<v Speaker 1>Welcome to But I'm a Lesbian, the podcast where we

<v Speaker 1>serve all batty SaaS, queer film reviews, and everything in between.

<v Speaker 1>Whether you were a baby, gay or.

<v Speaker 2>A queer elder, we're here, We're queer, and we're diving

<v Speaker 2>deep into all things lesbian. We're your hosts, Caitlin and Angelina.

<v Speaker 2>Get ready for some sapphic serotonin. This week we are

<v Speaker 2>talking about the classic Well it's only five years old,

<v Speaker 2>but it's become a classic because we have so few

<v Speaker 2>lesbian Christmas movies. The twenty twenty movie Happiest Season. So

<v Speaker 2>this is the first Christmas movie that we've reviewed, but

<v Speaker 2>we will be reviewing a couple more because there's still

<v Speaker 2>a couple of weeks until Christmas. So question, do you

<v Speaker 2>do like this time of year? Or are you like me?

<v Speaker 2>Are you like a grinch? Or I'm a humbug? What's

<v Speaker 2>his name?

<v Speaker 1>Are you?

<v Speaker 2>You don't give me that vie.

<v Speaker 1>No, I do like Christmas. I wouldn't say I'm like

<v Speaker 1>obsessed with Christmas, but it's fun. I like the lights.

<v Speaker 1>I like we're in an occasional ugly Christmas sweater. I

<v Speaker 1>don't know, I feel like that's fun. What about you.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I I do love Christmas, but I'm not like

<v Speaker 2>a I'm not like a super crazy Christmas person. I

<v Speaker 2>also am not a big fan of decorating, and I

<v Speaker 2>think that people that are really into Christmas a big

<v Speaker 2>part of that is decorating for Christmas. I'm very lazy

<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, why would I put stuff up to

<v Speaker 2>only have it up for a month or two? Like

<v Speaker 2>then I have to tat all now and that's annoying. Also,

<v Speaker 2>having had cats for so long, we can't have a

<v Speaker 2>tree because the cats love to like knock stuff off

<v Speaker 2>the tree try to climb the tree.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I like Christmas. It's been more fun the

<v Speaker 2>last ten years since my niece was born because it's fun. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>you know, Christmas is fun when there's a kid around,

<v Speaker 2>it's like extra fun. And I do like that. Like

<v Speaker 2>every Christmas season there's like I get like a minute

<v Speaker 2>or like a tiny like reminder of like nostalgia, you know,

<v Speaker 2>like that really amazing feeling of what Christmas was like

<v Speaker 2>as a kid, and I'm like, oh my god, I

<v Speaker 2>love Christmas. And then I go back to being a

<v Speaker 2>grown up and being like, oh, I'm worried about money.

<v Speaker 1>You're like real adult.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, but I wanted to ask, I guess I have

<v Speaker 2>two questions for you today. So there's a part in

<v Speaker 2>this movie where Kristin Stewart's character gets caught sneaking around,

<v Speaker 2>like to go visit her girlfriend in the house, and

<v Speaker 2>she says that she was sleepwalking. She's into the closet

<v Speaker 2>and she's like, oh my gosh. I was like, what

<v Speaker 2>are you doing in there. She's like, I don't know.

<v Speaker 2>I must have been sleepwalking. She's like, oh, no, okay,

<v Speaker 2>are you okay to go back down to your that's

<v Speaker 2>so dangerous. Yes, but I wanted to ask, do you

<v Speaker 2>or anyone you know sleepwalk?

<v Speaker 1>Yes? I used to sleep walk and sleep talk a lot. Yes.

<v Speaker 1>My dad used to as well when he was younger,

<v Speaker 1>and even as an adult. I think we're the only two.

<v Speaker 1>My sister would sleep talk, but she would never really

<v Speaker 1>like sleep walk, But it was me and my dad

<v Speaker 1>that like would sleep walk.

<v Speaker 2>Like I would walk, like to the kitchen.

<v Speaker 1>I would get up and like get all my things

<v Speaker 1>ready and stuff, and my parents would think that I

<v Speaker 1>was like awake, and then the next day they're like,

<v Speaker 1>do you remember what you did? And I'm like, no,

<v Speaker 1>They're like you were literally just getting ready for the

<v Speaker 1>day and like trying to go out the door, and

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, oh my god. But other than that, or

<v Speaker 1>just like to get up and like walk around the room.

<v Speaker 1>But my dad when he was younger, and even as

<v Speaker 1>an adult too, he would like leave the house.

<v Speaker 2>That's scary. He could get hit by a car or something.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, when he was younger, he was like, I don't

<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't even remember until like my dad, his dad

<v Speaker 1>would wake him up and like drag him back to

<v Speaker 1>the house because he was like in a field somewhere.

<v Speaker 1>And then as an adult, I remember I would hear

<v Speaker 1>the door open and I was like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 1>I think he's sleepwalking. And he was like barefooted walking

<v Speaker 1>out there.

<v Speaker 2>And he came back and he's.

<v Speaker 1>Like, oh my, I stepped on something. I woke up,

<v Speaker 1>and I was like, oh fuck. I know, but it

<v Speaker 1>doesn't happen like every night. It's like it happens for

<v Speaker 1>like a short period of time and then it like

<v Speaker 1>goes away and I haven't slept walk since.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, Yeah, that's really scary because I know. There was

<v Speaker 2>like a murder case where the guy said that he

<v Speaker 2>was asleep yes.

<v Speaker 1>He was just gonna say yes that he.

<v Speaker 2>Took ambient and then it made him.

<v Speaker 1>He killed his mother in law. He killed yeah, and

<v Speaker 1>he's like, I was sleepwalking.

<v Speaker 2>Oh, you can't blame me.

<v Speaker 1>I was sleep And did the mom say that. She's like,

<v Speaker 1>I took ambient once and it was really she ordered

<v Speaker 1>a racehorse.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what about you?

<v Speaker 2>Have you?

<v Speaker 1>I know you told me that you like kind of

<v Speaker 1>do stuff in your sleep.

<v Speaker 2>Have you ever like I've never like gotten up, but

<v Speaker 2>I maybe I have, because I do get random bruises.

<v Speaker 2>But I think it's just because I'm getting like old,

<v Speaker 2>Like my grandma would always have bruises and she'd be like,

<v Speaker 2>it's just because muskin is so fan and I'm like,

<v Speaker 2>oh god, it's happening to me because remember that big

<v Speaker 2>old bruise on my lege. I don't know where it

<v Speaker 2>came from. So maybe I did get up. I do

<v Speaker 2>get up a lot to pee in the middle of

<v Speaker 2>the night, like it all copens every night. But I'm

<v Speaker 2>like awake kind of, you know, enough to be like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>I'm going to peel the bed if I don't get up,

<v Speaker 2>you know, But I talk a lot in my sleep.

<v Speaker 2>I guess and it's probably really annoying because my wife

<v Speaker 2>is like the lightest sleeper ever and I am not.

<v Speaker 2>I'm like a sleep like a log, like someone could

<v Speaker 2>probably rob the house and I wouldn't notice.

<v Speaker 1>You're in your dream, just doing what you need traveling,

<v Speaker 1>like like I do the thing where my alarm's going

<v Speaker 1>off and I'm like dancing in my dream, like I

<v Speaker 1>make it into like a thing. It's the sirens and

<v Speaker 1>you're like, yeah, yes, happened this morning.

<v Speaker 2>My alarm was going off and my wife had to

<v Speaker 2>wake me up because she's like she just woke me

<v Speaker 2>up and pointed at the phone, and I was like, oh, ex,

<v Speaker 2>I didn't hear it. I didn't notice. But no, I

<v Speaker 2>do a lot of like I'm very aggress in my sleep.

<v Speaker 2>Apparently the other day I screamed and I scared all

<v Speaker 2>the babies. Sailor came over and was like looking my

<v Speaker 2>face and laid next to me. And I can't remember

<v Speaker 2>the reason that I screamed. Oh, because I in my

<v Speaker 2>dream someone left the door open and all the animals escaped,

<v Speaker 2>and so in my dream, I was like screaming because

<v Speaker 2>I was like trying to get yeah, and I was like, oh, baby,

<v Speaker 2>are you okay? Like you're screaming, And I was like,

<v Speaker 2>where are the babies? Where they and she's like they're

<v Speaker 2>right here and they didn't get out and she's like, no,

<v Speaker 2>they didn't get out, and I was like, okay, okay.

<v Speaker 2>I went back to sleep. And then another time I

<v Speaker 2>punched my phone in my sleep, and I don't think

<v Speaker 2>I broke the screen, but the screen is always kind

<v Speaker 2>of broken because I've dropped it so many times. Another

<v Speaker 2>time I punched the wall and I hurt my knuckles,

<v Speaker 2>and then I've kicked really aggressively and like scared Abby

<v Speaker 2>because she likes to sleep at the bottom of the bed.

<v Speaker 2>And then yeah, I knocked something over the other day.

<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I do things, but I don't like fully

<v Speaker 2>get up.

<v Speaker 1>So that's good that, I mean, that is good.

<v Speaker 2>So it would be hard for me to like kill

<v Speaker 2>someone in my sleep because.

<v Speaker 1>But you also don't take ambience.

<v Speaker 2>I don't and I hopefully never will. I don't have

<v Speaker 2>problems sleeping. I love sleeping. I'm really good at it.

<v Speaker 2>Like I'm so good at so good at falling asleep

<v Speaker 2>and staying asleep except for when I have to get

<v Speaker 2>up to pee, and then I go right back to sleep.

<v Speaker 1>You're like love.

<v Speaker 2>So let's see, do you have a hot take or

<v Speaker 2>a burning desire for this movie that you okay, sure.

<v Speaker 1>I know when we talked about this movie, you were like,

<v Speaker 1>I hate Harper and I had seen clips that you know,

<v Speaker 1>literally everyone hated Harper and they thought that Abby and

<v Speaker 1>Riley should end up together, and I could see it.

<v Speaker 1>But towards the end, I feel like I liked the

<v Speaker 1>end of the movie, which I don't like Harper, but

<v Speaker 1>I like that they ended up together, and you know,

<v Speaker 1>they seem to have so I was like, Okay, I guess,

<v Speaker 1>but also, she's not a good person.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. That is a hot take though, because I feel

<v Speaker 2>like it's collectively most people hate the yeaing together.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know everyone wanted Riley and Abby. Yeah, and

<v Speaker 1>I did too. I saw there was chemistry, so.

<v Speaker 2>Well, you know what. That's funny because my hot take

<v Speaker 2>is that a lot of people think Abby and Riley

<v Speaker 2>should have ended up together. But I think that would

<v Speaker 2>have been silly because it's giving like just because there's

<v Speaker 2>another lesbian that exists, they're gonna end up together, you know,

<v Speaker 2>because it's like she's the only other lesbian that they

<v Speaker 2>showed in the movie in the town, and so I'm like,

<v Speaker 2>they could just be friends, like we're friends. I think

<v Speaker 2>it would be weird if there was like a movie

<v Speaker 2>and people were like they should end up together because

<v Speaker 2>they're both gay, you know, like and so that's kind

<v Speaker 2>of what it's giving. But it's also I also understand

<v Speaker 2>because it's like as like lesbians wanting representation in movies,

<v Speaker 2>like I understand wanting a better love story. So I

<v Speaker 2>get it. But I don't know. I just I guess

<v Speaker 2>my hot take is that everyone else's hot take is

<v Speaker 2>actually wrong. And I kind of think that Abby and

<v Speaker 2>and Harper should have broken up, like when when she

<v Speaker 2>said it's yeah, it should have really been over. But

<v Speaker 2>I think she should have just gone and like been single,

<v Speaker 2>get with right. I don't think yeah, she didn't need

<v Speaker 2>to like hop from one relationship to another.

<v Speaker 1>I think true, yeah, because she was gonna propose to her,

<v Speaker 1>So it's not like, I mean that would be crazy

<v Speaker 1>for her to just be like I'm done with Harper,

<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna go be with Riley now your ex girlfriend.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, So it would be like I did did I

<v Speaker 2>tell you this? That? Like, No, there was a time

<v Speaker 2>when like me and my ex were broken up and

<v Speaker 2>we were like hating each other, and then like she

<v Speaker 2>like slept with this Mormon girl, Oh my god. And

<v Speaker 2>then I slept with her roommate because I was like, damn,

<v Speaker 2>you get you back your roommate. I could see something

<v Speaker 2>like that. But also we were like twenty one. That's

<v Speaker 2>like very like petty twenty year behavior, not like thirty

<v Speaker 2>year old behavior like they are in this movie.

<v Speaker 1>But I mean they could be petty.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah right, Yeah, so yeah, I think that they shouldn't

<v Speaker 2>have ended up together. But I also think Abby and

<v Speaker 2>Riley shouldn't end up together. I also think people just

<v Speaker 2>really like Aubrey Plaza and think she's pretty, so they're

<v Speaker 2>like too, I think that.

<v Speaker 1>Christinstern Aby should be together.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then I really like the character, but I

<v Speaker 2>just don't think that I think they should be best friends. Yeah. Okay,

<v Speaker 2>so we're gonna take a quick break down and when

<v Speaker 2>we get back, we'll get into the recap. So grab

<v Speaker 2>your spiced alcohol beverage or non alcoholic spiced beverage and

<v Speaker 2>get ready for aphic opinion. Welcome back to but I'm

<v Speaker 2>a Lesbian. This week, we are discussing happiest season. So

<v Speaker 2>I am giving them recap this week. I have mentioned

<v Speaker 2>that I'm not a big fan of this movie, but

<v Speaker 2>you know what, it's not that bad. It's just it's

<v Speaker 2>just like I said in my hot take, I think

<v Speaker 2>that the queer women, the gay women, we are like

<v Speaker 2>so desperate for like good representation that sometimes I feel like, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>I'm like extra harsh sometimes. And there were really funny

<v Speaker 2>parts of this movie. There were I agree, and Christen

<v Speaker 2>Steward looks really hot in it.

<v Speaker 1>She does I okay, she does.

<v Speaker 2>I was like, damn the part I talk about this,

<v Speaker 2>But there's like a part where she's wearing very inappropriate

<v Speaker 2>for a family holiday because she has their thing on zipped.

<v Speaker 1>Oh they're gonna do Christmas photos.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Like but I was like, it's okay because her

<v Speaker 2>boobs are small so there's like no cleavage. But I

<v Speaker 2>was like, damn, girl, she just looked really hot. I

<v Speaker 2>don't know. And then of course my wife, probably because

<v Speaker 2>she knows that I think she's hot, she's like, oh

<v Speaker 2>my god, look how greasy her hair is. No nobody

<v Speaker 2>told her to wash her hair.

<v Speaker 1>Oh another mouse Like yeah, I was like, I like

<v Speaker 1>creasy hair. You're like, I think she looks hot.

<v Speaker 2>Anyway, So the film starts with Kristen Stewart, whose name

<v Speaker 2>is Abby. And if you guys know me at all

<v Speaker 2>or follow us on TikTok, you know that I have

<v Speaker 2>a dog named Abby, so I really like this name.

<v Speaker 2>So we see Abby and Harper, who's played by Mackenzie Davis,

<v Speaker 2>who is from San Junipero episode that we did on

<v Speaker 2>episode three I think season one, episode three, San Junaparo

<v Speaker 2>episode of Black Mirror. Anyway, we see Kristen Stewart slash

<v Speaker 2>Abby and Harper slash McKenzie on a Christmas decoration tour,

<v Speaker 2>and we find out that Kristin is not a big

<v Speaker 2>ex miss person. Kristin, I mean Abby, I keep interchangeably

<v Speaker 2>saying Christin Stewart, but Abby is not a big Christmas person.

<v Speaker 2>And then they sneak away from the tour and they

<v Speaker 2>climb to the roof of a random house and it's

<v Speaker 2>like all romantic and they kiss, but then they get

<v Speaker 2>caught and Abby falls from the roof and then they

<v Speaker 2>run away and make out in an alley, which reminded

<v Speaker 2>me of disobedience. When they're all yes, I was like,

<v Speaker 2>oh my god, and then Harper invites Abby to Christmas

<v Speaker 2>at her parents' house and she's like, oh, but like,

<v Speaker 2>who will watch the pets because I guess usually she

<v Speaker 2>pets it. And she's like it'll be fine, like have

<v Speaker 2>somebody cover.

<v Speaker 1>She's like okay.

<v Speaker 2>So then we cut to the next morning and Harper

<v Speaker 2>is like waking up and she looks like all worried,

<v Speaker 2>like she's already regretting that she invited her last night.

<v Speaker 2>So I feel like she was maybe kind of drunk

<v Speaker 2>when she did it.

<v Speaker 1>I don't know.

<v Speaker 2>And then Abby looks all excited. She's playing Christmas music,

<v Speaker 2>she made her coffee and it's like so cute and gay.

<v Speaker 2>She's like, oh my god.

<v Speaker 1>I was like, I'm excited to go home.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, and I wrote I hate Harper.

<v Speaker 1>It started.

<v Speaker 2>I already hate this bit because I'm like, why do

<v Speaker 2>you invite her? And now you're like, you don't have to.

<v Speaker 1>Go about the pets?

<v Speaker 2>Yes, And so we find out that Abby's parents died

<v Speaker 2>and she usually pets it's at Christmas, but she's already

<v Speaker 2>talked to her friend John and he is going to

<v Speaker 2>cover for her, and her friend is Dan Levy from

<v Speaker 2>Shit's Creek. Yeah, n I don't love him in this

<v Speaker 2>movie though, because he's a really bad pet sitter and

<v Speaker 2>he kills the fish, like that's not funny. I don't

<v Speaker 2>think animals dying is a funny joke.

<v Speaker 1>And then he's just like, so we should really have

<v Speaker 1>a conversation about the fish at some point.

<v Speaker 2>It is funny when he's like, where would one get

<v Speaker 2>the fish? I want to get myself the exact same fish.

<v Speaker 2>But anyway, so he's not a very good pet sitter,

<v Speaker 2>but he is a good friend. So John and Abby

<v Speaker 2>meet up and they go to the jewelry store and

<v Speaker 2>we find out that Abby is picking up an engagement

<v Speaker 2>ring for Harper and I'm like, so us be in

<v Speaker 2>And then I love how John is like, why would

<v Speaker 2>you want to get married? Like you want to like

<v Speaker 2>own her?

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you would, saying something about like trapping her and

<v Speaker 1>like this archaic ritual which is j Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>And then Abby wants to ask the dad for the blessing,

<v Speaker 2>and he's like, that's extra weird. You're going to ask

<v Speaker 2>this man like can he give up ownership of his

<v Speaker 2>child so adult so that you can own her? And

<v Speaker 2>I agree with that, but also I am so in

<v Speaker 2>the middle on the marriage thing, because we were together

<v Speaker 2>for eleven years before we got married, and the only

<v Speaker 2>reason that I feel we really decided to get married

<v Speaker 2>was for the legal reasons of we were like scared

<v Speaker 2>that Trump's going to come in office They're gonna potentially

<v Speaker 2>repeal gay marriage, and we wanted to make sure that

<v Speaker 2>like all of our rights as each other is life

<v Speaker 2>partner are there. And we bought a house together, and

<v Speaker 2>you know, I don't know, we just wanted our love

<v Speaker 2>to be respected. And I also feel like, yeah, I

<v Speaker 2>could have just called her my wife this whole time,

<v Speaker 2>even before we were married. But now we're legally married,

<v Speaker 2>so it's like it's all legal and she's my wife

<v Speaker 2>and not my girlfriend. Because the thing that always sucked,

<v Speaker 2>and I'm sure you have this is when you say

<v Speaker 2>my girlfriend, people are like, oh, your friend.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I used to have girlfriends that did this, And

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, but.

<v Speaker 2>Did you fuck your love friends?

<v Speaker 1>Exactly?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So when I say wife, people usually get that.

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, his wife is like yeah, exactly, even though

<v Speaker 1>she was your wife in your heart, yeah, always in

<v Speaker 1>my heart.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. So then we cut to them driving home, so

<v Speaker 2>it's like Harper and Abby are driving home to Harper's

<v Speaker 2>like house and I don't know upstate or wherever she lives. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>like she's so fucking rich. This later, but then Abby's like,

<v Speaker 2>you know when like I told you about how I

<v Speaker 2>told my parents about us and like came out to

<v Speaker 2>them and it went really well, and she's like yeah,

<v Speaker 2>She's like that actually didn't happen. And she's like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>it didn't go well, and she's like, no, I didn't

<v Speaker 2>tell them, Like what the fuck? Yeah, So they're like

<v Speaker 2>on the way, and then she's basically like, you know,

<v Speaker 2>I'm going to tell her while we're here. I'm going

<v Speaker 2>to tell my parents while we're here, which goes back

<v Speaker 2>to like the Lesbon movie. Yes stupid. And then she's like,

<v Speaker 2>but like for now, like can you I just told

<v Speaker 2>them that you're my roommate and you're an orphan, like

<v Speaker 2>you don't have any parents and you have no family,

<v Speaker 2>so like they were like, yeah, of course you can bring.

<v Speaker 1>Her, Oh my god, yeah, and she's all she wants

<v Speaker 1>you to be straight.

<v Speaker 2>Yes I didn't yet to the part, but yeh. She

<v Speaker 2>like tells her to pretend to be straight, which also

<v Speaker 2>reminds me of the L word when I don't remember exactly.

<v Speaker 2>There went to event when she's family. She had her

<v Speaker 2>pretend to be straight.

<v Speaker 1>And she made her wear that dress, yes, taking.

<v Speaker 2>Her hair, and then she had to dance with this

<v Speaker 2>short man and she's like all tall and gay, and

<v Speaker 2>I think it was like she was leading and he

<v Speaker 2>was like no, He's like.

<v Speaker 1>No, no, let me.

<v Speaker 2>She's like no, the hell. So it reminded me of

<v Speaker 2>that because Kristen Stewart's character is pretty obviously gay. But

<v Speaker 2>I guess some people that are like, don't know any

<v Speaker 2>gay people might.

<v Speaker 1>Be like, okay, I guess she's straight.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah. And then, like we've talked about, there are some

<v Speaker 2>people where I'm like, that is a lesbian and then

<v Speaker 2>they're like my husband and I'm like, oh, you just

<v Speaker 2>have like, you know, kind of a butch haircut and style.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's we've talked about like midwestern.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, So yeah, I know. My wife was talking about

<v Speaker 2>that the other day about someone she met and she's

<v Speaker 2>like I was like, yes, I'm so glad I met

<v Speaker 2>another lesbian. And then she started talking about her husband

<v Speaker 2>and she's like, whoa, she's just appropriating them by lesbian

<v Speaker 2>culture by wearing flannels all the time. So anyway. So

<v Speaker 2>they get to the house Abby, Oh yeah, I was like,

<v Speaker 2>she's rich, rich, Like they pulled to the giant house

<v Speaker 2>with like a giant driveway and when they get in,

<v Speaker 2>the mom opens the door and immediately like takes a

<v Speaker 2>picture of them for Instagram. She's like, I started on

<v Speaker 2>Instagram because your dad is running for mayor. Yeah, because

<v Speaker 2>he kept pronouncing it mayor. He's like, I'm in your

<v Speaker 2>new I'm gonna be your new mayor.

<v Speaker 1>Mayor. Like, I feel like we shortened words down, so

<v Speaker 1>it makes me mad, Like, okay, how do you you're

<v Speaker 1>you know when someone has served in the military, yea,

<v Speaker 1>and now they are a word that starts with the V.

<v Speaker 2>How do you pronounce that word?

<v Speaker 1>Veteran? Yes?

<v Speaker 2>Me too. What people say veteran all the time and

<v Speaker 2>it annoys me. And it's the same as mayor. It's

<v Speaker 2>like I say Veterans Day and everyone at my work

<v Speaker 2>says Veterans Day and I'm like.

<v Speaker 1>You guys, here are you guys?

<v Speaker 2>No, it's better, And it's the same way with mayor.

<v Speaker 2>It's a mayor, but they say mayor like a horse

<v Speaker 2>like a mayor. Yeah, And I don't know. It just

<v Speaker 2>annoys me. But I don't know. I probably do that

<v Speaker 2>with some words too, and I can't think of him

<v Speaker 2>because these words annoy me. But so she's like, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>I'm doing the social media for your dad for his campaign.

<v Speaker 2>And then Jane, who is one of the sisters of Harper,

<v Speaker 2>shows up and she's so awkward and I love her.

<v Speaker 1>I know, she's so cute.

<v Speaker 2>I love her so much. She's like, she's like, I'm

<v Speaker 2>sorry about your parents, and like goes and gives her

<v Speaker 2>a hug, and she's like, it's okay, they died like

<v Speaker 2>ten years ago, like you know, it's just like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>so sad, like, and then they show us the dad

<v Speaker 2>and he is the one guy from Titanic, which we've

<v Speaker 2>talked about is my favorite when he ever he is.

<v Speaker 2>He's not the captain, but he's like a bit he's

<v Speaker 2>like maybe the designer or builder. He's like a big

<v Speaker 2>guy in charge of the ship. And at the end

<v Speaker 2>when it's going down, he's like in the room and

<v Speaker 2>he's like, gonna go down with this ship like dido, Right, Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>that's how you say it.

<v Speaker 3>When she's like, oh, we'll go down with this shit,

<v Speaker 3>I will put mine, okay, So, oh my god, I

<v Speaker 3>think she was inspired by him.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, so then I was like, Abby is so obviously gay.

<v Speaker 2>It's funny, and she looks really pretty. And I love

<v Speaker 2>her teeth, which is really important because her teeth are

<v Speaker 2>kind of not perfect. They're kind of like bunny teeth,

<v Speaker 2>Like she has like the really big front two teeth.

<v Speaker 2>But because now in Hollywood, everybody that's famous years, so

<v Speaker 2>they all have been years and they're all perfect and

<v Speaker 2>the same size. Yeah, and there is definitely something, you know,

<v Speaker 2>I understand wanting to like fix your teeth or have

<v Speaker 2>like nicer teeth. And definitely if your teeth are like

<v Speaker 2>bothering you, I understand, or especially if they're like really

<v Speaker 2>bothering you, like healthwise type of thing, where like people

<v Speaker 2>were like they're really like they can't bite things. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>the fight is off, but man, I love natural teeth.

<v Speaker 2>I just I loved seeing her teeth that aren't perfect,

<v Speaker 2>and it made me, oh of Lisbon.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I forgot the blonde girl.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, her teeth were so cute. I think we're cute.

<v Speaker 2>And so that reminds me of my wife got braces

<v Speaker 2>and before she's like obsessed with teeth ever since before

<v Speaker 2>she got the braces because she was learning about braces

<v Speaker 2>and blah blah. But anyway, she was always very insecure

<v Speaker 2>about her teeth before. But I thought her teeth was

<v Speaker 2>so cute.

<v Speaker 1>It was so cute.

<v Speaker 2>She had like one like little one that was kind

<v Speaker 2>of like hidden behind on the side and it was

<v Speaker 2>like crooked and she would like smile like to try

<v Speaker 2>to hide it. But I thought it was the cutest tooth.

<v Speaker 2>And when I met her brother, he kind of has

<v Speaker 2>the same teeth. I mean, they literally looked the same,

<v Speaker 2>except he's a man, but like, and it's funny because

<v Speaker 2>they're not technically twins, but they're like ten months apart,

<v Speaker 2>so they're basically like, I don't know, they look the same,

<v Speaker 2>and he has I think hers was a little bit

<v Speaker 2>like more extreme than his, But yeah, I just I

<v Speaker 2>just think it's a cute little like family like.

<v Speaker 1>Little family trade.

<v Speaker 2>And my family trade is having tiny teeth, like baby teeth,

<v Speaker 2>but we're adults and so it's a different trade. But

<v Speaker 2>you know what, I used to always want veneers when

<v Speaker 2>I was younger, and now as I've gotten older, I'm like, no,

<v Speaker 2>I think I'm gonna get a visil line to fix

<v Speaker 2>the bottom.

<v Speaker 1>Yes, yes, yes.

<v Speaker 2>My dentist told me, like I think I might have

<v Speaker 2>talked about this on here. I don't know, but like,

<v Speaker 2>as you get older, your palette, like your jaw gets smaller,

<v Speaker 2>it narrows, and so since I'm old now, apparently that's

<v Speaker 2>happening to me. And so even though my teeth are

<v Speaker 2>really tiny, they're starting to get a little crowded on

<v Speaker 2>the bottom. So I went and I did like a

<v Speaker 2>consult for a visiline and they're like, oh, like you

<v Speaker 2>only need to wear it for like six months, like

<v Speaker 2>it's just a little bit. Wow, So just a little bit.

<v Speaker 2>They're mostly straight, and I was like okay, and he's like,

<v Speaker 2>you can will do the top and I was like okay,

<v Speaker 2>but I don't want to do the top because I

<v Speaker 2>want to keep my gap. And he's like, it's okay,

<v Speaker 2>we can just not fix the gap. Oh. I'm like,

<v Speaker 2>I like my gap to remember my gap was really

<v Speaker 2>a popular Yeah the London looks.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I wanted, so I was like, no I should.

<v Speaker 2>AnyWho, So I like christ and Steward's teeth. Then the

<v Speaker 2>mom is talking about the other sister, Sloan, and how

<v Speaker 2>she has a husband and kids and she's like, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>Sloan has a husband and kids and they used to

<v Speaker 2>have fancy jobs but now they make gift baskets. But

<v Speaker 2>they have a beautiful family. And then they show a

<v Speaker 2>picture of Harper's old boyfriend and that's weird. And then

<v Speaker 2>Abby is like, oh, yeah, I've had like a lot

<v Speaker 2>of boyfriends, well like a normal amount of boyfriends, like

<v Speaker 2>not too many, but like, you know, I've had boyfriends,

<v Speaker 2>and you know, I'm actually going through a breakup right now,

<v Speaker 2>you know. And they're like oh, and she's like, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>he was a milkman. Just so she's doing that explaining,

<v Speaker 2>which is like you can always tell when people are

<v Speaker 2>I mean, I love to talk, so sometimes I'm not

<v Speaker 2>lying and I will just tell you the whole story.

<v Speaker 2>But like for her, it's like you can tell. She's

<v Speaker 2>like he was a milk man.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like oh, oh my god.

<v Speaker 2>Interesting. And then they're like you can't let me show

<v Speaker 2>you down to your room, and Harper's like, wait, she's

<v Speaker 2>not staying with me, and she's like no, Like that

<v Speaker 2>would be weird. Why would we have two grown women,

<v Speaker 2>grown women share a bed. That would be weird. And

<v Speaker 2>I don't understand that because I think even straight people.

<v Speaker 2>I think even straight women are like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 2>it's girls night, like slopper party. Like we can share

<v Speaker 2>a bed, like it's not like sexual, and the bed

<v Speaker 2>look big and they're really skinny, so it's not like

<v Speaker 2>they're not gonna fit in the bed. And yeah, I

<v Speaker 2>mean it's just extra extra gay. Like the thing I

<v Speaker 2>love about There's a lot of things I love about

<v Speaker 2>my life, but one of them is that every night

<v Speaker 2>is girls nine, Like it really is, and it's like

<v Speaker 2>so cute, Like we could be like I'm gonna make

<v Speaker 2>a vegan shark couterie board and like we're gonna like

<v Speaker 2>make fancy mocktails and we're gonna have movie night and

<v Speaker 2>like it's so cute and it's girls night, but then

<v Speaker 2>also we can have sex.

<v Speaker 1>You're like, it is.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think I don't know if I've said this

<v Speaker 2>in the pod, but I've always told while my wife

<v Speaker 2>that I'm the best friend she'll ever have. And I'm like,

<v Speaker 2>because your other friends aren't going down on you, like literally,

<v Speaker 2>you're very honest, Yeah, you never have a better friend.

<v Speaker 2>They're not doing sex stuff with you anyways. So the

<v Speaker 2>next scene is at a fancy restaurant, the family's going

<v Speaker 2>out to dinner, and they invited Harper's high school boyfriend Connor,

<v Speaker 2>which is so fucking weird, but they love him and

<v Speaker 2>they want them to be back together. And then they

<v Speaker 2>give Abby this awkward extra chair because like they only

<v Speaker 2>had the table set for enough people, Like they gave

<v Speaker 2>Connor a seat, and then they gave her a weird

<v Speaker 2>extra chair, so she looks like she's in like a

<v Speaker 2>kid's chair, Like she's all down, really low, and like

<v Speaker 2>the family is tall anyway, so if anyone should have

<v Speaker 2>the extra chair, it should probably be Harper because she's

<v Speaker 2>like six feet tall, and so she would still probably

<v Speaker 2>be like.

<v Speaker 1>At a level.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but you guys, Krista Stewart is.

<v Speaker 1>Like she's short, well she's shorter.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, remember I looked up she's five to seven. She's

<v Speaker 2>like five six or five seven, But she looks short

<v Speaker 2>in comparison because I think that, Yeah, I think specifically

<v Speaker 2>Harper is really tall, and I think that the boyfriend

<v Speaker 2>is also like six something.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>Anyway, some that's already giving the vibe of like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>she's like left out, but it's because they think she's

<v Speaker 2>just her roommate, Like her roommate it's like fucked up.

<v Speaker 2>And then Jane is telling everyone about her book that

<v Speaker 2>she's writing and she's really into it, and I think

<v Speaker 2>that just goes to show that like she's kind of

<v Speaker 2>like the misfit of the family because she's like she's

<v Speaker 2>like writing like a fantasy like type of book. And yeah,

<v Speaker 2>she's like just kind of different. She doesn't fit in

<v Speaker 2>with their like boring straight lace like very elegant. Yeah yeah.

<v Speaker 2>And then Harper and Abby go to the bathroom. There's

<v Speaker 2>another great thing about being a lesbian, just yourselves in books,

<v Speaker 2>go to the bathroom if you want to talk about

<v Speaker 2>something or whatever. Okay, So then Harper and Abby go

<v Speaker 2>to the bathroom and Harper is like, I'm so sorry

<v Speaker 2>about the weirdness. And then they kiss and I'm annoyed

<v Speaker 2>because why would you hide Abby? That's rude. Also, like

<v Speaker 2>I said, she's super hot in this so extra why

<v Speaker 2>would you ride it? And then as they're leaving, they

<v Speaker 2>run into Aubrey Plaza who is named Riley and she's

<v Speaker 2>giving dumpem business woman vibes and apparently that was Harper's

<v Speaker 2>ex and Abby had heard of her because she's like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>that was Riley and she's like the Riley, so she

<v Speaker 2>knows that that was her like first, her first Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>And also we find out that Riley is a doctor,

<v Speaker 2>and that's very fancy. But the parents are like, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>I bet her parents are proud, especially since she made

<v Speaker 2>that interesting lifestyle choice. Like they're talking about her being

<v Speaker 2>a lesbian in a negative way, so.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they're like disappointing.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like even though she's a literal doctor, They're like,

<v Speaker 2>it's at least she can be if she's a liveian. Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>And then Abby tells them that she's working on her

<v Speaker 2>PhD in art history, and I was like, everyone is

<v Speaker 2>so fancy, Like the family is like fancy and rich,

<v Speaker 2>but like, also I feel that Abby is kind of

<v Speaker 2>fancy because her parents were both professors. Yes, it was

<v Speaker 2>like fancy school, Carnegie something some Frankie Mellen. Yeah yeah,

<v Speaker 2>And and she is finishing up her PhD in art history.

<v Speaker 2>So I was like, she fits right in.

<v Speaker 1>She does.

<v Speaker 2>She's also fancy. I would feel weird because I would

<v Speaker 2>have to be like, oh I didn't I didn't do

<v Speaker 2>school like what. So yeah, so they fit right in.

<v Speaker 2>So later that night, the mom who is named Tipper,

<v Speaker 2>which is such a life such a weird. It's like, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>al Gore's wife or I don't know, yeah, I think

<v Speaker 2>they still are alive. I don't know, and alive if

<v Speaker 2>they're alive, maybe I think they are.

<v Speaker 1>I know, I thought, Okay, okay.

<v Speaker 2>So Tipper comes in and with Harper to come to

<v Speaker 2>Abby's room to visit, and then the mom leaves and

<v Speaker 2>asks Harper to come up after they have their little

<v Speaker 2>girl talk. So I was like, yes, like a free

<v Speaker 2>night is girls night. Later have their girl talk, but

<v Speaker 2>it's like she's trying to get fucked, I think, but

<v Speaker 2>the mom does not understand. And anyway, she's like, when

<v Speaker 2>you're done with your girl talk, come up for a

<v Speaker 2>little early Christmas present. And then anyway, Abby calls John

<v Speaker 2>and we find out he forgot to feed the fish,

<v Speaker 2>and that's why I was like, I'm so mad at him.

<v Speaker 2>It's literally not that hard. And she tells him Harper

<v Speaker 2>isn't out, and she's like it's dumb, and then but

<v Speaker 2>she says she's still going to stay and like whatever.

<v Speaker 2>And the next morning, Abby wakes up to Sloan's twins

<v Speaker 2>staring at her. They came downstairs. I guess that's usually

<v Speaker 2>where they sleep, and so they're just like staring at her.

<v Speaker 1>What does she doing?

<v Speaker 2>And they're like who are you? And so anyway, then

<v Speaker 2>Sloan comes down and she's like, kids, get out of here. Sorry,

<v Speaker 2>I'm Sloan and like, okay. It's also kind of like

<v Speaker 2>I don't know if she gives up very like snooty vibes. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>And then we see Sloane and Harper being bitchy to

<v Speaker 2>each other in the kitchen, so we kind of see

<v Speaker 2>that they have like a weird like competitive type of relationship.

<v Speaker 2>And then Sloane's husband Eric tells Abby to put moisturizer

<v Speaker 2>on her hands, and so I was like, is he gay?

<v Speaker 2>Are they trying to say he's gay? But he's not gay,

<v Speaker 2>He's just he's giving white two que metrosexual. He's like your.

<v Speaker 1>Hands's like cocon oil will do, yeah.

<v Speaker 2>Like cocine oil on there. Also, are they trying to

<v Speaker 2>be like she's a lesbian because she has like rough hands,

<v Speaker 2>like she works with her hands.

<v Speaker 1>Oh, I don't know. I didn't catch that.

<v Speaker 2>I don't mean, I mean she's thought. He was just like,

<v Speaker 2>I don't know why she would be doing things like

<v Speaker 2>rough outside. I don't know I don't know what she does.

<v Speaker 1>That's true.

<v Speaker 2>They do live in the snow, so yeah, yeah. And

<v Speaker 2>then the dad is like, okay, we're going to meet

<v Speaker 2>a very important donor for my mayor campaign may party,

<v Speaker 2>and so then we cut to the siblings and the

<v Speaker 2>kids and they're all ice skating and Abby doesn't know

<v Speaker 2>how to ice skate, so she is kind of like

<v Speaker 2>left by herself, holding on to this like reindeer thing

<v Speaker 2>that's like a like a blocker for like ice skating.

<v Speaker 2>Like yeah, and Sloana and Harper start a weird competition

<v Speaker 2>and they make Jane time them, so we're seeing the

<v Speaker 2>sibling dynamic. They're very competitive with each other, and Jane

<v Speaker 2>is kind of always like left out and they're like,

<v Speaker 2>you just be the timer. And then that night they

<v Speaker 2>take family photos in front of the Christmas tree and

<v Speaker 2>they have Abby take the picture and I think that

<v Speaker 2>is so sad, and I wrote Abby looks so hot

<v Speaker 2>and also so gay. Okay, So then we meet the

<v Speaker 2>important donor, Harry Levine or Levin, and it's a woman

<v Speaker 2>I think her name is Harriet, and it's the person

<v Speaker 2>I think Anna Gustaire that played the mom in Mean Girls.

<v Speaker 2>She right she's the one that played Katie's mom in

<v Speaker 2>Mean Girls, the original Mean Girls. Pretty sure if I'm wrong.

<v Speaker 1>I think so.

<v Speaker 2>I don't think I'm wrong, though, Yeah, And so Abby

<v Speaker 2>and Harper make eye contact from far away. I think

<v Speaker 2>I might have meant to say Abby and Riley at

<v Speaker 2>this point, because there's like a point where they look

<v Speaker 2>at each other, but I don't think it's that important. Whatever.

<v Speaker 2>And then Sloane asks Abby about them being roommates, and

<v Speaker 2>Abby's like, oh, yeah, like I moved in like a

<v Speaker 2>year ago or six months ago or whatever. And she's like,

<v Speaker 2>you moved in to her house appointment. Yeah, she has

<v Speaker 2>a one bedroom and she's like, oh yeah, like I

<v Speaker 2>sleep in the pantry.

<v Speaker 1>She's like, we've converted it into like a room. She

<v Speaker 1>there's so much room. It's a two bedroom now.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, so weird. And then she is so funny. She

<v Speaker 2>reminds me of my wife, Sloane, because she's like, Okay,

<v Speaker 2>I don't want to have this conversation anymore, and she

<v Speaker 2>just leaves, and I'm like, I'm done something that wah

<v Speaker 2>would dude, she'd be like, hmmm, I don't want to

<v Speaker 2>do this anymore. So I'm gonna skit Dad a lot

<v Speaker 2>out of here. And so then Connor shows up again

<v Speaker 2>and starts talking to hyper Harper, Harper and her high

<v Speaker 2>school friends, and I was like, this is so weird

<v Speaker 2>and awkward for Abby. And then Connor pulls Harper aside

<v Speaker 2>and asks her to hang out and I hate this.

<v Speaker 2>And then John calls Abby and is like what the fuck?

<v Speaker 2>You shouldn't be in the closet, and I said, he's right,

<v Speaker 2>but he's also a bad person because he killed the

<v Speaker 2>fish and he's trying to hide.

<v Speaker 1>He's pluging the fish down, yeah, and.

<v Speaker 2>He's like trying to hide it when he's like where

<v Speaker 2>do I buy these exact same fish? And Riley and

<v Speaker 2>Abby start talking outside and I do agree that they

<v Speaker 2>would be cut together. Riley tells Abby that she can relate,

<v Speaker 2>and she's like, to what, But it's because Riley overheard

<v Speaker 2>her on the phone with John, and so she kind

<v Speaker 2>of assumed that something similar to what happened with her

<v Speaker 2>and Harper is happening. And then she's like to what

<v Speaker 2>and she's like, oh, nothing, never mind. And then I

<v Speaker 2>was like, they're wearing similar jackets because they're both lesbians.

<v Speaker 2>And I was like, I like, your jacket. Yes, out

<v Speaker 2>like the jacket, and then the dad is giving a

<v Speaker 2>speech and Abby and Harper hold fingers and Sloane sees this,

<v Speaker 2>so I feel like she's like, she's.

<v Speaker 1>Like, what the fuck kind of weird.

<v Speaker 2>And that night we see Abby brushing her teeth and

<v Speaker 2>Harper texts her a sexy picture of her clavicle and

<v Speaker 2>boob area from the room.

<v Speaker 1>And it makes it so funny lost I know my wife.

<v Speaker 2>She's like, you can't chow collar balls. That's scandalous for her.

<v Speaker 1>It's literally like this part of it, yeah, I haven't even.

<v Speaker 2>So much like cleeping ge it was like look. So

<v Speaker 2>then so obviously I feel like she's trying to be

<v Speaker 2>like you want to come up here and like gets home? Yeah, like,

<v Speaker 2>and so she tries to sneak up to go and

<v Speaker 2>get her and she has to hide in the closet

<v Speaker 2>from her mom, from Tipper, the Harper's mom, and she

<v Speaker 2>texts Harper for help, and then the room bugg goes

<v Speaker 2>off in the closet and so it's like like and

<v Speaker 2>then and then Harper's Abby is like, oh my god, look,

<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, you're bad. So anyway, the mom catches

<v Speaker 2>her and is like, what are you doing? And she's like,

<v Speaker 2>oh my god, I fall I was sleepwalking. And then

<v Speaker 2>Harper ended up while this was happening. She snuck into

<v Speaker 2>Abby's room and they're going to do sex stuff, and

<v Speaker 2>then Harper falls asleep down there, which is like lost

<v Speaker 2>and delirious when they were doing sex stuff and they asleep,

<v Speaker 2>and then in the morning someone sees them because in

<v Speaker 2>the morning nightmare. Yeah, she just says nightmarees okay. So

<v Speaker 2>then the mom knocks on the door to wake her up,

<v Speaker 2>and she's like, oh my god, give me just a minute.

<v Speaker 2>And so then like Harper hides behind the door and

<v Speaker 2>she opens it and she's wearing her little wife please

<v Speaker 2>her and I wrote again that she looks really hot.

<v Speaker 2>So I think that my new hall pass is Christmas Steward.

<v Speaker 2>I stop talking about it, okay. So, so Harper's hiding

<v Speaker 2>behind the door and the twins see her through the crack,

<v Speaker 2>but they don't say anything, and they're like, they're like,

<v Speaker 2>don't say yeah. And so then in the kitchen they

<v Speaker 2>talk about white elephant and how they always do it

<v Speaker 2>but no one told Abby about it. So like white elephant,

<v Speaker 2>if you don't know, is like everybody gets a gift

<v Speaker 2>and then you can like steal it from other people,

<v Speaker 2>like as you go around. So it's different than Secret

<v Speaker 2>Sannah because anyone can pick any gift and then you

<v Speaker 2>do the stealing. And so Abby has to go with

<v Speaker 2>Sloane and the kids to the mall to get a

<v Speaker 2>gift because everybody else is busy doing other stuff. And

<v Speaker 2>they go to the mall and Abby ends up having

<v Speaker 2>a babysit the twins while Sloane goes and buys them

<v Speaker 2>a present. And then they ask her why was Harper

<v Speaker 2>hiding in your room? And She's like, oh, we were

<v Speaker 2>playing hide and seek. And then the little girl twin

<v Speaker 2>puts a necklace in Abby's bag, which is so weird

<v Speaker 2>and I know, so little asshole. And then Abbie, this

<v Speaker 2>is so weird that Abby did this. Abby sees a

<v Speaker 2>friend of the family that she met once for like

<v Speaker 2>in passing last night. Her name's Carolyn, and she says

<v Speaker 2>hi to her, and I think she should have just

<v Speaker 2>ignored her, because the woman is like, who are you,

<v Speaker 2>Like she doesn't even recognize her.

<v Speaker 1>I feel like she's just trying to be nice, I know.

<v Speaker 2>But I went over to talk to her and I'm like, dude,

<v Speaker 2>just weird.

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you can just do a little wave. Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>Anyway, She's like she didn't recognize her, she is a cunt.

<v Speaker 2>The alarm goes off when she tries to leave, and

<v Speaker 2>security is all aggressively interrogating her about it. And one

<v Speaker 2>of those security officers is uh Lauren Lapiz, who played

<v Speaker 2>one of the CEOs in or Just a New Black,

<v Speaker 2>So there's a lesbian connection. I don't think she was

<v Speaker 2>a lesbian in there, but it was a gay show. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>And when she gets home, Carolyn has already told everybody

<v Speaker 2>in the family like, oh, by the way, that girl,

<v Speaker 2>your daughter's friend is a thief and she was shoplifting,

<v Speaker 2>and so now they won't let her go to dinner

<v Speaker 2>because she's a shoplifter. And it pisses me off. I

<v Speaker 2>hate this family. They're like all all they care about is.

<v Speaker 1>Like, what the reputation? Yeah, it's so stupid, And Harper's like,

<v Speaker 1>I know you didn't steal it, but like you shouldn't

<v Speaker 1>come to the dinner. We can meet up after, and

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, what the fuck?

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what did I feel like? I don't know because

<v Speaker 2>I don't come from like a weird political like rich family. Like,

<v Speaker 2>I get it, there's different pressures, but like I feel

<v Speaker 2>like I would be like, well, if she can't go,

<v Speaker 2>then I'm not gonna go. You guys just go to dinner.

<v Speaker 1>Without yeah even yeah exactly.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, But instead she does go with them, and so

<v Speaker 2>she's like, let's go out after dinner, you know, and

<v Speaker 2>then Abby's like, okay, whatever. And Abby goes to a

<v Speaker 2>restaurant by herself and then walks around town and then

<v Speaker 2>she sees Riley and they start talking. So they go

<v Speaker 2>to a bar together where Jinks and Bendola Krem are performing.

<v Speaker 2>So if you're not a drag Race person, I guess

<v Speaker 2>you wouldn't know who they are.

<v Speaker 1>But I know, Barry, oh my.

<v Speaker 2>God, I know.

<v Speaker 1>I was like me, She's like, oh cool.

<v Speaker 2>I'm like, yeah, you don't know, Oh my god. Okay,

<v Speaker 2>Well it's Jinx Monsoon and Bendola Krem, who are both

<v Speaker 2>from different seasons of drag Race, and they I feel

<v Speaker 2>like they both have done Christmasy.

<v Speaker 1>Type of shows stuff in the past.

<v Speaker 2>Bendela is very Christmasy. Yeah, so it's cute that they

<v Speaker 2>have them in here. And then Riley asked Abby what

<v Speaker 2>Harper has told her about them, and she's like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>I just know that you were her first girlfriend. And

<v Speaker 2>Riley's like, well, there's more to it because we were

<v Speaker 2>freshmen in high school, I think, and we were hiding

<v Speaker 2>our relationship and one of Harper's friends found a letter

<v Speaker 2>that I wrote to her and she was like, oh

<v Speaker 2>my god, Riley is a creepy lesbian and she's like

<v Speaker 2>obsessed with me, and it basically like ruined her high

<v Speaker 2>school life. So she kind of did do the same

<v Speaker 2>type of thing. So I'm like, you didn't learn fifteen

<v Speaker 2>years later, like I'm not such a bitch anyway. So

<v Speaker 2>she said what she meant before was that she can

<v Speaker 2>relate to being in love with someone who's afraid to

<v Speaker 2>show the world who they are, and that's sad. And

<v Speaker 2>then Abby and Riley are having fun together and it's cute,

<v Speaker 2>I know, yeah, And then Harper texts Abby and she

<v Speaker 2>leaves to go meet her at a boring straight bar

<v Speaker 2>called Fraddy's. Like this sounds like a terrible this sounds

<v Speaker 2>like a sausag, a terrible place to go, and she's

<v Speaker 2>drunk and annoying already, and Connor is there, of course,

<v Speaker 2>and Abby decides to go home because she's like, I'm

<v Speaker 2>not having fun, and Harper is like, oh, I want

<v Speaker 2>to stay a little longer.

<v Speaker 1>So is it okay?

<v Speaker 2>Wait? You know I home to it is annoying, But

<v Speaker 2>also that would have been me when I was drinking,

<v Speaker 2>because I love to get drunk, So I'm sure I

<v Speaker 2>did that to what many times? Like please want to

<v Speaker 2>be I know, I know she loves me, my baby, Okay.

<v Speaker 2>So then she's like, I won't be out too late,

<v Speaker 2>but we know that's true because she's drunk and time

<v Speaker 2>gets away from you when you're like drinking, you're jockey. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>And so we see Abby texting her later and she's

<v Speaker 2>still not responding and it's like one something in the morning,

<v Speaker 2>and then we see Harper having fun eating fries with

<v Speaker 2>Connor alone, so it looks like everybody else left and

<v Speaker 2>it's just h and it's just them too, yeah, and

<v Speaker 2>he's like they're like about to like go home, separate whatever.

<v Speaker 2>And he's like, hey, like was there someone else? And

<v Speaker 2>she's like what And he's like like when we broke up, like, uh,

<v Speaker 2>was there somebody else? And that's why? And she's like no,

<v Speaker 2>remember I told you, Like it was the distance and

<v Speaker 2>blah blah blah, and she's like He's like, m I

<v Speaker 2>don't know. He just seems like he didn't believe her.

<v Speaker 2>She's like, no, it's just a long distance, like all yeah,

<v Speaker 2>but anyway, so I feel like, you know, he still

<v Speaker 2>loves her. In the morning, we see that Harper got

<v Speaker 2>home at two twelve am and Abby goes up to

<v Speaker 2>wake her up slash check on her, and Harper is

<v Speaker 2>such a bitch about it.

<v Speaker 1>She rude, she was already last night. I was like,

<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is wrong with you? Like this entire movie.

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, you were such a fucking bitch. I know, like,

<v Speaker 1>what the fuck is Abby doing with you? No, genuinely, I.

<v Speaker 2>Know she could get so much better. And I was like,

<v Speaker 2>why are you keeping tabs on me? And it's like, uh, well,

<v Speaker 2>first of all, you're in a very serious relationship, so

<v Speaker 2>it makes sense that she would know where.

<v Speaker 1>You can say I love you. At the end of that,

<v Speaker 1>she's just like, got home safe night. Yeah, she didn't

<v Speaker 1>say I love you, like did I he or anything.

<v Speaker 2>She was just like and I'm like, also, she brought

<v Speaker 2>her to her hometown and she keeps ditching her like

<v Speaker 2>she doesn't know anyone else, so like, of course she's

<v Speaker 2>going to be like keeping tabs on her because it's

<v Speaker 2>like awkwards when you're in a place and you don't

<v Speaker 2>know anyone else and then the person keeps ditching you.

<v Speaker 2>And then Abby tries to get an uber like to

<v Speaker 2>go home, but it's too expensive. And then John calls

<v Speaker 2>her and says sorry for being so judgmental, and she's like,

<v Speaker 2>I don't know, should I stick it out for two

<v Speaker 2>more days? And he's like, I don't know, I need

<v Speaker 2>to think about it. Like what his advice to her

<v Speaker 2>is her he's at the fish store trying to buy fish.

<v Speaker 1>Build the fish.

<v Speaker 2>And then she calls Riley and then they go shopping

<v Speaker 2>for a white elephant, and then Harper tects her and says, sorry,

<v Speaker 2>but I said it should be over. She sucks, and

<v Speaker 2>then Harper sees Abby and Riley walking by together, and

<v Speaker 2>then she knocks over all the wine that she and

<v Speaker 2>Jane went to pick up. Good thing, her family's so

<v Speaker 2>fucking rich, so it's nothing. I could just buy another

<v Speaker 2>case of wine. And then we got to the face

<v Speaker 2>only home and the mom's being a bitch to everyone

<v Speaker 2>because she's really stressed about the party, and she basically

<v Speaker 2>accuses Abby of stealing her brooch because now she thinks

<v Speaker 2>she's the thief. She's like, I haven't seen my brooch

<v Speaker 2>and like it's okay if it just shows up somewhere

<v Speaker 2>like blah blah blah. And I'm like, this is so annoying.

<v Speaker 2>I hate this whole family except for Jane.

<v Speaker 1>And then you know, Jane's the only like good I.

<v Speaker 2>Know and it's like I feel like they don't like

<v Speaker 2>her because they think she's weird, and I'm like, she's

<v Speaker 2>the least weird because she's actually like she's actually and

<v Speaker 2>so Abby tries to explain the shoplifting thing was a

<v Speaker 2>misunderstanding and the dad doesn't seem to believe her, and

<v Speaker 2>then Jane comes in and brings her masterpiece white elephant gift.

<v Speaker 2>It's like giant and it's crapped. And then Harper comes

<v Speaker 2>downstairs and she's being a bitch, asking like, so what

<v Speaker 2>did you do today? Because she saw that she was

<v Speaker 2>with Riley and it's like, bitch, she should be able

<v Speaker 2>to go.

<v Speaker 1>She only met.

<v Speaker 2>One person there, like, and you keep ditching her, so

<v Speaker 2>she should be able to hang out with her. And

<v Speaker 2>then at the party is wearing a scandalous outfit. In

<v Speaker 2>my opinion, I was like, she looks hot, but her

<v Speaker 2>shirt is unbuttoned so far. And this is one of

<v Speaker 2>those things where it's somehow okay if you have small

<v Speaker 2>boobs for it to be unbuttoned really low. Like I

<v Speaker 2>think I talked about this. I had this coworker that

<v Speaker 2>also happened to be a lesbian, and she had no boobs,

<v Speaker 2>and she would have her shirt like unbuttoned like to hear.

<v Speaker 2>But if I wore anything even like up here, I

<v Speaker 2>would get like dress coded by the boss, like, oh,

<v Speaker 2>you have to go home. And I'm like, well, I'm

<v Speaker 2>sorry that I have these yellow bags of fat on

<v Speaker 2>my chest. She doesn't. That's not fair. She can just

<v Speaker 2>have it. So so anyway, whatever, she looks hot, and

<v Speaker 2>Riley's there and her shirt is also unbuttoned very low.

<v Speaker 2>So I think that they're trying to be like lesbians

<v Speaker 2>wear similar jackets and un buttons their shirts. And I said,

<v Speaker 2>sometimes I wish I had small boobs, but I'm scared

<v Speaker 2>to get a reduction because I might lose feeling in

<v Speaker 2>my nipples. And that happens to like a really high

<v Speaker 2>percentage of people that get breast reductions because part of

<v Speaker 2>a breast production is a lift, and to do the lift,

<v Speaker 2>they have to take your nipple fully off. And my

<v Speaker 2>mom had a had breast implant and a lyft, and

<v Speaker 2>so I her scars are really crazy because it's like

<v Speaker 2>around the nipple and then she has the like they

<v Speaker 2>call it like a lollipop thing, so it's like around

<v Speaker 2>the nipple and then a line down and then there's

<v Speaker 2>the line under where they put the thing. So I

<v Speaker 2>think with a lift, you just get the thing around

<v Speaker 2>your nipple. Anyway, I don't want to lose sensation in

<v Speaker 2>my nipples. I like my nipples, so I guess I

<v Speaker 2>just have to keep my boobs. And then Riley and

<v Speaker 2>Abby spend the party sitting and talking together, and Abby

<v Speaker 2>is obviously preoccupied watching Harper because whatever Riley's telling her,

<v Speaker 2>she's like, oh, yeah, that's crazy, like you know, and

<v Speaker 2>she's like I killed my parents or she says crazy

<v Speaker 2>because she knows she's not listening, and she tells Riley

<v Speaker 2>she wonders who the real Harper is, and also tells

<v Speaker 2>her that she was going to ask her to marry her.

<v Speaker 2>And then Riley is like, you need a drink. I'll

<v Speaker 2>go get you a.

<v Speaker 1>Drink, some real alcohol, yes, a spiced.

<v Speaker 2>Alcohol, and she was like, I don't know, it's a

<v Speaker 2>spice alcohol.

<v Speaker 1>She's like whatever, She's like, no, you need some real alcohol.

<v Speaker 2>And so then John shows up and he walks into

<v Speaker 2>the party and he's like, Abby, I'm Marty. And then

<v Speaker 2>the mom Tipper is like who is this and she's like,

<v Speaker 2>is this the ex? And she's like, yes, this is

<v Speaker 2>my ex straight boyfriend, the milkman John, and he's like yes,

<v Speaker 2>I am a heterosexual man. Like yeah, he's like I

<v Speaker 2>did so well. Yeah, and then he's like I came

<v Speaker 2>to rescue you, which is like what a good friend

<v Speaker 2>would do.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>And then Abby sees Harper being weird with Connor. I

<v Speaker 2>think she's like touching his arm or something, you know,

<v Speaker 2>she's acting like a completely different person. Yeah, and she's

<v Speaker 2>actually very like she's being flirty with him. And I

<v Speaker 2>love this part and I wish it ended right here.

<v Speaker 2>Abby goes up to Harper and says it's over and

<v Speaker 2>just like walks away and I'm like, yeah, bitch, it's over. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>it's over. Leave her, and then Harper follows her to

<v Speaker 2>the basement. Guest room and like Abby's packing all her

<v Speaker 2>stuff and she's like, I can't do this for you anymore.

<v Speaker 2>And Harper is like, no, I don't want Connor. I

<v Speaker 2>want you. And by the way, I saw you with

<v Speaker 2>Riley and so I'm jealous about that. And it's like,

<v Speaker 2>you're stupid, You're just like projecting. Yeah, and Harper is like,

<v Speaker 2>I'm not hiding you, I'm hiding me. But in her

<v Speaker 2>hiding herself, she's also hard exactly. And then she complains

<v Speaker 2>about her poor little rich girl life, and you know,

<v Speaker 2>her family works hard to.

<v Speaker 1>I mean, I guess that's sad.

<v Speaker 2>It is sad that, but it's just it's always funny

<v Speaker 2>because it's like looking from the outside, I mean, everybody

<v Speaker 2>wants what they don't have, right, Like I'm like, oh

<v Speaker 2>my god, she has like parents that are married and

<v Speaker 2>they're rich, Like that's so cool. I wish my parents

<v Speaker 2>had been married to each other still and we're rich.

<v Speaker 2>But they also were like very much about appearances, and

<v Speaker 2>so it gave her this same like she has to

<v Speaker 2>be perfect for them to love her. So everyone has

<v Speaker 2>their own problems, is the point. But at least she

<v Speaker 2>has parents that are alive because poor Abby. Abby heard

<v Speaker 2>her parent's side, and so she says she's scared she'll

<v Speaker 2>lose her family if she tells them who she really is.

<v Speaker 2>But she's also scared because if she doesn't tell them,

<v Speaker 2>then she'll lose Abby. Yeah. And then Abby gives her

<v Speaker 2>a hug and I was like, she's too nice. And

<v Speaker 2>then they're about to kiss, and then Sloane walks in

<v Speaker 2>and catches them, and then Harper's like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 2>please don't tell her parents, and Sloane's like, I'm gonna

<v Speaker 2>go tell them. And so then on the way, they

<v Speaker 2>hear something in the closet and they open it and

<v Speaker 2>they see Eric, Sloane's husband, making out with Carolyn, that

<v Speaker 2>bitch from the mall. Yeah, and I was like, apparently

<v Speaker 2>they have an open marriage or something.

<v Speaker 1>Oh, yes, Okay.

<v Speaker 2>Then we find out later that they're getting a divorce,

<v Speaker 2>so they're like already separated. But the reason I thought

<v Speaker 2>it was an open marriage was because she said, like,

<v Speaker 2>we said we weren't going to tell anyone or something,

<v Speaker 2>so I thought, so they're like, it's just I thought

<v Speaker 2>it was open, but I don't know, that's not it.

<v Speaker 2>They're just breaking up. Sloane and Harper start physically fighting,

<v Speaker 2>and also we see in the living room, because this

<v Speaker 2>is happening like in the hallways, we see in the

<v Speaker 2>living room that Harry the fancy donor opens the masterpiece

<v Speaker 2>painting that Jane made and it's like a painting of

<v Speaker 2>the downtown and it's like beautiful, yeah, and she's kind

<v Speaker 2>of weird about it though, She's like what is this?

<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, why is every so bitch so mean?

<v Speaker 2>I hate them? And Harper and Sloane run into the

<v Speaker 2>middle of the party and they're still fighting, and Jane

<v Speaker 2>is like, you guys, just hug it out like it's okay,

<v Speaker 2>and then Sloane tells everyone that Harper is a lesbian

<v Speaker 2>and Abby is your girlfriend, and then everyone is silent,

<v Speaker 2>and Harper says, no, that's not true. It's a lie.

<v Speaker 2>And I was like, are you fucking kidding me? This

<v Speaker 2>was your opportunity to finally like, you know, yes that

<v Speaker 2>she came out for her, but like this was her

<v Speaker 2>chance to be like yeah, and I love her and

<v Speaker 2>she is perfect and I'm sorry that I was hiding her, yeah,

<v Speaker 2>But instead she keeps on lying and then she sees

<v Speaker 2>how sad Abby is and Abby leaves and goes outside,

<v Speaker 2>and then John goes out with Abby, and then we

<v Speaker 2>see Harper take the beautiful painting and she puts it

<v Speaker 2>over like so she rips it in the middle over

<v Speaker 2>It's like, are you serious? And then Jane starts crying

<v Speaker 2>and it's like, I put a hundred hours into into that,

<v Speaker 2>and that's something, and I am something because she keeps

<v Speaker 2>getting ignored and she's.

<v Speaker 1>Like, I like myself, gus are miserable, and I'm.

<v Speaker 2>Like she was so excited and she was like so proud.

<v Speaker 1>Why are they so mean? She's like, I'm not gonna

<v Speaker 1>be left out?

<v Speaker 2>Yes, And so then outside Abby's crying and John brings

<v Speaker 2>her a jacket and they go on a walk and

<v Speaker 2>she tells him that her parents loved Christmas and that's

<v Speaker 2>why Christmas is so hard for her and she had

<v Speaker 2>high hopes for this year and her life with Harper,

<v Speaker 2>but she doesn't think Harper loves her as much as

<v Speaker 2>she thought she did. And then John tells her Carper

<v Speaker 2>not coming out to her parents has nothing to do

<v Speaker 2>with you, like, yeah, when you came out to your parents',

<v Speaker 2>plm and cry like what did they say? And she's like, well,

<v Speaker 2>they said that, like they love me and they support me,

<v Speaker 2>and she's like, he's like, okay, well when I came out,

<v Speaker 2>my dad kicks me out, didn't talk to me for

<v Speaker 2>thirteen years, and so he's like reminds her, like how

<v Speaker 2>terrifying that moment of coming out to your parents is,

<v Speaker 2>and that not everyone has an accepting family. And then

<v Speaker 2>we see everyone leaving the party and Riley talks to

<v Speaker 2>Harper and she tells Riley sorry, and they shake hands,

<v Speaker 2>and Riley tells her she's a really good one, so

<v Speaker 2>she's like, don't lose her, you know. And then the

<v Speaker 2>dad yells at all the kids about how they ruined

<v Speaker 2>his reputation, and then Abby walks in to get her stuff,

<v Speaker 2>and Harper finally tells them Sloane wasn't lying and she

<v Speaker 2>is gay and she's in love with Abby, and in

<v Speaker 2>my opinion, it's too little, too late. She also tells

<v Speaker 2>them about Riley and how she regrets what she did

<v Speaker 2>to her, and it's silent, and then Sloane tells them

<v Speaker 2>she's getting a divorce, but she was afraid to tell

<v Speaker 2>them because they're so obsessed with like her having this

<v Speaker 2>perfect little family. And then Jane is like, I don't

<v Speaker 2>have any secrets, but I'm an ally.

<v Speaker 1>I love her.

<v Speaker 2>I love her so much. And Abby's like okay, but

<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna go though, and Harper's like, wait, I did it,

<v Speaker 2>and she's like yeah, it's too late, and Harper's crying

<v Speaker 2>but I'm so mean.

<v Speaker 1>I was like, but I don't really care about her.

<v Speaker 2>I don't like her. And then the mom and dad

<v Speaker 2>have a talk like separately, and the mom is like,

<v Speaker 2>this is like really messed up. Like that our parents,

<v Speaker 2>our kids feel like they're afraid of us and they

<v Speaker 2>have to like act like something different for us to

<v Speaker 2>love them, Like we kind of really fucked up. And

<v Speaker 2>then we see the sisters bonding in the kitchen and

<v Speaker 2>the mom comes in and she tells them dad still

<v Speaker 2>needs a little bit of time. And then we see

<v Speaker 2>John and Abby at a gas station getting snacks and

<v Speaker 2>it's so funny because he's like reading the ingredients and

<v Speaker 2>he's like red forty blah blah blah blah blah. And

<v Speaker 2>then he's like, I can't believe the stuff they try

<v Speaker 2>to pass off his food. It's poisoned. But then he

<v Speaker 2>puts it in the box. He's gonna he's gonna buy it,

<v Speaker 2>and I think it's so funny because I do I

<v Speaker 2>do be like that. I'm like, I love talkies. I

<v Speaker 2>don't care what anyone says. I love that Red forty.

<v Speaker 2>I think they're read take they're taking it out now

<v Speaker 2>in California.

<v Speaker 1>I believe so too.

<v Speaker 2>It probably won't taste so good, but.

<v Speaker 1>It's like smuggling the tiki like what It made me laugh.

<v Speaker 1>I think that was the part where she was like, wait,

<v Speaker 1>what about the fish? Oh, like, oh, yeah, we're gonna

<v Speaker 1>have to have a conversation as somebody. Yeah.

<v Speaker 2>He's like he's like they're sorry about the fish or something.

<v Speaker 1>He's like, we're gonna have to have a conversation. And

<v Speaker 1>she's like what's going on with the fish? And then

<v Speaker 1>he's like, okay, I feel like most people would agree

<v Speaker 1>that fish belong in the ocean.

<v Speaker 2>I know. I was like, oh, he's trying to subpit it,

<v Speaker 2>like like how yeah, like they don't belong. Like it

<v Speaker 2>was really fucked up of humans to take them out

<v Speaker 2>of this anyway, So it's okay that they died. So

<v Speaker 2>then Harper pulls up and she parks in the middle

<v Speaker 2>of the parking lot like a typical white person, like

<v Speaker 2>she's literally taking Yes, She's like, oh, nobody else needs

<v Speaker 2>to park because I'm important, and it's so annoying. I

<v Speaker 2>know that it's not like busy right now in the

<v Speaker 2>middle of the night, but it's like other people need

<v Speaker 2>to park. The other day, when we went to PetSmart

<v Speaker 2>for my dog's class, there was a truck that was

<v Speaker 2>taking up three spots and it wasn't in the very

<v Speaker 2>very back like you know how sometimes trailers do that. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>it was just like a big truck. And I was like,

<v Speaker 2>this man obviously is a tiny penis and you know what,

<v Speaker 2>it had a trump sticker on the back, and I

<v Speaker 2>was like, of course, it has a trump sticker on

<v Speaker 2>the back. So I was just very loudly talking about

<v Speaker 2>people just decide to park and take up multiple spots anyway,

<v Speaker 2>So it reminded me of that. But Harper tells Abby

<v Speaker 2>she's the love of her life and that she will

<v Speaker 2>spend her her whole life making it up to her

<v Speaker 2>and asked her for another chance. And I do think

<v Speaker 2>that's really sweet, but also I still don't want them

<v Speaker 2>to be together, but I want happy to be happy,

<v Speaker 2>so I guess so I felt.

<v Speaker 1>I was like, I don't like her, but I mean

<v Speaker 1>it was cute.

<v Speaker 2>Dan. Well, I think about this, and uh, I love

<v Speaker 2>to talk about myself, so I'm going to talk about this.

<v Speaker 2>So when my wife and I were like only dating

<v Speaker 2>for like a year, I did a stupid thing and

<v Speaker 2>I broke up with her and like tried to be

<v Speaker 2>like young, wild and free because I, I don't know,

<v Speaker 2>I was in my aquarius, like I need to be

<v Speaker 2>free and not tied down like Era and her friends

<v Speaker 2>didn't want her to take me back, and she did,

<v Speaker 2>so in that way, I'm like, oh, do I hate

<v Speaker 2>Harper because I am the Harper in the situation, not

<v Speaker 2>that I hid her, but that I was the one

<v Speaker 2>that was an asshole. And other people would be like,

<v Speaker 2>you shouldn't take her back. She sucks, And she did

<v Speaker 2>take me back, so I don't know, maybe I should

<v Speaker 2>be fine with them to go. I don't know. Anyway,

<v Speaker 2>So she does take her back and they kiss and

<v Speaker 2>it's a good kiss. I thought it was. I thought

<v Speaker 2>it was a good kiss that was like a good chemistry.

<v Speaker 2>And on Christmas morning, we see everyone in the living

<v Speaker 2>room of Harper's house except the dad and the twins,

<v Speaker 2>admit to framing Abby for a stealing So I'm glad

<v Speaker 2>that they did that, not that they framed her, but

<v Speaker 2>that they finally admitted him. And then the dad is like, you, guys,

<v Speaker 2>I spent all of our savings on this campaign because

<v Speaker 2>I was trying to make you proud. So he's like,

<v Speaker 2>you guys are spending all of this time trying to

<v Speaker 2>make me proud, but I am also spending my life

<v Speaker 2>trying to make you proud. And they're like, we don't

<v Speaker 2>need that, like we love you. And Jane is like,

<v Speaker 2>I'll take care of all of you when I sell

<v Speaker 2>my book, I mean, and I love her confidence. She's

<v Speaker 2>just like you, guys say, I'm gonna be so rich.

<v Speaker 1>You guys, you don't even have to worry about.

<v Speaker 4>Don't worry.

<v Speaker 2>And then they have a cute nice Christmas and Harry

<v Speaker 2>calls the dad the donor Harry. He calls the dad

<v Speaker 2>and is like, I like you, but if Harper is

<v Speaker 2>willing to adopt a donas don't tell type of thing,

<v Speaker 2>like I'm on board, and he's like no, And so

<v Speaker 2>he's finally like accepting that was his daughter, like and

<v Speaker 2>his family for who they are, you know, and then

<v Speaker 2>they take a photo in front of the tree and

<v Speaker 2>they invite Abby to be in it this time. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>and one year later, we see Jane at a book

<v Speaker 2>reading because her book finally got published and she had

<v Speaker 2>a bunch of fans, so she probably is gonna be

<v Speaker 2>super rich and support the whole family.

<v Speaker 1>And I love how her and John are like besties, yes.

<v Speaker 2>Because I think that's the thing too. John is like

<v Speaker 2>her manager now because I think that's what he did.

<v Speaker 2>He like managed writers. He doesn't And I didn't mention

<v Speaker 2>that in the beginning because I didn't really put it together,

<v Speaker 2>but like, yeah, at one point at the Christmas party,

<v Speaker 2>she was telling him all about her book and he

<v Speaker 2>was really into it, and so then I think he

<v Speaker 2>like made sure that she got it published. So it's

<v Speaker 2>really cool. We also see that Abby and Harper are

<v Speaker 2>engaged now and I love that, and they show that

<v Speaker 2>like they're showing like Instagram pictures. Yeah, it's really cute.

<v Speaker 2>And I love that they show that Harper also got

<v Speaker 2>Abby an engagement ring, because I think that there's this

<v Speaker 2>weird thing. I don't see it as much anymore, but

<v Speaker 2>I don't know, maybe it is still a thing with

<v Speaker 2>some people. But there's like sometimes this weird like almost

<v Speaker 2>like heteronormative thing of like the more masculine lesbian being

<v Speaker 2>the one to ask the more feminine lesbian, and therefore

<v Speaker 2>she gets an engagement ring. Yeah, and the mask one

<v Speaker 2>doesn't get an engagement ring. And I always thought that

<v Speaker 2>was fucked up. Like when we got engaged, I got

<v Speaker 2>on engagement ring. Yeah, but it's too big because she

<v Speaker 2>has the tiniest skinny fingers in the whole world. She's

<v Speaker 2>the skinniest fucking finger She's literally like a size four something.

<v Speaker 2>My god, Yeah, like crazy, so skinny. So I think

<v Speaker 2>she put it on a chain now and sometimes wears

<v Speaker 2>it around her neck. But I'm like, girl, that's so cute. Yeah,

<v Speaker 2>if only she could get like a like a hand bbo.

<v Speaker 2>I mean you came on that finger it's expensive. No,

<v Speaker 2>she has these very beautiful, like I don't know, she

<v Speaker 2>has like sexy like I would say they're like sexy

<v Speaker 2>lesbian hands because they're like she has like the veins

<v Speaker 2>and like the sexy like tendons that I like. But

<v Speaker 2>they're also so skinny. They're so skinny, and it's so

<v Speaker 2>funny because she has like gone up and down in weight,

<v Speaker 2>but no matter if she is like a little heavier

<v Speaker 2>or smaller, her hands are always so skinny. And her

<v Speaker 2>feet she has skinny people feet, and I have like,

<v Speaker 2>I don't know, Fred Flintstone, like like flat fat man feet.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know. They're my dad's feet. She told me

<v Speaker 2>that before, thinking it was a compliment in some way. Oh,

<v Speaker 2>your feet are like you're DoD and I'm like, that's embarrassing.

<v Speaker 2>I don't want to hear that. My feet look like

<v Speaker 2>a man anyway. So everyone is happy now, yay, So okay,

<v Speaker 2>we are going to do much merch murder. So the

<v Speaker 2>options that I put are Jane, Riley, an Abby. I

<v Speaker 2>didn't put Harper because yeah, yeah, I thought that would

<v Speaker 2>make it too obvious. Do you want to go first

<v Speaker 2>this time?

<v Speaker 1>Okay? I really like Jane. I think she's so she's

<v Speaker 1>so cute, she's so sweet and it's almost unique.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah she is.

<v Speaker 1>But I feel like I would merge with Riley. Yeah

<v Speaker 1>I would munch Abby, and unfortunately I would kill Jane,

<v Speaker 1>which is I wish you almost did put Harper so

<v Speaker 1>she could be our like. No, true, Jane did not

<v Speaker 1>deserve this, but I just don't there's you know, I

<v Speaker 1>just think she'd be like a cool friend.

<v Speaker 2>I did make this really hard because now I'm looking

<v Speaker 2>at it and I'm right, well, obviously I would merge

<v Speaker 2>with Abby because I've been thirsty after her this whole fuck.

<v Speaker 1>I'd be surprised if you did it.

<v Speaker 2>I could kill her. I would merge with Abby, you

<v Speaker 2>know what. Aubrey Plasa doesn't do it for me. So

<v Speaker 2>maybe I would munch Jane because I do really like

<v Speaker 2>her uniqueness and she's an ally. Maybe she is also

<v Speaker 2>a little queer. We don't know, because nobody ever pays

<v Speaker 2>attention to her. And then I guess i'd have to

<v Speaker 2>murder Riley, which I feel really bad about.

<v Speaker 4>But sorry, what would you rate this movie on a

<v Speaker 4>scale of one to five. I feel like I didn't

<v Speaker 4>hate it, but I don't know. I think I'm gonna

<v Speaker 4>give it like a three out of five.

<v Speaker 2>I am too, and I had it written that I

<v Speaker 2>was going to give it a too, But then because

<v Speaker 2>I started crying during this episode, I was like, well,

<v Speaker 2>I guess it really moved me.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I guess I like it more than you thought.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, I was just like, oh no, so sad, So yeah,

<v Speaker 2>you know, the first time I watched it, I was

<v Speaker 2>really mad. The second time I watched it, I was

<v Speaker 2>a little less mad. And then I think this was

<v Speaker 2>like the third or fourth time, and now I'm like, eh,

<v Speaker 2>I don't hate it. I just don't love it.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's how I feel.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So we're gonna take another little break, ye, But

<v Speaker 2>I want to say that if you're enjoying the podcast,

<v Speaker 2>please head over to Instagram and or TikTok and follow

<v Speaker 2>to stay up to date on our newest episodes and

<v Speaker 2>hottest takes. And I also need to put out there

<v Speaker 2>that we are now accepting questions for our Dear Dyke's

<v Speaker 2>Advice segment. Send in your dilemmas and get help from

<v Speaker 2>us your favorite lesbian podcasters. There's a link to the

<v Speaker 2>jatform in the description of this episode, as well as

<v Speaker 2>on our leak tree on all social media pages.

<v Speaker 1>Welcome back and get ready for our next segment, Literary Lesbians.

<v Speaker 1>Caitlin will be sharing a very special book.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's really special, you guys, because you know how

<v Speaker 2>much we love the L word, and you know how

<v Speaker 2>much I love Shane Slash Kate Minig. She's hot even

<v Speaker 2>when she's not being Shane.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, always and uh.

<v Speaker 2>So this is a book from two of my favorites

<v Speaker 2>and it's signed, so this is very very special. Okay,

<v Speaker 2>So this book is written by Lesha Haley and Kate Menegg.

<v Speaker 2>And if you listen to podcasts like I do, you've

<v Speaker 2>probably heard of the Pants Pod. So that is their

<v Speaker 2>podcast they've had. I think they started it like around

<v Speaker 2>like twenty twenty, twenty twenty one. They haven't really been

<v Speaker 2>doing it a lot lately, but I think that's because

<v Speaker 2>they're probably working on something Eltward related, is my guest,

<v Speaker 2>because they've only been doing like replays of old episodes.

<v Speaker 2>But anyway, so they they met because of the L

<v Speaker 2>word and they became like best friends. And so Mia Kirschner,

<v Speaker 2>who played Jenny Scheckter, called them the pants because it's

<v Speaker 2>like they're like one leg of pants, like they have

<v Speaker 2>to be together all the time. So I bought this book.

<v Speaker 2>I haven't read it yet, but I got to show you.

<v Speaker 2>I've got time to read it because I have so

<v Speaker 2>many You have so many books you're reading. But I

<v Speaker 2>was like, I gotta find a gay book to show you.

<v Speaker 2>So it's called So Gay for You, and I want

<v Speaker 2>to show you it has a certificate, the certificate of

<v Speaker 2>authenticity that it's really signed, okay, and then here's their signatures.

<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh my god, they touched this. Actually they

<v Speaker 2>probably didn't touch the book, but they touched this part.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I have to sign it.

<v Speaker 2>And also here is some pictures of baby Kate Minigg

<v Speaker 2>and baby Lesia. Look how gay they look. Don't they

<v Speaker 2>both look so gay?

<v Speaker 1>Yes they do. Oh my god, I've never seen that

<v Speaker 1>picture of Lisia.

<v Speaker 2>Yes, she posted it on like the Panthers p Instagram

<v Speaker 2>one time. But I love that they are both like

<v Speaker 2>sporty spice spots holding a ball. And so I'm really

<v Speaker 2>excited to read this book. I just haven't started it yet. Also,

<v Speaker 2>so it's a little hard for me because it is

<v Speaker 2>a hardcover book and those are like less fun for

<v Speaker 2>me to read. But it's special because it's signed and

<v Speaker 2>they kind of took turns writing it, like each chapter

<v Speaker 2>is like one is by Kate, one is by Lesia

<v Speaker 2>Da Da Da. I did want to tell you know

<v Speaker 2>some l word lore that if you listen to the

<v Speaker 2>pants pod you would know. But they talked about how

<v Speaker 2>Shane Okay, they both were auditioning for Shane and they

<v Speaker 2>were like in like the final cut. Both of them

<v Speaker 2>and Lesha had like short pink hair at the time,

<v Speaker 2>and I guess they like saw each other and thought

<v Speaker 2>like that girl's really cool. And I think that's so

<v Speaker 2>cute because then they both got on it, even though

<v Speaker 2>one got Shane and one got Alice, but then they

<v Speaker 2>became really good friends, and I think it's so cute.

<v Speaker 2>I just love them. I love that they love each other.

<v Speaker 2>I love Lesbie friendship. It's important. What were we talking about.

<v Speaker 2>We're talking about another movie or something, and I was like,

<v Speaker 2>I love this because it talks about the importance of

<v Speaker 2>queer friendship. But yeah, now I don't remember which one

<v Speaker 2>it was, so.

<v Speaker 1>I feel like that was very recent. I don't remember.

<v Speaker 1>I know you were talking about friendship.

<v Speaker 2>What was I talking about? Anyway. I just think it's

<v Speaker 2>really cool because, like I've said before, but like I

<v Speaker 2>spent the majority of my adult life not having any

<v Speaker 2>queer woman friends. Sometimes I would have like a gay

<v Speaker 2>man friends day. Yeah, I never I was always like

<v Speaker 2>just friends with straight women. And there are certain things

<v Speaker 2>that I feel like they just maybe like don't get

<v Speaker 2>about being gay, and so it feels really alienating. So

<v Speaker 2>it's nice to have a friend that's gay or friends

<v Speaker 2>that are gay, and so I think it's sweet that

<v Speaker 2>they have this like best friendship.

<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well when you read it, you gotta tells.

<v Speaker 2>I just wanted to show it off because it's signed okay,

<v Speaker 2>but then next time you'll be like, oh my god,

<v Speaker 2>this chapter was you know. Well, also, I'm currently reading

<v Speaker 2>a gay book. I'm reading Fried Green Tomatoes at the

<v Speaker 2>Whistlestop Cafe, which is what Fried Green Tomatoes the movie

<v Speaker 2>is based off. And yes, the book is more gay.

<v Speaker 2>Like they are mentioned as a couple. There's no like

<v Speaker 2>sex scenes that I can recall, but like they're definitely

<v Speaker 2>like this is their son that they are raising and

<v Speaker 2>they own this cafe together and they're a pair. But it,

<v Speaker 2>I don't know, it's just interesting. But I didn't want

<v Speaker 2>to talk about it because I found out some cheesemay

<v Speaker 2>about the author.

<v Speaker 1>One time.

<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, okay, about the author and another author and

<v Speaker 2>their relationship. So but I'm gonna share it. I'm gonna

<v Speaker 2>save that for the Fried Green Tomatoes episode. So that's

<v Speaker 2>why I was then scrambling to find another gay book

<v Speaker 2>talk about, and I was like, oh my god, Oh

<v Speaker 2>my God, I have a signed book by two lesbians

<v Speaker 2>talk about that girl. So AnyWho, I hope that you

<v Speaker 2>enjoyed this episode, and thank you so much for tuning in,

<v Speaker 2>and thank you for being here for our premiere episode

<v Speaker 2>of season two.

<v Speaker 1>Yes very special.

<v Speaker 2>We are your go to for sapphic media reviews, WLW drama,

<v Speaker 2>and unfiltered queer takes. If you enjoyed the show, please like, share,

<v Speaker 2>and subscribe on every platform. Leave us a review to

<v Speaker 2>help support the queer community and keep this lesbian led

<v Speaker 2>pod thriving. After all, the Alga algorithm is a bitch.

<v Speaker 2>Annunciation in general is a bitch to me. The algorithm

<v Speaker 2>is a bitch. Yeah, So like what are words? We're

<v Speaker 2>just two lesbians with Mike's out here trying to survive.

<v Speaker 1>And tune in next week for another Christmas episode. A

<v Speaker 1>better Christmas movie? I feel like I feel like I

<v Speaker 1>like this one better than Anyways. It's called A New

<v Speaker 1>York Christmas Wedding and it is available on to be Yes.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, So funny thing about this movie though, I just

<v Speaker 2>gotta say I accidentally watched it one time and I

<v Speaker 2>didn't know it was gonna be gay because it doesn't

<v Speaker 2>say it doesn'tis New York Lesbian, Christmas Gay New York.

<v Speaker 2>I like clicked on it because I was just looking

<v Speaker 2>for like a cheesy Christmas movie, and then I was like,

<v Speaker 2>oh my god, are they gonna be gay? So I

<v Speaker 2>stumbled upon this one an accident. I was proud, but

<v Speaker 2>I think also Netflix. It was on Netflix at the time,

<v Speaker 2>and I think they just were like, she's gay.

<v Speaker 1>We're gonna share this.

<v Speaker 2>Yeah, AnyWho, we will see you next Tuesday. Executive producers

<v Speaker 2>for But I'm a Lesbian are Caitlin Beatty and Angelina Herrera.

<v Speaker 2>Produced and mixed by Victoria Shiplet. Creative direction and video

<v Speaker 2>editing provided by Juanita Here Your Day. Music by Stiletto Falsetto.