<v Speaker 1>You're now fantasizing and romanticizing. Oh my gosh, like we're

<v Speaker 1>on the same page. I know that he wants this

<v Speaker 1>with me. No, he doesn't want this with you. He

<v Speaker 1>said he wants this in general. Okay, a man that

<v Speaker 1>truly wants to be with you, trust me, he's gonna

<v Speaker 1>want you off the market. Nothing will be vague. Hey, babe,

<v Speaker 1>it's Asia Christina.

<v Speaker 2>This his quality, clean control. What is happening? Hello, angels?

<v Speaker 1>How is everybody feeling? I just want to say, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>God is so good, all right, praise him because I

<v Speaker 1>genuinely feel like, girl, we are so back. We are

<v Speaker 1>back in the algorithms, ladies, algorithm. We are back in

<v Speaker 1>the algorithm. It feels amazing. I didn't even realize I

<v Speaker 1>had a video of mine that clearly has has been

<v Speaker 1>doing numbers your dating patterns video. You guys loved that content,

<v Speaker 1>and this makes me feel very good. It's very aligned

<v Speaker 1>that you guys really really enjoyed the video. The watch

<v Speaker 1>time is doing exceptionally well, and the feedback has been great.

<v Speaker 1>The engagement has been up, like we have been doing

<v Speaker 1>very well. And then I think the video behind that

<v Speaker 1>one was talking about how to know when a guy is.

<v Speaker 2>Jealous of you.

<v Speaker 1>So I have some very good topics that we will

<v Speaker 1>obviously continue to talk about. But thank you to all

<v Speaker 1>of my new listeners, all of my new subscribers. You

<v Speaker 1>guys don't understand how much it means to me, Like

<v Speaker 1>I genuinely have been on YouTube since twenty eighteen, grew

<v Speaker 1>fairly fast, and a lot of stuff and transition and

<v Speaker 1>all the things have happened, and it just feels very

<v Speaker 1>good to just simply be able to move forward. That's

<v Speaker 1>all I can say about that. And it just feels

<v Speaker 1>so encouraging to see that the content that I'm putting

<v Speaker 1>out is not only resonating with you guys and making impact,

<v Speaker 1>but I'm just it's I'm seeing in real time my

<v Speaker 1>team and I is hard work, like be rewarded by

<v Speaker 1>the response and the feedback at Thank you, seriously, from

<v Speaker 1>the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul.

<v Speaker 1>Thank you to every single comment, every single like, every

<v Speaker 1>single repost, every single share, every single save. Thank you

<v Speaker 1>so much, Like you don't understand, it goes a long way.

<v Speaker 1>And speaking of before we even get into this, stoping

<v Speaker 1>girl free and I want you to hype this video

<v Speaker 1>up if you have it as an option, or of course,

<v Speaker 1>just give the video a thumbs up, but hype the

<v Speaker 1>hype option.

<v Speaker 2>Some people have it. I don't know. Some people don't.

<v Speaker 2>Let me know if you're able to see it or not.

<v Speaker 2>But Gara, let's.

<v Speaker 1>Get into a seat, seed seed seed see. Okay, today

<v Speaker 1>we're gonna be talking about if you wanted to, he

<v Speaker 1>would be cause hello, Okay, I've been talking about this

<v Speaker 1>subject from like way back when, but we need a

<v Speaker 1>little bit of a refresher. Okay, because the dating game

<v Speaker 1>it's still very prevalent. Okay, things are still happening and

<v Speaker 1>running rampant. Okay, Like I said, let's be very honest here,

<v Speaker 1>if he wanted to, he would, all right, And this

<v Speaker 1>triggers people because it removes all the excuses, Yes, Mamasita,

<v Speaker 1>It removes the fantasy. It's going to remove the potential,

<v Speaker 1>all right, it's going to remove the oh, but he's busy,

<v Speaker 1>it's going to remove.

<v Speaker 2>Oh, you know what, he's just not good at texting.

<v Speaker 1>I cannot tell you how many times I've seen, even recently,

<v Speaker 1>where girls are making excuses for men because they desperately

<v Speaker 1>want to be with them so bad and they're like, oh, well,

<v Speaker 1>you know, he's just not really like a texter. He's

<v Speaker 1>just more of like an in person type of person.

<v Speaker 1>Oh that's interesting because he's breadcrumbing you on Instagram and

<v Speaker 1>he has no problem responding to your photos on Instagram

<v Speaker 1>and all these different things. But he's a bad texter,

<v Speaker 1>but he's chronically online. I've had enough. Okay, if he

<v Speaker 1>wanted to, he would boo. End of story. So today

<v Speaker 1>we're going to talk about what that phrase actually means,

<v Speaker 1>why we as women tend to resist it, and the

<v Speaker 1>psychology of future faking hello, and why loyalty is not

<v Speaker 1>a promise it's actually a character trait. So stay with me,

<v Speaker 1>because most women are not heartbroken over men. They are

<v Speaker 1>heartbroken over the potential. All right, so what does if

<v Speaker 1>he wanted to, he would actually mean, Well this, I mean,

<v Speaker 1>it's not really about perfection, right, It's about priority. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>So when a man values something, he's going to organize

<v Speaker 1>around it.

<v Speaker 2>He's going to plan around it.

<v Speaker 1>Some of you are so your standards are so low,

<v Speaker 1>and I'm sorry about that, but actually i'm not. Some

<v Speaker 1>of you guys standards are just so low, and I

<v Speaker 1>don't even know what to say about it anymore. And

<v Speaker 1>it's really starting to irritate me and my homegirls because

<v Speaker 1>at the end of the day, you guys are constantly

<v Speaker 1>making up excuses to make yourself feel better, and the

<v Speaker 1>bar is getting so low.

<v Speaker 2>You're making it harder for everybody else, are you guys? Okay?

<v Speaker 1>Are you well? Clearly you're not. You're making it harder

<v Speaker 1>for everybody else. Every time we have a whack a

<v Speaker 1>do that's giving allowing a man to give her a

<v Speaker 1>nothing burger, a nothing sandwich. This is what happens in

<v Speaker 1>our dating climate. It gets worse and worse and worse

<v Speaker 1>and worse. All right, So you're making excuses, Oh well,

<v Speaker 1>just letting you know I'm going away in a week.

<v Speaker 1>You're telling this man you're going away in a week, right,

<v Speaker 1>This man says, oh, okay, cool, see you when you

<v Speaker 1>get back. You're going, well, I have to be at

<v Speaker 1>the airport at six thirty pm. I just want to

<v Speaker 1>let you know if you had anything on your mind

<v Speaker 1>that you wanted to do, maybe on a Thursday night

<v Speaker 1>because I leave on Friday.

<v Speaker 2>If you had anything you want to do, I'm totally available.

<v Speaker 1>Between the hours of twelve to nine pm are you

<v Speaker 1>like you. You know what, some of you guys really

<v Speaker 1>sicken me, and I have to say it. You really

<v Speaker 1>are trying to upset me. I'm gonna knock you upside

<v Speaker 1>in the head. Violence may not always be the answer,

<v Speaker 1>but in this context, baby, it is. You need a

<v Speaker 1>little smack a doo because this is not making sense.

<v Speaker 1>You mean to tell me, it's making you feel a

<v Speaker 1>little bit better that you are being highly suggestive.

<v Speaker 2>You really thought you ate with that? Right?

<v Speaker 1>Oh? Well, you know, just setting you know, I'm free

<v Speaker 1>from the on Thursday if you wanted to do anything,

<v Speaker 1>because you know, like I said, I am gonna be

<v Speaker 1>gone for a week. He understands that he knows you're

<v Speaker 1>gonna be gone for a week. You already said you're

<v Speaker 1>gonna go on vacation.

<v Speaker 2>Right.

<v Speaker 1>It is up to him to then proceed and decide

<v Speaker 1>whether or not he wants to see you before you

<v Speaker 1>go on vacation. But your ego can't take it, right, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>So this is why we fall into passive reciprocation. And

<v Speaker 1>then you can't even tell what he would and wouldn't do.

<v Speaker 1>I digress. Men do what they want to do. They

<v Speaker 1>do what they want to do. If he can wake

<v Speaker 1>up five am for a flight, If he can drive

<v Speaker 1>forty five minutes for basketball, all right.

<v Speaker 2>If he can stay up.

<v Speaker 1>Late playing a video game, what the heck, Kiana but ogate?

<v Speaker 1>If he could play video games and he's up here

<v Speaker 1>playing Call of Duty and roll blocks, he can absolutely

<v Speaker 1>organize what he's going to do for you. I don't

<v Speaker 1>think you, ladies, understand some of you, not all of you,

<v Speaker 1>that when it comes to men, they're actually very good

<v Speaker 1>at planning things. They're not as bad as we tend

<v Speaker 1>to make it seem, all right. They know how to

<v Speaker 1>appeal to a woman, a man that really likes a woman.

<v Speaker 1>Oh gosh, it will jar some of you, okay, and

<v Speaker 1>understandably so. But we're just so used to the standards

<v Speaker 1>being so low that we don't realize that a lot

<v Speaker 1>of these things are normal. I had a girl one

<v Speaker 1>time tell me, oh my gosh, I just love that

<v Speaker 1>he like, you know, he texted me and he told

<v Speaker 1>me what time to get ready.

<v Speaker 2>I said, babe, this is like normal behavior? Is everything? Okay?

<v Speaker 2>All right?

<v Speaker 1>So he can call you, he can plan a date,

<v Speaker 1>he can clarify his intentions. Hello, he does not need

<v Speaker 1>you to prompt him into every little thing, all right,

<v Speaker 1>he does not if you have to be so highly

<v Speaker 1>suggestive with every little.

<v Speaker 2>Thing all the time.

<v Speaker 1>The second you stop watering the situation and you try

<v Speaker 1>to relax, you won't be able to because you've been

<v Speaker 1>spear head this entire operation. The issue is rarely ever ability.

<v Speaker 1>It is actually willingness. And I know that sucks to

<v Speaker 1>hear that. Maybe you're just not that important to him,

<v Speaker 1>meaning intrinsically. That does not mean that you are not

<v Speaker 1>a valuable woman. That does not mean that you are worthless. However,

<v Speaker 1>when you respond in ways that or you're trying to

<v Speaker 1>like meet him in the mail, then yeah, you start

<v Speaker 1>to lower your value. Okay, you have to be okay

<v Speaker 1>with all right, I'm not going to sit here and

<v Speaker 1>hold your hand and teach you how to date me.

<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to sit here and do that. Once

<v Speaker 1>you open up a dynamic like that, you'll never stop,

<v Speaker 1>all right. So it is about willingness and woman. They

<v Speaker 1>get in trouble, all right. We get in trouble now

<v Speaker 1>when we start interpretating inconsistency as confusion. Please hear me

<v Speaker 1>when I say this, stop interpreting inconsistency for confusion, oh,

<v Speaker 1>I just feel like, you know, he hit me up

<v Speaker 1>like two days in a row, and he seemed really

<v Speaker 1>anxious to see me, and then the next thing, you know,

<v Speaker 1>I haven't heard from him in a week. Well, the

<v Speaker 1>data shows that he's not interested. How do you know

<v Speaker 1>when you were on the mind of a man, he's

<v Speaker 1>going to hit you up. He doesn't need you to

<v Speaker 1>prompt him, to message him, to suggest to do this,

<v Speaker 1>to do that. They will incorporate you into every aspect

<v Speaker 1>of their life. He you know, this guy, he's not confused.

<v Speaker 1>He's he's you know, not thinking of you, all right, Like,

<v Speaker 1>let's just have a little bit of harsh reality check here.

<v Speaker 1>He's just simply not thinking of you. And it's not

<v Speaker 1>enough for a man to like you, all right. His

<v Speaker 1>actions need to show you everything. So why do we

<v Speaker 1>as women tend to resist the phrase if he wanted to,

<v Speaker 1>he would, You know, I don't want to hear anyone

<v Speaker 1>in the comments that's not true.

<v Speaker 2>I had to.

<v Speaker 1>I don't care because you know, you know what, the

<v Speaker 1>exception never makes the rule, all right, Accepting the phrase

<v Speaker 1>if he wanted to he would makes hearing this and

<v Speaker 1>accepting this a reality because now this means he doesn't

<v Speaker 1>want you the way that you want him, all.

<v Speaker 2>Right, Like, what is that girl's name, Mikayla.

<v Speaker 1>You know, I want to stat this video by saying,

<v Speaker 1>take a seat, take it in. Yeah, take a seat,

<v Speaker 1>take it in. He's just not that into you. All right,

<v Speaker 1>let's stat there, all right, start right there. So also,

<v Speaker 1>he likes the access to you more than the responsibility

<v Speaker 1>of being with you. Okay, what does this mean? Well,

<v Speaker 1>he likes to breadcrumb you. He likes to access you

<v Speaker 1>by viewing your stories. He likes to access you by

<v Speaker 1>popping in popping out at his own leisure. But he

<v Speaker 1>does not want the responsibility of trying to court you,

<v Speaker 1>of trying to actually date you, of trying to actually

<v Speaker 1>have something meaningful and nurture a connection with you. You

<v Speaker 1>guys pulled men out of these phases prematurely, and that's

<v Speaker 1>why the results end up the way that they do,

<v Speaker 1>and then you end up feeling like you don't know

<v Speaker 1>what happened and all these differ and things. Babe, the

<v Speaker 1>signs are always there. It's never usually that much of

<v Speaker 1>a blindsiding situation. I don't really believe that much in

<v Speaker 1>blindsiding situations, there are always little signs are you paying

<v Speaker 1>attention or it could mean that, hey, he does enjoy you,

<v Speaker 1>but he just simply doesn't value you.

<v Speaker 2>And that's okay.

<v Speaker 1>Not everybody likes nice things and as adults, two things

<v Speaker 1>can be true at once. And at the end of

<v Speaker 1>the day, Yes, someone can actually like you, but it

<v Speaker 1>doesn't mean that they want to actually be with you.

<v Speaker 1>Do you want to be with every single man that

<v Speaker 1>you like? Maybe that's your problem, okay, and maybe that's

<v Speaker 1>why you perceive it in that way, But that's not

<v Speaker 1>always the case. Just like how every good guy may

<v Speaker 1>not be your guy, you know, like every person you're

<v Speaker 1>with doesn't have to be the person, but you still

<v Speaker 1>had a connection with that individual, and I understand that

<v Speaker 1>that hurts. So instead of accepting their behavior as it is,

<v Speaker 1>you're going to start analyzing the potential.

<v Speaker 2>This is always what we tend to do.

<v Speaker 1>Well. He did say that he sees a future with me,

<v Speaker 1>you know. He says that he does want marriage one day,

<v Speaker 1>all right, and guess what, he can very well want

<v Speaker 1>all these things, but baby, it's just not with you.

<v Speaker 2>Let that sink in, you know.

<v Speaker 1>Oh, he said, he's just healing because you know, his

<v Speaker 1>ex was crazy, and like, I don't even understand how

<v Speaker 1>anyone could ever hurt something like him. Okay, when you

<v Speaker 1>whenever you find yourself already defending a man, all right,

<v Speaker 1>I'm on the side of justice, right. I'm not saying

<v Speaker 1>that all women are right all the time or vice versa.

<v Speaker 1>But when you find yourself defending somebody and it's so

<v Speaker 1>obvious that you're only defending them, going only knowing one

<v Speaker 1>side of the story because you clearly think he's a victim.

<v Speaker 1>I just don't understand how his ex could do this

<v Speaker 1>to him. You really believe what that man is saying,

<v Speaker 1>You really do? Huh yeah, Okay, then you deserve what's

<v Speaker 1>coming your way, all right, Like he oh, he's just healing.

<v Speaker 1>And I understand when he grew up, you know, you know,

<v Speaker 1>you know, his girlfriend broke up with him when he

<v Speaker 1>was five, and now I understand this has caused a

<v Speaker 1>lot of issues for him because you know, then she

<v Speaker 1>started talking to his best friend in kindergarten.

<v Speaker 2>I don't care.

<v Speaker 1>I do not care, all right, because you will now

<v Speaker 1>perpetually create excuses for why he's not rising to the occasion,

<v Speaker 1>all right, because he said he wants a future you're

<v Speaker 1>sticking around because he says he wants marriage, you're sticking around.

<v Speaker 1>None of these things mean that he wants them with you.

<v Speaker 2>Wake up? Hello.

<v Speaker 1>So this brings us into something called future faking.

<v Speaker 2>All right.

<v Speaker 1>So future faking is when someone mainly men, hello, are

<v Speaker 1>gonna paint a vivid picture of a future with you

<v Speaker 1>because they want to secure the emotional access in the present.

<v Speaker 1>If you hold this person, you know, you can hold

<v Speaker 1>someone's place like you're a placeholder, essentially by trying to say,

<v Speaker 1>oh yeah, you know, like you know, you would be

<v Speaker 1>such a good mother. You know I men do this

<v Speaker 1>all the time, like are we gonna wake up or not?

<v Speaker 2>Like I just what is happening? Oh?

<v Speaker 1>You know I can see us moving in together. Oh

<v Speaker 1>you know what you're you're definitely it's the kind of

<v Speaker 1>woman that I would marry. Or you know what when

<v Speaker 1>we travel next year, ooh, like you know I could

<v Speaker 1>really you know, I could just see you in an

<v Speaker 1>Emilio Pucci bathing suit. You know, I could really see

<v Speaker 1>you in a Cordova uh uh ski set on our

<v Speaker 1>way to Aspin. I've had enough, right because notice one thing,

<v Speaker 1>there's no action attached. I do not care if this

<v Speaker 1>man said he's uh, he's gonna do something in thirty seconds, babe,

<v Speaker 1>make sure that that thing is done and check in

<v Speaker 1>with me after the thirty seconds has passed.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, I do not care.

<v Speaker 1>Action, action, action only and always, because if we pay attention,

<v Speaker 1>men don't actually listen to the things that we say.

<v Speaker 2>They listen to the things that we do. They watch

<v Speaker 2>the things that we do.

<v Speaker 1>That's why when you tell a man they're not like,

<v Speaker 1>they've never.

<v Speaker 2>Done this way.

<v Speaker 1>As you're taking off your clothes, they do not believe

<v Speaker 1>you because all they care about in that moment is yeah,

<v Speaker 1>I no, No, that's great, that's great. And then after

<v Speaker 1>they're going to think, well if I did that, how

<v Speaker 1>many other people have done that?

<v Speaker 2>And all of a sudden, you just lose your value.

<v Speaker 1>Right, there's never any action that is attached to these things.

<v Speaker 1>You would be a good mother. Great, doesn't mean I'm

<v Speaker 1>going to be your your mother, your baby mother. All right,

<v Speaker 1>I can see us moving in together, Great, it's not happening.

<v Speaker 1>All right, you're the kind of woman I would marry.

<v Speaker 1>Real men that are that are intentional about things like

<v Speaker 1>this are not just going to be throwing these terms

<v Speaker 1>around willy nilly, and even if they are still don't

<v Speaker 1>believe them.

<v Speaker 2>Don't believe until you see the thing on.

<v Speaker 1>Don't believe anything until you see it come into fuition.

<v Speaker 1>I do not care what that man is saying. All right,

<v Speaker 1>there's no planning, there's no progression, there's no integration of

<v Speaker 1>you actually into his real life. So psychologically, what future

<v Speaker 1>faking does, and the reason why it works is because

<v Speaker 1>it's going to activate that dopamine, right, that anticipation reward

<v Speaker 1>of Oh my gosh, Like now I know he's marriage minded.

<v Speaker 1>I marriage minded. Oh, oh my gosh, he's a man

<v Speaker 1>of God. He has godfirst in his biome. Okay, right,

<v Speaker 1>then it's going to release that oxytocin, that bonding chemical, right,

<v Speaker 1>and then it's going to have released something which is

<v Speaker 1>basically called a fantasy attachment right where you're now fantasizing

<v Speaker 1>and romanticizing. Oh my gosh, Like we're on the same page.

<v Speaker 1>I know that he wants this with me. No, he

<v Speaker 1>doesn't want this with you, he said he wants this

<v Speaker 1>in general. Okay, a man that truly wants to be

<v Speaker 1>with you, trust me, he's gonna want you off the market.

<v Speaker 1>Nothing will be vague. Nothing about him intentionally dating you

<v Speaker 1>and pursuing you.

<v Speaker 2>Will be vague.

<v Speaker 1>If it's vague, it means he's not fully there, and

<v Speaker 1>it's not for you to wait around and for.

<v Speaker 2>Him to decide. Okay.

<v Speaker 1>Meanwhile, your body is responding to a future that doesn't

<v Speaker 1>even exist.

<v Speaker 2>All right.

<v Speaker 1>So meanwhile, in the present, he's inconsistent, he's unclear, he's unavailable.

<v Speaker 1>But the future faking now is allowing this manipulation to

<v Speaker 1>continue to happen because of your imagination. And oh man,

<v Speaker 1>you should write a children's book with that imagination of yours.

<v Speaker 1>I mean, some of you really are in the wrong

<v Speaker 1>line of work because you guys really know how to

<v Speaker 1>drive a story home, right, and you really live it.

<v Speaker 1>You really believe it too. It's really quite fascinating. Another

<v Speaker 1>thing we need to pay attention to is the fact

<v Speaker 1>that loyalty is a character trait. I actually learned this

<v Speaker 1>from my own relationship. I remember my boyfriend was telling me,

<v Speaker 1>He's like, listen, I would never do business with a

<v Speaker 1>man that cheats on their wife or anything, because how

<v Speaker 1>am I supposed to trust that person? If you're going

<v Speaker 1>to be the person closest to you, then why would

<v Speaker 1>that make you a great business person? For me? We

<v Speaker 1>tend to overlook these things because we don't think that

<v Speaker 1>they correlate, but they actually do, right, So this is

<v Speaker 1>where we tend to miss it. Loyalty is not something

<v Speaker 1>that a man is going to just develop because he

<v Speaker 1>loves you. Men are actually capable of this strange duality

<v Speaker 1>of actually loving somebody and still literally cheating on them

<v Speaker 1>and ripping people's hearts out of their chests.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right. Loyalty is who that man is.

<v Speaker 1>Loyalty is how he talks about people when they are

<v Speaker 1>not around. Loyalty is how he handles his commitments.

<v Speaker 2>All across the board.

<v Speaker 1>Loyalty is him keeping his promises in everything, the small things, even.

<v Speaker 1>Loyalty is how he shows up even when it's inconvenient.

<v Speaker 1>How you know, paying attention to those things. That is

<v Speaker 1>going to gauge whether or not a man is going

<v Speaker 1>to be loyalty you. Okay, Now, if this guy flakes

<v Speaker 1>on his friends, if he lies casually, if he avoids responsibility,

<v Speaker 1>if he quits when things get hard, how on earth

<v Speaker 1>do you expect that man to be loyal to you?

<v Speaker 2>Let me guess you're special.

<v Speaker 1>You're one of the kind you think that you're like

<v Speaker 1>the exceptions to the rule. That's that's where you miss it,

<v Speaker 1>because character does not activate at.

<v Speaker 2>The altar because you're getting married.

<v Speaker 1>Character does not activate because all of a sudden, you

<v Speaker 1>guys are officially together. Now, it's not going to activate.

<v Speaker 1>Then it is who he is on his own, and

<v Speaker 1>that bleeds into other areas of his life. Please remember

<v Speaker 1>me saying this to you, because I'm telling you it

<v Speaker 1>was very revelatory when I heard my boyfriend mentioned this

<v Speaker 1>to me, and he straight up told me like, yeah,

<v Speaker 1>I would never do business with somebody that cheats on

<v Speaker 1>their spouse or anything like that, because even men understand

<v Speaker 1>how you do anything is how you do everything. Okay, So,

<v Speaker 1>like I said, you are not the magical exception here, right,

<v Speaker 1>It's gonna reveal, you know, his character will be revealed

<v Speaker 1>under pressure. If you have a man that's every five

<v Speaker 1>seconds when things get tough, you want it, You want it,

<v Speaker 1>You call yourself wanting to get married. But look at

<v Speaker 1>how this man troubleshoots situations. Look at how he problem solves.

<v Speaker 1>He walks away, he ghosts you, he needs time to

<v Speaker 1>process things and just leaves the house Okay, what's that

<v Speaker 1>guy that was on that show Real Housewives or whatever?

<v Speaker 1>He was married to what's this girl's name? Real Housewives

<v Speaker 1>of Atlanta drew every time the going got tough with her. Now,

<v Speaker 1>I guess ex husband Ralph. Ralph would literally physically flee

<v Speaker 1>the state. The man would literally leave the state. Now,

<v Speaker 1>please tell me how that adds up. Please tell me

<v Speaker 1>how that makes sense for a husband to just get

<v Speaker 1>up and leave, even a boyfriend. You mean to tell

<v Speaker 1>me you're gonna get up and leave every single time?

<v Speaker 1>How is anything ever supposed to be resolved? Yes, certain

<v Speaker 1>people sometimes need a little bit of space before we reconvene.

<v Speaker 1>But if you're going to do respond in this unhealthy

<v Speaker 1>way every single time, and you especially if you're leaving

<v Speaker 1>the state police leave you know, you know, miss me

<v Speaker 1>with that one, how are we ever supposed to come

<v Speaker 1>to a resolve if there If every time you're getting

<v Speaker 1>upset about something, your man is also getting sassy with

<v Speaker 1>you as well. He's going toe to toe with you,

<v Speaker 1>he's trying to fight you. He's mad at you because

<v Speaker 1>you're mad at him, Like you're never gonna get anywhere,

<v Speaker 1>and you cannot make excuses built off of his childhood

<v Speaker 1>trauma and oh like you don't understand what he's going through. Okay, boo,

<v Speaker 1>make all these excuses for you, because then you're going

<v Speaker 1>to become the punching bag. Okay, that's exactly what's going

<v Speaker 1>to happen. And I'm actually talking figuratively here, but who knows, right,

<v Speaker 1>you will end up being the person that he will

<v Speaker 1>now used all these excuses on as a result, because

<v Speaker 1>some of you are so short sighted, all you care

<v Speaker 1>about is getting the guy, not realizing once you have

<v Speaker 1>the guy, all those issues, all right, they don't just

<v Speaker 1>he doesn't get absolved of all of those issues. They

<v Speaker 1>now are present in your dynamic and now you have

<v Speaker 1>to deal with them.

<v Speaker 2>Was it worth it? Okay?

<v Speaker 1>A disorganized man will always disorganize your piece, all right.

<v Speaker 1>An inconsistent man will destabilize.

<v Speaker 2>Your entire nervous system.

<v Speaker 1>Men and women, everyone, we have that masculine and feminine

<v Speaker 1>energy that we all have inside of us, and men

<v Speaker 1>have a very strong presence. Okay, they have the ability

<v Speaker 1>to completely destabilize your entire life. They do wrong. Man

<v Speaker 1>will always give you the wrong plan. A selfish man

<v Speaker 1>will absolutely eventually exhaust you to no end too, all right,

<v Speaker 1>So dating is not solely about chemistry. It's about patterns.

<v Speaker 1>That's what it is, and that's what some of you

<v Speaker 1>need to wake up and realize. I tell my friends

<v Speaker 1>all the time. I tell you guys this all the time.

<v Speaker 1>If you are going to get serious about a relationship,

<v Speaker 1>you are going to have to say no to ninety

<v Speaker 1>nine percent of the things that you used to say

<v Speaker 1>yes to, the ninety nine percent of the things that

<v Speaker 1>you used to actually tolerate, You're going to have to

<v Speaker 1>say no.

<v Speaker 2>And it's very difficult.

<v Speaker 1>It is not easy to realize, oh my gosh, like

<v Speaker 1>something that I would have overlooked, like I got this

<v Speaker 1>deep into a relationship with somebody, and now I'm realizing like,

<v Speaker 1>oh gosh, like this is this is genuinely not going

<v Speaker 1>to work for me, Like it's I'm done, and now

<v Speaker 1>you have to think about, oh my gosh, do I

<v Speaker 1>have to now have to start over. It's already been

<v Speaker 1>two years since I've already saw someone, and now I

<v Speaker 1>got Yes, you do, because that's small what you want.

<v Speaker 1>It is a small pool of people, right. You don't

<v Speaker 1>want the low hanging fruit. And just because you are

<v Speaker 1>okay with wiping those issues under the rug right now,

<v Speaker 1>you will pay the price in the end anyway. All right,

<v Speaker 1>So this is the hard pill we need to swallow.

<v Speaker 1>If you wanted to, he would. I'm not shaming men, right,

<v Speaker 1>but it's about freeing woman. That's what it's about. You

<v Speaker 1>don't have to beg you don't have to convince, you

<v Speaker 1>don't have to audition. When a man wants you, he's

<v Speaker 1>going to be very clear. He's going to come with clarity.

<v Speaker 1>He's going to protect his access to you. He's going

<v Speaker 1>to make it known. Like I said, he wants you

<v Speaker 1>off the market if he's okay with knowing other men

<v Speaker 1>will have access to you. Trust me, it's not that serious.

<v Speaker 1>It's not that deep for him. He's also going to

<v Speaker 1>integrate you into his real life. I was making a

<v Speaker 1>joke with one of my friends yesterday and I was like,

<v Speaker 1>it's so ridiculous to me. How when a man doesn't

<v Speaker 1>want you around, Oh, he will come up with any excuse.

<v Speaker 1>I gave her this example where I was saying, a

<v Speaker 1>man will literally have you leave his house talking about,

<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, babe, I need to see you next week.

<v Speaker 1>I have to go get gas real quick. I'm sorry,

<v Speaker 1>what the heck. Are you okay? Like you can't. You're

<v Speaker 1>incapable of doing the most mundane tasks around me. Oh babe,

<v Speaker 1>you know, I actually I have to see you. Uh,

<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna be unavailable for a couple weeks. I gotta

<v Speaker 1>go grab something to eat. Are you good? Are you good?

<v Speaker 1>And I'm telling you pay attention to these things where

<v Speaker 1>it's like all of every little thing he's incapable of

<v Speaker 1>doing around you. Oh you know, I gotta stop at

<v Speaker 1>my mom's house. I gotta go drop off my socks

<v Speaker 1>so she can go wash them. She just gets them

<v Speaker 1>extra white for me. Okay, so I can't be in

<v Speaker 1>the car. The second you find yourself in situations like that,

<v Speaker 1>where all of a sudden, it's an inconvenience for him

<v Speaker 1>to do anything around you, like your existence is inconveniencing

<v Speaker 1>for him. Read the writing on the wall. That means

<v Speaker 1>he doesn't want you around. But a man that does

<v Speaker 1>want you around, Oh, he's gonna incorporate you into everything.

<v Speaker 2>Oh babe, I hope you don't mind.

<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna stop by my mom's house really quickly to

<v Speaker 1>drop something off. You're in the car, Oh babe, you

<v Speaker 1>know I'm just gonna go grab you know, get gas

<v Speaker 1>real quick.

<v Speaker 2>He don't mind you being in the car.

<v Speaker 1>Oh babe, I'm gonna, you know, stop by my my

<v Speaker 1>buddy's house just to say hi for a couple of minutes.

<v Speaker 2>I actually, I'd love to introduce you.

<v Speaker 1>Every little thing he's going to incorporate you because he's

<v Speaker 1>trying to see he sees a future with you, and

<v Speaker 1>the actions show that. Not the words. Believe nothing that

<v Speaker 1>a man says. Look at his actions. Only believe nothing

<v Speaker 1>until you see the evidence of it. Please believe me

<v Speaker 1>when I tell you this is why we get so

<v Speaker 1>caught up and feeling like we're so confused because what

<v Speaker 1>he said doesn't align with what he's doing. And I

<v Speaker 1>thought we were on the same page because he said

<v Speaker 1>he wanted marriage and anything right, But he hasn't. None

<v Speaker 1>of his actions have aligned with him leading you, with

<v Speaker 1>him being a man of God, Hello God first in

<v Speaker 1>the bio. It hasn't aligned with him consistently courting you,

<v Speaker 1>saying that he's looking for marriage. Yet he's going out

<v Speaker 1>every weekend with his boys and knocking back you know,

<v Speaker 1>twelve coronas.

<v Speaker 2>Are you okay? But he but he wants a serious relationship.

<v Speaker 1>If you want a serious relationship, we're gonna see the

<v Speaker 1>evidence of that in other areas of your life. What

<v Speaker 1>are you celebrating, huh, your lack of seriousness. What are

<v Speaker 1>you celebrating out there every weekend? I've had enough, all right?

<v Speaker 1>Like I said, a real man that's intentional and serious

<v Speaker 1>is going to integrate into your life.

<v Speaker 2>He's going to integrate you into his life.

<v Speaker 1>Seamlessly, all right, not secretly, not vaguely, not someday where

<v Speaker 1>you're feeling like, all of a sudden, it's like a

<v Speaker 1>goal you're trying to reach, right where you're having to

<v Speaker 1>prove yourself to him.

<v Speaker 2>All right, it's right now? What is he doing right now?

<v Speaker 2>All right?

<v Speaker 1>And if he doesn't, again, it doesn't mean that you're unworthy,

<v Speaker 1>all right.

<v Speaker 2>It means that you are misaligned. That's all that it means.

<v Speaker 1>And that's okay. True confidence. Being a quality queen is

<v Speaker 1>understanding that it's okay. I know who I am. Things

<v Speaker 1>are allowed to not work out. I don't need to

<v Speaker 1>villainize someone, demonize someone just because things did not work

<v Speaker 1>out with them. It kind of just is what it is,

<v Speaker 1>and you just need to move forward. I know, that

<v Speaker 1>it's very tough. I know that it's hard to feel

<v Speaker 1>like you're having to start over and it's exhausting and

<v Speaker 1>you're feeling like you can't catch a break. But trust me,

<v Speaker 1>gets easier when you start to stand up for yourself

<v Speaker 1>and you stop eroding at your own boundaries, it will

<v Speaker 1>get easier for you to maintain those things and finally

<v Speaker 1>find someone that actually matches them. All right, the caliber

<v Speaker 1>of men that you will then attract are going to

<v Speaker 1>be a lot different.

<v Speaker 2>Okay.

<v Speaker 1>So there is also a scripture that says by their

<v Speaker 1>fruits you will recognize them.

<v Speaker 2>This is in Matthew seven, verse sixteen.

<v Speaker 1>So it's not by their words, it's not by people's promises,

<v Speaker 1>it's not by their potential, and it's for sure not

<v Speaker 1>the God first and the bio. Okay, it is their fruits.

<v Speaker 1>What are they producing, which is in a biblical sense

<v Speaker 1>the fruit of the spirit, you know, kindness, patience, like

<v Speaker 1>all the different things. God never asks you to discern

<v Speaker 1>people's intentions. He's asking you to observe the fruits of

<v Speaker 1>what this person is producing, especially for believers out there.

<v Speaker 1>All right, what is this person showcasing to me? So

<v Speaker 1>if the fruit is inconsistency. If the fruit is confusion,

<v Speaker 1>if the fruit is anxiety, that's your answer. It's not confusing,

<v Speaker 1>it's right there in front of you. So you were

<v Speaker 1>not called to be fixing men. You are called to

<v Speaker 1>have discernment over the situation and make observations. And this

<v Speaker 1>is where I know, we don't want to talk about this,

<v Speaker 1>but this is where a lot of you get caught up.

<v Speaker 1>You go, you go get with the guy, you go

<v Speaker 1>sleep with the guy. Now you really don't want to

<v Speaker 1>start over right now, you're come on, you don't, nah,

<v Speaker 1>I'm dang, I added another body, all these different things.

<v Speaker 2>That's another subject for another day.

<v Speaker 1>But of course, like why would you You've given your everything,

<v Speaker 1>you're given your best, and then you turn around in

<v Speaker 1>this it's still not good enough for this person. Of course,

<v Speaker 1>that's going to erode at your confidence in your security

<v Speaker 1>because you're gonna feel like, well, I mean, if that's

<v Speaker 1>not it, then what else can we do? Because now

<v Speaker 1>you're forced to realize that you were not emotionally aligned

<v Speaker 1>and you are not aligned in any other area. And

<v Speaker 1>that is what makes moving in that way, according to

<v Speaker 1>the World standards, very very dangerous. Okay, So sometimes desernment

<v Speaker 1>can look like like I said, if he wanted to,

<v Speaker 1>he would and actually assessing that. So you should ask yourself,

<v Speaker 1>am I attached to his actions? Or am I addicted

<v Speaker 1>to his potential? Okay? If nothing changed for the next

<v Speaker 1>six months, would I still choose this?

<v Speaker 2>That's your clarity. Don't lie to don't lie to it.

<v Speaker 1>To yourself. Okay, you can lie to me, but do

<v Speaker 1>not lie to yourself. Powerful woman, do not beg to

<v Speaker 1>be chosen. Okay, remember that they are going to decide

<v Speaker 1>who qualifies to be in their life.

<v Speaker 2>All right.

<v Speaker 1>That is the difference. That's the elevation in that, my friends,

<v Speaker 1>is quality queen control.

<v Speaker 2>So if you.

<v Speaker 1>Guys have liked this episode, I want you to give

<v Speaker 1>it a thumbs up. I want you to hype the video.

<v Speaker 1>If you see it, give it a five star rating

<v Speaker 1>if you are listening anywhere where you are listening and

<v Speaker 1>share this with a friend if they if you feel

<v Speaker 1>like they need to see it. No gatekeeping over here.

<v Speaker 1>With that being said, do not forget that I love

<v Speaker 1>you and God loves you. I'll speak to you, beautiful

<v Speaker 1>angels in my next video.