Speaker 1: Welcome to but I'm a Lesbian, the podcast where we

serve all battye SaaS, queer film reviews, and everything in between.

Whether you are a baby.

Speaker 2: Gay or a queer elder, We're here, we're clear, and

we're diving deep into all things lesbian.

Speaker 1: We're your hosts, Caitlin and Angelina.

Speaker 2: Get ready for some sapphig serotonin. On today's episode, we

are discussing the incredibly true adventure of Two Girls in Love.

This film debuted in nineteen ninety five, and the outfits

and the Butcher representation are everything, especially to me because

I love the Butchers. This film is available on Amazon

Prime Video if you want to watch along.

Speaker 3: So, Angelina, since.

Speaker 2: This movie is all about love, tell me your love

story with your girlfriends.

Speaker 1: I feel like our love stories are very similar. I

remember when we first started talking, we were like, oh

my god, the similarities. So Yami and I met in

high school. We were in the same pee class and

we were friends, and then she moved away and we

lost touch. And then years later we met on her

which is a gay dating app, and then we were like, wait,

I know you, and so then we became friends again,

and then we started dating and then now we're together,

tell me about your love story.

Speaker 2: Well mine is yeah, it is similar to But I

think that first of all, I think her should sponsor us.

Speaker 1: They should. I found love on her, so I've been

trying to tell everybody about her go on her, you know.

Speaker 2: Like I'm telling everybody about her meeting Yami, but also

her meeting the app.

Speaker 4: Yes.

Speaker 5: That's so funny though.

Speaker 2: Because I've seen on TikTok recently people being like, does

anyone actually find a girlfriend on her?

Speaker 5: And I always want to comment.

Speaker 2: And be like, actually, my friend yeah, So.

Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they should sponsor us.

Speaker 2: They did not exist when my wife and I got together.

But it is interesting because we also had the same

pe class our freshman year, but we didn't know that

and I only went to that school for like six months,

and she was like, I guess we had the same pe.

We had the same pe period, but she had the

other teacher. But like, we would be in the locker

room at the same time. And we found that out

because we had a friend that whatever I was friends

with on Facebook still.

Speaker 3: And we were like, what, how do we know her?

Speaker 5: AnyWho?

Speaker 2: We actually met on Facebook in twenty eleven and she

sent me a message and it said.

Speaker 3: It said your tattoo is badass.

Speaker 1: Oh wait, what tattoo was it?

Speaker 2: It was my chest piece, which just because she was

probably looking at my boobs. Okay, no, okay, but then

there's more boob stuff. So then then we were like

texting for a while, but I was really nervous because

I have social anxiety, and I was like, I don't

really want to meet her in real life, so I

was like scared. And then one time we were both

going to be at the bars downtown in our town

on the same night, but we didn't make plans to

meet because I was scared and I want to be

drunk first before I met her because I was nervous.

And this is why I don't drink alcohol anymore, because

obviously I had a problem with relying on it for life.

So we were at this bar called the Library, and

it's like the scummiest bar, and I was walking out

of the Library and she was walking in and she

ran into me, literally her face ran into my boobies.

And then and then I was like, oh my god,

and I went to give her a handshake and she

was like, that's weird. And then she gave me a

hug and then I was like, okay, I'm going next

door to take shotsa tequila. Then I went next door

and took shots to tequil. Then I came back and

then we like made out because I wasn't scared.

Speaker 5: Anymore and you're like, hey, yes.

Speaker 2: And then she told her friends like did you see

that girl? She's gonna be my girlfriend? And I was,

but it took like two more years because I wanted

to be young, wild and free, so like there were

times where we were like, oh, we're dating sworda and

then I was like no, and then I ghosted her

because I'm an Aquarius and I'm sorry, but she's also

an Aquarius.

Speaker 1: It's all it's airsigme thing.

Speaker 5: Yeah.

Speaker 2: AnyWho, that's our story, and at some point I asked

her to be my girlfriend. That is also important because

I think that is dom fem representation because when I

asked her, she was like, oh my god.

Speaker 3: Yeah, She's like no one's ever asked me before.

Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, you're like what A? So

I asked John too, so dom Fem's rows up.

Speaker 5: Yes, Okay, I love that.

Speaker 3: So yeah, cute pe class I hated Pe.

Speaker 5: Did you like PE.

Speaker 1: No I hated P.

Speaker 5: Yeah, I hate it.

Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I know, any type of physical activity

and then having to change back into your clothes while

you're sweaty and disgusting is awful.

Speaker 2: I was always chubby, so I was like embarrassed to

be in the in the locker room with all the

skinny girls that had their Victoria's secret like matching bras

and panies, and I in the era that I was in,

like middle school in early high school, it was the

era where they would go tanning and they would put

the little Playboy bunny sticker and around it. But they

had these like they were so skinny, their little hip bones,

and I felt like I was like chunky.

Speaker 3: Anyway, I didn't like PE. Is the point.

Speaker 2: My wife liked PE, which is also probably a good

thing that we didn't meet each other.

Speaker 1: Yeah, but I.

Speaker 5: Think she should be a PE teacher.

Speaker 2: I still think this because I even though I don't

like PE, I have a thing for like butch PE teachers,

where I'm like, oh, you tell me to run the

mile girl, maybe I'll do it.

Speaker 1: You're maybe I'll do it.

Speaker 3: Maybe what are you gonna do?

Speaker 1: Maybe?

Speaker 5: AnyWho?

Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, Okay, now it's time for our hot taps

and burning desires. So what is your hot take or

burning desire?

Speaker 2: Okay, So I just want to say, and I don't

know if this was like as taboo in the time

period as it is now.

Speaker 5: Do you have the same thought.

Speaker 1: I want to say, it's gonna be the same thought

you're gonna say about the age difference. The creepy lady.

Speaker 2: Married this married woman, adult woman was doing sex stuff

with a child.

Speaker 1: She was seventeeen.

Speaker 2: Yeah, and they would like meet at the gas station

and they were doing things in the bathroom.

Speaker 3: And I think this is so inappropriate.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I understand that Maskatina Canard was hot, but she

was a child.

Speaker 3: She should have backed the fuck up.

Speaker 1: Yeah she was.

Speaker 3: I get like that.

Speaker 1: I get Randy's whole thing where she's like, oh, I'm

dating an older woman, like a married woman, but the

married woman show have known better. Well, she's ten years

older than she kind of is here, you know, I'm

saying she could have been like I get like Randy's

parterview where she's like, oh, I don't see anything wrong,

like I'm younger, you know what I mean. But Wendy, Wendy.

Speaker 5: Yeah, I remember her name.

Speaker 2: I was like, a lady is a put by all,

That's what I wrote. I was like, I don't like her, So.

Speaker 5: Was that your same? Yay?

Speaker 2: Okay, well we both do not like that, so well

that was easy imagine.

Speaker 1: I'm like, no, that's totally okay.

Speaker 5: Like no, I love that.

Speaker 2: You guys are gonna find out as we get into

more episodes that I am not a fan of.

Speaker 3: I'm not a fan of age gaps, like big age gaps.

Speaker 2: Like we're gonna review Carol, but I'm gonna tell you

ahead of time, I don't like it because I think

that that lady is kind of creepy, and Rooney Mara

is Rooney Mara.

Speaker 5: Yeah right.

Speaker 3: I always can get confused if it's Kate or Rooney.

Speaker 2: But she was really young, and that she Kate Blanchett's

character was like Carol was old. Yeah, I know, people

are getta be mad at me, so maybe I shouldn't

said that.

Speaker 5: AnyWho.

Speaker 2: Coming up next, we're going to head into the full recap,

so if you haven't seen the movie, you're gonna understand

who's this creepy lady we're talking about. But first we're

going to take a little.

Speaker 4: Break, So we got some Bravos.

Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, mis the Caitlin Actually yeah, so okay, I

have always wanted I'm sure.

Speaker 3: I mean, I think everybody has seen these.

Speaker 2: A couple of years ago, these Ta three bathing suits

that are like the sinching they have like the corset

on the back.

Speaker 5: They went like really viral.

Speaker 2: Everybody was posting videos where they were like, put on

the bathing suit. It's already kind of like snatching them

and then they pull the ties and then it's like it's.

Speaker 5: Like where did their waist go?

Speaker 2: Girl? So I was like, I need this, but you

know what, They're like one hundred and seventy eight dollars

and so I was like, I can't afford this. So

I wanted to buy a ripoff one, but I was like,

it's probably not as good. I don't think they are

as good, I'm gonna tell you so. Anyway, they were

so so nice and they sent us each a free bathing.

Speaker 3: Suit, and I have to show you mine.

Speaker 2: If you're on YouTube, you can see I'm leaving my

Pam Anderson Baywatch fantasy. I don't know if my wife

is going to feel comfortable with me wearing this at

the beach because it's very boom, the boobies are booby.

Speaker 5: Ing and the waste is non existent. But I feel

really hot in it.

Speaker 1: That's all that matters. Right, Yes, this is just Leopard print, so,

as our producer said, it's lesbian Tarzan and I love that.

So that's what I'm going to be at the beach.

Speaker 5: Yes, I love it.

Speaker 3: I love Leppard print, right, it kind of go together anyho.

Speaker 5: I just want to talk about it. Ta three.

Speaker 2: They're the original of the sin ching snatching bathing suit.

Speaker 6: So yes, thank you to three, Yes, thank you, we

love them.

Speaker 1: Welcome back to but I'm a Lesbian. This week we

are discussing the incredibly true adventure of Two Girls in Love.

This movie is a classic sapphic film and features a

butcher baby Tina Canard aka Laurel Hollman. If you aren't

super fans of the L word, yeah.

Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure we've mentioned the L word somehow in

every every episode. We're like the I don't plan to

stop because it's iconic. Yeah, and I mean this is

Tina Canard at her hottest.

Speaker 1: I would agree, because you didn't like Tina in the

outward We're like, no, she's like, no one's option. But yeah,

but in this movie, I'm like, oh, okay, I'm like.

Speaker 3: Yes, So overall, I think she wears at some point.

Speaker 1: I don't know if she does wear over. She looks

really good in this. So the movie starts, two women

are making out in the bathroom. We see Tina Kunard,

which is Laurel Hollman known as Randy Dean in this movie,

and there's an older woman. They're making out and she's like,

slow down. But then they can't obviously have sex because

she's like, oh, I have to go, like ali. Her

husband is basically like why are you at the gas

station all the time? She's like running it around. So

she leaves and we get the sense obviously that she

should not be having an affair with a teenager because

she's a married woman. And I don't know how many

married teenagers you know, but I mean, I mean there

are some, but there are some, but I mean you

can tell rights to be older. And yeah, also she's

like a babyface Laurel in this movie. So yeah, I

wonder how all she was in real life for this movie,

do you know?

Speaker 2: I don't know, but I want to say she was

like eighteen or nineteen, Okay, But I do also want

to say say that the twenty this lady's supposed to

be twenty seven, that she's having the throw, she looks older,

but I don't know if it's like you know, you've

seen where people like photoshop the Golden Girls and they

put like current makeup and hair on them and they

look like normal forty five or fifty year old women.

Speaker 5: They don't look like.

Speaker 3: So so old.

Speaker 2: So maybe that's why. But also it's giving that she's

like a smoker.

Speaker 1: I don't know, Yeah, because everyone smokes in this movie. Yeah,

literally everyone.

Speaker 2: Are they in the South? Itsah, it's in the South,

but I don't know if they say the state.

Speaker 1: They don't say the state, but I feel like it

is the South.

Speaker 3: I agree with you.

Speaker 1: Because they have like that accent almost, yeah, very especially Yeah,

Randy definitely has that accent. Yeah, so Randy. As we

can see, she is an open lesbian and she lives

with her aunt Rebecca, who is also a butch lesbian,

and her girlfriend Vicki. In true lesbian fashion, she goes home,

they're having dinner and Rebecca's ex girlfriend Lena arrives and

she's like hey with their case and they're just like, oh, yeah,

she's gonna stay with us, which I thought was kind

of crazy.

Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we might have to talk on another

episode about that stereotype of lesbians being friends with their exes.

Speaker 3: But I'm going to tell you something. I'm not friends

with mine.

Speaker 1: Yeah. I feel like that's so common for them to

be like I yeah, yeah, I'm like, yeah, so Randy is.

You can tell she's sort of the outcast. She's made

fun of at school. People are talking. You can hear

them saying like, oh, she's a freak. I hear she's

like a lesbian and that's disgusting, weird. Oh my god,

she's so weird. And not to mention, she doesn't really

do well in school, she's just not interested in school.

She hates math, especially same girl because I hate math,

and I know, I know you hate math. That's okay.

And so her mom obviously left her and so she

lives with her aunt Rebecca, which I think is really

nice that she gets to be herself and it's in

like an accepting home.

Speaker 2: Also, I think it shows that Aunt Rebecca is a

really nice person because she only did to take in

her niece she took in her ex.

Speaker 1: Girlfriend I know. And Vicky's just like, okay, she's like Deniece, yes,

the ex girlriend.

Speaker 5: I don't know.

Speaker 1: Also, don't Lena and Vicky literally look the same, just

lighter hair color. Their curls are literally the same.

Speaker 2: Probably you just were both kind of like basic white women.

But I thought was like the hair. I was like, oh,

she has a type, obviously.

Speaker 5: I just I just liked Rebecca aunt Rebecca. I know,

I like this.

Speaker 1: I knew as soon as I saw this, I was like, oh,

I know which one's Kitlyn's.

Speaker 5: Wearing like a mechanic uniform.

Speaker 1: And so Randy is friends with Frank, who I love.

I think he's like one of my favorite characters. He's

so see yeah, he's very supportive. He's like, no, girl,

none of this pitty party. Pick yourself up. Also, I'll

help you with your math homework because you can't be

getting bad grades. Were their seniors.

Speaker 3: So you have to graduate.

Speaker 1: You need to graduate. You can't be doing any of this.

So Randy works at an old gas station with her coworker, Regina,

and she's just you know, listening to music, trying to

do her homework, which she does not really do well.

And then we see a fellow classmate of hers, her

name is Eb. She's like, I need help with my car.

I think that there needs to be airing this hire

and so Randy's like, okay, sure, let me help you,

and you know, they talk, but I feel like there

aren't any sparks initially where they're like, you know, I

think Randy sort of just still has Wendy on her mind,

which is the married woman, you know. So she's just

like gonna be nice. I'm helping her out, you know

kind of thing. And so then we see Evie and

her boyfriend arguing and she's just like I can't do this,

and he's just like, what do you mean? And then

he's just trying to put on a front when other

people are listening, and he's like, well, i'll call you

when I want to call you. Like she's the one

ending things and like having a fight, like initiating that fight,

and he's just, yeah, I call the shots here, yeah,

which is not true.

Speaker 5: But yeah.

Speaker 1: So Randy, for her own reason, is like just there's

like voiceover of her, like the teachers and everything else

telling her all these things, and she's just having a

moment basically kicking in bathroom stalls, and then she finds

Evie and Evie's crying, and they're just like, oh my god,

this is kind of awkward, like we're both having a moment,

and Randy's just like, we gotta step meeting like this,

Oh my god. And then they basically Evie shares that

she's having some problems with her love life and she's

just like, I don't know. We talk about this, and

then he's the exact same person. And then Randy's just like, oh, well,

you know, they say the girls mature faster than boys,

and she's just like, you think they would catch up

by seventeen, which I think is true. That thing is

so like outdated, excuse bad behavior.

Speaker 2: Yeah, but also they don't. Frontal lobes take forever to develop,

Like I really feel like, I don't know, because isn't

it like your frontal lobe is not developed till you

like twenty five? But I feel like, if you're a man,

is it any later? I don't care about studies about men.

I don't pay attention to them.

Speaker 1: We'll have to check this. We only know for we

can only speak for yeah, And so then Randy jokes

around saying like try dating a married woman, and then

he's like huh. She's like anyways, I mean everyone needs

love and they're like anyway, she's like anyways. So then

she offers her cigarette. They get caught smoking and they

go to detention where you can tell they're like bonding

and they're like, oh my god. And then outside, once

they're at the detention's over, they're just talking normally outside

of their school, and this random fucking woman literally drives

by and is like you fucking dyke and she's like

gock you and I'm like, okay, very but I guess

that's to show obviously that Randy is like bullied by everybody.

Speaker 5: And yeah people are haters, Yeah they are.

Speaker 1: And I'm like, she was literally just mining her business.

So Evie offers her a ride and she's like okay, sure,

like you know, well, I'll take the ride. And so

after that, I just said, oh, well, so lesbian of

to live with Rebecca, I know, So they discussed. That's

when Evie is basically asking these questions and Randy's like,

you're okay with me being a lesbian and she's like yeah,

I don't care, Like that doesn't bother me and Randy's

just like, well the other people at school do. And

then she's like, so tell me about like is it

true they hear dating a married woman? And she's like,

I didn't think you heard that, and she's like I

did hear that? Yeah, like and so then basically you

can tell like they are connecting and she is asking

her these questions and she's being honest about that, and

she also mentions about her home life where she's like, yeah,

my aunt also lives with her girlfriend there and she's

just like wow, like you get to be yourself at home,

which is nice, you know. And so basically Randy's like,

I came out to a girl and Rebecca's like that's

really great. I'm very proud of you, but you need

to be careful. And Randy's just like, why do you

have to be so like negative all the time, which

I understand. She just wants to protect her because she

knows the town that they live in. Yea, So she's like, okay, cool,

but also be careful, you know. And so basically, oh yeah,

the next day, oh like oh yeah, I thought they're arguing. Okay,

So Randy's at the gas station and then Wendy comes

by and she's like, I need to talk to you,

and she's like okay, Like we're going to hook up,

that's what Randy's thinking. Yeah, And Wendy's like, so basically

Allay's wondering why I'm coming to get gas here all

the time, and I think I need to stop. And

Randy's like, well, last time, I didn't see you for

two months. And so basically things end between them, and

Randy's like, well, that's okay, because I found a girl

my own age and you know we're dating.

Speaker 3: She's like trying to make her jealous.

Speaker 1: Yeah, she's trying to make her and Wendy's like, okay,

we'll have fun holding hands and going to the movies,

which I'm like, yeah, that's like age appropriate.

Speaker 5: Yeah, like okay, that's.

Speaker 1: How fun Dating's somebody your own age instead of me.

Speaker 3: Have fun with your gross husband.

Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. And so then they're just like I thought

that I think I wrote down that it's so funny

that their their fight is so like childish and they're

just like, oh my god, you drive me crazy. She's like,

you drive me crazy. And then that's it, and so

I'm like okay, yeah, Okay, you do not need to

be I'm glad that they ended it, yeah, because drama.

Yeah right. And so then Evie is shown with her

friends and her friends are like, so we heard that

you are hanging out with Randy Dean And she's just

like what do you like? What is this the KGB?

And they're like is it true? And she's like yeah,

Like what's wrong with them? They're like, don't you know

she's a freak? Like I think they call I wrote

down they called her a pothead and a Diesel Dike,

and I was like, okay, and so's nice to me, right,

like all the names that are so like the things.

They're like, oh, that's really gonna like gut them. I'm

like that sounds really cool. I want to be a

Diesel Dike.

Speaker 2: Yeah, because they're like kind of goodie goodie.

Speaker 1: Yeah.

Speaker 2: And like also, I think we can already tell that

ev is like really rich because she was driving a

Range Rover.

Speaker 1: Yeah, she's very ful rich.

Speaker 3: They're like fancy rich people.

Speaker 1: Yeah.

Speaker 5: I think that's you know, because Randy is not rich.

Speaker 1: She's not. They're not rich. I mean they have like

they have a house, but they're not rich. Ev has

they said she has like a mansion, like her house

is like huge. Yeah, And so her friends questioned her

and then they're like, oh my god, like you like her,

you have a thing for her. And she's like, no,

I don't. I'm just hanging out with her. And she's like,

I don't even know why I hang out with you.

But you know, we can tell that her friends are

not supportive at all, but ev is obviously more open minded,

and so Evie discloses that she has a basically complicated

relationship with her dad because he left their mom and

married a white woman, which she said really bothered her mom.

But then her mom was like, I don't understand why

you get so upset when I mentioned your father. He

has his life, we have ours. And she's just like

ignoring her, trying to like cook and stuff, and okay,

tell me what you think about her mom, because I

feel like her mom was just like smothering her, you

know what I mean. I feel like she yeah, I

feel like she was like she meant well, but she

was also like smothering her. And Eve was just trying

to be like, I'm dealing with like my hormones as

like a teenager, you know.

Speaker 2: I think she was just yeah, very like, this is

what I want from you, because isn't she talking to

her about college stuff?

Speaker 3: She like, you have to make sure you do this.

Speaker 5: For college, blah blah blah blah blah.

Speaker 2: She's like, do that, do this, do that, And like,

in a way, that's probably good because I my parents

never said anything about college and I didn't go to college.

I mean, I'm fine in life, but maybe if they

would have been push I don't know.

Speaker 1: You're like, maybe if you had you should have been

smothering me about it and said I was just drunk

and then I barely went to school. So then yeah,

she basically says she doesn't give her any space. And

so then Evie uh visits Randy at work and brings

her a book, which also before this, Randy leaves her

a cute no and she's just like, oh.

Speaker 5: My god, in her locker.

Speaker 1: Yeah, she leaves her note in her locker, which I

think is so cute. Did you ever leave anybody like

notes in their locker? No? Because did anybody ever leave you?

Did you have a locker?

Speaker 2: I had a locker, but I'm really bad with locks.

I always had to have other people.

Speaker 5: Open it for me.

Speaker 3: So I was like, uh, like passenger princess.

Speaker 5: I was like a lock princess.

Speaker 2: I would always be like and I'd be like, can

someone help me? So I never really used my locker. Also,

I never had like I think I told you, I

had like a boyfriend for an hour in high school.

Speaker 5: So there was nobody to leave me notes.

Speaker 1: Right, So no, that's okay.

Speaker 5: Notes we didn't have.

Speaker 1: We only have pe lockers. We didn't have like lockers.

It's just like the p and then you had to

clear your stuff out because it wasn't yours. It's like

it changes throughout the day kind of things.

Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, I was just so I guess, yeah, I know.

Speaker 1: So she leaves her a book in response to Randy's note,

which is so cute, and she's just like it's by

Walt Whitman and she's like, oh my god, how cool.

And she'd tells Okay, it's so funny because after she's

reading it, she's like telling everyone like, oh my god,

like do you know this book and they're like, yeah,

it's famous, like I had to read it in college

and she's like oh okay, and she's reading it. She's

like telling Regina I'm in love with her, and she's like,

that's what you said about Wendy. She's like, don't mention.

She's like, I know very very less to say that,

but I love Horse.

Speaker 2: After the book she's like so deep, like wow, and

so all women was so gay?

Speaker 3: Right, say that somebody also gay or somebody says yeah.

Speaker 1: Regina mentions it like twice. She's like he is such

a homo. She's like he's so gay.

Speaker 5: He's like I like this guy.

Speaker 1: She's like yeah. And so then Evie picks Randy up

and she's like, do you want to go for a drive?

And Regina's like yeah, sure, like go experience, like go

go and do that. So she they are like parked

in this field, which does make me think that it

is in the South because it's like that empty little

field there that they're hanging out in and they listen

to classical music and they're just like hanging out and talking.

And basically after they spend like their little day together,

they go to a diner and Randy's like they're talking

and she's telling her like I really want to hold

your hand, so don't get freaked out, and he's like,

I've held hands with the girl before, and she's like yeah,

but like with somebody like me, she's like, oh, I

guess not. And Randy's just like okay, but she's He's

like what would happen? And she's like, we'd get the

shit beat out of us, because you know, she's like,

I just don't believe that. And Randy's like, you're very sheltered,

and she's like, unshelter me. Yeah, she's like unshelter me,

which I'm like, okay, but also yeah, it just goes

to show she does not understand. Yeah, I mean you

were literally with Randy when she got yelled at and

called a dyke, and she's just like, what would they

do if they saw us holding hands? Girl, They're gonna

beat both of you guys up. Yeah, And so they

do hold hands, but the waitress is like being really

rude towards Rand jealous. Yeah, she was just like making

like jokes, and Randy's just like, oh my god, now

I feel uncomfortable and I don't really want to hold

your hand. And he be's like no, it's okay, and

they like still hold hands, and I'm like, oh cute,

you know, because she's like you know and so Randy

invites Evy over for dinner, which she's like practicing to

tell her, like, hey, like trying to look cool to

be like come over dinner at my house Thursday night.

But then eventually she's like, you know, she invites her,

and Okay. There was a comment about the Tofu dogs

having artificial coloring in it, Yeah, which I loved because

they're just like, oh my god, and everything's very organic

and very like you.

Speaker 3: Know, nineties lessions.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, they probably have TOFOODI cuties, But do you

remember have you ever had those?

Speaker 1: I have those. I have those right now actually.

Speaker 5: There in my bud.

Speaker 2: But I remember I had a neighbor that was lactose

and taller when I was a kid, and I remember

I didn't like them at that time. I was like

when we would go to her house, that was the

only they'd be like, do you want ice cream? And

then it was the TOFOOI cuties and I was like e.

But also I didn't like ice cream sandwiches, so I

wanted ice cream, like you know those ice creams that

have a little wooden spoons.

Speaker 1: That, oh yeah, those are really good.

Speaker 2: Anyhow, I got a vegan version of that one time

and it made me so happy at the grocery outlet.

Speaker 1: Grocery outlet sponsor. Yes, And so they invite her over

and they're just like talking and they're asking her what,

like what does her mom do? And of course if,

like Caitlyn said, we can already tell she's very rich.

They went to Paris for a week, and I'm like,

oh my god, that's go them, I guess, right. And

so then after Evie's like, why doesn't your aunt Rebecca

like me, Is it because I'm black? And she's like, no,

I think it's just because you're rich.

Speaker 5: Because you're rich. Actually, she's like.

Speaker 1: It's not because you're black, it's because you're rich. And

she's like oh, she's like and she also just like

it needs some time, You need some time to get

to know her and she'll warm up.

Speaker 2: And you know, I think it's also because she wants

to protect her. She doesn't want her to get her

heart broken by a stray girl. Yeah.

Speaker 1: I feel yeah, because she's like, no, that's yeah.

Speaker 5: I just she asked that.

Speaker 1: Well, she's like, is it because I'm black? And she's like, no,

maybe that you can go to Paris for a week. Yeah, yeah,

And so after that they kiss, which I that was

funny when she's like, do you want here? Do you

want like chewing gum? And she's like sure, and they're

both chewing gum and then they look at each other

and they're like and then they kiss, and then obviously

they're kissing, and then I know their first kiss, which

is very cute, and it's at night and they're.

Speaker 3: Just like you know, and they're like front yard yeah,

and I'm like oh.

Speaker 1: And so after that, it's like a montage of their

relationship and they're like doing all these very cute gay things.

They're like frolicking in the like field, yeah, They're like

twirling around, they're like laying down, and then they're like

playing with each other's hair and like touching their stomach,

and they're talking about like kids, and Randy's like I

want kids and he's like you do. She's like yeah,

Like why wouldn't I She's like because.

Speaker 3: They're a lesbian.

Speaker 1: Yeah, She's like lesbians can't have kids. And they're like

talking about their future and stuff and they're like, oh

my god, I hope that we know each other when

we're older. And then they they're like, oh my god,

thirty when they're like older.

Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a long time ago for me now.

Speaker 1: And so then after Evie's mom does notice a change

in her and she's like, if you can't tell me,

you can't tell anybody. And Evie's like, oh my god, mom, what,

like can you stop with this. I'm trying to like

break away from you, which is normal, like be my

own person. Anyways, She's just like, leave me alone. And

so then Randy is told in the counselor's office that

she's not gonna graduate because she sucks at math and

that was her reason, like to pass math so that

she can graduate. And Randy's like, oh my god, my

aunt Rebecca's gonna kill me. Yea, now I'm not graduating.

And then she's at work, and if things couldn't already

get worse for Randy, Wendy's husband Ali comes in is like.

Speaker 5: Where is she?

Speaker 1: Where are you? And he's like I told you to

leave Wendy alone. I don't want you messing around with her,

and he's like pushing her against the thing and okay,

Regina didn't do enough for me in this. She like

is hitting him with the flieswater, but I'm like he

literally is grabbing her by the Also.

Speaker 5: He's like a really big man, and she.

Speaker 1: Yes, She's like stop it, stop her, I'm gonna call

the cops. Get out of here, Ali and I'm like,

oh my god. And so basically he leaves and she's

just like, oh my god, I need to put some

ice because he like bruised her neck. And so then

Evie's just like, are you okay? But also, do you

want to come over to my house this weekend because

it's gonna be my eighteenth birthday and my mom is gone,

so we can have a lot of fun. We can

have such She's like, we can have a lot of fun.

Speaker 5: Oh, I wonder what right.

Speaker 1: So then Wendy comes to apologize and she's like, oh

my god, I'm so sorry, and Randy's like this is Evie.

And Evie's just like, oh my god. And Wendy's like,

oh interesting. And then she's like do you love her?

Evie asked Randy, and she's like, no, I love you,

and they're like, oh my god, she's like you. And

so then she comes up. Randy comes up with this

plan to tell her and Rebecca, I'm gonna stay at

Franks because he got his heart broken by this guy,

and I'm staying there the whole weekend and Rebecca's like suspicious,

but okay whatever. So then they get there and they

are just like, oh my god, let's drink wine, let's smoke,

let's eat a lot of food, and let's like fuck

up the house, which they do in true teenage fashion.

And then after they're like sitting there, they're like making

out and then they have sex for the first time,

Oh my god, which we're like, yay, like go them.

They're just happy. Yeah, so happy for them. And then

they fall asleep, and then we see Evie's mom is

coming home and she's like trying to surprise her and

she's like, what the fuck is going on with my house?

Speaker 3: Like it's a mess, and they made a huge mess.

Speaker 1: I was like what they did, But I guess they

like thought that they'd have the weekend to clean it up,

because she literally left for one day and then she

came back.

Speaker 2: She thought that Evie was gonna call her like right

on at midnight at our et say or something, and

then she didn't answer the phone. When her mom was

calling to the mom was like, oh my god, I'm

worried about you. Which reminds me of the L word

with that time when Tina was pregnant and she wasn't

answering the phone because she took the phone off the

hook and.

Speaker 3: Then flew from New York to come baal.

Speaker 1: Yeah, see we mentioned that we're in episode. And so

then her mom is like coming up the stairs, like, Evie,

what is going on? Which I guess the reason why

they didn't hear is because they have such a big

fucking house.

Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean yeah, so she's like, can't hear from

the other wing? Yeah exactly.

Speaker 1: But then Randy's like, oh my god. Wait, and then

they like are barely like getting up, which you can

tell that they're naked, right, and Evie's mom is like,

oh my god, like get out of my house, like

what's going on? And they're scrambling, they're trying to run,

and Evie's mom doesn't see that it's a girl at

first because she thinks that Randy's a boy. And then

she's like, oh my god, it's a girl, and she

freaks out even more. Yeah, and she's like yelly, like,

get out of my house. And then Randy's running off

and Evie's like wait, wait she runs off as well,

and they just like run. They're like, get in the car, go, go, go,

and they're like, oh my god. They're freaking out because

you know, they've been discovered. They end up in a motel.

They argue because they're both upset, and she's just like,

you should have stayed with me, and then they're like, well,

what do you want me to do? And they're like

we have no money, so how long have yeah? How

long can we stay here? And they're like looking in

their wallet and they're like oh. And also, Evie came

out to her friends and of course, not a shock,

they were homophobic and they dropped her because they were like,

if you're going to date someone, at least date someone prettier,

which is kind of crazy. But then they're also like,

we can't deal with you being gay. So she lost

all her friends. So she has zero friends, zero support,

and Randy's like, well, they think of the only person

to call Wendy because Wendy's like call me if you

need anything, which I thought was kind of nice as

she came, but it's like the least you can do, right, Yeah,

So Rebecca goes to see goes into randy room and

sees the letter from Randy's high school saying that she's

not going to graduate, and so she's like mad. She

calls Frank. Frank calls EV's thinking that it's gonna be Randy.

They get mixed up somehow and they like team up.

So Rebecca aunt, Rebecca and Evie's mom and Frank and

the ex girlfriend and are in the car searching for

ev and Randy. And in between this, Ali, I don't know,

how does he have like a tracker on Wendy because

he just shows up to the motel and I was like,

I know you're in there, and she's like, oh my god,

And I'm like, are you just following her all day?

So what the body?

Speaker 2: He's like, I gotta make sure she's not yeah, towards children.

Speaker 5: Again, what the hell?

Speaker 1: Which is funny because he's like, I told you to

stay away from my wife because if she's not the

one trying to.

Speaker 2: My wife is straight and you're a predatory. Let's yeah,

that's like his mind.

Speaker 1: Yeah. So then they like all get mixed up and

they pretend that ev is like a domestic violence survivor

and then he's like, do you need a ride? And

she's like no, I'm fine. I have my range rover

out there. I think they leave and everyone finds out that,

including Evie's friends. So it's like a group of people

yelling and like arguing with each other trying to get

Eve and Randy to come out, and they're just like,

oh my god, what do we do, Like we don't

want to come out, but then they're like, Okay, fuck it,

I guess we have to. They open the door and

it's just like everyone and they just like cover their

ears and they're like, let's kiss, and then they kiss

and then they're just like happy ending, which to me,

I guess that's a happy enough ending to me, I

don't know. I prefer to be like they live happily

ever after and they get married and they stay together

forever and ever.

Speaker 2: Well, maybe they need you and maybe they have kids,

yeah they talked about yeah, but yeah, I think like

the whole like covering each other's ears thing, I don't know,

it's kind of cute, right, because.

Speaker 3: It's like they are in their own world.

Speaker 2: They're just like love and they can drown everyone else

and all their other responsibilities, like graduated from high school.

Speaker 5: I know.

Speaker 1: Not to mention the fact that Randy's not going to graduate.

Speaker 2: He's like already, I hope that Evie can like tutor

her enough for her to graduate. I don't know, or

I mean, I guess to be realistic, that probably didn't happen,

and maybe Randy like works at the gas station for

a long time and then like Evie eventually gets sick

of her because she's like I.

Speaker 5: Thought about that, you know, Mama, Yeah, but let's hope.

Not let's hope, maybe you were saying.

Speaker 1: And now for the moment you've all been waiting for

our version of munch merge murder. So the options are

Aunt Rebecca, the ex girlfriend, and Regina, which kind of

rhymes but what are your what are your three?

Speaker 4: Uh?

Speaker 2: Well, I think we know hard eyes for Aunt Rebecca.

I would merge with Aunt Rebecca, but I would not

let her have her ex girlfriends come live with us.

Speaker 5: I'm sorry. I got a job the line somewhere.

Speaker 2: And speaking of that, I would uh murder our ex

girlfriend Lena because she was really annoying to me.

Speaker 1: She was she wanted to be a boxer, which I

didn't mention because I felt like was irrelevant.

Speaker 2: But I'm like, girl, why are you even there, like

she's very self important. Also, didn't she say that her

boyfriend broke up with her? And so I was like, yeah,

like did she leave her.

Speaker 5: For a man?

Speaker 1: And then Rebecca also said that it's like years that

they had been broken up for years.

Speaker 2: Okay, but I'm like whatever, yeah, and then I would

mount Regina.

Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I would definitely merge with Rebecca as well, because.

Speaker 3: She seems very stable with her next job or whatever

it is.

Speaker 5: Yeah, I like it.

Speaker 1: I'm stuck. I think I'm probably gonna do the same.

I think I'm gonna murder Lena. And then Mon's Regina.

Speaker 2: Yeah, Regina was mainly nice, but she should have done

more to protect the child coworker from that giant man.

Speaker 1: But yes, and also Wendy too. She should have been like,

this is not okay, don't come back here, don't do this.

Speaker 3: No, you're right.

Speaker 2: And then we are also going to be rating this

movie on a scale of one to five cherries, So

I want to know what is your rating.

Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it a four to five. Oh okay,

what about you.

Speaker 2: I think you're a way harsher rader than me, because

I I give it five on five, I love it.

I thought it was so sweet. I thought it was

interesting because the first time I watched this, I was

like a teenager, and so it was interesting to now

like with a grown up mind, and I was like,

oh my god, they're being so dumb, like why did

they make this huge mess? Why didn't she just like

answer the phone or like whatever. But I still I

still really liked it. I thought it was so cute.

I wish that I had been out in high school

and I had a cute girlfriend, like we loved each other.

Speaker 1: That would me no ites a ma locer, But I

guess the way it was was meant to be that

we came out later.

Speaker 3: Yeah, anything happens for a reason.

Speaker 5: Anything, Yeah, I believe it. But I kind of.

Speaker 1: Wanted to be out in high school.

Speaker 5: I think you cute.

Speaker 3: But I did go to prom with a girl, but

it was my best friend.

Speaker 1: Me too. I went with my best friend. Yeah, but

already thought we were lesbian, so I guess like it

wasn't a shock to anybody. But still it was a

shock to me because I wasn't out, So I'm like,

it mattered to me.

Speaker 2: No, she's straight, okay, because mine was my best friend

that then became my first girlfriend. But she didn't become

my first girlfriend until after high school, like when we

were nineteen.

Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense.

Speaker 3: So anyhow, that's not the important part.

Speaker 2: So if you're enjoying but I'm a Lesbian, please head

over to our Instagram or TikTok and follow to stay

up to date on our newest episodes, hot takes, and

our special guest bars. Follow at butt I'm a Lesbian

pod on TikTok, Instagram, and even Facebook. So this week,

for our last little segment, we are going to be

digging into our adorable cookie jar.

Speaker 3: And asking each other some random questions.

Speaker 5: Okay, you can.

Speaker 3: Do the honors of picking the first question.

Speaker 2: I literally didn't even read these questions, so it's always

a real.

Speaker 1: Okay, Oh my god, this is so okay. Have you

ever fallen for your best friend?

Speaker 5: And did they know WHOA? Okay, that's crazy.

Speaker 2: So yeah, it was interesting because the only reason that

I think we ever actually got together is because I

was like kind of coming out, but I hadn't officially

come out. I was talking to this other girl and

I was living in the Bay Area, and then my

best friend at the time came to visit because she

was my best friend.

Speaker 5: And then they started this is so messy.

Speaker 2: They started to like each other, and then I found

out that like we all had this like sleepover.

Speaker 3: Thing at that girl's house.

Speaker 2: I found out they were like every time I went

to take the ser take a shower, I went to

the bathroom, they were like making out anyway. So then

when I found that out, I was like really upset,

and I told my best friend at the time, like,

I'm really mad because I like you, and she was like, well,

I like Brittany, but I like you more.

Speaker 1: And then.

Speaker 5: I didn't say her last name.

Speaker 2: There's so many people Britney spears and so it's Britney

bitch and so I was like, okay, so.

Speaker 3: We like each other, are we dating?

Speaker 2: So then we started dating, and then it was weird

because we didn't kiss for like, I don't know, like

a month after we started dating, because it was just

awkward anyway. And then she was not a good person

and she was a cancer and that's why I don't

really like cancers.

Speaker 1: Yeah, aquery says, some cancers don't mix. I know, we

keep keep trying to tell you. I don't know who

I told other than like my family. So I guess

it's a surprise, but cancersuariuses don't mix.

Speaker 2: No, yeah, anyhow did that ever happen to you?

Speaker 1: No? I think, like, well, now, I'm like, so, I

know it's so silly, but I'm like, yeahmy's my best friend.

But at the time in high school we weren't best friends.

We had like many crushes on each other. But like

as far as like my best friend in high school, No,

I wasn't in love with her. I think probably like

elementary maybe where it wasn't love. It was just like

I think, I like really like this person, but I

was like, oh my god, I just really want to

be that person. Yeah you know, I'm like I'll just

be them. But I definitely was just like oh my god,

like you know, so no, okay.

Speaker 3: But this leads into another question that was not in

the jar.

Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if it is, but have

you ever had a close friend fall from you and

you don't feel that way?

Speaker 1: No, I don't think so. I don't think anyone's ever

I'm like thinking, but I kind of don't want to

mention that on you just in case. But also no,

I don't think so it was just like one of

those very weird like friendships that you have yeah with

like you know when you're like younger. But it wasn't

ever like anything that was like we both love each

other or that person did and I didn't, you know, So.

Speaker 3: Yeah, I had a I think I told you this.

Speaker 5: I was like kind and nervous too.

Speaker 2: I've never had like a close friend that's a lesbian

because the only other time I did, she ended up

having a crush on me and like hitting on me,

and then my wife saw the text where she was

like I would treat you so much better.

Speaker 1: Than wah and telling me that, yeah.

Speaker 5: I awkward, and I thought we were just friends.

Speaker 1: Not to mention I don't know if you want to

mention that, but like her relationship status, your friends, her

relationship size, no, her relationship status.

Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, she also had a girlfriend. And

then it was just very messy and awkward. So anyway,

well that's not gonna happen with us, Okay, okay, what

what's your ultimate sapphok anthem?

Speaker 5: Okay, Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3: I know it's like putting you on the spot, like

I know, like, what's the song? I'm like, I gotta

get any songs in the world.

Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god. I'm like, okay, okay,

I know it. She's not necessarily like I want to say,

she is like a queer icon. But I loved Cyndi

Lapper growing up and I love she Bop. And my

mom was like, do you know what that song is about?

And I was like, yes, I looked it up. It's

about masturbating. But I was like, it's like female powers.

So I diduld sing that song and I'd watched the

news video and I'm like, oh my god, she's like

so cool. I'm like, I'm gonna be I think.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker 1: My mom was just like because she was listening to

it too, and she's like do you know And I

was like, yes, I do, and I like pulled up

the screen and I'm like, do you see what it

says there too, because I have like facts, And she

was just like, I'm just gonna leave this. But that's

that's mine because that's the only one that I would

listen to all the time because I was just like, yeah, anyways.

Speaker 5: What is your okay, I don't know, I have a lot.

Speaker 2: I'm thinking fast car, which I don't know if it's

a lesbian anthem.

Speaker 5: But I love that song forever. And Tracy Chapman is gay.

Speaker 2: I mean, she's never public talked about her sexuality, but

she definitely publicly dated Alice Walker, who was a woman,

so we know that she is not straight. And she

has this like sexy, deep voice. And I remember I

would always listen to it when I was a kid

in like the backseat of the car, and then I

feel like the other one come too.

Speaker 3: Wait, I'm not that's the same, right.

Speaker 1: But it's your version. It's your version. Yeah.

Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's Melissa Ethrit.

Speaker 1: Oh my god, wait, I am Suma Windo. Oh that's

Jessica sim for you, Jessica Simpson akak Yeah.

Speaker 5: No.

Speaker 2: I I love that because I remember my mom was like,

she's a lesbian, like, and I was like, you're like cool.

Speaker 5: I think I told you this.

Speaker 2: I don't think I've talked about this on the pod yet,

but the first time I heard the word lesbian was

because of the show Friends, and my mom would watch

it and I was literally like five years old, and

they kept talking about how Ross's ex wife Carol is

a lesbian, and my mom what that meant, and she

said it means a girl who likes girls.

Speaker 5: And I said I'm that and she.

Speaker 2: Was like, no, it doesn't mean what you know, she's

not that you want to be friends.

Speaker 3: Come to find out you're like, sorry, mom, actulutely.

Speaker 5: Yeah.

Speaker 2: So I know that friends was really problematic in a

lot of ways, but it holds a special.

Speaker 5: Place in my heart.

Speaker 1: Has it introduced you to I?

Speaker 5: You could marry a woman, You're like, Carol did?

Speaker 3: They all made fun of it, but I was like

that's cool.

Speaker 1: You're like I love this. Why is everyone like ooh weird? Okay,

should we do another?

Speaker 3: We have time for another, time for another.

Speaker 5: Okay.

Speaker 1: I'll just pick the point up here in your dating life.

If you're dating life for a film, what would it

be called?

Speaker 2: Does it have to does this mean like a film

that already exists, or I just call it something I.

Speaker 1: Want to say, either like if a film relates to

your dating life or if you can think of something.

Speaker 2: Okay, because I got this comment, I post it on

TikTok on my personal account. One of those things that

was like, oh, show like a picture of your you

and your partner every year you've been together. Someone commented

on it and I was a little offended, but I

was like, what do you mean. They were like, oh, wow,

the elders are subtling now or whatever, and I was like, oh,

I saw you say.

Speaker 1: You're like we've been said.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I was like, okay, but so I guess I

would call it like settled in.

Speaker 5: Okay, I like that anyway.

Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, let's think, let's see. Oh my god,

I have the name for this. What's the word? Okay? Yes,

but I was also going to say, like, okay, you

know what, I like that cratch scratched that. I like

that was running the mile smile.

Speaker 5: That's a different movie.

Speaker 1: Yes, No, I like fizzed. We'll just go with a

fizzed Okay, it sounds scary.

Speaker 2: So I think that's all we have time for. But

thank you so much for tuning in to Butt I'm

a Lesbian. We are your go to for soffik media reviews,

WLW drama, and unfiltered queer takes. If you enjoyed the show,

please like, share, and subscribe on every platform. Leave us

a review to help support the queer community and keep

this lesbian lead pod thriving.

Speaker 3: We need more bathing suits.

Speaker 2: To us to remain thriving after all, the algorithms a

bitch and we're just too lesbians with Mike's trying to survive,

So make sure to tune in.

Speaker 1: Next week we will be going over another nineties classic,

The Watermelon Woman My Favorite, which is available on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 5: See you next Tuesday.

Speaker 2: Executive producers for Butt I'm a Lesbian are Caitlin Batty

and Angelina Herrera. Produced and mixed by Vic Torria Shiplett.

Creative direction and video editing provided by Juanita Heriote. Music

by Stiletto Falsetto.