Speaker 1: Welcome to But I'm a Lesbian, the podcast where we

serve all batty SaaS, queer film reviews, and everything in between.

Whether you were baby, gay.

Speaker 2: Or a queer elder, we're here, We're clear, and we're

diving deep into all things lesbian.

Speaker 1: We're your hosts, Caitlin and Angelina.

Speaker 3: Get ready for some sapphig serotonin.

Speaker 2: Okay, I'm really excited about this episode. I feel bad

because I feel like people can tell when we're like, oh,

here's this movie, and then we're like, oh, I got

but you know what, some people like it, and I

respect their opinions, but this movie I really really like.

Speaker 3: So I'm very excited about it.

Speaker 2: And this is also exciting because this is going to

be my first time hearing Angelina's input on it, her

opinions because she hadn't seen it before.

Speaker 3: When I would talk.

Speaker 1: About yes, I only saw the very famous scene. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Okay, So today's episode is about the twenty seventeen film Disobedience.

It features two famous and very gorgeous rachel's Rachel McAdams

and Rachel Wise.

Speaker 3: Rachel Wise loves to make game movies. She does, yes. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Also, did you see that they're now making another Mummy

movie and she and Brendan Fraser are going to be

in it.

Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was saying. She was like, I

think I'll watch it because if she's in it, okay.

Speaker 2: And she's like, wow, she just keeps getting more beautiful,

and I'm like, yeah, First of all, you always think

that the older women are, the more beautiful they are.

And secondly, when Rachel Wise first started to get popular,

she had the tiny nineties eyebrows.

Speaker 1: I don't remember her with that one.

Speaker 2: Well, the Mummy, her eyebrows were so tiny, and now

she has like.

Speaker 3: These beautiful, full eyebrows.

Speaker 2: I don't know anyway, eyebrows go through phases, because in

that era I would get when I was like eleven,

my mom started like taking me with her to get

my eyebrows waxed and get them waxed so so so

so so small, and then I don't think until I

was like probably like two thousand and nine, I started

filling them in.

Speaker 3: I didn't do anything like that.

Speaker 1: So you would just get them waxed, and then you would.

Speaker 2: Like they were just tiny, like Pamela Anderson, and then

I got them tattooed on. You guys, so now I

don't have to do anything.

Speaker 1: I want to do that. I was telling Yammy, like

I need to do that. I just do this right here.

And I used to like, you should.

Speaker 3: Do it, but you can't go to my girl because

she is a trumpy now.

Speaker 1: So although you're saying you can't go to my girl

because that's my girl.

Speaker 2: No, she was the only one in the area that

did them there hombray powder brows and kind of you

were talking about. Yeah, I really liked her and she

turned into a trumpy, so I have to find a

new person to go to.

Speaker 1: You do your eyebrows for they just always look like that.

Speaker 2: Well, no, my wife tweezes them for me because they

do y go outside the thing. One time she does

my mustache for me too, and she's recently started like

getting hairs out of my note and I was like,

I don't grow hairs there, and she's like.

Speaker 3: Yeah, they're sticking out of your nostrils.

Speaker 1: She's embarrassing.

Speaker 2: And then one time she was like she uses a

little face shaper and she was like shaving up here

on my face and I was like, babe, I don't

have a hair there. She's like, what is this she's like,

there's hair, Like, oh my god, I went so many

years of my life thinking I did it, so that

was sad.

Speaker 3: And she's always whenever I'm like.

Speaker 2: Whenever, she's like I need to get your mustache, babe,

I'm like, oh my god, it's embarrassing.

Speaker 3: How do you even love me? Anyway? She's always like,

we're all mammals, babe.

Speaker 2: Oh, but I do grow really aggressive, Like I have

two white whiskers that grow in and they've been growing

in like white since I was like twenty two.

Speaker 1: I have one a white whisker right here, and sometimes

it's really hard to see it because you don't see

it when you're like doing it. And then one time

I like turn and I was like, the fuck is that?

It was so fuck long? And I felt so embarrassed

and I was like, oh my god, I like can't

believe that I've walked around like this my entire life.

So now I'm always like looking for it, and it

was so my god. I'm just like yeah, yeah, I'm like,

you will never get that long ever again, and you

will be gone.

Speaker 2: It's karma for me because I used to make fun

of my grammy because she had like a mole right here, and.

Speaker 3: It would go a bit out of it and I

would be like.

Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're like a witch a little shit,

and now I have white whisper.

Speaker 3: That's true.

Speaker 1: So it was.

Speaker 3: Yeah, it was when like I only thought of witches.

Speaker 2: This was when I was like five, okay, so it

was before I like saw practical magic and yeah, the

craft I thought of, like you know, the evil witches

from like Disney movies. Oh yeah, I always had like

a like scary like hair like hair was like yeah, anyway,

I don't know why I started talking about that. So

this film is set in an orthodox you Wish community

in London. In the movie, the two had a teenage

romance that ended because one of them left the you know,

close knit little community. This could be traumatic. Did you

grow up religious and or are you still religious?

Speaker 1: I'm extremely religious now, honestly, like I'm so religious.

Speaker 3: Guys.

Speaker 1: Uh No, we didn't grow up very religious. They my

family is. They're Catholic. But the only one that was

super religious was my grandma because she would like pray

a lot and everything else. But it wasn't like she

was trying to get everybody to be Catholic and like

very religious as well. She just had like that's like

the most religious thing, and she had a lot of

like Jesus and Virgin Mary Saints and like all these

like like stuff everywhere. Yeah, and I still have some

of her stuff, so like part of my thing looks

like the middle part of it is just very like religious,

and then the rest of my shelf so like in

your yeah, I think it's like all her stuff. But no,

my we did go to church a couple of times,

but we never like went frequently, nor was I like

told to pray a lot or anything or you know,

like it was there and it would happen sometimes, but

it wasn't like you need to do this, like this

is like part of us.

Speaker 3: Did you do all the things?

Speaker 1: Like no, I'm not baptized.

Speaker 2: No, no, they I don't know why I'm acting like

I don't feel like as Catholics baptized as babies.

Speaker 3: Yes, when in my.

Speaker 2: Religion, my sect of Christianity whatever, you didn't get baptized.

So you were older. So that's why I was surprised.

I was like, you're not baptized.

Speaker 1: Well, my mom isn't baptized, but my older sister is

not baptized either, but my middle sister that she's older

than me, she was baptized as like a child, but

then when it got to me, they were gonna baptize me.

But then they did, and I guess, and then we

tried to do when I was a teenager, but I

was like, I don't really want to like memorize this

or nor do I really like want to and they

were like, all right, I'm like, none of you guys

are baptized either, so I'm like, it doesn't really yeah,

it's only one of us, and yeah, so weird. I'm like, okay,

are you bad to No.

Speaker 2: So, actually, my mom's dad, my paternal grandpa, was a

preacher in the Church of Christ, which is I don't

know if I would say famously, but it's pretty like

known that they hate the gays. It's pretty anti LGBT.

So it was interesting because when I came out, he

was still alive, but my mom said, don't tell Papa

void and he actually died like a year later, so

I didn't really have to tell him. But anyway, I

went to that church when I was like little, but

my mom wasn't that into it, so there would be

like periods of time where we would go.

Speaker 3: Yeah, I just I don't. I don't believe in God.

Speaker 2: I remember thinking that at some point we were going

to it was gonna be revealed that like it was

like Santa right, like this isn't real. That never happened.

Then I found out that people really do believe in God.

So I was like surprised, like honest to goodness, surprised

because I thought that it seemed like like a fairy tale.

Speaker 1: I like, even as at a young age, you were

just like this is yeah.

Speaker 2: I thought we were like going through the motions like

this is Easter Bunny, there's Santa, there's Jesus.

Speaker 3: I didn't get it.

Speaker 2: I was like what I mean, I realized like oh,

because my my parents would say they believed in Tanna, right.

But then as you get older, they're like no, like

of course not, yeah that didn't really happen.

Speaker 3: I mean yeah.

Speaker 2: So anyway, it is interesting because as I get older,

not that I am religious at all, Like I don't

really think that there is necessarily like a God or

some sort of like higher being, but I do think

that there is something like after you die, which is

like for a long time in my atheism. I was like,

nothing happens when you die, Like there's just nothing. And

then I remembered my grandpa, not the Preacher, one different

grandpa when he died because he had a heart attack

or something, and then they brought him back to life.

He said that he was in this peaceful place and

he saw his brother and dah da da, and he

was like upset that they brought him back. And then

when he actually like for real died like years later. Yeah,

he was talking to his brother that had died years before,

and my grandma saw him like and he's like, yeah,

he's right there, like blah blah blah. And it's like, yeah,

you could attribute that to like he's probably on a

lot of drugs because he was on hospital. Yeah, But

also I do think there's something to be said for

there being some sort of like an afterlife. And I

like to hope, right, I hope that I hope that

my animals that have passed are with my grammy because

she was such a huge animal lover, and I hope that,

you know, there's a place. She would always tell me, like,

there has to be a heaven for animals, Caitlin, because

I think in the Bible something says that there.

Speaker 3: Isn't for animals, like animals are not like humans. But

she was always like that, she's like for animals.

Speaker 2: Yeah, so I always hope that there is some sort

of afterlife and my Grammy is there with all of

her Chihuahas and poodles and all and all of my

babies and to take care of them. But yeah, but

so sweet and yeah, as I yeah, definitely, as I

get older, I am more like, oh, I think that

like Snape our cat, like I think he sent us Juniper,

and I feel like that sounds so like cheesy, but

I'm like, I don't know. I think that like Booboo

Senta sailor, like I don't know. So there's something I think.

But I'm not religious and I've never been a church person. Yeah,

so yeah, AnyWho, Okay, do you have a hot take

or burning desire that you want to share about this movie?

Speaker 3: I'm dying to know.

Speaker 1: Okay, So, as we were talking earlier, when this movie

first came out, I was definitely on all the comments,

all the reviews of it, and a lot of people

that surprised me. They thought that a very famous the

spinning scene was super explicit shouldn't happen. It was disgusting,

but I really enjoyed it. So that could be a

hot take to you know, other people. What's what's your

hot take?

Speaker 3: Yeah?

Speaker 2: Okay, Well I said, this movie is so fucking good.

It goes against my usual hatred of movies directed by men.

It's a man, A straight man directed this, and I

was shocked because I do not think that that sex

scene was like too much. I think that it was

pretty realistic. Obviously, not everybody spits in each other's mouth.

But I liked that there was this like kink factor

because I think that we also, like we don't want

to over sexualize lesbian sex scenes, but also I don't

think we want to sanitize them to be like, oh,

they're just like so chaste and they're just like lah

like no, like they're getting like down and dirty like

and so I liked it. And then when I looked

it up and it was directed by a straight man,

I was very surprised because I feel like he did

a really good job. I don't feel like it was creepy,

like blue is the warmest color. I don't feel like

he exploited them, And I have not heard anything. I mean,

hopefully they had some sort of an intimacy coordinator as well,

must but yeah, I.

Speaker 3: Thought the sex scene was very realistic.

Speaker 2: Another thing that I liked about the sex scene was

that Rachel McAdams kept like her top on. Yeah, but

we do see her boobs at another point in the scene.

But I do wonder if it's like in the contract,

like boobs only one time.

Speaker 1: I think about that too, And they do do that

where they do that, they do that where they say

like they'll have one sing where like you know in

the real No, the L Word, they were just real.

They were real. Yeah. On The L Word, Jennifer Bills

had in her contract that she would never show her boobs,

so everybody else on the show showed her boobs minus hers.

So like when they would do with sex scenes, you

notice like she would rather be like pressed against Tina

or the carpenter. So yeah, yeah, so that must have

been in the Yeah, but no, I thought.

Speaker 2: That was hot because to me, I don't know, I

think this is more realistic in like they were going

to this hotel. They were like, oh my god, like

we have to go to this place because we're like

so horny for each other like we have to fuck

and then when it.

Speaker 4: Like happened, like it's like we don't need to take

this top off, like I got.

Speaker 1: To wear Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and I thought that it was hot and I

thought that it was like kind of more realistic and

I liked that. And also, yeah, that reminds me that

Licia Haley's boobs were shown so much on the L

They were she has really big boobs for being so skinny.

She does.

Speaker 3: I just remember noticing that.

Speaker 1: See, we always find a way to bring the L

word and the real but there have.

Speaker 3: Been a few episodes.

Speaker 2: I think that we didn't talk about it, and I

was thinking about it and I was like, oh my god.

Speaker 1: I should have talked about it immore.

Speaker 3: We also saw Shane's boobs a lot.

Speaker 1: We did, Yeah, we did.

Speaker 3: I have a I don't know.

Speaker 2: Everybody has like envy for the things they don't have, right, Like.

Speaker 1: So you wish you had her boobs?

Speaker 2: Yes, she could wear anything and she never has to

wear a bra when I don't wear a bra.

Speaker 3: You guys, it looks like.

Speaker 2: You, but yeah, it looks like my grammy. You know,

like they just the gravity has pulled them down. They

were never that perky because they were always big. But

as I've got and older, they've gotten less perky. And

I always think of this part in that The Sweetest

Thing movie with Cameron Diaz.

Speaker 3: Oh you're like two twenty eight, twenty two.

Speaker 1: Yeah, like, oh no, that's.

Speaker 3: Farther down anyway, So it would be really nice wisdom small. Yeah,

saggy rest disease. Remember there was that.

Speaker 2: There was like that song the do Your Ears Hang Low,

and people would sing it about like do your boobs

hang low? Yeah, but that's okay, bring shame people back

back in the day. Yeah, I love Saggi boobs, it's

not my own. This is also a thing that's hard

about being gay. I think, yeah, on other people think.

Speaker 1: It's beautiful, loveful, yeah.

Speaker 2: And sexy, but then on myself it's like like what

the hell, Like I wouldn't care if someone has cellulight.

I think that that is beautiful and stretch marks and

blah blah blah.

Speaker 3: But then on myself, I'm like, oh, this is embarrassing. Absolutely.

Speaker 1: You have to like take that and like separate it

from yourself. Think of your boobs and everything else is

like something separate, and then you can like appreciated.

Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, well, I'm so glad that I got to

hear your hot take. So we're going to take a

quick break now, and when we get back, we'll get

into the recap. So get ready for a lot of

drama and a lot of descriptions of lung. Okay, So

we open on an old rabbi leader. We find out

he is the rav that's the senior rabbi giving a

talk to his members, like in a church synagogue.

Speaker 1: The yeah, the synagogue, the congregation.

Speaker 3: Yeah.

Speaker 2: He collapses in the middle of it and everyone rushes

to help him. And then we move from that to

a totally different setting and we see Rachel Weiss, who

is named Roneite in her photography studio and she's photographing

heavily tattooed elderly people. So that's cool.

Speaker 3: I think they're trying to show she does kind of

edgy things. I don't know.

Speaker 2: So someone else that works in the building calls to

her and calls her Ronnie. So she goes by Ronnie now,

but we find out that her name is Ronite, that's

what everyone at home calls her. And the person is like,

you need to speak to this man, Ronnie and then

they don't show what happens next, and then we cut

to seeing her in a bar getting drunk and then

having sex with a man in the bathroom, and it

was just funny because my wife was like, I thought

this was a lesbian movie. I was like, I think

she's by I think maybe, like not everyone's a lesbian.

There's just there's a gay love story. But anyway, it

was just funny because she's.

Speaker 3: Like, oh, she's.

Speaker 1: In the bathroom.

Speaker 3: It's like, don't it gets better, babe? It gets better.

Speaker 2: Then we see her going ice skating by herself, and

she looks all sad, and then in the locker room

of the ice rink, she tears her shirt, which I

feel like was dramatic, and we see later that the

very very like Orthodox Jewish community that she's from, they

have to be the women have to be very modest.

So I think that the tearing the shirt was like

she's frustrated, but also like she is like free, like

because if she were at home, she would.

Speaker 1: Have to be covered.

Speaker 2: Which also makes me think of my wife because I

think I talked about how she thinks it's scandalous to

show clapical, so she's probably like, what the fuck are

you wearing, bab She's clasical and cleavage.

Speaker 1: And your legs, oh my god. Yeah.

Speaker 2: And so then we see her on a flight and

so we're like, Okay, she found out some sort of news.

Speaker 3: She's going somewhere.

Speaker 2: We find out that her father was the old man

that died the rap. She arrives home in London, in

this very religious town or neighborhood with in London. She

arrives at the house and David sees her. So this

is we find out was a friend of hers when

she was younger, and he's very close with her dad.

He is like a rabbi now yes, and he's like, oh,

we weren't expecting you. And she goes to hug him,

but he doesn't let her. And I think this is

probably because she's a woman and he's married.

Speaker 3: Yeah, she's not allowed to.

Speaker 1: Like in general, they're like when he's walking, he like

makes sure to like not even bump into the other women.

He's just like, you know, yeah, So that's like the

contact is like forbidden.

Speaker 2: I kind of understand because hugs are kind of like

your boobies are pressed against this person, are.

Speaker 1: You like a side hug?

Speaker 2: Or yeah, when you when someone you don't want to hug,

like goes together, like those guys that are like where's.

Speaker 1: My hug at and you're like I'm like, oh my god.

Speaker 2: See because I feel like they're like press your boobs

up against me. Don't know, weird anyway, So the she

comes into the house, everyone's kind of looking at her,

so we can gather like they didn't expect her, like

Dovid said, and that they haven't seen her in a

long time. One of her aunts greets her and is

like super excited, but then the uncle comes up and

he seems like not excited.

Speaker 3: Yeah, so we're like, oh okay.

Speaker 2: In the kitchen, Dovid gives her some coffee and offers

her to stay like with him and his family instead

of getting a cab to a hotel because she was

like I'm just gonna get a cab and he's like no, no, no,

you should stay with me. Yeah, and then she's like,

oh my god, like are you married now?

Speaker 3: Who did you marry? And they're like joking about it,

ha ha ha.

Speaker 2: And then Rachel McAdams comes into the kitchen and her

name is Estie and she starts to like clean something

up or whatever, and he's like She's like, no, it's fine.

Speaker 3: Dovid's wife will get it. And then there's like this.

Speaker 2: Awkwardness and then she realizes that Estie is Dovin's wife.

Speaker 3: Yeah, so like, oh this is weird.

Speaker 1: She's yeah, she's like oh you too, Like oh.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's like why didn't you tell me? Yea,

and Estie's like you disappeared, Like how would I have

let you know?

Speaker 1: Like yeah, like you left New York. Yeah.

Speaker 2: And so Ronnee is also upset because she's like, no

one told me that my dad.

Speaker 3: Was even sick.

Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that was That was pretty crazy.

Speaker 2: Yes, And so then we see the group of people

all walking out of the house together and David and

st are leading, but Estie keeps looking back at Ronnie

and I wrote, probably because she loves her.

Speaker 1: You could tell when they walked, and she's like they

were both like oh my.

Speaker 3: God, I know they're good actors.

Speaker 2: It was being like you felt this like electricity, like yeah, yeah,

I was like damn okay. So then Ronnie reads a

newspaper that has like her dad's obituary and it says

that he was childless and she's.

Speaker 3: Like that's fucked up.

Speaker 1: That is pretty fucked up.

Speaker 2: So because she left the community, she just doesn't care

does a person anymore apparently, And then she's talking to

Dovid and she's like, you know, you were closer to

him than I was or whatever, and then she gives

David an Sti a book of her photographs, which I

thought was really like interesting.

Speaker 3: It was nice of her.

Speaker 2: It was better than when Tyra Banks gave a picture

of herself to Miley Cyrus as a present. But I

did think it was kind of weird to be like, look,

I've been doing stuff. Look at the pictures I took.

I don't know, but at least they weren't of herself.

And then we see, yeah, we see Sti looking sad

in her room with David and she's watching him pray,

and then she like pounces on him to do sex stuff,

and I'm like, she's so obviously trying to prove that

she's into him and that she's straight, because then she

starts touching his like beard and his mustache, like oh,

I love.

Speaker 1: Man, and he's given he was a king at her,

Like what the fuck.

Speaker 2: Me? Yeah, but I feel like every Friday, Okay, yeah,

only when they like are set. Yeah, and then we

see Ronie go to visit her father's grave site, and

then we cut to like another day, probably the very

next day. We see Stie going into school and she

teaches at the local school. Now we see David talking

to some other rabbis and they seem judgmental about Ronete

staying with them, and he doesn't seem to mind that

they're being jerks, which is kind of cool. He's kind

of like, she's gonna stay with me, like she's grieving

her dad just died, and yeah, yeah, Like so I

like that he kind of like stuck up for her

and didn't feed into their like weird like they wanted

to like gossip about her.

Speaker 3: I think it wanted so badly scandalous.

Speaker 1: Yeah, she's out of the community. Yeah center.

Speaker 3: Yeah, and so.

Speaker 2: We see we see Sti and David have sex and

it feels kind of awkward because she doesn't seem as

into it as him.

Speaker 3: But that's because she's gay, but we're not supposed to

know that.

Speaker 1: And that's where we see her boobs.

Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I was like, I know, we do see

boobs at some point.

Speaker 1: She just like that's all Wait, I wrote that.

Speaker 2: I think we see no I wrote it somewhere. I

don't know, girl, maybe I didn't.

Speaker 3: Okay.

Speaker 2: Then we see a dinner party with some other members

of the group and they start being haters about Rone

going by Ronnie at work, and I guess she also

goes by a different last name, like she basically basically

like Curtis or very nice her name, like, so she

doesn't sound Jewish anymore, and STI kind of sticks up

for her and is like, well, women lose our names

whenever we marry a man, like we are constantly losing

our names, and everyone seems mad at her except for

Roneit yeah, And then she tries to talk to her

uncle about the family home so like her dad's home,

like she wants to sell it, and he's like, oh,

we'll talk about it later. We'll talk about it later,

like he's not really being helpful.

Speaker 3: At some point.

Speaker 2: At some point, Ronite says people should stop having so

many kids, and I was like, this is.

Speaker 4: Me at a party and people don't like that, but

sdie lab so I was like, okay, well it's true.

Speaker 2: And everyone's being haters and telling her she should just

get married, and that's just the way that.

Speaker 3: It should be, and she's like, I'm gonna leave.

Speaker 2: Yeah, And then Sti is like, David, will you please

walk her home and I'll like finish up here.

Speaker 3: And so.

Speaker 2: David goes and like is walking her home. Stie catches

up with them and sees them having like a like

a sweet kind of like a heart to heart type

of moment. I don't even remember exactly what they talk about.

I think about the dad, I think, so I think

that's then we cut to the next day and we

see Ronique going to a wig store. Just so you know,

all the married women wear wigs in this community. They

are called chitel wigs, and it's due to modesty. So

it's like, probably Ronique shouldn't be wearing the wig because

she's not married, and she's trying on the wigs. And

then I think her uncle owns the store because then

he comes in and the office and he's like seems

annoyed that she's wearing the wig, and I think it's

like like her like making fun or something. So in

case you didn't realize, Sdi wears the wigs like all

the time because she's married, right, and uh, he gives

her the uncle gives her the keys to the house

so she can get personal possessions from the house, and

that's when she finds out that her dad did not

leave the house or anything to her, like nothing goes

to her.

Speaker 3: He left everything to the synagoguey. So she's like, well,

that's kind of fucked up.

Speaker 2: And then the uncle is like, I'm gonna take this

time to shame you some more. So, yeah, you should

have come back and taken.

Speaker 3: Care of him.

Speaker 2: A man needs his children to take care blah blah blah.

And she's like, nobody told me, Like I literally didn't know.

So she sat and then SD and Ronie run into

each other in town and they go to the rav's house,

so Ronnie's childhood home to get anything she wants Slash needs,

and then they listen to the cure and they talk

and it's perfect because it's like.

Speaker 3: Whenever I'm alone with you, you make me feel like

I'm fun again.

Speaker 2: And it's like made me want to cry because it

was so sweet because like Sti has like obviously you

know she's married to David. We don't know how she

feels about that or not, but like you can tell

that she's.

Speaker 1: So depressed you can see like she's so literally.

Speaker 2: Like this is like she's being herself a little bit

when her favorite person comes back. And so Ronnie tells

SD she doesn't think she's gonna go to the hespid,

which is a eulogy for her father, and she asks

SD if she thinks she should go back early, and

Sdie kisses her hands and touches her heart and says no,

she I don't want you to leave it all. And

then they kiss and I said it's so hot in my.

Speaker 3: Opinion, and then Ronite stops.

Speaker 2: It before more happens and says she's sorry. Then they

go downstairs and they're about to leave, but then Rooneie

kisses her again, and Estie tells her, I just want

you to know that I'm the one that made sure

you were not to fight about your dad. Yeah, and

Ronete's like, okay, I need some air. And then while

she's outside, Estie steals the fancy candlesticks from the house

because I feel like she wants to give them two

me and then they walk home and while they're walking home,

Ronita is like, why did you get married? And Estie's like,

your dad the rab talked me into it. She's like,

I was heartbroken and mentally ill when you left, and

I was pressured into marrying him. He said you need

to marry a man, and she figured, this is my

best friend, so if I'm going to marry a man,

it should be him, you know. And she's like, I

chose him, even though I don't want to ever have

sex with a man, but I have to, right because

especially like the rap is like, there is something wrong

with you if you don't do this, if like you know,

you're going against your religion. Sti asks Bernit if she's

been with other women, and she says, no, not really.

And then she asked Stie if she's been with other

women and she says no, and she's like, but do

you still only fancy women and she was like, yeah, yeah,

she's allowed, but she is stuck in this marriage with

a man because of her religion. And then they share

a cigarette and then we see them in the park

holding hands and it gets dark and they go to

this like tennis area of the park and they kiss more,

and then they kind of get caught by these lame

os that are like, oh, we're going to play some tennis,

and they're like total narcs, so they kind of saw

they saw that bernit was with someone, but they like

Stie like puts her hood on and like speed walks away.

Speaker 3: So they're like, maybe we didn't get caught.

Speaker 1: I don't know.

Speaker 2: And then she's like the lady I don't even remember

her name. This nark bitch was like, was that st

And she's like no, no.

Speaker 1: She's like no, she said, it's so obvious.

Speaker 3: She's like no, I know, I know.

Speaker 1: I'm like, bro, you can't lie better than that.

Speaker 3: Now I got.

Speaker 2: Then we see st freaking out about getting caught and

she's like crying in the shower and Dovid knocks on

the door and he's like what happened and she gets

out of the shower to hug him. And then we

see her at school and she gets called to the

principal because those tennis people tattled on her.

Speaker 1: They're yeah, they're in the fucking office.

Speaker 2: I was like, they're probably like she's gay, and I

don't want her teaching my children because they're gonna she's

gonna teach them to be gay. And it's like, that's

so stupid. I never had anyone teach me to be gay,

and I'm very gay, so I.

Speaker 1: Wish someone taught me how to be gay.

Speaker 2: If you wanted to be I can try to teach you.

But I'm just saying people be gay without anybody teaching.

Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, So then.

Speaker 2: We cut to seeing David being offered the rabs jobs,

so they wanted him to be like the boss boss

of the Rabbis, and then we see we go back.

We see Stie leaving school and Renee went to meet her,

so she's like standing outside of the school and then

she says she got in trouble and they need to

stop this, and Rennie's like, okay, I'll leave tomorrow. And

it's sad because Stie loves her, but she doesn't want

to blow up her life. And then they're like, we

should go somewhere else, and so they take a train

and it's like they're obviously gonna have sex, and like,

I don't know, I just I feel like they're really

good actors.

Speaker 1: Because when they were like I loved the part when

they were like, let's just get away from here, and

they like took the metro subway right and then they

like you can tell they're in a different area and

they like kind of looked at each other and then

they held hands because they felt safe enough to do

without you know, people like looking and they were like,

you know, they are very good actors.

Speaker 2: Yes, Because also when they were like on the subway

or whatever, like the way they were looking at each other,

I was like, oh, they know, and they're like and

then they were.

Speaker 3: Like yes, and I was like ah. And so then.

Speaker 2: So okay, they hold hands and they kiss in an

alley and then they get a room and they look

so excited to go into the room and I love it.

Speaker 3: Because they're just like they're just so excited.

Speaker 2: And then they have sex and the famous bidding scene happens.

Speaker 3: So basically.

Speaker 2: They're doing sex stuff and then Rachel McAdams is on

the bottom and Rachel Wis is on the top, and

I think, if I recall correctly, Rachel Wise is like,

come on, do it, and then she spits in her mouth.

Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, yeah she does. They like she stands

over her and then like Rachel mca hre, she's like

laying over her and Rachel McAdams like opens her mouth,

st opens her mouth and then on it like spits

in her mouth. But it's not like a like spit

at you. It's like she's letting the spit like go

into her mouth and it's like a very like sen Yeah.

But I feel like when I say like, spit, it's

like I'm spitting at.

Speaker 5: You know, Like it was like such a like it

was like giving, very like kinky but like light like

because still loving.

Speaker 1: Yeah.

Speaker 2: I like that's what I mean, like, oh, we choke

each other and like it's kind of kinky about like

it's not like like I choke you choke you.

Speaker 1: I don't know, like I just thought it was like

the right mix.

Speaker 2: Yes, That's why I was so surprised that a straight

man directed this, because I was like, this seemed so

not gross and weird to me.

Speaker 1: I don't know, I learned something new men can learn

to not be grossed.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I told my wife and she looked him up

and she's like, oh, he's Argentinian, so so somehow that.

Speaker 1: Makes it he's more culture Argentinian. That's better.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker 3: And so then they are talking about like.

Speaker 2: Ronite's life in New York, and SD's like I thought

about it like a lot. I would think about like

you know what you're doing, and da da da. They

talk about how the rav walked in on them when

they were young. So that is how the RAB knew

and like, you know, tried to you know, basically forced

STI to marry David because like, oh, you're gay.

Speaker 3: I saw you doing stuff with my daughter.

Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's why Ronnet left the community at a

very young age.

Speaker 2: And so Ronnie takes pics of SD and let's talk

about the L word again. It reminds me of when

Shane and Mollie were together, and Shane was taking the

pictures of Mollie like.

Speaker 3: In the morning, Yeah, I'm so cute.

Speaker 2: And so we see David get home and no one's there,

and he's like, well, what the fuck.

Speaker 1: He's like, it's Friday, We're supposed to fuck.

Speaker 2: Yes, And then SD comes home and is like, oop,

sorry I'm late, and then he tries to up sex

with her and she's like nothing you and.

Speaker 3: Then no thank you's. And then in the morning.

Speaker 2: She gets up and throws up in the bathroom and

I'm like, oh, what the fuck are they gonna say

she's pregnant because I thought that the thing that happens

in you.

Speaker 3: Know, movies and shows.

Speaker 2: They're like, I don't know, I've never been pregnant, but

they always like that's the first time.

Speaker 3: They're like, oh my god, she's throwing up. She said

she doesn't feel good. I bet she's pregnant.

Speaker 2: And then she finds out that missus Shapiro made a

formal complaint about her and Ronit.

Speaker 3: So I guess that's the headmistress.

Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, I thought missus Shapiro was that lady that

caught her.

Speaker 1: No, that's the principal. Mister Shapiro's the principal, like head mistress, lady.

Oh okay, And she like went to Dobbed to be like,

so your wife and Ronnett we're caught kissing, and this

is like good, Like I'm bringing it to you now

so you could get this like under control.

Speaker 3: Basically, well, I wrote what a stupid cunt bitch. Evid

is like just oh, it's like, do.

Speaker 1: You americanize it?

Speaker 3: Okay?

Speaker 2: Dovid is like, just tell me the truth, and she's like, well,

I kissed her. And then he gets like really mad

and like grabs her and shakes her and is like

what is wrong with you? But then it's kind of

I'm not saying it's sweet, the domestic violence, but he's like.

Speaker 3: She's gonna hurt you again.

Speaker 2: And I think that's really sad because they are, you know,

they're married, but he knows, he knows that Essie loved

Ronie and Ronee left her, and he's like, she's going

to hurt you again, Like don't you want this stable

life with me?

Speaker 3: Like I was, like, you.

Speaker 1: Think you're gonna be with her, Like she's gonna leave

you for like all of her other things and like

all this other stuff.

Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like, she'll go back to New York and

to her men. So I feel like they are kind

of slushaming her. But I know, like she's not gonna

be with just you, like and you're gonna be here

with me, so don't cheat on me with her. And

she's like I wanted her to come back, And he

keeps trying to blame Ronique for things, and she's like, no,

I've always wanted it, like I've always yeah, Like she

wasn't like convincing me of something like I'm gay.

Speaker 3: I wanted it.

Speaker 1: She's like it's always been.

Speaker 2: This yea, And so then he seems sad and he

slams the door and he leaves, and then we see

that Roneite was upstairs and heard them fighting.

Speaker 3: I didn't realize she was there, so I'm like, oh, awkward.

Speaker 1: She's just sitting on the stairs, like listening to like

when your parents fire or something like, sitting up there

like wed.

Speaker 2: And then she's like you should leave him, and Estie's like,

where would I go? And she doesn't offer to take

her to New York, which I thought was kind of

sad because I hope that she would come with me,

but she didn't, so that was kind of weird. And

then there's a scene with music only and we see

David and roneit separately like just being sad, like going

about their life, but they look really sad. Yeah, And

then at dinner that night, it seems like really awkward.

It's just the three of them like in their house

and Ernie's like, I booked a flight and I'm leaving

tonight and Sti is so sad and Dovid's like cool.

Speaker 1: It's like he's fuck yeah.

Speaker 2: And so David asked Stie to explain how she's feeling

and she says she can't. Like he's like, how would

you feel? Like what are you feeling? And she's like

I can't. I can't explain it like, and then re

Renet goes impacts and on her way out, Sti's so

mad and is like it's easier to leave, isn't it,

And she's like no, but then she still leaves.

Speaker 1: No.

Speaker 2: Sti's really mad and like slams the door I think

after she like left, and then Stie leaves in the

middle of the night and she takes a bus to

go buy a pregnancy test and takes it to a

hotel and then I guess takes it there and then

we cut to the airport and we see Roneite waking

up from sleeping.

Speaker 3: So she just like left even though her flight wasn't leaving.

Speaker 1: Till the next day.

Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like and they in.

Speaker 2: David calls her and is like, hey, is Sti with you?

And she's like no, And so then she comes back

like she didn't.

Speaker 3: She didn't get on the flight, right. She and David

go looking for st and.

Speaker 2: They're looking for her all day and David says he

wishes est never contacted Ronee and that he he didn't

do it because he was protecting his wife, so he

didn't want to contact her because he knew probably that

they would like get back together. Yeah, then Sti comes

down from downstairs from upstairs, so she must have got

home while they were out looking for her. And she

comes from down from upstairs and she's like, David, I

want you to give me my freedom. And also, by

the way, I'm pregnant. And he's like happy that she's

pregnant because I think that they've probably been trying to

have a baby, because that's part of like they're supposed

to have sex on a certain day like every week,

they mentioned, so I think they've done it, but she

hasn't gotten pregnant.

Speaker 3: So he's like, wow, this is like a until yes.

Speaker 2: And so he's like wow, this is like a blessing,

you know. And she's like okay, but like I don't

want to be with you. I don't want my child

to be born into this community without choices like I was.

And he's like no, no, I don't want to give

you your freedom, and he roneit is like you should,

and he's like stay out of it, and she says

she can't, and so then he leaves and then we

see Sti and Rone walk to the hospid and Dovid

is avoiding them. They kind of like make eye contact

through like a door, but like he's not saying anything,

he's just looking at her like and then while they

are like sitting at the husband, Rone finally invites Esti

to with her and they hold hands, but she doesn't

answer if she'll go or not. And then the uncle

announces that David will be the new RAV.

Speaker 3: Oh my god, I wrote it with it oh, and

I keep saying it, okay, David will be the new RAV.

Speaker 2: And he comes to the stage thingy the pulpit, I

guess to give a speech and is reading from his

notes and then he decides not to use the notes

and to go from the heart instead, and he points

out Rone and everyone looks.

Speaker 3: At her, which is kind of awkward.

Speaker 2: But then he starts talking about how the Rav's last,

like his last like yeah, yeah, was about choice and

freedom and he's like why did he choose to talk

about that? And then he says, you are free and

he keeps saying like you are free. It's obvious he's

telling st.

Speaker 1: Yeah. He's like looking at her, yeah yeah.

Speaker 2: And st cries and then he says, I can't accept

the RAP position because I don't have sufficient understanding and

he goes outside and then ste goes outside and hugs him,

and he invites rone to join the hug. And I

thought it was so sweet, and I said, he's a

good man, Savannah.

Speaker 1: He is a good man. Yeah, that's very rare.

Speaker 3: We do these movies.

Speaker 1: They usually suck.

Speaker 3: I know, it's really sweet.

Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard because I feel like he really loves her,

but he ultimately realized, like if you it doesn't matter

how much you love someone if they don't want to

be with you exactly, like you're making it worse.

Speaker 3: Like it's how can you be happy when you're making

them miserable, you know?

Speaker 2: And so we cut to the morning reneit is packing

up and leaving. On the way out, David says goodbye,

and we see that Sti sleeping on the couch, and

he like leaves them to say there goodbye. And then

they say bye, and Ronie gets into her cab and

as the cab is leaving, Stee runs after it and

they stop the car and then she gets in there

and they kiss, and I'm like, oh my god. And

then Ronnee tells Estie that she'll be a brilliant mother

and to please like keep like keep her aware of

where she is, like tell me where you land basically.

Speaker 3: You know.

Speaker 2: And then Estie gets out of the car and they

both cry like as the car drives away. And then

Renee asked to make a small detour to go to

the cemetery and takes a picture of her dad's grave and.

Speaker 3: That is the end.

Speaker 2: So now is the moment you've all been waiting for

our version of fuck Mary, kill, munch, merge murder. Okay,

this was really hard because there were not a lot

of women in this besides the two main ones.

Speaker 3: Yeah, so it was like a struggle to find out

the third one.

Speaker 1: I was thinking that maybe we could have put the ant.

Speaker 2: I thought so too, but then I don't know, I

felt like, well, maybe I was wrong. I felt like

I liked both Esti and Ronit, so I would have

killed the ant. And then I felt like that was

sad because yeah, it was really nice.

Speaker 1: Yeah, she really liked run It and she was she

was like the only one that was nice to her

other than David.

Speaker 2: So I put the options as Sdi Bernit and Rivka,

who is just a woman that st sees at the

store that has two children.

Speaker 3: She seemed nice. She said, Oh I saw Ronite out there, and.

Speaker 1: Then Essie's like, where let me go see her?

Speaker 2: She's like, oh, okay, So now that you know your options,

who would you choose?

Speaker 1: Okay, this is kind of hard, but I'm going to

I'm going to munch SD and I would merge with

run it, and then I would have to murder Rufka.

Even though she seems really nice, just don't know enough

about her. I woult to live in New York and

be with a photographer. She seems cool, she seems nice.

I agree, Yeah, are yours the same? Okay?

Speaker 3: No, I would do the same, but because well, I

just think that.

Speaker 1: Like, are you ready to be a stepmom?

Speaker 3: No, that's why I would.

Speaker 2: But also because I think we've talked about before.

Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know what is that song. I

ain't got no type.

Speaker 1: Oh yeah, only paying that.

Speaker 3: But I kind of do have a type in that

I don't think that.

Speaker 2: I No, I don't really like blondes, and I feel

like Rachel McAdams is like very blonde and light eyes,

and I am more attracted to dark hair.

Speaker 3: Yeah, with dark hair in her dark hazel eyes.

Speaker 2: So I would merge with her, and I would munch

SDI and I would murder Rivka and she seemed nice enough,

but sorry, we.

Speaker 1: Got to murder someone, right, Yeah, obviously.

Speaker 2: Okay, So I am very curious. What would you rate

this movie on a scale of one to five.

Speaker 1: This movie was really good. I generally dislike endings like that,

but I feel like it was very fitting for the movie.

So I would give this movie a five and a

five Cherries, what about you?

Speaker 3: Yeah, I was worried. I didn't think you were going

to give it a five because they together. Yeah, but

it was a.

Speaker 1: Good movie all around. I can't fault it just for

that ending, and I feel like it works out because

it's sort of realistic, like it's not like a fairy

tale ending, which is what I always want. Yeah, because

Astie literally is pregnant. She also has to figure out

all these things, and so it's not like she can

just run away to New York with Ronnie, like she

has to like that's what and ron it wasn't like

she's not gonna come with me. She was like, let

me know where you land because I know this is

going to take time.

Speaker 3: Yeah, you know.

Speaker 1: So I the more that I think about it, it's fitting.

Speaker 2: My wife was like, they need to make a part two,

so we can see where they are now, and then

we hope that they got.

Speaker 3: To the don't know or like still something I don't

trying to keep it with still dis no.

Speaker 2: I I love it. I wish that they ended up

together in parts of me where I'm like, oh my god,

they should like go to New York and be together

blah blah blah. But I did read like you know,

some people online like talking about basically they outgrew each other,

and you know, like.

Speaker 1: Essie kind of has to catch up and like her freedom.

She yeah, like she hasn't experienced.

Speaker 2: It like Ronit has gone and had all of these

experiences in New York and with different people and like

supporting herself, and Estie has only been in this small

little world the whole time, and so almost in a way,

I mean, I don't know, not everybody wants to like

sell their wild oats or whatever, but I kind of

feel like Estie needs to do that, Like she needs

to be like young single lesbian mom and like get

to like you know, try out.

Speaker 3: Being with you know, a different type of.

Speaker 1: And just freedom and general, like she has freedom everyday

things that she wasn't allowed to do or that she

thought like she would never see herself doing. And plus

they got to figure out the whole like custody of

the giant. Yeah, that's what I was because Dovid is

really nice and I feel like they're going to work

something out.

Speaker 3: But I'm sure you're to go to a different country.

Speaker 2: It would it would, especially we stayed in the in

the UK.

Speaker 1: That's true.

Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So if you're enjoying but I'm a lesbian,

please head over to our instagram and TikTok TikTok had

to say tim top TikTok and followed to stay up

to date on our newest episodes and hottest takes.

Speaker 3: Before we go to our last break, we.

Speaker 2: Want to highlight some amazing products that we were sent

so lovely we have.

Speaker 3: It's jerky, y'all, but obviously it's vegan jerky, because.

Speaker 1: What do you have? I have prickly pair chipoli.

Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I have the regular regular regular black pepper

and sea salt, which sometimes is like the best flavor

of the I haven't tried this brand before, but they

seem so cool and so nice, and so the brand

is all y'all's foods. It's so Texas and I love

it because so often, you know, when people I don't know,

I think people think of California as like, oh, of

course they're vegan or vegetarian, they're in California. But when

people think of Texas, that's not what they think of.

And I love that.

Speaker 3: This is like he's like a he's like a.

Speaker 2: Middle aged white man that is like I decided to

go vegan one day because I really love cows and

I realized I don't want to eat them. And I

found out that Texas supplies so much of the cattle

for the meat industry, and He's like, what the hell?

I want to create something that helps animals. So also

I can't remember the exact amount, I want to say

a percentage of every sale that they make goes to

like a local farm suary.

Speaker 3: That's so cool. So anyway, you should whoop try them out.

Speaker 2: They are They sell them on Amazon, and also they're very.

Speaker 3: Active on TikTok.

Speaker 2: I don't know that they sell them on the TikTok shock,

but you should follow them. We interact with them a

lot because they seem really nice. All y'all's foods and

I'm gonna try them on the break and then I'll

tell you how delicious they were.

Speaker 3: I'm sure they're good, Okay, so we will. Oh, I

wanted to tell you all before.

Speaker 2: Uh, I'm really glad that this is airing right before

Thanksgiving because they do have like a little five pack

variety pack that comes with the different flavors and then too,

like toppings like they have like a bacon bits and

like a cheesy bits topping like for salads and stuff.

Speaker 3: And I think it would be a really.

Speaker 2: Cool thing to get if you have like any like

veg curious or vegetarian or vegan like family or friends

for like a little Christmas thing, you know, or if

you're having a holiday thing and there's nothing for your

va and cousin to eat, you could get them some

jerky and they would be so thankful. I'm sure because

I would be thankful if somebody about me vegan jerky. Anyway,

we're gonna go on a little break and we'll come

back with our segment three, which is WLW History.

Speaker 1: Welcome back and get ready for our next segment w

l W History. This week, we are going to explain

the history of but, butch, but but and fem labels,

as well as discussed different staffag sexual preferences and the

names for them, because I clearly don't know how to

say it, so educate me.

Speaker 2: That's funny because sometimes I try to write butch and

my phone auto corrects it to bitch.

Speaker 1: I try to write bitch and it corrects it to bud.

Speaker 3: That's so funny.

Speaker 2: Okay, So this is a really good exciting topic for

me and probably for other gays.

Speaker 3: I don't know.

Speaker 2: I think it's interesting. I'm excited to share my experience

because I love to talk about my experiences because I'm

a Leo Resi and I don't know. I want to

hear yours, and I want to talk about some things

that I learned. So I think I will start with

saying I first heard the terms butcher and fem when

I was a teenager, so like early two thousands.

Speaker 3: But this was also like an era of like, no,

don't label yourself. You're putting yourself in a box, you know, So.

Speaker 2: It was kind of to me, at least the people

I was around people didn't use those labels. I have

always really only been attracted to more masculine presenting lesbians,

but I've never dated someone that specifically like said I'm

a butcher, I'm a mask or whatever. I see it

a lot with older and younger lesbians.

Speaker 3: It just I don't know. My era was very like

we don't use labels.

Speaker 2: I think it was because it was also the era

of like, if you are into something, you have to

like prove that you're not a poser.

Speaker 1: Oh my god, the type of things.

Speaker 3: I thought that part of where the like no labels

came from.

Speaker 2: Anyway, Also, I very much identified with the term lipstick

lesbian at that time, which is so it's such a

silly term because it seems like it's saying most lesbians

don't wear lipstick, so you're like lipstick lesbians.

Speaker 3: I think a lot of lesbians wear lipstick. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Anyway, point being, this is all interesting to me, and

so we'll get into the history. So butch and fem

identities have always existed, but the specific terms seem to

have become prevalent in the US in the nineteen forties.

So butch's often had to present feminine during the work

week and then could dress more masculine at bars on

the weekends. So in the fifties, more women started to

become full time butches, so they were like refusing to

dress more feminine to like fit in at like a

desk job or whatever, and something interesting that I didn't

know a lot about until I watched If These Walls

Could Talk Too, which we're gonna do an episode on.

But it's really hard to find it anywhere I know,

so probably gonna have to buy.

Speaker 3: It on DVD.

Speaker 2: But in like the sixties and seventies, in second wave feminism,

there was this huge pushback against butch lesbians or any

more masculine presenting lesbians because it was like viewed as

like you're trying to like be a man or something,

and it's like so misunderstood. There are people that were

butch lesbians and did transition, but there are also people

that are butch lesbians and strongly identify as women. It's

there are different ways to present and like I've said before,

you can be masculine without being a man or wanting

to be a man, and you can be attracted to

masculinity without wanting to be with a man. Yeah, so

I think it's very interesting. So the criticism that many

butchers met with then in the sixties and seventies and

still now is that whole like trying to be men

thing and butchers have always subverted societal expectations of womanhood

by expressing themselves through masculinity, and fems have always been

more than just feminine women. Femmes subvert expectations by expressing

femininity outside of patriarchal ideas. So sometimes something that I'll

see is people identifying as like hyper fem or like

dressing extremely feminine to the point where it's like this

is obviously to me for other girls and.

Speaker 3: So so yeah, so it's it's interesting.

Speaker 2: It's just it's just a different type of energy and

performance of gender.

Speaker 1: Right.

Speaker 3: Gender is a social construct. If you guys didn't know that.

Speaker 2: Gender and sex are different, we can talk about that

another day. So, as many of you know what, butch

is mainly used in white culture, and stud is mainly

used in Black culture for a masculine leaning lesbian. The

term stud can be traced back to the sixties and

should not be used by non black masculine presenting women

to describe themselves. I've seen a lot of people do this,

and I hopefully on accident, I think that a lot

of what I've seen is stem, which is like stud femme,

so like a butchy theeme.

Speaker 1: Like in between what the.

Speaker 2: Of course, which I always thought butch meant fat butch,

but apparently it also means that I've seen fat butchers

in the early two thousands using themselves anyway, point being,

you shouldn't be using stem if you're white because it

involves stud and stud refers to black lesbians.

Speaker 3: So I also thought this was interesting. I tried to

find like a more.

Speaker 2: Like specific history for the term mask, because literally I've

never heard that term until TikTok, but I feel like

it describes the type of people that I've attracted to

more than butch, because when I see people that identify

as masks, they are often basically I would say, like

a soft butch, like when I think of butch, and

a lot of women that identify as butch, it is

often like blue collar worker, short hair, button ups, which

I am also attracted to. But I also be into

like a golden retriever mask type of vibe.

Speaker 3: So so it's interesting.

Speaker 2: So I can't find a specific history of the term mask.

It's just been really popularized recently, and I thought that

was interesting. And so there are so many other identifiers

that have developed within these different terms such as like

a chopstick lesbian, Like I said, middle of a lipstick lesbian.

Speaker 3: That no one uses that term anymore that.

Speaker 2: I know of, but in the early two thousands that

was just like a fem lesbian. And so maybe in

another episode we can go into like some of these

other specific identities. But I really want to talk about

sexual preferences and sexual identity in this segment because it's something.

Speaker 3: That I see people like mix up a lot.

Speaker 2: They mix up like if someone is a top, then

they must be butch, or if someone is butch, they

must be a top, and things like that, and I

think that that is weird and.

Speaker 3: Wrong, so I want to talk about it.

Speaker 2: So Okay, Another thing I think is interesting, which I

think I've kind of talked about. When I was younger,

I never heard queer women say top or bottom. I

only heard gay men say that. I've literally only heard

it within the last ten years. Maybe, but I do

feel that people naturally like identified in a certain way,

but it was never said, like, I never had the term.

Speaker 3: Top or bottom.

Speaker 2: But I have also never been with a partner that

would want me to top them in those terms, So

I guess I've just been lucky. But I have only

found tops, and I was not being specific and asking

for them. So a top is someone that takes a

more dominant role in sex. That is often while I

laughed at this, my wife laughed at this, But it's true, Okay,

often the giver of penetration, not always. A bottom is

a more passive role and is often a receiver of penetration,

not always. A switch is versatile to both a stone

top or a touch me not is someone that prefers

to only give and not receive any stone bottom or

a pillow princess is someone that prefers to receive and

not give. So like, I think there's a lot of

confusion that people have where people will be like they

think a bottom and a pillow princess are the same thing,

and they're not. I I am a bottom, right, I

feel like I basically said that without saying it, but

not a pillow princess. And there's nothing wrong with being

a pillow princess. But I'm not that, and I want

people to understand that. And I've had like in the past,

when I would go get my nails done by like

a straight woman, she would say like, oh, well, obviously,

you you don't do anything to your girlfriend. She's not

my wife because like you have nails and I'm like,

well we have other body parts now. And also there

are things that lesbians qualify as sex that don't involve penetration,

and did you know like that, Like.

Speaker 3: I don't know how do I describe this.

Speaker 2: I mean, I'm gonna say, like a lot of people

come from things happening to their clit with nothing being

inside of them. So I'm just saying there are things

that bottom stew that pillar princesses don't do. My understanding

is pillar princesses don't do any of those things, and

stonetops don't want to see any of those things. Therefore

they're like a perfect match match made in heaven.

Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Speaker 2: Another thing that I think is you know interesting, is

there is like this weird when I talk about like

toxic masculinity within lesbianism or within like queer women, something.

Speaker 3: That I see a lot is this weird?

Speaker 2: Like somehow people that identify as tops like oftentimes talk

down about bottoms.

Speaker 3: And I will never understand this because don't you need

a bottom? Like if you're like I've just love Yeah,

I'm like I'm confused.

Speaker 2: Yeah, so I don't understand that, but yeah, it's a

if you are a top, you probably need somebody that

is a switch or bottom, right, So I don't get Yeah,

And uh, I really want to talk about this because

I've been seeing so much stuff online where people just

assume that if someone is a butcher, a stud, that

that means that they're all always a top or they're

a stone top. And then when they hook up with

someone that is more masculine presenting and they're okay with receiving,

they're like, that's weird.

Speaker 3: That gives me the eck.

Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, Like you can't just

assume what somebody wants.

Speaker 3: You have to talk to them, We have.

Speaker 1: To communicate, yeah, my grown.

Speaker 3: Ups, Like, I don't know, it's just so weird to me.

Speaker 2: And also something you know, I've seen as people saying

that like pillow princesses and or touch me nots are

somehow like less gay than switches, like because switches do

all of these things, and I think it's kind of

fucked up to be like, because of your boundary, that

means you are not as gay as this other person.

Like if they say they're gay and they're doing sex

stuff with women, or they're living their life with a woman.

Speaker 3: Okay, they're gay, Like let it be. So I think

it's just weird anyway.

Speaker 2: I do also want to say that it probably is

an important conversation to have when you're first dating someone.

And like I said, I've just been lucky because we

didn't really use these terms in my weird label liss

life before. But I just happened to find people that

were the opposite of me. But like, I think I

would be really probably unhappy if I was in a

relationship and I found out they were also at bottom.

I'm like, Okay, well we're just both gonna go down

on each other, and that's all that's happening.

Speaker 1: Like, I don't know.

Speaker 2: I guess it'd be fine, but you know, just certain

things are not gonna happen because neither of us would

be into it.

Speaker 3: So do you have anything that you want to add

on this topic that I rambled on.

Speaker 1: No. I think it was interesting. I think I agree

with your definitions, and I think it do see that

discourse online where people say that bottom's equal pillar princesses

and tops are like stonetops and they think it's weird

when you're having sex with another woman and they're like, yeah,

I also want to like receive this the same thing

that you received. And they're just like, what do you

mean you're a top? You don't want that? Yeah, And

I'm like, that's completely different. It's I think there's just

a lot of misconceptions, of course. And I also wanted

to mention to you know how we have talked about

straight people using these terms. I'm friend, yeah, and I'm like, okay,

not at all sure, but I agree with everything that

you said. I agree, yeah, my stamp of approval. I

do feel like online definitely, there are a lot of

other new terms and new things being brought into this

and sometimes when things are so like popularized that it

does get into like the straight people, they just ruin everything.

I'm sorry they do. They just like, yeah, and I

get that you want to be included because we're cool,

but you can't.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Sometimes you don't get to be included.

Speaker 1: Sometimes things are exclusive.

Speaker 2: You don't get we didn't get included in a lot

of things. We might not even be allowed to get

married anymore.

Speaker 3: Send a short time. Yeah we only added for ten years.

If that happened, So no, just leave us alone. I'm

pretty sure that if you're a girl that is straight

and you just lay there when your boyfriend is like

doing stuff to you, that's called like being a starfish.

I think there's a.

Speaker 2: Whole different Yeah, it's not a pillow princess. It's like suffish,

so use that term.

Speaker 3: That's fine. Yeah, we have the pillow princess is out

of it exactly.

Speaker 2: I think there was something else I was going to

say about it, but I forgot and it's okay.

Speaker 3: Oh I was.

Speaker 2: Gonna say, I'm throwing this in here because I just

am passionate about it.

Speaker 3: I don't know if.

Speaker 2: This is how all young queer women are or if

it's just the ones that I see on TikTok all

the time.

Speaker 3: But to have lesbian sex, you don't need a strap

on you.

Speaker 2: Oh my god, I don't understand why this is like

somehow on TikTok viewed as like having the backpack with

the strap is so important, and if you forget your backpack,

you can't fuck your girlfriend when you get to her house.

Do you not have fingers? Do you not have mouths?

Do you not have bodies where you can like hump

each other. Like I'm so confused. Why do we need

a strap on? I didn't use a strap on for

years and years and it's very rarely used.

Speaker 4: And I feel like I've had sex a lot of

times in.

Speaker 3: My life, very satisfied.

Speaker 1: They come quovid, Yeah.

Speaker 3: You don't need a strap on.

Speaker 2: I saw a TikTok the other day that like really

annoyed me, and I feel like they were just trying

to be funny, but it was like when you are

on vacation and you meet like the hottest woman ever,

but you forgot your strap on three thousand miles away,

so you can't fuck her. And I was like, God,

it's okay, you see strap on, but I don't understand

how you could still hook up with her and you could.

Speaker 1: Still an ultimate you can way to have sex.

Speaker 3: You can still fuck her? Like what are we talking about?

The L word? When the one guy mark or whatever

was like, how did two women have sex?

Speaker 1: Oh?

Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not possible for two women to have sex.

Speaker 1: He was like they don't. Yeah, but you can't like

fuck like man and women can fuck, but like women

and women they like, you know, do stuff. And Jenny

was like we fuck Like yeah, She's like, are you

living under a rock?

Speaker 3: Like? Are you?

Speaker 2: I fucked some women So because there is this emphasis

on penises or some sort of penetration, penetration and there

has to be something phallic shaped or it doesn't count.

Speaker 3: And I think it's really weird and heteronormative.

Speaker 2: And I don't like it. But I am not judging

you if you like lifelike strap ons, but I would

like a purple, sparkly one if if I have one, Yeah,

if I have one anyway.

Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god. Something popped into my head, and

I'm gonna say it. What if we get like a

butt im a lesbian for the fucking strap you know?

Like you know you can like custom make your own.

Speaker 3: Yeah, large, Because we're.

Speaker 1: Lesbians and we're obsessed with strap ons, I have to.

Speaker 2: Yeah, like Tricia Cook, anything colored think that we are

and we have to go like clean them. The where

everybody is wasn't Aubrey Plaza. I was like cleaning all

the sex toys in the kitchen.

Speaker 1: Margaret Margaret Margaret was oh whatever, any one of them

they were doing that, they were cleaning.

Speaker 2: The point being you can do lots of sex stuff

with another woman without a toy.

Speaker 3: But toys are fine, but you don't need it.

Speaker 2: If you forgot it and you're in Greece with this woman,

you could still have sex with her.

Speaker 3: You're gonna be in this very specific situation. You can,

you know it.

Speaker 1: Anyway if you DM them, I'm like.

Speaker 3: You guys, I have ideas.

Speaker 2: Okay, So thank you so much for listening to my

rant and for listening to us talk about a five

out of five movie. Yeah, i'd say, and thank you

for tuning in. We are your go to for saphic

media reviews, WLW drama and unfiltered queer takes. If you

enjoyed the show, please like, share, and subscribe on any

platform that you can and leave us a review to

help support the queer community and keep this lesbian led

pod thriving. After all the algorithms a bit and we're

just two lesbians with Mike's trying to survive.

Speaker 1: And don't miss next week's episode. It will be our

season finale. Yeah, we will be discussing the lesbian Thanksgiving

film Lesbomb and it's literally like awful.

Speaker 2: But oh, I was going to be like, is it

double or no, We've already told you it sucks.

Speaker 1: It's available on to be of course christ favorite. We

will also have an interview with an amazing special guest,

Marita Proger from the Ultimatum Queer Love season two. Yay,

so well.

Speaker 3: We'll see you next Tuesday.

Speaker 2: Executive producers for But I'm a Lesbian are Caitlin Beatty

and Angelina Herrera. Produced and mixed by Victoria Shiplett. Creative

direction and video editing provided by Juanita Herierte. Music by

Stiletto Falsetto.