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Hi Joe.

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Thanks for being here.

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Thank you so much, Christa.

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Really appreciate  it.

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I'm really excited 'cause as we were

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just saying before recording, this is

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just like a whole new angle that I'm

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really excited to explore on the podcast.

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Welcome.

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Um, so before we get into it, can

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you just tell everyone a little

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bit about yourself and what you do?

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Yes.

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my name is Joe Diamond.

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I am in my late thirties.

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I like long walks on the beach.

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that's a different podcast.

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Sorry.

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Yeah.

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Uh, but, uh, no, I, perform a weekly

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show at the Maxwell Mansion in Lake

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Geneva, Wisconsin, called Psychic Parlor.

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it's an evening of mind

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reading interaction.

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It's in the ballroom, so

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it seats only 40 people.

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And it's kind of a throwback to the

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turn of the century parlor entertainment

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where people would gather in homes

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and they would hear everything from

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lectures, from anthropologists to

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demonstrations of spiritualists to,

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magicians, conjuring, and, telepathy.

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And my show is sort of a throwback

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to the more telepathy side.

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I've been named and the.com was

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available at the Midwest Mystic.

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So if anyone wants to look it up.

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So basically what that means is instead

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of pulling rabbits out of hats, I'm

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pulling thoughts out of people's minds.

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Ooh.

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So during the show, I'll have people think

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of names of friends and friends, drinks.

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They would order at the bar,

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stuff I couldn't know be

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beforehand on social media.

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And we're coming up on two years of

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weekly shows with, purely word of mouth.

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No, no advertising.

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I don't have big billboards

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coming into town.

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It's kind of this underground thing.

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Again, we can only, fit 40 people in their

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max, but every show's been sold out every

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week for, at least the last year of shows.

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I'm sure there's two or three where

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we had a, few people who like.

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Didn't show up or something like that.

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Right.

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I could look at the actual numbers,

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it's been a really fun project.

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I've been doing shows in the

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Midwest and beyond my whole life.

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I do, of course, house parties,

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corporate events, a handful of weddings.

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yeah, so as a professional

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entertainer, I've encountered, a

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lot of, interesting do's and don'ts.

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Uh, I think when last I did the,

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count, I was up to just shy of 950,

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corporate events The last 20 years.

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And, with house parties and stuff,

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that's easily, to double that.

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you've seen it all.

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not at all.

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there are some people who've

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seen more than me for sure.

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both because they charge more

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and less than me, but that's

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a whole other discussion.

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Yeah.

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So how did you get into mind reading

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and did it kind of start, like, I know

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you've Kylie made different, like.

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Turns, I'm sure, like in your

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career, but how did you kind of

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end up to what you're doing now?

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what was kinda like journey?

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Like?

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when I was a kid, my great-grandmother

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taught me how to read playing

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cards, just like tarot cards.

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And my grandfather taught

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me my first card trick.

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So right at the beginning there was this

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interesting, dynamic and I would go to the

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library and get books on everything from

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magic, both magic tricks and ritualistic

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magic, even though my parents were very

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religious and were like, put those back.

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So I learned to read them at

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the library and take notes in my

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notebook and then, you know, go home.

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Later, but I also read books on

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UFOs, crop circles, paranormal

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phenomena, all that stuff.

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And so when I was in my mid teens,

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there was a casting call for Six

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Flags Great America, for anyone, not

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listening or listening, who's not

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in the Midwest, that's a theme park.

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just off of, the highway

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between Chicago and Milwaukee.

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and they were looking

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for street performers.

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And I went in, doing some, a

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little bit of mind reading some

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card tricks, and I got the gig.

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But by the end of that summer I was just

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reading poems and doing mind reading.

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'cause that's what people

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were really responding to.

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Oh,

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wow.

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And so, yeah, after two summers of

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that, you know, seven hours a day out

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on the streets, Entertain people while

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they're waiting for their friends to

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get off of rides or, that kind of stuff.

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As, Malcolm Gladwell says, I got my

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10,000 hours in and I started working,

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you know, house parties, corporate events.

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I noticed the mind reading stuff

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was getting more of a reaction.

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I also did some sideshow stunts

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at the time, which, I don't do as

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much anymore, but like I learned

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how to stick my hand in an animal

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trap and hammer a nail into my nose.

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That was taught to me

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by a sword swallower.

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And what was fun about those

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is, you know, and you could tell

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people exactly how they worked.

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'cause like with traditional magic,

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you don't tell them anything, right.

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With mind reading, people can kind of

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piece together later on, maybe some like

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intuitive leaps or body language, that

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kind of thing, but you can't explain

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what you're doing as you're doing it.

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Mm-hmm.

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But with the sideshow stuff, I

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could explain exactly what was

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going on and people would still go.

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Is that a real animal trap?

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Is that, you that kind of stuff.

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So I was always playing with

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what was real and what was not.

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And, I started doing ticketed shows in

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various historical, venues, everywhere

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from the, Maxwell Mansion, lake Geneva.

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But I've also done shows at

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the Woodstock Opera House.

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I was born in Woodstock, Illinois.

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If anyone's seen the movie

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Groundhog Day, that's the building

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Bill Murray jumped out of.

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and what's funny is like I'm kind of

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more known for these more intimate

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shows, but I've done shows for

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a thousand people at a corporate

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event, 2000 people at a high school.

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Mm-hmm.

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and even when I did like.

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The Opera House, it only

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seats about 411 people.

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But, which is small compared

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to like amphitheaters and other

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massive theaters in the Midwest.

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But people were still like, oh,

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how are you gonna make that?

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Your shows are so intimate.

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How are you gonna work with people?

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How are you gonna read?

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Mines in the Balcony.

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And this was right after COVID, so I was

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like, I've been reading Mines over Zoom.

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So they're just right up there.

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even in the bigger environment, that

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space, I've worked really hard on making

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the bigger events feel more interactive

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and intimate, and making the more intimate

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events feel bigger and more, immersive

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than they may or may not appear to be.

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Wow.

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That's awesome.

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I know, I feel like, 'cause I've

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been to like different kinds of

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shows I love the more intimate one

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because I feel like you can like.

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See them closer.

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You can see like real reactions.

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Sometimes the like really big shows.

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You're like, maybe it's like the skeptic

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part of me, but even though I tend to

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be more spiritual, but sometimes I'm

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like, was this planned ahead of time?

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But the more intimate ones,

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you're like, no, there's no way.

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this is like

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also because in the more intimate

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ones, there's more of a chance

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for you to be involved as well.

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Yes.

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In fact, at the max, I love that we have

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we have introvert seating cause people's

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number one fear is public speaking.

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Getting called

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well it's public speaking

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whether or not they're up for a

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show or need to speak for work.

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And on top of that I'm going to, you know.

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Tell them what they're thinking.

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even if this was all a joke, even if I

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was just like, oh, you're thinking of this

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really embarrassing thing that happened.

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is that right?

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No.

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Well, of course you'd say

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no, it's embarrassing.

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I, you know, right now if that there with

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their coworkers, now they're that person.

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and I do not do that.

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Of course.

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I'm always very conscious of making sure

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everyone in my audience goes back a hero.

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that said, I completely understand

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that some people just do not wanna

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participate and I want everyone

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to feel comfortable in the show.

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so we have introvert tickets where

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they're on the ticketing site.

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at the psychic parlor.com, and you can go

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down, you know, there's standard tickets.

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There's also VIP up close

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couch seating as well.

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So the people do wanna be extra close, but

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then there's introvert seating, which is,

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I will not call on you during the show.

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There are some things that involve

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everyone all at once, that people can

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kind interact with from their seats.

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Mm-hmm.

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of course, I will not bring

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them up and of course, like

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say hi to them before the show.

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And I even say to them, the joke I

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always do is don't worry, this is

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the most I'll talk to you all night.

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you're safe over here.

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yeah.

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so yeah, so it's, something I am

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trying to be very conscious of, but

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it is something that's so intrinsic

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to my work because a big part of it,

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ironically, is the skepticism, is

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the, oh, well, can he do it with me?

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Will he pick someone from our group?

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And when you come with a group of.

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Five to 10 people at a

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show that only seats 40.

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You're 25% of the audience, so someone

275
00:07:48,962 --> 00:07:50,142
in your group is gonna be involved.

276
00:07:51,092 --> 00:07:52,089
You're gonna have a conversation

277
00:07:52,089 --> 00:07:53,771
going home later, So, yeah.

278
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:54,691
Uh, intimate is also

279
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,831
very relative as well.

280
00:07:56,014 --> 00:07:57,484
also in Lake Geneva, very good

281
00:07:57,484 --> 00:07:58,624
friend of mine, I've done shows

282
00:07:58,624 --> 00:08:00,228
at, Tristan Christ's theater.

283
00:08:00,228 --> 00:08:00,348
Mm-hmm.

284
00:08:00,588 --> 00:08:02,568
They do a more traditional magic show.

285
00:08:02,568 --> 00:08:04,611
He cuts his assistant in half, they

286
00:08:04,611 --> 00:08:06,471
fly around the stage like superheroes

287
00:08:06,471 --> 00:08:07,791
and make a helicopter appear.

288
00:08:08,131 --> 00:08:09,091
and it's amazing.

289
00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:10,441
, I've been backstage and I don't

290
00:08:10,441 --> 00:08:11,881
know where they keep the helicopter.

291
00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:14,221
It's a little, little disconcerting,

292
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:16,798
but in all seriousness, their back row,

293
00:08:16,898 --> 00:08:19,418
they're only 175 seats, which again,

294
00:08:19,418 --> 00:08:20,978
compared to the 40, is like, oh, wow.

295
00:08:20,978 --> 00:08:21,698
So much bigger.

296
00:08:21,922 --> 00:08:23,768
But their back row is closer than

297
00:08:24,008 --> 00:08:25,538
Penn and Teller's front row in Las

298
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:27,788
Vegas when I filmed for their TV show.

299
00:08:28,032 --> 00:08:29,382
that is still a more intimate

300
00:08:29,592 --> 00:08:31,974
space compared to, to that.

301
00:08:32,314 --> 00:08:33,588
and I have different

302
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:34,878
things like there's one.

303
00:08:35,343 --> 00:08:37,203
Grand finale I do for my bigger

304
00:08:37,203 --> 00:08:39,993
shows that involves 26 people and

305
00:08:39,993 --> 00:08:41,283
the, just in the grand finale.

306
00:08:41,373 --> 00:08:41,433
Wow.

307
00:08:41,671 --> 00:08:43,303
The whole show, uh, throughout,

308
00:08:43,303 --> 00:08:44,533
I do several things.

309
00:08:44,679 --> 00:08:45,893
there will be about 50 people

310
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:46,943
that are directly involved

311
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,828
with me during the show, total.

312
00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:50,618
And, there again, several things

313
00:08:50,618 --> 00:08:52,358
where everyone is involved too.

314
00:08:53,048 --> 00:08:53,618
Wow.

315
00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:54,141
Yeah.

316
00:08:54,141 --> 00:08:56,171
I love like, being able to be a

317
00:08:56,171 --> 00:08:57,971
part of it or involved in some way.

318
00:08:57,971 --> 00:08:59,430
'cause I feel like, especially when I

319
00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:00,956
was a kid, I'd go to a magic show or

320
00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:02,940
some kind of like, mind reading show.

321
00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:04,536
Like, being pulled up on stage just

322
00:09:04,536 --> 00:09:06,443
makes you be like, I wasn't a part of it.

323
00:09:06,503 --> 00:09:07,793
Or like, I didn't see anything

324
00:09:07,793 --> 00:09:09,147
that happened, but like, I saw

325
00:09:09,147 --> 00:09:10,377
it in front of my eyes happen.

326
00:09:10,377 --> 00:09:11,397
Like I always remember going to

327
00:09:11,397 --> 00:09:12,717
some kind of, I think it was when

328
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:14,263
my sister was in college, they did

329
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,823
like some kind of magic show there.

330
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:18,120
And I remember I got pulled up on stage

331
00:09:18,510 --> 00:09:20,340
that tour colleges and stuff and

332
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:21,030
yeah.

333
00:09:21,030 --> 00:09:21,040
Yeah.

334
00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,350
And I feel like I did something

335
00:09:22,350 --> 00:09:23,640
where they were like, close your

336
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:25,460
eyes and hold this light bulb.

337
00:09:25,490 --> 00:09:26,120
It was something.

338
00:09:26,273 --> 00:09:27,226
And soon as I opened my eyes,

339
00:09:27,226 --> 00:09:28,186
the light bulb turned on

340
00:09:28,186 --> 00:09:28,906
and I was like, I don't know

341
00:09:29,216 --> 00:09:29,476
how

342
00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:30,376
I did it

343
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:31,456
could've been, uh, one of my

344
00:09:31,456 --> 00:09:32,776
very close friends, Chris Carter,

345
00:09:32,776 --> 00:09:34,863
they were the long, light bulbs.

346
00:09:35,195 --> 00:09:35,343
Uh,

347
00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:36,663
yes, it was the long light bulb.

348
00:09:36,935 --> 00:09:37,820
that's his signature.

349
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:37,970
Yeah.

350
00:09:37,970 --> 00:09:39,110
I don't know how he does that either.

351
00:09:39,369 --> 00:09:40,479
Those aren't his light bulbs.

352
00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:42,519
He has like the booker or whoever

353
00:09:42,519 --> 00:09:43,959
hired him for like, the company,

354
00:09:44,182 --> 00:09:45,789
like go to the store and buy them

355
00:09:46,069 --> 00:09:48,053
and bring them to the show and like,

356
00:09:48,053 --> 00:09:48,683
wow.

357
00:09:48,803 --> 00:09:48,983
Yeah.

358
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:49,253
It's, it's

359
00:09:49,253 --> 00:09:49,763
wild.

360
00:09:49,999 --> 00:09:50,783
It's ridiculous.

361
00:09:50,783 --> 00:09:52,219
Yeah, he's from the Midwest as

362
00:09:52,219 --> 00:09:53,809
well and he's taught me a lot.

363
00:09:53,869 --> 00:09:55,243
And, he's amazing.

364
00:09:55,243 --> 00:09:56,473
And again, he works colleges.

365
00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:57,303
I always joke with him.

366
00:09:57,303 --> 00:09:57,453
Yeah.

367
00:09:57,453 --> 00:09:58,353
The biggest thing you've taught

368
00:09:58,353 --> 00:09:59,493
me is how much I do not wanna

369
00:09:59,493 --> 00:10:01,579
work colleges or, or beyond.

370
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:02,449
I mean, because he's been on

371
00:10:02,449 --> 00:10:04,339
the road like 300 days a year.

372
00:10:04,339 --> 00:10:05,629
I'm very spoiled.

373
00:10:05,659 --> 00:10:08,004
I get to, you know, again, I do my fair

374
00:10:08,004 --> 00:10:10,014
share of traveling for this line of work.

375
00:10:10,024 --> 00:10:11,940
I've flown up town for different things.

376
00:10:11,940 --> 00:10:13,260
And being in between Chicago and

377
00:10:13,260 --> 00:10:15,933
Milwaukee is, a blessing, but like, yeah,

378
00:10:15,963 --> 00:10:17,348
compared to people like him who are.

379
00:10:17,925 --> 00:10:19,328
Just on the road every single day,

380
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,228
it's, oh, I actually get to sleep.

381
00:10:21,228 --> 00:10:22,368
in my own bed and eat dinner

382
00:10:22,368 --> 00:10:24,768
with my wife most nights a week.

383
00:10:24,768 --> 00:10:25,218
You know?

384
00:10:25,278 --> 00:10:25,578
Yeah.

385
00:10:25,804 --> 00:10:27,304
even with something like the psych

386
00:10:27,364 --> 00:10:28,804
parlor, you know, when I was first

387
00:10:28,804 --> 00:10:30,394
starting, I wouldn't be home till like

388
00:10:30,765 --> 00:10:32,414
midnight, one, two in the morning.

389
00:10:32,414 --> 00:10:34,558
I'm home by, 10:00 PM most nights there.

390
00:10:35,128 --> 00:10:35,338
Right.

391
00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:39,484
so again, for having, a line of work that,

392
00:10:39,748 --> 00:10:42,394
normally is so predicated on all those

393
00:10:42,394 --> 00:10:44,674
things, the fact that I don't have to

394
00:10:44,933 --> 00:10:46,324
kind of carved out my own little niche.

395
00:10:47,086 --> 00:10:49,489
Without having to do all that.

396
00:10:49,696 --> 00:10:51,506
I've been very, very grateful for,

397
00:10:51,729 --> 00:10:52,013
yeah,

398
00:10:52,404 --> 00:10:53,754
yeah, 'cause again, when if someone,

399
00:10:53,804 --> 00:10:55,814
specializes in, like, for example,

400
00:10:55,814 --> 00:10:57,704
weddings, well, there's only a

401
00:10:57,704 --> 00:10:59,714
hundred Friday, Saturdays a year,

402
00:10:59,714 --> 00:11:01,956
so you're only gonna book so many,

403
00:11:01,976 --> 00:11:03,821
unless you can do several in a day.

404
00:11:03,821 --> 00:11:05,378
And for someone like me where it's like,

405
00:11:05,378 --> 00:11:06,908
they either want me there the whole time

406
00:11:06,908 --> 00:11:09,768
mingling or at a specific time, and we

407
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:11,568
all know they always run on time, right?

408
00:11:12,498 --> 00:11:13,128
Oh, yes.

409
00:11:13,784 --> 00:11:16,301
and when they do come up great, because

410
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:19,171
of things like the Maxwell and these

411
00:11:19,171 --> 00:11:21,283
other ticketed events, I've done I

412
00:11:21,283 --> 00:11:23,353
don't have to be as hungry for like,

413
00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,013
again, being on the road all the time.

414
00:11:25,289 --> 00:11:25,993
Yeah.

415
00:11:26,189 --> 00:11:27,333
And so you've done, I mean, so many

416
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:29,023
different shows, different sizes,

417
00:11:29,276 --> 00:11:30,989
different kinds of people, I'm sure.

418
00:11:31,246 --> 00:11:33,159
is there a time in your mind, like one of

419
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,952
the wildest or most interesting reactions

420
00:11:35,952 --> 00:11:37,749
that you have from one of your shows, or a

421
00:11:37,749 --> 00:11:39,915
guest that was there, just an interesting,

422
00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:41,745
like, story that kind sticks out to you?

423
00:11:41,855 --> 00:11:42,700
there's a lot.

424
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:43,630
for sure.

425
00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,670
I've had people scream, I've

426
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:48,070
been hit, I've been slapped.

427
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:49,345
Oh my gosh.

428
00:11:49,525 --> 00:11:49,885
Yeah.

429
00:11:50,017 --> 00:11:51,514
to be fair, it's happened

430
00:11:51,514 --> 00:11:52,444
two or three times.

431
00:11:52,694 --> 00:11:53,524
It's been in like the

432
00:11:53,524 --> 00:11:55,127
arm two or three times.

433
00:11:55,127 --> 00:11:57,647
But once it was across the face and

434
00:11:57,647 --> 00:11:59,297
the woman was just like, ah, and

435
00:11:59,297 --> 00:12:00,617
it was just like this, and just her

436
00:12:00,617 --> 00:12:01,907
hand hit just right next because

437
00:12:01,907 --> 00:12:01,967
she

438
00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:02,887
couldn't believe what you did.

439
00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:03,227
Yeah.

440
00:12:03,587 --> 00:12:05,553
her hand just hit just right to like

441
00:12:05,553 --> 00:12:08,583
echo through this, this space we were in.

442
00:12:09,013 --> 00:12:11,670
it was, at a, Dell web type community for

443
00:12:11,670 --> 00:12:13,720
anyone who knows what they're, so it just

444
00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,370
echoed and it was before I had a beard,

445
00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,625
so like, it was extra skin on skin whack

446
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:20,145
and it sounded way worse than it was.

447
00:12:20,749 --> 00:12:22,636
always use a handheld mic, so I

448
00:12:22,636 --> 00:12:24,106
went off mic and she was, and this

449
00:12:24,106 --> 00:12:24,856
is part of the reason, 'cause she

450
00:12:24,856 --> 00:12:26,056
was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

451
00:12:26,056 --> 00:12:26,536
I'm so sorry.

452
00:12:26,536 --> 00:12:27,286
Please don't hate me.

453
00:12:27,582 --> 00:12:29,399
And I said, I'm absolutely fine.

454
00:12:29,609 --> 00:12:30,493
I'm gonna make a joke

455
00:12:30,493 --> 00:12:31,303
and we're gonna move on.

456
00:12:31,303 --> 00:12:31,873
We'll be fine.

457
00:12:32,109 --> 00:12:33,373
And then I got on the mic and was

458
00:12:33,373 --> 00:12:34,959
like, no, no, no, it's my fault.

459
00:12:34,959 --> 00:12:36,279
I should have seen that coming.

460
00:12:36,564 --> 00:12:37,184
And no.

461
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:39,699
And I thanked her, sent

462
00:12:39,699 --> 00:12:40,689
her back to her seat.

463
00:12:41,016 --> 00:12:42,470
I said, whoever's sitting next to her,

464
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,360
you know, look out if she reacts more

465
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,160
during the show, might wanna scoop over a

466
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,320
little, you know, so we had fun with it.

467
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:48,500
Of course.

468
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:49,010
Yeah.

469
00:12:49,310 --> 00:12:49,585
Um, do

470
00:12:49,585 --> 00:12:50,689
you what it was?

471
00:12:50,899 --> 00:12:51,439
Oh yeah.

472
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:53,769
It was, so there's several things

473
00:12:53,769 --> 00:12:57,219
that I do pretty much in every show.

474
00:12:57,476 --> 00:12:58,959
I have different ways of.

475
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,029
Framing it or scaling it.

476
00:13:01,352 --> 00:13:03,492
so one of the things I'll do is

477
00:13:03,492 --> 00:13:04,632
I'll have people think of like

478
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,132
names of friends or family members.

479
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:07,252
Mm-hmm.

480
00:13:07,492 --> 00:13:09,052
Now, sometimes I'll adjust

481
00:13:09,052 --> 00:13:12,292
that depending on just for lack

482
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,492
of a better term, the season.

483
00:13:13,796 --> 00:13:16,242
Like I will have people think of, like I

484
00:13:16,242 --> 00:13:19,316
did a time travel show once a themed show.

485
00:13:19,616 --> 00:13:21,232
And so I said, think of someone from

486
00:13:21,232 --> 00:13:22,972
your past that you no longer talk to.

487
00:13:22,972 --> 00:13:23,212
No one.

488
00:13:23,212 --> 00:13:24,232
You had an epic falling out with

489
00:13:24,232 --> 00:13:26,016
just someone you've lost track

490
00:13:26,016 --> 00:13:27,126
with over the years and never

491
00:13:27,126 --> 00:13:28,656
really connected with on Facebook.

492
00:13:28,709 --> 00:13:29,462
it's been a while since

493
00:13:29,462 --> 00:13:30,362
you've seen this person.

494
00:13:30,599 --> 00:13:32,126
and I have those different things to

495
00:13:32,126 --> 00:13:34,016
fit kind of the theme of the show.

496
00:13:34,296 --> 00:13:37,186
but also ' cause again, the other thing

497
00:13:37,412 --> 00:13:38,866
I've gotta address in my show is, oh,

498
00:13:38,866 --> 00:13:41,532
has he looked us all up on social media?

499
00:13:41,652 --> 00:13:42,582
Is he doing?

500
00:13:42,612 --> 00:13:44,446
And, I genuinely don't.

501
00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:46,202
But I still have to go out of my way

502
00:13:46,202 --> 00:13:50,196
to show, not just tell, but like show

503
00:13:50,196 --> 00:13:52,026
I'm not doing that by having people

504
00:13:52,026 --> 00:13:54,216
picked at random or picking up on

505
00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:56,056
things that aren't normally thought of.

506
00:13:56,056 --> 00:13:57,376
So yeah, having someone think of like,

507
00:13:57,649 --> 00:13:59,896
again, a friend, a family member, someone

508
00:13:59,896 --> 00:14:01,549
they used, to know those kinds of things.

509
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,012
I'll have people think of like

510
00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:05,112
old pin codes at Halloween.

511
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:07,032
I'll have them think of old costumes,

512
00:14:07,816 --> 00:14:07,936
after

513
00:14:07,936 --> 00:14:08,566
Christmas time.

514
00:14:08,566 --> 00:14:09,582
I'll have them think of old gif.

515
00:14:10,102 --> 00:14:11,139
But, it's all the same

516
00:14:11,139 --> 00:14:12,969
framing for what I do.

517
00:14:12,969 --> 00:14:15,222
And in many ways, the joke I say is, at

518
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,589
the beginning of my show, when I have

519
00:14:17,589 --> 00:14:19,059
two people on stage and I tell each of

520
00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,619
them just what color they're thinking of.

521
00:14:20,619 --> 00:14:20,709
Mm-hmm.

522
00:14:20,979 --> 00:14:22,359
The joke I say is, that's it.

523
00:14:23,969 --> 00:14:25,019
That's all I do.

524
00:14:25,049 --> 00:14:25,619
Don't worry.

525
00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:27,094
We'll keep doing it for the next hour.

526
00:14:27,424 --> 00:14:28,777
but the idea is that we start with

527
00:14:28,777 --> 00:14:30,427
colors, then go into shapes, then

528
00:14:30,427 --> 00:14:32,407
numbers, and then I have someone,

529
00:14:32,691 --> 00:14:34,131
think of cards they're holding in like.

530
00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:35,391
Game.

531
00:14:35,391 --> 00:14:36,621
We play psychic poker.

532
00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:37,461
Then I have someone think of a

533
00:14:37,461 --> 00:14:39,111
drink they'd order at the bar.

534
00:14:39,389 --> 00:14:40,182
I talk about more

535
00:14:40,182 --> 00:14:41,712
empathy versus telepathy.

536
00:14:41,712 --> 00:14:42,402
So then I work with

537
00:14:42,402 --> 00:14:43,842
different people's emotions.

538
00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:45,772
Then we think of specific thoughts

539
00:14:45,772 --> 00:14:48,149
like friends, family members, then some

540
00:14:48,149 --> 00:14:49,469
stuff where someone thinks of someone

541
00:14:49,499 --> 00:14:51,449
in the room and I have to find them

542
00:14:51,449 --> 00:14:53,339
without asking them any questions.

543
00:14:53,602 --> 00:14:54,742
that's all I'll say about the show

544
00:14:54,742 --> 00:14:56,032
without spoiling anything else.

545
00:14:56,432 --> 00:14:57,542
because another part of it too is

546
00:14:57,542 --> 00:14:59,312
people just love the surprise too.

547
00:14:59,511 --> 00:15:00,981
and even when it's the same thing

548
00:15:00,981 --> 00:15:02,361
for me because someone's always

549
00:15:02,361 --> 00:15:03,861
thinking something different and

550
00:15:04,186 --> 00:15:05,304
they're always gonna react differently

551
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:06,234
and people wanna bring their

552
00:15:06,234 --> 00:15:08,497
friends to see how they'll react.

553
00:15:08,892 --> 00:15:09,122
Mm mm-hmm.

554
00:15:09,122 --> 00:15:09,132
So

555
00:15:10,237 --> 00:15:12,577
that kind of has the surprise baked

556
00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:14,571
into it as well, because Yeah.

557
00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:16,471
I might get every once in

558
00:15:16,471 --> 00:15:18,421
a while I'm way, way off.

559
00:15:18,712 --> 00:15:19,427
it's not the, you.

560
00:15:19,723 --> 00:15:20,966
Line I say in the show is, mind

561
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:23,016
reading is an art, not a science.

562
00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:23,341
Mm-hmm.

563
00:15:23,421 --> 00:15:24,576
So I'm not always gonna be a

564
00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:26,766
hundred percent accurate, but I'm

565
00:15:26,766 --> 00:15:28,206
hopefully more close than not.

566
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:31,086
And it's interesting when people go, wow,

567
00:15:31,086 --> 00:15:32,466
I've never seen you get that wrong before.

568
00:15:32,466 --> 00:15:33,966
Like, who have seen you a couple times?

569
00:15:34,203 --> 00:15:35,286
That's still kind of interesting

570
00:15:35,286 --> 00:15:36,546
and surprising for them, even though

571
00:15:36,546 --> 00:15:38,076
it's the least impressive outcome.

572
00:15:38,436 --> 00:15:41,076
And in many ways, but I also make a

573
00:15:41,076 --> 00:15:42,516
point of like, Hey, this is about,

574
00:15:42,798 --> 00:15:45,198
having fun and connection and the other.

575
00:15:45,475 --> 00:15:46,724
I call it the dirty secret

576
00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:48,134
of my show, which is, yes, my

577
00:15:48,134 --> 00:15:50,024
name is on the advertising, it

578
00:15:50,024 --> 00:15:51,464
says I'm the star of the show.

579
00:15:51,464 --> 00:15:52,784
But that's not really true.

580
00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:54,784
The real star of the show is the audience.

581
00:15:54,784 --> 00:15:57,228
The show is about the audience.

582
00:15:57,258 --> 00:15:57,348
Mm-hmm.

583
00:15:57,628 --> 00:16:00,078
when you look at mystical characters

584
00:16:00,078 --> 00:16:02,778
and film and literature, like when

585
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:04,368
someone, if you were watching a Twilight

586
00:16:04,368 --> 00:16:06,228
Zone episode that had a mind reader

587
00:16:06,228 --> 00:16:07,698
in it, it wouldn't start with the mind

588
00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:09,048
reader, it would start with people

589
00:16:09,048 --> 00:16:10,638
going to the mind reader and having that

590
00:16:10,638 --> 00:16:12,528
discussion of, I think this is real.

591
00:16:12,528 --> 00:16:13,578
I think it's a load of bunk.

592
00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:14,208
What do you think?

593
00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:14,298
Right.

594
00:16:14,298 --> 00:16:16,434
And the weird stuff happens in

595
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:18,561
the Mind Reader Show, and now we

596
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,971
follow these two people leaving.

597
00:16:19,971 --> 00:16:21,657
So I'm, kind of trying to see the

598
00:16:21,657 --> 00:16:23,577
show through that lens of a real

599
00:16:23,577 --> 00:16:25,407
life Twilight zone experience.

600
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:27,869
and, giving them as much the starring

601
00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:30,382
role of it and, the interaction of it.

602
00:16:30,702 --> 00:16:32,852
Um, way more than, just being about.

603
00:16:33,222 --> 00:16:34,835
I'm always being right and when it

604
00:16:34,835 --> 00:16:36,972
is about them and when it is that if

605
00:16:36,972 --> 00:16:39,205
I'm not a hundred percent accurate,

606
00:16:39,205 --> 00:16:40,555
I've also structured everything and

607
00:16:40,555 --> 00:16:41,995
I've got lines and jokes where even

608
00:16:41,995 --> 00:16:43,832
if I'm completely wrong and nothing

609
00:16:43,832 --> 00:16:46,815
works, I can move on to the next thing.

610
00:16:46,815 --> 00:16:48,035
Like, it's funny, I've gotten things

611
00:16:48,035 --> 00:16:49,505
wrong in shows and still have had

612
00:16:49,505 --> 00:16:51,185
people come up going, so what do you do?

613
00:16:51,185 --> 00:16:52,085
Are you ever wrong?

614
00:16:52,291 --> 00:16:53,489
Because they had just gotten that

615
00:16:53,489 --> 00:16:55,019
was the one thing out of whole hour.

616
00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:55,109
Right.

617
00:16:55,352 --> 00:16:56,189
They just caught,

618
00:16:56,342 --> 00:16:56,672
yeah,

619
00:16:56,882 --> 00:16:57,482
it does.

620
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,089
what I think matters is that Maya

621
00:16:59,089 --> 00:17:00,649
Angelou quote of like, people may

622
00:17:00,649 --> 00:17:02,419
forget what you said or did, but they

623
00:17:02,419 --> 00:17:03,799
won't forget how you made them feel.

624
00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:04,412
So

625
00:17:04,412 --> 00:17:04,672
Right.

626
00:17:04,922 --> 00:17:06,765
shooting for that as much as

627
00:17:06,765 --> 00:17:08,849
possible because then if I'm a

628
00:17:08,849 --> 00:17:10,109
little off, if I get a name or

629
00:17:10,109 --> 00:17:13,032
mispronounce it or misspell it mm-hmm.

630
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,879
Or something, it's not as

631
00:17:14,879 --> 00:17:16,932
much of a glaring, error.

632
00:17:17,219 --> 00:17:17,519
right.

633
00:17:17,675 --> 00:17:19,149
And like with juggling either.

634
00:17:19,422 --> 00:17:20,782
Catch the clubs or you don't,

635
00:17:21,144 --> 00:17:23,484
With magic, the helicopter appears

636
00:17:23,484 --> 00:17:25,074
or it doesn't, the girl gets put

637
00:17:25,074 --> 00:17:26,574
back together where she doesn't.

638
00:17:27,624 --> 00:17:29,559
So, and when those go wrong,

639
00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:31,149
there's not as much, there's

640
00:17:31,149 --> 00:17:32,499
more on the line with those going

641
00:17:32,499 --> 00:17:34,065
wrong than with me, ironically.

642
00:17:35,265 --> 00:17:35,355
Right.

643
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:36,675
I'm sure it's all about how you

644
00:17:36,675 --> 00:17:38,115
like, respond to it and what

645
00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:40,474
happens next of like, entertaining,

646
00:17:40,474 --> 00:17:41,734
making a joke about it.

647
00:17:41,950 --> 00:17:43,510
if you just like stood there and were

648
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:45,294
like, oh my God, I messed that up.

649
00:17:45,294 --> 00:17:46,404
You know, like people would feel Oh yeah.

650
00:17:46,494 --> 00:17:47,484
Like, remember it more.

651
00:17:47,669 --> 00:17:49,439
well, the other thing too is I also,

652
00:17:49,439 --> 00:17:50,879
I poke fun at myself during the

653
00:17:50,879 --> 00:17:53,162
show as well, because so there's,

654
00:17:53,212 --> 00:17:54,472
two types of people at my show.

655
00:17:54,472 --> 00:17:56,555
People who are at the very least,

656
00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:58,232
Even if they're not full on believers,

657
00:17:58,232 --> 00:17:59,882
they're interested in this kind of stuff.

658
00:18:00,032 --> 00:18:00,122
Mm-hmm.

659
00:18:00,362 --> 00:18:01,232
And then it's their skeptical

660
00:18:01,232 --> 00:18:02,432
partner, they've dragged along.

661
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:02,845
Yeah.

662
00:18:02,845 --> 00:18:03,985
I was gonna ask about that.

663
00:18:04,075 --> 00:18:06,334
And it's funny to the point where I

664
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:08,344
can pretty much say to a couple when

665
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:09,874
I say, thank you for coming tonight.

666
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,590
Thank you for being dragged along

667
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,580
pre and like, I've had a few

668
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:14,290
people go, oh my God, he's psychic.

669
00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:14,950
How did you know that?

670
00:18:14,950 --> 00:18:15,490
I'm like, it's because

671
00:18:15,490 --> 00:18:16,210
you're here everywhere.

672
00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:17,764
that's not the psychic part.

673
00:18:17,819 --> 00:18:18,109
Yeah.

674
00:18:18,114 --> 00:18:19,349
Uh, she hasn't started yet.

675
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,294
but, the line I say in the show now is,

676
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,140
my wife is the biggest skeptic I've ever

677
00:18:24,140 --> 00:18:25,880
met, so it's okay if you're skeptical.

678
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,610
She said to my face, it's not so

679
00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:28,750
much your psychic, you're just a

680
00:18:28,750 --> 00:18:32,020
straight white guy with empathy to be

681
00:18:32,020 --> 00:18:33,730
fair in this era, that's a miracle.

682
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:34,770
That's, and when

683
00:18:34,770 --> 00:18:36,160
I'm not taking it myself that

684
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:38,140
seriously, they're not out to,

685
00:18:38,397 --> 00:18:40,287
challenge or prove or disprove.

686
00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:41,524
It's, we're there to have a good time.

687
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:42,660
if someone is taking it a

688
00:18:42,660 --> 00:18:43,920
little too seriously, I've even

689
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,210
said to someone like, Hey, um.

690
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:45,885
I don't know if you know

691
00:18:45,885 --> 00:18:47,839
this, but this isn't church.

692
00:18:47,899 --> 00:18:49,339
There was a ticket price.

693
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:50,305
You don't have to believe

694
00:18:50,305 --> 00:18:51,145
a single word I say.

695
00:18:52,045 --> 00:18:53,005
We can just have fun.

696
00:18:53,775 --> 00:18:55,035
Um, just enjoy yourself.

697
00:18:55,035 --> 00:18:55,545
Yeah,

698
00:18:55,550 --> 00:18:55,930
exactly.

699
00:18:56,205 --> 00:18:56,835
Exactly.

700
00:18:57,045 --> 00:18:58,155
So I mean, that's like when you see

701
00:18:58,385 --> 00:19:00,125
similar things post online, everyone's

702
00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:01,732
like, oh, they, searched it ahead of time.

703
00:19:01,732 --> 00:19:02,722
They Google, you know, there's

704
00:19:02,722 --> 00:19:03,969
all those skeptics out there and

705
00:19:03,969 --> 00:19:05,899
it's like, do people have fun?

706
00:19:05,959 --> 00:19:07,189
Do people enjoy it?

707
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:07,467
that's

708
00:19:07,987 --> 00:19:08,347
skeptics

709
00:19:08,537 --> 00:19:09,839
like, for a lot of that stuff.

710
00:19:09,839 --> 00:19:11,279
And that's why even with the stuff I've

711
00:19:11,279 --> 00:19:15,015
done online, I do try to make it so that

712
00:19:15,140 --> 00:19:17,385
all those questions, I mean, there are

713
00:19:17,385 --> 00:19:19,155
come up one way or another in my art form.

714
00:19:19,155 --> 00:19:20,115
it's just going to,

715
00:19:20,405 --> 00:19:21,735
that's kind of the point.

716
00:19:22,019 --> 00:19:24,004
but, I really try to again,

717
00:19:24,004 --> 00:19:25,517
make it, about the people, when

718
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:27,120
I show the, clips of the show.

719
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:28,279
I don't even show that

720
00:19:28,279 --> 00:19:29,769
much of what I'm doing.

721
00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,419
I'll just show people's reactions,

722
00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:33,892
people laughing or gasping or

723
00:19:34,012 --> 00:19:36,179
hugging me or, hitting me sometimes.

724
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,199
like showing that and showing that

725
00:19:38,199 --> 00:19:40,414
happens regularly, becomes a different

726
00:19:40,414 --> 00:19:42,814
story than is it real or not?

727
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,152
How's he finding it out?

728
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:46,047
It's more of like, what's going on

729
00:19:46,047 --> 00:19:47,887
in this, interaction that's causing

730
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,387
these people to react like that.

731
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:51,627
it's the same reason why, the fact

732
00:19:51,627 --> 00:19:54,110
that we want to be in, a show where the

733
00:19:54,110 --> 00:19:56,770
audience does implement what happens.

734
00:19:56,770 --> 00:19:57,430
I think it's part of the

735
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,630
reason why comedians.

736
00:19:58,879 --> 00:20:00,525
Doing crowd work clips online

737
00:20:00,525 --> 00:20:01,755
have kind of blown up in the

738
00:20:01,755 --> 00:20:03,345
last few years because mm-hmm.

739
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:05,781
People even when there's always someone

740
00:20:05,781 --> 00:20:07,711
who's like, oh, this was obviously staged.

741
00:20:07,711 --> 00:20:08,971
Look, he's not even really on the stage.

742
00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:10,925
And are there a few people who like,

743
00:20:10,925 --> 00:20:12,245
use laugh tracks and stuff like that?

744
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,085
Yeah, of course.

745
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,715
however, for the most part, we

746
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:17,292
want to feel like we were a part of

747
00:20:17,292 --> 00:20:18,986
something that, has never happened

748
00:20:18,986 --> 00:20:20,306
before and will never happen again.

749
00:20:20,626 --> 00:20:21,901
I don't worry too much about

750
00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:24,734
people thinking that with the

751
00:20:24,734 --> 00:20:26,384
stuff online anymore because

752
00:20:26,384 --> 00:20:27,818
like, I, I perform regularly.

753
00:20:27,985 --> 00:20:29,518
you can come see for yourself,

754
00:20:29,741 --> 00:20:31,235
And if you don't want to, you

755
00:20:31,235 --> 00:20:32,765
know, then that's okay too, right?

756
00:20:33,262 --> 00:20:34,372
The customer's always right,

757
00:20:34,372 --> 00:20:36,142
but not everyone's a customer.

758
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:36,795
Um,

759
00:20:37,005 --> 00:20:38,598
and like, Some people are my audience,

760
00:20:38,598 --> 00:20:40,320
some people aren't, you Art, uh.

761
00:20:40,523 --> 00:20:41,547
It's like a magnet.

762
00:20:41,547 --> 00:20:42,953
I think Jimmy Carr said, it's like

763
00:20:42,953 --> 00:20:44,483
it attracts some people and repels

764
00:20:44,483 --> 00:20:46,283
others, and both are totally fine.

765
00:20:46,733 --> 00:20:46,943
So,

766
00:20:46,973 --> 00:20:47,333
yeah.

767
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:47,843
Yeah.

768
00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:48,893
No, absolutely.

769
00:20:49,227 --> 00:20:50,687
So I know you wanna do, an

770
00:20:50,687 --> 00:20:52,307
audience mind reading, like

771
00:20:52,312 --> 00:20:52,907
Yeah, yeah.

772
00:20:52,907 --> 00:20:53,747
Intuition test

773
00:20:53,777 --> 00:20:55,187
do and with everyone as well.

774
00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:55,847
So listening.

775
00:20:56,147 --> 00:20:56,357
Yeah.

776
00:20:56,477 --> 00:20:56,837
Awesome.

777
00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:58,487
do you wanna do that or do you

778
00:20:58,487 --> 00:20:59,507
wanna, I know you say you also have

779
00:20:59,507 --> 00:21:00,627
a lot of wild stories, so what.

780
00:21:01,152 --> 00:21:02,557
I'll tell you what, let's, both Okay.

781
00:21:02,850 --> 00:21:04,350
let's do a quick intuition test.

782
00:21:04,547 --> 00:21:06,487
And, after that we can do some stories

783
00:21:06,487 --> 00:21:07,417
and then I have something planned

784
00:21:07,417 --> 00:21:08,887
for at the end of this too, so,

785
00:21:08,917 --> 00:21:09,277
okay.

786
00:21:09,377 --> 00:21:10,313
we can kind of give everyone a

787
00:21:10,313 --> 00:21:12,400
little bit of a taste and, also give

788
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,570
you a chance to see how, This mind

789
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:17,357
reading stuff really works and also

790
00:21:17,357 --> 00:21:18,497
gives you and everyone listening a

791
00:21:18,497 --> 00:21:19,757
chance to know what it feels like to

792
00:21:19,757 --> 00:21:21,857
get this wrong and to get it right.

793
00:21:22,155 --> 00:21:23,325
when I do this in live shows, it

794
00:21:23,325 --> 00:21:24,645
usually gives me a chance to see who

795
00:21:24,645 --> 00:21:26,835
else in the room is the most intuitive.

796
00:21:26,835 --> 00:21:26,865
Okay?

797
00:21:27,117 --> 00:21:29,005
So, here's how this is gonna work.

798
00:21:29,005 --> 00:21:30,365
Christa, I'm going to think

799
00:21:30,365 --> 00:21:32,215
about, memory from my past.

800
00:21:32,778 --> 00:21:32,808
Okay?

801
00:21:32,808 --> 00:21:34,308
I'm going to do my best to project

802
00:21:34,308 --> 00:21:35,898
it to you and the listeners.

803
00:21:36,252 --> 00:21:37,628
even though this is recorded, I've

804
00:21:37,628 --> 00:21:38,798
done this with recordings and it

805
00:21:38,948 --> 00:21:41,258
does still work pretty significantly,

806
00:21:41,258 --> 00:21:43,268
I found for people who are truly

807
00:21:43,268 --> 00:21:45,342
listening, if the listeners are

808
00:21:45,342 --> 00:21:47,202
able to close their eyes, please do.

809
00:21:47,202 --> 00:21:48,822
Of course, if you're running or driving,

810
00:21:48,822 --> 00:21:50,322
of course don't, don't worry about it.

811
00:21:50,595 --> 00:21:52,188
But if you can, it, does usually help.

812
00:21:52,548 --> 00:21:53,612
So we'll do this with you and

813
00:21:53,612 --> 00:21:55,568
I, and then later on, we can see

814
00:21:55,568 --> 00:21:57,993
how it does with the listeners.

815
00:22:00,005 --> 00:22:02,345
And exhale, or you'll suffocate.

816
00:22:02,345 --> 00:22:02,975
Very good.

817
00:22:03,398 --> 00:22:04,175
All right, now, Christa, you're

818
00:22:04,175 --> 00:22:05,345
gonna look at me for this.

819
00:22:05,405 --> 00:22:05,435
Okay?

820
00:22:05,775 --> 00:22:07,005
everyone else, again listening can close

821
00:22:07,005 --> 00:22:08,565
their eyes, but since we're talking in

822
00:22:08,565 --> 00:22:09,855
real time, you can take another deep

823
00:22:09,855 --> 00:22:13,318
breath, and as you exhale, just get

824
00:22:13,318 --> 00:22:15,058
in your mind a number from one to 10.

825
00:22:15,368 --> 00:22:16,105
Lock your mind.

826
00:22:16,105 --> 00:22:16,825
Don't change it.

827
00:22:16,825 --> 00:22:18,445
Remember that number, okay?

828
00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:19,735
Don't try to think about

829
00:22:19,735 --> 00:22:20,515
these things too much.

830
00:22:20,515 --> 00:22:21,235
Just go with whoever

831
00:22:21,235 --> 00:22:22,225
comes to you naturally.

832
00:22:22,225 --> 00:22:23,845
Intuition is knowing without knowing.

833
00:22:24,115 --> 00:22:24,145
Okay?

834
00:22:24,445 --> 00:22:25,528
Um, we're gonna do it again.

835
00:22:25,738 --> 00:22:26,818
I'll take another deep breath.

836
00:22:27,538 --> 00:22:29,548
As you exhale, get in your

837
00:22:29,548 --> 00:22:31,378
mind a direction on a compass.

838
00:22:31,978 --> 00:22:32,938
Again, lock it in your mind.

839
00:22:32,938 --> 00:22:33,568
Don't change it.

840
00:22:33,568 --> 00:22:34,588
Remember that direction.

841
00:22:35,098 --> 00:22:35,128
Okay?

842
00:22:35,128 --> 00:22:35,308
All right.

843
00:22:35,308 --> 00:22:36,148
This last one's gonna be the

844
00:22:36,148 --> 00:22:37,828
most difficult this time.

845
00:22:37,878 --> 00:22:39,048
I want you to think of two

846
00:22:39,048 --> 00:22:40,218
simple geometric shapes.

847
00:22:40,218 --> 00:22:42,378
One inside the other, like a square,

848
00:22:42,378 --> 00:22:44,088
inside of a rectangle, for example.

849
00:22:44,182 --> 00:22:45,352
don't pick either of those.

850
00:22:45,422 --> 00:22:46,047
I just said them.

851
00:22:46,387 --> 00:22:47,060
take a deep breath.

852
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,530
Exhale.

853
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:51,740
Remember those two shapes.

854
00:22:52,430 --> 00:22:52,700
Okay.

855
00:22:52,700 --> 00:22:53,000
All right.

856
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,260
I'm curious, first of all to see how you

857
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:57,400
did, and then, if anyone listening wants

858
00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,840
to, should they like, message the podcast?

859
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:01,679
Should they message me on Instagram?

860
00:23:01,679 --> 00:23:02,690
I mean, they could comment.

861
00:23:02,690 --> 00:23:04,250
I mean, I post the full thing on YouTube,

862
00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:05,450
so they could always comment on YouTube.

863
00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:07,760
if people can go to the YouTube page

864
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:08,870
and actually comment if this did

865
00:23:08,870 --> 00:23:10,700
work with them, I'm really curious.

866
00:23:10,700 --> 00:23:11,360
We'll see how this

867
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:12,440
worked with you as well.

868
00:23:12,730 --> 00:23:13,510
so I was thinking of a

869
00:23:13,510 --> 00:23:14,500
pretty common memory.

870
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:16,210
Again, this is likely your first time

871
00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:17,950
doing this, so I wanted to keep it simple.

872
00:23:18,237 --> 00:23:19,390
I was thinking about my first

873
00:23:19,390 --> 00:23:20,800
day of school and I couldn't find

874
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,900
geometry class, so I asked someone

875
00:23:22,900 --> 00:23:24,220
where it was, and they said it was

876
00:23:24,220 --> 00:23:26,110
on the north side of the building.

877
00:23:26,407 --> 00:23:27,643
When I got to the classroom, I

878
00:23:27,643 --> 00:23:29,610
noticed, there were seven students

879
00:23:29,610 --> 00:23:31,740
there already, and when I looked

880
00:23:31,740 --> 00:23:32,910
at the chalkboard, the teacher had

881
00:23:32,910 --> 00:23:36,197
already drawn, a circle and a triangle.

882
00:23:36,537 --> 00:23:37,317
so right off the bat, did

883
00:23:37,317 --> 00:23:38,217
you get either of those?

884
00:23:38,492 --> 00:23:39,943
circle, triangle and North

885
00:23:40,483 --> 00:23:40,940
And North.

886
00:23:40,940 --> 00:23:41,270
Okay.

887
00:23:41,497 --> 00:23:42,490
here's the interesting thing.

888
00:23:42,825 --> 00:23:43,882
I don't know what this is.

889
00:23:43,882 --> 00:23:45,528
If people don't get, the number

890
00:23:45,528 --> 00:23:47,448
of students very often, I found

891
00:23:47,448 --> 00:23:48,438
sometimes they go for three.

892
00:23:48,438 --> 00:23:49,248
Is that what you did?

893
00:23:49,308 --> 00:23:49,548
Yes.

894
00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:50,478
Okay.

895
00:23:50,478 --> 00:23:50,958
There we go.

896
00:23:50,958 --> 00:23:51,348
Perfect.

897
00:23:51,348 --> 00:23:51,678
Okay.

898
00:23:51,937 --> 00:23:53,688
So now of course this is more

899
00:23:53,688 --> 00:23:55,638
psychological than it is psychic,

900
00:23:55,638 --> 00:23:56,868
but it does a couple things.

901
00:23:56,868 --> 00:23:58,645
Number one, it shows you how this

902
00:23:58,645 --> 00:23:59,995
intuition stuff really works.

903
00:23:59,995 --> 00:24:02,265
'cause there is a level of nine

904
00:24:02,265 --> 00:24:04,065
times outta 10 every single day,

905
00:24:04,341 --> 00:24:06,062
we all make some kind of decision.

906
00:24:06,062 --> 00:24:07,571
And then later on go, ah, I should

907
00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:09,092
have gone with my initial gut instinct.

908
00:24:10,007 --> 00:24:11,522
So much of my work is just skipping

909
00:24:11,522 --> 00:24:14,342
that part that, just skipping that.

910
00:24:14,342 --> 00:24:16,292
So here's how we'll do,

911
00:24:16,465 --> 00:24:17,635
this next part here.

912
00:24:17,635 --> 00:24:19,425
I've got a notepad here.

913
00:24:19,425 --> 00:24:21,392
I'm gonna do, I'm gonna draw

914
00:24:21,392 --> 00:24:23,462
something here while I draw this.

915
00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,228
It's, here comes, the drama is

916
00:24:25,228 --> 00:24:26,488
a little too long to write, so

917
00:24:26,488 --> 00:24:27,838
I'm just gonna write down drama.

918
00:24:28,098 --> 00:24:29,508
so Christa be honest.

919
00:24:29,795 --> 00:24:32,702
when you were younger, have like a tree

920
00:24:32,702 --> 00:24:34,322
or sometimes it's like a picnic table

921
00:24:34,322 --> 00:24:37,372
and like, a park or forest preserve

922
00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:39,982
that has a bunch of like initials

923
00:24:39,982 --> 00:24:42,592
and hearts written and carved on 'em.

924
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:43,012
Okay.

925
00:24:43,042 --> 00:24:44,215
Uh, but you know what

926
00:24:44,215 --> 00:24:45,205
I'm talking about, right?

927
00:24:45,582 --> 00:24:47,028
I know kind of what you're talking about.

928
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:47,268
Like

929
00:24:47,268 --> 00:24:47,388
Yeah.

930
00:24:47,388 --> 00:24:48,438
Where people would put like, you

931
00:24:48,438 --> 00:24:50,928
know, the heart and then obviously 14

932
00:24:50,928 --> 00:24:52,158
year olds with their first crushes,

933
00:24:52,158 --> 00:24:53,988
they put their initial Right, right.

934
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:56,380
And or, And then go back a few

935
00:24:56,380 --> 00:24:57,850
years, it's crossed out, you know.

936
00:24:58,495 --> 00:24:58,990
Yeah, yeah.

937
00:24:59,200 --> 00:24:59,982
You know, that, kind of thing.

938
00:25:00,277 --> 00:25:01,467
it's okay if you never actually did

939
00:25:01,497 --> 00:25:02,967
that, but you can visualize that.

940
00:25:02,967 --> 00:25:03,387
Yes.

941
00:25:03,387 --> 00:25:03,397
Yes.

942
00:25:03,447 --> 00:25:03,627
Yeah.

943
00:25:03,627 --> 00:25:03,747
Okay.

944
00:25:04,102 --> 00:25:06,362
I want you to imagine, we kind of go

945
00:25:06,362 --> 00:25:07,832
back in time in your mind a little

946
00:25:07,832 --> 00:25:09,632
bit and you can see one of those

947
00:25:09,632 --> 00:25:12,025
trees and you can go up and you can

948
00:25:12,025 --> 00:25:13,915
carve like a little heart in it.

949
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:14,252
Mm-hmm.

950
00:25:14,360 --> 00:25:15,865
And put your initials in.

951
00:25:15,865 --> 00:25:18,772
And, what I'd like you to do next is

952
00:25:18,772 --> 00:25:21,215
to think of just one of the people

953
00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:23,555
you can remember having a crush on.

954
00:25:24,150 --> 00:25:25,080
When you were younger.

955
00:25:25,425 --> 00:25:27,120
Now, a couple quick things about this.

956
00:25:27,390 --> 00:25:28,597
just think of their initials.

957
00:25:28,687 --> 00:25:29,167
Okay.

958
00:25:29,498 --> 00:25:31,853
It can be a celebrity crush too,

959
00:25:32,121 --> 00:25:32,936
and it doesn't have to be like

960
00:25:32,936 --> 00:25:35,276
the very, very first one, you

961
00:25:35,276 --> 00:25:36,506
told them or anything like that.

962
00:25:36,506 --> 00:25:37,766
It could have been a secret crush.

963
00:25:37,766 --> 00:25:39,506
It could be, and I won't cry for this.

964
00:25:39,506 --> 00:25:39,776
Okay.

965
00:25:39,776 --> 00:25:41,036
Since this is podcast and going

966
00:25:41,036 --> 00:25:42,266
back, that's why we're just sticking

967
00:25:42,266 --> 00:25:44,283
with initials for this, situation.

968
00:25:44,283 --> 00:25:46,486
But at this point right now, again,

969
00:25:46,744 --> 00:25:48,026
we've talked on social media, but

970
00:25:48,026 --> 00:25:49,616
there's no way I could know whose

971
00:25:49,616 --> 00:25:51,146
initials you decided on just now.

972
00:25:51,146 --> 00:25:51,236
Yes.

973
00:25:51,296 --> 00:25:51,386
Mm-hmm.

974
00:25:51,746 --> 00:25:52,496
Right, right.

975
00:25:52,736 --> 00:25:53,396
Got them in mind.

976
00:25:53,441 --> 00:25:53,861
Mm-hmm.

977
00:25:54,411 --> 00:25:54,701
Okay.

978
00:25:55,091 --> 00:25:56,703
This is gonna sound a little strange,

979
00:25:56,893 --> 00:25:58,523
but I'm gonna ask you to look right

980
00:25:58,523 --> 00:26:00,143
at your camera, not at the screen at

981
00:26:00,143 --> 00:26:01,253
me, but look right at your camera.

982
00:26:01,283 --> 00:26:01,463
Okay.

983
00:26:01,793 --> 00:26:01,973
Okay.

984
00:26:01,973 --> 00:26:02,063
Look

985
00:26:02,273 --> 00:26:03,923
at both those initials and don't react.

986
00:26:04,584 --> 00:26:05,819
And here I go.

987
00:26:06,459 --> 00:26:09,459
A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-V-W-X-Y-Z.

988
00:26:13,084 --> 00:26:13,321
Okay.

989
00:26:13,559 --> 00:26:14,819
I'm also gonna do this backwards.

990
00:26:15,378 --> 00:26:22,278
Z-Y-X-W-V-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A.

991
00:26:23,598 --> 00:26:23,913
Okay.

992
00:26:23,913 --> 00:26:25,033
I think you might have stopped thinking of

993
00:26:25,033 --> 00:26:26,173
the initials 'cause you were like, oh my

994
00:26:26,173 --> 00:26:27,763
gosh, he actually can do this backwards.

995
00:26:28,123 --> 00:26:29,143
I'm gonna do this once more.

996
00:26:29,261 --> 00:26:30,283
Think of both initials.

997
00:26:30,295 --> 00:26:30,984
1 more time.

998
00:26:31,384 --> 00:26:35,234
Z-Y-X-W-V-T-S-R-Q-P-O-N-M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F-E-D-C-B-A..

999
00:26:35,604 --> 00:26:35,964
Okay.

1000
00:26:36,109 --> 00:26:38,271
Uh, I believe, yeah, I'm gonna say

1001
00:26:38,271 --> 00:26:39,908
it both, both initials are different.

1002
00:26:39,908 --> 00:26:40,178
Yes.

1003
00:26:40,178 --> 00:26:41,798
It's not the same initial twice.

1004
00:26:41,918 --> 00:26:42,008
Mm-hmm.

1005
00:26:42,021 --> 00:26:42,728
Both are different.

1006
00:26:43,098 --> 00:26:44,248
you know what, I'm gonna go for it too.

1007
00:26:44,498 --> 00:26:46,408
I'm gonna say they're both consonants.

1008
00:26:46,558 --> 00:26:47,068
Yes.

1009
00:26:47,098 --> 00:26:47,763
Neither is a vowel.

1010
00:26:48,063 --> 00:26:48,283
Yes.

1011
00:26:48,508 --> 00:26:48,798
Yeah.

1012
00:26:49,108 --> 00:26:49,398
Okay.

1013
00:26:49,949 --> 00:26:50,639
I think I got it.

1014
00:26:50,639 --> 00:26:50,729
Then.

1015
00:26:50,729 --> 00:26:52,109
I'm gonna write this down just to extra

1016
00:26:52,109 --> 00:26:53,793
commit so people don't just think you're

1017
00:26:53,793 --> 00:26:55,263
just saying yes to whatever I say.

1018
00:26:55,593 --> 00:26:55,923
Okay.

1019
00:26:56,043 --> 00:26:56,913
I've written that down.

1020
00:26:57,333 --> 00:26:58,974
Uh, I'll leave the pad up here in

1021
00:26:58,974 --> 00:27:00,474
frame so you can keep an eye on it.

1022
00:27:00,784 --> 00:27:01,984
what's the initials of the

1023
00:27:01,984 --> 00:27:02,764
person you're thinking of?

1024
00:27:02,764 --> 00:27:03,454
You can tell us.

1025
00:27:03,838 --> 00:27:04,798
Tj,

1026
00:27:05,138 --> 00:27:05,708
one more time.

1027
00:27:05,708 --> 00:27:06,518
You kind of lagged out.

1028
00:27:08,018 --> 00:27:08,238
TJ

1029
00:27:09,563 --> 00:27:10,826
tj, did they actually

1030
00:27:10,826 --> 00:27:12,596
go by TJ by any chance?

1031
00:27:12,953 --> 00:27:13,733
do you remember?

1032
00:27:14,254 --> 00:27:14,883
I mean,

1033
00:27:15,304 --> 00:27:16,049
not that you recall.

1034
00:27:16,386 --> 00:27:17,598
they went by like their actual

1035
00:27:17,598 --> 00:27:18,618
first name is why I'm saying

1036
00:27:18,618 --> 00:27:19,818
they go by like the initials.

1037
00:27:20,091 --> 00:27:20,778
Like my dad sometimes

1038
00:27:20,778 --> 00:27:22,128
calls me JD sometimes.

1039
00:27:22,158 --> 00:27:22,608
Yeah.

1040
00:27:22,971 --> 00:27:23,151
Okay.

1041
00:27:23,181 --> 00:27:24,868
Um, if I'm thinking in my initial

1042
00:27:24,868 --> 00:27:26,668
person, their initials were tj.

1043
00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:27,208
Okay.

1044
00:27:27,238 --> 00:27:27,808
That's fine.

1045
00:27:27,808 --> 00:27:29,781
I just wanted to make sure that, uh, they

1046
00:27:29,781 --> 00:27:31,521
didn't try reaching out to you after this,

1047
00:27:31,521 --> 00:27:33,871
because that is, exactly what I got, tj.

1048
00:27:38,641 --> 00:27:39,541
Wow.

1049
00:27:39,874 --> 00:27:40,688
That is wild.

1050
00:27:41,108 --> 00:27:42,578
People can watch back on YouTube

1051
00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:43,991
and see that I did in fact draw a

1052
00:27:43,991 --> 00:27:45,668
heart with, Christa's initials and

1053
00:27:45,668 --> 00:27:48,053
then tj, underneath, I'm going to,

1054
00:27:48,053 --> 00:27:49,013
I'll take a picture of this too

1055
00:27:49,013 --> 00:27:50,123
and send it to you so we can write

1056
00:27:50,123 --> 00:27:52,553
on Instagram and all that later.

1057
00:27:52,849 --> 00:27:54,477
So that's, uh, and that's a perfect

1058
00:27:54,477 --> 00:27:56,287
example too of, you receiving

1059
00:27:56,287 --> 00:27:58,407
thoughts from me, but also you

1060
00:27:58,407 --> 00:28:00,027
sending thoughts to me as well.

1061
00:28:00,337 --> 00:28:01,899
there's a lot of that kind of stuff going

1062
00:28:01,899 --> 00:28:04,859
on in the show too, where either I am

1063
00:28:04,859 --> 00:28:06,239
picking up on thoughts from other people,

1064
00:28:06,239 --> 00:28:07,619
but there are also points where they're

1065
00:28:07,619 --> 00:28:09,872
picking up on thoughts from me and I'm

1066
00:28:09,872 --> 00:28:11,432
trying to find, and there are different

1067
00:28:11,432 --> 00:28:14,192
things in the shows that I do that involve

1068
00:28:14,192 --> 00:28:16,172
different people's intuitions and such.

1069
00:28:16,262 --> 00:28:18,272
and again, part of also your reaction

1070
00:28:18,272 --> 00:28:20,372
was crisis there too, by, thank you.

1071
00:28:20,882 --> 00:28:21,812
I'm just like shocked.

1072
00:28:21,812 --> 00:28:23,552
I was like, there's no way

1073
00:28:23,762 --> 00:28:24,452
we're over Zoom.

1074
00:28:24,452 --> 00:28:25,172
How is he gonna do it?

1075
00:28:25,172 --> 00:28:25,502
Over Zoom.

1076
00:28:25,502 --> 00:28:26,312
I was only thinking like

1077
00:28:26,342 --> 00:28:28,412
third grade, my first crush.

1078
00:28:28,442 --> 00:28:29,042
And I'm like, I haven't

1079
00:28:29,042 --> 00:28:30,132
thought of this person.

1080
00:28:30,581 --> 00:28:31,511
How long ago was that?

1081
00:28:31,511 --> 00:28:33,067
30, Almost 30 years.

1082
00:28:33,362 --> 00:28:33,482
Probably

1083
00:28:33,622 --> 00:28:35,137
25 years When you, you were two not in

1084
00:28:35,137 --> 00:28:36,667
second grade when you were two, right?

1085
00:28:36,667 --> 00:28:37,477
Right, exactly.

1086
00:28:37,761 --> 00:28:37,987
Yes.

1087
00:28:38,167 --> 00:28:39,547
Yeah, absolutely.

1088
00:28:39,553 --> 00:28:41,617
Absolutely, absolutely.

1089
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:42,827
we'll do more at the end of

1090
00:28:42,827 --> 00:28:43,997
course, but that's a little bit

1091
00:28:43,997 --> 00:28:46,147
of a sneak peek I'm also curious

1092
00:28:46,147 --> 00:28:47,787
if anyone else, picked up on this.

1093
00:28:47,787 --> 00:28:48,777
'cause I know some people

1094
00:28:48,777 --> 00:28:49,557
are just listening.

1095
00:28:49,557 --> 00:28:51,627
Some people could see you, wondering if

1096
00:28:51,627 --> 00:28:53,397
anyone else, because normally what I'm

1097
00:28:53,397 --> 00:28:56,307
just doing is I'm just trying to feel

1098
00:28:56,307 --> 00:28:58,137
which letter feels right, basically.

1099
00:28:58,274 --> 00:28:59,017
and then trying to get

1100
00:28:59,017 --> 00:28:59,767
'em in the right order.

1101
00:29:00,047 --> 00:29:01,111
but yeah, but I'm really glad

1102
00:29:01,111 --> 00:29:02,341
every once in a while, just for

1103
00:29:02,341 --> 00:29:03,331
example, this is another thing too.

1104
00:29:03,421 --> 00:29:04,651
Sometimes I've gotten the initials

1105
00:29:04,651 --> 00:29:06,967
reversed, but like people will

1106
00:29:06,967 --> 00:29:08,017
still kind of give that to me,

1107
00:29:08,017 --> 00:29:09,637
even though it's technically wrong.

1108
00:29:09,941 --> 00:29:11,617
It's like, okay, You were right.

1109
00:29:11,677 --> 00:29:12,697
You know, it's there.

1110
00:29:12,814 --> 00:29:15,167
and the course of a whole show again,

1111
00:29:15,167 --> 00:29:16,577
if something like that happens,

1112
00:29:16,577 --> 00:29:17,837
it's not the end of the world.

1113
00:29:18,117 --> 00:29:20,437
I'd rather that than get both, or

1114
00:29:20,437 --> 00:29:21,847
just even one of the two initials

1115
00:29:21,937 --> 00:29:23,717
incorrect, but even when I do pick

1116
00:29:23,747 --> 00:29:25,337
up on it, like one of the other day I

1117
00:29:25,337 --> 00:29:27,884
said to a woman, I'm getting a motherly

1118
00:29:27,884 --> 00:29:29,174
vibe, but this isn't your mother.

1119
00:29:29,354 --> 00:29:31,917
And she was like, and her eyes

1120
00:29:31,917 --> 00:29:33,597
went wide and she's like, she

1121
00:29:33,597 --> 00:29:35,907
just had her first kid, like, wow.

1122
00:29:35,907 --> 00:29:36,807
Wasn't even on social

1123
00:29:36,807 --> 00:29:37,857
media yet or anything.

1124
00:29:38,134 --> 00:29:41,027
So even when I am wrong, there's

1125
00:29:41,027 --> 00:29:42,407
still a reason why I am picking

1126
00:29:42,407 --> 00:29:43,817
up on what I'm picking up on.

1127
00:29:43,907 --> 00:29:45,557
It is, again, much more about

1128
00:29:45,557 --> 00:29:47,537
the intuition, the empathy,

1129
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:49,217
the connecting with people.

1130
00:29:49,467 --> 00:29:51,735
Mind reader just sounds more, show busy

1131
00:29:51,735 --> 00:29:53,955
and interesting than feeling feeler.

1132
00:29:54,243 --> 00:29:54,793
right, right, right.

1133
00:29:54,873 --> 00:29:56,223
I'm feeling other people's feelings.

1134
00:29:56,580 --> 00:29:57,587
so yeah, so that's a little bit

1135
00:29:57,587 --> 00:29:59,114
of an insight into how that works.

1136
00:29:59,114 --> 00:30:00,314
And in the show too, I talk

1137
00:30:00,314 --> 00:30:01,684
about like, yep, I still have

1138
00:30:01,684 --> 00:30:02,734
stupid stuff happened to me.

1139
00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:03,844
And I tell some stories about

1140
00:30:03,844 --> 00:30:05,285
that too and everything.

1141
00:30:05,582 --> 00:30:06,812
part of the fun of it is again, you

1142
00:30:06,812 --> 00:30:08,102
never know how people are going to

1143
00:30:08,102 --> 00:30:10,022
react or what they're gonna think of.

1144
00:30:10,392 --> 00:30:10,752
so yeah.

1145
00:30:11,124 --> 00:30:11,749
Wow.

1146
00:30:12,052 --> 00:30:12,592
I'm blown away.

1147
00:30:12,592 --> 00:30:13,282
That's wild.

1148
00:30:13,462 --> 00:30:13,972
That's,

1149
00:30:14,062 --> 00:30:14,392
thank you.

1150
00:30:14,744 --> 00:30:16,499
Can't even comprehend that.

1151
00:30:22,361 --> 00:30:22,691
okay.

1152
00:30:22,691 --> 00:30:24,824
So, let's jump into, you said you have

1153
00:30:24,824 --> 00:30:26,474
a lot of, wild stories of things that

1154
00:30:26,474 --> 00:30:29,621
you've either seen at shows or, witnessed.

1155
00:30:29,801 --> 00:30:30,791
what's one of the stories

1156
00:30:30,791 --> 00:30:31,871
that you would wanna share?

1157
00:30:31,955 --> 00:30:33,031
do you want one?

1158
00:30:33,031 --> 00:30:34,021
Well, I'm gonna ask you,

1159
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:35,311
do you want like just.

1160
00:30:35,629 --> 00:30:37,449
a wild story or two full stop, or do

1161
00:30:37,449 --> 00:30:41,119
you want particularly wedding related?

1162
00:30:41,458 --> 00:30:41,917
Um, it doesn't

1163
00:30:41,917 --> 00:30:42,872
need to be wedding related.

1164
00:30:42,902 --> 00:30:43,292
Okay.

1165
00:30:43,459 --> 00:30:45,906
before I say this, there's literally

1166
00:30:46,199 --> 00:30:50,734
one piece of advice I try to give people

1167
00:30:51,028 --> 00:30:54,297
for events, and it's only half the time

1168
00:30:54,558 --> 00:30:55,974
you'll see what I mean in a moment.

1169
00:30:56,271 --> 00:30:58,047
if there's only one after, doing all

1170
00:30:58,047 --> 00:30:59,307
these different events, I've been

1171
00:30:59,307 --> 00:31:01,767
at people's house parties, they're

1172
00:31:02,051 --> 00:31:04,471
50th anniversaries, 50th birthdays,

1173
00:31:04,517 --> 00:31:06,734
weddings, vow renewals, all of them.

1174
00:31:07,093 --> 00:31:08,624
Bachelor parties, bachelorette

1175
00:31:08,624 --> 00:31:10,214
parties, divorce parties.

1176
00:31:10,538 --> 00:31:11,801
There's one thing I've learned.

1177
00:31:12,301 --> 00:31:15,334
It's easier to move outside

1178
00:31:15,364 --> 00:31:17,254
than it is to move inside.

1179
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,911
Don't count on good weather.

1180
00:31:20,321 --> 00:31:21,996
when people have like the food

1181
00:31:21,996 --> 00:31:23,736
under a tent outside, I'm just

1182
00:31:23,736 --> 00:31:26,256
like, you are inviting disaster.

1183
00:31:27,096 --> 00:31:27,366
Yes.

1184
00:31:27,366 --> 00:31:28,326
Have it in the, totally

1185
00:31:28,326 --> 00:31:29,286
have it in the kitchen.

1186
00:31:29,536 --> 00:31:31,593
before my show, I was just setting up

1187
00:31:31,593 --> 00:31:34,293
in the living room ' cause the skies

1188
00:31:34,293 --> 00:31:36,299
were looking a little not so great and

1189
00:31:36,299 --> 00:31:38,039
they opened up and the wind blew in

1190
00:31:38,381 --> 00:31:40,796
and the uncle tried to run in, in the

1191
00:31:40,796 --> 00:31:42,836
rain with a big plaque full of ribs

1192
00:31:43,078 --> 00:31:46,693
and tripped and all over the floor.

1193
00:31:46,978 --> 00:31:49,823
And if it was just inside.

1194
00:31:50,344 --> 00:31:52,234
luckily it wasn't during my show,

1195
00:31:52,234 --> 00:31:54,004
but still that has, are you okay?

1196
00:31:54,304 --> 00:31:55,384
All this other stuff.

1197
00:31:55,688 --> 00:31:57,894
just if there was, had just started

1198
00:31:57,894 --> 00:32:01,374
inside, like, I get it as Midwesterners,

1199
00:32:01,374 --> 00:32:02,814
we have seasonal blindness.

1200
00:32:02,814 --> 00:32:03,684
We think just 'cause it's

1201
00:32:03,684 --> 00:32:04,884
summer, it's gonna be great.

1202
00:32:05,166 --> 00:32:06,154
and then when it's the winter,

1203
00:32:06,154 --> 00:32:07,474
we're somehow surprised.

1204
00:32:07,794 --> 00:32:08,401
like, what?

1205
00:32:08,401 --> 00:32:09,661
I can't believe, you know.

1206
00:32:10,063 --> 00:32:11,378
Every year there's someone on the news

1207
00:32:11,378 --> 00:32:12,818
complaining that they have to shovel snow.

1208
00:32:12,818 --> 00:32:13,748
I'm like, yeah, same time.

1209
00:32:13,748 --> 00:32:14,168
Every year

1210
00:32:14,168 --> 00:32:15,128
happens every year.

1211
00:32:15,278 --> 00:32:15,488
Yeah.

1212
00:32:15,488 --> 00:32:16,718
Probably the first week of January.

1213
00:32:16,794 --> 00:32:17,124
what do you know?

1214
00:32:17,726 --> 00:32:20,543
and it sounds so simple

1215
00:32:20,543 --> 00:32:21,983
and kind of like Yeah.

1216
00:32:21,983 --> 00:32:24,103
Do ridiculous, but those are

1217
00:32:24,103 --> 00:32:26,199
often the ones that go overlooked.

1218
00:32:26,229 --> 00:32:26,289
Yeah.

1219
00:32:26,609 --> 00:32:27,969
that said, no matter how much

1220
00:32:27,969 --> 00:32:29,856
you plan, just never know.

1221
00:32:30,223 --> 00:32:33,796
very early in my career, I was

1222
00:32:33,796 --> 00:32:36,226
setting up for a show and they had a

1223
00:32:36,226 --> 00:32:40,873
mechanical bull going and it didn't

1224
00:32:40,873 --> 00:32:42,313
look like I was getting, we were getting

1225
00:32:42,313 --> 00:32:43,973
closer and closer to my, contracted

1226
00:32:43,973 --> 00:32:45,773
showtime and it didn't look like they

1227
00:32:45,773 --> 00:32:47,513
were turning that off anytime soon.

1228
00:32:47,823 --> 00:32:49,643
And I went to the woman hosting the event

1229
00:32:49,643 --> 00:32:51,409
and I was like, Hey, are we gonna turn

1230
00:32:51,409 --> 00:32:53,149
the mechanical bull off during the show?

1231
00:32:53,463 --> 00:32:54,649
And she sincerely looked

1232
00:32:54,649 --> 00:32:55,669
at me and went, why?

1233
00:32:56,173 --> 00:32:57,159
cause we'll be doing the show.

1234
00:32:57,159 --> 00:32:58,479
She's like, well, people can do that too.

1235
00:32:58,479 --> 00:33:00,806
I'm like, so during the show, all

1236
00:33:00,806 --> 00:33:01,916
right, think of the name of this person.

1237
00:33:01,916 --> 00:33:04,676
Think of how many letters just off.

1238
00:33:06,776 --> 00:33:07,556
Alright, think of this.

1239
00:33:10,203 --> 00:33:11,126
It's like, oh my God.

1240
00:33:13,793 --> 00:33:16,153
So now I probably would've, and I'm sure

1241
00:33:16,153 --> 00:33:18,229
we've all had this, where like, , we have

1242
00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:19,879
to be a little firmer with the customers.

1243
00:33:19,879 --> 00:33:21,114
Like they think they want it a

1244
00:33:21,114 --> 00:33:23,543
certain way, but like, yeah, another

1245
00:33:23,543 --> 00:33:26,019
one is always, Hey, let's have me

1246
00:33:26,019 --> 00:33:27,674
on after dinner, before awards.

1247
00:33:28,371 --> 00:33:29,029
Like, no, no, we want

1248
00:33:29,029 --> 00:33:29,899
you as the grand finale.

1249
00:33:29,899 --> 00:33:31,219
We want you as the grand finale.

1250
00:33:31,564 --> 00:33:33,963
Last two times they did that after

1251
00:33:33,963 --> 00:33:35,043
people had their awards and they had

1252
00:33:35,043 --> 00:33:36,693
been fed literally up to half the

1253
00:33:36,693 --> 00:33:38,373
room left as they were, you booked

1254
00:33:38,373 --> 00:33:39,873
it as they were introducing me.

1255
00:33:40,231 --> 00:33:41,201
Oh no.

1256
00:33:41,401 --> 00:33:41,911
I'm just like, you need

1257
00:33:41,911 --> 00:33:42,781
entertainment early.

1258
00:33:43,021 --> 00:33:43,321
Yeah.

1259
00:33:43,471 --> 00:33:44,958
So I'm like, okay, everyone in

1260
00:33:44,958 --> 00:33:46,068
the back, let's move forward.

1261
00:33:46,068 --> 00:33:46,968
Let's, let's make this

1262
00:33:46,968 --> 00:33:48,168
feel less like a bus stop.

1263
00:33:48,198 --> 00:33:49,848
That's a friend of mine, a show busing.

1264
00:33:50,768 --> 00:33:51,618
It's like, let's make this feel more

1265
00:33:51,618 --> 00:33:52,878
like a show and less like a bus stop.

1266
00:33:52,878 --> 00:33:53,220
Come on.

1267
00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:54,408
Like, let's get in close and

1268
00:33:54,408 --> 00:33:55,931
enter and connect and stuff.

1269
00:33:55,931 --> 00:33:57,011
'cause yeah, when you've got those,

1270
00:33:57,341 --> 00:33:58,991
when you've got tables and gaps of

1271
00:33:58,991 --> 00:34:00,881
people, it's just harder for everyone

1272
00:34:00,881 --> 00:34:03,928
to kind of, again, connect basically.

1273
00:34:03,928 --> 00:34:03,988
Yeah.

1274
00:34:04,138 --> 00:34:05,353
The bulk of this is connection.

1275
00:34:05,726 --> 00:34:08,026
I've been pretty lucky with

1276
00:34:08,086 --> 00:34:09,736
weddings in particular.

1277
00:34:10,063 --> 00:34:12,093
overall like the ones I've actually

1278
00:34:12,093 --> 00:34:17,189
performed at, The wedding I didn't perform

1279
00:34:17,189 --> 00:34:20,009
at, because three weeks beforehand,

1280
00:34:20,283 --> 00:34:22,119
they called saying it was canceled.

1281
00:34:22,416 --> 00:34:24,553
the groom had run off with

1282
00:34:24,839 --> 00:34:27,989
the bride's best friend Jim.

1283
00:34:27,989 --> 00:34:30,549
Oh, so yeah, the

1284
00:34:30,609 --> 00:34:31,389
bride's best friend.

1285
00:34:31,389 --> 00:34:31,959
Jeremy.

1286
00:34:32,079 --> 00:34:33,129
Jeremy, yes.

1287
00:34:33,189 --> 00:34:34,804
So there was a lot to unpack from,

1288
00:34:34,804 --> 00:34:36,039
there's a lot to unpack there.

1289
00:34:36,039 --> 00:34:36,219
Yeah.

1290
00:34:36,219 --> 00:34:36,309
Yes.

1291
00:34:36,639 --> 00:34:37,509
So,

1292
00:34:37,849 --> 00:34:38,069
wow.

1293
00:34:38,069 --> 00:34:38,189
You know,

1294
00:34:40,139 --> 00:34:40,559
humans are

1295
00:34:40,559 --> 00:34:40,649
com

1296
00:34:40,649 --> 00:34:41,219
that's a call that

1297
00:34:41,849 --> 00:34:42,149
Yeah.

1298
00:34:42,149 --> 00:34:43,319
Humans are complicated.

1299
00:34:43,573 --> 00:34:46,716
they had another, event for his work,

1300
00:34:46,716 --> 00:34:48,822
so they were able to, that's the thing

1301
00:34:48,822 --> 00:34:50,502
too, like normally when people book,

1302
00:34:50,502 --> 00:34:52,152
it's, for a specific date and time, I

1303
00:34:52,152 --> 00:34:53,142
don't wanna be on the hook with someone

1304
00:34:53,142 --> 00:34:54,462
forever, but if they call and it's

1305
00:34:54,462 --> 00:34:56,232
something like ridiculous like that.

1306
00:34:56,618 --> 00:34:57,580
because that's the other thing people

1307
00:34:57,580 --> 00:34:58,817
don't realize too, is like they're

1308
00:34:58,817 --> 00:35:00,047
not paying for the show that day.

1309
00:35:00,047 --> 00:35:00,857
They're paying for the six

1310
00:35:00,857 --> 00:35:01,997
months of you telling no.

1311
00:35:02,027 --> 00:35:02,897
Telling everyone else No.

1312
00:35:02,897 --> 00:35:03,647
For that date and time.

1313
00:35:03,677 --> 00:35:04,097
Yes.

1314
00:35:04,102 --> 00:35:04,352
Mm-hmm.

1315
00:35:04,437 --> 00:35:06,617
And also, in my opinion, builds better

1316
00:35:06,617 --> 00:35:08,867
trust because they know I'm not gonna.

1317
00:35:09,317 --> 00:35:10,697
Abandon them for something, for

1318
00:35:10,697 --> 00:35:12,027
more money, but no, you're both

1319
00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:12,807
holding the date.

1320
00:35:13,017 --> 00:35:14,607
Yes, we're both holding the dates.

1321
00:35:14,677 --> 00:35:15,757
it's very clear.

1322
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:17,908
and of course, if I am sick for any

1323
00:35:17,908 --> 00:35:20,065
reason and not unable to do it, which I've

1324
00:35:20,065 --> 00:35:21,415
only had to do this once in my career,

1325
00:35:21,415 --> 00:35:23,275
knock on wood, give them a choice of

1326
00:35:23,275 --> 00:35:25,329
a backup entertainer or just a refund.

1327
00:35:25,741 --> 00:35:27,211
but they had another company event coming

1328
00:35:27,211 --> 00:35:29,011
up, like just in the next month, and they

1329
00:35:29,011 --> 00:35:30,451
had booked me for other stuff before,

1330
00:35:30,851 --> 00:35:32,648
and it was their daughter, so it was

1331
00:35:32,648 --> 00:35:34,358
like, yeah, she'll need to be cheered up.

1332
00:35:34,363 --> 00:35:35,073
So, oh

1333
00:35:35,333 --> 00:35:35,553
my.

1334
00:35:35,743 --> 00:35:36,033
Yeah.

1335
00:35:36,758 --> 00:35:39,195
So that was probably like, I

1336
00:35:39,195 --> 00:35:40,395
mean, at least it didn't happen

1337
00:35:40,395 --> 00:35:41,695
at the wedding, you know, okay.

1338
00:35:41,781 --> 00:35:42,741
At least that.

1339
00:35:43,111 --> 00:35:44,761
again, what I've done actually more

1340
00:35:44,761 --> 00:35:46,411
than even weddings have been like.

1341
00:35:46,715 --> 00:35:48,498
Bridal parties and rehearsal dinners

1342
00:35:48,498 --> 00:35:50,268
like the night before when it is just

1343
00:35:50,268 --> 00:35:52,638
the smaller family and it is, for

1344
00:35:52,638 --> 00:35:54,168
lack of a better term, more intimate.

1345
00:35:54,498 --> 00:35:54,748
Yeah.

1346
00:35:54,798 --> 00:35:55,775
Because it's also two sides

1347
00:35:55,775 --> 00:35:56,765
of the family that maybe don't

1348
00:35:56,765 --> 00:35:58,055
know each other super well.

1349
00:35:58,201 --> 00:35:58,348
Mm-hmm.

1350
00:35:58,588 --> 00:36:01,878
So rather than trying to make something

1351
00:36:01,878 --> 00:36:04,158
work during the bride and groom's big

1352
00:36:04,158 --> 00:36:05,448
day, which is, I've done, you know,

1353
00:36:05,448 --> 00:36:07,688
I've done that show and it's worked.

1354
00:36:08,021 --> 00:36:10,195
but I think even better for like,

1355
00:36:10,548 --> 00:36:11,391
Yes, it's about them,

1356
00:36:11,391 --> 00:36:12,471
but it's about all of us.

1357
00:36:12,591 --> 00:36:14,181
you all have a big day tomorrow.

1358
00:36:14,428 --> 00:36:15,875
This is the time to kind of cut loose

1359
00:36:15,875 --> 00:36:17,615
and have fun and get to know one another.

1360
00:36:17,891 --> 00:36:19,425
and again, because there's the blend

1361
00:36:19,425 --> 00:36:21,495
of, half the people know only half

1362
00:36:21,495 --> 00:36:23,035
the people, they know the other people

1363
00:36:23,035 --> 00:36:24,928
aren't in on it and they're act and

1364
00:36:24,928 --> 00:36:26,128
they have something to talk about.

1365
00:36:26,128 --> 00:36:27,748
They have a shared experience now too.

1366
00:36:27,748 --> 00:36:27,838
Mm-hmm.

1367
00:36:28,078 --> 00:36:29,548
I have found those, those have

1368
00:36:29,548 --> 00:36:30,598
been, I've been very lucky

1369
00:36:30,598 --> 00:36:31,708
that those have been great.

1370
00:36:31,708 --> 00:36:33,788
None of those have been the, problem gigs.

1371
00:36:34,085 --> 00:36:39,171
probably the absolute, worst gig I ever

1372
00:36:39,171 --> 00:36:44,096
did was, again, fairly early in my career.

1373
00:36:44,390 --> 00:36:47,210
I was on after a band at

1374
00:36:47,210 --> 00:36:49,316
like this mini festival.

1375
00:36:49,763 --> 00:36:52,688
And the guy started introducing me as

1376
00:36:52,688 --> 00:36:54,908
the band was striking their stuff, and

1377
00:36:54,908 --> 00:36:56,288
no one was paying attention, right?

1378
00:36:56,288 --> 00:36:58,028
Like, I hear what he was saying.

1379
00:36:58,430 --> 00:37:00,971
So I'm like, okay, well I'm gonna have to

1380
00:37:00,971 --> 00:37:02,411
get him back up here to reintroduce me.

1381
00:37:02,411 --> 00:37:03,628
And I just, put my stuff up.

1382
00:37:03,846 --> 00:37:05,308
And one of the guys from the band goes,

1383
00:37:05,690 --> 00:37:07,961
oh dude, did he introduce you early?

1384
00:37:08,166 --> 00:37:09,311
Don't worry, I'll stall.

1385
00:37:10,001 --> 00:37:11,981
Ladies and gentlemen, he's

1386
00:37:11,981 --> 00:37:14,651
going to invade your minds.

1387
00:37:14,651 --> 00:37:17,411
Mr. What's your name again, bro?

1388
00:37:20,201 --> 00:37:20,831
Joe Diamond.

1389
00:37:21,140 --> 00:37:22,661
Joe Diamond.

1390
00:37:22,661 --> 00:37:24,581
Like, I'm like, oh no.

1391
00:37:24,870 --> 00:37:26,081
Now people are watching.

1392
00:37:26,921 --> 00:37:27,071
Yeah.

1393
00:37:27,491 --> 00:37:29,441
So now I have the opposite problem, right?

1394
00:37:29,830 --> 00:37:32,930
so at start, they're still striking

1395
00:37:33,260 --> 00:37:34,866
every other word you can't hear

1396
00:37:34,866 --> 00:37:36,486
because they're unplugging all their

1397
00:37:36,486 --> 00:37:37,956
instruments and amps all the ka k.

1398
00:37:40,523 --> 00:37:41,706
They finally finish.

1399
00:37:41,706 --> 00:37:43,460
I'm into like, I only have to

1400
00:37:43,460 --> 00:37:45,050
do like a 20 minute set too.

1401
00:37:45,253 --> 00:37:46,030
that's the worst part.

1402
00:37:46,030 --> 00:37:47,260
It felt like it, I've done hour

1403
00:37:47,260 --> 00:37:48,730
shows that haven't felt this long,

1404
00:37:48,980 --> 00:37:50,546
and I'm like, at the halfway mark,

1405
00:37:50,546 --> 00:37:52,196
I'm like, okay, I've got them.

1406
00:37:52,510 --> 00:37:55,916
And literally beep, beep.

1407
00:37:56,126 --> 00:37:58,496
The next band is backing their truck

1408
00:37:58,501 --> 00:38:00,896
in and it's just a curtain behind.

1409
00:38:00,896 --> 00:38:00,986
Oh my

1410
00:38:01,496 --> 00:38:02,006
God.

1411
00:38:02,143 --> 00:38:03,223
and I just stopped and

1412
00:38:03,223 --> 00:38:04,393
just started laughing.

1413
00:38:04,393 --> 00:38:07,106
I was just like, uh.

1414
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:09,193
Some things just aren't meant to be.

1415
00:38:12,133 --> 00:38:13,743
I did have a few people who came up to

1416
00:38:13,743 --> 00:38:15,393
me afterwards and said, Hey, good job.

1417
00:38:15,393 --> 00:38:16,623
That must have been really tough.

1418
00:38:16,993 --> 00:38:19,536
now, I feel like again, just the

1419
00:38:19,536 --> 00:38:21,946
level of planning of like, okay, I

1420
00:38:21,946 --> 00:38:22,966
have written out my introduction.

1421
00:38:22,966 --> 00:38:24,453
Do not introduce me till I'm ready.

1422
00:38:24,763 --> 00:38:25,953
There's this, there's that.

1423
00:38:26,173 --> 00:38:28,220
I have actually some pre-show music

1424
00:38:28,220 --> 00:38:29,360
and stuff that like gets people's

1425
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,550
attention to for like louder events.

1426
00:38:31,826 --> 00:38:33,363
and it's only a mistake if

1427
00:38:33,363 --> 00:38:34,503
you don't learn from it.

1428
00:38:34,563 --> 00:38:36,783
And I learn as much as possible.

1429
00:38:36,783 --> 00:38:38,566
So I've avoided, disasters

1430
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:39,796
much bigger than that.

1431
00:38:40,283 --> 00:38:41,123
there's some stories that

1432
00:38:41,123 --> 00:38:42,383
my friends have told that.

1433
00:38:42,696 --> 00:38:43,931
Beat me every single day, but

1434
00:38:43,931 --> 00:38:45,081
they're not my stories to share.

1435
00:38:45,711 --> 00:38:46,401
No, I get that.

1436
00:38:46,836 --> 00:38:46,988
Yeah.

1437
00:38:46,988 --> 00:38:48,838
No, I feel like those, early days or I

1438
00:38:48,838 --> 00:38:50,785
feel like everything is just like, you

1439
00:38:50,790 --> 00:38:53,568
learn from I know early days of like being

1440
00:38:53,568 --> 00:38:55,188
a part of weddings and doing different

1441
00:38:55,188 --> 00:38:57,311
things, I'm like, take note for next time.

1442
00:38:57,488 --> 00:38:59,528
you just like, and people will people,

1443
00:38:59,708 --> 00:39:00,758
so you learned from different people

1444
00:39:00,758 --> 00:39:00,818
too.

1445
00:39:00,833 --> 00:39:02,228
People will, will people will people.

1446
00:39:02,558 --> 00:39:02,738
Oh my God.

1447
00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:04,951
ended up being a, great show, because

1448
00:39:04,951 --> 00:39:07,321
I've done a few Bachelor and bachelorette

1449
00:39:07,321 --> 00:39:09,151
parties because sometimes they don't

1450
00:39:09,151 --> 00:39:11,848
want to get in trouble with a, we'll

1451
00:39:11,848 --> 00:39:14,521
just say adult entertainer of some kind.

1452
00:39:14,588 --> 00:39:14,818
yes.

1453
00:39:15,118 --> 00:39:16,408
Negotiated against that

1454
00:39:16,408 --> 00:39:17,578
or anything like that.

1455
00:39:17,881 --> 00:39:18,568
I have friends in that

1456
00:39:18,568 --> 00:39:19,798
industry, all that stuff.

1457
00:39:19,798 --> 00:39:21,838
But some people just don't wanna,

1458
00:39:22,020 --> 00:39:23,280
it's an extra layer of drama

1459
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,060
they don't wanna deal with.

1460
00:39:24,150 --> 00:39:25,410
And that is totally fine.

1461
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:26,940
That said, no one gave

1462
00:39:26,940 --> 00:39:28,560
the memo to grandma.

1463
00:39:28,910 --> 00:39:30,506
So I showed up and she just looked me

1464
00:39:30,506 --> 00:39:32,336
up and down and kind of scrunched her

1465
00:39:32,336 --> 00:39:34,500
face and just went, you the stripper.

1466
00:39:35,706 --> 00:39:38,487
Like she was so disappointed that this,

1467
00:39:38,767 --> 00:39:41,467
five foot seven guy, I am not that tall.

1468
00:39:41,677 --> 00:39:41,887
and.

1469
00:39:42,332 --> 00:39:43,502
People were like, grandma,

1470
00:39:43,932 --> 00:39:45,227
he's the mind reader.

1471
00:39:45,377 --> 00:39:46,667
And I was like, oh, no, no, no.

1472
00:39:46,667 --> 00:39:47,567
I will strip.

1473
00:39:47,567 --> 00:39:48,257
It's just gonna cost

1474
00:39:48,257 --> 00:39:49,997
everyone $20 each to leave.

1475
00:39:51,748 --> 00:39:52,550
and she laughed.

1476
00:39:52,550 --> 00:39:53,813
'cause they just said they

1477
00:39:53,893 --> 00:39:56,293
just didn't think to say to

1478
00:39:56,293 --> 00:39:57,208
grandma that this is to tell

1479
00:39:57,208 --> 00:39:57,328
her

1480
00:39:57,673 --> 00:39:57,913
Yeah.

1481
00:39:57,913 --> 00:39:59,593
To tell her that there was entertainment

1482
00:40:00,103 --> 00:40:02,533
that wasn't, that but still, she

1483
00:40:02,533 --> 00:40:04,603
was still not as disappointed as

1484
00:40:04,603 --> 00:40:05,923
the bachelor parties I've done.

1485
00:40:07,693 --> 00:40:07,723
Oh.

1486
00:40:08,421 --> 00:40:08,953
But they're like, wait,

1487
00:40:08,953 --> 00:40:09,943
what's going on here?

1488
00:40:10,206 --> 00:40:11,425
well, not only that, they've

1489
00:40:11,425 --> 00:40:12,505
worked of course, but there's

1490
00:40:12,505 --> 00:40:14,215
still just that level of.

1491
00:40:14,501 --> 00:40:15,416
With everyone too.

1492
00:40:15,416 --> 00:40:16,316
It doesn't really really

1493
00:40:16,316 --> 00:40:17,186
matter about gender.

1494
00:40:17,186 --> 00:40:19,706
Just of like skepticism and like,

1495
00:40:19,736 --> 00:40:21,296
wait, are we really gonna do this?

1496
00:40:21,296 --> 00:40:23,693
And again, as I've gotten now, I

1497
00:40:23,693 --> 00:40:25,350
can send to my, clients, you know, a

1498
00:40:25,350 --> 00:40:26,820
clip of me performing on the biggest

1499
00:40:26,820 --> 00:40:28,560
stage in Las Vegas and reading Brook

1500
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:30,270
Brooke's poem, and they can just send

1501
00:40:30,270 --> 00:40:31,720
that to their, friends and they go,

1502
00:40:32,018 --> 00:40:33,333
oh yeah, this will probably be good.

1503
00:40:33,333 --> 00:40:35,163
So now I don't have to win them over

1504
00:40:35,163 --> 00:40:36,723
quite as much upfront because of

1505
00:40:36,723 --> 00:40:38,133
all that word has kind of spread.

1506
00:40:38,163 --> 00:40:38,343
Right.

1507
00:40:38,693 --> 00:40:40,391
but yeah, for the most part, like,

1508
00:40:40,611 --> 00:40:42,151
you gotta just, roll with it.

1509
00:40:42,821 --> 00:40:44,153
when grandma asks if you're the

1510
00:40:44,153 --> 00:40:46,043
stripper, and she's clearly disappointed.

1511
00:40:49,283 --> 00:40:51,263
Oh, grandma's, they'll just, they

1512
00:40:51,263 --> 00:40:52,283
just say what's on their mind.

1513
00:40:52,283 --> 00:40:53,886
You just gotta let them, roll with it.

1514
00:40:54,396 --> 00:40:56,494
are you ready to react to this week?

1515
00:40:56,499 --> 00:40:56,799
Oh yes.

1516
00:40:56,859 --> 00:40:58,479
I'm So, here we go.

1517
00:40:59,229 --> 00:40:59,509
Okay.

1518
00:40:59,899 --> 00:41:02,059
So as always, this was submitted

1519
00:41:02,059 --> 00:41:03,859
by one of the followers here,

1520
00:41:03,859 --> 00:41:05,509
so I've not read it yet.

1521
00:41:05,689 --> 00:41:06,589
Feel free to stop me and

1522
00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:07,759
react and we'll just,

1523
00:41:08,176 --> 00:41:08,266
okay.

1524
00:41:08,266 --> 00:41:08,956
See what happens.

1525
00:41:08,956 --> 00:41:10,246
And then at the very end, for

1526
00:41:10,246 --> 00:41:11,206
everyone listening, you're gonna

1527
00:41:11,206 --> 00:41:13,313
do another little mind trick.

1528
00:41:13,313 --> 00:41:13,403
Yes.

1529
00:41:13,576 --> 00:41:14,127
something at the end.

1530
00:41:14,467 --> 00:41:15,007
So, all right.

1531
00:41:15,117 --> 00:41:15,407
Cool.

1532
00:41:15,717 --> 00:41:16,207
Here we go.

1533
00:41:16,925 --> 00:41:18,509
Says, Hey, my fiance's parents

1534
00:41:18,509 --> 00:41:19,739
started out really nice.

1535
00:41:20,002 --> 00:41:21,715
We met in May and were together

1536
00:41:21,715 --> 00:41:23,275
for about four months before

1537
00:41:23,275 --> 00:41:25,225
getting engaged, which I know is

1538
00:41:25,225 --> 00:41:27,152
fast throughout our relationship.

1539
00:41:27,152 --> 00:41:28,772
We saw his parents regularly

1540
00:41:28,772 --> 00:41:30,332
and I truly hope to build a

1541
00:41:30,332 --> 00:41:31,502
good relationship with them.

1542
00:41:31,972 --> 00:41:33,022
As we started planning the

1543
00:41:33,022 --> 00:41:34,522
wedding, the first issue came

1544
00:41:34,522 --> 00:41:36,642
up over the mother-son dance.

1545
00:41:36,802 --> 00:41:38,692
The DJ had suggested shortening

1546
00:41:38,752 --> 00:41:40,609
all the dances, and when that was

1547
00:41:40,609 --> 00:41:42,499
mentioned, his mom was outraged.

1548
00:41:42,770 --> 00:41:43,555
I'm just gonna pause there.

1549
00:41:43,555 --> 00:41:44,935
I feel like that's a very normal thing

1550
00:41:44,935 --> 00:41:46,405
now, to be like, we don't need to dance

1551
00:41:46,465 --> 00:41:48,685
four minutes with every single person.

1552
00:41:48,865 --> 00:41:49,135
I know.

1553
00:41:49,135 --> 00:41:50,185
I shortened my

1554
00:41:50,185 --> 00:41:50,635
mind that.

1555
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:52,501
And, just real quick, the way, I know

1556
00:41:52,501 --> 00:41:53,491
you're reading this for the first time,

1557
00:41:53,710 --> 00:41:55,321
but the way you said it that when you said

1558
00:41:55,577 --> 00:41:57,494
the mother-son dance, I was like, is this

1559
00:41:57,494 --> 00:41:59,294
like a thing where she dances at sundown?

1560
00:41:59,294 --> 00:42:00,706
Like, I was like, oh yeah, mother

1561
00:42:00,706 --> 00:42:02,616
and son d ance, I thought was Mother

1562
00:42:02,616 --> 00:42:02,736
and

1563
00:42:03,246 --> 00:42:03,706
son dance.

1564
00:42:04,556 --> 00:42:06,041
She, the person wrote

1565
00:42:06,041 --> 00:42:07,551
it as like, mother, son.

1566
00:42:07,551 --> 00:42:09,121
So I was like, mother-son dance.

1567
00:42:09,141 --> 00:42:09,531
Oh, yeah,

1568
00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:10,551
yeah, yeah.

1569
00:42:10,551 --> 00:42:11,661
So there was a moment because I've

1570
00:42:11,661 --> 00:42:13,744
been to, I actually have, hosted a

1571
00:42:13,744 --> 00:42:15,671
couple of, for lack of a better term,

1572
00:42:15,701 --> 00:42:18,241
pagan, ceremonies, non-traditional

1573
00:42:18,241 --> 00:42:19,831
ceremonies, practicing witches,

1574
00:42:19,831 --> 00:42:21,794
practicing mystics, and such.

1575
00:42:21,934 --> 00:42:23,584
I've heard the Heka type blessing instead

1576
00:42:23,584 --> 00:42:25,204
of, you know, the prayer and all that.

1577
00:42:25,407 --> 00:42:26,967
so I was immediately going like,

1578
00:42:26,997 --> 00:42:28,677
okay, but what's a son dance like,

1579
00:42:28,677 --> 00:42:30,387
is there a ance and a moon dance?

1580
00:42:30,387 --> 00:42:30,477
Yeah.

1581
00:42:30,477 --> 00:42:30,957
What are we doing?

1582
00:42:31,377 --> 00:42:33,417
Yeah, it's a sun, it's sundown.

1583
00:42:33,417 --> 00:42:33,717
Right?

1584
00:42:33,717 --> 00:42:34,437
We're not getting married

1585
00:42:34,437 --> 00:42:35,367
at like five in the morning.

1586
00:42:35,457 --> 00:42:35,877
Right.

1587
00:42:35,882 --> 00:42:35,982
Right.

1588
00:42:36,327 --> 00:42:36,897
What's happening?

1589
00:42:36,957 --> 00:42:39,843
Uh, okay, so, the mother-and-son dance.

1590
00:42:39,843 --> 00:42:40,113
Okay.

1591
00:42:40,113 --> 00:42:40,668
So yes.

1592
00:42:40,668 --> 00:42:40,988
Didn't

1593
00:42:40,988 --> 00:42:41,913
wanna show that so far.

1594
00:42:42,470 --> 00:42:44,416
people, the DJ has suggested,

1595
00:42:44,685 --> 00:42:45,976
hey, the songs you've picked,

1596
00:42:45,976 --> 00:42:47,176
they're all like four minutes each.

1597
00:42:47,508 --> 00:42:48,976
That's like, that's a long time

1598
00:42:48,976 --> 00:42:50,703
with transitions in between.

1599
00:42:50,973 --> 00:42:52,173
We're talking, that's easily

1600
00:42:52,173 --> 00:42:54,500
gonna be a 20 minute h where we

1601
00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:56,750
all just watch two people dance

1602
00:42:56,970 --> 00:42:58,200
if we're gonna do the full songs.

1603
00:42:58,230 --> 00:42:58,440
Yeah.

1604
00:42:58,440 --> 00:42:59,460
And you gotta think for like,

1605
00:42:59,460 --> 00:43:01,260
people watching, that's boring.

1606
00:43:01,485 --> 00:43:01,575
No's

1607
00:43:01,946 --> 00:43:03,555
not, yeah, we don't have to do ones yet.

1608
00:43:03,876 --> 00:43:05,486
you get those songs in half, that's

1609
00:43:05,486 --> 00:43:08,006
down to like eight to 10 minutes tops.

1610
00:43:08,276 --> 00:43:08,396
Yeah.

1611
00:43:08,396 --> 00:43:10,346
If there's technical issues or whatever.

1612
00:43:10,596 --> 00:43:13,536
And yeah, that I think is the sweet spot.

1613
00:43:13,723 --> 00:43:15,763
yeah, I'm pretty sure we shortened

1614
00:43:15,763 --> 00:43:17,503
all hours to like a minute and a half

1615
00:43:17,503 --> 00:43:19,076
because like then people get to see it.

1616
00:43:19,233 --> 00:43:20,156
That's enough dancing.

1617
00:43:20,156 --> 00:43:21,116
Also, people after

1618
00:43:21,121 --> 00:43:21,671
their first time

1619
00:43:21,671 --> 00:43:22,471
dancing after

1620
00:43:22,526 --> 00:43:23,853
I promise we'll still do the

1621
00:43:23,853 --> 00:43:24,723
interactive thing at the end.

1622
00:43:24,723 --> 00:43:26,533
However, after this, I'll tell you

1623
00:43:26,533 --> 00:43:28,633
the story of our wedding because it's

1624
00:43:28,633 --> 00:43:30,463
like Geneva related and there's a

1625
00:43:30,463 --> 00:43:31,903
fun kind of story with it as well.

1626
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:32,310
Oh, cool.

1627
00:43:32,550 --> 00:43:32,730
Okay.

1628
00:43:32,850 --> 00:43:33,780
Kind of tease that as well.

1629
00:43:34,153 --> 00:43:36,523
now just to be clear, does she only want

1630
00:43:36,643 --> 00:43:40,033
the mother son dance not shortened or

1631
00:43:40,033 --> 00:43:41,803
does she want all of them not shortened?

1632
00:43:42,156 --> 00:43:42,383
Or is

1633
00:43:42,383 --> 00:43:44,753
that I'm, I'm guessing it's more

1634
00:43:44,753 --> 00:43:46,493
about her dance with her son.

1635
00:43:46,643 --> 00:43:47,123
Okay.

1636
00:43:47,123 --> 00:43:47,993
Like 20 seconds.

1637
00:43:49,388 --> 00:43:50,888
She's like taking offense to it.

1638
00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:52,298
That's not the craziest

1639
00:43:52,298 --> 00:43:54,135
thing, you know, okay.

1640
00:43:54,278 --> 00:43:55,658
and it depends on what the song is too.

1641
00:43:55,913 --> 00:43:56,708
Like there's some songs you

1642
00:43:56,708 --> 00:43:58,035
just don't cut off in the

1643
00:43:58,035 --> 00:43:58,185
middle.

1644
00:43:58,185 --> 00:43:58,575
Don't cut.

1645
00:43:59,036 --> 00:44:00,386
especially if it's the mom.

1646
00:44:00,776 --> 00:44:01,286
Okay.

1647
00:44:01,643 --> 00:44:02,116
Continue.

1648
00:44:02,176 --> 00:44:02,536
All right.

1649
00:44:02,850 --> 00:44:03,056
All right.

1650
00:44:03,056 --> 00:44:03,386
Let's see.

1651
00:44:03,726 --> 00:44:05,500
She said, we ended up sitting down to

1652
00:44:05,500 --> 00:44:07,720
talk about it because she was upset for

1653
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:10,753
me even bringing it up, even though I just

1654
00:44:10,753 --> 00:44:13,260
repeated what the DJ had recommended and

1655
00:44:13,260 --> 00:44:14,820
didn't think it would be such a big deal

1656
00:44:15,110 --> 00:44:16,963
after that, things calmed down a bit.

1657
00:44:17,053 --> 00:44:17,893
But that dynamic

1658
00:44:17,893 --> 00:44:19,363
definitely felt different.

1659
00:44:19,553 --> 00:44:21,156
I tried to move on and understand

1660
00:44:21,156 --> 00:44:23,066
her perspective, especially since

1661
00:44:23,066 --> 00:44:25,490
she openly favors my fiance and

1662
00:44:25,490 --> 00:44:27,740
likely feels like she's losing him.

1663
00:44:28,056 --> 00:44:29,063
Recently though.

1664
00:44:29,183 --> 00:44:29,813
Everything

1665
00:44:30,533 --> 00:44:30,953
I, pause again.

1666
00:44:30,953 --> 00:44:30,973
Pause again.

1667
00:44:31,173 --> 00:44:32,433
okay, so it's the mother, son

1668
00:44:32,433 --> 00:44:35,163
dance, so this is a likely.

1669
00:44:35,456 --> 00:44:37,015
We can assume bride, not

1670
00:44:37,015 --> 00:44:38,425
another husband, a bride that

1671
00:44:38,425 --> 00:44:39,025
wrote it in.

1672
00:44:39,025 --> 00:44:39,505
Yeah.

1673
00:44:39,715 --> 00:44:39,865
Okay.

1674
00:44:40,205 --> 00:44:40,958
and it's, the son.

1675
00:44:41,205 --> 00:44:42,718
Has, she said if the son is like

1676
00:44:42,718 --> 00:44:45,448
only child, oldest, youngest,

1677
00:44:45,448 --> 00:44:47,778
no, she hasn't said yet, but I feel

1678
00:44:47,778 --> 00:44:50,508
like when she says openly favors, I

1679
00:44:50,508 --> 00:44:52,248
either wondering if she, he has another

1680
00:44:52,248 --> 00:44:54,581
sibling and like, he's like the golden

1681
00:44:54,821 --> 00:44:55,061
child.

1682
00:44:55,481 --> 00:44:57,840
I mean, if you are, marrying

1683
00:44:57,840 --> 00:44:58,980
into the family Yeah.

1684
00:44:59,063 --> 00:45:01,433
your partner is gonna be more

1685
00:45:01,433 --> 00:45:03,966
favored by the people who gave

1686
00:45:03,966 --> 00:45:05,676
birth to and raised them and know

1687
00:45:05,676 --> 00:45:07,626
like of course that, so, okay.

1688
00:45:07,686 --> 00:45:08,046
Yeah.

1689
00:45:08,106 --> 00:45:09,276
That's why I feel like she means you might

1690
00:45:09,276 --> 00:45:10,806
be reading a little too much into it

1691
00:45:10,806 --> 00:45:12,216
here, but We'll, see where it goes.

1692
00:45:12,336 --> 00:45:12,576
Okay.

1693
00:45:12,636 --> 00:45:13,026
Yeah.

1694
00:45:13,445 --> 00:45:14,828
She had a complete meltdown

1695
00:45:14,918 --> 00:45:16,958
and called him blaming me for

1696
00:45:16,958 --> 00:45:18,848
almost everything under the sun.

1697
00:45:19,115 --> 00:45:20,765
She accused me of initially

1698
00:45:20,765 --> 00:45:22,685
excluding her family from our wedding

1699
00:45:22,685 --> 00:45:24,785
planning the wedding day itself.

1700
00:45:25,078 --> 00:45:26,331
There's a lot more to that,

1701
00:45:26,519 --> 00:45:27,501
but that's the summary.

1702
00:45:27,829 --> 00:45:29,545
So my fiance and I sat down with

1703
00:45:29,545 --> 00:45:32,005
both of his parents and he explained

1704
00:45:32,035 --> 00:45:34,165
that none of that was my doing, and

1705
00:45:34,165 --> 00:45:35,935
that if anyone felt excluded, it was

1706
00:45:35,935 --> 00:45:37,975
because of decisions he had made.

1707
00:45:38,339 --> 00:45:41,805
That conversation lasted for four hours.

1708
00:45:42,249 --> 00:45:42,988
Oh my gosh.

1709
00:45:43,306 --> 00:45:44,901
So I feel like this all stems from the

1710
00:45:44,901 --> 00:45:46,415
fact that she feels like she's losing her

1711
00:45:46,415 --> 00:45:48,615
son and that she's gonna try to make it

1712
00:45:48,885 --> 00:45:52,275
more about her day and want it her way.

1713
00:45:52,805 --> 00:45:53,135
Yeah.

1714
00:45:53,712 --> 00:45:57,142
so first off, kudos to husband, partner,

1715
00:45:57,142 --> 00:45:59,575
fiance for taking charge for, yeah.

1716
00:45:59,575 --> 00:46:00,355
Like, this is me.

1717
00:46:00,385 --> 00:46:02,365
Hey, hey, hey, mom.

1718
00:46:02,650 --> 00:46:04,362
Listen, take the brunt of it.

1719
00:46:04,362 --> 00:46:06,102
Sit down and talk for the four hours.

1720
00:46:06,185 --> 00:46:06,575
so far.

1721
00:46:06,575 --> 00:46:07,985
Green flags for the fiance.

1722
00:46:07,985 --> 00:46:08,255
Yes.

1723
00:46:08,255 --> 00:46:09,545
Do get through whatever

1724
00:46:09,545 --> 00:46:11,119
hell you have to marry them.

1725
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:11,569
Yes.

1726
00:46:11,569 --> 00:46:12,952
Uh, so far he's worth it.

1727
00:46:13,412 --> 00:46:15,231
and it sounds like the issue

1728
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:17,371
is gonna be mostly between him

1729
00:46:17,371 --> 00:46:18,661
and the mom now, but we'll see.

1730
00:46:19,087 --> 00:46:21,337
another issue came up about us not

1731
00:46:21,337 --> 00:46:22,687
inviting children to the wedding.

1732
00:46:23,064 --> 00:46:24,007
She was furious.

1733
00:46:24,517 --> 00:46:24,847
Pause, right.

1734
00:46:24,847 --> 00:46:24,997
Pause right there.

1735
00:46:24,997 --> 00:46:26,257
Nope, nope, nope, nope.

1736
00:46:26,257 --> 00:46:27,667
Mom lost all credibility.

1737
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,527
I 1000% agree.

1738
00:46:29,777 --> 00:46:31,964
Children should not, if you are going

1739
00:46:31,964 --> 00:46:34,974
to have an open bar, I will even argue,

1740
00:46:35,214 --> 00:46:39,354
not the party, not even the ceremony

1741
00:46:39,921 --> 00:46:41,084
you saying at any wedding.

1742
00:46:41,514 --> 00:46:45,207
I'm saying across 99%

1743
00:46:45,447 --> 00:46:48,531
of all across the board.

1744
00:46:48,686 --> 00:46:48,841
Wow.

1745
00:46:49,191 --> 00:46:49,281
Wow.

1746
00:46:49,281 --> 00:46:50,481
That is a hot take.

1747
00:46:50,791 --> 00:46:54,034
here's a couple issues with kids.

1748
00:46:54,124 --> 00:46:55,174
It's actually not the

1749
00:46:55,174 --> 00:46:56,179
kids, it's the parents.

1750
00:46:56,359 --> 00:46:57,124
The parents.

1751
00:46:57,394 --> 00:46:58,414
It's the parents.

1752
00:46:58,974 --> 00:47:00,962
And, it, it just becomes

1753
00:47:00,972 --> 00:47:02,147
about the kid now.

1754
00:47:02,927 --> 00:47:03,227
Mm-hmm.

1755
00:47:03,467 --> 00:47:04,937
Like, I understand.

1756
00:47:05,417 --> 00:47:07,907
yes, we might not all have a teen or

1757
00:47:07,907 --> 00:47:10,907
preteen flower girl or ring bearer.

1758
00:47:11,101 --> 00:47:12,754
They may only be three or four.

1759
00:47:13,041 --> 00:47:13,997
And yeah, it's cute for like

1760
00:47:14,047 --> 00:47:15,541
the three second clip of them

1761
00:47:15,541 --> 00:47:16,921
like walking down the aisle.

1762
00:47:17,207 --> 00:47:19,854
But like, you know, then you're

1763
00:47:19,884 --> 00:47:21,652
paying for the, cake and all that.

1764
00:47:21,682 --> 00:47:22,762
'cause here's the other thing too, I

1765
00:47:22,762 --> 00:47:24,596
will argue nine times outta 10, if there

1766
00:47:24,596 --> 00:47:27,356
are kids at a wedding slash wedding

1767
00:47:27,356 --> 00:47:29,726
adjacent type event, any entertainer,

1768
00:47:29,726 --> 00:47:33,609
they book dj, comedian, moderator.

1769
00:47:33,789 --> 00:47:35,109
I'm saying this 'cause this has happened.

1770
00:47:35,394 --> 00:47:35,709
Yeah.

1771
00:47:36,054 --> 00:47:37,092
All the parents think,

1772
00:47:37,092 --> 00:47:38,472
oh, that's the babysitter.

1773
00:47:38,817 --> 00:47:40,784
That's now in a separate room.

1774
00:47:40,974 --> 00:47:42,027
And this is problematic

1775
00:47:42,087 --> 00:47:43,297
for, the entertainer.

1776
00:47:43,327 --> 00:47:44,557
'cause it's like, wait, I'm alone

1777
00:47:44,557 --> 00:47:45,997
in a room with everyone's kids.

1778
00:47:46,207 --> 00:47:47,987
That's not how everyone else is drinking.

1779
00:47:48,321 --> 00:47:49,337
That's not good.

1780
00:47:49,637 --> 00:47:50,302
No, no, no.

1781
00:47:50,357 --> 00:47:52,007
Oh, that's not a good position.

1782
00:47:52,107 --> 00:47:52,917
I wanna be in.

1783
00:47:52,917 --> 00:47:52,977
Yeah.

1784
00:47:53,504 --> 00:47:55,124
so it's one thing if you

1785
00:47:55,124 --> 00:47:56,694
wanna hire childcare.

1786
00:47:56,724 --> 00:47:57,207
Mm-hmm.

1787
00:47:57,207 --> 00:48:00,554
which I think if there are any levels

1788
00:48:00,584 --> 00:48:03,734
of kids there, whoever wants them,

1789
00:48:03,794 --> 00:48:08,534
has to give into to any kind of

1790
00:48:08,834 --> 00:48:11,767
childcare, nannying, whatever daycare,

1791
00:48:11,959 --> 00:48:13,637
because this exists, this happens.

1792
00:48:13,809 --> 00:48:14,927
They have 'em for company

1793
00:48:14,927 --> 00:48:16,687
events for, single parents.

1794
00:48:16,687 --> 00:48:18,364
So like the parents can still,

1795
00:48:18,364 --> 00:48:19,444
you know, attend the event.

1796
00:48:19,444 --> 00:48:21,034
And it's at conference centers,

1797
00:48:21,034 --> 00:48:22,614
it's at wedding venues.

1798
00:48:22,817 --> 00:48:23,687
they have caterers.

1799
00:48:23,687 --> 00:48:25,999
They have someone, who's professional,

1800
00:48:26,119 --> 00:48:27,716
vetted to watch kids too.

1801
00:48:27,716 --> 00:48:27,806
Mm-hmm.

1802
00:48:28,032 --> 00:48:29,894
So if you're gonna go that far.

1803
00:48:30,597 --> 00:48:31,977
Especially if they're gonna make the

1804
00:48:31,977 --> 00:48:33,297
argument of, oh, it's only two or three.

1805
00:48:33,627 --> 00:48:34,227
It's only two or three.

1806
00:48:34,582 --> 00:48:37,116
then okay, then you contribute for that.

1807
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:38,532
if it's that important to you.

1808
00:48:38,844 --> 00:48:42,252
I don't think any kid has outweighed

1809
00:48:42,594 --> 00:48:45,372
the adorableness factor for

1810
00:48:45,726 --> 00:48:47,136
how much of a pain it's been

1811
00:48:47,136 --> 00:48:47,976
for the rest of the day.

1812
00:48:48,392 --> 00:48:49,747
there's a saying in show business

1813
00:48:49,747 --> 00:48:52,987
don't work with kids or animals like,

1814
00:48:53,227 --> 00:48:54,907
and in TV there's a reason every

1815
00:48:54,907 --> 00:48:57,577
baby and every TV show is twins.

1816
00:48:58,387 --> 00:48:58,777
Yeah.

1817
00:48:58,987 --> 00:49:00,367
Like, because when one's cranky,

1818
00:49:00,367 --> 00:49:01,844
hopefully the other isn't that's

1819
00:49:01,844 --> 00:49:03,314
why there was Mary Kate and Olson.

1820
00:49:03,454 --> 00:49:05,284
that's why every baby and

1821
00:49:05,284 --> 00:49:07,084
every show and movie is almost

1822
00:49:07,084 --> 00:49:08,794
always a set of twins, right.

1823
00:49:08,794 --> 00:49:10,144
For that exact reason.

1824
00:49:10,204 --> 00:49:13,054
Because getting that on camera and

1825
00:49:13,329 --> 00:49:16,804
all this stuff is next to impossible.

1826
00:49:17,042 --> 00:49:17,517
Yeah.

1827
00:49:17,867 --> 00:49:19,437
and my thing is too, it's like when

1828
00:49:19,437 --> 00:49:20,930
people get offended over like their

1829
00:49:20,930 --> 00:49:22,513
kids not being invited, I've said

1830
00:49:22,513 --> 00:49:24,133
this before, I have a toddler, like

1831
00:49:24,133 --> 00:49:25,603
she's gonna be three this year.

1832
00:49:25,603 --> 00:49:27,633
And I'm like, I would not be offended

1833
00:49:27,663 --> 00:49:28,813
'cause I get it and sometimes my

1834
00:49:28,813 --> 00:49:29,713
husband and I just wanna night out

1835
00:49:29,713 --> 00:49:31,483
without her and she probably wouldn't

1836
00:49:31,483 --> 00:49:32,323
have that much fun at a wedding.

1837
00:49:32,323 --> 00:49:33,163
She maybe have fun for a

1838
00:49:33,163 --> 00:49:34,363
little bit dancing, but

1839
00:49:34,683 --> 00:49:34,933
Yeah,

1840
00:49:34,933 --> 00:49:36,253
if she's not invited, I'm not gonna be

1841
00:49:36,253 --> 00:49:38,053
like, oh my gosh, they hate children.

1842
00:49:38,053 --> 00:49:39,553
I'm like, I would never think that.

1843
00:49:39,553 --> 00:49:41,663
I'd be like, I get it, I get it.

1844
00:49:41,663 --> 00:49:43,513
You have a kids touching everything and

1845
00:49:43,820 --> 00:49:45,637
I think if there's any kind

1846
00:49:45,637 --> 00:49:48,217
of bar, no kids, vice versa.

1847
00:49:48,502 --> 00:49:49,800
cash or otherwise, like,

1848
00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:51,457
all, that just does not mix.

1849
00:49:51,547 --> 00:49:52,777
It just does not mix.

1850
00:49:52,777 --> 00:49:55,657
I've almost never seen it pay off

1851
00:49:55,893 --> 00:49:57,277
if the kids are a little older.

1852
00:49:57,277 --> 00:49:58,987
If there's like a very hard and fast,

1853
00:49:58,987 --> 00:50:01,837
like 13 and over because of certain

1854
00:50:01,837 --> 00:50:03,457
cousins ages and stuff like that.

1855
00:50:03,457 --> 00:50:04,087
I understand.

1856
00:50:04,177 --> 00:50:04,237
Yeah.

1857
00:50:04,490 --> 00:50:05,377
Everything's a case by

1858
00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:06,517
case basis of course.

1859
00:50:06,547 --> 00:50:07,267
Oh, for sure.

1860
00:50:07,570 --> 00:50:09,637
I think, you know, if the kids like in

1861
00:50:09,637 --> 00:50:11,827
your family are gonna be okay or not,

1862
00:50:11,827 --> 00:50:12,937
and if the bride and groomer are saying

1863
00:50:12,937 --> 00:50:14,690
no, they're probably like, eh, I think

1864
00:50:14,690 --> 00:50:15,860
the ones we know are not gonna be,

1865
00:50:16,610 --> 00:50:17,120
here's the next part,

1866
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:17,160
here's the next part.

1867
00:50:17,180 --> 00:50:18,165
This is the mom, right?

1868
00:50:18,595 --> 00:50:18,770
Yeah.

1869
00:50:18,935 --> 00:50:19,155
The

1870
00:50:19,155 --> 00:50:20,870
mom definitely doesn't have little kids.

1871
00:50:20,990 --> 00:50:23,430
I mean, it could happen maybe their

1872
00:50:23,430 --> 00:50:26,190
early twenties and they have a 18

1873
00:50:26,190 --> 00:50:28,830
year gap between him and his younger

1874
00:50:29,152 --> 00:50:30,630
8-year-old sister or something.

1875
00:50:30,630 --> 00:50:32,713
Maybe, but especially for the mom

1876
00:50:32,713 --> 00:50:34,573
who likely doesn't have her own kids.

1877
00:50:35,085 --> 00:50:37,623
or I don't know, day before the wedding

1878
00:50:37,623 --> 00:50:41,022
shower, do like fun, wedding tea

1879
00:50:41,052 --> 00:50:43,272
thing with all the kids or something.

1880
00:50:43,272 --> 00:50:45,062
Have them dress up and do that at

1881
00:50:45,062 --> 00:50:47,298
noon, the Saturday before or something.

1882
00:50:47,642 --> 00:50:48,978
But immediately, as soon

1883
00:50:48,978 --> 00:50:50,532
as someone is like, Nope.

1884
00:50:50,772 --> 00:50:52,435
I'm like, mm mm And it

1885
00:50:52,435 --> 00:50:53,485
does drastically depend.

1886
00:50:53,638 --> 00:50:54,778
I've done a lot of house parties where

1887
00:50:54,778 --> 00:50:56,902
there are a few younger kids or a good

1888
00:50:56,902 --> 00:50:58,972
number of younger kids, and nor nine times

1889
00:50:58,972 --> 00:51:01,582
outta 10 when it's that kind of dynamic.

1890
00:51:02,002 --> 00:51:03,112
They often want to be

1891
00:51:03,112 --> 00:51:04,132
kind of little grownups.

1892
00:51:04,132 --> 00:51:06,122
They want to be, sit tight for the

1893
00:51:06,122 --> 00:51:08,162
show, they'll kind of, which is also

1894
00:51:08,162 --> 00:51:09,572
why go on a little later so that way,

1895
00:51:09,775 --> 00:51:11,545
they've run out of steam and everything.

1896
00:51:11,665 --> 00:51:11,755
Yeah.

1897
00:51:11,755 --> 00:51:12,685
And I have all things that

1898
00:51:12,685 --> 00:51:13,795
they can for sure help with.

1899
00:51:13,795 --> 00:51:15,565
I always carry one thing with me

1900
00:51:15,565 --> 00:51:18,125
specifically for kids that I can do.

1901
00:51:18,337 --> 00:51:18,757
Yeah.

1902
00:51:18,977 --> 00:51:20,561
but I also let the.

1903
00:51:21,011 --> 00:51:22,241
Host and everyone know that.

1904
00:51:22,271 --> 00:51:23,081
'cause that also means

1905
00:51:23,365 --> 00:51:24,491
I am not the babysitter.

1906
00:51:24,491 --> 00:51:27,425
I have one thing specifically for them.

1907
00:51:27,785 --> 00:51:29,075
The show isn't offensive.

1908
00:51:29,075 --> 00:51:30,545
The show is clean and everything, but

1909
00:51:30,545 --> 00:51:32,555
it's not, it's geared for intelligent

1910
00:51:32,555 --> 00:51:35,265
grownups, just like a bar, you know?

1911
00:51:35,265 --> 00:51:35,355
Yes.

1912
00:51:35,775 --> 00:51:37,298
There's nothing offensive for the

1913
00:51:37,298 --> 00:51:39,488
most part, for 99% of the population

1914
00:51:39,793 --> 00:51:41,468
of just like the presence of a bar.

1915
00:51:41,778 --> 00:51:42,308
yeah,

1916
00:51:42,398 --> 00:51:43,358
mom is upset.

1917
00:51:43,688 --> 00:51:44,948
So, okay.

1918
00:51:44,948 --> 00:51:47,518
So there's no kids and she doesn't, she

1919
00:51:47,518 --> 00:51:48,778
likely doesn't even have kids of her own.

1920
00:51:48,898 --> 00:51:49,228
Okay.

1921
00:51:49,258 --> 00:51:49,528
Right.

1922
00:51:49,978 --> 00:51:52,078
So she says she was furious

1923
00:51:52,078 --> 00:51:53,608
that we wouldn't invite his

1924
00:51:53,895 --> 00:51:56,158
second cousin's daughter.

1925
00:51:56,568 --> 00:51:58,878
So we're talking distant, like,

1926
00:51:59,181 --> 00:52:00,141
I don't even know if I invited

1927
00:52:00,141 --> 00:52:01,006
any of my second cousins.

1928
00:52:01,791 --> 00:52:04,430
Second cousins former roommate.

1929
00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:05,540
Yeah.

1930
00:52:05,865 --> 00:52:06,800
That's ridiculous.

1931
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:07,220
'cause like

1932
00:52:07,310 --> 00:52:08,930
that make us absolutely nothing.

1933
00:52:09,470 --> 00:52:09,800
Right.

1934
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,780
I'm like, I invited all my niece and

1935
00:52:11,780 --> 00:52:13,370
nephews, so we had five and they were

1936
00:52:13,370 --> 00:52:14,720
super well behaved, but I also knew

1937
00:52:14,720 --> 00:52:16,550
like their parents were more hands-on.

1938
00:52:16,726 --> 00:52:18,113
but yeah, it's, definitely case by case.

1939
00:52:18,113 --> 00:52:20,816
Again, you know, your own family

1940
00:52:20,816 --> 00:52:22,286
and like, 'cause I've heard stories

1941
00:52:22,286 --> 00:52:24,073
where people are like, my niece is so

1942
00:52:24,133 --> 00:52:25,903
misbehaved, her parents don't watch her.

1943
00:52:25,903 --> 00:52:27,863
She will throw things, she'll push things

1944
00:52:27,863 --> 00:52:30,013
on the floor that's where it's like bride

1945
00:52:30,013 --> 00:52:31,693
and groom or the couple getting married.

1946
00:52:31,693 --> 00:52:32,683
It's their choice.

1947
00:52:32,683 --> 00:52:35,063
Don't beg to bring your child, just

1948
00:52:35,063 --> 00:52:35,993
let them make their own decision.

1949
00:52:37,046 --> 00:52:38,346
she originally told us that

1950
00:52:38,346 --> 00:52:39,846
the cousin wouldn't come unless

1951
00:52:39,846 --> 00:52:40,686
their child could attend.

1952
00:52:40,716 --> 00:52:40,986
Okay.

1953
00:52:40,986 --> 00:52:41,766
Lynn, she can't come.

1954
00:52:41,861 --> 00:52:42,060
Yeah.

1955
00:52:42,156 --> 00:52:42,246
Okay.

1956
00:52:42,946 --> 00:52:44,703
and that his cousin was the only

1957
00:52:44,703 --> 00:52:46,743
extended family member planning to come.

1958
00:52:47,230 --> 00:52:48,520
when we asked for the cousin's phone

1959
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:49,840
number so we could talk to them

1960
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:52,390
directly, she suddenly admitted she

1961
00:52:52,390 --> 00:52:55,750
already told them yes on our behalf.

1962
00:52:56,066 --> 00:52:57,043
And there was actually no.

1963
00:52:57,193 --> 00:52:58,273
Oh, so mom's busted.

1964
00:52:58,273 --> 00:52:58,633
Now.

1965
00:52:58,693 --> 00:52:59,623
Mom, oh my god.

1966
00:52:59,828 --> 00:53:00,048
Mom.

1967
00:53:01,393 --> 00:53:02,923
Mom is straight busted.

1968
00:53:03,343 --> 00:53:04,268
Oh no.

1969
00:53:04,688 --> 00:53:05,920
Oh no.

1970
00:53:06,435 --> 00:53:06,655
Oh.

1971
00:53:06,670 --> 00:53:08,170
And then she lied and said there

1972
00:53:08,170 --> 00:53:09,460
was actually no issue with them

1973
00:53:09,460 --> 00:53:10,930
intending without their children.

1974
00:53:11,320 --> 00:53:13,040
She still claimed I was purposely

1975
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:14,390
excluding her family and made

1976
00:53:14,390 --> 00:53:16,190
several hurtful assumptions about me.

1977
00:53:16,446 --> 00:53:17,150
So it sounds like the

1978
00:53:17,150 --> 00:53:19,195
mom is just like mad.

1979
00:53:19,195 --> 00:53:20,350
The fact that like maybe they don't have

1980
00:53:20,350 --> 00:53:21,730
a lot of close family, so she's like,

1981
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:23,500
we have to have the second cousin there

1982
00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:25,300
because they're gonna have more people

1983
00:53:25,530 --> 00:53:27,250
so that she has to come with her child.

1984
00:53:27,250 --> 00:53:27,730
And it's like,

1985
00:53:28,030 --> 00:53:28,690
yeah,

1986
00:53:28,750 --> 00:53:29,590
not your choice.

1987
00:53:29,595 --> 00:53:30,263
That's the other thing too.

1988
00:53:30,413 --> 00:53:31,403
Everything's case by case.

1989
00:53:31,403 --> 00:53:34,540
If you have a ton of seven to 12

1990
00:53:34,540 --> 00:53:36,936
year olds, like they can all kind of.

1991
00:53:37,286 --> 00:53:39,726
Watch each other, you slip the 15-year-old

1992
00:53:39,726 --> 00:53:41,886
an extra, 50 bucks or a hundred dollars

1993
00:53:41,916 --> 00:53:44,256
bill a hey keep an extra eye on them,

1994
00:53:44,416 --> 00:53:46,740
until six o'clock when their parents

1995
00:53:46,740 --> 00:53:47,850
are gonna take them home or something.

1996
00:53:48,050 --> 00:53:49,190
realize that there's a

1997
00:53:49,190 --> 00:53:50,420
whole other level of plan.

1998
00:53:50,450 --> 00:53:51,320
You can't just say, yeah,

1999
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:52,370
we're, yeah, kids are allowed.

2000
00:53:52,610 --> 00:53:53,240
There has to be a whole

2001
00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:54,860
other level of planning.

2002
00:53:54,860 --> 00:53:56,540
There has to be a hard out time.

2003
00:53:56,718 --> 00:53:58,700
There's just more questions and

2004
00:53:58,700 --> 00:54:01,918
more things to prepare and plan that

2005
00:54:01,918 --> 00:54:03,778
have nothing to do with you on a day

2006
00:54:03,778 --> 00:54:04,768
that's supposed to all about you.

2007
00:54:04,858 --> 00:54:06,711
So, I would, especially if it's

2008
00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:08,751
just one, then especially no.

2009
00:54:08,871 --> 00:54:10,666
Like, no, no, no, no.

2010
00:54:10,671 --> 00:54:11,001
Yeah.

2011
00:54:11,513 --> 00:54:13,305
When my fiance tried to explain, we

2012
00:54:13,305 --> 00:54:15,015
were just trying to sort everything out.

2013
00:54:15,015 --> 00:54:16,575
She threatened not to come to the

2014
00:54:16,575 --> 00:54:18,068
wedding and said the rest of his

2015
00:54:18,068 --> 00:54:19,811
family wouldn't come either if

2016
00:54:19,811 --> 00:54:21,821
the 13-year-old wasn't invited.

2017
00:54:22,271 --> 00:54:22,866
Oh, so she's 13.

2018
00:54:22,866 --> 00:54:24,101
Oh, it's a 13-year-old.

2019
00:54:24,101 --> 00:54:25,091
13-year-old.

2020
00:54:25,506 --> 00:54:26,905
And I'm like at that age they

2021
00:54:26,905 --> 00:54:28,285
probably, I mean it depends, but

2022
00:54:28,285 --> 00:54:29,455
they probably don't even wanna come.

2023
00:54:29,666 --> 00:54:30,581
Depends on how the close they

2024
00:54:30,581 --> 00:54:33,328
are, but my second cousin's kids.

2025
00:54:33,328 --> 00:54:34,708
I'm like, I didn't invite any of

2026
00:54:34,708 --> 00:54:36,268
my second cousins to my wedding.

2027
00:54:36,778 --> 00:54:37,648
Trying to think.

2028
00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:39,883
again, I'm gonna go this kind

2029
00:54:39,883 --> 00:54:42,013
of direction just briefly.

2030
00:54:42,303 --> 00:54:44,259
I can see maybe.

2031
00:54:44,936 --> 00:54:48,626
If like the mom, so my late mother

2032
00:54:48,626 --> 00:54:52,449
was actually my cousin's nanny for the

2033
00:54:52,539 --> 00:54:55,119
first, like six, seven years of his life.

2034
00:54:55,493 --> 00:54:56,543
they called her Auntie Trudy,

2035
00:54:56,543 --> 00:54:58,073
but she like worked for my aunt,

2036
00:54:58,073 --> 00:54:59,363
her sister-in-law as his nanny.

2037
00:54:59,703 --> 00:55:02,133
and she's not a blood relative to my

2038
00:55:02,133 --> 00:55:03,536
cousin Bobby, who was the one being

2039
00:55:03,536 --> 00:55:06,213
nannied, but like, if he was being

2040
00:55:06,213 --> 00:55:08,326
invited somewhere or if he was, like,

2041
00:55:08,326 --> 00:55:09,886
she was invited to his graduation

2042
00:55:10,013 --> 00:55:11,333
he's not married, but if he ever

2043
00:55:11,333 --> 00:55:13,389
did get married, I'd assume Yeah.

2044
00:55:13,419 --> 00:55:15,596
She'd be invited because she's

2045
00:55:15,596 --> 00:55:16,946
not just his aunt, but she also,

2046
00:55:17,046 --> 00:55:18,456
took care of him for a long time.

2047
00:55:18,833 --> 00:55:19,913
if the mom had some kind of

2048
00:55:19,913 --> 00:55:22,463
relationship like that, maybe if

2049
00:55:22,463 --> 00:55:24,749
there was some, but like none of that.

2050
00:55:24,749 --> 00:55:25,949
And then on top of it, like.

2051
00:55:26,286 --> 00:55:27,159
The mom wanted drama.

2052
00:55:27,529 --> 00:55:27,796
Yeah.

2053
00:55:27,976 --> 00:55:28,516
Mom wanted drama.

2054
00:55:28,551 --> 00:55:29,361
She's already upset

2055
00:55:29,361 --> 00:55:29,661
about

2056
00:55:29,661 --> 00:55:29,871
something.

2057
00:55:29,871 --> 00:55:30,771
Because here's the thing too,

2058
00:55:30,969 --> 00:55:32,091
you could get away with a

2059
00:55:32,091 --> 00:55:33,711
13-year-old not being a kid.

2060
00:55:34,056 --> 00:55:34,468
Mm-hmm.

2061
00:55:34,581 --> 00:55:35,661
That could have just completely

2062
00:55:35,661 --> 00:55:37,491
flown under the radar the whole day.

2063
00:55:37,818 --> 00:55:38,958
not a problem.

2064
00:55:39,288 --> 00:55:40,098
Oh, no kids.

2065
00:55:40,098 --> 00:55:40,488
Okay.

2066
00:55:40,488 --> 00:55:41,268
Well 'cause like a

2067
00:55:41,268 --> 00:55:42,858
13-year-old isn't a kid.

2068
00:55:42,858 --> 00:55:44,416
It's, it's a, it's you're

2069
00:55:44,416 --> 00:55:45,141
a teenager already.

2070
00:55:45,141 --> 00:55:45,201
Yeah.

2071
00:55:45,768 --> 00:55:46,968
have had their growth spurt and

2072
00:55:46,968 --> 00:55:48,301
it's all that, it's like Yeah.

2073
00:55:48,301 --> 00:55:49,141
They probably will just

2074
00:55:49,141 --> 00:55:51,691
be like, you know, scared.

2075
00:55:51,691 --> 00:55:52,891
They're just gonna sulk in the corner

2076
00:55:52,891 --> 00:55:54,514
and, be an awkward 13-year-old.

2077
00:55:54,514 --> 00:55:55,954
But if they're having fun with their

2078
00:55:56,194 --> 00:55:58,984
second cousins and aunts and uncles

2079
00:55:58,984 --> 00:56:01,744
and her mom and stuff, then okay.

2080
00:56:01,744 --> 00:56:03,194
Like, I think that could have

2081
00:56:03,404 --> 00:56:06,683
very easily been To me, like

2082
00:56:06,683 --> 00:56:08,018
okay, like yeah, that's not a kid.

2083
00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:08,913
that's a teenager.

2084
00:56:09,079 --> 00:56:10,129
which is a whole other thing.

2085
00:56:10,493 --> 00:56:12,233
it's the mom just trying to cause some

2086
00:56:12,233 --> 00:56:14,033
drama, trying to control something.

2087
00:56:14,326 --> 00:56:15,396
Because we also don't even know if

2088
00:56:15,396 --> 00:56:17,376
the second cousin said anything, like,

2089
00:56:17,543 --> 00:56:18,863
maybe the second cousin was like,

2090
00:56:18,893 --> 00:56:20,726
I don't care if they come or not.

2091
00:56:20,726 --> 00:56:21,656
I'll still go.

2092
00:56:21,926 --> 00:56:23,319
Maybe at that point the invitations

2093
00:56:23,319 --> 00:56:24,489
weren't even out and they didn't even

2094
00:56:24,489 --> 00:56:25,389
know if they were gonna invite the

2095
00:56:25,389 --> 00:56:26,649
second cousin, but the mom's like,

2096
00:56:26,679 --> 00:56:28,509
oh, well, she won't come without this.

2097
00:56:28,509 --> 00:56:30,159
'cause I have heard of families like that

2098
00:56:30,159 --> 00:56:31,809
where they already have this crazy list

2099
00:56:31,809 --> 00:56:33,549
of people that haven't even talked to

2100
00:56:33,549 --> 00:56:35,619
the bride or groom in years, and they're

2101
00:56:35,619 --> 00:56:36,789
like, we weren't even gonna invite them.

2102
00:56:36,789 --> 00:56:39,189
They're like, but it's my second cousin.

2103
00:56:39,189 --> 00:56:40,359
And they're like, why are you

2104
00:56:40,359 --> 00:56:42,539
inviting people that like, I

2105
00:56:42,539 --> 00:56:43,799
don't have a relationship with?

2106
00:56:44,126 --> 00:56:45,313
So I feel like at the end of the day,

2107
00:56:45,313 --> 00:56:46,483
it's like, it doesn't even matter.

2108
00:56:46,513 --> 00:56:48,283
Even if the person was 21 years

2109
00:56:48,283 --> 00:56:50,383
old and as their kid, it's like.

2110
00:56:50,823 --> 00:56:51,793
If they don't have a relationship

2111
00:56:51,793 --> 00:56:53,473
with them or didn't ha think to

2112
00:56:53,473 --> 00:56:55,303
include them, then they're not as

2113
00:56:55,303 --> 00:56:57,853
important to them as the, to the mom.

2114
00:56:58,176 --> 00:56:58,483
Yeah.

2115
00:56:58,856 --> 00:56:59,663
there's something more

2116
00:56:59,663 --> 00:57:00,919
going on with her wanting.

2117
00:57:01,201 --> 00:57:02,719
She wanted something to come to

2118
00:57:02,719 --> 00:57:04,949
a head with this gal, her boys

2119
00:57:04,949 --> 00:57:06,876
marrying, something deeper there.

2120
00:57:06,876 --> 00:57:07,746
I don't buy that.

2121
00:57:07,746 --> 00:57:09,079
It's, yeah,

2122
00:57:09,373 --> 00:57:09,623
okay.

2123
00:57:09,623 --> 00:57:11,333
So like, to kind of finish that part,

2124
00:57:11,333 --> 00:57:13,129
she says, the rest of the family wouldn't

2125
00:57:13,129 --> 00:57:14,989
show up either if the 13-year-old

2126
00:57:14,989 --> 00:57:17,509
wasn't invited, or technically if

2127
00:57:17,509 --> 00:57:19,879
she was uninvited, since his mom

2128
00:57:19,879 --> 00:57:21,319
had already taken it upon herself

2129
00:57:21,319 --> 00:57:23,539
to say yes, then she insisted on

2130
00:57:23,539 --> 00:57:24,914
speaking a 13-year-old girl too.

2131
00:57:25,599 --> 00:57:26,446
I'm making all the wrong

2132
00:57:26,446 --> 00:57:27,286
assumptions on this.

2133
00:57:27,466 --> 00:57:27,856
Okay.

2134
00:57:28,379 --> 00:57:30,059
A 13-year-old girl definitely

2135
00:57:30,059 --> 00:57:30,959
wants to go to a wedding.

2136
00:57:30,959 --> 00:57:32,189
And like that wouldn't be a, like,

2137
00:57:32,616 --> 00:57:33,953
I don't know, is in your mind,

2138
00:57:33,953 --> 00:57:35,543
is that a kid in all seriousness?

2139
00:57:35,543 --> 00:57:36,609
am I just crazy here?

2140
00:57:37,029 --> 00:57:37,119
Yes.

2141
00:57:37,119 --> 00:57:37,179
To

2142
00:57:37,179 --> 00:57:38,019
me, that's a kid.

2143
00:57:38,229 --> 00:57:38,799
It is a kid.

2144
00:57:38,799 --> 00:57:39,069
Okay.

2145
00:57:39,219 --> 00:57:39,519
All right.

2146
00:57:39,609 --> 00:57:39,879
All right.

2147
00:57:39,879 --> 00:57:41,949
Like we did only, 21 and

2148
00:57:41,949 --> 00:57:43,059
older at our wedding.

2149
00:57:43,059 --> 00:57:45,339
So anyone that was under, because

2150
00:57:45,339 --> 00:57:46,569
I had cousins that were like

2151
00:57:46,629 --> 00:57:48,009
younger and I didn't invite them.

2152
00:57:48,849 --> 00:57:49,309
Sure, sure, sure, sure.

2153
00:57:49,309 --> 00:57:50,259
And if you've got like a bunch

2154
00:57:50,259 --> 00:57:51,189
of cousins, you gotta invite, you

2155
00:57:51,189 --> 00:57:52,174
can't invite just one, you gotta

2156
00:57:52,174 --> 00:57:53,139
invite them all kind of deal.

2157
00:57:53,139 --> 00:57:53,229
Deal.

2158
00:57:53,229 --> 00:57:53,379
Like

2159
00:57:53,717 --> 00:57:53,897
got two

2160
00:57:53,897 --> 00:57:55,957
maybe at 13 if it was like my

2161
00:57:55,957 --> 00:57:58,537
parents' second cousin's wedding,

2162
00:57:58,627 --> 00:57:59,887
I don't know if I would go to that.

2163
00:58:00,094 --> 00:58:02,341
But if it was like aunt and uncle at

2164
00:58:02,341 --> 00:58:03,991
13, oh yeah, I would've loved that.

2165
00:58:03,991 --> 00:58:05,701
So it just depends on your relation.

2166
00:58:05,991 --> 00:58:07,387
Yeah, like, but my parents would never

2167
00:58:07,387 --> 00:58:09,157
have been like, you have to invite my kid.

2168
00:58:09,157 --> 00:58:09,277
My

2169
00:58:09,294 --> 00:58:10,491
This is a rollercoaster.

2170
00:58:10,491 --> 00:58:10,911
Geez.

2171
00:58:10,911 --> 00:58:12,964
I, I could see again, like,

2172
00:58:13,244 --> 00:58:14,994
yes, anyone under, if, if, if

2173
00:58:14,994 --> 00:58:16,974
no kids means no one under 21.

2174
00:58:17,327 --> 00:58:17,891
Yes.

2175
00:58:17,941 --> 00:58:20,731
I, I, I think to me when I say no kids,

2176
00:58:20,731 --> 00:58:23,161
I think like thir no one, 13 and under.

2177
00:58:23,251 --> 00:58:24,931
Like, that's, that's kind of

2178
00:58:24,931 --> 00:58:26,251
where my brain was kind of at.

2179
00:58:26,611 --> 00:58:27,121
Um.

2180
00:58:27,566 --> 00:58:29,576
Because like if one teenager comes,

2181
00:58:29,576 --> 00:58:32,096
it's like, okay, well then, oh, dang it.

2182
00:58:32,186 --> 00:58:33,236
But know, that sucks.

2183
00:58:33,512 --> 00:58:34,502
I feel bad for the teen.

2184
00:58:34,502 --> 00:58:35,582
Like what are they gonna do?

2185
00:58:36,182 --> 00:58:36,452
You know?

2186
00:58:36,457 --> 00:58:36,547
Right.

2187
00:58:37,082 --> 00:58:37,442
Yeah.

2188
00:58:37,847 --> 00:58:38,107
You know?

2189
00:58:38,112 --> 00:58:38,462
Yeah.

2190
00:58:38,462 --> 00:58:39,392
I mean, I think really what it

2191
00:58:39,392 --> 00:58:40,932
comes down to is that the bride

2192
00:58:40,932 --> 00:58:42,502
and groom said no and the mom.

2193
00:58:42,567 --> 00:58:42,857
Yeah.

2194
00:58:42,857 --> 00:58:42,867
Yeah.

2195
00:58:42,937 --> 00:58:44,182
And I think that's the big thing.

2196
00:58:44,182 --> 00:58:45,979
you gotta just, learn when to hold

2197
00:58:45,979 --> 00:58:47,149
'em, learn when to fold 'em and

2198
00:58:47,149 --> 00:58:49,189
like, I think the mom is trying

2199
00:58:49,239 --> 00:58:52,087
to just not make it easy on them.

2200
00:58:52,137 --> 00:58:54,057
I think the mom's trying to come up with

2201
00:58:54,057 --> 00:58:58,627
anything possible that she can pivot,

2202
00:58:59,047 --> 00:58:59,674
because like, that's the other thing.

2203
00:58:59,674 --> 00:59:00,964
There's lots of ways you can ruin

2204
00:59:00,964 --> 00:59:02,464
a relationship or ruin a wedding.

2205
00:59:02,740 --> 00:59:04,174
I think she's trying to come up, these

2206
00:59:04,174 --> 00:59:05,914
are the only things that, the only straw

2207
00:59:05,914 --> 00:59:07,744
she's grasping at that she can turn

2208
00:59:07,744 --> 00:59:11,074
around to be there slash her future.

2209
00:59:11,074 --> 00:59:12,184
And daughter-in-law's fault.

2210
00:59:12,814 --> 00:59:13,354
Which right.

2211
00:59:13,359 --> 00:59:15,184
Is not, and no one, no.

2212
00:59:15,184 --> 00:59:16,924
Everyone's seeing through.

2213
00:59:17,326 --> 00:59:17,986
Like, no, no.

2214
00:59:17,986 --> 00:59:19,396
You're just hiding it behind your back.

2215
00:59:19,442 --> 00:59:20,942
no, like we know what you're doing.

2216
00:59:20,942 --> 00:59:21,092
Yeah.

2217
00:59:21,212 --> 00:59:21,482
She's

2218
00:59:21,482 --> 00:59:21,842
fighting

2219
00:59:21,842 --> 00:59:22,412
something

2220
00:59:22,442 --> 00:59:22,922
also.

2221
00:59:22,922 --> 00:59:24,422
No one else in the family will come.

2222
00:59:24,587 --> 00:59:25,382
Well, does the rest of the

2223
00:59:25,382 --> 00:59:26,402
family know she's crazy?

2224
00:59:26,402 --> 00:59:27,482
'cause they might like that can,

2225
00:59:27,812 --> 00:59:29,642
that's a bold move on the mom to

2226
00:59:29,642 --> 00:59:31,142
think like, oh, everyone's gonna,

2227
00:59:31,409 --> 00:59:32,399
yeah, I hear this stuff all the

2228
00:59:32,399 --> 00:59:33,269
time with these kind of people.

2229
00:59:33,269 --> 00:59:34,559
They always threaten not to come.

2230
00:59:34,739 --> 00:59:35,639
They'd be like, oh, if you don't do

2231
00:59:35,639 --> 00:59:37,229
this, if you don't have your brother

2232
00:59:37,229 --> 00:59:38,609
in the wedding, if you don't have this

2233
00:59:38,609 --> 00:59:40,679
girl as a flower girl, we'll not come.

2234
00:59:40,679 --> 00:59:41,579
And it's like, okay, then.

2235
00:59:41,579 --> 00:59:41,849
don't.

2236
00:59:42,177 --> 00:59:43,504
Okay, she insisted.

2237
00:59:43,504 --> 00:59:45,376
Then on speaking to my fiancé alone

2238
00:59:45,747 --> 00:59:47,686
during that call, she told him she was

2239
00:59:47,686 --> 00:59:49,846
embarrassed by our wedding, embarrassed

2240
00:59:49,846 --> 00:59:51,796
by how we treated the family, and

2241
00:59:51,796 --> 00:59:53,536
incredibly disappointed in him.

2242
00:59:53,843 --> 00:59:55,462
After a lot of yelling and crying,

2243
00:59:55,462 --> 00:59:56,842
she demanded that he come over

2244
00:59:56,842 --> 00:59:58,402
to have a sit down conversation

2245
00:59:58,402 --> 01:00:00,412
with both parents without me.

2246
01:00:00,670 --> 01:00:02,902
After we talked it through, he went

2247
01:00:03,143 --> 01:00:04,526
thinking it was the best option.

2248
01:00:04,783 --> 01:00:06,299
That conversation lasted

2249
01:00:06,329 --> 01:00:07,949
three and a half hours.

2250
01:00:08,273 --> 01:00:09,314
It's all this talking.

2251
01:00:09,434 --> 01:00:10,304
It's getting shorter.

2252
01:00:10,424 --> 01:00:11,144
It's getting shorter.

2253
01:00:11,144 --> 01:00:11,354
Okay.

2254
01:00:11,389 --> 01:00:11,829
A little shorter.

2255
01:00:11,829 --> 01:00:12,109
Yeah,

2256
01:00:12,704 --> 01:00:14,714
During it, they raised some concerns

2257
01:00:14,714 --> 01:00:17,144
about me basically saying I was fake.

2258
01:00:17,234 --> 01:00:18,552
And then I just, say whatever

2259
01:00:18,552 --> 01:00:20,442
people wanted to hear to smooth

2260
01:00:20,442 --> 01:00:22,693
over the conversations they implied.

2261
01:00:22,693 --> 01:00:23,383
I was a no they,

2262
01:00:23,383 --> 01:00:25,543
difficult conversations first of

2263
01:00:25,543 --> 01:00:26,863
all, okay, okay, well let's get to

2264
01:00:26,863 --> 01:00:27,943
the gold digger thing in a moment.

2265
01:00:28,253 --> 01:00:29,688
I have kind of a weird theory

2266
01:00:29,745 --> 01:00:31,125
that's just popped into all of this.

2267
01:00:31,401 --> 01:00:33,088
cause this has happened, to me as well.

2268
01:00:33,118 --> 01:00:33,418
Okay.

2269
01:00:33,778 --> 01:00:35,285
you're mad at her trying to smooth over

2270
01:00:35,285 --> 01:00:37,385
the problems you're creating, like Right.

2271
01:00:37,505 --> 01:00:38,135
That that's,

2272
01:00:38,255 --> 01:00:38,705
oh my gosh.

2273
01:00:38,705 --> 01:00:39,605
She's too kind.

2274
01:00:40,505 --> 01:00:41,735
She's not causing more drama.

2275
01:00:42,245 --> 01:00:42,515
Yeah.

2276
01:00:42,515 --> 01:00:42,815
Yeah.

2277
01:00:43,041 --> 01:00:43,881
This has been referenced a

2278
01:00:43,881 --> 01:00:45,941
couple times, where she says,

2279
01:00:45,941 --> 01:00:47,411
the mom has said the family.

2280
01:00:47,791 --> 01:00:48,091
Mm-hmm.

2281
01:00:48,421 --> 01:00:49,651
I have a new perspective on

2282
01:00:49,651 --> 01:00:51,001
this and I might be projecting

2283
01:00:51,307 --> 01:00:52,648
this might be a mob thing.

2284
01:00:53,056 --> 01:00:55,070
I was, again, early in my career.

2285
01:00:55,190 --> 01:00:56,300
Again, the show was great, but this

2286
01:00:56,300 --> 01:00:57,440
is just one of those little stories.

2287
01:00:57,676 --> 01:00:58,853
it was in downtown Chicago.

2288
01:00:59,074 --> 01:01:01,463
I took the train down and, went

2289
01:01:01,463 --> 01:01:03,550
to the venue and they were, I'm

2290
01:01:03,550 --> 01:01:06,266
still getting paid on Arrival Cash.

2291
01:01:06,584 --> 01:01:08,366
I now get, you know, I don't go

2292
01:01:08,366 --> 01:01:09,446
anywhere without a deposit now.

2293
01:01:09,790 --> 01:01:10,990
but that's how long ago it was.

2294
01:01:11,304 --> 01:01:12,863
And she was like, oh yeah, my

2295
01:01:12,863 --> 01:01:13,763
husband will take care of you.

2296
01:01:13,913 --> 01:01:15,233
And I'm like, a little nervous about that.

2297
01:01:15,233 --> 01:01:16,463
I'm like, does he know how much?

2298
01:01:16,463 --> 01:01:18,083
Like, is he gonna throw a stink?

2299
01:01:18,113 --> 01:01:19,403
What's gonna, but he was fine.

2300
01:01:19,713 --> 01:01:21,151
he was like, oh yeah, sure.

2301
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:21,951
He's like, love that.

2302
01:01:21,951 --> 01:01:22,611
You take cash.

2303
01:01:22,641 --> 01:01:23,751
Cash is great in my business.

2304
01:01:23,781 --> 01:01:25,371
And as he's saying that, he's taking

2305
01:01:25,371 --> 01:01:27,411
out a wad, just a rubber band, just a

2306
01:01:27,411 --> 01:01:30,498
wad of no cards in between, either just,

2307
01:01:30,503 --> 01:01:30,703
yeah,

2308
01:01:31,024 --> 01:01:32,501
cash, just stack.

2309
01:01:32,774 --> 01:01:34,041
And I'm so young and naive,

2310
01:01:34,214 --> 01:01:35,028
he starts peeling him off.

2311
01:01:35,028 --> 01:01:35,448
He's like, good.

2312
01:01:35,448 --> 01:01:36,858
I love cash in my business too.

2313
01:01:37,127 --> 01:01:38,045
And I'm so young and naive.

2314
01:01:38,045 --> 01:01:39,721
I go, oh, what business is that?

2315
01:01:39,721 --> 01:01:42,541
And he literally stops, looks

2316
01:01:42,541 --> 01:01:44,568
at me, looks back at the money.

2317
01:01:45,108 --> 01:01:45,978
Peels off what he owes me.

2318
01:01:45,978 --> 01:01:47,238
Peels off an extra a hundred

2319
01:01:47,238 --> 01:01:49,158
and just goes seafood business.

2320
01:01:49,158 --> 01:01:49,218
Oh.

2321
01:01:50,598 --> 01:01:52,175
And I'm like, love seafood.

2322
01:01:52,265 --> 01:01:52,835
Yeah, seafood.

2323
01:01:53,195 --> 01:01:53,585
Wonderful.

2324
01:01:53,670 --> 01:01:54,755
Love it, love it.

2325
01:01:55,035 --> 01:01:56,778
that event went so well that like

2326
01:01:57,018 --> 01:01:59,538
two, three-ish years later I'm doing

2327
01:01:59,538 --> 01:02:01,098
another event and they're there.

2328
01:02:01,229 --> 01:02:02,549
someone at that party booked me for

2329
01:02:02,549 --> 01:02:04,834
their party and I see 'em and I, grew

2330
01:02:04,834 --> 01:02:06,437
up fast and show business, doing all

2331
01:02:06,437 --> 01:02:08,237
these events and I just see 'em and

2332
01:02:08,237 --> 01:02:09,817
I go, how's the seafood business?

2333
01:02:09,817 --> 01:02:10,807
And there was a moment where

2334
01:02:10,807 --> 01:02:11,827
like, you know, when someone's

2335
01:02:11,827 --> 01:02:12,937
like, what do they mean?

2336
01:02:12,937 --> 01:02:12,997
Yeah.

2337
01:02:13,363 --> 01:02:14,404
it was just like a half second

2338
01:02:14,404 --> 01:02:16,324
of that and he goes, ah, booming.

2339
01:02:16,954 --> 01:02:19,246
So Got it.

2340
01:02:19,276 --> 01:02:19,756
okay.

2341
01:02:19,756 --> 01:02:19,996
Yep.

2342
01:02:20,056 --> 01:02:21,346
That's all we're gonna talk about.

2343
01:02:21,406 --> 01:02:22,966
That's all we're gonna talk about.

2344
01:02:23,069 --> 01:02:23,549
Yes.

2345
01:02:23,901 --> 01:02:24,999
again, we've been at some

2346
01:02:24,999 --> 01:02:26,259
events where it's like, oh, that

2347
01:02:26,259 --> 01:02:29,596
person don't mess with Vinny.

2348
01:02:29,596 --> 01:02:32,214
Don't, you know, like, there's some

2349
01:02:32,214 --> 01:02:33,834
events I've been out where it's like,

2350
01:02:33,834 --> 01:02:35,688
okay, I'm getting some weird mob vibe.

2351
01:02:35,688 --> 01:02:36,978
So now like, disrespecting the

2352
01:02:36,978 --> 01:02:38,418
family and now gold digger.

2353
01:02:38,651 --> 01:02:39,241
mm-hmm.

2354
01:02:39,356 --> 01:02:41,029
honestly, like that just doesn't

2355
01:02:41,029 --> 01:02:43,159
happen when it's a family company.

2356
01:02:43,476 --> 01:02:44,099
It happens when it's a

2357
01:02:44,099 --> 01:02:46,454
family business, you know?

2358
01:02:46,859 --> 01:02:47,579
You know what I'm saying?

2359
01:02:47,579 --> 01:02:47,639
Yeah.

2360
01:02:47,819 --> 01:02:50,249
So I'm getting weird, like

2361
01:02:50,499 --> 01:02:54,429
matriarchal, even if it's not, illegal.

2362
01:02:54,429 --> 01:02:55,549
Just some weird like.

2363
01:02:55,674 --> 01:02:55,894
Oh

2364
01:02:56,336 --> 01:02:57,856
mob, vibey.

2365
01:02:58,159 --> 01:02:58,782
You know what I mean?

2366
01:02:58,997 --> 01:02:59,177
like,

2367
01:02:59,177 --> 01:03:00,647
I don't know if I've read just like

2368
01:03:00,647 --> 01:03:02,507
enough of these wedding stories.

2369
01:03:02,597 --> 01:03:06,331
it's a pure, mama's boy thing.

2370
01:03:06,661 --> 01:03:08,191
I've seen it in so many stories where

2371
01:03:08,221 --> 01:03:10,621
the mom will call the new wife Gold

2372
01:03:10,621 --> 01:03:12,001
digger because there's some kind of

2373
01:03:12,001 --> 01:03:14,417
jealousy or insecurity where the boy

2374
01:03:14,417 --> 01:03:17,104
is leaving the house and it's so weird.

2375
01:03:17,104 --> 01:03:18,274
But they've completely, the

2376
01:03:18,274 --> 01:03:19,654
second they call someone a gold

2377
01:03:19,654 --> 01:03:21,154
digger, I'm like, you're done.

2378
01:03:21,514 --> 01:03:22,084
Like, sorry.

2379
01:03:22,084 --> 01:03:22,864
Thoughts on credibility.

2380
01:03:22,864 --> 01:03:24,184
Okay, so that's a little more.

2381
01:03:24,437 --> 01:03:24,887
All right.

2382
01:03:24,887 --> 01:03:25,847
So I might be reading too

2383
01:03:25,847 --> 01:03:26,762
much into it, but like

2384
01:03:26,862 --> 01:03:27,587
you might be onto it.

2385
01:03:27,587 --> 01:03:27,947
I don't know.

2386
01:03:27,947 --> 01:03:28,877
That's, I've just seen it

2387
01:03:28,877 --> 01:03:29,897
a lot in these stories.

2388
01:03:29,897 --> 01:03:29,987
Sure.

2389
01:03:29,987 --> 01:03:31,367
That's like their go-to thing is

2390
01:03:31,367 --> 01:03:32,357
like, oh, she's a gold digger.

2391
01:03:32,362 --> 01:03:33,467
She just wants you for your money.

2392
01:03:33,766 --> 01:03:35,274
When that's even happened in stories

2393
01:03:35,274 --> 01:03:36,384
where like, the woman's making

2394
01:03:36,384 --> 01:03:38,011
more than the man and the mom will

2395
01:03:38,011 --> 01:03:39,181
be like, oh, she's a gold digger.

2396
01:03:39,181 --> 01:03:41,851
She's wants you for this or that, and it's

2397
01:03:41,851 --> 01:03:44,181
just their go-to, and sold, I've found.

2398
01:03:44,592 --> 01:03:44,937
Yeah.

2399
01:03:45,362 --> 01:03:45,609
Okay.

2400
01:03:45,609 --> 01:03:47,694
So called, they called her a gold digger.

2401
01:03:47,784 --> 01:03:49,257
Said she's too nice.

2402
01:03:49,257 --> 01:03:50,577
She's too flexible with

2403
01:03:50,577 --> 01:03:52,077
all of our crazy demands.

2404
01:03:52,386 --> 01:03:52,977
Like, come on.

2405
01:03:52,977 --> 01:03:54,054
She's just her Pushover.

2406
01:03:54,144 --> 01:03:54,354
Right.

2407
01:03:55,594 --> 01:03:56,914
okay, so then she did ad she said his

2408
01:03:56,914 --> 01:03:58,834
family is very well off and mine isn't.

2409
01:03:58,834 --> 01:04:01,114
So they're just bringing out money in it.

2410
01:04:01,392 --> 01:04:01,954
Okay.

2411
01:04:01,954 --> 01:04:02,314
Fair.

2412
01:04:02,524 --> 01:04:02,794
But

2413
01:04:02,794 --> 01:04:04,594
yeah, they even said, I exaggerate my

2414
01:04:04,594 --> 01:04:06,694
pain to get out of family gatherings.

2415
01:04:07,019 --> 01:04:08,554
For context, I've had three hip

2416
01:04:08,554 --> 01:04:10,444
surgeries in the last five years.

2417
01:04:10,659 --> 01:04:12,439
My most recent one was October,

2418
01:04:12,439 --> 01:04:14,314
2024, and yet I haven't missed

2419
01:04:14,314 --> 01:04:15,724
a single family gathering.

2420
01:04:16,006 --> 01:04:17,254
The most I've done is step

2421
01:04:17,254 --> 01:04:18,934
away to sit somewhere more

2422
01:04:18,934 --> 01:04:20,554
comfortable to manage my pain.

2423
01:04:20,842 --> 01:04:22,481
They also told him something along

2424
01:04:22,481 --> 01:04:24,611
the lines of, we know once you make a

2425
01:04:24,611 --> 01:04:26,877
decision, you stick with it, but we need

2426
01:04:26,877 --> 01:04:28,947
you to tell us if this is really what you

2427
01:04:28,947 --> 01:04:31,161
want and we'll help you get out of it.

2428
01:04:31,532 --> 01:04:33,551
So now they're trying to talk to him, get

2429
01:04:33,551 --> 01:04:36,081
out of the wedding, meaning marrying me.

2430
01:04:36,422 --> 01:04:38,256
He defended me, but it felt

2431
01:04:38,256 --> 01:04:39,746
like once one issue was

2432
01:04:39,746 --> 01:04:41,396
addressed, another one popped up.

2433
01:04:41,426 --> 01:04:42,146
Immediately.

2434
01:04:42,424 --> 01:04:44,196
By the time he came home after

2435
01:04:44,196 --> 01:04:45,576
hours with them blaming me for

2436
01:04:45,576 --> 01:04:47,802
everything, he was emotionally wrecked.

2437
01:04:48,081 --> 01:04:50,039
This whole situation was breaking him.

2438
01:04:50,514 --> 01:04:52,566
He keeps saying he wants to keep the

2439
01:04:52,686 --> 01:04:55,422
peace, but at the same time his mom is

2440
01:04:55,422 --> 01:04:57,312
currently planning my bridal shower.

2441
01:04:57,342 --> 01:04:58,542
I'd be like, I don't want her

2442
01:04:58,542 --> 01:05:01,122
touching anything wedding related

2443
01:05:02,079 --> 01:05:02,139
odd,

2444
01:05:02,441 --> 01:05:03,882
which was an olive branch I

2445
01:05:03,882 --> 01:05:05,652
tried to extend a while ago.

2446
01:05:05,914 --> 01:05:07,482
Now I feel like I don't want someone

2447
01:05:07,482 --> 01:05:09,342
who thinks so poorly of me planning

2448
01:05:09,342 --> 01:05:10,782
something meant to celebrate me.

2449
01:05:10,942 --> 01:05:11,752
If you're listening to this

2450
01:05:11,752 --> 01:05:13,132
now, I would say tell her you

2451
01:05:13,132 --> 01:05:14,362
no longer want her planning it.

2452
01:05:14,422 --> 01:05:16,912
Have friends or your family do it or

2453
01:05:16,912 --> 01:05:18,749
don't have one, and I would not be,

2454
01:05:18,749 --> 01:05:20,279
I literally would not be going to an

2455
01:05:20,279 --> 01:05:21,929
event of someone that like hates me.

2456
01:05:22,251 --> 01:05:22,911
Yeah.

2457
01:05:23,097 --> 01:05:24,234
is that it, is that the end of it?

2458
01:05:24,234 --> 01:05:24,324
There

2459
01:05:24,324 --> 01:05:25,314
was a little bit more.

2460
01:05:25,614 --> 01:05:26,424
Do a little bit more.

2461
01:05:26,424 --> 01:05:29,019
'cause I want to, I have one more

2462
01:05:29,109 --> 01:05:30,519
theory of what they can do next,

2463
01:05:30,519 --> 01:05:31,329
but let's hear the end of it.

2464
01:05:31,681 --> 01:05:33,557
he genuinely believes they like me.

2465
01:05:34,242 --> 01:05:35,137
I don't know how I feel

2466
01:05:35,137 --> 01:05:36,367
about this fiance anymore.

2467
01:05:36,532 --> 01:05:37,147
Oof, oof.

2468
01:05:37,177 --> 01:05:38,107
How many times you have to

2469
01:05:38,107 --> 01:05:39,877
be told by your parents.

2470
01:05:40,112 --> 01:05:41,221
She's the problem.

2471
01:05:41,221 --> 01:05:42,331
She's a gold digger.

2472
01:05:42,656 --> 01:05:43,582
are you sure you wanna do this?

2473
01:05:43,942 --> 01:05:45,112
It's definitely been toxic.

2474
01:05:45,112 --> 01:05:47,319
Positive too much in my life.

2475
01:05:47,319 --> 01:05:49,156
I can't throw stone in that house.

2476
01:05:49,439 --> 01:05:49,949
Continue.

2477
01:05:50,296 --> 01:05:52,519
I still say, okay, he's not the red flag.

2478
01:05:52,862 --> 01:05:53,642
That's been the biggest

2479
01:05:53,642 --> 01:05:54,812
red flag for him so far.

2480
01:05:54,812 --> 01:05:56,047
He's still doing all.

2481
01:05:56,047 --> 01:05:56,847
Yeah, he's I definitely

2482
01:05:56,847 --> 01:05:58,077
wouldn't call him a red flag.

2483
01:05:58,077 --> 01:05:59,687
I think he's definitely more, he's

2484
01:05:59,687 --> 01:06:01,117
trying to keep the peace, like she

2485
01:06:01,117 --> 01:06:03,357
said, but it's also, you have to look

2486
01:06:03,357 --> 01:06:05,217
at the dynamic of his mom being very

2487
01:06:05,217 --> 01:06:06,957
controlling and maybe manipulative.

2488
01:06:07,310 --> 01:06:09,800
so he's like, I want everyone to be happy.

2489
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:11,450
These are people I all care about.

2490
01:06:11,706 --> 01:06:12,646
they really do like you.

2491
01:06:12,646 --> 01:06:14,716
I promise you just don't know them yet.

2492
01:06:14,906 --> 01:06:15,986
like that kind of thing.

2493
01:06:16,356 --> 01:06:16,806
that's hard.

2494
01:06:17,120 --> 01:06:19,340
so she genuinely believes they like me

2495
01:06:19,340 --> 01:06:21,650
and are just concerned, but I don't see

2496
01:06:21,650 --> 01:06:23,930
how someone can like me while believing

2497
01:06:23,930 --> 01:06:26,283
I'm fake manipulative and using him.

2498
01:06:26,630 --> 01:06:28,496
He broke down crying and said he doesn't

2499
01:06:28,496 --> 01:06:30,626
know how much more conflict he can take.

2500
01:06:30,810 --> 01:06:31,900
And honestly now I don't

2501
01:06:31,900 --> 01:06:32,980
know what to do either.

2502
01:06:33,243 --> 01:06:35,150
He's extremely involved with his family.

2503
01:06:35,370 --> 01:06:37,056
He works for the family business.

2504
01:06:38,165 --> 01:06:38,675
called it.

2505
01:06:38,855 --> 01:06:41,255
I called it, I called that did, did

2506
01:06:41,465 --> 01:06:42,275
Mind reader.

2507
01:06:42,425 --> 01:06:43,865
Mind Reader totally called that?

2508
01:06:44,435 --> 01:06:45,185
Totally, yes.

2509
01:06:45,995 --> 01:06:47,075
Okay.

2510
01:06:47,135 --> 01:06:48,305
You might really be honest.

2511
01:06:48,695 --> 01:06:49,475
Something.

2512
01:06:49,766 --> 01:06:51,435
And they don't want her stealing from this

2513
01:06:51,435 --> 01:06:53,085
family business or learning the secrets.

2514
01:06:53,293 --> 01:06:54,003
did they say that?

2515
01:06:54,003 --> 01:06:54,408
Did they say

2516
01:06:54,408 --> 01:06:54,498
that?

2517
01:06:54,503 --> 01:06:55,518
So I just am implying.

2518
01:06:55,518 --> 01:06:55,578
Okay.

2519
01:06:55,693 --> 01:06:55,853
Okay.

2520
01:06:55,878 --> 01:06:56,358
I was gonna say.

2521
01:06:56,448 --> 01:06:56,748
Okay.

2522
01:06:56,808 --> 01:06:57,078
Alright.

2523
01:06:57,083 --> 01:06:57,293
Alright.

2524
01:06:57,298 --> 01:06:58,938
Well she just said and sees most

2525
01:06:58,938 --> 01:07:01,146
of them every single day, at work.

2526
01:07:01,916 --> 01:07:03,896
So now I'm stuck wondering, do I

2527
01:07:03,896 --> 01:07:06,236
keep the peace and hope he eventually

2528
01:07:06,236 --> 01:07:07,886
realizes how toxic this is?

2529
01:07:08,206 --> 01:07:09,886
Or do I finally speak up about how

2530
01:07:09,886 --> 01:07:11,686
I feel and risk everything blowing

2531
01:07:11,686 --> 01:07:13,666
up because I genuinely don't know.

2532
01:07:13,983 --> 01:07:15,446
Alright, so she needs some advice here.

2533
01:07:15,656 --> 01:07:16,046
Okay.

2534
01:07:16,240 --> 01:07:18,430
keep in mind, I am a straight white man.

2535
01:07:18,430 --> 01:07:19,450
No one should listen to me.

2536
01:07:19,810 --> 01:07:20,746
I do have empathy, but

2537
01:07:20,746 --> 01:07:21,976
that's my only superpower.

2538
01:07:22,316 --> 01:07:22,636
Um, hey,

2539
01:07:22,636 --> 01:07:23,866
empathy is a great superpower.

2540
01:07:23,970 --> 01:07:25,360
it is a great superpower.

2541
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:26,840
but then everything's your kryptonite.

2542
01:07:27,166 --> 01:07:27,346
okay.

2543
01:07:27,346 --> 01:07:28,816
So now that, okay.

2544
01:07:29,133 --> 01:07:30,773
So I think there are options.

2545
01:07:31,123 --> 01:07:34,091
I actually think, provided it is,

2546
01:07:34,331 --> 01:07:36,271
setting aside the jokes about, mob

2547
01:07:36,271 --> 01:07:38,041
ties and everything, if it is a

2548
01:07:38,041 --> 01:07:41,731
legitimate family printing business

2549
01:07:41,731 --> 01:07:44,978
or, brewery or something, there's no

2550
01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:47,018
money laundering or anything like that.

2551
01:07:47,278 --> 01:07:49,798
I would actually say, Put things

2552
01:07:49,798 --> 01:07:52,518
on a six month hold and offer

2553
01:07:52,518 --> 01:07:55,068
to work at the family business.

2554
01:07:55,349 --> 01:07:55,515
Oh,

2555
01:07:56,419 --> 01:07:57,965
I would say, Hey, you

2556
01:07:57,965 --> 01:07:59,345
clearly don't trust me yet.

2557
01:07:59,716 --> 01:08:00,866
now you're opening yourself up to

2558
01:08:00,866 --> 01:08:03,793
a lot of literal, crap shoveling.

2559
01:08:03,823 --> 01:08:05,023
you'll be cleaning the

2560
01:08:05,023 --> 01:08:06,103
toilets and all the others.

2561
01:08:06,103 --> 01:08:09,493
I understand this is in some ways could be

2562
01:08:09,613 --> 01:08:13,363
mentally and physically not the most safe.

2563
01:08:13,740 --> 01:08:17,730
but if you are in their world, in

2564
01:08:17,730 --> 01:08:19,436
their, for lack of a better term,

2565
01:08:19,583 --> 01:08:20,846
because they have their own culture now.

2566
01:08:20,876 --> 01:08:21,536
Like what?

2567
01:08:21,536 --> 01:08:22,436
You know, I was making all the jokes

2568
01:08:22,436 --> 01:08:24,176
before, but if it's a family business

2569
01:08:24,176 --> 01:08:25,196
and they're seeing each other every

2570
01:08:25,196 --> 01:08:28,093
day, you are now this extra extra thing

2571
01:08:28,376 --> 01:08:29,936
think there's gotta be some level to

2572
01:08:29,936 --> 01:08:34,723
where they can see the value of you, not

2573
01:08:34,723 --> 01:08:36,853
just the value you bring to their son.

2574
01:08:37,020 --> 01:08:39,286
Is that necessarily right or

2575
01:08:39,286 --> 01:08:40,936
the best way or anything else?

2576
01:08:41,230 --> 01:08:43,843
Probably not, but it is a suggestion,

2577
01:08:44,110 --> 01:08:47,320
that I think is a worthwhile

2578
01:08:47,320 --> 01:08:50,230
exploration to take or at least offer.

2579
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:52,043
either way I say pump the brakes a

2580
01:08:52,043 --> 01:08:54,383
little, maybe reset some dates if you can.

2581
01:08:54,610 --> 01:08:55,900
I know that's a pain in the butt.

2582
01:08:55,900 --> 01:08:56,290
I know.

2583
01:08:56,290 --> 01:08:57,250
But so is dealing with

2584
01:08:57,250 --> 01:08:58,180
these people forever.

2585
01:08:58,440 --> 01:09:00,710
this is the only like hard and fast

2586
01:09:00,710 --> 01:09:02,540
advice I give to just about anyone.

2587
01:09:02,865 --> 01:09:04,760
The way relationships begin,

2588
01:09:05,061 --> 01:09:06,923
typically the way they continue.

2589
01:09:07,323 --> 01:09:07,923
Mm-hmm.

2590
01:09:08,201 --> 01:09:09,300
And I mean that with everything,

2591
01:09:09,300 --> 01:09:11,048
with business, if you start

2592
01:09:11,048 --> 01:09:13,178
having to chase a client, you

2593
01:09:13,178 --> 01:09:13,783
don't have to keep chasing them.

2594
01:09:14,298 --> 01:09:15,660
And yeah, that may be great for

2595
01:09:15,660 --> 01:09:17,370
the once every five year payoff,

2596
01:09:17,686 --> 01:09:19,390
for that one really big event.

2597
01:09:19,390 --> 01:09:20,230
they book you for.

2598
01:09:20,523 --> 01:09:22,916
but you're gonna be best off with

2599
01:09:22,916 --> 01:09:25,210
a client that will meet you on even

2600
01:09:25,210 --> 01:09:26,893
playing field and wants to work with

2601
01:09:26,893 --> 01:09:28,513
you as much as you wanna work with them.

2602
01:09:28,826 --> 01:09:29,236
Mm-hmm.

2603
01:09:29,242 --> 01:09:29,381
It's

2604
01:09:29,386 --> 01:09:30,916
the same with romantic relationships.

2605
01:09:30,916 --> 01:09:32,206
If you have to keep chasing and

2606
01:09:32,206 --> 01:09:34,696
keep texting and keep doing all this

2607
01:09:34,986 --> 01:09:35,196
mm-hmm.

2608
01:09:35,286 --> 01:09:36,666
You have to keep doing that Doesn't

2609
01:09:36,666 --> 01:09:38,253
sound like, this person has that with

2610
01:09:38,253 --> 01:09:40,383
their fiance, but they definitely

2611
01:09:40,383 --> 01:09:42,560
have it with the parent and that

2612
01:09:42,560 --> 01:09:45,553
is the one risk of doing this.

2613
01:09:45,943 --> 01:09:46,243
Yeah.

2614
01:09:46,430 --> 01:09:49,573
not to say toxic cycles can't be broken

2615
01:09:49,833 --> 01:09:51,553
and relationships can't be fixed.

2616
01:09:52,010 --> 01:09:53,153
They absolutely can.

2617
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:56,043
But just typically, typically as a

2618
01:09:56,043 --> 01:09:59,090
general rule, even if the two, her and

2619
01:09:59,090 --> 01:10:00,950
the mom-in-law become bosom buddies

2620
01:10:00,950 --> 01:10:03,660
in 10, 15, 20 years, there's still

2621
01:10:03,660 --> 01:10:05,520
gonna probably be some form of tension.

2622
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:06,810
It's just shifted somewhere else.

2623
01:10:06,810 --> 01:10:06,960
Like

2624
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:07,770
hierarchy

2625
01:10:07,770 --> 01:10:08,190
or something?

2626
01:10:08,190 --> 01:10:08,460
Yeah.

2627
01:10:08,460 --> 01:10:09,420
Hierarchy or something.

2628
01:10:10,093 --> 01:10:12,593
So you gotta decide if it's worth

2629
01:10:12,593 --> 01:10:15,253
playing Their hierarchy game mm-hmm.

2630
01:10:15,493 --> 01:10:16,543
For your husband.

2631
01:10:16,753 --> 01:10:18,163
it sounds like the husband is so

2632
01:10:18,163 --> 01:10:19,693
ingrained in it, he's probably

2633
01:10:19,693 --> 01:10:21,493
not going to notice any of it.

2634
01:10:21,493 --> 01:10:21,553
Yeah.

2635
01:10:21,893 --> 01:10:24,503
he's probably not gonna go no

2636
01:10:24,503 --> 01:10:26,153
contact or anything like that.

2637
01:10:26,153 --> 01:10:27,626
I know there's, that's a whole

2638
01:10:27,626 --> 01:10:29,216
other discussion of everything.

2639
01:10:29,216 --> 01:10:29,486
Yeah.

2640
01:10:29,486 --> 01:10:29,576
Whole.

2641
01:10:29,760 --> 01:10:32,366
I also have the opposite advice, which

2642
01:10:32,846 --> 01:10:36,186
may be just as crazy, but may work.

2643
01:10:36,616 --> 01:10:38,120
get a prenup and elope.

2644
01:10:39,563 --> 01:10:41,068
Get a prenup elope.

2645
01:10:41,353 --> 01:10:42,178
It's done.

2646
01:10:42,476 --> 01:10:44,623
Now it's just, do you wanna celebrate

2647
01:10:45,043 --> 01:10:46,693
us and this new chapter of our lives,

2648
01:10:47,473 --> 01:10:47,923
yeah.

2649
01:10:47,928 --> 01:10:49,453
there's gotta be some level of hard

2650
01:10:49,453 --> 01:10:51,753
reset, whether it's eloping, whether it's

2651
01:10:51,753 --> 01:10:54,500
working, whether it's, I think that's the

2652
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:55,820
common thread of all these things that are

2653
01:10:55,820 --> 01:10:57,170
coming to me, which is I think there needs

2654
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,810
to be some level needs of hard reset.

2655
01:11:00,216 --> 01:11:01,086
That you have to do.

2656
01:11:01,086 --> 01:11:03,020
You can't expect the fiance, the

2657
01:11:03,320 --> 01:11:05,986
husband, the son, be a part of.

2658
01:11:06,290 --> 01:11:07,790
when you do any of those things,

2659
01:11:08,016 --> 01:11:09,540
I feel like it kind of takes

2660
01:11:09,540 --> 01:11:11,430
care of all the other stuff.

2661
01:11:11,660 --> 01:11:11,733
Mm-hmm.

2662
01:11:12,003 --> 01:11:14,873
And means yes, you do have to, in some

2663
01:11:14,873 --> 01:11:17,863
ways start over, but you know more of

2664
01:11:17,863 --> 01:11:19,506
what you're getting into and you at least

2665
01:11:19,746 --> 01:11:20,886
You know, the game you're playing

2666
01:11:20,946 --> 01:11:22,856
too, at this point it sounds like

2667
01:11:22,946 --> 01:11:23,996
they're really trying hard to play

2668
01:11:23,996 --> 01:11:26,006
chess and the mother-in-law is the

2669
01:11:26,006 --> 01:11:27,656
pigeon walking around, crapping on the

2670
01:11:27,656 --> 01:11:29,156
board and strutting like it's winning.

2671
01:11:29,480 --> 01:11:29,780
Yeah.

2672
01:11:29,780 --> 01:11:29,840
So

2673
01:11:30,260 --> 01:11:32,546
you either gotta learn to clean it

2674
01:11:32,546 --> 01:11:35,023
up and take care of the pigeon and

2675
01:11:35,023 --> 01:11:36,763
ingratiate yourself in the culture

2676
01:11:36,950 --> 01:11:38,332
because you're not gonna teach at chess.

2677
01:11:38,332 --> 01:11:38,392
Yeah.

2678
01:11:38,785 --> 01:11:40,255
But, there's also this saying,

2679
01:11:40,305 --> 01:11:41,475
don't wrestle with a pig.

2680
01:11:41,475 --> 01:11:43,245
You both get dirty and the pig lights it.

2681
01:11:43,245 --> 01:11:43,305
Mm.

2682
01:11:43,502 --> 01:11:43,552
So

2683
01:11:44,567 --> 01:11:44,787
it

2684
01:11:44,792 --> 01:11:45,892
sounds like she Yeah.

2685
01:11:46,222 --> 01:11:48,022
She gets mad when they like peace.

2686
01:11:48,382 --> 01:11:48,742
Yes.

2687
01:11:48,812 --> 01:11:50,822
you can't go in wanting to like beat

2688
01:11:50,822 --> 01:11:52,262
them at their own game or something

2689
01:11:52,262 --> 01:11:54,452
like that if you are going to work

2690
01:11:54,452 --> 01:11:56,342
or elope or any of that stuff.

2691
01:11:56,642 --> 01:11:58,212
It's all gotta be from a standpoint

2692
01:11:58,212 --> 01:12:00,552
of, look, all has the thing of this

2693
01:12:00,552 --> 01:12:02,622
is happening, let's do a hard reset.

2694
01:12:03,072 --> 01:12:03,282
Mm-hmm.

2695
01:12:03,852 --> 01:12:05,412
You have too much in the way

2696
01:12:05,412 --> 01:12:06,582
of what you think about me

2697
01:12:06,582 --> 01:12:08,112
rather than actually knowing me.

2698
01:12:08,472 --> 01:12:09,192
So yeah.

2699
01:12:09,592 --> 01:12:10,492
' cause nine times outta

2700
01:12:10,492 --> 01:12:12,029
10, like there's a reason.

2701
01:12:12,029 --> 01:12:14,095
This is romantic comedy or romcom or

2702
01:12:14,095 --> 01:12:15,595
chick flick or whatever you wanna call it.

2703
01:12:15,769 --> 01:12:17,059
so many plots where

2704
01:12:17,059 --> 01:12:18,325
it's what's the secret?

2705
01:12:18,355 --> 01:12:20,035
Oh, do a girl's trip and at the end,

2706
01:12:20,035 --> 01:12:21,715
after they've had it all out and had

2707
01:12:21,715 --> 01:12:23,275
their really big thing, they're now best

2708
01:12:23,275 --> 01:12:24,775
friends, you know, and make it time,

2709
01:12:24,989 --> 01:12:26,432
just in time for the wedding, yada yada.

2710
01:12:26,432 --> 01:12:26,642
Yeah.

2711
01:12:26,952 --> 01:12:27,942
but there's a grain of truth

2712
01:12:27,942 --> 01:12:28,847
to that, like, you know, yeah.

2713
01:12:29,202 --> 01:12:31,435
there's something and I don't think

2714
01:12:31,435 --> 01:12:33,775
the mom's going to give any of that.

2715
01:12:33,775 --> 01:12:35,512
You gotta either, again,

2716
01:12:35,572 --> 01:12:37,102
clean slate, Hey, it's done.

2717
01:12:37,132 --> 01:12:38,092
Now we're just having the

2718
01:12:38,092 --> 01:12:40,289
celebration And it's up to you

2719
01:12:40,289 --> 01:12:41,159
if you wanna be a part of it.

2720
01:12:41,399 --> 01:12:42,689
Here's my thought, so

2721
01:12:42,989 --> 01:12:43,739
I'd love to hear your thought.

2722
01:12:43,739 --> 01:12:44,699
I agree with you.

2723
01:12:44,699 --> 01:12:47,099
Where like people like that kinda

2724
01:12:47,099 --> 01:12:48,539
want the game and once you kind of

2725
01:12:48,539 --> 01:12:49,559
give a little bit, they're gonna

2726
01:12:49,559 --> 01:12:51,059
take as much as they can and they're

2727
01:12:51,059 --> 01:12:52,259
gonna always have that hierarchy.

2728
01:12:52,499 --> 01:12:54,552
It's like that quote of like, what is it?

2729
01:12:54,612 --> 01:12:55,392
I'm gonna mess it up.

2730
01:12:55,392 --> 01:12:56,262
It's like, give an inch.

2731
01:12:56,322 --> 01:12:57,612
They take a mile or whatever.

2732
01:12:57,612 --> 01:12:58,932
It's like they're gonna keep going.

2733
01:12:59,242 --> 01:13:00,682
So maybe it's, 'cause I've read some

2734
01:13:00,682 --> 01:13:02,062
of these stories, I feel like you

2735
01:13:02,062 --> 01:13:04,282
need to, one, I think it needs to be

2736
01:13:04,282 --> 01:13:06,382
the fiance that puts his foot down.

2737
01:13:06,639 --> 01:13:07,839
It can't be you because

2738
01:13:07,839 --> 01:13:08,799
she doesn't like you.

2739
01:13:08,799 --> 01:13:09,819
And it's been very clear

2740
01:13:09,819 --> 01:13:10,629
that she doesn't like you.

2741
01:13:10,799 --> 01:13:12,835
So I think the fiance has to be the one

2742
01:13:12,835 --> 01:13:14,545
that says, this is what we're doing.

2743
01:13:14,795 --> 01:13:15,945
I'm not putting up with this

2744
01:13:15,945 --> 01:13:17,725
smack talk about my fiance.

2745
01:13:18,012 --> 01:13:19,699
and if you keep doing

2746
01:13:19,699 --> 01:13:21,169
this, we are gonna elope.

2747
01:13:21,425 --> 01:13:23,099
So if they can threaten not coming,

2748
01:13:23,189 --> 01:13:24,599
then we're gonna threaten to elope.

2749
01:13:24,809 --> 01:13:26,045
And maybe, again, I've read too many of

2750
01:13:26,045 --> 01:13:28,055
these stories and I don't know, again,

2751
01:13:28,085 --> 01:13:30,195
I haven't had this actual situation

2752
01:13:30,195 --> 01:13:32,205
or I've amazing in-laws and parents

2753
01:13:32,205 --> 01:13:33,165
that were involved in our wedding.

2754
01:13:33,165 --> 01:13:33,600
So yeah.

2755
01:13:33,959 --> 01:13:35,354
I can't say from personal experience,

2756
01:13:35,354 --> 01:13:36,794
but from reading so many of these,

2757
01:13:36,794 --> 01:13:38,429
I'm like, you don't wanna play their

2758
01:13:38,429 --> 01:13:40,469
game, but you wanna surpass their game.

2759
01:13:40,619 --> 01:13:41,189
You wanna be

2760
01:13:41,189 --> 01:13:43,445
like, that's ultimately where everything

2761
01:13:43,445 --> 01:13:45,162
I was saying was working in the company

2762
01:13:45,162 --> 01:13:47,202
is a way to surpass, like, yes, you're

2763
01:13:47,202 --> 01:13:48,582
kind of going into the game, but you're

2764
01:13:48,582 --> 01:13:50,742
surpassing the current game, basically.

2765
01:13:50,922 --> 01:13:51,342
Oh yeah.

2766
01:13:51,402 --> 01:13:52,482
You're on the next level.

2767
01:13:52,482 --> 01:13:52,752
You're like,

2768
01:13:52,752 --> 01:13:53,322
I'm already up.

2769
01:13:53,327 --> 01:13:54,012
You're you're getting around

2770
01:13:54,012 --> 01:13:56,202
that to get directly into

2771
01:13:56,472 --> 01:13:56,832
Yeah.

2772
01:13:57,012 --> 01:13:57,492
The family.

2773
01:13:57,803 --> 01:13:58,242
Um, Sean,

2774
01:13:58,242 --> 01:13:59,112
you're not an amateur.

2775
01:13:59,112 --> 01:14:00,102
You're, you're, you're

2776
01:14:00,102 --> 01:14:01,512
surpassing all their game.

2777
01:14:01,512 --> 01:14:03,162
and I do agree with you, no matter which,

2778
01:14:03,765 --> 01:14:05,652
if you go any of these routes, definitely.

2779
01:14:05,652 --> 01:14:06,432
I think it does have to be

2780
01:14:06,432 --> 01:14:07,482
the husband who says, look.

2781
01:14:07,899 --> 01:14:08,945
this is how it's gonna be, then we're

2782
01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,685
gonna elope, and then you can decide if

2783
01:14:10,685 --> 01:14:11,972
you wanna be a part of our wedding, you

2784
01:14:11,972 --> 01:14:13,502
know, celebrate that after the fact.

2785
01:14:13,502 --> 01:14:13,592
Mm-hmm.

2786
01:14:13,782 --> 01:14:15,455
I feel like then when they get kind of

2787
01:14:15,455 --> 01:14:17,169
like, they try it again, they're like, oh,

2788
01:14:17,169 --> 01:14:18,909
we actually already booked this a place.

2789
01:14:19,179 --> 01:14:19,509
So,

2790
01:14:19,869 --> 01:14:20,499
yeah, exactly.

2791
01:14:20,499 --> 01:14:20,889
Exactly.

2792
01:14:20,889 --> 01:14:21,772
You know, well then that's

2793
01:14:21,772 --> 01:14:22,522
the other thing too.

2794
01:14:22,559 --> 01:14:23,489
the next thing I think you're right,

2795
01:14:23,489 --> 01:14:24,869
has to be the fiance saying that,

2796
01:14:24,869 --> 01:14:26,565
but I think she has to be there too.

2797
01:14:26,565 --> 01:14:28,279
It has to be the two of you no

2798
01:14:28,279 --> 01:14:29,869
more, no more him going by himself.

2799
01:14:29,899 --> 01:14:30,199
Yes.

2800
01:14:30,679 --> 01:14:31,879
You're, you are direct, double

2801
01:14:32,109 --> 01:14:33,762
Now, final thing too, 'cause again,

2802
01:14:33,762 --> 01:14:36,422
you have, a great situation with

2803
01:14:36,452 --> 01:14:37,772
your family and your in-laws.

2804
01:14:38,052 --> 01:14:39,889
again, I'll get to my full wedding story

2805
01:14:39,889 --> 01:14:42,572
in a moment, but, I always tell people

2806
01:14:42,572 --> 01:14:44,252
when it comes to, like my wife and I, we

2807
01:14:44,252 --> 01:14:45,829
just, we've been together a decade now.

2808
01:14:46,052 --> 01:14:47,509
I always say that I think it was

2809
01:14:47,509 --> 01:14:48,889
Bo Burnham who talked about this,

2810
01:14:48,889 --> 01:14:51,302
but like, we are lottery winners.

2811
01:14:51,512 --> 01:14:54,722
People are coming to for financial advice.

2812
01:14:55,085 --> 01:14:56,055
we can't just be like,

2813
01:14:56,085 --> 01:14:57,345
oh, buy Powerball tickets.

2814
01:14:57,345 --> 01:14:58,455
It clearly works.

2815
01:14:58,719 --> 01:14:59,865
we've got someone who like

2816
01:14:59,865 --> 01:15:01,695
came with not a lot of drama.

2817
01:15:01,975 --> 01:15:04,229
there is like that aspect of it.

2818
01:15:04,229 --> 01:15:05,099
Yes, of course.

2819
01:15:05,369 --> 01:15:07,072
but I do think there's an

2820
01:15:07,500 --> 01:15:09,185
opportunity to have a different

2821
01:15:09,185 --> 01:15:10,715
perspective on this all of course.

2822
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:11,375
And everything.

2823
01:15:11,375 --> 01:15:13,069
And, sometimes you just know, I think

2824
01:15:13,069 --> 01:15:14,639
the two of them together, he needs to

2825
01:15:14,639 --> 01:15:15,899
tell them, but she needs to be there.

2826
01:15:15,899 --> 01:15:18,120
It can't be another, maybe just two to

2827
01:15:18,120 --> 01:15:20,726
four hour conversations about Christmas

2828
01:15:20,726 --> 01:15:22,356
and everything that is your life now.

2829
01:15:22,770 --> 01:15:24,630
I think talking to the husband or

2830
01:15:24,640 --> 01:15:26,550
fiance saying like, Hey, this may

2831
01:15:26,550 --> 01:15:28,350
be how it is for a very long time.

2832
01:15:28,611 --> 01:15:30,278
If this does not change,

2833
01:15:30,578 --> 01:15:32,108
what's the game plan?

2834
01:15:32,228 --> 01:15:32,978
What is, yeah.

2835
01:15:33,518 --> 01:15:35,048
Because you can't just expect

2836
01:15:35,048 --> 01:15:36,758
it's going to be better one day.

2837
01:15:37,085 --> 01:15:38,201
they need to work with you on that.

2838
01:15:38,538 --> 01:15:40,578
anyways, that's, my final that's on that.

2839
01:15:40,578 --> 01:15:40,758
Good

2840
01:15:40,758 --> 01:15:41,328
advice.

2841
01:15:41,358 --> 01:15:41,628
Okay.

2842
01:15:41,658 --> 01:15:44,631
So I got married on Friday

2843
01:15:44,631 --> 01:15:47,735
the 13th in November of 2020.

2844
01:15:48,141 --> 01:15:48,681
Whoa.

2845
01:15:48,741 --> 01:15:48,981
Okay.

2846
01:15:49,281 --> 01:15:51,838
So, and on purpose too, this was not

2847
01:15:51,838 --> 01:15:53,608
cancellation, this is not reschedule.

2848
01:15:53,845 --> 01:15:55,691
So we got engaged, we had been

2849
01:15:55,691 --> 01:15:56,801
together and living together for a

2850
01:15:56,801 --> 01:15:59,098
few years and we had gotten engaged,

2851
01:15:59,295 --> 01:16:01,851
day after Christmas in 2019 in Hawaii.

2852
01:16:02,105 --> 01:16:04,078
So like we came home after New Year's

2853
01:16:04,078 --> 01:16:05,915
and we were engaged and we initially

2854
01:16:05,915 --> 01:16:08,461
talked about a longer engagement

2855
01:16:08,461 --> 01:16:09,871
'cause we were already living together.

2856
01:16:09,871 --> 01:16:11,881
We wanted to take some time and plan.

2857
01:16:12,175 --> 01:16:13,225
Then COVID hit.

2858
01:16:13,698 --> 01:16:15,888
I am an independent sole proprietor,

2859
01:16:15,888 --> 01:16:17,268
small business owner, independent

2860
01:16:17,268 --> 01:16:19,305
artist, insurance, all that.

2861
01:16:19,555 --> 01:16:21,505
so being on her insurance would

2862
01:16:21,505 --> 01:16:23,718
be the better call also, without

2863
01:16:23,718 --> 01:16:25,248
getting too much into that.

2864
01:16:25,248 --> 01:16:27,898
And, my late mothers will just say

2865
01:16:27,898 --> 01:16:29,878
religious and political affiliations.

2866
01:16:30,158 --> 01:16:32,901
If I were in the hospital, I would

2867
01:16:32,901 --> 01:16:36,051
want my wife, Lindsay to be in

2868
01:16:36,051 --> 01:16:37,911
charge of making those decisions.

2869
01:16:38,231 --> 01:16:38,985
Not my mom.

2870
01:16:38,985 --> 01:16:40,335
And my mom is no longer with

2871
01:16:40,335 --> 01:16:41,725
us, but, that's a whole other

2872
01:16:41,725 --> 01:16:42,955
conversation for another podcast.

2873
01:16:43,323 --> 01:16:45,176
But at the time she was alive and

2874
01:16:45,176 --> 01:16:46,780
I was like, no, I don't when I

2875
01:16:46,780 --> 01:16:48,400
told that to Lindsay, she was like,

2876
01:16:48,670 --> 01:16:50,650
oh, we should do this like soon.

2877
01:16:50,965 --> 01:16:51,193
Mm-hmm.

2878
01:16:51,578 --> 01:16:54,033
And we realized, oh my gosh,

2879
01:16:54,243 --> 01:16:55,323
like there's all these social

2880
01:16:55,323 --> 01:16:56,553
distance weddings happening.

2881
01:16:57,172 --> 01:16:57,201
And.

2882
01:16:58,276 --> 01:16:59,776
we looked at a few venues and stuff,

2883
01:17:00,040 --> 01:17:01,226
but turns off, if you wanna get married

2884
01:17:01,226 --> 01:17:03,476
on Friday the 13th, during a pandemic,

2885
01:17:05,396 --> 01:17:08,486
you get it's open deals, you get deals.

2886
01:17:08,486 --> 01:17:11,226
We got the Grand Geneva for a deal.

2887
01:17:11,473 --> 01:17:12,993
and we had the dinner, at

2888
01:17:12,993 --> 01:17:14,313
individual tables downstairs.

2889
01:17:14,313 --> 01:17:15,843
It was less than 20 people.

2890
01:17:16,073 --> 01:17:18,136
it was us our parents.

2891
01:17:18,136 --> 01:17:19,846
My best friend officiated the wedding.

2892
01:17:20,086 --> 01:17:21,556
so he was able to be there.

2893
01:17:21,790 --> 01:17:23,510
I had three out of four grandparents

2894
01:17:23,510 --> 01:17:25,000
still alive at that point, and

2895
01:17:25,000 --> 01:17:27,053
she had one, still alive, so

2896
01:17:27,053 --> 01:17:29,693
they all got to be there a bit.

2897
01:17:30,053 --> 01:17:31,350
and I was like, oh, we're

2898
01:17:31,350 --> 01:17:32,460
getting married Friday the 13th.

2899
01:17:32,465 --> 01:17:33,120
Ha ha ha.

2900
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:34,020
We're tempting fate.

2901
01:17:34,243 --> 01:17:34,663
yeah.

2902
01:17:34,663 --> 01:17:35,623
three weeks before the

2903
01:17:35,623 --> 01:17:36,373
wedding we got COVID.

2904
01:17:37,588 --> 01:17:38,698
Oh no,

2905
01:17:38,698 --> 01:17:40,558
it was right on the cusp, like literally

2906
01:17:40,558 --> 01:17:42,628
like five days before the wedding was

2907
01:17:42,628 --> 01:17:45,178
when we were like no longer contagious.

2908
01:17:45,328 --> 01:17:45,358
Oh

2909
01:17:45,658 --> 01:17:46,108
my gosh.

2910
01:17:46,108 --> 01:17:47,398
You're like counting the days.

2911
01:17:47,968 --> 01:17:49,288
We were, we were, and we were just

2912
01:17:49,288 --> 01:17:50,548
worried like, oh my God, are we

2913
01:17:50,548 --> 01:17:51,778
gonna be able to taste the food?

2914
01:17:52,073 --> 01:17:53,393
we were still worried about it.

2915
01:17:53,633 --> 01:17:55,520
but yeah, but like when people say,

2916
01:17:55,520 --> 01:17:56,750
oh, you got married on Friday the

2917
01:17:56,750 --> 01:17:58,160
13th, that's very on brand for you.

2918
01:17:58,160 --> 01:17:59,943
And I say, yeah, in 2020.

2919
01:17:59,943 --> 01:18:00,033
Well,

2920
01:18:01,143 --> 01:18:01,623
they're like, wait,

2921
01:18:02,133 --> 01:18:03,033
yeah, in November.

2922
01:18:03,153 --> 01:18:04,103
Oh, oh

2923
01:18:04,103 --> 01:18:04,618
my gosh.

2924
01:18:05,003 --> 01:18:05,813
Got a heck of a deal.

2925
01:18:07,436 --> 01:18:09,085
since then, her younger sister got

2926
01:18:09,085 --> 01:18:13,061
married and my parents-in-law, have

2927
01:18:13,061 --> 01:18:14,711
said several times, both during the

2928
01:18:14,711 --> 01:18:16,628
planning, before, during and after.

2929
01:18:16,958 --> 01:18:18,008
You two did it the right way.

2930
01:18:20,128 --> 01:18:20,888
that's all they said.

2931
01:18:20,888 --> 01:18:22,058
And I was like, all right, good.

2932
01:18:22,478 --> 01:18:22,838
All right.

2933
01:18:25,165 --> 01:18:25,643
I love it.

2934
01:18:25,938 --> 01:18:27,120
Okay, so I know we're kind of

2935
01:18:27,120 --> 01:18:28,200
running outta time, but I know

2936
01:18:28,200 --> 01:18:30,055
you wanted to do another little

2937
01:18:30,395 --> 01:18:31,470
mental do this.

2938
01:18:31,728 --> 01:18:33,348
it's not so much mind reading, more so

2939
01:18:33,348 --> 01:18:35,903
kind of a mystical guided visualization,

2940
01:18:36,176 --> 01:18:38,066
that everyone can, play along with.

2941
01:18:38,316 --> 01:18:39,696
it really accesses, the

2942
01:18:39,696 --> 01:18:41,316
imagination and so forth.

2943
01:18:41,316 --> 01:18:42,576
And at the end, I'll kind of tell you

2944
01:18:42,626 --> 01:18:44,216
the hidden meaning behind all of it.

2945
01:18:44,646 --> 01:18:45,853
it's a way to connect, not even

2946
01:18:45,853 --> 01:18:47,653
really with me, but with yourself Now.

2947
01:18:47,936 --> 01:18:49,766
just a couple other quick things too.

2948
01:18:49,816 --> 01:18:51,620
number one, I'm not gonna try

2949
01:18:51,620 --> 01:18:53,030
to guess like anyone's pin

2950
01:18:53,030 --> 01:18:54,260
code or anything through this.

2951
01:18:54,530 --> 01:18:55,610
No one's gonna be hypnotized

2952
01:18:55,610 --> 01:18:56,300
or anything like that.

2953
01:18:56,300 --> 01:18:57,440
It's just a visualization.

2954
01:18:57,440 --> 01:18:58,850
So if you wanna close your eyes

2955
01:18:58,850 --> 01:19:00,240
for this, you can, Christa,

2956
01:19:00,413 --> 01:19:01,523
and Cynthia with everyone else.

2957
01:19:01,786 --> 01:19:03,443
But imagine that one day you

2958
01:19:03,443 --> 01:19:06,166
come across a secret guard, okay?

2959
01:19:06,380 --> 01:19:08,900
A wall with vines and growth around it.

2960
01:19:09,050 --> 01:19:10,786
but you find a small wooden door.

2961
01:19:11,030 --> 01:19:11,926
But to open it, you

2962
01:19:11,926 --> 01:19:13,576
need the key of virtue.

2963
01:19:13,890 --> 01:19:14,010
Mm-hmm.

2964
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:16,140
So I'm gonna list off some positive

2965
01:19:16,140 --> 01:19:17,880
virtues and character traits.

2966
01:19:18,143 --> 01:19:19,810
You don't have to remember all of them.

2967
01:19:20,040 --> 01:19:21,646
Just remember one that you see

2968
01:19:21,646 --> 01:19:23,386
in yourself and see in others.

2969
01:19:23,476 --> 01:19:23,926
Ready?

2970
01:19:24,440 --> 01:19:24,800
Okay.

2971
01:19:25,063 --> 01:19:25,700
So here we go.

2972
01:19:25,760 --> 01:19:27,770
Remember one of these, we've got strength

2973
01:19:28,370 --> 01:19:34,820
tolerance, wit bravery, youth sincerity,

2974
01:19:35,300 --> 01:19:41,135
tenacity, wisdom, balance, sensitivity.

2975
01:19:41,810 --> 01:19:42,933
remember one of those?

2976
01:19:43,485 --> 01:19:43,686
Yep.

2977
01:19:43,716 --> 01:19:43,956
Okay.

2978
01:19:43,956 --> 01:19:44,796
Everyone else remember

2979
01:19:44,796 --> 01:19:46,116
one, concentrate on it.

2980
01:19:46,486 --> 01:19:48,545
and suddenly a beam of light

2981
01:19:48,545 --> 01:19:49,715
comes down from the heavens.

2982
01:19:49,715 --> 01:19:52,295
And in this beam is the key to this door.

2983
01:19:52,468 --> 01:19:54,158
And the head of the key is the

2984
01:19:54,158 --> 01:19:56,535
first letter of your virtue or

2985
01:19:56,535 --> 01:19:57,735
character trait that you're,

2986
01:19:57,765 --> 01:19:59,385
thinking of that you saw in yourself.

2987
01:19:59,858 --> 01:20:01,918
So imagine you grab that key, feel the

2988
01:20:01,918 --> 01:20:04,088
warmth of the light shining, as you

2989
01:20:04,339 --> 01:20:07,485
put it in the lock, and slowly open

2990
01:20:07,485 --> 01:20:09,681
the door and enter the secret garden.

2991
01:20:10,081 --> 01:20:11,818
It's beautiful, the plants,

2992
01:20:11,848 --> 01:20:13,648
the wildlife, the trees.

2993
01:20:14,105 --> 01:20:15,485
However, in the center of this

2994
01:20:15,485 --> 01:20:17,165
garden, there's a special tree,

2995
01:20:17,461 --> 01:20:19,771
a tree that mystically has many

2996
01:20:19,771 --> 01:20:21,301
different fruits growing on it.

2997
01:20:21,788 --> 01:20:23,231
I'll tell you the names of,

2998
01:20:23,231 --> 01:20:24,288
all of the fruits in a moment.

2999
01:20:24,790 --> 01:20:27,831
Now, one of these names has the

3000
01:20:27,831 --> 01:20:30,765
letter from your key in its name.

3001
01:20:31,155 --> 01:20:31,665
Okay?

3002
01:20:32,010 --> 01:20:34,395
Now that letter might not be the

3003
01:20:34,395 --> 01:20:36,238
first letter in the fruit's name.

3004
01:20:36,550 --> 01:20:38,650
Your letter might be in the middle or all

3005
01:20:38,650 --> 01:20:40,973
the way at the end of the fruit's name.

3006
01:20:41,093 --> 01:20:41,543
Okay?

3007
01:20:41,843 --> 01:20:44,263
So stay alert and remember the fruit

3008
01:20:44,263 --> 01:20:46,183
that has your letter in the name.

3009
01:20:46,506 --> 01:20:47,046
Here we go.

3010
01:20:47,676 --> 01:20:52,613
Apple peach, strawberry, pineapple,

3011
01:20:52,613 --> 01:20:57,713
lemon, lime, grape, pear, orange, plum.

3012
01:20:58,310 --> 01:20:59,166
Remember your fruit.

3013
01:20:59,843 --> 01:21:00,293
Okay.

3014
01:21:00,683 --> 01:21:02,313
And imagine you can reach up

3015
01:21:02,313 --> 01:21:04,023
and pluck it from the tree.

3016
01:21:04,380 --> 01:21:06,200
Feel it in your hands, and

3017
01:21:06,200 --> 01:21:08,180
take a big bite of that fruit.

3018
01:21:08,463 --> 01:21:11,313
And imagine it's sweetness, it's texture,

3019
01:21:11,580 --> 01:21:15,740
it's color, it's bright red color.

3020
01:21:16,126 --> 01:21:18,306
Because if you've listened properly

3021
01:21:18,306 --> 01:21:19,626
and have been properly guided

3022
01:21:19,626 --> 01:21:21,456
during this visualization, you

3023
01:21:21,456 --> 01:21:23,406
should be imagining a strawberry.

3024
01:21:24,126 --> 01:21:24,246
Yeah.

3025
01:21:25,551 --> 01:21:26,241
Yes.

3026
01:21:26,416 --> 01:21:26,721
Yes.

3027
01:21:26,721 --> 01:21:28,448
And people can, let us know if they

3028
01:21:28,448 --> 01:21:29,588
listened in that should have worked with

3029
01:21:29,588 --> 01:21:32,128
them again, message you on Facebook.

3030
01:21:32,128 --> 01:21:34,198
Leave a comment, message us on Instagram.

3031
01:21:34,198 --> 01:21:35,765
I'm at Joe Diamond Live on all

3032
01:21:35,765 --> 01:21:37,641
Instagram and, social medias.

3033
01:21:38,020 --> 01:21:38,933
Let us know if it worked.

3034
01:21:39,040 --> 01:21:39,806
Yeah, and also share

3035
01:21:39,806 --> 01:21:40,646
this with a friend too.

3036
01:21:40,646 --> 01:21:41,516
See if it works on them.

3037
01:21:41,936 --> 01:21:42,326
Yeah.

3038
01:21:42,326 --> 01:21:43,046
That's wild.

3039
01:21:43,323 --> 01:21:44,973
we'll do like the clip on Instagram and

3040
01:21:44,973 --> 01:21:46,173
then we'll share it on YouTube as well,

3041
01:21:46,173 --> 01:21:47,993
so people can comment and we'll tag you so

3042
01:21:47,993 --> 01:21:49,793
they can, it can be on your page as well.

3043
01:21:50,143 --> 01:21:50,903
No, that's awesome.

3044
01:21:50,903 --> 01:21:53,393
That, that's a wild exercise.

3045
01:21:53,693 --> 01:21:53,993
Yeah.

3046
01:21:54,083 --> 01:21:54,233
Yeah.

3047
01:21:55,206 --> 01:21:55,603
Awesome.

3048
01:21:55,603 --> 01:21:56,503
Well, thank you so much

3049
01:21:56,503 --> 01:21:57,493
for coming on today.

3050
01:21:57,493 --> 01:21:59,365
It was so nice meeting you and Oh, nice.

3051
01:21:59,385 --> 01:22:00,915
And hearing about your journey.

3052
01:22:01,210 --> 01:22:02,553
And yes, hearing your, stories

3053
01:22:02,553 --> 01:22:03,573
and everything on the podcast

3054
01:22:03,573 --> 01:22:04,986
too have been great as well.

3055
01:22:05,090 --> 01:22:07,220
so I'm glad we finally able we're to

3056
01:22:07,220 --> 01:22:09,000
connect and make this happen, so yeah.

3057
01:22:09,000 --> 01:22:09,010
Yeah.

3058
01:22:09,405 --> 01:22:10,005
This is great.

3059
01:22:10,155 --> 01:22:11,145
Thanks so much.