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how to be happy from the wisdom of Confucius.

Confucius was a Chinese philosopher, political figure and a teacher, and who stressed upon

the importance of loyalty, morality and kindness for a meaningful and happy life.

He is considered to be one of the greatest Eastern philosophers of all time, and his

teachings are commonly known as analects.

His school of thought or perspective of life is called Confucianism by his followers and

this Confucian school of thought revolves around four virtues that all human beings

should possess.

These are: Benevolence or ren, righteousness or yi, fulfillment of rights or li and moral

wisdom or zhi.

A fifth virtue, faith or xin was also added later into the Chinese culture that resembles

the five elements: earth, water, fire, wood and metal, to illustrate a close link between

physical and moral aspects.

According to Confucius, happiness doesn’t mean to get everything one desires in life,

but rather it means as well as the satisfaction you get from fulfilling your desires, happiness

is also knowing that the methods you used in achieving those things were moral.

For over 2500 years, Confucius has been a source of inspiration for people around the

world seeking happiness and meaning in their lives and in this video we bring you 6 ways

to be happy from the wisdom of Confucius.

1.

Invest in intimate relationships Confucius says “What you do not want done

to yourself, do not do to others”.

This is the famous golden rule of which Confucius was very much an advocate.

One of the four fundamental Confucian virtues is ren, which means a sense for the dignity

of human life, a feeling of humanity towards others and self-esteem for yourself.

Confucius thought ren is what makes life worth living, it is the ultimate guide to human

action, the foundation of all human relationships.

Simply put, it is about treating others the way you want to be treated, but this teaching

goes much deeper than this.

In every action you do in your life, you have to be mindful of others.

For Confucians, the most natural and important site for the expression of ren is the family.

This starts in your home.

You have to cultivate compassion and kindness first with yourself, then with your family,

then with your friends, then with your community, your nation and, ultimately, the entire human

species.

If everybody followed this golden rule, the world would be a much better place.

Applying the golden rule into your relationships creates harmony around you and this leads

to happiness.

To apply best practice to Confucian principles, you need to treat others with sincerity, morality

and compassion, just as you want to be treated by them.

You can start by investing in your intimate relationships, with your family members, your

partner, your friends.

You need to treat them fairly, sincerely, compassionately, not to gain something in

return, but because cultivating compassion and creating harmony is such a vital aspect

of living a happy and moral life, of showing how much you care for your loved ones.

If you have trouble showing your loved ones how much you care for them, start smiling

more, greet them warmly every time you meet them, ask about their well-being and listen

carefully to them, be honest in the way you speak, and be fair to each of them.

Keep this up long enough and you will get a reputation for being a great person that

everybody would want to be around.

If you are respecting them, they in turn will start respecting you more, treating you more

fairly, with more sincerity, more compassion and, ultimately, making you feel more loved,

more respected and happier.

Thus, investing in your relationships with the people around you is a fundamental step

towards happiness.

2.

Think of the consequences Confucius tells us “When anger rises, think

of the consequences.”

We have all experienced those unpleasant moments when we feel our adrenaline rushing through

our body, when we feel like punching someone in the face or using harsh words that we know

we’ll regret afterwards.

We, in the west, believe that anger is justified if one is angry at the right time and in the

right context.

However, according to Confucius if we are angry at someone, then we are defeated by

them.

There is no such thing as a good amount of anger and it is extremely important to think

of the consequences when an emotion like anger arises.

Controlling ourselves is not always easy, but there is a big reward in being capable

of training your mind to be in control of how you react.

One of the best ways to start practicing self-control is to look deep into the future, to think

not only about the first-order consequences like the pleasure we get from punching someone

in the moment for example, but also at the second-order consequences like the fact he

might punch you back or that you may get into some kind of brawl which will cause further

physical injuries, or third-order consequences like it might break your friendship with that

person, or even fourth-order consequences like if your other friends might stop respecting

you and so on.

We need to avoid this tendency of obtaining immediate pleasure if this comes at the cost

of losing something much more important in the future.

Let’s say, at your workplace, before expressing your anger against your boss or against one

of your colleagues during a meeting, try to take a deep breath and ask yourself: is it

worth it to point out that their idea or approach is stupid, straightaway?

Sure, it will make me feel good in the moment showing how smart I am, but how will this

affect my relationship with them?

And furthermore, how will that affect my job in the long run?

Now that you are aware of the long term consequences, you can be more mindful of your anger, and

you can always choose to present your argument in a gentler way to the other person, taking

their feelings and self-esteem into account.

Anger is a poor guide to happiness and if you truly want to seek happiness, first think

of the consequences, then act.

3.

Keep it simple To quote Confucius; “Life is really simple,

but we insist on making it complicated”.

A simple life is a life that gives you freedom from issues that should not really be of major

concern.

Simplicity is all about focusing on what's most important to you and letting go of the

rest.

Confucian teachings portray life in this simplest form.

The way we perceive our life can make all the difference.

For an optimistic person, life is a beautiful gift that has many opportunities and things

to enjoy, but a pessimist typically takes life for granted and thinks of his stagnant

life as a mess that cannot be settled.

They will try to push it forward by overthinking something, by overdoing a task or constantly

avoiding something or someone, but will forget that in doing so they will end up creating

more hassle and make life even more complicated for themselves.

To not enjoy the simple things and fixate on what you don't have only disturbs your

mental and physical health.

In today’s modern world, this simplicity can rarely be seen.

Our minds love to think.

So it thinks and thinks about things, spinning stories around and around.

It goes on and on, weaving complicated plots and dialogues that never - nor ever will - happen.

Like wearing your best outfit for a party or a wedding, you are constantly thinking

about other people’s opinions about it.

You fear that you may not look attractive and that thought makes you unhappy.

It is all happening in your head and you keep on over thinking.

The simple solution to this is to just wear an outfit that makes you feel comfortable

and which makes you happy.

Life is simple.

It is we, the human beings, that are complicated.

We need to change this habit of ours, of making life complicated.

You can start by regularly asking yourself questions like:

What are the top 3 most important things in my life?

What is the most important thing I can do right now?

Am I keeping things simple right now?

When you follow the answers you get from these questions and take necessary courses of action,

you will start to work on what is truly important and, by concentrating on what is important,

you will live both a simpler and happier life.

4.

Go slow if need be In the words of Confucius “It does not matter

how slowly you go as long as you do not stop” Confucius teaches us that success is a work

in progress and it doesn’t matter if you are moving a step closer or an inch closer

to your dreams - the most important thing is that you keep moving forward.

Most of the time failure occurs because of our high expectations.

Our society makes us believe that there is a specific age where we must graduate, get

married, earn money and settle down and so we set unrealistic goals and set a time limit

but do not give the kind of effort it actually deserves.

The problem is that we are so focused on the reward, on the end result, that we forget

to concentrate on the driving forces of success such as attaining knowledge or mastering our

skills and because of this when we hit the first road block we assume failure and give

up entirely.

According to Confucius, giving up or changing our goals is not a wise act; instead, you

should make changes in your plans and actions in order to achieve your goal, if the previous

plan did not work.

The truth is there is no such age for settling down.

It just might not happen in the time frame that you had expected but you will surely

reach where you want to go if you put in the daily required effort and keep on developing

your skills.

You are a unique person with your own gifts and talents and no one will invest in them

more than you.

Hence, giving up on your important goals means that you are giving up on yourself, on your

happiness and soon you will establish a pattern of giving up on anything when things don’t

go the way you hoped.

To remain motivated and consistent is the key to achieving any goal and being happy.

If you find a mountain in the middle of your path, go over it slowly and steadily.

If there is a river ahead, build a bridge over, or swim across it.

In short, if you find hurdles in the path of your journey, you should always think of

a way to overcome them and keep on moving towards your goal because success does not

rely upon the number of times you failed, but it absolutely depends upon the number

of times you bounced back after having failed.

5.

Learn by your experience According to Confucius “By three methods

we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which

is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."

According to some studies, if we stop learning and become satisfied with what we know, we

do a huge disservice to our brain as learning keeps our brain healthy and makes us live

longer.

There are several books and studies linking a healthy brain to a happy life.

Also, some researchers concluded that there is one fundamental thing people should do

in order to be happy: to be engaged in difficult, but doable actions.

In other words, to keep on learning, developing ourselves, pushing our limits.

Confucius considered three methods of acquiring wisdom: by reflection, by imitation and by

experience.

The first method is the noblest one, Reflection is about you becoming aware of your own thinking

processes.

It enables assessment of the "why" and "how" of learning, and what needs to be done as

a result.

The second method is to learn by imitation, the easiest type, it is the method used by

children and teenagers to learn from adults, it is the method used by the trainee in a

company to learn a new skill.

It may be an easy method, but it is just as important as the other two.

The third method is to learn by experience, Confucius considers it to be the bitterest

method.

To understand the actual meaning of anything, you have to experience it yourself.

Maybe the thing which is considered bad by you turns out to be good and vice versa.

It is very easy to spread negativity by saying harsh things about someone or something you

don’t actually know.

So you should first experience it for yourself and then talk about it.

For example, if you heard negative things about a person said by someone else, before

judging them, you should meet them in person to form your own opinion of them.

Because this method can imply a series of unpleasant experiences, Confucius calls it

“the bitterest” method.

However, experience can be the most trusted way to acquire wisdom.

Sometimes, our judgement can be flawed if we only reflect on the issue at hand or, if

we just imitate somebody, we might also imitate the wrong way to approach a problem.

Therefore, just reflecting and imitating someone simply isn’t enough.

The best option is to use all three methods, according to the specific circumstances.

Keeping our brain healthy will lead us to have more wisdom and live a much happier and

longer life.

6.

Meditate In our final quote from Confucius for this

video, we learn “The more man meditates among good thoughts, the better will be his

world and the world at large”.

For Confucius, cultivating good thoughts has enormous importance.

Practicing good thoughts might not come automatically, but it can become a ritual.

By practising good thoughts, we can practically learn how to be kind and mindful.

According to Confucius, we can learn to let our behaviour lead our feelings.

Oftentimes, in this high-speed era, our minds can run wild, our feelings can be completely

overwhelming.

Today more than ever it is critical for us all to learn to control our behaviour, to

learn to cultivate good thoughts.

And this is where meditation can help tremendously.

Meditation is essential for us to create peace within ourselves and to avoid negative thoughts.

We need to understand that difficulties in life come and go and meditation helps us to

stay focused and to be calm so that we don’t deviate from the path we are walking.

Meditation helps us develop positivity in ourselves, in order to overcome the obstacles

we are facing in our lives.

When you look at things in an optimistic way, you automatically become enthusiastic and

full of positive energy.

There are many types of meditation, but, for starters, you can practice focusing on your

breathing, sitting down in a quiet room, making sure you will not be interrupted for about

5 to 10 minutes every day.

When you meditate, you overcome the negativity happening in your life and see the world with

eyes full of hope and happiness.

You look at people around you with positivity and you generate a healthy vibe in the environment.

You will meet new people, build new relationships, help each other and spread positivity and

finally attain peace of mind and a heart full of happiness.

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