you might

1810
00:49:41,934 --> 00:49:43,014
have seen this in your work too, but

1811
00:49:43,014 --> 00:49:44,694
she, you might know the name of it.

1812
00:49:44,694 --> 00:49:45,774
I can't think of the name, but there's

1813
00:49:45,774 --> 00:49:49,009
like a study about like, looking at cycles

1814
00:49:49,369 --> 00:49:51,169
of like trauma, trauma, intergenerational

1815
00:49:51,169 --> 00:49:51,499
cycles,

1816
00:49:51,499 --> 00:49:53,029
intergenerational like trauma and stuff.

1817
00:49:53,029 --> 00:49:53,689
And she's like.

1818
00:49:53,816 --> 00:49:54,959
Like if there's like cheating in

1819
00:49:54,959 --> 00:49:56,579
a lineage, like it's very common.

1820
00:49:56,579 --> 00:49:58,889
Like if a mom was cheated on, maybe her

1821
00:49:58,889 --> 00:50:00,347
mom was cheated on, it's just like this

1822
00:50:00,347 --> 00:50:01,817
interesting thing of like, you don't

1823
00:50:01,817 --> 00:50:03,977
think like, oh, because I was cheated

1824
00:50:03,977 --> 00:50:05,447
on maybe my mom, you know, or whatever.

1825
00:50:05,447 --> 00:50:08,683
Or she had breast cancer because

1826
00:50:08,713 --> 00:50:10,153
she had this hap, you know, it's

1827
00:50:10,153 --> 00:50:11,473
just this interesting lineage.

1828
00:50:11,473 --> 00:50:11,483
Mm-hmm.

1829
00:50:11,563 --> 00:50:12,313
You can see.

1830
00:50:12,461 --> 00:50:13,450
So when I just saw that, that's

1831
00:50:13,450 --> 00:50:14,620
kinda what made me think of it as,

1832
00:50:14,620 --> 00:50:16,150
I was like, oh, she's kinda looking

1833
00:50:16,150 --> 00:50:17,950
back and it's like, oh, her mom was.

1834
00:50:18,214 --> 00:50:19,024
In a relationship where

1835
00:50:19,024 --> 00:50:20,404
a man was cheating.

1836
00:50:20,854 --> 00:50:21,244
Yeah.

1837
00:50:21,244 --> 00:50:23,850
It sounds like the person at this, while

1838
00:50:23,850 --> 00:50:25,560
she maybe didn't have the awareness

1839
00:50:25,590 --> 00:50:27,540
when she was going through it at where

1840
00:50:27,540 --> 00:50:29,250
she's writing to you right now, sounds

1841
00:50:29,250 --> 00:50:31,110
like she does have a lot more awareness.

1842
00:50:31,140 --> 00:50:31,470
Mm-hmm.

1843
00:50:31,770 --> 00:50:32,220
Yeah.

1844
00:50:32,220 --> 00:50:32,230
Yeah.

1845
00:50:32,310 --> 00:50:33,420
That's what I'm getting to.

1846
00:50:33,420 --> 00:50:35,153
That around Christmas that year,

1847
00:50:35,153 --> 00:50:36,563
my sister came to visit and my

1848
00:50:36,593 --> 00:50:38,663
mom was showing off new jewelry.

1849
00:50:38,797 --> 00:50:41,147
It was basically my engagement ring

1850
00:50:41,272 --> 00:50:43,037
Oh, oh no.

1851
00:50:43,277 --> 00:50:43,997
Oh, red

1852
00:50:43,997 --> 00:50:45,292
flag that I'm

1853
00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:45,772
not okay

1854
00:50:45,772 --> 00:50:46,012
with that.

1855
00:50:46,277 --> 00:50:47,417
This came outta left field.

1856
00:50:47,417 --> 00:50:49,247
I thought this was be all about the guy.

1857
00:50:49,543 --> 00:50:51,973
same design, same setting.

1858
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,470
Only hers was yellow gold with

1859
00:50:54,470 --> 00:50:56,360
yellowish diamonds instead of white.

1860
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,890
When I confronted her, she told me it

1861
00:50:58,890 --> 00:51:01,146
was completely different and that I was

1862
00:51:01,146 --> 00:51:03,496
being dramatic, but it wasn't different.

1863
00:51:03,676 --> 00:51:05,523
It was identical right

1864
00:51:05,523 --> 00:51:06,453
down to the setting.

1865
00:51:07,126 --> 00:51:07,686
I was furious.

1866
00:51:07,806 --> 00:51:09,581
I feel sorry for her.

1867
00:51:09,761 --> 00:51:11,291
No, imagine like that's your

1868
00:51:11,291 --> 00:51:13,361
moment of like being so excited.

1869
00:51:13,605 --> 00:51:15,225
Obviously the relationship has its

1870
00:51:15,255 --> 00:51:17,848
issues it's toxic, but that aside, right?

1871
00:51:17,848 --> 00:51:17,908
Yeah.

1872
00:51:18,478 --> 00:51:19,888
She's so excited and the mom's

1873
00:51:19,888 --> 00:51:21,388
like, you know what, I'm gonna go

1874
00:51:21,388 --> 00:51:22,648
out and get myself the exact same.

1875
00:51:22,905 --> 00:51:24,045
And it was her custom

1876
00:51:24,045 --> 00:51:25,545
design and everything.

1877
00:51:25,545 --> 00:51:27,454
Like, how can you say it's

1878
00:51:27,454 --> 00:51:28,744
different if it's like, oh, we

1879
00:51:28,744 --> 00:51:31,594
both had, a single solitaire, like

1880
00:51:31,788 --> 00:51:33,528
princess cut is the exact same.

1881
00:51:33,528 --> 00:51:34,068
Like, okay.

1882
00:51:34,068 --> 00:51:35,838
But no, it sounds like this person

1883
00:51:35,838 --> 00:51:38,098
created some whole special design,

1884
00:51:38,098 --> 00:51:40,108
special setting, her own vision

1885
00:51:40,108 --> 00:51:42,058
that she's wanted since she was 16.

1886
00:51:42,374 --> 00:51:43,664
They had it custom made.

1887
00:51:43,904 --> 00:51:44,354
Mm.

1888
00:51:44,624 --> 00:51:44,954
Yeah.

1889
00:51:44,954 --> 00:51:45,764
I don't believe the mom,

1890
00:51:46,334 --> 00:51:47,894
it's a little interesting.

1891
00:51:47,924 --> 00:51:48,734
Yeah.

1892
00:51:48,824 --> 00:51:48,884
She

1893
00:51:49,364 --> 00:51:50,714
said, I was furious.

1894
00:51:50,774 --> 00:51:52,754
My sister immediately told her she

1895
00:51:52,754 --> 00:51:54,404
should never wear it again because it

1896
00:51:54,404 --> 00:51:56,504
was a blatant copy and incredibly rude.

1897
00:51:56,534 --> 00:51:57,524
Good for the sister.

1898
00:51:57,701 --> 00:51:57,971
Yes.

1899
00:51:57,971 --> 00:51:59,771
My mom got angry and said she

1900
00:51:59,771 --> 00:52:01,691
wouldn't wear it on my day.

1901
00:52:01,798 --> 00:52:03,988
Fast forward to about one or two

1902
00:52:03,988 --> 00:52:06,001
months before my wedding planning was

1903
00:52:06,001 --> 00:52:08,214
going pretty well until my mom showed

1904
00:52:08,214 --> 00:52:10,374
me what she was planning to wear.

1905
00:52:10,618 --> 00:52:11,488
Here we go.

1906
00:52:11,601 --> 00:52:12,441
Wait, and I didn't notice.

1907
00:52:12,441 --> 00:52:13,671
So it says the mom.

1908
00:52:13,751 --> 00:52:15,671
okay, so the mom destroyed her family, so

1909
00:52:15,671 --> 00:52:17,741
I'm guessing she was also married, cheated

1910
00:52:17,741 --> 00:52:19,841
with this man who was also married.

1911
00:52:19,841 --> 00:52:20,171
Right.

1912
00:52:20,171 --> 00:52:21,281
Sounds like they were both married

1913
00:52:21,491 --> 00:52:22,596
because she said, my mom just started

1914
00:52:22,601 --> 00:52:24,611
her marriage for 10 years, meaning

1915
00:52:24,611 --> 00:52:26,291
that she never got married to this man.

1916
00:52:26,524 --> 00:52:28,414
what my intuition is saying, she's

1917
00:52:28,414 --> 00:52:29,764
jealous now that her daughter's getting

1918
00:52:29,764 --> 00:52:32,374
married to this man, which she is been

1919
00:52:32,374 --> 00:52:34,294
the other woman all these years, right?

1920
00:52:34,324 --> 00:52:34,834
Yeah.

1921
00:52:35,063 --> 00:52:36,713
it says, I go to her house and she

1922
00:52:36,713 --> 00:52:39,969
proudly pulls out a garment bag, a white

1923
00:52:40,116 --> 00:52:43,729
garment bag inside was a white gown.

1924
00:52:43,926 --> 00:52:44,586
Just when I think

1925
00:52:44,586 --> 00:52:46,656
she knows exactly what she is doing,

1926
00:52:46,656 --> 00:52:49,176
she knows exactly what she is doing.

1927
00:52:49,266 --> 00:52:52,026
No one is that naive to be

1928
00:52:52,026 --> 00:52:52,356
like,

1929
00:52:52,386 --> 00:52:53,856
oh, you can't wear, you can wear a

1930
00:52:53,856 --> 00:52:55,686
white dress to your daughter's wedding.

1931
00:52:55,686 --> 00:52:55,926
What?

1932
00:52:56,488 --> 00:52:57,568
my ring's different.

1933
00:52:57,568 --> 00:53:00,041
What her excuse was, you're

1934
00:53:00,041 --> 00:53:01,391
doing a black and white wedding.

1935
00:53:01,421 --> 00:53:03,071
What color am I supposed to wear?

1936
00:53:03,214 --> 00:53:04,084
Oh my God,

1937
00:53:04,258 --> 00:53:06,568
my sister and I immediately shut it down

1938
00:53:06,568 --> 00:53:08,518
and forced her to find something else.

1939
00:53:08,784 --> 00:53:09,954
The disappointing part.

1940
00:53:10,208 --> 00:53:12,178
The next dress she chose was

1941
00:53:12,178 --> 00:53:13,948
literally the same dress my

1942
00:53:13,948 --> 00:53:15,898
stepmom had already purchased.

1943
00:53:16,058 --> 00:53:17,408
Thankfully my stepmom is an

1944
00:53:17,408 --> 00:53:18,668
angel and just picked another

1945
00:53:18,668 --> 00:53:20,138
dress without making it a thing.

1946
00:53:20,354 --> 00:53:21,584
That is an angel.

1947
00:53:21,584 --> 00:53:23,204
I'm glad this person has her

1948
00:53:23,204 --> 00:53:25,424
sister, her stepmom, like people

1949
00:53:25,424 --> 00:53:27,524
in her corner who seem to get it.

1950
00:53:27,554 --> 00:53:29,354
Her mom is a problem for sure.

1951
00:53:29,354 --> 00:53:29,894
Yes.

1952
00:53:30,101 --> 00:53:30,341
Yeah.

1953
00:53:30,341 --> 00:53:31,751
You need those people to like

1954
00:53:31,751 --> 00:53:33,751
not add more gasoline to the

1955
00:53:33,751 --> 00:53:35,221
fire like she was saying earlier.

1956
00:53:35,251 --> 00:53:35,341
Mm-hmm.

1957
00:53:35,581 --> 00:53:37,434
Just to kind of be like, and I know some

1958
00:53:37,434 --> 00:53:38,964
people get mad in the story sometimes when

1959
00:53:38,964 --> 00:53:41,251
I'm like you can keep the peace, like it's

1960
00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:42,631
protecting your boundaries in some ways.

1961
00:53:42,631 --> 00:53:42,961
Right?

1962
00:53:43,231 --> 00:53:44,611
Keeping the peace doesn't necessarily

1963
00:53:44,611 --> 00:53:45,721
mean you're hurting yourself.

1964
00:53:45,721 --> 00:53:46,651
It just means like.

1965
00:53:46,856 --> 00:53:48,326
Not igniting more, because I think there's

1966
00:53:48,326 --> 00:53:50,071
some people that thrive off the drama.

1967
00:53:50,251 --> 00:53:50,520
Mm-hmm.

1968
00:53:50,672 --> 00:53:51,752
And they want to start

1969
00:53:51,752 --> 00:53:52,827
more drama, you know?

1970
00:53:52,832 --> 00:53:54,136
So I feel like they were very

1971
00:53:54,136 --> 00:53:54,976
smart about like, you know what?

1972
00:53:55,036 --> 00:53:55,636
We're not gonna even

1973
00:53:55,636 --> 00:53:56,776
bring it to her attention.

1974
00:53:56,926 --> 00:53:58,276
Let's just change the dress.

1975
00:53:58,306 --> 00:53:58,666
You know?

1976
00:53:58,906 --> 00:53:59,266
Yeah.

1977
00:53:59,266 --> 00:54:00,646
Or the bride could have gone to the

1978
00:54:00,646 --> 00:54:02,926
stepmom being like really upset, and the

1979
00:54:02,926 --> 00:54:05,012
stepmom being like, I don't care enough.

1980
00:54:05,012 --> 00:54:06,752
I wanna solve this problem for you.

1981
00:54:06,752 --> 00:54:08,312
The way that I wanna solve it is

1982
00:54:08,312 --> 00:54:10,082
by getting a different dress and

1983
00:54:10,082 --> 00:54:11,792
not engaging with your mom, and

1984
00:54:11,792 --> 00:54:13,082
then take this off your plate.

1985
00:54:13,082 --> 00:54:14,672
So it's like up to the stepmom to make

1986
00:54:14,672 --> 00:54:16,472
that decision to brag just out of it.

1987
00:54:16,472 --> 00:54:17,702
And that's like, those are the

1988
00:54:17,702 --> 00:54:18,932
people you need when you're.

1989
00:54:19,106 --> 00:54:20,456
Going through stuff like this?

1990
00:54:20,596 --> 00:54:21,916
Yeah, 100%.

1991
00:54:22,029 --> 00:54:23,499
my bridesmaids couldn't decide on

1992
00:54:23,499 --> 00:54:25,119
a dress, so I told them to pick

1993
00:54:25,119 --> 00:54:27,129
whatever style they wanted as long as

1994
00:54:27,129 --> 00:54:29,162
it was black and church appropriate.

1995
00:54:29,162 --> 00:54:30,332
Since I was having a church

1996
00:54:30,332 --> 00:54:32,139
wedding, I recommended tea length

1997
00:54:32,139 --> 00:54:33,639
because it was popular at the time.

1998
00:54:33,877 --> 00:54:35,647
When it came to shoes, I asked for their

1999
00:54:35,647 --> 00:54:38,368
input and only one had an opinion silver.

2000
00:54:38,482 --> 00:54:40,162
So I said, okay, silver, it is.

2001
00:54:40,192 --> 00:54:41,362
I truly thought I was being

2002
00:54:41,362 --> 00:54:43,125
accommodating, but somehow I

2003
00:54:43,125 --> 00:54:44,985
still got labeled as a Bridezilla.

2004
00:54:45,165 --> 00:54:47,724
Then the guest drama, one bridesmaid,

2005
00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:49,764
let's call her the bridesmaid,

2006
00:54:50,021 --> 00:54:52,121
was single and not dating anyone

2007
00:54:52,294 --> 00:54:53,764
since the wedding was outta state.

2008
00:54:53,824 --> 00:54:54,934
I asked my aunts if she

2009
00:54:54,934 --> 00:54:56,044
should get a plus one.

2010
00:54:56,254 --> 00:54:58,384
They said no, so I didn't give her one.

2011
00:54:58,514 --> 00:54:59,864
She decided she was bringing

2012
00:54:59,864 --> 00:55:02,111
someone anyway, a woman friend

2013
00:55:02,111 --> 00:55:03,731
of hers I'd never even met.

2014
00:55:03,881 --> 00:55:06,611
Luckily, I was able to accommodate it last

2015
00:55:06,611 --> 00:55:08,201
minute since a few people didn't show up.

2016
00:55:08,401 --> 00:55:09,961
Again, she was just like, you know what?

2017
00:55:09,961 --> 00:55:11,131
It's annoying, but whatever.

2018
00:55:11,131 --> 00:55:11,971
We're just gonna make it work.

2019
00:55:12,171 --> 00:55:13,341
I feel like personally, if someone

2020
00:55:13,341 --> 00:55:15,454
was flying into my wedding, I would

2021
00:55:15,454 --> 00:55:16,924
probably give them a plus one.

2022
00:55:17,098 --> 00:55:19,288
But also like, if you're in a wedding,

2023
00:55:19,481 --> 00:55:20,928
like you're not gonna really be seeing

2024
00:55:20,928 --> 00:55:22,368
your plus one that much until the date.

2025
00:55:22,368 --> 00:55:24,228
You don't have that much time usually.

2026
00:55:24,258 --> 00:55:24,678
Yeah.

2027
00:55:24,678 --> 00:55:26,713
And it probably also just depends on like

2028
00:55:26,866 --> 00:55:29,446
the other people in the bridal party.

2029
00:55:29,446 --> 00:55:31,156
Like if everybody is basically

2030
00:55:31,156 --> 00:55:33,136
single, then it doesn't matter.

2031
00:55:33,136 --> 00:55:34,096
Just like, let everybody

2032
00:55:34,096 --> 00:55:35,266
just come by themselves.

2033
00:55:35,403 --> 00:55:35,853
Yeah.

2034
00:55:36,053 --> 00:55:37,823
dinner was catered by a super talented

2035
00:55:37,823 --> 00:55:40,343
chef who was a close friend with my ex,

2036
00:55:40,529 --> 00:55:42,619
but at last minute he decided to bread

2037
00:55:42,619 --> 00:55:44,573
the chicken that mattered because the

2038
00:55:44,573 --> 00:55:47,717
bridesmaid had celiac disease she accused

2039
00:55:47,717 --> 00:55:50,297
me of trying to poison her on purpose.

2040
00:55:50,550 --> 00:55:50,910
Okay.

2041
00:55:50,910 --> 00:55:52,200
It looks more red flags.

2042
00:55:52,410 --> 00:55:53,735
Yeah, because like, it's not like.

2043
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:55,975
She snuck like something in there,

2044
00:55:55,975 --> 00:55:57,265
like you can see it's breaded.

2045
00:55:57,402 --> 00:55:58,542
So like, okay, let's figure

2046
00:55:58,542 --> 00:55:59,802
it out and get something else.

2047
00:56:00,172 --> 00:56:00,352
Oh my God.

2048
00:56:00,352 --> 00:56:02,002
Well also a huge red flag on

2049
00:56:02,002 --> 00:56:03,952
the chef 'cause that's not okay.

2050
00:56:04,012 --> 00:56:04,102
Oh no.

2051
00:56:04,102 --> 00:56:06,952
It's to change the menu and Yeah,

2052
00:56:07,136 --> 00:56:08,336
especially with something like

2053
00:56:08,336 --> 00:56:09,506
that where it's literally going

2054
00:56:09,506 --> 00:56:11,816
from not gluten to having gluten.

2055
00:56:12,626 --> 00:56:13,526
That's a big note.

2056
00:56:13,736 --> 00:56:15,176
It makes me wonder if it was one of

2057
00:56:15,176 --> 00:56:16,256
those things where it's like, because

2058
00:56:16,256 --> 00:56:17,966
it's a friend of the ex, if they're

2059
00:56:17,966 --> 00:56:19,944
like, just make us whatever, there was

2060
00:56:19,944 --> 00:56:21,744
nothing actually set in stone or the

2061
00:56:21,744 --> 00:56:23,994
guy's like, oh, I gave them a discount

2062
00:56:23,994 --> 00:56:26,034
so I can just make whatever I want.

2063
00:56:26,252 --> 00:56:27,572
I always say that's a problem with hiring

2064
00:56:27,572 --> 00:56:29,655
friends sometimes is because there's

2065
00:56:29,655 --> 00:56:31,365
not always a contract and they're not

2066
00:56:31,365 --> 00:56:33,585
always taken as seriously on both sides.

2067
00:56:33,585 --> 00:56:35,295
I've seen both kinds of stories.

2068
00:56:35,548 --> 00:56:36,238
yeah, it makes me kind of

2069
00:56:36,238 --> 00:56:37,198
wonder what happened there.

2070
00:56:37,322 --> 00:56:38,882
She said, yes, seriously.

2071
00:56:38,882 --> 00:56:40,322
She left before the cake cutting

2072
00:56:40,352 --> 00:56:41,792
and made a big show of it, like I

2073
00:56:41,792 --> 00:56:43,532
was some evil mastermind plotting

2074
00:56:43,539 --> 00:56:45,911
her downfall with breadcrumbs also.

2075
00:56:45,911 --> 00:56:46,841
Why would you immediately be

2076
00:56:46,841 --> 00:56:47,591
like, oh, it's the bride's

2077
00:56:47,591 --> 00:56:48,821
fault she's trying to kill me.

2078
00:56:48,821 --> 00:56:49,091
Like,

2079
00:56:49,271 --> 00:56:49,901
right.

2080
00:56:49,901 --> 00:56:51,281
That would never be my first instinct.

2081
00:56:51,281 --> 00:56:52,271
I'd be like, oh, they made a mistake.

2082
00:56:52,271 --> 00:56:54,085
Same like I was vegetarian for years.

2083
00:56:54,085 --> 00:56:54,985
I know it's not the same thing.

2084
00:56:54,985 --> 00:56:56,815
I chose that it wasn't allergic

2085
00:56:56,815 --> 00:56:58,475
or had issues, but like I

2086
00:56:58,475 --> 00:56:59,345
was vegetarian for years.

2087
00:56:59,457 --> 00:57:00,931
How many times I get served.

2088
00:57:01,153 --> 00:57:02,443
Food at restaurants with meat,

2089
00:57:02,473 --> 00:57:04,133
or I'd go to someone's house and

2090
00:57:04,133 --> 00:57:04,823
they'd gimme something with meat.

2091
00:57:04,823 --> 00:57:05,873
I would never be like, oh my gosh,

2092
00:57:05,873 --> 00:57:08,163
you tried making me eat animals?

2093
00:57:08,163 --> 00:57:10,593
Like, that's not my first thought.

2094
00:57:10,923 --> 00:57:13,173
No, so I do actually have

2095
00:57:13,173 --> 00:57:14,703
a lot of food allergies.

2096
00:57:14,763 --> 00:57:17,313
and this can be difficult as a wedding

2097
00:57:17,313 --> 00:57:18,859
guest because a lot of times I'm

2098
00:57:18,889 --> 00:57:20,959
like, I literally cannot eat anything.

2099
00:57:21,169 --> 00:57:23,299
But depending on the whose wedding

2100
00:57:23,299 --> 00:57:24,919
it is, I'll ask them, especially

2101
00:57:24,919 --> 00:57:26,779
if it's like way in advance I'll

2102
00:57:26,779 --> 00:57:28,149
be like, I have food allergies.

2103
00:57:28,149 --> 00:57:29,859
How would you like me to handle it?

2104
00:57:30,006 --> 00:57:31,146
Like, do you want me to tell

2105
00:57:31,146 --> 00:57:31,956
you, do you want me to talk

2106
00:57:31,956 --> 00:57:33,096
directly to a wedding planner?

2107
00:57:33,096 --> 00:57:34,536
Do you want me to talk directly to a chef?

2108
00:57:34,536 --> 00:57:36,336
Do you want me to just bring my own food?

2109
00:57:36,516 --> 00:57:37,926
Like, what do you want me to do?

2110
00:57:37,926 --> 00:57:39,139
I wouldn't, because I don't wanna

2111
00:57:39,139 --> 00:57:40,879
put more on the bride in the groom,

2112
00:57:40,909 --> 00:57:42,134
or whoever's getting married.

2113
00:57:42,224 --> 00:57:43,051
Like, no.

2114
00:57:43,051 --> 00:57:45,644
And I would never assume that if somebody

2115
00:57:45,644 --> 00:57:47,731
served me something that I was allergic

2116
00:57:47,731 --> 00:57:50,161
to, that the people who invited me to

2117
00:57:50,161 --> 00:57:52,914
their wedding were like, let's kill Beth.

2118
00:57:53,064 --> 00:57:53,664
Like what?

2119
00:57:54,683 --> 00:57:55,433
Yes.

2120
00:57:55,463 --> 00:57:55,973
I know.

2121
00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:57,756
It's like, so she already had

2122
00:57:57,756 --> 00:57:59,816
some kind of thing against her.

2123
00:58:00,266 --> 00:58:00,866
Yeah.

2124
00:58:00,896 --> 00:58:01,166
Yeah.

2125
00:58:01,166 --> 00:58:01,256
She

2126
00:58:01,256 --> 00:58:02,366
shouldn't have been in the wedding.

2127
00:58:02,366 --> 00:58:02,696
She should.

2128
00:58:02,696 --> 00:58:03,986
I feel like we need to normalize

2129
00:58:03,986 --> 00:58:05,636
people saying no when they don't

2130
00:58:05,636 --> 00:58:07,246
support the bride and groom.

2131
00:58:07,436 --> 00:58:07,676
Yes.

2132
00:58:07,676 --> 00:58:09,056
Like if you don't want to

2133
00:58:09,056 --> 00:58:12,430
be in the wedding, say no.

2134
00:58:12,546 --> 00:58:12,786
Yeah.

2135
00:58:12,786 --> 00:58:14,616
Just save everybody the headache later.

2136
00:58:15,006 --> 00:58:16,776
Really don't need to sabotage it or say

2137
00:58:16,776 --> 00:58:18,943
something rude, just like, no thank you.

2138
00:58:19,093 --> 00:58:19,723
It's okay.

2139
00:58:19,903 --> 00:58:20,413
We'll move on.

2140
00:58:20,743 --> 00:58:22,093
Yes, exactly.

2141
00:58:22,233 --> 00:58:24,065
during the toast, my ex's brother

2142
00:58:24,095 --> 00:58:26,045
stood up after drinking for what

2143
00:58:26,050 --> 00:58:28,145
felt like six straight hours and

2144
00:58:28,145 --> 00:58:30,515
gave a completely incoherent speech.

2145
00:58:30,711 --> 00:58:32,601
At some point, he dumped alcohol

2146
00:58:32,601 --> 00:58:34,251
on his pregnant sister-in-law.

2147
00:58:34,385 --> 00:58:36,005
Then he smashed a glass on the

2148
00:58:36,005 --> 00:58:38,565
floor to celebrate expected

2149
00:58:38,565 --> 00:58:40,095
everyone else to do the same.

2150
00:58:41,055 --> 00:58:42,945
We had him escorted out.

2151
00:58:43,185 --> 00:58:43,545
Okay.

2152
00:58:43,545 --> 00:58:45,079
I'm glad that, that they handled it.

2153
00:58:45,319 --> 00:58:45,854
Yeah, they handled it.

2154
00:58:46,292 --> 00:58:48,092
But somehow he came back,

2155
00:58:48,452 --> 00:58:48,917
oh my gosh.

2156
00:58:49,142 --> 00:58:50,522
A week before my wedding.

2157
00:58:50,709 --> 00:58:51,939
Okay, so now we're going back a week.

2158
00:58:52,106 --> 00:58:54,386
My mom and her married boyfriend

2159
00:58:54,516 --> 00:58:56,886
broke up because he wanted us to

2160
00:58:56,886 --> 00:58:58,776
remove people from the guest list.

2161
00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:01,002
People who knew him, knew his

2162
00:59:01,002 --> 00:59:02,952
wife, and could expose him.

2163
00:59:03,139 --> 00:59:04,279
Maybe you just shouldn't come and

2164
00:59:04,279 --> 00:59:05,329
maybe you just shouldn't cheat.

2165
00:59:05,526 --> 00:59:05,766
Like

2166
00:59:05,826 --> 00:59:06,456
yeah.

2167
00:59:06,662 --> 00:59:07,082
What?

2168
00:59:07,269 --> 00:59:09,211
Imagine having an affair and

2169
00:59:09,211 --> 00:59:10,462
expecting people to change your

2170
00:59:10,462 --> 00:59:11,932
wedding so you don't get caught.

2171
00:59:12,205 --> 00:59:12,505
That's.

2172
00:59:12,660 --> 00:59:13,230
Bonkers.

2173
00:59:13,390 --> 00:59:14,290
Bonkers.

2174
00:59:14,380 --> 00:59:15,340
Oh my gosh.

2175
00:59:15,550 --> 00:59:16,960
so that relationship imploded

2176
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:18,400
right before my wedding, so

2177
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:19,780
I'm sure the mom loved that.

2178
00:59:19,840 --> 00:59:21,370
I was gonna say the mom was gonna

2179
00:59:21,370 --> 00:59:23,290
blame the bribe for that too.

2180
00:59:23,350 --> 00:59:23,440
Mm-hmm.

2181
00:59:23,710 --> 00:59:24,130
Yeah.

2182
00:59:24,130 --> 00:59:25,060
All her fault.

2183
00:59:25,313 --> 00:59:27,443
Meanwhile, my ex didn't speak to his

2184
00:59:27,443 --> 00:59:29,333
own mother and insisted she not be

2185
00:59:29,333 --> 00:59:31,403
invited, but she showed up anyway

2186
00:59:31,403 --> 00:59:33,083
and sat at the back of the church.

2187
00:59:33,271 --> 00:59:34,951
Ironically, though, she was the

2188
00:59:34,951 --> 00:59:36,691
least of my problems that day,

2189
00:59:36,885 --> 00:59:38,925
man, I feel so bad for this bride.

2190
00:59:38,925 --> 00:59:40,335
It's just one thing after the

2191
00:59:40,335 --> 00:59:41,865
other, and it's just like drama

2192
00:59:41,865 --> 00:59:43,545
from like immature people.

2193
00:59:43,665 --> 00:59:44,085
I feel like,

2194
00:59:44,521 --> 00:59:46,051
I also feel like in some ways

2195
00:59:46,051 --> 00:59:47,461
it's the universe maybe being

2196
00:59:47,461 --> 00:59:49,801
like, don't get married.

2197
00:59:50,341 --> 00:59:50,731
Like this

2198
00:59:50,731 --> 00:59:51,121
was

2199
00:59:51,136 --> 00:59:53,461
not, or this wasn't for her.

2200
00:59:53,551 --> 00:59:54,091
Yeah.

2201
00:59:54,091 --> 00:59:55,801
That is such a good point.

2202
00:59:56,051 --> 00:59:57,701
I actually just read one, which

2203
00:59:57,701 --> 00:59:58,841
by the time this comes out, it'll

2204
00:59:58,841 --> 01:00:00,708
probably be like a couple weeks ago.

2205
01:00:00,901 --> 01:00:01,861
It's coming out this week.

2206
01:00:01,861 --> 01:00:03,219
But, it was a similar thing,

2207
01:00:03,219 --> 01:00:04,179
but it was more just drama

2208
01:00:04,179 --> 01:00:05,769
with the caterers and stuff.

2209
01:00:06,109 --> 01:00:07,729
no, was that the one, I read so many

2210
01:00:07,729 --> 01:00:09,019
stories, but there was another one where

2211
01:00:09,100 --> 01:00:11,242
all these bad things kept happening and

2212
01:00:11,242 --> 01:00:12,622
like later on she was like, I think it was

2213
01:00:12,622 --> 01:00:13,972
a sign that like, it wasn't supposed to

2214
01:00:13,972 --> 01:00:16,077
work because literally two years later,

2215
01:00:16,077 --> 01:00:17,807
a year later we got divorced and it was

2216
01:00:17,857 --> 01:00:19,772
like the universe being like, don't do it.

2217
01:00:20,746 --> 01:00:22,546
I do think like every wedding is

2218
01:00:22,546 --> 01:00:24,466
gonna have some things that go wrong.

2219
01:00:24,466 --> 01:00:26,440
And also I feel like at at my first

2220
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:27,949
wedding, like I just knew there was

2221
01:00:27,949 --> 01:00:29,179
gonna be something that would go wrong.

2222
01:00:29,179 --> 01:00:30,199
And even though I didn't know what

2223
01:00:30,199 --> 01:00:31,758
it would be, so then when things

2224
01:00:31,758 --> 01:00:33,258
went wrong, I was like, oh, that's

2225
01:00:33,258 --> 01:00:34,788
not a big, like, okay, of course

2226
01:00:34,968 --> 01:00:36,408
it's not gonna go perfectly.

2227
01:00:36,408 --> 01:00:38,628
And that doesn't in itself mean that

2228
01:00:38,628 --> 01:00:39,888
you're not supposed to get married.

2229
01:00:39,888 --> 01:00:39,978
Right.

2230
01:00:40,246 --> 01:00:42,672
But when it's like every single

2231
01:00:42,672 --> 01:00:45,358
area is so much drama, like there's

2232
01:00:45,358 --> 01:00:46,948
obstacles for a reason sometimes.

2233
01:00:47,222 --> 01:00:49,112
Yeah, I know it's almost like,

2234
01:00:49,202 --> 01:00:50,462
this is like a weird way to put it,

2235
01:00:50,512 --> 01:00:52,132
like the movie Final Destination.

2236
01:00:52,162 --> 01:00:52,312
Okay.

2237
01:00:52,312 --> 01:00:53,452
This is like really a weird way

2238
01:00:53,452 --> 01:00:54,642
to put it, but you know, like, I'm

2239
01:00:54,642 --> 01:00:55,482
excited though

2240
01:00:55,542 --> 01:00:57,522
that the things keep happening to them

2241
01:00:57,522 --> 01:00:58,692
and it's like just keeps happening.

2242
01:00:58,692 --> 01:01:00,138
Obviously this is like, I just feel

2243
01:01:00,138 --> 01:01:01,638
like things are getting in the way of

2244
01:01:01,638 --> 01:01:03,678
making this a beautiful wedding day.

2245
01:01:03,828 --> 01:01:04,158
Yeah.

2246
01:01:04,158 --> 01:01:06,034
And so it's like, where is this leading?

2247
01:01:06,052 --> 01:01:07,642
Like where's the final part

2248
01:01:07,642 --> 01:01:08,722
of this wedding gonna go?

2249
01:01:08,722 --> 01:01:10,542
Because it's like no matter what

2250
01:01:10,542 --> 01:01:11,742
they like, okay, brush aside this

2251
01:01:11,742 --> 01:01:13,002
one thing, they brush aside this,

2252
01:01:13,002 --> 01:01:14,532
but then this other obstacle keeps

2253
01:01:14,532 --> 01:01:16,395
coming that it just, I don't know.

2254
01:01:16,528 --> 01:01:17,038
It's interesting.

2255
01:01:17,068 --> 01:01:17,221
Okay.

2256
01:01:17,221 --> 01:01:18,511
there's just so much to comment on.

2257
01:01:18,801 --> 01:01:19,131
Okay.

2258
01:01:19,423 --> 01:01:21,741
After my ex's brother returned, he found

2259
01:01:21,741 --> 01:01:23,751
more alcohol and started peeing and

2260
01:01:23,751 --> 01:01:26,678
potted plants inside the expensive venue.

2261
01:01:26,982 --> 01:01:29,342
He got thrown out again, but at that

2262
01:01:29,342 --> 01:01:31,142
point everyone was heavily drinking

2263
01:01:31,142 --> 01:01:33,057
and he somehow snuck back in again.

2264
01:01:33,152 --> 01:01:34,622
Okay, this is a problem.

2265
01:01:34,802 --> 01:01:35,337
Send it it home.

2266
01:01:35,337 --> 01:01:35,497
And

2267
01:01:35,497 --> 01:01:35,977
also gross.

2268
01:01:36,375 --> 01:01:37,712
This is like terrible.

2269
01:01:37,922 --> 01:01:39,482
The worst part was that my mother

2270
01:01:39,482 --> 01:01:41,702
disappeared with my ex-husband's

2271
01:01:41,838 --> 01:01:44,192
grandfather, who was nearly 80.

2272
01:01:44,502 --> 01:01:46,992
She denies it to this day, but everyone

2273
01:01:46,992 --> 01:01:48,702
knew something happened either way.

2274
01:01:48,702 --> 01:01:49,362
Disgusting.

2275
01:01:49,808 --> 01:01:51,368
What is happening here?

2276
01:01:51,923 --> 01:01:54,622
My God, by the end of the

2277
01:01:54,622 --> 01:01:56,332
night, the brother was so

2278
01:01:56,332 --> 01:01:57,832
drunk, he could barely stand.

2279
01:01:57,892 --> 01:01:58,462
I'm surprised

2280
01:01:58,462 --> 01:01:59,557
He made it that far.

2281
01:01:59,822 --> 01:02:00,422
Truly.

2282
01:02:00,655 --> 01:02:01,825
His pregnant sister-in-law

2283
01:02:01,825 --> 01:02:03,235
tried taking him back to the

2284
01:02:03,235 --> 01:02:04,945
other place with her partner.

2285
01:02:05,212 --> 01:02:07,236
Instead, he pushed her and got into a

2286
01:02:07,236 --> 01:02:09,216
fist fight with another brother-in-law.

2287
01:02:09,427 --> 01:02:11,377
One of them went through a wall.

2288
01:02:11,590 --> 01:02:13,754
The cops got called and he spent

2289
01:02:13,754 --> 01:02:14,894
the next three days in jail.

2290
01:02:15,107 --> 01:02:17,720
I mean, he needs other consequences

2291
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:20,120
in treatment probably, but yeah.

2292
01:02:20,247 --> 01:02:20,907
Yeah.

2293
01:02:21,083 --> 01:02:22,913
If you are showing up that

2294
01:02:23,030 --> 01:02:25,713
intoxicated and doing all these

2295
01:02:25,713 --> 01:02:27,393
things that that's a problem.

2296
01:02:27,717 --> 01:02:30,297
Fast forward six months into marriage.

2297
01:02:30,477 --> 01:02:32,247
My husband was acting strange,

2298
01:02:32,367 --> 01:02:34,377
secretive, distant off.

2299
01:02:34,618 --> 01:02:35,758
I checked his phone and

2300
01:02:35,758 --> 01:02:36,988
found inappropriate texts

2301
01:02:36,988 --> 01:02:38,698
from at least four women.

2302
01:02:38,911 --> 01:02:41,881
One of them was only 19 years old.

2303
01:02:42,135 --> 01:02:44,295
That goes back to the suspicion from

2304
01:02:44,295 --> 01:02:46,365
earlier of like, is there an age

2305
01:02:46,365 --> 01:02:49,890
difference or does he just like younger.

2306
01:02:50,405 --> 01:02:52,325
that's definitely a problem.

2307
01:02:52,455 --> 01:02:53,805
and it sounds like she had

2308
01:02:54,125 --> 01:02:56,285
intuition or knew of cheating before

2309
01:02:56,285 --> 01:02:57,905
the wedding, but now it's like

2310
01:02:58,078 --> 01:02:58,648
back up.

2311
01:02:58,648 --> 01:02:59,158
Yeah.

2312
01:02:59,345 --> 01:03:01,385
says I confronted her, she said she

2313
01:03:01,385 --> 01:03:03,395
didn't know he was married and told

2314
01:03:03,395 --> 01:03:06,198
me he kept calling her and was eating

2315
01:03:06,198 --> 01:03:08,028
at her restaurant four times a week.

2316
01:03:08,221 --> 01:03:09,841
She promised she'd never speak to him

2317
01:03:09,841 --> 01:03:12,498
again, and weirdly we became friends, not

2318
01:03:12,498 --> 01:03:14,628
close friends, but the kind of bond where

2319
01:03:14,628 --> 01:03:16,248
you feel like you've both been lied to.

2320
01:03:16,458 --> 01:03:17,778
that's happened to me before.

2321
01:03:17,985 --> 01:03:18,435
Okay.

2322
01:03:18,435 --> 01:03:20,355
Because I was that person where, like when

2323
01:03:20,355 --> 01:03:22,785
I was cheated on, I never blamed the woman

2324
01:03:22,785 --> 01:03:25,088
because I was like, she was probably lied

2325
01:03:25,088 --> 01:03:27,818
to from this a-hole just as much as I was.

2326
01:03:28,028 --> 01:03:28,418
Right.

2327
01:03:28,418 --> 01:03:29,468
And so there was like two different

2328
01:03:29,468 --> 01:03:30,428
times where I became friends

2329
01:03:30,428 --> 01:03:32,006
with the women and I'd be like,

2330
01:03:32,079 --> 01:03:33,609
okay, like this is my new friend.

2331
01:03:33,909 --> 01:03:34,719
And I'm like, that would

2332
01:03:34,719 --> 01:03:35,859
probably piss them off more.

2333
01:03:35,859 --> 01:03:37,569
So I like, it was funny.

2334
01:03:37,569 --> 01:03:37,839
Fair enough.

2335
01:03:38,429 --> 01:03:39,329
but she was lying.

2336
01:03:39,389 --> 01:03:39,749
Oh.

2337
01:03:40,019 --> 01:03:41,429
But she was lying to my face.

2338
01:03:42,309 --> 01:03:44,139
He never stopped contacting her.

2339
01:03:44,453 --> 01:03:45,593
And while I believed we were

2340
01:03:45,593 --> 01:03:47,003
working on our marriage, he was

2341
01:03:47,003 --> 01:03:48,833
actively building a life with her.

2342
01:03:49,780 --> 01:03:51,797
after months of struggle, stress,

2343
01:03:51,861 --> 01:03:53,871
sleepless nights, violent fights,

2344
01:03:53,991 --> 01:03:55,341
and dramatic weight loss, I

2345
01:03:55,341 --> 01:03:56,871
finally got the courage to leave.

2346
01:03:57,399 --> 01:03:58,749
About a month after I moved

2347
01:03:58,749 --> 01:04:00,459
out, he moved in with her.

2348
01:04:00,883 --> 01:04:02,509
he sounds like a. Terrible person,

2349
01:04:02,566 --> 01:04:03,526
and THEN THIS is gonna be a

2350
01:04:03,526 --> 01:04:05,176
serial thing that he does.

2351
01:04:05,176 --> 01:04:07,546
The 19-year-old is gonna find

2352
01:04:07,546 --> 01:04:09,196
some other person that he is

2353
01:04:09,196 --> 01:04:10,936
talking to that's younger again.

2354
01:04:10,936 --> 01:04:13,186
And then he'll just keep doing this until

2355
01:04:13,846 --> 01:04:14,656
the end of time.

2356
01:04:14,956 --> 01:04:15,346
Yep.

2357
01:04:15,769 --> 01:04:16,069
Yeah.

2358
01:04:16,159 --> 01:04:18,079
Once I filed for divorce, they announced

2359
01:04:18,079 --> 01:04:20,179
they were expecting their first child.

2360
01:04:20,269 --> 01:04:20,824
Oh no.

2361
01:04:21,139 --> 01:04:23,239
And the photo they used to announce

2362
01:04:23,239 --> 01:04:26,746
it, the shoes he wore at our wedding.

2363
01:04:26,963 --> 01:04:28,343
I wish I was kidding.

2364
01:04:28,669 --> 01:04:29,539
I guess it all worked

2365
01:04:29,539 --> 01:04:30,739
out for them in the end.

2366
01:04:30,916 --> 01:04:32,206
They now have two kids and have

2367
01:04:32,206 --> 01:04:33,646
been married for five years.

2368
01:04:33,956 --> 01:04:35,156
But that relationship taught me a

2369
01:04:35,156 --> 01:04:37,777
lesson I will never forget when someone

2370
01:04:37,777 --> 01:04:39,817
shows you who they are, believe them.

2371
01:04:39,817 --> 01:04:41,017
Believe them.

2372
01:04:41,017 --> 01:04:41,377
Yes.

2373
01:04:41,497 --> 01:04:42,907
honestly, just because they're still

2374
01:04:42,907 --> 01:04:44,557
married doesn't mean that they're happily

2375
01:04:44,557 --> 01:04:46,207
married or that he's not cheating.

2376
01:04:46,440 --> 01:04:46,650
Yeah.

2377
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:46,950
Right.

2378
01:04:46,950 --> 01:04:48,610
Like they could be married and.

2379
01:04:48,722 --> 01:04:50,342
Who knows what he is doing, so,

2380
01:04:50,522 --> 01:04:50,822
right.

2381
01:04:50,822 --> 01:04:51,542
It's like the grass is

2382
01:04:51,542 --> 01:04:52,202
always greener thing.

2383
01:04:52,202 --> 01:04:53,312
You might see him and be like, oh,

2384
01:04:53,312 --> 01:04:54,692
they're like posting these happy

2385
01:04:54,842 --> 01:04:56,612
photos on Facebook or whatever.

2386
01:04:56,612 --> 01:04:57,182
We don't actually

2387
01:04:57,237 --> 01:04:57,527
know.

2388
01:04:57,527 --> 01:04:57,767
Right.

2389
01:04:57,767 --> 01:04:58,292
You don't know what's

2390
01:04:58,292 --> 01:04:59,672
going on behind the scenes.

2391
01:04:59,815 --> 01:05:00,655
Absolutely.

2392
01:05:00,655 --> 01:05:02,335
I'm glad for the person who wrote

2393
01:05:02,335 --> 01:05:03,955
this story in that she's not in that

2394
01:05:03,955 --> 01:05:05,455
relationship anymore and she can

2395
01:05:05,455 --> 01:05:07,285
like see it for what it was, but.

2396
01:05:07,697 --> 01:05:09,737
Yeah, to go through all of that and

2397
01:05:09,737 --> 01:05:11,574
like have this, but I'm sure she looks

2398
01:05:11,574 --> 01:05:12,894
back and she's like, the wedding was

2399
01:05:12,894 --> 01:05:14,994
telling me, don't go through with it.

2400
01:05:14,994 --> 01:05:16,494
Look at all this stuff, walk away.

2401
01:05:16,857 --> 01:05:17,817
she just ends with, I'm

2402
01:05:17,817 --> 01:05:19,107
happily remarried now.

2403
01:05:19,107 --> 01:05:19,137
Okay.

2404
01:05:19,167 --> 01:05:21,387
I no longer speak to my mom that brightly

2405
01:05:21,750 --> 01:05:24,300
or obviously my ex. And honestly,

2406
01:05:24,497 --> 01:05:25,877
this would all make a great story.

2407
01:05:26,277 --> 01:05:27,657
I feel like she needs an award

2408
01:05:27,657 --> 01:05:29,577
for recapping all the things that

2409
01:05:29,577 --> 01:05:31,107
we wanted to know at the end.

2410
01:05:31,386 --> 01:05:33,426
not everyone that writes in does that.

2411
01:05:33,431 --> 01:05:33,511
Yes.

2412
01:05:33,516 --> 01:05:35,196
And sometimes I know, like when

2413
01:05:35,196 --> 01:05:36,756
I'm listening to the episode, I'm

2414
01:05:36,756 --> 01:05:38,303
like, wait, did you cut them off?

2415
01:05:38,303 --> 01:05:39,323
Like, what's happening?

2416
01:05:39,323 --> 01:05:40,493
And I love that this person

2417
01:05:40,493 --> 01:05:41,977
was like, this is what happened

2418
01:05:41,977 --> 01:05:42,727
and this is what happened.

2419
01:05:42,727 --> 01:05:43,747
They gave us an epilogue.

2420
01:05:44,107 --> 01:05:44,527
Yes.

2421
01:05:44,527 --> 01:05:45,337
No, I totally agree.

2422
01:05:45,337 --> 01:05:46,357
There's so many times where I'm like,

2423
01:05:46,417 --> 01:05:47,797
that's it, that's where they ended.

2424
01:05:47,797 --> 01:05:48,337
Oh my gosh.

2425
01:05:48,608 --> 01:05:49,447
I need to email them.

2426
01:05:49,447 --> 01:05:50,947
And so as long as we'll email them

2427
01:05:51,144 --> 01:05:52,764
and we don't hear back, or sometimes

2428
01:05:52,764 --> 01:05:54,384
they'll like, send me an update later.

2429
01:05:54,384 --> 01:05:56,055
But yeah, that was a good

2430
01:05:56,055 --> 01:05:57,045
way to like tie it off.

2431
01:05:57,045 --> 01:05:58,035
Like, I'm glad.

2432
01:05:58,252 --> 01:05:59,514
That she's happy now and

2433
01:05:59,514 --> 01:06:00,894
got outta a really toxic

2434
01:06:00,894 --> 01:06:02,616
relationship, um, like you said,

2435
01:06:02,616 --> 01:06:04,656
and broke the pattern that her mom was in.

2436
01:06:04,656 --> 01:06:06,126
She's not her mom.

2437
01:06:06,186 --> 01:06:08,046
She is her own person and she

2438
01:06:08,046 --> 01:06:09,216
doesn't have to be like her mom.

2439
01:06:09,216 --> 01:06:10,536
And I think that's really beautiful.

2440
01:06:10,776 --> 01:06:11,106
Yeah.

2441
01:06:11,376 --> 01:06:11,766
Yeah.

2442
01:06:11,826 --> 01:06:12,636
Absolutely.

2443
01:06:12,933 --> 01:06:13,233
Wow.

2444
01:06:13,233 --> 01:06:15,544
That touched on every kind of like

2445
01:06:15,544 --> 01:06:17,734
drama I think I've ever read before.

2446
01:06:17,977 --> 01:06:18,277
Wow.

2447
01:06:18,457 --> 01:06:19,597
Well, thank you for sending that

2448
01:06:19,597 --> 01:06:21,217
in and thanks for reacting with

2449
01:06:21,517 --> 01:06:21,697
me.

2450
01:06:21,787 --> 01:06:21,847
Yeah.

2451
01:06:22,777 --> 01:06:23,587
Oh my gosh.

2452
01:06:23,707 --> 01:06:24,630
That's wild.

2453
01:06:24,630 --> 01:06:26,680
Okay, let's end with a

2454
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:29,140
couple of confessions.

2455
01:06:29,478 --> 01:06:30,648
there, sentiment Instagram.

2456
01:06:30,648 --> 01:06:30,768
I

2457
01:06:30,809 --> 01:06:32,069
let me do like some cards for

2458
01:06:32,069 --> 01:06:34,106
you, for the podcast or whatever.

2459
01:06:34,166 --> 01:06:34,346
Yeah,

2460
01:06:34,376 --> 01:06:34,616
yeah.

2461
01:06:34,676 --> 01:06:35,216
Absolutely.

2462
01:06:35,246 --> 01:06:35,276
Okay.

2463
01:06:35,336 --> 01:06:35,906
Okay.

2464
01:06:36,180 --> 01:06:38,623
So this says, what wedding

2465
01:06:38,623 --> 01:06:40,993
cost do you regret the most?

2466
01:06:41,053 --> 01:06:42,583
We asked people on Instagram,

2467
01:06:42,583 --> 01:06:43,483
this is what they said.

2468
01:06:43,543 --> 01:06:45,313
This person said the whole thing.

2469
01:06:45,487 --> 01:06:46,867
I wish we would've eloped.

2470
01:06:47,197 --> 01:06:51,183
Another person said, not doing RSVP only.

2471
01:06:51,243 --> 01:06:52,653
There was too many people

2472
01:06:52,653 --> 01:06:53,883
that were not invited.

2473
01:06:54,231 --> 01:06:55,011
Interesting.

2474
01:06:55,257 --> 01:06:55,677
Wait,

2475
01:06:55,851 --> 01:06:56,721
not doing,

2476
01:06:56,726 --> 01:06:57,066
not doing

2477
01:06:57,231 --> 01:06:59,541
RSVP only 'cause there were too

2478
01:06:59,541 --> 01:07:01,821
many people that were not invited.

2479
01:07:02,074 --> 01:07:02,464
Oh.

2480
01:07:02,464 --> 01:07:03,544
I wonder if they're thinking like,

2481
01:07:03,544 --> 01:07:05,700
they didn't like, limiting RSVPs and

2482
01:07:05,700 --> 01:07:06,480
they wish they would've just done,

2483
01:07:06,480 --> 01:07:07,845
like, open, like, because I've seen

2484
01:07:07,845 --> 01:07:08,805
people doing that where there's

2485
01:07:08,805 --> 01:07:10,995
like, just come if you can make it.

2486
01:07:11,115 --> 01:07:12,225
So maybe that's what they mean.

2487
01:07:12,622 --> 01:07:14,092
I've never heard of that.

2488
01:07:14,092 --> 01:07:14,572
Okay.

2489
01:07:14,782 --> 01:07:15,142
Yeah.

2490
01:07:15,142 --> 01:07:16,282
I, I have until I started sharing

2491
01:07:16,282 --> 01:07:17,692
stories, I've heard of a couple of

2492
01:07:17,692 --> 01:07:18,922
people saying like, we just had like

2493
01:07:18,922 --> 01:07:21,152
a church basement or a venue and

2494
01:07:21,152 --> 01:07:22,622
just being like, oh, anyone can come

2495
01:07:22,622 --> 01:07:24,242
to dinner and like, it's a buffet.

2496
01:07:24,432 --> 01:07:25,512
So maybe that's what they mean.

2497
01:07:25,512 --> 01:07:26,352
But I don't know.

2498
01:07:26,747 --> 01:07:27,377
Interesting.

2499
01:07:27,631 --> 01:07:28,831
This one says cake.

2500
01:07:28,891 --> 01:07:30,331
No one cares about cake.

2501
01:07:30,544 --> 01:07:30,754
Yeah.

2502
01:07:30,784 --> 01:07:32,134
I think you need some kind of sweet treat.

2503
01:07:32,134 --> 01:07:33,634
I don't think it has to be cake, but

2504
01:07:33,634 --> 01:07:35,427
you need some kinda like sweet thing.

2505
01:07:35,607 --> 01:07:36,807
That's what I like anyway.

2506
01:07:37,121 --> 01:07:37,541
Yeah.

2507
01:07:37,867 --> 01:07:39,547
and this last one says a photo

2508
01:07:39,547 --> 01:07:41,017
booth because they didn't have

2509
01:07:41,017 --> 01:07:43,687
guest create the book as instructed.

2510
01:07:43,961 --> 01:07:45,161
Oh, that's a shame.

2511
01:07:45,431 --> 01:07:48,611
Honestly, even though my first marriage

2512
01:07:48,611 --> 01:07:51,451
did end in divorce, I still have like

2513
01:07:51,451 --> 01:07:53,514
so many really great memories from the

2514
01:07:53,514 --> 01:07:55,284
photo booth and like pictures from that

2515
01:07:55,284 --> 01:07:57,584
that I love seeing from, from my wedding.

2516
01:07:57,584 --> 01:07:58,139
So I love

2517
01:07:58,139 --> 01:07:58,459
that from

2518
01:07:58,459 --> 01:07:58,859
that wedding.

2519
01:07:59,037 --> 01:07:59,547
Yeah.

2520
01:07:59,787 --> 01:08:00,267
No, I love that.

2521
01:08:00,267 --> 01:08:00,657
That's fun.

2522
01:08:00,657 --> 01:08:01,977
I feel like photos too, like.

2523
01:08:02,162 --> 01:08:03,812
Photos and videography I feel

2524
01:08:03,812 --> 01:08:05,012
like are like, so worth it.

2525
01:08:05,012 --> 01:08:06,212
But yeah, every wedding's gonna be

2526
01:08:06,212 --> 01:08:08,822
different of what you prioritize and that.

2527
01:08:09,122 --> 01:08:09,422
Okay.

2528
01:08:09,422 --> 01:08:09,872
So I, is there

2529
01:08:09,872 --> 01:08:11,522
something that you think is the expense

2530
01:08:11,522 --> 01:08:13,682
that you wish that you would've not done?

2531
01:08:13,684 --> 01:08:14,612
Like what's the expense

2532
01:08:14,612 --> 01:08:16,082
that you would've changed?

2533
01:08:16,299 --> 01:08:18,882
Honestly, I feel like I was pretty, I

2534
01:08:18,882 --> 01:08:20,859
was pretty good about saying like, no

2535
01:08:20,859 --> 01:08:23,839
to things I was like, okay, we were

2536
01:08:23,899 --> 01:08:26,213
pretty limited on not, I shouldn't

2537
01:08:26,213 --> 01:08:27,533
say limited on guest list, but I was

2538
01:08:27,533 --> 01:08:28,673
like, if I haven't talked to them

2539
01:08:28,673 --> 01:08:29,993
in the last five years, like they're

2540
01:08:29,993 --> 01:08:31,798
not invited The one thing that people

2541
01:08:31,798 --> 01:08:33,048
always told me, they're like, don't

2542
01:08:33,048 --> 01:08:35,852
get favors, like, no one uses favors.

2543
01:08:35,852 --> 01:08:36,992
But I was so set.

2544
01:08:36,992 --> 01:08:38,475
I was like, I love getting

2545
01:08:38,475 --> 01:08:39,345
favors at weddings.

2546
01:08:39,345 --> 01:08:40,365
I know most people don't.

2547
01:08:40,605 --> 01:08:41,895
we did decks of cards, but

2548
01:08:41,895 --> 01:08:43,395
there were a lot left over.

2549
01:08:43,395 --> 01:08:44,895
A lot of people did leave cards.

2550
01:08:45,110 --> 01:08:46,347
So, I don't know.

2551
01:08:46,347 --> 01:08:48,000
I would say maybe that if I had to

2552
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,547
pick, for example, I got a quote

2553
01:08:50,637 --> 01:08:52,797
like, for $4,000 for flowers.

2554
01:08:52,997 --> 01:08:55,430
I ended up borrowing a friend's flowers.

2555
01:08:55,460 --> 01:08:57,170
She made silk bouquets.

2556
01:08:57,200 --> 01:08:57,290
Mm-hmm.

2557
01:08:57,530 --> 01:08:58,940
So we didn't pay for flowers.

2558
01:08:59,203 --> 01:09:00,283
all our bridesmaid dresses

2559
01:09:00,283 --> 01:09:01,603
were under a hundred dollars.

2560
01:09:01,820 --> 01:09:02,540
I let them wear whatever

2561
01:09:02,540 --> 01:09:03,650
shoes they wanted.

2562
01:09:03,910 --> 01:09:06,100
So I feel like I was pretty, like, stingy

2563
01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:08,350
is the wrong word, but I was like, spent

2564
01:09:08,350 --> 01:09:10,360
where I wanted to spend, I should say.

2565
01:09:10,573 --> 01:09:11,053
Yeah.

2566
01:09:11,230 --> 01:09:11,560
Yeah.

2567
01:09:11,803 --> 01:09:14,953
my wedding was a big ticket

2568
01:09:14,953 --> 01:09:16,003
wedding, I would say.

2569
01:09:16,003 --> 01:09:16,543
it was a lot.

2570
01:09:16,543 --> 01:09:17,683
It was this destination wedding

2571
01:09:17,683 --> 01:09:18,823
for almost everybody, even

2572
01:09:18,823 --> 01:09:19,843
though it was where I lived.

2573
01:09:19,843 --> 01:09:21,133
Nobody else lived there.

2574
01:09:21,313 --> 01:09:22,783
this could be for like another

2575
01:09:22,783 --> 01:09:24,813
time, but, we had everybody that was

2576
01:09:24,813 --> 01:09:26,103
invited to the wedding got invited to

2577
01:09:26,103 --> 01:09:27,303
something the night before the wedding.

2578
01:09:27,333 --> 01:09:27,733
'cause of the like.

2579
01:09:28,133 --> 01:09:29,063
Inviting the out of town

2580
01:09:29,063 --> 01:09:30,263
people to the rehearsal.

2581
01:09:30,353 --> 01:09:30,593
Yeah.

2582
01:09:30,623 --> 01:09:32,213
We just invited, we did a whole

2583
01:09:32,213 --> 01:09:34,433
special other event and we had like a

2584
01:09:34,433 --> 01:09:36,113
farewell breakfast the next day too.

2585
01:09:36,113 --> 01:09:38,093
And it was like, there was a lot going on.

2586
01:09:38,319 --> 01:09:40,269
but the thing that I would actually

2587
01:09:40,269 --> 01:09:42,399
have taken, I do hope to get married

2588
01:09:42,399 --> 01:09:44,319
again, and I think the thing I would

2589
01:09:44,409 --> 01:09:46,659
reduce the cost on is my dress.

2590
01:09:46,795 --> 01:09:48,055
And I didn't even get a very

2591
01:09:48,055 --> 01:09:50,365
expensive dress, but I don't know,

2592
01:09:50,365 --> 01:09:51,535
that's just an area that I just

2593
01:09:51,535 --> 01:09:53,545
don't really care about as much.

2594
01:09:53,545 --> 01:09:55,285
I just feel like I don't need to

2595
01:09:55,285 --> 01:09:57,462
spend close to a thousand or over

2596
01:09:57,462 --> 01:09:58,842
a thousand or whatever on a dress.

2597
01:09:58,842 --> 01:10:01,153
Like I've really just, whatever I'm

2598
01:10:01,153 --> 01:10:02,953
gonna get something way cheaper probably.

2599
01:10:03,103 --> 01:10:04,063
Yeah, I know.

2600
01:10:04,113 --> 01:10:05,869
I was like that too with my dress.

2601
01:10:05,869 --> 01:10:06,679
Like I feel like.

2602
01:10:07,353 --> 01:10:08,553
so shocked when I hear like,

2603
01:10:08,553 --> 01:10:10,863
custom bride dress costs.

2604
01:10:10,868 --> 01:10:11,058
Mm-hmm.

2605
01:10:11,223 --> 01:10:12,453
Like thousand, multiple

2606
01:10:12,453 --> 01:10:13,503
thousands of dollars.

2607
01:10:13,743 --> 01:10:13,833
Mm-hmm.

2608
01:10:14,073 --> 01:10:15,213
Because I, I went somewhere that was

2609
01:10:15,213 --> 01:10:17,339
like direct, so it was like none of

2610
01:10:17,339 --> 01:10:18,959
the overhead costs kind of thing.

2611
01:10:19,159 --> 01:10:19,549
yeah.

2612
01:10:19,549 --> 01:10:21,079
That for me, I was like, I didn't

2613
01:10:21,079 --> 01:10:22,969
go to like five bridal shops either.

2614
01:10:22,969 --> 01:10:24,199
I was like, I went to one, tried

2615
01:10:24,199 --> 01:10:25,309
on five dresses and I knew out

2616
01:10:25,309 --> 01:10:27,140
of like, I don't know, maybe it's

2617
01:10:27,140 --> 01:10:28,837
'cause I was just like, waited.

2618
01:10:29,033 --> 01:10:29,483
I don't know.

2619
01:10:29,483 --> 01:10:31,450
I was just like older at the time.

2620
01:10:31,450 --> 01:10:31,930
I don't know.

2621
01:10:32,030 --> 01:10:32,270
Yeah.

2622
01:10:32,275 --> 01:10:32,455
Mm-hmm.

2623
01:10:32,810 --> 01:10:33,710
I just knew at that point.

2624
01:10:33,914 --> 01:10:34,214
Yeah.

2625
01:10:34,407 --> 01:10:34,647
Yeah.

2626
01:10:35,067 --> 01:10:35,457
Okay.

2627
01:10:35,626 --> 01:10:35,956
you wanna

2628
01:10:35,956 --> 01:10:36,096
do a couple?

2629
01:10:36,096 --> 01:10:38,085
Yeah, let's do a couple like, Oracle

2630
01:10:38,085 --> 01:10:40,455
cards or something just from like maybe,

2631
01:10:40,455 --> 01:10:42,195
especially with the new year, maybe

2632
01:10:42,195 --> 01:10:44,955
some intentions for the listeners too.

2633
01:10:45,448 --> 01:10:47,710
so this deck that I'm gonna start

2634
01:10:47,710 --> 01:10:49,690
with just a cosmic guidance deck.

2635
01:10:49,750 --> 01:10:52,463
And the kind of intent around

2636
01:10:52,463 --> 01:10:53,753
it is opening yourself to

2637
01:10:53,753 --> 01:10:55,043
guidance from the universe.

2638
01:10:55,073 --> 01:10:55,103
Okay.

2639
01:10:55,340 --> 01:10:57,606
So we'll just see what there's

2640
01:10:57,636 --> 01:10:59,346
guidance for anyone listening and they

2641
01:10:59,346 --> 01:11:01,206
can take it if they want to or not.

2642
01:11:01,527 --> 01:11:03,501
Just like a little message.

2643
01:11:03,531 --> 01:11:03,771
Okay.

2644
01:11:03,771 --> 01:11:05,091
A card just came flying out.

2645
01:11:05,121 --> 01:11:05,421
Okay.

2646
01:11:05,421 --> 01:11:06,424
So this is what it looks like

2647
01:11:06,458 --> 01:11:08,018
if you're watching on YouTube.

2648
01:11:08,336 --> 01:11:09,836
So it says gratitude,

2649
01:11:09,866 --> 01:11:12,266
appreciate present blessings.

2650
01:11:12,489 --> 01:11:13,209
Oh, I like that.

2651
01:11:13,209 --> 01:11:14,139
So just finding like

2652
01:11:14,139 --> 01:11:15,399
some gratitude practices.

2653
01:11:15,399 --> 01:11:17,079
I think that's really helpful, especially

2654
01:11:17,079 --> 01:11:18,489
in this time that we're in right now,

2655
01:11:18,489 --> 01:11:20,733
where things can be really scary and it

2656
01:11:20,733 --> 01:11:22,923
can be hard to see, like sometimes the

2657
01:11:22,923 --> 01:11:25,563
positive without being toxically positive.

2658
01:11:25,709 --> 01:11:25,799
Right.

2659
01:11:25,799 --> 01:11:27,179
Which is finding something to be

2660
01:11:27,179 --> 01:11:28,619
grateful for in the moment we see

2661
01:11:28,619 --> 01:11:31,203
if there's another, another card.

2662
01:11:31,446 --> 01:11:32,226
Another message.

2663
01:11:32,256 --> 01:11:32,436
Okay.

2664
01:11:32,436 --> 01:11:33,966
We're gonna switch to a different deck.

2665
01:11:34,296 --> 01:11:35,916
I won't use tarot for this just

2666
01:11:35,916 --> 01:11:37,553
because it'll take us a little

2667
01:11:37,553 --> 01:11:39,053
longer, but we'll do another one

2668
01:11:39,053 --> 01:11:40,903
of like, this is my bloom deck.

2669
01:11:41,049 --> 01:11:42,909
What's a way that you might need to grow

2670
01:11:42,909 --> 01:11:44,739
or could, or an area that you really

2671
01:11:44,739 --> 01:11:47,739
can grow and have success in 2026?

2672
01:11:48,470 --> 01:11:49,580
Will this like speak to me

2673
01:11:49,580 --> 01:11:50,630
'cause I'm right in front of you?

2674
01:11:50,630 --> 01:11:52,520
Or is it just like anybody listening?

2675
01:11:52,520 --> 01:11:54,500
It'll be you and anyone that's listening,

2676
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:56,330
but yeah, your energy will be like the

2677
01:11:56,330 --> 01:11:58,280
most prominent 'cause it's your podcast.

2678
01:11:58,425 --> 01:11:58,715
Okay.

2679
01:11:59,240 --> 01:12:01,430
Okay, so we got Lotus.

2680
01:12:01,720 --> 01:12:02,200
Ooh.

2681
01:12:02,230 --> 01:12:04,780
Your mud has purpose,

2682
01:12:04,923 --> 01:12:07,353
your mud has purpose.

2683
01:12:07,786 --> 01:12:07,906
What does that means?

2684
01:12:07,906 --> 01:12:09,706
So like when you're stuck in the mud,

2685
01:12:09,856 --> 01:12:11,356
there's a reason I feel like this kind of

2686
01:12:11,356 --> 01:12:12,646
goes back to some of the stories that we

2687
01:12:12,646 --> 01:12:13,906
were listening, like when it just feels

2688
01:12:13,906 --> 01:12:15,927
like there's all these blocks, there's

2689
01:12:15,927 --> 01:12:17,457
a reason it's telling you something.

2690
01:12:17,457 --> 01:12:18,837
So maybe you have to learn how

2691
01:12:18,837 --> 01:12:20,787
to get yourself out of the mud.

2692
01:12:21,040 --> 01:12:22,750
Or maybe the mud is trying to slow

2693
01:12:22,750 --> 01:12:24,370
you down because you're trying to move

2694
01:12:24,370 --> 01:12:25,990
too fast to get to somewhere else.

2695
01:12:25,990 --> 01:12:28,260
Or sometimes the mud is to show you

2696
01:12:28,260 --> 01:12:29,880
the places where the, like people in

2697
01:12:29,880 --> 01:12:31,440
glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

2698
01:12:31,440 --> 01:12:33,394
Like maybe you got mud on you

2699
01:12:33,394 --> 01:12:34,654
that you gotta clean off before

2700
01:12:34,654 --> 01:12:35,764
you're judging other people.

2701
01:12:36,066 --> 01:12:37,236
So there could be lots of different

2702
01:12:37,236 --> 01:12:39,036
reasons, but like your mud has a purpose

2703
01:12:39,036 --> 01:12:40,686
and mud also has nutrients in it.

2704
01:12:40,985 --> 01:12:42,845
You have to, if you actually wanna grow in

2705
01:12:42,845 --> 01:12:45,185
your plant, you gotta be put in the dirt.

2706
01:12:45,292 --> 01:12:46,342
there's purpose to that so

2707
01:12:46,342 --> 01:12:47,692
that you can actually bloom.

2708
01:12:47,692 --> 01:12:49,822
And then the lotus is a symbol there, so.

2709
01:12:50,182 --> 01:12:50,602
Okay.

2710
01:12:50,602 --> 01:12:52,492
Well, just a couple messages for, I

2711
01:12:52,552 --> 01:12:53,152
like that.

2712
01:12:53,152 --> 01:12:53,362
Right.

2713
01:12:53,362 --> 01:12:54,682
I love that kind of stuff.

2714
01:12:54,682 --> 01:12:56,184
I love doing that like internal

2715
01:12:56,184 --> 01:12:58,148
work of understanding myself better.

2716
01:12:58,428 --> 01:12:59,455
And I love the one you said

2717
01:12:59,455 --> 01:13:01,125
about, gratitude in your presence.

2718
01:13:01,125 --> 01:13:01,665
Is that what it said?

2719
01:13:01,755 --> 01:13:01,845
Mm-hmm.

2720
01:13:02,109 --> 01:13:03,729
Appreciate present blessings.

2721
01:13:03,734 --> 01:13:03,984
Yeah.

2722
01:13:04,329 --> 01:13:04,749
Yeah.

2723
01:13:04,749 --> 01:13:07,269
Because I think too, we're so quick

2724
01:13:07,419 --> 01:13:09,429
to, look ahead and not in like

2725
01:13:09,429 --> 01:13:11,199
a bad way, but we're just like

2726
01:13:11,346 --> 01:13:13,116
planning, constantly planning or

2727
01:13:13,116 --> 01:13:15,156
like, okay, when will this pass?

2728
01:13:15,156 --> 01:13:17,586
Or, okay, what do I need to do next?

2729
01:13:17,939 --> 01:13:20,236
I feel like at least speaking for myself,

2730
01:13:20,236 --> 01:13:22,186
it's so hard to just sit in the present.

2731
01:13:22,359 --> 01:13:23,559
Just enjoy the moment

2732
01:13:23,559 --> 01:13:24,969
you're in at this moment.

2733
01:13:25,146 --> 01:13:27,166
I get like, not anxiety, but I'm always

2734
01:13:27,213 --> 01:13:28,713
thinking of like, what's the next thing?

2735
01:13:28,803 --> 01:13:28,953
Okay.

2736
01:13:28,953 --> 01:13:29,823
How am I gonna do this?

2737
01:13:29,828 --> 01:13:29,838
Mm-hmm.

2738
01:13:30,074 --> 01:13:30,374
Okay.

2739
01:13:30,374 --> 01:13:31,784
I only have 30 minutes till this.

2740
01:13:31,814 --> 01:13:32,624
Okay, I gotta do this.

2741
01:13:32,960 --> 01:13:33,290
it's just like.

2742
01:13:33,564 --> 01:13:35,217
Turn off the, electronics,

2743
01:13:35,217 --> 01:13:36,834
whatever, and just be present in

2744
01:13:36,834 --> 01:13:38,514
this moment and just enjoy it.

2745
01:13:38,690 --> 01:13:39,859
because I remember even as a kid,

2746
01:13:39,860 --> 01:13:41,780
like, I'd be like, oh, I only have

2747
01:13:41,780 --> 01:13:43,686
like an hour until this, like, and it

2748
01:13:43,686 --> 01:13:45,216
was just kind of like even in my like

2749
01:13:45,216 --> 01:13:46,506
happiest moments where I'm surrounded

2750
01:13:46,506 --> 01:13:48,213
by like friends and family, I'm like

2751
01:13:48,213 --> 01:13:49,849
thinking about What's the next thing?

2752
01:13:50,029 --> 01:13:51,169
So that's like a good reminder.

2753
01:13:51,709 --> 01:13:53,719
It's making me wonder if you ever

2754
01:13:53,719 --> 01:13:55,189
were to take StrengthsFinder, I feel

2755
01:13:55,189 --> 01:13:56,749
like maybe you have like achiever

2756
01:13:56,749 --> 01:13:59,269
where there's the positive is you are

2757
01:13:59,269 --> 01:14:00,709
achieving you're striving for things.

2758
01:14:00,709 --> 01:14:02,209
You're good at executing on things,

2759
01:14:02,329 --> 01:14:04,279
but then you can get like achiever,

2760
01:14:04,279 --> 01:14:06,619
burnout and you're constantly having

2761
01:14:06,619 --> 01:14:08,179
to achieve and you only feel good

2762
01:14:08,209 --> 01:14:10,309
if you are achieving or you feel

2763
01:14:10,309 --> 01:14:11,659
like you're never achieving enough.

2764
01:14:11,659 --> 01:14:12,979
Or as soon as you achieve, you're already

2765
01:14:12,979 --> 01:14:14,089
onto the next thing and forgetting

2766
01:14:14,089 --> 01:14:15,709
to like celebrate your success.

2767
01:14:15,951 --> 01:14:17,301
and it's actually, as you were

2768
01:14:17,301 --> 01:14:18,711
talking about, it's making me realize,

2769
01:14:18,711 --> 01:14:21,471
so I had made my 2026 Bingo card.

2770
01:14:21,562 --> 01:14:23,152
have you ever made a bingo card for this?

2771
01:14:24,142 --> 01:14:24,202
No.

2772
01:14:24,202 --> 01:14:24,222
For yourself.

2773
01:14:24,222 --> 01:14:24,412
Like, like

2774
01:14:24,412 --> 01:14:25,522
checklist almost.

2775
01:14:25,679 --> 01:14:28,019
So instead of it being like a checklist,

2776
01:14:28,079 --> 01:14:29,664
it if you were to play bingo, you don't

2777
01:14:29,664 --> 01:14:31,434
have to clear the whole card to win.

2778
01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:31,920
Right.

2779
01:14:31,920 --> 01:14:33,150
It's like you just gotta get

2780
01:14:33,150 --> 01:14:34,830
five in a row in any way.

2781
01:14:34,969 --> 01:14:36,883
and so I put things on there

2782
01:14:36,883 --> 01:14:38,363
that I was like, if I get.

2783
01:14:38,418 --> 01:14:39,198
Five in a row.

2784
01:14:39,198 --> 01:14:40,098
That would be amazing.

2785
01:14:40,098 --> 01:14:41,628
I put like bigger things on there,

2786
01:14:41,628 --> 01:14:43,368
not things that I was like, I

2787
01:14:43,368 --> 01:14:44,748
have to do all these things.

2788
01:14:44,748 --> 01:14:46,463
It just feels more like just put

2789
01:14:46,463 --> 01:14:48,233
it out there in like almost wishes.

2790
01:14:48,323 --> 01:14:48,443
Yes.

2791
01:14:48,443 --> 01:14:49,658
And then like, will I get this?

2792
01:14:49,658 --> 01:14:50,948
And one of the things I had put

2793
01:14:50,948 --> 01:14:53,528
on my card was to be on a podcast.

2794
01:14:54,398 --> 01:14:54,788
Oh, there you go.

2795
01:14:54,788 --> 01:14:55,628
And I can check it.

2796
01:14:55,628 --> 01:14:56,073
This is my first, yes,

2797
01:14:56,168 --> 01:14:56,828
this is my first one.

2798
01:14:56,828 --> 01:14:57,968
So it's a reminder for me to be

2799
01:14:57,968 --> 01:14:59,438
like, okay, I should actually like

2800
01:14:59,438 --> 01:15:01,118
take a moment and be like, wow, I've

2801
01:15:01,118 --> 01:15:03,008
already gotten one of my squares.

2802
01:15:03,008 --> 01:15:05,108
And I'll appreciate that little blessing.

2803
01:15:05,108 --> 01:15:05,408
So

2804
01:15:05,438 --> 01:15:06,068
yes.

2805
01:15:06,068 --> 01:15:08,018
And like, so get in too because I think

2806
01:15:08,018 --> 01:15:09,838
yeah, we're all so quick to like look

2807
01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:12,058
ahead to the next thing and like, not

2808
01:15:12,058 --> 01:15:13,558
really like look around us and be like

2809
01:15:13,558 --> 01:15:15,996
really like feel out the senses of like,

2810
01:15:16,186 --> 01:15:17,716
I'm doing it or like this is happening.

2811
01:15:17,721 --> 01:15:18,001
Happening.

2812
01:15:18,006 --> 01:15:18,616
Exactly.

2813
01:15:18,616 --> 01:15:18,676
Yeah.

2814
01:15:18,706 --> 01:15:20,506
We gotta celebrate our wins.

2815
01:15:20,511 --> 01:15:20,721
Yeah.

2816
01:15:20,726 --> 01:15:21,136
Yeah.

2817
01:15:21,196 --> 01:15:22,783
Is that test you were talking about,

2818
01:15:22,783 --> 01:15:24,223
is that kinda like the Enneagram.

2819
01:15:24,357 --> 01:15:25,137
Like similar,

2820
01:15:25,167 --> 01:15:28,197
similar but even more in depth and more

2821
01:15:28,227 --> 01:15:31,887
backed by a lot more global research.

2822
01:15:31,977 --> 01:15:32,217
Okay.

2823
01:15:32,242 --> 01:15:32,462
Um,

2824
01:15:32,462 --> 01:15:32,742
because

2825
01:15:32,742 --> 01:15:33,867
I was gonna say, I literally, I can send

2826
01:15:33,867 --> 01:15:34,347
you the link.

2827
01:15:34,707 --> 01:15:35,547
Yes, please do.

2828
01:15:35,757 --> 01:15:36,447
Because I was gonna say, I

2829
01:15:36,447 --> 01:15:37,835
literally just took the Enneagram

2830
01:15:37,835 --> 01:15:40,001
the other day and I got achiever.

2831
01:15:40,235 --> 01:15:40,355
Oh yeah.

2832
01:15:40,355 --> 01:15:40,685
So he

2833
01:15:40,685 --> 01:15:41,345
said achiever.

2834
01:15:41,345 --> 01:15:42,245
I was like, okay.

2835
01:15:42,245 --> 01:15:44,445
Yeah, like that constant, I'm like A

2836
01:15:44,445 --> 01:15:47,145
three, which is achiever and then a little

2837
01:15:47,385 --> 01:15:48,675
two, which I can't remember the two.

2838
01:15:48,750 --> 01:15:49,040
Yeah.

2839
01:15:49,045 --> 01:15:49,365
Three wing.

2840
01:15:49,365 --> 01:15:49,605
Two.

2841
01:15:50,595 --> 01:15:51,135
Three wing two.

2842
01:15:51,255 --> 01:15:51,555
Yeah.

2843
01:15:51,555 --> 01:15:52,275
And so I was like, oh

2844
01:15:52,275 --> 01:15:53,145
my God, I like read it.

2845
01:15:53,145 --> 01:15:55,425
But yeah, I'm so prone to burnout.

2846
01:15:55,425 --> 01:15:56,895
I go, go, go, go, go.

2847
01:15:56,895 --> 01:15:58,365
And then I like get so overwhelmed

2848
01:15:58,365 --> 01:16:00,085
where I'm like, what's up, what's down?

2849
01:16:00,145 --> 01:16:01,195
Like who am I?

2850
01:16:01,200 --> 01:16:01,250
Mm-hmm.

2851
01:16:01,710 --> 01:16:02,130
Mm-hmm.

2852
01:16:02,210 --> 01:16:03,175
Um, so yeah, that's fun.

2853
01:16:03,895 --> 01:16:05,425
That happens every like few months.

2854
01:16:05,475 --> 01:16:05,925
but yeah,

2855
01:16:05,925 --> 01:16:06,555
I understand.

2856
01:16:07,230 --> 01:16:07,620
Awesome.

2857
01:16:07,860 --> 01:16:09,312
Well, thank you so much for coming on.

2858
01:16:09,312 --> 01:16:10,242
It was so fun chatting with you.

2859
01:16:10,242 --> 01:16:10,632
Thanks for having

2860
01:16:10,632 --> 01:16:11,022
me

2861
01:16:11,082 --> 01:16:11,382
all sudden.

2862
01:16:11,382 --> 01:16:12,312
Like most of the time I'm like,

2863
01:16:12,312 --> 01:16:13,602
I could talk to you forever.

2864
01:16:13,632 --> 01:16:13,992
Um, I

2865
01:16:13,992 --> 01:16:14,352
would

2866
01:16:14,922 --> 01:16:15,842
to Anytime you wanna back on,

2867
01:16:15,999 --> 01:16:17,019
I would love to.

2868
01:16:17,142 --> 01:16:18,732
Can you just tell everyone where

2869
01:16:18,732 --> 01:16:21,470
they can follow you for more updates?

2870
01:16:21,470 --> 01:16:22,670
Anything fun you're working on?

2871
01:16:22,810 --> 01:16:25,420
Yeah, so the best places TikTok at

2872
01:16:25,420 --> 01:16:28,330
intuitivelybeth and I don't have

2873
01:16:28,330 --> 01:16:30,580
Facebook or Instagram, the accounts

2874
01:16:30,580 --> 01:16:32,020
that are there, scam accounts.

2875
01:16:32,298 --> 01:16:33,948
tarot readers oftentimes have

2876
01:16:33,948 --> 01:16:35,238
people trying to copy them.

2877
01:16:35,238 --> 01:16:36,798
So also just to shout out if you

2878
01:16:36,798 --> 01:16:38,778
are watching Tarot and TikTok, like

2879
01:16:38,868 --> 01:16:40,608
a real reader will never reach out

2880
01:16:40,608 --> 01:16:42,491
to you, you'll reach out to them.

2881
01:16:42,831 --> 01:16:44,031
and then my website,

2882
01:16:44,031 --> 01:16:46,671
stan.store/intuitivelybeth And that is

2883
01:16:46,671 --> 01:16:48,051
a great place if you wanna work with

2884
01:16:48,051 --> 01:16:49,786
me or come and get contact with me.

2885
01:16:50,566 --> 01:16:50,686
Awesome.