<v Speaker 1>If a guy's going to give up and because you

<v Speaker 1>weren't available when he asked, is going to be like, well,

<v Speaker 1>I'm never talking to her again, then that tells you

<v Speaker 1>everything you need to know. Main characters are like, okay,

<v Speaker 1>it does not matter. Next, Hey babe, it's Asia Christina As.

<v Speaker 1>This is Quality Queen Control. What is happening? Hello? Everyone,

<v Speaker 1>welcome to Quality Queen Control. I am your host, Asha

<v Speaker 1>Christina Foster. How are you feeling on today? Oh, make

<v Speaker 1>sure that you are following me on the podcast Instagram.

<v Speaker 1>We're trying to grow to ten thousand followers on the

<v Speaker 1>podcast Instagram. We're currently at like a little over seven thousand,

<v Speaker 1>and we have some fun little things that we're going

<v Speaker 1>to be doing now. We added an amazing person to

<v Speaker 1>the team, Maguru, and she's going to be helping with

<v Speaker 1>the aesthetics and everything and getting us together. So we

<v Speaker 1>have a new thing called Tea Time Tuesdays okay, where

<v Speaker 1>you guys will be submitting tea based off of the

<v Speaker 1>prompt that I post, and so just make sure that

<v Speaker 1>you're looking out for that. I don't know what day

<v Speaker 1>you are going to be seeing this, but if you

<v Speaker 1>follow the instagram you will see on Tuesdays, we will

<v Speaker 1>have tea time Tuesdays and you can share your stories

<v Speaker 1>all anonymously, okay, so do not worry, no one will

<v Speaker 1>ever know that you said this or anything. I will

<v Speaker 1>never expose anything. So yeah, that is super fun. And

<v Speaker 1>then on Mondays we'll do like a little like Tip

<v Speaker 1>of the Day things like that. So we're definitely sprucing

<v Speaker 1>it up. So today we're gonna be talking about main

<v Speaker 1>character ener g all right, and why a lot of

<v Speaker 1>the times we tend to be exhausted because we are

<v Speaker 1>we are fulfilling roles that we honestly should not be right,

<v Speaker 1>So we have we have to be honest with ourselves.

<v Speaker 1>It's not that we are lacking potential, right, it's that

<v Speaker 1>we are lacking belief in ourselves. What exactly does main

<v Speaker 1>character energy and body right? And so your lack behavior

<v Speaker 1>is going to match the belief that you claim to have.

<v Speaker 1>Thoughts become things. So main character energy, first of all, yes,

<v Speaker 1>it sounds cute in theory, but it is very costly,

<v Speaker 1>all right, because it's more than just the affirmations, the macha,

<v Speaker 1>the morning routine. It's like, it's way more than that.

<v Speaker 1>It's responsibility it is waking up and saying, if my

<v Speaker 1>life falls apart, I'm not gonna blame my parents, my ex,

<v Speaker 1>my church, my trauma, or the algorithm, all these different things.

<v Speaker 1>Radical responsibility. So some of you want main character and

<v Speaker 1>you know results with side character discipline, Now, how is

<v Speaker 1>that gonna work? You really have to be her. So

<v Speaker 1>if you want the ring, the platform, the money, the glow,

<v Speaker 1>the respect, you can't neg you know, negotiate with procrastination.

<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you this as I'm living through this experience, right,

<v Speaker 1>everyone has different degrees to which they may procrastinate, et cetera,

<v Speaker 1>et cetera. And I really have to speak to myself,

<v Speaker 1>like even on days like today where that are my

<v Speaker 1>filming days, I have to say, all right, Asha, get up,

<v Speaker 1>get it done. You know what have you? And it

<v Speaker 1>actually is motivating because I completely have changed my mindset.

<v Speaker 1>There was a point in time where I'm sorry, but

<v Speaker 1>no matter what I did, and despite what I love,

<v Speaker 1>it still wasn't enough for me to get out of bed,

<v Speaker 1>even though I am excited and I genuinely do love it.

<v Speaker 1>So there was a little bit of a disconnect because

<v Speaker 1>I would always hear people say, you know you know,

<v Speaker 1>do something that is going to like make you get

<v Speaker 1>out of bed and all these different things. And I'm like, well,

<v Speaker 1>I do love what I do, but I still want

<v Speaker 1>to sleep and be cozy, you know. And me shifting

<v Speaker 1>my mindset and realizing that there is no reward for

<v Speaker 1>doing it tomorrow. There is no reward for literally delaying

<v Speaker 1>what you need, the work that needs to be produced

<v Speaker 1>today to advance yourself tomorrow. There is no reward for that.

<v Speaker 1>The reward you get for laziness. And what also helped

<v Speaker 1>me with this is honestly scripture, Like it's biblical that

<v Speaker 1>you should not like a man that is, you know,

<v Speaker 1>lazy and procrastinates is going to be experiencing poverty in

<v Speaker 1>their life. It is literally biblical that when you are

<v Speaker 1>a lazy person, you will see poverty in your life.

<v Speaker 1>I don't want that, right, we don't want that, okay,

<v Speaker 1>So we have to be able to do the work.

<v Speaker 1>And I also realize, you know, as I've gone through

<v Speaker 1>different you know, phases and realizations in my journey, that

<v Speaker 1>people that are ambitious are always moving forward, They're always

<v Speaker 1>doing something, something, something something. Of course, there's going to

<v Speaker 1>be a lot of things that do not work, but

<v Speaker 1>you also get to your conclusion of what does work

<v Speaker 1>a lot faster when you are uh, when you keep moving. Also,

<v Speaker 1>you know what they say, depression can't hit a moving target. Hello.

<v Speaker 1>So if you're still texting men who confuse you, if

<v Speaker 1>you're still over explaining yourself in rooms that you should

<v Speaker 1>have just got up and left, main character energy is

<v Speaker 1>going to require a cutting process. We all have to

<v Speaker 1>go through this, right. We all have engaged with men

<v Speaker 1>that are confusing us, and we're confused on the signs.

<v Speaker 1>We're making up in min excuses for it. But this

<v Speaker 1>is where most of you are going to fold. Because

<v Speaker 1>you are not going to cut your access to people

<v Speaker 1>and things and places. You have to do it and

<v Speaker 1>be prepared to be discussed talked about all the different things. Babe.

<v Speaker 1>The difference is is people were already talking about you.

<v Speaker 1>You're just finding it out. You have to believe, you know,

<v Speaker 1>you have to realize that believing you're in yourself is

<v Speaker 1>a spiritual decision. Life is spiritual, right. Low self belief

<v Speaker 1>is not humility. It is you being you, having a fear,

<v Speaker 1>and it's being disguised as the modesty. But you'll say

<v Speaker 1>things like oh I just don't want to be prideful.

<v Speaker 1>But really you're terrified of being seen. That's what it is.

<v Speaker 1>You are terrified of being seen. You don't want people

<v Speaker 1>to think you're doing too much. You don't want people

<v Speaker 1>to have more to criticize your tear of failing, maybe publicly.

<v Speaker 1>You're terrified of people judging you. Obviously, people are going

<v Speaker 1>to judge you. When you truly come to terms the

<v Speaker 1>fact that people are going to judge you regardless no

<v Speaker 1>matter what it is that you do, you will be

<v Speaker 1>okay with the fact that whether you do, whether you don't,

<v Speaker 1>people are going to have something to say. More importantly,

<v Speaker 1>you're terrified of the responsibility. How can I keep this

<v Speaker 1>up right? It's kind of that imposter syndrome. Am I

<v Speaker 1>going to be able to maintain being this this way?

<v Speaker 1>Am I going to be able to maintain my faith journey?

<v Speaker 1>Am I going to be able to maintain waking up

<v Speaker 1>at you know, a certain time to get all the

<v Speaker 1>things done that I need to get done? What if

<v Speaker 1>I wake up one day and I don't want to

<v Speaker 1>do it? Then? Am I going to start spiraling? And

<v Speaker 1>then everything is undone? The fear of the unknown, all

<v Speaker 1>these different things. But when you have faith, it's not

<v Speaker 1>only believing in God that you practice your faith, but

<v Speaker 1>it's believing that God did not make a mistake when

<v Speaker 1>he made you look at the story in the Bible

<v Speaker 1>with David and Goliath. Right before David became a king,

<v Speaker 1>he was overlooked. He was a sh shepherd boy. He

<v Speaker 1>was before he was crowned as king, God already called him.

<v Speaker 1>You ever heard that saying God does not call the qualified,

<v Speaker 1>he qualifies the called. I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.

<v Speaker 1>But before David fought Goliath, he was a shepherd boy.

<v Speaker 1>But then the moment came where he knew he had

<v Speaker 1>to go up against Goliath. And he didn't say, oh, no,

<v Speaker 1>I'm not qualified. No, he said, who is this uncircumcised

<v Speaker 1>philis sign? Aka? Okay, who is this? Huh? I'm gonna

<v Speaker 1>step up to the plate. That's the main character energy.

<v Speaker 1>It's not arrogance, but it's having the awareness of your

<v Speaker 1>assignment and stepping into it. There actually is a difference

<v Speaker 1>when you know that you belong in a certain place,

<v Speaker 1>there is a certain confidence that you have and it

<v Speaker 1>is not to be mistaken with arrogance. Right because arrogance

<v Speaker 1>I would argue almost stems a little bit from insecurity.

<v Speaker 1>You have to overseell because you don't feel worthy of

<v Speaker 1>said position. But there is a quiet confidence that you

<v Speaker 1>have when you know you belong in a certain place

<v Speaker 1>and you stand firm in that position. So a part

<v Speaker 1>of being the main character is going to require you

<v Speaker 1>to stop dating like an extra all right, some of

<v Speaker 1>you do not have main character energy when it comes

<v Speaker 1>to dating. I mean literally at all. You have please

<v Speaker 1>pick me energy? You do? You really really do? You

<v Speaker 1>overperform right? You over sexualize everything right. I think we

<v Speaker 1>should all have the awareness now that sexual behavior is

<v Speaker 1>not what's going to ever keep a man right. You

<v Speaker 1>might be able to get him, but girl, you're not

<v Speaker 1>going to be able to keep them right. You think dressing,

<v Speaker 1>what's showing everything is going to make a man want you? Right?

<v Speaker 1>You over communicate all the time because you're not being

<v Speaker 1>spoken to, So you want to make sure you're going

<v Speaker 1>out of your way because you're hoping that the more

<v Speaker 1>wanton you are then he will follow suit. You're being

<v Speaker 1>over accommodated. You know, oh well, just sudden, you know

<v Speaker 1>you can always like stay at my place. You know,

<v Speaker 1>it's not like anyone else is here. You know you

<v Speaker 1>can always like come by like whenever you want to

<v Speaker 1>give you. If I'm ever on your mind, please like

<v Speaker 1>I love surprises, please just like stop by my please

<v Speaker 1>stop with what you're doing. None of this is main

<v Speaker 1>character energy, all right? You call it being understanding. No,

<v Speaker 1>it's insecurity, That's what it is. Right. You'll say things

<v Speaker 1>like well, I just want to show him that I'm different,

<v Speaker 1>like different how by having no boundaries? Right, you are

<v Speaker 1>doing unpaid internships in men's lives. It ends today, Okay.

<v Speaker 1>If you are the main character, you understand that the

<v Speaker 1>show is about you. And I am of the belief

<v Speaker 1>happy wife, happy life in a relationship, men need to

<v Speaker 1>make my life easier. And in return, of course, like

<v Speaker 1>there is power in happy wife, happy life, there is

<v Speaker 1>power in a man investing in one woman and helping you,

<v Speaker 1>uh and being nurturing towards building her up as a woman.

<v Speaker 1>And as a result, there was you know, it's a

<v Speaker 1>beautiful outcome when a man is caring of you, he's

<v Speaker 1>invested in you, he is pursuing you, he's treating you

<v Speaker 1>with respect and honor. Trust me, it's life changing and

<v Speaker 1>you don't have to do anything to get it. All

<v Speaker 1>the women that are in healthy relationships, yes they exist.

<v Speaker 1>When you ask them what did you do to get

<v Speaker 1>this guy? I'm willing to bet a lot of them

<v Speaker 1>have said I didn't do anything special. Actually, like, there

<v Speaker 1>is no code that I can give you. There are

<v Speaker 1>no words to say in this order that are going

<v Speaker 1>to is going to make this man all of a

<v Speaker 1>sudden turn around and he is obsessed with you because

<v Speaker 1>you said this specific sentence and he wants to be

<v Speaker 1>with you because you said this, Like No, it's an

<v Speaker 1>energy that you carry, you know, that makes a man

<v Speaker 1>one curious about you. And then it's how you carry

<v Speaker 1>yourself and train him to treat you that will that

<v Speaker 1>will allow him to invest in you. But men are

<v Speaker 1>going to obvious to always casually observe your behavior because

<v Speaker 1>when you are the main character in dating, it's gonna

<v Speaker 1>look like not having to chase clarity. You don't feel

<v Speaker 1>the need to be like, well just letting you know

<v Speaker 1>I I I would love to you know, actually be

<v Speaker 1>your girlfriend. I remember when my boyfriend asked me on

<v Speaker 1>his own, you know, would you want to be asked?

<v Speaker 1>You know? And that, and I was like, yeah, of course,

<v Speaker 1>I would want to be asked, but I didn't. I

<v Speaker 1>didn't initiate the conversation. I wasn't like just letting you

<v Speaker 1>know I I would want to be asked. Like that's

<v Speaker 1>the to me, it's the same thing almost as asking

<v Speaker 1>would you want to be asked for you know, whether

<v Speaker 1>or not you want to get engaged or like, would

<v Speaker 1>you like? Of course every woman would love the surprise

<v Speaker 1>of being engaged. I'm telling you this right now for

<v Speaker 1>the men that are watching. Okay, women always want to

<v Speaker 1>be asked in a very meaningful way to be your girlfriend.

<v Speaker 1>There is not a woman on this earth and if

<v Speaker 1>she's if she says any difference, she's lying. That's like,

<v Speaker 1>you know what, I'm perfectly okay with you never asking

<v Speaker 1>me to be your girlfriend, because, uh, I just understand

<v Speaker 1>what it is. It's obvious that we're boyfriend and girlfriend.

<v Speaker 1>H uh uh No. No, No, titles give things meaning

<v Speaker 1>and meaning. A meaning gives assignment, and assignment means there

<v Speaker 1>are boundaries, and boundaries means there is respect, which now

<v Speaker 1>gives the gives you the ability to say, all right,

<v Speaker 1>if you do not perform within these parameters, or you

<v Speaker 1>perform outside of these parameters, said consequence is going to

<v Speaker 1>be the answer. Okay, You're also not going to convince

<v Speaker 1>a man of your value if you are the main

<v Speaker 1>character energy like hello, you don't need to convince or

<v Speaker 1>prove anything. I wish more of you understood this even more.

<v Speaker 1>It is okay to genuinely be yourself. Okay, you cannot

<v Speaker 1>run away the man that truly wants to pursue you.

<v Speaker 1>Think about all the times in your life where a

<v Speaker 1>man you were not even interested in a man, and

<v Speaker 1>or in that man in particular, and this man is

<v Speaker 1>not getting the hint. He's still hitting you up. He's

<v Speaker 1>still asking you out to dinner. You said no fifteen times,

<v Speaker 1>and he still is. You know, hey, I'm in the area.

<v Speaker 1>Would you be available? Like and you're like, no, go home, Roger,

<v Speaker 1>Like you're not interested in him in any capacity, but

<v Speaker 1>he still is relentless. So think about that. It's the

<v Speaker 1>same for guys that also are interested in you. You

<v Speaker 1>have to gauge how willing they are to pursue you.

<v Speaker 1>If a guy's gonna give up and because you weren't

<v Speaker 1>available when he asked, is going to be like, well,

<v Speaker 1>I'm never talking to her again, Then that tells you

<v Speaker 1>everything you need to know. Main characters are like, okay,

<v Speaker 1>it does not matter. Next you also do not shrink

<v Speaker 1>your standards so that you can keep, you know, access

<v Speaker 1>into people's lives or let other people keep access into

<v Speaker 1>your life by just you're playing yourself. When you're playing

<v Speaker 1>certain roles, you are playing yourself. And also you're not

<v Speaker 1>gonna beg for consistency. What is wrong with some of you?

<v Speaker 1>You got to break it down and explain to a

<v Speaker 1>man what communication means. You got to break it down

<v Speaker 1>and explain to him, by the way, whenever something is wrong,

<v Speaker 1>I really would like it if you express it to

<v Speaker 1>me and you don't just like ignore me for a

<v Speaker 1>month at a time. I don't know about some of you,

<v Speaker 1>but I'm not going to sit here and explain that

<v Speaker 1>to somebody. I'm sorry, I'm not if I got to

<v Speaker 1>teach you the basics of communication, why, like that's not

<v Speaker 1>going to work. And that also tells me you're not

<v Speaker 1>prepared for marriage, like a marriage mindset like some of

<v Speaker 1>you claim, because you don't have that option when it

<v Speaker 1>comes to marriage, right, and certain things need to be

<v Speaker 1>implemented way before marriage is even on the on the table.

<v Speaker 1>And some of those things are prerequisites, like how do

<v Speaker 1>we effectively communicate, how do we effectively problem solve? Right, So,

<v Speaker 1>if you find yourself in a situation where a man,

<v Speaker 1>the man that you're interested in, he disappears every time

<v Speaker 1>there's adversity, you got yourself a leever, you have yourself

<v Speaker 1>a man that's not really serious. He is emotionally stunted

<v Speaker 1>and immature. Because I'm telling you right now, he's not

<v Speaker 1>going to change that behavior by being your boyfriend. He's

<v Speaker 1>also not going to change that behavior if you marry him,

<v Speaker 1>he's going to operate in the same way where now

<v Speaker 1>he's walking out on you because he needs to process

<v Speaker 1>his feelings. He's gone for three days at a time

<v Speaker 1>and you don't even hear a word from him. Now

<v Speaker 1>you're scared to even bring up anything because you just

<v Speaker 1>want him to come back home, or you just want

<v Speaker 1>him to talk to you again. So now you are

<v Speaker 1>hoarding all your feelings because you don't want to make

<v Speaker 1>him run away and have to disappear again. And a

<v Speaker 1>lot of you put up with that type of behavior

<v Speaker 1>because of desperation. Oh I just you know what, whatever,

<v Speaker 1>I'm over it, and you're pretending to get over it

<v Speaker 1>get over like I'm gonna also call another thing out respectfully.

<v Speaker 1>Dolores Catana from Realizewise and New Jerry. I'm at the

<v Speaker 1>point in the season rewatching it where she's still with David.

<v Speaker 1>It's very obvious, obviously from It's very obvious obviously. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>it's very obvious from the outside looking in being an

<v Speaker 1>observer in the audience that clearly David is noncommittal. Okay.

<v Speaker 1>I don't know what his current status is, haven't checked

<v Speaker 1>on him, but from where I'm currently standing the season,

<v Speaker 1>he is noncommittal. And that's scary because he's definitely I'm

<v Speaker 1>sure at the time, at least in his forties, right,

<v Speaker 1>he's done the marriage thing. He has the kids, right,

<v Speaker 1>and he's great to her kids as well. He's also

<v Speaker 1>a great doctor. But he would not commit to her.

<v Speaker 1>This man was allowing her to live with her ex husband,

<v Speaker 1>all right, no problem. This man even took care of

<v Speaker 1>her ex husband, how kind and generous of him, when

<v Speaker 1>because they were divorced at that time for at least

<v Speaker 1>like twenty two years, so I guess it. Really it

<v Speaker 1>didn't even matter. And this man had no issue with

<v Speaker 1>a lot allowing her to consistently be around. I'm not

<v Speaker 1>saying he should be jealous, but it's just interesting how

<v Speaker 1>like he genuinely didn't care, like you could tell he

<v Speaker 1>just genuinely was okay with like whatever the dynamic was.

<v Speaker 1>He got her a Porsche instead of getting her a ring.

<v Speaker 1>He had her design his home, utilizing her ex husband

<v Speaker 1>to help them build the home. And she designed the

<v Speaker 1>home and she never even moved into it. That lit

<v Speaker 1>no fire under him. He was like, oh word, hi, Well,

<v Speaker 1>I'll see you when I see you, Dolores. I tell

<v Speaker 1>you all the time you can come over and spend

<v Speaker 1>the night. Why would I want to spend the night.

<v Speaker 1>I'm like a grown woman with kids. Why would I

<v Speaker 1>want to spend the night at your house? When I

<v Speaker 1>told you that I wanted a commitment? I told you

<v Speaker 1>that I mind you. At this point, she's barely even

<v Speaker 1>seeing him. On top of that, this guy's working all

<v Speaker 1>these hours. And then you get so used to functioning

<v Speaker 1>in being shut down that you make excuses for it.

<v Speaker 1>And this is why her friend going in on her

<v Speaker 1>and saying, well, Dolores, I thought you said you wanted

<v Speaker 1>a ring. I don't want to ring. I don't want

<v Speaker 1>to ring. It doesn't make it. I don't care. I

<v Speaker 1>don't need to live with him. I don't what. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>you are genuinely saying that out of protection. You mean

<v Speaker 1>to genuinely tell me that you went from wanting a

<v Speaker 1>marriage to all of a sudden you don't want to

<v Speaker 1>leave this person, but you want less of a commitment

<v Speaker 1>from this person. It's because you know for a fact

<v Speaker 1>that's the only thing you can get is what you

<v Speaker 1>currently have, and that's nothing. So I'm very happy to see,

<v Speaker 1>please to see that she is now engaged. I believe.

<v Speaker 1>So I'm very happy that she actually found, you know,

<v Speaker 1>the per person and her true love. I haven't gotten

<v Speaker 1>to the season yet where I even saw how that started,

<v Speaker 1>but I'm very happy for her because he was just ridiculous,

<v Speaker 1>and it's sad that as woman we tend to put

<v Speaker 1>up with a lot of things like that. I am

<v Speaker 1>of the belief again, when you don't value something, you

<v Speaker 1>lose it. I am of the belief that I'm not

<v Speaker 1>going to let someone mishandle me, mistreat me all these

<v Speaker 1>different things when you don't see my value when I'm

<v Speaker 1>walking through the door. I don't believe in he cheated

<v Speaker 1>on me, he do all this stuff. We have no

<v Speaker 1>kids yet, we're not even married, all these different things.

<v Speaker 1>I'm putting up with all of this and thinking it's

<v Speaker 1>going to radically check. Now we're done. It's already checkered,

<v Speaker 1>it's already stained. Let's just cut our losses and let's

<v Speaker 1>just move on. Okay. When you do not believe that

<v Speaker 1>you are the prize, you will always tolerate behavior that

<v Speaker 1>insults you. Right, and it's one thing to act like

<v Speaker 1>you are. Oh yeah, I would like I said, relationships

<v Speaker 1>will keep you honest. We will see how you're treated.

<v Speaker 1>We will see how you believe what you believe about

<v Speaker 1>yourself to be true. Because it is true. We accept

<v Speaker 1>the love that we think we deserve. So you will

<v Speaker 1>call the red flag's potential. You will call inconsistency. Oh well,

<v Speaker 1>he's just busy. He works a lot. He whatever, he

<v Speaker 1>works a lot. Was he not also in the beginning

<v Speaker 1>trying to see you like every day in one week

<v Speaker 1>at a time, and now with the same job, he's

<v Speaker 1>even busy. You will call disrespect miscommunication. Oh yeah, I know,

<v Speaker 1>you know. He saw me the other day in the

<v Speaker 1>parking lot and he just drove right past me. I

<v Speaker 1>really don't even think he saw me, to be honest,

<v Speaker 1>Like it's not that big of a deal. Like, no,

<v Speaker 1>he saw you. He didn't want to speak to you.

<v Speaker 1>So let that sink in. He does not like you.

<v Speaker 1>You are simply afraid to walk away because you don't

<v Speaker 1>trust that another opportunity will come. And that is not love.

<v Speaker 1>That is scarcity, and scarcity, my friend, is not from God.

<v Speaker 1>So when you have the main character energy, you have

<v Speaker 1>to understand that this requires detachment. You cannot have main

<v Speaker 1>character energy and be addicted to validation. There is this

<v Speaker 1>false sense of main character energy where you're manufacturing moments

<v Speaker 1>that are like all about you and trying to like

<v Speaker 1>fake the funk. When it comes to confidence and you're

<v Speaker 1>very loud with it, confidence is quiet boo. You don't

<v Speaker 1>need to be the loudest person in the room. You

<v Speaker 1>don't need to scream your accolade it's from you know,

<v Speaker 1>across the room. You don't need to introduce yourself to

<v Speaker 1>every single person. Yes, hello, I am an influencer for

<v Speaker 1>the past seven years. I've done this, I've done that enough.

<v Speaker 1>Let your work speak for itself. Whoever's gonna vibe with you,

<v Speaker 1>let them vibe with you, and then these same people

<v Speaker 1>will walk around talking about who's using them and all

<v Speaker 1>these different things. Stop leading with it, Stop leading with it.

<v Speaker 1>Then try that. They're addicted to the validation of what

<v Speaker 1>they I've done this, I'm very successful, I would ever,

<v Speaker 1>And let me tell you this, men do not care

<v Speaker 1>about that. That's why billionaires will literally go and marry

<v Speaker 1>the hostess girl because what's it to them? What is

<v Speaker 1>it to him? You cannot have main character energy and

<v Speaker 1>check who viewed your story every hour? Hello? Like? You

<v Speaker 1>just can't. Yes, okay, check it, whatever the case is,

<v Speaker 1>but you're checking it every app like, is everything? Okay? Who?

<v Speaker 1>All right, let's let's let the cat out the bag.

<v Speaker 1>Who are you looking for? Tell me who are you

<v Speaker 1>looking for? That's looking You want to make sure he

<v Speaker 1>checked your story? Is that what's going on here? Because

<v Speaker 1>there's only one logical explanation here. You're clearly looking for

<v Speaker 1>someone to be checking someone in particular, right, let it be.

<v Speaker 1>You can't have me in character energy and need constant

<v Speaker 1>reassurance that you're desired. Do you think I look skinny today?

<v Speaker 1>Do you like my dress? Oh? My gosh, look at me, guys,

<v Speaker 1>I look so, and this is actually even more annoying.

<v Speaker 1>I would say in friendships, if I'm gonna be honest,

<v Speaker 1>where it's like someone is fishing for compliments. I was

<v Speaker 1>once friends with someone that fished for compliments. It I

<v Speaker 1>had to leave that friendship. It started to make me

<v Speaker 1>feel like my compliments were performative. And that's when I knew, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>this is misaligned, because I can't be in a friendship

<v Speaker 1>where you're constantly fishing for compliments. Oh well, I mean, hello,

<v Speaker 1>look at me, Like, don't I look so good? What? Like?

<v Speaker 1>Let people just say how they truly feel about. It's

<v Speaker 1>like weird that you want me to just blow smoke

<v Speaker 1>up you every single time you feel like you're oh

<v Speaker 1>my gosh, look at what I've done. Oh my gosh,

<v Speaker 1>Look many views I got. Oh my gosh, look look

<v Speaker 1>at my outfit. Oh my gosh, look who emailed me?

<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, look who liked my story? Like that's exhausting.

<v Speaker 1>You know what it's giving. It's giving childhood issues, all right,

<v Speaker 1>childhood wounds all right. And there is no okay like

<v Speaker 1>the you can't diggle well deep enough to fill for

<v Speaker 1>people that have these issues. And I'm not saying that

<v Speaker 1>as a as a throwdown, But unfortunately it's true and

<v Speaker 1>it needs actual therapy because your friends cannot be the

<v Speaker 1>sounding board for this stuff anymore, because it's a never

<v Speaker 1>ending pit to try and fulfill what you never got

<v Speaker 1>and received growing up. Okay, then desire does not mean devotion.

<v Speaker 1>So if a man is showcasing he desires you, he's

<v Speaker 1>commenting on your your whatever, on your sending you emojis

<v Speaker 1>and your dms and all these different things, that does

<v Speaker 1>not mean that he's devoted to you. All right. Attention

<v Speaker 1>does not mean investment. He's texting you every now and again, Hey,

<v Speaker 1>how's your day? Three hours later he responds to what

<v Speaker 1>you said, Oh you looked great today on Instagram. Here

<v Speaker 1>you go calling up your friends. Oh my gosh. Like,

<v Speaker 1>I feel like he's just scared to talk to me

<v Speaker 1>because he said that he liked my dress and I

<v Speaker 1>could tell, Like, I think I'm just intimidating for him

<v Speaker 1>because he obviously knows what I have, and so he

<v Speaker 1>knows that I'm a girl that has her life together,

<v Speaker 1>Like he knows my presence on the internet, and so

<v Speaker 1>he's just scared to talk to me. Hello, guys, I

<v Speaker 1>literally post about relationships. Relationships and people are my ministry.

<v Speaker 1>It is my god given talent to discern people and

<v Speaker 1>understand relationships. It's a part of me. It's intrinsic, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>And one thing I can tell all right is obviously

<v Speaker 1>when someone's over selling, right, So you will create a

<v Speaker 1>whole storyline around one little interaction. You have created a

<v Speaker 1>whole storyline behind this one little interaction with the guy.

<v Speaker 1>And let me tell you this on behalf of your friends.

<v Speaker 1>They're sick of you. They don't want to hear it anymore.

<v Speaker 1>They don't have the heart to tell you how ridiculous

<v Speaker 1>you sound. But I'm here to let you know it's

<v Speaker 1>annoying and it's weird. Every little thing you're facetiming. Your

<v Speaker 1>friend's over Oh my gosh, he literally just swiped up

<v Speaker 1>on my story and he started to type and then

<v Speaker 1>he stopped. What do you think that means? Like? I

<v Speaker 1>feel do you think I should text him? Because obviously

<v Speaker 1>he wants to talk to me? And I feel like

<v Speaker 1>he probably thinks I'm busy because he knows that normally

<v Speaker 1>around this time, I tend to go live and think

<v Speaker 1>like I've had enough, They've had enough. All right. Chemistry

<v Speaker 1>also is not a representation of character. It's not. You

<v Speaker 1>will have chemistry with a lot of people in your life,

<v Speaker 1>and that's a lesson that a lot of younger girls

<v Speaker 1>need to learn. You will have a connection, that fiery connection.

<v Speaker 1>You will have that with a lot of people, babe.

<v Speaker 1>And that does not mean alignment. That does not mean

<v Speaker 1>he wants the same things as you. It doesn't matter

<v Speaker 1>how much you feel that lust and that you know chemistry,

<v Speaker 1>that is not a sign that you were meant to

<v Speaker 1>be with someone. Oh well, he knows my body. That

<v Speaker 1>is not a sign that you're meant to be with someone.

<v Speaker 1>Loyalty is not something that you can convince a man into.

<v Speaker 1>It is a character trait. Like I said, he either processes,

<v Speaker 1>but he either possesses that or he doesn't. It's a

<v Speaker 1>character trait. He either possesses it or he does not.

<v Speaker 1>So stop trying to train grown men, all right, because

<v Speaker 1>you're not a rehabilitation center. You know you have to

<v Speaker 1>be okay with that. Now, let's balance this main character.

<v Speaker 1>Energy does not mean entitlement because some of you really

<v Speaker 1>mix it up and you think that bragging about every

<v Speaker 1>single thing you've ever done means Oh yeah, I'm the

<v Speaker 1>main character. That's not main character energy. Boo. It doesn't

<v Speaker 1>mean uh, you know, I deserve a high value man

<v Speaker 1>because I simply exist like, No, that's a little misguided.

<v Speaker 1>It means I am committed to becoming the woman who

<v Speaker 1>matches the life that I want. You want a guy

<v Speaker 1>to do all these things for you, to provide for you,

<v Speaker 1>to protect you, to nurture you, to honor you, but

<v Speaker 1>you're not even doing that for you in your own life.

<v Speaker 1>There's a difference. You cannot demand discipline from a man

<v Speaker 1>if you're chaotic. Hmm. Interesting. You can't demand provision if

<v Speaker 1>you were irresponsible steward what you have and that has

<v Speaker 1>been very much been put on my heart, you know,

<v Speaker 1>from from from the Holy Spirit. You cannot demand leadership

<v Speaker 1>if you resist accountability. Please hello, hello, knock knock, who's there?

<v Speaker 1>If you are if you were resisting accountability for your

<v Speaker 1>short uh, for your shortcomings? Yeah, how are you going

<v Speaker 1>to demand leadership a man to to to lead you?

<v Speaker 1>Main character Energy is attractive because it's stable, right. Stable

<v Speaker 1>women are rare, Yeah, because there are a lot of

<v Speaker 1>frauds out there. Self controlled women are rare. You have

<v Speaker 1>to you have to practice restraint, babe, you do or

<v Speaker 1>you're going to keep getting the same outcome. Spirit Led

<v Speaker 1>woman are rare, okay, and I'm talking about Jesus Christ.

<v Speaker 1>Spirit led woman. They are rare. So guess what be rare? Right?

<v Speaker 1>So here's the spiritual part. Some of you, unfortunately, have

<v Speaker 1>made idols out of relationships. You don't want main character energy.

<v Speaker 1>You want romantic rescue. Please understand that you are your

<v Speaker 1>own rescue, aside from our Lord and David, Jesus Christ,

<v Speaker 1>Hello Jesus. But God is not writing your life around

<v Speaker 1>a man, my man, my man, my man, my man,

<v Speaker 1>my baby. No, he's not doing that. He's writing your

<v Speaker 1>life around purpose. Remember story in the Bible about Esther.

<v Speaker 1>So she didn't enter into the palace insecure. She was prepared,

<v Speaker 1>She fasted, she moved with strategy, and when it was

<v Speaker 1>time to speak, she did. Perhaps this is where that

<v Speaker 1>quote comes from. If you guys have ever heard it,

<v Speaker 1>perhaps you were here for such a time as this

<v Speaker 1>something of that nature. I'm paraphrasing, but I love that

<v Speaker 1>saying because it just carries so much weight of like

<v Speaker 1>you showing up and the call is on you. You are

<v Speaker 1>the generational curse breaker. You are the chain breaker in

<v Speaker 1>your family. Perhaps you were created for such a time

<v Speaker 1>as this. Let that marinate. Main character energy is not loud,

<v Speaker 1>it's obedient, right. So if God is saying you know,

<v Speaker 1>if you're saying God, if you called me to it,

<v Speaker 1>I will walk like it right, even if I'm single,

<v Speaker 1>even if I'm rebuilding, even if I'm misunderstood, even if

<v Speaker 1>I have to walk alone through this season. But I

<v Speaker 1>trust you more than I trust attention. So stop performing,

<v Speaker 1>right and don't don't you know beg to be in

<v Speaker 1>anyone's life. You were not a background character, all right

<v Speaker 1>in someone else's love story. You are not an extra

<v Speaker 1>in a man's ego development journey. You were not an

<v Speaker 1>emotional getaway car. You're not a placeholder. You are the storyline. Okay, period,

<v Speaker 1>And the moment that you start acting like it, watch

<v Speaker 1>how the casting changes. Okay, I'll see you next week

<v Speaker 1>on Quality Clean Control. Make sure that you hype this

<v Speaker 1>video up. Guys, make sure that you give this video

<v Speaker 1>eight thumbs up. Make sure that you rate the podcast

<v Speaker 1>five stars if you are listening. And with that being said,

<v Speaker 1>do not forget that I love you and God loves you.

<v Speaker 1>Ask me T beutiful angels in my next video. Mm

<v Speaker 1>hm