<v Speaker 1>Welcome to But I'm a Lesbian, the podcast where we

<v Speaker 1>serve all batty SaaS, queer film reviews, and everything in between.

<v Speaker 2>Whether you are a baby gay or a queer elder,

<v Speaker 2>we're here, We're queer, and we're diving deep into all

<v Speaker 2>things lesbian.

<v Speaker 1>We're your hosts, Caitlin and Angelina.

<v Speaker 2>Get ready for some sapphic seratonin. Okay, Today we are

<v Speaker 2>discussing a lesbian country music New Year's Eve movie called

<v Speaker 2>I Hate New Year's. I'm really glad that New Year's

<v Speaker 2>is in the title because we were like searching for

<v Speaker 2>We're like, are there any lesbian New Year's movies? And

<v Speaker 2>we looked it up and it was like literally here,

<v Speaker 2>it's like nice. Okay. So this movie stars Dia Frampton,

<v Speaker 2>Ashley Area, and Candice Kane and it was made by Tello,

<v Speaker 2>which if you haven't heard of it, it's kind of

<v Speaker 2>like Netflix, but it's like all lesbian stuff. So since

<v Speaker 2>we're in the New Year's spirit, I mean, I have

<v Speaker 2>my Happy New Year little headband hat and if you're

<v Speaker 2>not on YouTube, you won't see it, but Angelina has one. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>and it's very special because the R fell off, so

<v Speaker 2>it says.

<v Speaker 1>Happy New Yeah, new yeah, which is what we all

<v Speaker 1>should be filling when we get into there's happy New Year's.

<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to tell you New Years and we

<v Speaker 1>say happy new yeah. Yeah, that's yeah, that's all we

<v Speaker 1>have to do the.

<v Speaker 2>Energy we're bringing into twenty twenty six. So I wanted

<v Speaker 2>to ask, like, do you do New Year's resolutions? And

<v Speaker 2>if so, are you doing any this year? Yes?

<v Speaker 1>I always did New Year's resolutions. I would write them

<v Speaker 1>down and I would never stick to any of their

<v Speaker 1>not a single one. It could be something very simple

<v Speaker 1>is make my bet every day?

<v Speaker 2>No, do you make your bed?

<v Speaker 1>I used to make it because I don't know, I

<v Speaker 1>used to make it. I'm gonna be like, make your

<v Speaker 1>bed every day and I'm like, but I'm gonna lay

<v Speaker 1>in it again at the end of the day. But

<v Speaker 1>she said presentation matters, So I'm like, okay, girl, Now

<v Speaker 1>I don't make my better readay and she can't tell

<v Speaker 1>me to do.

<v Speaker 2>That, and I'm thankful.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he's not like make the better like she wants

<v Speaker 1>to make the bet every day either. We do it

<v Speaker 1>sometimes if obviously when it's look nice. But I'm like, anyways, no,

<v Speaker 1>I never said I'm like, are you thinking about my bed?

<v Speaker 1>And I'm like, yeah, why anyways, Yes, I've had many

<v Speaker 1>and I never stick to them, but this year is

<v Speaker 1>gonna be different.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, new year to me? Yeah yeah exactly.

<v Speaker 1>So technically if I tell myself that it's happy new

<v Speaker 1>yeah and not years, then I might be more inclined

<v Speaker 1>to stick with it.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because you have to remember it's not happy new, No,

<v Speaker 2>it's happy new yeah exactly. Yeah, I'm gonna stick to it,

<v Speaker 2>you know what. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, wish I should do that.

<v Speaker 1>You've inspired me, Caitlin, Oh my god. Okay, I'm gonna

<v Speaker 1>go home and write down all my little like resolution yes, okay.

<v Speaker 2>I do think trying to stick to like one to

<v Speaker 2>three yeah, makes it like a little more likely that

<v Speaker 2>you can stick with it. It's hard, that's true.

<v Speaker 1>If it's less then yes, But I used to do

<v Speaker 1>like a full like two pages of new things.

<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, you know, too many.

<v Speaker 1>At some point, I'm like, you gotta start making these

<v Speaker 1>changes through the year, not just all in one like time.

<v Speaker 1>But this year we are going to have rich husbands.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, which is going to be an issue for

<v Speaker 2>me because I'm already married. But I was going to

<v Speaker 2>have one too. Yes, you guys legally. I don't know

<v Speaker 2>how we do it because it would be legally actually, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>oh you know what, we can just find sugar daddies.

<v Speaker 2>I don't to get married and then that don't give

<v Speaker 2>sugar too.

<v Speaker 1>No, just write your way into that will. Yeah, if

<v Speaker 1>you're a rich man out there, your money should go

<v Speaker 1>to lesbians. I think so it's the LGBTQ plus community.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, I'm rolling with the lgbt.

<v Speaker 1>Do you have a New Year's resolution or do you

<v Speaker 1>have you done them in the past?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I was really proud of myself. You say yeah,

<v Speaker 2>I say yeah. I think yeah.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it makes me want to say yeah.

<v Speaker 2>It was like yeah. Anyway, the only New Year's resolution

<v Speaker 2>that I can remember that I actually stepped to was

<v Speaker 2>like two New years ago, I think. Okay, like New

<v Speaker 2>Year's twenty twenty four. I made my resolution that I

<v Speaker 2>was going to start reading again, and I wanted to

<v Speaker 2>read at least one book a month. And then I

<v Speaker 2>happened upon my friend who was starting a book club,

<v Speaker 2>and I was like, cool, I need to join your

<v Speaker 2>book club because that will me accountable to meet my goal.

<v Speaker 2>And now I have so I guess sort of my

<v Speaker 2>new goal is I want to instead. My goal for

<v Speaker 2>the last couple of years has been to read twelve

<v Speaker 2>books a year. This year I read sixteen, So I

<v Speaker 2>think I want to read twenty books next year. Some people,

<v Speaker 2>like my book club friend I was talking about read

<v Speaker 2>like one hundred books a year and then it's like, whoh,

<v Speaker 2>twenty big deal. But do you know why it's a

<v Speaker 2>big deal because for like ten years I didn't read

<v Speaker 2>any books a year, Like I didn't read at all,

<v Speaker 2>and I used to love reading when I was a kid. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I think, you know, what is a

<v Speaker 2>good one that I should do but I don't want

<v Speaker 2>to do? Should like make it be like that? I

<v Speaker 2>should like work out, you know, because it's like I'm

<v Speaker 2>getting older and I need to like make healthy choices.

<v Speaker 2>But I hate working now, but also like I do,

<v Speaker 2>I don't know. The other day I was feeling I

<v Speaker 2>was feeling my wife's arm and it felt really muscular,

<v Speaker 2>and I was like, oh, I'm gonna try to do this,

<v Speaker 2>and I was like I want her to be able

<v Speaker 2>to feel my muscle.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so okay, motivation.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah that's good. Yeah, So I guess I should like

<v Speaker 2>do some sort of workout, but I have to be

<v Speaker 2>like it could be like easy, because if I am like,

<v Speaker 2>oh I have to do like seventy five hard, I'm

<v Speaker 2>not gonna do it. Oh my, seventy five hard is

<v Speaker 2>really hard. Yeah. I went through a phase when I

<v Speaker 2>was like twenty three where I was doing this. It

<v Speaker 2>was called insanity if I've heard of that. Yeah, okay,

<v Speaker 2>so like P nine dyx insanity, I like almost had

<v Speaker 2>the beginning of abs, which is the only time in

<v Speaker 2>my life I've ever had that. Wo But yeah, then

<v Speaker 2>I stopped. It was too hard. It was yeah, no,

<v Speaker 2>literally sanity funny anyway. Yeah, so I don't I know

<v Speaker 2>a lot of people are like, oh, New York's resolutions

<v Speaker 2>are like bad because you're like setting yourself up for failure.

<v Speaker 2>But I think that's a really negative way to look

<v Speaker 2>at I think that it whatever it takes to inspire

<v Speaker 2>you to make a change. Okay, I don't know. I

<v Speaker 2>think yeah, when I was a kid, let me just

<v Speaker 2>tell you when I was a kid. I feel like

<v Speaker 2>we might have talked about this before on the pot,

<v Speaker 2>but I was always like a chunky kid. So every

<v Speaker 2>New Year's my resolution was to lose weight like constantly,

<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, okay, that's like now I'm like, oh wow,

<v Speaker 2>this is like diet culture.

<v Speaker 1>Like you didn't think about it then because you're just.

<v Speaker 2>Like no, I just thought that I wanted to be

<v Speaker 2>skinny like my friends or whatever. And then now I'm like,

<v Speaker 2>that's so sad that I wasted every year from being

<v Speaker 2>like six to like twenty eight to being like I'm

<v Speaker 2>gonna get ski.

<v Speaker 1>Like I hope I would you always put like did

<v Speaker 1>you tell everyone your New Year's resolutions too? Or was

<v Speaker 1>it only like for you to be like wow, this

<v Speaker 1>is my tle maybe like my mom, but like not

<v Speaker 1>other people.

<v Speaker 2>But I don't know, this is really sad. I don't

<v Speaker 2>know if anyone else did this, but now that I

<v Speaker 2>decided to talk about diet stuff. When I was a kid,

<v Speaker 2>like I had this idea in my mind of like

<v Speaker 2>the perfect body that I wanted. And also I have OCD,

<v Speaker 2>so I don't know if this is part of my OCD.

<v Speaker 2>But I remember when I would be in this shower,

<v Speaker 2>you know, when like you can like write on the

<v Speaker 2>shower door because it gets I would write like that

<v Speaker 2>I wanted to be five to two one hundred and

<v Speaker 2>twenty pounds thirty two d that's.

<v Speaker 1>What I would write, you would write your measurement.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but obviously they weren't my real measurements. They were

<v Speaker 2>the measurements I wanted to have, and I thought that

<v Speaker 2>somehow I was like gonna manifest it by that. First

<v Speaker 2>of all, I haven't been five to two since I

<v Speaker 2>was like ten, So say like, you're high, I'm not sure.

<v Speaker 1>That one kind of bed because I thought.

<v Speaker 2>Christina Aguilera had a perfect body and she.

<v Speaker 1>Works five two.

<v Speaker 2>She is five too, Yeah, but she was probably like

<v Speaker 2>one hundred pounds. But whatever. I to me, one hundred

<v Speaker 2>and twenty pounds was like the perfect weight because that's

<v Speaker 2>what my grandma weighed, and that's what she thinks everybody

<v Speaker 2>should weigh. Oh and she told you like this, like

<v Speaker 2>this is probably be like one twenty. Oh my god,

<v Speaker 2>I never And I think the last time I was

<v Speaker 2>one twenty was also when I was like eleven. I'm

<v Speaker 2>pretty sure. So anyway, I'm not making my goal anything

<v Speaker 2>about my body this year. Well, my brain it's part

<v Speaker 2>of my body sort of with knowledge.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and if you do, it's more for health, like

<v Speaker 1>you wanted to be muscular with your wife. Yes, muscular together.

<v Speaker 2>And next week we're going to talk about Love Lives

<v Speaker 2>Bleeding and.

<v Speaker 1>That I was gonna say, tell me why when y'all

<v Speaker 1>mean I watched it, I'm like, I want to work out.

<v Speaker 1>I want to be like a bodybuilder. I'm like, let's

<v Speaker 1>not shoot that high. But yeah, it was getting some

<v Speaker 1>muscle something.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, No, that's so funny because our nail our nail person, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>was like going to the gym a lot. And I

<v Speaker 2>was like, have you seen Love Lives Bleeding? And she

<v Speaker 2>was like, yeah, I feel like it partly inspired inspired

<v Speaker 2>by it because even Kristen Stewart was inspired because she

<v Speaker 2>wasn't supposed to be all like buff for the movie,

<v Speaker 2>but then she was like, well the other person's buff,

<v Speaker 2>like and I want to get buff too, So I

<v Speaker 2>don't know, I try to keep happy new. Yeah, I'm

<v Speaker 2>going to get buff.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah we're not the next time you see. Yes, we're

<v Speaker 1>gonna have muscles, like you don't know, Like we're gonna

<v Speaker 1>be gigantic.

<v Speaker 2>We have to do the like contouring like so we.

<v Speaker 1>We do like do you know that one thing that

<v Speaker 1>they put on where it's like this, it gives you like, No,

<v Speaker 1>it's almost like not like a suit, but it's like

<v Speaker 1>something you put on it gives you like a six pack,

<v Speaker 1>like the fake one, the guy.

<v Speaker 2>One that like Chris wore when Yeah, yeah, it's like

<v Speaker 2>you have like a sexy man.

<v Speaker 1>That's what we're gonna Yeah, but we can get road

<v Speaker 1>if we want. But I mean, also put a breastplate

<v Speaker 1>over it.

<v Speaker 2>It's like Jimbo, you know, giant boobs. Anyway, I'm so sorry.

<v Speaker 2>We'll talk about the movie. Do you have any hot

<v Speaker 2>takes or burning desires for this movie?

<v Speaker 1>I don't know. If it's a hot take, it's okay,

<v Speaker 1>it doesn't.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

<v Speaker 1>I'm I just maybe a comment even is like the

<v Speaker 1>movie wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either, And I

<v Speaker 1>feel like a lot of like the plot was super

<v Speaker 1>like I don't know, I just didn't think it went

<v Speaker 1>well together, like it felt like there were gaps in between.

<v Speaker 1>And then when they finally like got to like the

<v Speaker 1>actual like oh my god, is she or not?

<v Speaker 2>Like is she? Will she tell her.

<v Speaker 1>Feelings or not tell her feelings?

<v Speaker 2>It was so like ye, I'm like, oh really that's it.

<v Speaker 1>But it wasn't awful like, it wasn't as awful as

<v Speaker 1>some of the movies that we It was no Maggianny,

<v Speaker 1>No Maggie Nanny honestly had a better drama in it

<v Speaker 1>than this, And maybe that's what I need. Maybe I

<v Speaker 1>am the drama. What about you?

<v Speaker 2>Okay? Well I did say this, Uh, the sound was

<v Speaker 2>off and it wasn't matching their mouths on some parts,

<v Speaker 2>and I don't think it was just my TV and

<v Speaker 2>that was kind of distracting. The reason I don't think

<v Speaker 2>it was just my TV was because there were also

<v Speaker 2>parts where like they were backstage with the whole like

<v Speaker 2>band at one point, and different people's like mics seemed

<v Speaker 2>louder than other people, So there was like weird sound issues. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>and so that was unfortunate. But I mean it was

<v Speaker 2>obviously like a relatively little budget thing, so I don't

<v Speaker 2>want to like nitpick on it. It was just a

<v Speaker 2>little distracting. Yeah, But I did say some two things

<v Speaker 2>I liked about it. I love that there was no

<v Speaker 2>straight man involved and there wasn't any closet stuff because

<v Speaker 2>most movies have like, oh, someone has a boyfriend and

<v Speaker 2>they're realizing they're gay, or this person's not out like

<v Speaker 2>Happiest Season, Da Da da, and this is like I

<v Speaker 2>feel like they were all kind of out and that

<v Speaker 2>nobody had a boyfriend.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, everyone was really supposed it was there. It was

<v Speaker 1>just like normal relationship drama trying to figure out.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, which I felt was good because it was like

<v Speaker 2>that is normal, Like, yeah, gay and having regular gay

<v Speaker 2>life drama is normal. It doesn't have to involve being

<v Speaker 2>closeted or whatever. The other thing I like is that

<v Speaker 2>the main characters weren't white, because usually if you get

<v Speaker 2>especially like a mainstream gay movie, it's like Hollywood thinks, well,

<v Speaker 2>we already made them gay, we can't also make them

<v Speaker 2>not crazy. And that's why there's always like all the

<v Speaker 2>Hallmark lesbian movies, I feel like they're always are And

<v Speaker 2>then you know, like Happiest Season that was like a

<v Speaker 2>pretty like mainstream lesbian holiday film, and it's like, okay,

<v Speaker 2>everybody's white, right, So I liked that the main characters

<v Speaker 2>weren't white. Yeah, yeah, that was it. So we're gonna

<v Speaker 2>take a quick break yet, and when we get back,

<v Speaker 2>we'll get into the recap. So grab your sparkling cider

<v Speaker 2>or champagne and get ready. Welcome back to but I'm

<v Speaker 2>a lesbian. This week we're discussing I hate New Year's.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, So we both don't actually hate New Years.

<v Speaker 2>No. If we did, we wouldn't wear a cool little yeah.

<v Speaker 2>I hate New Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>So the film begins with a woman performing. I went

<v Speaker 1>ahead and said she's a pop star performing because that's

<v Speaker 1>what it looked like to me. Like she had the crowd,

<v Speaker 1>she had the lights, she had.

<v Speaker 2>The like dance move.

<v Speaker 1>So she's performing, and we learned that her name is

<v Speaker 1>Lane Price. So afterwards, she's in a car and she's

<v Speaker 1>talking to her manager, who tells her, I know you're

<v Speaker 1>not the biggest like believer in it, but I'm going

<v Speaker 1>to set you up with my psidekick that I always see.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>And she tells her manager that she will be saying

<v Speaker 1>with her friend Cassie in Nashville, Tennessee. And so she

<v Speaker 1>is in car and the guy is like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 1>are you and she's like no. But also before she's like,

<v Speaker 1>can you change the song because we gathered there. She yeah,

<v Speaker 1>she doesn't want to hear her song, and she's just like, oh, Like,

<v Speaker 1>I'm just I need to get away right now because

<v Speaker 1>she's she is having like writer's block. So she goes

<v Speaker 1>to see the psykic and she tells her like, hey,

<v Speaker 1>just let you know. I'm a skeptic and I don't

<v Speaker 1>really believe in all this, so like you don't need

<v Speaker 1>to do like your whole little like show for me.

<v Speaker 2>And the Psychic's like, girl, what are you talking about.

<v Speaker 1>She's like okay, but she starts telling her things that

<v Speaker 1>are very specific and Laine is like, well, you only

<v Speaker 1>know this because my manager Tony told you.

<v Speaker 2>And the Psychic's like, what are you talking about? My

<v Speaker 2>name is Zelena.

<v Speaker 1>And Lane is like, that's not the psychic that my

<v Speaker 1>manager always goes to.

<v Speaker 2>So we're seeing that.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's like someone unrelated obviously, and it's like knowing

<v Speaker 1>these things. But she tells her that you're going to

<v Speaker 1>Nashville and that is where you will go to love

<v Speaker 1>again and if the letter C means anything, and Lene

<v Speaker 1>is like, no, not really, like I can't think of anything. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>I'm going to Nashville and I'm going to learn to

<v Speaker 1>love again, but the letter C means nothing. So meanwhile

<v Speaker 1>she is on her way to Cassie. We see Cassie

<v Speaker 1>is like nervous and she's talking to Freddie.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know why.

<v Speaker 1>In the beginning, I thought his name was Frank until

<v Speaker 1>they said it again and I was like, okay.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I didn't even know he had a name.

<v Speaker 2>It's a man character. Oh well, he was nice. I

<v Speaker 2>didn't like him, but I didn't remember his name.

<v Speaker 1>So I went back and I'm like, what's his name,

<v Speaker 1>Freddy or Frank? Okay, but it's it's Freddie DDI yeah.

<v Speaker 1>And she's telling him like, tonight is the night I

<v Speaker 1>am going to tell Lane how I feel about her.

<v Speaker 2>And he's like, oh my.

<v Speaker 1>God, yay, Like hi, Dre, because you guys aren't leaving

<v Speaker 1>that room.

<v Speaker 2>She's like, you're right.

<v Speaker 1>So she's like getting ready and it's I think it's

<v Speaker 1>kind of cute because she's like really excited and her

<v Speaker 1>house is like really big too. She's also a musician

<v Speaker 1>as well.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>So Laane gets there and Cassie's like, oh my god, hey,

<v Speaker 1>she has wine in her hand, and she's like all

<v Speaker 1>dressed up and Lane doesn't notice, of course. She's just

<v Speaker 1>like you look cold, like you're wearing like really like

<v Speaker 1>revealing clothing. But she's like okay. So she goes to

<v Speaker 1>the guest room and is like putting her stuff down,

<v Speaker 1>and Cassie begins playing the piano and singing, and she's

<v Speaker 1>singing like a sad song, and Lane is like, who's

<v Speaker 1>that song about? Like I haven't heard that cause he's like,

<v Speaker 1>you don't really know anything about me.

<v Speaker 3>Like.

<v Speaker 2>She's very mysterious.

<v Speaker 1>She's like, oh my god, you don't really know me.

<v Speaker 1>And Lane is like, well, i'm your best friend. I

<v Speaker 1>would say I know you like pretty well. And so

<v Speaker 1>Lane starts asking her who is this song? Like who

<v Speaker 1>is this person? Like do I know them? Have you

<v Speaker 1>ever been in love? And Cassie's like, yeah, once it sucked.

<v Speaker 2>I think it's weird if they're best friends that they do.

<v Speaker 1>She doesn't you know and they've ever been in love?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah? So I'm like, girl, are you really just me?

<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Exactly, That's what I meant by the plot anyway. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>that's just one of the many things.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>And so basically Lane gives up on it because Cassie's like,

<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna tell you like you know, but she

<v Speaker 1>is like posing herself in these ways try to get

<v Speaker 1>her to like notice her, and Lane's just like, I

<v Speaker 1>need help with this song. I need I have like

<v Speaker 1>the beat Down, I just don't know the lyrics, and.

<v Speaker 2>I have the beat Down it's.

<v Speaker 1>New, yeah no, But Cassie's just there like.

<v Speaker 2>She's not really helpful, I know, and the Lane totally

<v Speaker 2>doesn't notice. I'm like, do you not notice someone?

<v Speaker 1>Right? Like, you're sitting down and you're playing your guitar

<v Speaker 1>and you're not going to hear the movement And she

<v Speaker 1>like starts choking on a grape too, So I'm like,

<v Speaker 1>how do you not hear that? So Lane and Cassie

<v Speaker 1>start like brainstorming ideas for the song because Lane is

<v Speaker 1>just like, I know the way it goes, but it's like,

<v Speaker 1>you know, no lyrics are coming to me. And so

<v Speaker 1>Cassie is also very excited to hear about what the

<v Speaker 1>psychic told Lane because she knows that Lane is a skeptic.

<v Speaker 2>But she's like, I'm interested. What did she say?

<v Speaker 1>So then Lane tells her that the psychic said she

<v Speaker 1>was going back to Nashville and the letter C and

<v Speaker 1>all this other stuff, and Cassie's like, oh my god, like.

<v Speaker 2>What could it be?

<v Speaker 1>Right? Obviously, I was like, we'll see for Cassie.

<v Speaker 2>I know if someone said something, even if I didn't

<v Speaker 2>have a crush on them, and it was like, Okay,

<v Speaker 2>I would be like, ah, that's funny because starts with O, K,

<v Speaker 2>it's not me. I'm like, it's weird that nobody is

<v Speaker 2>putting together your best friend's name starts with us.

<v Speaker 1>She's like, no one in my life is no no

<v Speaker 1>one important in my life with the sea and I'm like, oh,

<v Speaker 1>but she's looking at a picture while she was in

<v Speaker 1>the guest room of her ex girlfriend Caroline.

<v Speaker 2>So another see I know. I'm like, girl, you're just done.

<v Speaker 2>But she's she's she's.

<v Speaker 1>Very self absorbed, okay, because she doesn't notice Cassie joking

<v Speaker 1>on her grape, so she could have died. Yeah, she's

<v Speaker 1>just playing her guitar. So then Elaine is like, I'm

<v Speaker 1>beginning to think that it's Caroline because they had like

<v Speaker 1>a messy breakup. Lane broke up with her and she

<v Speaker 1>moved to La to pursue her career, and of course

<v Speaker 1>she left like everybody behind because she didn't really want

<v Speaker 1>to do like the long distance thing, so she said

<v Speaker 1>it wasn't fair. So she thinks that maybe she could

<v Speaker 1>still be in love with Caroline and she needs to

<v Speaker 1>get closure from her Kasy's like what the fuck, but okay,

<v Speaker 1>I'll help you because you're my best friend. So Freddie

<v Speaker 1>from the beginning, they go to a party that he's throwing.

<v Speaker 1>He's throwing like he's djaying two different parties, so he's

<v Speaker 1>a busy night. But he forgets his phone somehow, which

<v Speaker 1>doesn't make sense to me, but he's like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 1>I didn't know that I left to hear, and he's

<v Speaker 1>happy to see Lane, which she thinks that everyone that

<v Speaker 1>she left behind is like upset at her and they

<v Speaker 1>hate her, which is not true. But Freddie thinks that

<v Speaker 1>Cassie had already confessed her feelings for Lane, and so

<v Speaker 1>he's like, oh my god, like what are you guys

<v Speaker 1>doing here, you know, and they're like dressed up in

<v Speaker 1>their little like New Year's glasses and stuff because they

<v Speaker 1>don't want Lane to be recognized. But Lane is like,

<v Speaker 1>so I need I was hoping that you could connect

<v Speaker 1>me with Caroline again because I need to talk to her,

<v Speaker 1>and he's like what the fuck, also like okay, so

<v Speaker 1>he's like, sure, she's gonna be at one oh nine

<v Speaker 1>Plane with the band Plane, which is Lane's old band,

<v Speaker 1>and she's like, oh my God, I don't want to

<v Speaker 1>go there because they probably hate me. And Cassie's like,

<v Speaker 1>you need to grow up, Like no one hates you,

<v Speaker 1>like Friday was happy to see you. You've moved on.

<v Speaker 1>They've moved on.

<v Speaker 2>So they go over. Oh.

<v Speaker 1>Also, Cassie is a driver and that driver looks suspiciously

<v Speaker 1>like Zelena.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. What's the driver's name, uh, Marlee Marlee.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but she's Cassie's driver, and she like does like

<v Speaker 1>those little wing to the camera where she's like ha

<v Speaker 1>ha because Lane's like, you look so familiar. She's like,

<v Speaker 1>I just have one of those faces.

<v Speaker 2>She goes. She's like I can't. Yeah, She's like, I

<v Speaker 2>just have one of those faces. And so, but can

<v Speaker 2>we talk about who is playing this character? Yeah? Okay,

<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yeah, I go. So Marlee Slash Selena is

<v Speaker 2>played by Candace Kane, who is a I think that

<v Speaker 2>they still perform drags. I don't know if they I

<v Speaker 2>don't know if she ever performs drag anymore. But she

<v Speaker 2>she's a transactress. She is very beautiful. She was on

<v Speaker 2>Caitlyn Jenner's show when Caitlyn Jenner had that I Am

<v Speaker 2>Caitlyn show and they like almost dated, which was interesting,

<v Speaker 2>and I kind of think it was just for the show,

<v Speaker 2>because I think Candice Kane has better taste than a

<v Speaker 2>Republican exactly that. But also I wanted to say that

<v Speaker 2>I saw Candace Kane perform Oh my God in our

<v Speaker 2>small at a pride thing, like in twenty seventeen, twenty sixteen,

<v Speaker 2>twenty seventeen, and it was really cool, and so I

<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god, You're like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 2>I know her separation. I'm like, we're basically best friend.

<v Speaker 2>So anyway, I don't know, I just I like her,

<v Speaker 2>and I thought it was cool that she came here and.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, was like a performer, she's pretty, and you're best

<v Speaker 1>friends and we're besties.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, I don't know. I'm gonna tell you guys this

<v Speaker 2>because this is also really cool. Another time at our

<v Speaker 2>small town pride event, Sonique Kylie Sonique Love from Drag Race,

<v Speaker 2>who has now won All Stars, performed here and she's

<v Speaker 2>so beautiful and so talented, and I took a video

<v Speaker 2>of her. I was like, really close up. I took

<v Speaker 2>a video of her performing and then I tagged her

<v Speaker 2>in it, and then she messaged me and was like

<v Speaker 2>can you send me the video. And then she followed

<v Speaker 2>me for like over five years and would like my

<v Speaker 2>stuff and would talk to me about my cats. Like

<v Speaker 2>I think she thought she knew me at some point,

<v Speaker 2>like she probably forgot why she follows this random girl,

<v Speaker 2>but like we would talk sometimes, like she would comment

<v Speaker 2>on my things and I would comment back, and I

<v Speaker 2>was like, oh my god. And then I think at

<v Speaker 2>some point she realized, like I actually don't know this person,

<v Speaker 2>like around when she won All Stars and she's like,

<v Speaker 2>I'm like really famous. She unfollowed me, but I don't

<v Speaker 2>take I mean, she doesn't know me, she doesn't owe

<v Speaker 2>me anything, but I just thought it was cool.

<v Speaker 1>Well, now you have to go see her perform again

<v Speaker 1>and then start the cycle again.

<v Speaker 2>I have to get her to be on the pod.

<v Speaker 2>Do you remember me. We're best friends. We talked about

<v Speaker 2>our cats. Anyway, Okay, I'm so sorry. Tell you read

<v Speaker 2>more about Marley driving them. Your best friend was driving?

<v Speaker 2>And she.

<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, what was I saying?

<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah she was. Candice Kane is the driver.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, so she's also Zelena And so they head over to.

<v Speaker 2>The venue one O nine.

<v Speaker 1>But before at fred party, they do like a karaoke

<v Speaker 1>song of the song that she hates, Flatline Lane's song,

<v Speaker 1>and people start to recognize her and they're like, oh

<v Speaker 1>my god, Lane is here and they're posting, and her

<v Speaker 1>manager is like really pissed off at her because she's like,

<v Speaker 1>I told you.

<v Speaker 2>To lay low.

<v Speaker 1>I don't know why you're doing this, and she's like, well,

<v Speaker 1>I'm going home after, so don't worry.

<v Speaker 2>They don't.

<v Speaker 1>They go to Venue one oh nine and there we

<v Speaker 1>see her band, Lane's old band, performing and then they're like.

<v Speaker 2>Happy to see her.

<v Speaker 1>So it really was just like in her head that

<v Speaker 1>she thought that they would hate her.

<v Speaker 2>Also, they are obviously a group of lesbians. Yes, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>the band is all.

<v Speaker 1>They are all lesbians. Everyone in the movie is a lesbian,

<v Speaker 1>including Freddy probably.

<v Speaker 2>He's the least part of the Legibilqua Legibiliqua. Yes, yeah, yeah.

<v Speaker 1>So they talk and then Lane is like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 1>I have the perfect idea.

<v Speaker 2>Let's all perform together.

<v Speaker 1>So she performs with them and everyone's recording her, and

<v Speaker 1>you know, she's like, Okay, it doesn't matter if anyone

<v Speaker 1>sees me. And they get back in the car and

<v Speaker 1>they see it's like blowing up once again, and Tony

<v Speaker 1>calls and is like, oh my god, keep this up,

<v Speaker 1>because you're literally like blowing up on social media. And

<v Speaker 1>people seem to think that you and Cassie are in

<v Speaker 1>a relationship and their ship name is Lassie, you like,

<v Speaker 1>like the dog. And so Lene is starting to have

<v Speaker 1>fun and Cassie's like also having fun, and she is

<v Speaker 1>like laughing at this one clip because Lane was looking

<v Speaker 1>at her when she was singing, and she was looking

<v Speaker 1>at her like, you know, like very intently. And someone's like,

<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I knew Lassie was always real because

<v Speaker 1>look at the way Lane is looking at her. And

<v Speaker 1>then Leanne is like, oh my god, I can't believe

<v Speaker 1>people would think we're a couple. And Cassie's just like,

<v Speaker 1>oh my god, that's crazy.

<v Speaker 2>She's like I never thought about that.

<v Speaker 1>But Lene is just like anyways, she's too busy trying

<v Speaker 1>to find Carolyne. So so she's on her way to

<v Speaker 1>another place to go see Carolyn and.

<v Speaker 2>M already said that they want to play with that girl.

<v Speaker 1>No, okay, yeah, So she's so upset that she hasn't

<v Speaker 1>run into Caroline. I don't know why he wrote that twice,

<v Speaker 1>And so she's.

<v Speaker 2>Text really Aubreddy. She's really upset.

<v Speaker 1>So she's texting Freddy to see if he knows where

<v Speaker 1>Caroline's at because they're best friends. And so Cassie's like, fine,

<v Speaker 1>you know what, I just want to stop at the

<v Speaker 1>store because I'm just let me get some snacks, let

<v Speaker 1>me like do whatever. And so Laane is telling Zelena

<v Speaker 1>why she hates New Year's and basically it's like a

<v Speaker 1>bunch of like silly little things that happened to her,

<v Speaker 1>like oh, this happened to me, and that happened to me,

<v Speaker 1>and like I just hate New Years. And then Cassie's like, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>well we're gonna turn your luck around because we are

<v Speaker 1>gonna have fun and play into what Tony wants us

<v Speaker 1>to do, but we're gonna do it our way. So

<v Speaker 1>then they go all around Nashville and they're like taking

<v Speaker 1>selfies with like Elvis and like random things, and then

<v Speaker 1>they do one where Lane kisses Cassie on the cheek

<v Speaker 1>and it like blows up. People are like, oh my god, yes,

<v Speaker 1>like they're so cute, like they're a couple, and it's

<v Speaker 1>like they're still doing their little fun activities and there's

<v Speaker 1>just like posts of them.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's also to me, I was very confused because

<v Speaker 2>they made it look like every time Cassie and Lane

<v Speaker 2>took a picture, they were making a separate like Instagram

<v Speaker 2>posts for each picture, and no one does that like

<v Speaker 2>they did, I know they It was just crazy since

<v Speaker 2>I was like, who made this the somebody that's like

<v Speaker 2>doesn't ever use Instagram, because it's like, even if this

<v Speaker 2>was filmed in twenty nineteen and maybe people were not

<v Speaker 2>using stories all the time or something like, they would

<v Speaker 2>still you could still do the carousel at that time.

<v Speaker 2>So if you were going to post like ten pictures

<v Speaker 2>of you and your friend doing different things, I don't

<v Speaker 2>think you would make a separate post for each picture.

<v Speaker 2>I don't even know either. Yeah, like even back in

<v Speaker 2>my Space days, you would make an album and be

<v Speaker 2>like Friday night at blah blah blah, and you put

<v Speaker 2>it all in crazy.

<v Speaker 1>They just like so free and we're doing all these things,

<v Speaker 1>and so you know, I just thought it was I

<v Speaker 1>did think that same thing. But also the name of

<v Speaker 1>the social media like platform was snap back.

<v Speaker 2>I know. It was so funny. I was like, what, okay,

<v Speaker 2>do you remember that song? It's like snap bags and tattoos. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>I kept thinking of But yeah, I think it's so

<v Speaker 2>funny when like shows or movies make up of.

<v Speaker 1>Like the fake in whatever Instagram name things, Yeah, we're

<v Speaker 1>supposed to do.

<v Speaker 2>Like I think on SVU for MySpace they would call

<v Speaker 2>it my Room's Kid.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's better than snapback, I think, yeah.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I guess they're on snapback so different.

<v Speaker 1>They're blowing up on snapback. It's like, yeah, literally blowing

<v Speaker 1>up and so oh my god, I just keep skipping

<v Speaker 1>over stuff. So they get in the car again and

<v Speaker 1>Marlee slashed. Selina's like, okay, guys, you have two hours

<v Speaker 1>to figure out where you want to go before it's

<v Speaker 1>New Year's because Lane really wants to find Caroline. But

<v Speaker 1>then her and Cassie started talking about like how fun

<v Speaker 1>it's been, and Cassie's just like, well, no, it's probably

<v Speaker 1>been like a bust for you because you still haven't

<v Speaker 1>ran into Caroline. And then Lane's like, no, I'm actually

<v Speaker 1>having like a lot of fun with like seeing all

<v Speaker 1>my old friends and like hanging out with you and

<v Speaker 1>doing all these things.

<v Speaker 2>And Cassy's just like, oh my god, like.

<v Speaker 1>You just you're so obsessed with finding Caroline like, you

<v Speaker 1>don't understand like the way I feel about you, and

<v Speaker 1>Lane is like what do you How do I make

<v Speaker 1>you feel? And they both lean in like they're gonna

<v Speaker 1>kiss each other. And then Freddie texts back and he's like,

<v Speaker 1>I know where Caroline's at.

<v Speaker 2>She's like, oh my god, we should go there, and

<v Speaker 2>Kasy's like so annoying. Okay, I was like, sure, let's

<v Speaker 2>go there.

<v Speaker 1>So they say the Caroline's having a party right next

<v Speaker 1>to this park area, and so they're like, maybe if

<v Speaker 1>we go there, we can get into her party.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. The party, it was so funny because there were

<v Speaker 2>like no people there. I know, the party look so boring.

<v Speaker 2>They were like, we can't afford that many extra so

<v Speaker 2>it was like very spars was basically and.

<v Speaker 1>They weren't even really like dancing. They were just standing

<v Speaker 1>like they were literally just standing there, just standing.

<v Speaker 2>That's that's a gen Z party. Oh, I know. I

<v Speaker 2>hate that though. I hate that when you actually.

<v Speaker 1>Want to dance and you want to do something and

<v Speaker 1>then people are like you're actually like what do you mean?

<v Speaker 1>Like everyone has their own dance moves, everyone has like

<v Speaker 1>their own thing that they want to do. But I

<v Speaker 1>feel like a lot of a lot of it is

<v Speaker 1>just like standing around and talking.

<v Speaker 2>I just think that a lot of bringing back dancing. Yes,

<v Speaker 2>I feel like a lot of people are going to

<v Speaker 2>regret being so afraid of being crin because you know what,

<v Speaker 2>I think part of being a millennial is being okay

<v Speaker 2>and embracing our cringeness. And it took me a really

<v Speaker 2>long time to be like, because I have social anxiety

<v Speaker 2>and I lived in fear of being embarrassed. But it's like,

<v Speaker 2>once I finally was able to be on medication and

<v Speaker 2>get over that, my life is so much more fun

<v Speaker 2>because I don't fucking care if I'm going too hard

<v Speaker 2>and everybody's like, oh, look that girl doesn't have rhythm,

<v Speaker 2>I'll give a fun because I'm having so much fun. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>And I don't want people to be my age and

<v Speaker 2>look back at their twenties and be like, remember when

<v Speaker 2>we would go to the bars and we would just

<v Speaker 2>stand there because we were afraid people were gonna like

<v Speaker 2>judge us and call us cringe. Like, don't if you

<v Speaker 2>go to bars, you should dance unless you like really

<v Speaker 2>really hate dancing. I don't want to make you do it.

<v Speaker 2>But like, if there's like your deck like that, like

<v Speaker 2>my own the mood. Do something.

<v Speaker 1>I feel like some places that I've been, they definitely

<v Speaker 1>do dance. They definitely do Yeah, oh there's not so much.

<v Speaker 1>Then I'm like, well I can't. And then if you

<v Speaker 1>can't even dance because.

<v Speaker 2>They're like so close to you, so you're just like, well, yeah.

<v Speaker 2>The hard part about being at a bar and dancing

<v Speaker 2>is that men love to come up and try to

<v Speaker 2>involve themselves. I know we've had that. Yeah, that's gross. Anyway,

<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, ban that. Baned men.

<v Speaker 1>I don't have to slide past you to get to

<v Speaker 1>the fucking bathroom.

<v Speaker 2>And then they're like sweaty and gross. I touched your

<v Speaker 2>back of my buddy, small of your back, of your

<v Speaker 2>bad the back of the back of your body. They're

<v Speaker 2>at the park and I'm going to the park.

<v Speaker 1>They they now arrived at the park and they get

<v Speaker 1>off and they're walking and they're looking at the stars

<v Speaker 1>and Cassie's like, oh my god, I'm named after that

<v Speaker 1>star fucking lane.

<v Speaker 2>It's like, oh, the North Star.

<v Speaker 1>And she's like, no, Casipia and she's like oh yeah,

<v Speaker 1>She's like that's what my parents name me after. And

<v Speaker 1>then they're reminiscing on how literally at the exact bench

<v Speaker 1>that Lene is sitting at with Cassie, how Cassie went

<v Speaker 1>to go get some water and by the time she returned,

<v Speaker 1>Caroline was there and they were talking and that's how

<v Speaker 1>they started dating. Yeah, And so Cassie's just like mm

<v Speaker 1>hmm yeah. So then Lane is like, can you sit

<v Speaker 1>down with me because I don't think I'm ready to

<v Speaker 1>like go talk to Caroline yet, and Cassie's like, I

<v Speaker 1>don't think I should do that. I think I'm gonna

<v Speaker 1>get some water. So she ghost to get water and

<v Speaker 1>it's super fucking dark. First of all, behind know, I'm like,

<v Speaker 1>this is weird. It's so dark.

<v Speaker 2>Gonna get it like robbed her, loved her.

<v Speaker 1>Oh like, why would you not offer to go with

<v Speaker 1>your friend? Like she's literally walking anyways, you have.

<v Speaker 2>To see them, Okay. I'm like, yeah, that's what I thought.

<v Speaker 2>I was like wow.

<v Speaker 1>But Lane again is too wrapped up in her own thoughts.

<v Speaker 1>So she's sitting there and as she's walking, Caroline appears

<v Speaker 1>and Carolyne's like what the fuck? Lane like whoa? And

<v Speaker 1>Alene's like, oh my god, I've been looking for you

<v Speaker 1>all night, like I have so many things to like

<v Speaker 1>talk to you about.

<v Speaker 2>And so she's like, why were you looking for Mayne?

<v Speaker 1>She's like what, I literally didn't even know you were

<v Speaker 1>in town, Like I saw your performances, but I didn't

<v Speaker 1>think you would like come see me. So then her

<v Speaker 1>and Lane start hashing it out, Lane saying that she's

<v Speaker 1>sorry for breaking up with her and like leaving her

<v Speaker 1>there and everything else, and Caroline's like, no, no, no,

<v Speaker 1>like I'm if you had ran into me a couple

<v Speaker 1>months ago, i'd be very upset with you, but I've

<v Speaker 1>like gotten over you now, and I realize that it

<v Speaker 1>was for the best for us to break up because

<v Speaker 1>I can't do the long distance and we just weren't

<v Speaker 1>like meant for each other. So Lane starts crying and

<v Speaker 1>she's like, you don't know how like relieved I am

<v Speaker 1>to hear you say that. So they're hugging, and of

<v Speaker 1>course Cassie from Afar sees this, and she's really upset

<v Speaker 1>because she thinks that they're back together again. So she

<v Speaker 1>calls like another uber and she gets in the car

<v Speaker 1>and she drives away, and so as Lane and Caroline

<v Speaker 1>are still talking, she's like, I just missed your advice,

<v Speaker 1>like I need to talk to you about stuff, and

<v Speaker 1>Caroline's like, does this have to do with Cassie because

<v Speaker 1>you should definitely be with her, Like you see though,

<v Speaker 1>I saw the way that she looks at you and

<v Speaker 1>like it's easy for you to like you should already

<v Speaker 1>know this.

<v Speaker 2>And Lane's like, yeah, you're so right.

<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna go like tell her how I feel. But

<v Speaker 1>as she goes back to talk to Marlee, Marley's like, yeah,

<v Speaker 1>Cassie left in another car and she was crying, and

<v Speaker 1>so Lane's like.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god. Great. Lene is like okay, that's great, and.

<v Speaker 1>She calls Freddy and she's like, hey, I have a

<v Speaker 1>big favor, Like when I call you, can you like

<v Speaker 1>be there? And he's like okay, sure.

<v Speaker 2>So she makes this.

<v Speaker 1>Ambitious idea I will say because there's literally like less

<v Speaker 1>than two hours before New Year's she wants to finish

<v Speaker 1>the lyrics to her song to declare her love for

<v Speaker 1>Cassie at this like venue, but Marlee's like, well you

<v Speaker 1>need to. She pulls out the guitar and she's like,

<v Speaker 1>well get to writing.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're on the way.

<v Speaker 1>So in the car, Lane is like coming up with

<v Speaker 1>the lyrics for the song, and it's actually really sweet

<v Speaker 1>because she's talking about the Star, the North Star and

<v Speaker 1>all this other stuff.

<v Speaker 2>But I'm like, damn, girl, that's real crazy to like

<v Speaker 2>make that.

<v Speaker 1>But before she makes a video and she uploads it

<v Speaker 1>and Cassie sees it, and she's basically saying like, I

<v Speaker 1>will be performing this song and I basically love.

<v Speaker 2>You, Cassie, and Cassie's.

<v Speaker 1>Like, oh so like, so they go to this venue

<v Speaker 1>and everyone's there, like all her fans and stuff, and

<v Speaker 1>Freddie's recording her sing, which kind of seems really awkward

<v Speaker 1>because it's like she's sitting here playing her guitar and

<v Speaker 1>Freddie's like right here and he's just like watching her,

<v Speaker 1>and she's.

<v Speaker 2>Just like she just looks so awkward.

<v Speaker 1>But the song is really nice and everyone seems to

<v Speaker 1>really like it, but of course Cassie wasn't there, so

<v Speaker 1>she gets really sad because she's.

<v Speaker 2>Like, oh no.

<v Speaker 1>And then New Year's arrives and they do the whole

<v Speaker 1>little countdown and she's just like, oh no.

<v Speaker 2>But then Cassie appears and they.

<v Speaker 3>Kiss surprise, suppressed, surpride, Yes, Cassie's there, and they start

<v Speaker 3>kissing and basically are like yes, like we love each

<v Speaker 3>other and.

<v Speaker 2>Oh.

<v Speaker 1>But while while Lane was singing, there's like a nice

<v Speaker 1>little compilation of like queer couples.

<v Speaker 2>And it's really cute and like the song is.

<v Speaker 1>Just like you have somebody special. So I thought that

<v Speaker 1>was really nice. Yeah, and then as they're making out,

<v Speaker 1>because they're just making it out, Freddy and Marley are

<v Speaker 1>talking and they're like yay, like a very gay happy ending,

<v Speaker 1>which I love that, and then they say happy nears

<v Speaker 1>to each other and then Freddy's like happy New Year.

<v Speaker 1>Zelena confirming that Marlen and s Lena were obviously the

<v Speaker 1>same person, and she does like a little wink at

<v Speaker 1>the camera. Can you do your wink please?

<v Speaker 2>It's like she's always breaking the fourth wall.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, she was the only one.

<v Speaker 2>And then obviously at.

<v Speaker 1>The end they're like doing their little like music together

<v Speaker 1>Layne and Cassie and so happy ending.

<v Speaker 2>So cute. They're little sti lesbian couple.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know, I mean I did like that part

<v Speaker 1>of it.

<v Speaker 2>It was just like the other part that I was like, Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>it was like it was like it wasn't awful, right,

<v Speaker 2>it wasn't bad, but it also wasn't that great, which, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>we'll play into my rating. But so okay, So for

<v Speaker 2>Munch Merge Murder, the options are Cassie Lane, okay, Zelina

<v Speaker 2>slash Marley because now we know they're the same person. Okay,

<v Speaker 2>do you know yours? I haven't really thought about it.

<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm gonna go based off of well, obviously I

<v Speaker 1>know the movie, but like, I'm just gonna go.

<v Speaker 2>I'll go. Then. Yeah, so.

<v Speaker 1>I'm going to so much pressure. I am going to

<v Speaker 1>munch Cassie because I liked your character. I thought she

<v Speaker 1>was really nice and funny. Yeah, I didn't really like Lane,

<v Speaker 1>to be honest with you, So I'm gonna kill Lane.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god.

<v Speaker 1>And then I'd merge with Selena because she seems really fun.

<v Speaker 1>She's really into like doing these little things, like she's

<v Speaker 1>a driver, she's a psychic, who is she?

<v Speaker 2>She's all the things.

<v Speaker 1>She's all the things. That's why I want to merge

<v Speaker 1>with her. Yeah, we'd be always.

<v Speaker 2>Like a fun, exciting, fun, exciting couple. Yeah what about

<v Speaker 2>she always has cameras surrounding her. But yeah, no, I like,

<v Speaker 2>I like your your ideas on this one. I think

<v Speaker 2>that I I feel bad because you made Selena seem

<v Speaker 2>so cool and she is cool, but I think that

<v Speaker 2>of the options, I would probably have to murder her.

<v Speaker 2>But that's because I think that the girl that plays

<v Speaker 2>Lane is really pretty and she is really pretty, so

<v Speaker 2>I would merge with her because I think she's pretty

<v Speaker 2>and she's rich. I mean, she's pretty rich. Its soas Cassie,

<v Speaker 2>but I am more tracted to Laane and her like

<v Speaker 2>weird leather jacket that she Yeah, and then I would

<v Speaker 2>munch Cassie. Okay, yeah, what would you rate this movie?

<v Speaker 1>I would rate this movie a three year girl? Same, Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>you're like, gra I'm gonna do a form.

<v Speaker 2>I thought we were probably both gonna do it because

<v Speaker 2>we were both like it was like okay, like you

<v Speaker 2>but it wasn't good. And I feel like the three

<v Speaker 2>is like you know, if it's a two, it's like

<v Speaker 2>it's like really bad, but it's like not not not

<v Speaker 2>Maggie Nanny, but it's like almost you know, it's like borderless.

<v Speaker 2>So like a three, like I said, I feel like

<v Speaker 2>a three is like a C. It's just like it's fine,

<v Speaker 2>what I watch it again? Probably not, but like if

<v Speaker 2>I was like I really needed and watch a movie

<v Speaker 2>on New Year's that's gay, or I wanted to tell

<v Speaker 2>somebody there's a gay New Year's movie. I would be like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>you can watch this, you could watch it, you could

<v Speaker 2>so yeah. I would also say at three okay. So,

<v Speaker 2>if you're enjoying bet I'm a lesbian. Please head over

<v Speaker 2>to our Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, eliminate anything that you're on

<v Speaker 2>and follow to stay up to date on our newest

<v Speaker 2>episodes and hottest takes. We're now accepting questions for our

<v Speaker 2>Dear Dyke's Advice segment. Send in your dilemma and get

<v Speaker 2>help from us your favorite lesbian podcasters. There's a link

<v Speaker 2>to the jotform in the description of this episode, as

<v Speaker 2>well as on our link tree on also from media

<v Speaker 2>Welcome back.

<v Speaker 1>This week, we are doing the cookie jar segment. Yes,

<v Speaker 1>our beautiful cookie jar.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, okay, I'm gonna pick one first. Okay, I'm not

<v Speaker 2>gonna look. I don't know if I told you guys,

<v Speaker 2>but I dropped the lid and broke it. So that's

<v Speaker 2>there's no lid on the cookie jar anymore. So I

<v Speaker 2>don't want to look in and accidentally see the questions.

<v Speaker 2>Oh okay, if you're on YouTube, you can see them

<v Speaker 2>just looking away. Okay, upside down girl?

<v Speaker 1>Oh is it a good one or a bad one?

<v Speaker 2>Well, let's see your answer. Okay, what is your most

<v Speaker 2>unhinged sapphic merch idea? Merch? Yeah? Oh, like merch for

<v Speaker 2>the pod, which is funny because we've kind of talked

<v Speaker 2>about interesting ideas.

<v Speaker 1>True, we do have ideas for our merch. But the

<v Speaker 1>first thing that came to mind when it was like

<v Speaker 1>unhinged one, what if we made like, and I know

<v Speaker 1>there's like a lot of stuff out there, but what if.

<v Speaker 2>We made like a dual harness and dildo just with

<v Speaker 2>our logo? Okay? I was like, are you gonna say?

<v Speaker 2>I was like, Sparkley, No, it's not pink and sparkly.

<v Speaker 2>Want it? Literally?

<v Speaker 1>I can't can that could.

<v Speaker 2>Be in the background. Idea isn't too much the main I

<v Speaker 2>want it to be like our logo. Yeah, okay, but

<v Speaker 2>you have to take your ideas.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, it can be pink and sparkly, but like our logo, Like, okay.

<v Speaker 2>I do like that. Here's my other thought. I don't

<v Speaker 2>know it was this too personal? Who knows? But you

<v Speaker 2>know there are things okay, there are like harnesses and

<v Speaker 2>then there are like underwear that just have a spot

<v Speaker 2>to do both.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we're gonna do both because we're gonna have different things.

<v Speaker 2>And I do want to tell you that some of

<v Speaker 2>the harnesses that may have been tried in the past

<v Speaker 2>by people that I know of you mean you meculous.

<v Speaker 1>I was just so you said, you're like some of

<v Speaker 1>them by the people that I know my.

<v Speaker 2>Friend on No. Sometimes they're really small, they're made for

<v Speaker 2>really really skinny people.

<v Speaker 1>We're going to be inclusive.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, we're gonna do it. The thing I like about

<v Speaker 2>the underwear one is like you just buy your size

<v Speaker 2>of underwear and you know that they will fit your body,

<v Speaker 2>but also they have harnesses that are much more adjustable.

<v Speaker 2>I think that when I was younger and I bought something,

<v Speaker 2>I just bought the regular size. It was for someone

<v Speaker 2>very skinny. I was like, oh, I'm sorry, you think

<v Speaker 2>all lesbians are like twenty pounds. I was like one

<v Speaker 2>of those things where I was like, oh, you're like,

<v Speaker 2>what is it? Yeah, I accidentally buy like an extra

<v Speaker 2>extra small. It's the most I am offended. I was like,

<v Speaker 2>what the fuck, You're like, No, this is a lie. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>so I would be very size inclusive, size inclusive.

<v Speaker 1>It would also, like you said, we could have the

<v Speaker 1>hardness and we can also have just the underwear.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and we also will offer like saying it like

<v Speaker 2>we are going surprised. Actually it's under your chair y,

<v Speaker 2>you get a told them if you get it told.

<v Speaker 2>But I was thinking, yeah, we could have. We won't

<v Speaker 2>do realistic ones because we talked about that. I don't

<v Speaker 2>like that.

<v Speaker 1>We don't like realistic ones the army. I'm like picturing

<v Speaker 1>that right now, a realistic one with just like cherries.

<v Speaker 2>And glitter, and I'm like, you know what we do.

<v Speaker 1>We should do the skin color one too for people

<v Speaker 1>just well we'll put it like glittery, yes.

<v Speaker 2>But I would like it to be glitter because I

<v Speaker 2>feel like it goes with the brand. You want skin

<v Speaker 2>color glitter, Like it's gonna look like Edward like tam

<v Speaker 2>Edward like, yeah, we'll just do We'll do regular Okay.

<v Speaker 2>My thought too is that most of any type of

<v Speaker 2>harness is like interchangeable with different things. So if you wanted,

<v Speaker 2>you know, because we're not gonna make them in every

<v Speaker 2>single size, not until we're like really rich. Yeah, I

<v Speaker 2>mean the sizes of the harness. We will make in

<v Speaker 2>different sizes, but I'm not I'm just saying we're gonna

<v Speaker 2>make like a five and just six and just you know, yeah, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>make every size.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, we're gonna have to like put sizes in a

<v Speaker 1>jar and just pick one out and.

<v Speaker 2>They'll do the on Instagram. Yeah, Instagram, what size do

<v Speaker 2>you want? And how much girth?

<v Speaker 1>Only on Instagram. So if you don't follow us, you're

<v Speaker 1>gonna miss out on this.

<v Speaker 2>You're gonna be really sad that you didn't get our

<v Speaker 2>fucking dildo. Yes, and then if you buy it later,

<v Speaker 2>you're gonna be like, oh, this is too small, and

<v Speaker 2>it's like, well, you know what, you didn't vote, so

<v Speaker 2>we made a small one. Use your vote. It's like,

<v Speaker 2>we need you to vote. Why do I want to

<v Speaker 2>do this? How do we do it? I really want

<v Speaker 2>to do it. And I'm going to reach out to

<v Speaker 2>like a company that makes toys and ask them if

<v Speaker 2>they would make do a collab with us. If we

<v Speaker 2>got to like a certain amount of like followers, did

<v Speaker 2>you do a collapse? The worst that can happen is

<v Speaker 2>they say no, that's true. Okays. Anyway, we had another

<v Speaker 2>idea to make georts one time, and I think we

<v Speaker 2>should do those too.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, I'm in favor of georts.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, I have another idea, but it's not unhinged, and

<v Speaker 2>I don't want to talk about it because I don't

<v Speaker 2>want anyone to steal it from me.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah you gotta you gotta wait?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Oh up too?

<v Speaker 1>Whoa, Okay, it's a long one. You're in a life

<v Speaker 1>or death situation. What's the one useless talent that might

<v Speaker 1>save you? What did they think of your Baltimore?

<v Speaker 2>Oh? I was like, I could do the belly roll.

<v Speaker 2>I can distract them, Like, is it men? I could

<v Speaker 2>flash them? Is that a talent? Having big boobs? Not

<v Speaker 2>the talent? But I used to flash people a lot

<v Speaker 2>when I was younger, and it got me things.

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what, I don't feel like that could say? No,

<v Speaker 1>that could save you.

<v Speaker 2>That's true, Okay, flashing someone and also doing the belly

<v Speaker 2>roll to be like together. Yea, yeah, I can belly

<v Speaker 2>dance for you.

<v Speaker 1>You're like, look at this, you want to kill me?

<v Speaker 2>Why would you kill me? I'm here, I have boobs,

<v Speaker 2>don't you?

<v Speaker 1>Or if you like like distract, yeah, you can use

<v Speaker 1>that for anything.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, what's yours?

<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I have.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

<v Speaker 1>I think the last time we talked about talents, I

<v Speaker 1>said I was possibly double jointing.

<v Speaker 2>So maybe if I just like.

<v Speaker 1>Like locked into my powers. What if I'm like trapped

<v Speaker 1>and I can like get out or something, you could

<v Speaker 1>belly roll out of it.

<v Speaker 2>You'd literally be You'd be saying I'm distracting them taking

<v Speaker 2>You're just like belly dancing out of it. I would

<v Speaker 2>be like, it's so weird. We just let you go,

<v Speaker 2>Like let her go, we don't need that's so funny.

<v Speaker 2>Did you ever when you were a kid where people

<v Speaker 2>would be like, if you got kidnapped, like they would

<v Speaker 2>just bring you back because you talk too much like

<v Speaker 2>that saying parents like to say, so maybe that's also

<v Speaker 2>our talent. They would be like, oh my god, you're.

<v Speaker 1>So fucking annoying. You don't shut up, so we're gonna

<v Speaker 1>return you.

<v Speaker 2>Like how I decided we were kidnapped. But I'm like, what,

<v Speaker 2>I guess Like it could be like we're stranded in

<v Speaker 2>the middle of nowhere and I'm like, oh, flash them

<v Speaker 2>and dance and there's no one there. We're in the

<v Speaker 2>middle of the desert. I don't know in our situation,

<v Speaker 2>we were kidnapped, Okay.

<v Speaker 1>In our situation, we would survive if that was the situation.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, obviously, okay, okay, which guessed dead or alive? I

<v Speaker 2>don't understand the wording of this, So okay, which guest

<v Speaker 2>dead or alive would instantly make the pod go off

<v Speaker 2>the rails? Does that mean like in a good way

<v Speaker 2>or a bad way? Like it was a good way? Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>Like it would be like, wow, this is a crazy episode.

<v Speaker 2>They got her? Well what we Wow, guys, that would

<v Speaker 2>be a crazy episode dream podcasts my black yet my

<v Speaker 2>head would your no? Oh my god? That really would

<v Speaker 2>go off the rails in a bad way and a

<v Speaker 2>good way.

<v Speaker 1>I will say, since we talked about her, Anna Nicole Smith,

<v Speaker 1>she would make it allowed to be.

<v Speaker 2>Someone dead I literally read that, but alive?

<v Speaker 1>Who would want a live? Oh?

<v Speaker 2>I already know who you want live? You'd want Kate

<v Speaker 2>or yeah, I.

<v Speaker 1>Can get Selma hyek.

<v Speaker 2>I could just all be here, Okay. So yeah, if

<v Speaker 2>we could have Kate Minnig and Lisia Haley, if there

<v Speaker 2>was like a if we ever got popular enough that

<v Speaker 2>Pants heard of us, like and we did like a

<v Speaker 2>Pants crossover, I would die like I would die, so yeah,

<v Speaker 2>the podcast will go off the rails because I don't

<v Speaker 2>know what would happen. I wouldn't be in control. I

<v Speaker 2>would be too scared to talk. I would probably be like.

<v Speaker 1>Hi, guys, oh my god, we love you so good.

<v Speaker 1>It would just be like the entire episode of US,

<v Speaker 1>like praising them, like, oh my god, you're you're so cool,

<v Speaker 1>You're amazing.

<v Speaker 2>You know. Okay, But I do love Anna Nicole Smith.

<v Speaker 2>And for those of you that don't know, which probably

<v Speaker 2>some people don't know, she was, she was like a

<v Speaker 2>bye a pan. She had multiple girlfriends in her life

<v Speaker 2>and before she was with her old husband Jay Howard Marshall,

<v Speaker 2>she had a girlfriend when she was an exotic dancer,

<v Speaker 2>a stripper, and she like me, she loves the butchers

<v Speaker 2>and the masks. I feel like that was always her

<v Speaker 2>type and she's just so beautiful and I love her.

<v Speaker 2>I love I am still mad about how mean people

<v Speaker 2>were to her when she gained weight, because she was

<v Speaker 2>always hot no matter her weight. But men are just haters,

<v Speaker 2>Like when Howard starn is a disgusting man, I don't

<v Speaker 2>know why anyone listens. People still listen to him, I think,

<v Speaker 2>which is crazy to me because I thought he was

<v Speaker 2>canceled forever ago. He should be anyway, Yeah, it would

<v Speaker 2>be cool to have Somahayak and we could just convince

<v Speaker 2>her to not be be doing bad stuff because I

<v Speaker 2>don't remember why. We don't like her, but she did something.

<v Speaker 1>Because her husband's company.

<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, she should leave the husband obviously be a lesbian.

<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, okay.

<v Speaker 1>This one. Okay, well, I'll just do one of them.

<v Speaker 1>What's your ultimate gay panic moment that still lives in

<v Speaker 1>your head?

<v Speaker 2>You know, I don't know if i'm like because I'm older,

<v Speaker 2>because I always hear gay panic, I don't really remember

<v Speaker 2>having gay panic. I mean, okay, okay, I wouldn't call it. Okay,

<v Speaker 2>maybe it is. I remember that when I was in

<v Speaker 2>high school and I would party a lot there. I

<v Speaker 2>was like sixteen, and there were these like girls that

<v Speaker 2>were a little older, like twenty that would hang out

<v Speaker 2>with us. And I remember that the one girl, Rosie

<v Speaker 2>brought some of her friends from her hometown. There was

<v Speaker 2>this girl and I don't know, she was like pretty

<v Speaker 2>but like she was kind of like basic, but like

<v Speaker 2>also I was like on Molly or whatever, and we

<v Speaker 2>made out and it was like the most amazing thing

<v Speaker 2>in the world. Like I can still remember it, and

<v Speaker 2>I think it felt really magical, not because I like

<v Speaker 2>was just so attracted to her, but maybe because I

<v Speaker 2>was so high. It felt like it was just like amazing.

<v Speaker 2>It was like, yeah, I don't know, it was like

<v Speaker 2>panic moment because I remember at that time in my

<v Speaker 2>life I was like, I'm not even by like and

<v Speaker 2>I like being out with girls for fun. And then

<v Speaker 2>I was like, why did I feel that way? My

<v Speaker 2>whole body like tingled, and I'm like it's the drugs,

<v Speaker 2>Like no, no, no, that's why. It's the molly talking yeah,

<v Speaker 2>lesbian molly. Anyway, I don't know, do you have one?

<v Speaker 1>I want to say.

<v Speaker 2>Yes. And it's also at a party.

<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to think of like not a moment when

<v Speaker 1>you're a kid, because you know, obviously I was very

<v Speaker 1>in denial.

<v Speaker 2>I still was denial in high school.

<v Speaker 1>I think sort of like the same thing as you,

<v Speaker 1>where I'm like, no, women are like beautiful, women are

<v Speaker 1>so beautiful, And I think jokes all the time like well,

<v Speaker 1>what if I just like had a girlfriend, like specifically

<v Speaker 1>an older girlfriend, Like what would you guys do?

<v Speaker 2>God, what if I was like dating someone like Kate Blanchet,

<v Speaker 2>I'm just trying just people that were older.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, yeah, but I would just like joke around. But

<v Speaker 1>in my head, I'm like, but I'm not joking anyway.

<v Speaker 1>I remember we're at a party, and obviously, again to

<v Speaker 1>the whole thing, people don't dance at parties, but this party,

<v Speaker 1>they did dance nice and I know, right, and surprisingly left,

<v Speaker 1>I was like sober. I didn't even drink or anything

<v Speaker 1>because I was like, I'm gonna go home and I

<v Speaker 1>don't want like my parents to be like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 1>we'd let you go to this party and what did

<v Speaker 1>you do? You got drunk er, you did this. So

<v Speaker 1>I was just like, I'm here for the vibes. So

<v Speaker 1>it was very awkward, like trying to dance because everyone

<v Speaker 1>was like drunk and they're like, you know, every fun

<v Speaker 1>and I'm just like, oh my god, is so good.

<v Speaker 1>But then eventually I was just like, you know what,

<v Speaker 1>fuck it, I don't care. We're in the dark and

<v Speaker 1>no one can see me. So we're in the dark,

<v Speaker 1>but I get separated from my friends. But there's these

<v Speaker 1>really nice girls that were like, oh my god, like

<v Speaker 1>let's all dance because they were actually dancing, but then

<v Speaker 1>one of them started dancing.

<v Speaker 2>On me and I'm like, oh my god. And then

<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, oh.

<v Speaker 1>No, I'm so sorry, like no, because she was like

<v Speaker 1>flirting with me, but I was like no, like I'm

<v Speaker 1>not gay.

<v Speaker 2>But in my head, I was like, but why do

<v Speaker 2>I like this?

<v Speaker 1>So I always remember that we went and I'm like,

<v Speaker 1>oh my god, I want to go to all the parties.

<v Speaker 2>All the time. Oh my, I'm like me but yeah, I.

<v Speaker 1>Was like I think I'm just gonna go off on

<v Speaker 1>my own guys like it's yeah. So that was the

<v Speaker 1>time and I was like, oh my god. And my

<v Speaker 1>friends were like is that girl dancing on you? And

<v Speaker 1>I was like yeah, that's so funny, Like yeah, my god.

<v Speaker 1>I felt really comfortable with me.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So yeah, because she knew I was straight, she

<v Speaker 2>knew she knew guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, do we have

<v Speaker 2>time for one more or no? Okay, it we got

<v Speaker 2>I think I think we're done. But those were really

<v Speaker 2>fun and that was like a weird memory. I don't

<v Speaker 2>even remember what that girl's name was, but I just

<v Speaker 2>remember I thought about it a lot after that, and

<v Speaker 2>I was like, whoa like, yeah, does this mean I'm

<v Speaker 2>gay anyway? Thank you so much for tuning in too,

<v Speaker 2>but I'm a lesbian. We are your go to for

<v Speaker 2>sapphic media reviews, wow drama, and unfiltered queer takes. If

<v Speaker 2>you enjoyed the show, please like, share, and subscribe on

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<v Speaker 2>queer community and keep this lesbian led pod thriving. After all,

<v Speaker 2>the algorithms a bitch and we're just two lesbians with

<v Speaker 2>Mike's out here trying to survive. And I gotta tell

<v Speaker 2>you one more thing. I found out recently that we

<v Speaker 2>now have an actual review on Apple Podcasts, which is

<v Speaker 2>really exciting, So thank you so much to the person

<v Speaker 2>that did that, because we kept like begging for them.

<v Speaker 2>And also we went from at our lowest three point

<v Speaker 2>seven stars to four point one. Now the last time

<v Speaker 2>I checked, you were only we just got to four

<v Speaker 2>point zero. So this is very exciting because, like we've

<v Speaker 2>said before, if you've been listening since the beginning, our

<v Speaker 2>ratings got bomped when all we had out was our

<v Speaker 2>season one teaser, probably because it has lesbian in the title.

<v Speaker 2>Because I don't know how people were a one star

<v Speaker 2>out of nowhere, So we're just working our way back

<v Speaker 2>up from that. But I'm really really excited, and thank

<v Speaker 2>you so much guys for us for giving us for promost.

<v Speaker 2>Thank you to that person.

<v Speaker 1>We hope more people follow. Please do but don't miss

<v Speaker 1>next week's episode. We are going to discuss love lives bleeding,

<v Speaker 1>our inspiration to be muscle lesbian y a hot and

<v Speaker 1>sweaty romantic thrillers set in the eighties. This movie is

<v Speaker 1>available to stream on HBO Max.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, So we will see you next Tuesday. Executive producers

<v Speaker 2>for But I'm a Lesbian are Caitlin Batty and Angelina Herrera.

<v Speaker 2>Produced and mixed by Victoria Shiplett. Creative direction and video

<v Speaker 2>editing provided by Juanita Urerte. Music by Stiletto Falsetto.