<v Speaker 1>Let me tell you this, and this goes both ways.

<v Speaker 1>You do not want people directing which way your relationship

<v Speaker 1>is supposed to go. It is something that you and

<v Speaker 1>that individual should feel. Too many cooks in the kitchen

<v Speaker 1>will always lead to disaster. Hey, Vibe, it's Asia Christina.

<v Speaker 1>This is Quality Queen Control. What is happening? Hello everybody?

<v Speaker 1>How are you feeling? Welcome to Quality Queen Control. Thank

<v Speaker 1>you for spending another day with me. Are you binging

<v Speaker 1>these podcast episodes? If you are, you are a real one.

<v Speaker 1>I have been going out of my way to make

<v Speaker 1>sure that I am answering as many comments as possible.

<v Speaker 1>I am currently working on adding my memberships to the

<v Speaker 1>channel so I can see who to prioritize answering you know,

<v Speaker 1>comments to, because I want to show a lot of

<v Speaker 1>love and respect to all of my writers on this

<v Speaker 1>channel that support me on the podcast and support me

<v Speaker 1>on all my platforms and everything. So my team and

<v Speaker 1>I are currently working on those things. And there's just

<v Speaker 1>so many exciting things that I have in store for

<v Speaker 1>you guys. So I have merched that I'm going to

<v Speaker 1>be working on. We have channel memberships that we're going

<v Speaker 1>to be working on. Also, Apple subscriptions as well for

<v Speaker 1>some bonus episodes for the podcast. I know right we're

<v Speaker 1>doing it all, so I'm very very excited about that,

<v Speaker 1>and I feel like my cup is genuinely filling up

<v Speaker 1>because of the fact that all the buckets that I

<v Speaker 1>want are officially happening. And also I did make a

<v Speaker 1>promise to myself that I would start prioritizing my Instagram.

<v Speaker 1>I feel like I've never prioritized my Instagram. I'm very

<v Speaker 1>fortunate to even have any followers on Instagram because I

<v Speaker 1>Instagram is the last platform that's on my mind. If

<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be honest, like, I don't really upload

<v Speaker 1>on there, and I just feel like I've always struggled

<v Speaker 1>with trying to understand what I'm putting on there. But

<v Speaker 1>I feel like it's coming together. And my manager helped

<v Speaker 1>me today come up with what we're going to be

<v Speaker 1>ideally doing so and my producer, so you know, we're

<v Speaker 1>working it out. Everything is coming together. Make sure if

<v Speaker 1>you see the option if you were watching me, to

<v Speaker 1>hype this video up because we have a goal of

<v Speaker 1>getting to two hundred and fifty thousand subscribers on this channel,

<v Speaker 1>and when you hype a video up. It really genuinely

<v Speaker 1>helps your favorite creators. So make sure that you are

<v Speaker 1>hyping the video up. It immediately tells the algorithm that, oh,

<v Speaker 1>we like this, show more people this, and some of

<v Speaker 1>you have been doing it already. And I love when

<v Speaker 1>you guys tell me like. Okay, I saw the hype

<v Speaker 1>option and I was able to hype the video up

<v Speaker 1>because it truly helps more than you know. It's basically

<v Speaker 1>like it. It's like the like button on steroids. It's

<v Speaker 1>like the like, but in times a million. It's like

<v Speaker 1>you gave the video a million likes pretty much. So

<v Speaker 1>if you have that option, make sure that you definitely

<v Speaker 1>do that, or if you have the option to just

<v Speaker 1>like it regularly, be sure to do so. This is

<v Speaker 1>the way of not only me gauging what you guys like,

<v Speaker 1>but it's also a nice way to feel supported putting

<v Speaker 1>this workout and knowing what's working and being received by

<v Speaker 1>you guys. Okay, so let's talk about this today. Let's

<v Speaker 1>talk about the lie that perhaps your life is as

<v Speaker 1>good as it's going to get. Right. This is the

<v Speaker 1>one thing that may not scream at you, but it

<v Speaker 1>may whisper right that maybe this is just your life.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe this is just as good as it's going to get.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe this relationship is good enough, Maybe this income is

<v Speaker 1>stable enough. You don't you're not a greedy girl. You

<v Speaker 1>don't want to ask for too much. Maybe this version

<v Speaker 1>of you is the best version of you. Maybe wanting

<v Speaker 1>more is selfish. Maybe you should just be grateful for

<v Speaker 1>what you already have and not even bother wanting anything else.

<v Speaker 1>You should always be grateful, But there's nothing wrong with

<v Speaker 1>desiring more. I want to confront this today because sometimes

<v Speaker 1>the most dangerous place that I feel a woman can

<v Speaker 1>live is in the it's fine, I don't need anything else.

<v Speaker 1>I the settled sort of mindset, right, And nobody talks

<v Speaker 1>about how seductive that comfort is of you know, it's

<v Speaker 1>not toxic enough to leave. It's not you know, lacking love,

<v Speaker 1>you know, or excitement enough to kind of just move

<v Speaker 1>on with your life. You're not even married. It's not

<v Speaker 1>fulfilling enough to thrive. It's just manageable, right, And that's

<v Speaker 1>no way to live, because manageable, period can become a prison. Actually, so, yeah,

<v Speaker 1>you might not be crying every night. He's may not

<v Speaker 1>be cheating on you, or maybe that you know of

<v Speaker 1>your bills are paid, your life looks decent on Instagram. Right,

<v Speaker 1>so you tell yourself, well, don't ruin. I don't want

<v Speaker 1>to ruin a good thing. But deep down your bored.

<v Speaker 1>You're unseen, you feel capped, you feel like your expansion

<v Speaker 1>is making other people uncomfortable, and instead of actually honoring

<v Speaker 1>that and digging deeper into that, you just shrink. Because

<v Speaker 1>starting over, of course is scary. Right, But let me

<v Speaker 1>just say this, just because something is calm does not

<v Speaker 1>make it aligned. Let me be very clear in saying

<v Speaker 1>that if you even feel an inkling that something is

<v Speaker 1>just not the right fit, it's giving. Almost it's giving.

<v Speaker 1>I almost got it right. Obviously, depending on the context,

<v Speaker 1>I am someone that I don't have kids or anything

<v Speaker 1>like that. It is way easier to make this decision

<v Speaker 1>when there are less parties involved, like children. But if

<v Speaker 1>you are in a position where all you have to

<v Speaker 1>do is walk away, you are already stable on your own,

<v Speaker 1>all the different things you're basically just there for. You

<v Speaker 1>just don't want to be alone, That's what it is.

<v Speaker 1>Come on, now, you're not dependent on this person financially,

<v Speaker 1>but in the event that maybe you are, then you

<v Speaker 1>have to move smarter, and you have to start to think, well,

<v Speaker 1>what can I do for myself to pour into myself

<v Speaker 1>to start to generate some sort of income, and then

<v Speaker 1>see how I feel, to see if maybe that was

<v Speaker 1>the missing link of maybe why I'm feeling like this

<v Speaker 1>is as good as life is going to get for me.

<v Speaker 1>All the things you can always reinvent yourself. So women

<v Speaker 1>don't usually settle dramatically. We tend to settle very slowly,

<v Speaker 1>so we lower one bar at a time. That's how

<v Speaker 1>it goes. We excuse the inconsistency, we are excusing the

<v Speaker 1>lack of vision. We excuse the emotional immaturity, we excuse

<v Speaker 1>the stagnation, and then one day we wake up and

<v Speaker 1>we realize we built a life around potential, or we

<v Speaker 1>built a life where we feel unseen, or we built

<v Speaker 1>a life where we feel like, oh my gosh, I

<v Speaker 1>think I made a mistake. This is not really what

<v Speaker 1>I want. I feel like we're not really connected. We're

<v Speaker 1>not really We actually are very different people. We don't

<v Speaker 1>even like the same things. And this is the real lie.

<v Speaker 1>You will start convincing yourself that this is really as

<v Speaker 1>high as you're gonna go. What are you gonna do.

<v Speaker 1>You're gonna tell all your friends that it's over. You've

<v Speaker 1>been with the same guy for five years. You're just

<v Speaker 1>gonna turn around and be done with it. He didn't

<v Speaker 1>even technically do anything to you really that much, so

<v Speaker 1>you don't really have a reason to leave. So people

<v Speaker 1>are going to make you think you're crazy. He's a

<v Speaker 1>great guy, perhaps, all the things. But think about it

<v Speaker 1>from this perspective. When you convince yourself that this is

<v Speaker 1>as high as you are allowed to go, then maybe

<v Speaker 1>marriage is the ultimate prize for you, even if you're

<v Speaker 1>not fully of yourself in it. Maybe stability matters more

<v Speaker 1>than you expanding yourself and being the best version of yourself.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe loneliness inside of a relationship feels better to you

<v Speaker 1>than being lonely alone. Okay, but is it or are

<v Speaker 1>we just afraid of the unknown? Right? This is where

<v Speaker 1>life gets uncomfortable when you have a fear of wanting more. Listen,

<v Speaker 1>we've all experienced this in life, right, because sometimes the

<v Speaker 1>issue is that life actually isn't that bad, isn't that crazy?

<v Speaker 1>I know it's that you've grown, or maybe the growth

<v Speaker 1>that you have experience it's causing tension. The old version

<v Speaker 1>of you that prayed for maybe your current circumstances is

<v Speaker 1>not aligning with the new version of you who does

<v Speaker 1>need more right, and we do feel guilty about that.

<v Speaker 1>I spoke to this lady one time who was talking

<v Speaker 1>to me about her marriage, and she was saying that

<v Speaker 1>the person that she met when she met her husband

<v Speaker 1>was the man that she needed at that time. But

<v Speaker 1>as she has evolved and she became a business owner

<v Speaker 1>and all these different things, her husband remained the same person,

<v Speaker 1>but that person wasn't aligning with the person and the

<v Speaker 1>woman that she currently is today. So as a result,

<v Speaker 1>it felt like there's just misalignment because I do believe

<v Speaker 1>that you have to be with someone that's going to

<v Speaker 1>align with all versions of yourself. And before you get

<v Speaker 1>up in arms and feel like, well that's not really possible,

<v Speaker 1>it is because you have friends, right, don't you see

<v Speaker 1>how your friends, If you have lifelong friends, I know

<v Speaker 1>I do. They have been with me through every single

<v Speaker 1>version of myself essentially, and it works out seamlessly. So

<v Speaker 1>I do believe that to be true for relationships as well,

<v Speaker 1>where you have to be having the same trajectory of

<v Speaker 1>the same outlook on life. But there are different versions

<v Speaker 1>of yourself as well that your partner will have to

<v Speaker 1>encounter and align with and vice versa. Right, so the

<v Speaker 1>person you're not going to remain. No, two people necessarily

<v Speaker 1>are remaining identical to the person that they became. Well,

<v Speaker 1>at least one party is going to end up evolving

<v Speaker 1>into something else. Yes, maybe you wanted to be a

<v Speaker 1>stay at home mom in the beginning, but then you

<v Speaker 1>decided you wanted to open up a business, and now

<v Speaker 1>that version of yourself needs to be accepted by your husband.

<v Speaker 1>And maybe there are some circumstances where you ended up

<v Speaker 1>becoming the breadwinner or making a larger salary than your

<v Speaker 1>husband even did initially, and so that's going to require

<v Speaker 1>a new version of yourself. Like you know, life happens,

<v Speaker 1>circumstances do change. So if you know, you think, well,

<v Speaker 1>if I want more than I'm ungrateful, if I want different,

<v Speaker 1>then that means that, like, maybe there's something wrong here,

<v Speaker 1>like I'm clearly not stable the fact that I want more,

<v Speaker 1>or you think, well, if I leave, maybe I'm being dramatic.

<v Speaker 1>How am I ever supposed to find someone else? And

<v Speaker 1>there was technically nothing wrong with this relationship. I just

<v Speaker 1>feel like it just wasn't really clicking for me, It

<v Speaker 1>wasn't really aligning for me. Like I just like feel

<v Speaker 1>like there's a there's a heart, large parts of myself

<v Speaker 1>that still feel very undiscovered, right, And I mean, you

<v Speaker 1>have to truly have this internal battle with yourself for

<v Speaker 1>a long time. I'm not saying as soon as the

<v Speaker 1>going gets tough and all of a sudden you're bored

<v Speaker 1>or something like that, just up and leave. Be very

<v Speaker 1>I want to be very clear that I'm I'm never

<v Speaker 1>advocating for infidelity, fantasizing in your mind about being with

<v Speaker 1>someone else or anything. No, no, no, no, no, okay, I rebuke. No.

<v Speaker 1>What I'm saying is if you really woke up one

<v Speaker 1>day and realized, like wait a second, I think that

<v Speaker 1>I clearly made a mistake, Like I realized I was

<v Speaker 1>in this relationship for the past five years and it

<v Speaker 1>does not really align with my true version of myself.

<v Speaker 1>Because you know, Tdjake said something I really love. He

<v Speaker 1>said that you have to be careful of you know

<v Speaker 1>once you heal that the person that you choose once

<v Speaker 1>you heal no longer is going to align with you

<v Speaker 1>because you're not that broken person. Anymore. And so the

<v Speaker 1>what ends up happening is you no longer will need

<v Speaker 1>that type of person when you are fully the healed

<v Speaker 1>version of yourself. So this goes back to if you

<v Speaker 1>have gotten with someone out of rescuing you or or

<v Speaker 1>trauma bonding in some sort of way, those dynamics don't

<v Speaker 1>usually have that much longevity as opposed to you meeting

<v Speaker 1>somebody from a more healed and evolved space. You have

<v Speaker 1>to be mindful of man like you have to make

<v Speaker 1>a choice right at some point or another, if your

<v Speaker 1>life allows you to do so. That evolution is always

<v Speaker 1>going to be threatening in environments that are built for

<v Speaker 1>a smaller version of yourself. Right. So this is the thing.

<v Speaker 1>You might not necessarily need a new man, no, but

<v Speaker 1>you might need a new standard, right, you know, And

<v Speaker 1>that matters how is that man going to rise to

<v Speaker 1>that occasion, that other version of yourself? Right? So let's

<v Speaker 1>also put this into perspective here. And this is the

<v Speaker 1>part also that a lot of people do not touch on,

<v Speaker 1>because I'm willing to bet that I probably have men

<v Speaker 1>haters on here and I am not a man hater.

<v Speaker 1>So there is a such thing as you know, woman

<v Speaker 1>making these errors as well, where sometimes there are men

<v Speaker 1>might not be in uh, it might be disproportionate to

<v Speaker 1>the amount of woman, but it still exists where there

<v Speaker 1>are men that also feel like man like I'm kind

<v Speaker 1>of settling, you know here where I you know, I

<v Speaker 1>really thought that this was he's the person for me.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe my family's telling me this is the person for me,

<v Speaker 1>but I don't necessarily feel like this is aligned. I'm

<v Speaker 1>feeling the pressure from everyone around me telling me that

<v Speaker 1>this is the person, but I'm not feeling that this

<v Speaker 1>is the person. Mistake. I'm telling you, if you are

<v Speaker 1>a man and you end up in a situation where

<v Speaker 1>everyone around you is telling you, well, what's wrong with her?

<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, why can't you just be with her? Like, oh,

<v Speaker 1>you just aw, you're just you know what, you just

<v Speaker 1>don't you just won't settle down. Oh you you're just

<v Speaker 1>being immature. Oh, one day you're gonna see that this

<v Speaker 1>girl was always there for you, She was always down

<v Speaker 1>for you. Is that how we should be making our

<v Speaker 1>decisions based off of the people that were down for us.

<v Speaker 1>Shouldn't it be a decision that is felt that, you

<v Speaker 1>know what, this is the love of my life? Let

<v Speaker 1>me tell you this, and this goes both ways. You

<v Speaker 1>do not want people directing which way your relationship is

<v Speaker 1>supposed to go. It is something that you and that

<v Speaker 1>individual should feel. Too many cooks in the kitchen will

<v Speaker 1>always lead to disaster. Now you turn around and you're

<v Speaker 1>realizing that you made a decision based off of what

<v Speaker 1>mom says, Dad says, all these different things, and the

<v Speaker 1>only reason you were They are probably inserting their opinion,

<v Speaker 1>or one of the reasons is because either one they

<v Speaker 1>are nosy and they need to butt out, or two,

<v Speaker 1>you already feel confused. You already feel like something is

<v Speaker 1>amiss here, and that's why you're asking for other people's opinions.

<v Speaker 1>Because I'll tell you this right now, if you were

<v Speaker 1>happy as a man and also as a woman, you're

<v Speaker 1>not going around asking so you know, I don't know,

<v Speaker 1>do you really think that this is the one for me? No,

<v Speaker 1>you're not even asking that. You're more concerned with do

<v Speaker 1>you see what I see in this person? Do you

<v Speaker 1>see how well this person matches me? This how well

<v Speaker 1>this person aligns with me? That's what the question is.

<v Speaker 1>It's not going to be I mean, like and then

<v Speaker 1>think about it. Your family doesn't have to convince you.

<v Speaker 1>They already see it. They won't be convincing you. Oh well, well,

<v Speaker 1>what are you better? You better marry her, You better

<v Speaker 1>do this, You better do it. They're not trying to

<v Speaker 1>convince you, and be careful, ladies of your parents trying

<v Speaker 1>to convince you. Well, you know what, you're already thirty five. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>you might as well just marry the guy. But you're

<v Speaker 1>feeling like, I just don't think that this is quite

<v Speaker 1>right for me, Like there's something a little amiss, Because

<v Speaker 1>what a tragedy it would be to make a decision

<v Speaker 1>that only you have to live in, by the way,

<v Speaker 1>because when you go home at night, it is not

<v Speaker 1>with your parents, your cousins, your aunts, all your friends.

<v Speaker 1>You're going home with that person that you decided to

<v Speaker 1>be with for the rest of your life. So what

<v Speaker 1>a tragedy it would be to even know, by the

<v Speaker 1>way that your husband was with you because he had

<v Speaker 1>to be convinced that you were the downcheck. What a

<v Speaker 1>tragedy it would be to know that you are only

<v Speaker 1>with your husband because your family convince you that he's

<v Speaker 1>as good as it's going to get for you. So

<v Speaker 1>now you're tolerating disrespect on all these different things because

<v Speaker 1>you're thinking that there's some sort of misalignment here, that

<v Speaker 1>there's something that you just don't see. You're not trusting yourself.

<v Speaker 1>You're not trusting yourself, and for men, you will that's

<v Speaker 1>not allowing you to make decisions on your own and

<v Speaker 1>you will not rise to the occasion because now you

<v Speaker 1>feel like, dang, it's everybody against me. They all feel

<v Speaker 1>like this is right. What am I not seeing? What's

<v Speaker 1>wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Now? How can

<v Speaker 1>you trust yourself if you feel like everyone seeing something

<v Speaker 1>that apparently you don't right? And the same goes for women.

<v Speaker 1>You are the only person that will be in that relationship.

<v Speaker 1>Why are you paying the cost and the price for

<v Speaker 1>something that you're not even sure truly makes sense? But

<v Speaker 1>everybody else is involved in it. You guys, need to

<v Speaker 1>heavily consider and think about that, right, So, like I said,

<v Speaker 1>you need more courage. That's what's needed. You need to

<v Speaker 1>have courage. It is you only get one life, guys,

<v Speaker 1>and I know that life can feel very scary. Starting

<v Speaker 1>over can feel scary, making new decisions, going against people

<v Speaker 1>are so used to dictating to you. What to do

<v Speaker 1>with your life, how to live your life, all these

<v Speaker 1>different things that you turn around and you don't even

<v Speaker 1>know left from right because you're so used to listening

<v Speaker 1>to what everyone else wants you to do and considering

<v Speaker 1>what everyone else wants you to do. Right. But at

<v Speaker 1>some point you're gonna have to stand ten toes down

<v Speaker 1>because some of you are not even confused. You're just

<v Speaker 1>afraid to admit that you're done. You're afraid to admit

<v Speaker 1>that perhaps this is the end of the road. Perhaps

<v Speaker 1>the person that everyone saw for you and you guys

<v Speaker 1>were the highlight. Oh everyone loves you know so and

<v Speaker 1>so together, you were the high school sweethearts, or you know,

<v Speaker 1>you've known this person all your life growing up, all

<v Speaker 1>these different things. It does not matter when you were

<v Speaker 1>the only person that has to go home and create

<v Speaker 1>a life with that individual. Right, So the lie is

<v Speaker 1>this as good as it's going to get, right, And

<v Speaker 1>don't listen to when people try to say those things

<v Speaker 1>to you, because it will create this like wound of

<v Speaker 1>you feeling like, oh my gosh, like am I missing it?

<v Speaker 1>Am I missing it? Am I missing it? Where you're

<v Speaker 1>just not trusting yourself, where you're blind to see and

<v Speaker 1>know for yourself and identify for yourself whether or not

<v Speaker 1>something is genuinely good for you. Someone genuinely aligns for you. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>And this goes for all aspects, not even people. What

<v Speaker 1>about jobs you have? Many times in life people have

<v Speaker 1>made comments, you know, oh uh, you're you're a stupid TikToker,

<v Speaker 1>You're you're this, you're that, Like social media isn't a

<v Speaker 1>real job. And if I would have listened to all

<v Speaker 1>those people, or if I would have listened to the

<v Speaker 1>person that told me that I need to get off

<v Speaker 1>YouTube or whatever that case is, I would not be

<v Speaker 1>here doing what I do. I'm doing a disservice to myself,

<v Speaker 1>not walking in my calling, because I'm allowing the naysayers,

<v Speaker 1>the projectors, and the unhappy people in life dictate to

<v Speaker 1>me what I should and shouldn't be doing. And it

<v Speaker 1>really rains true as you grow into adulthood that you

<v Speaker 1>really should not take advice from people you wouldn't want

<v Speaker 1>to switch places with, or you wouldn't want to there

<v Speaker 1>isn't something about them that you that you would like

<v Speaker 1>to emulate in some sort of way. It's like, why

<v Speaker 1>would you take advice from someone who is you know,

<v Speaker 1>very irresponsible, goes out drinking everything weekend, all these different things,

<v Speaker 1>and lost their job because they're constantly hungover. And then

<v Speaker 1>you lost your job and they're telling you, oh, man,

<v Speaker 1>don't worry, You're gonna find something else. Do you really

<v Speaker 1>care about that person has to say, because to you,

<v Speaker 1>you're like, well, we see how you move. You clearly

<v Speaker 1>don't care. So I hear you that life goes on,

<v Speaker 1>but you're not necessarily somebody that I want to hear from.

<v Speaker 1>I would rather hear advice from someone else that says,

<v Speaker 1>you know what, Hey, this happened to me too, you

<v Speaker 1>will overcome it. I'm sorry that you lost your job,

<v Speaker 1>but here are the things that I did to you know,

<v Speaker 1>try and get in touch with this agency or something

<v Speaker 1>like that so that I can get my resume out there,

<v Speaker 1>so that I can keep trying. But if you meet

<v Speaker 1>people that have very low standards for themselves and they're

<v Speaker 1>projecting those low standards onto you, that becomes your new

<v Speaker 1>normal where you're feeling like, man, Okay, well maybe I

<v Speaker 1>am being ungrateful. Maybe I should be grateful for what

<v Speaker 1>I have. Maybe this person is the person for me.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe this job you know was as good as it

<v Speaker 1>was going to get for me, But you're still feeling

<v Speaker 1>misaligned from the thing. Only you would have these answers.

<v Speaker 1>If you are feeling in your spirit that's one thing

<v Speaker 1>is a miss, then you should really tap into that

<v Speaker 1>because the truth is, you know, what we are currently

<v Speaker 1>in is just as far as our comfort zone goes,

<v Speaker 1>and comfort zones they do have ceilings, right, because God

<v Speaker 1>does not cap us at mediocrity, He doesn't. Right. One

<v Speaker 1>of my favorite scriptures is Jeremiah twenty nine to eleven,

<v Speaker 1>and it says, for I know the plans that I

<v Speaker 1>have for you, plans for you to you know, I'm

<v Speaker 1>paraphrasing here, succeed, have abundance, and all these different things.

<v Speaker 1>That is Jeremiah twenty nine to eleven. Plans plural, right,

<v Speaker 1>not survival, not stagnation, not ah, just good enough, no

<v Speaker 1>plans to prosper you. That is in the Bible. And

<v Speaker 1>sometimes prosperity requires movement. A lot of the times it does.

<v Speaker 1>Whatever that means for you, It requires a decision, even

<v Speaker 1>when it's convenient, even when it's unclear. And how about this,

<v Speaker 1>even when people don't understand. See a lot of the

<v Speaker 1>times we get stuck in Oh, I think this is

<v Speaker 1>as good as life is going to get for me,

<v Speaker 1>because you're listening to everyone else too many cooks in

<v Speaker 1>your kitchen. Oh well, why don't you try this? And

<v Speaker 1>oh why do you try that? And you're feeling crazier

<v Speaker 1>than ever because you're considering all of it because these

<v Speaker 1>people mean you well. But be prepared to be misunderstood.

<v Speaker 1>Be prepared for people to look at you and say,

<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Like you just like, like, what

<v Speaker 1>is going on with you? And honestly making you feel worse,

<v Speaker 1>making you feel like you're even more lost than normal

<v Speaker 1>because here you made a decision and you were feeling

<v Speaker 1>confident about it, and all of a sudden you're sucked

<v Speaker 1>back into thinking and wondering if maybe that was the

<v Speaker 1>right thing. Build up yourself so that you feel confident

<v Speaker 1>in your decisions, right and hope. Having hope in general

<v Speaker 1>is not necessarily pretending that everything is perfect. But having

<v Speaker 1>hope is that believing that there is more even when

<v Speaker 1>you cannot see it. In the Bible, it even says

<v Speaker 1>that faith is the substance of things hoped for the

<v Speaker 1>evidence of things not seen, aka, you are believing for

<v Speaker 1>something that is not even tangible yet, that's faith. So

<v Speaker 1>here's a challenge, right with love, What if you're actually

<v Speaker 1>not stuck. What if you just don't want to disrupt

<v Speaker 1>your own comfort and unfortunately, you will never grow in

<v Speaker 1>your comfort zone because disruption is going to require you

<v Speaker 1>to have very uncomfortable conversations. It's going to require you

<v Speaker 1>to have financial discipline. It's going to require you to

<v Speaker 1>emotionally detach from certain situations and people. It's going to

<v Speaker 1>require you to let go of people that misunderstand you

<v Speaker 1>and be okay with being misunderstood. It's going to require

<v Speaker 1>you perhaps to be alone for a season even, and

<v Speaker 1>all of that is uncomfortable. Put it like this, you

<v Speaker 1>will also have to choose between the comfort or even

<v Speaker 1>your calling. And a lot of the times that calling

<v Speaker 1>is going to make you make decisions that will absolutely

<v Speaker 1>not make sense to a lot of people. They won't.

<v Speaker 1>And the test is how long will you look crazy

<v Speaker 1>and be okay with it that people are going to

<v Speaker 1>be judging you. You're feeling like you have no idea

<v Speaker 1>what's going on, You're feeling like a hot mess all

<v Speaker 1>the different things, and everyone else's opinion is just adding

<v Speaker 1>to the confusion. You have to cut out the noise.

<v Speaker 1>It's between you and God. Right. Nobody can make the

<v Speaker 1>choice for you, but you. Right. So I want to

<v Speaker 1>end this by saying right. You are allowed to want

<v Speaker 1>a man who leads you without suffocating you. You are

<v Speaker 1>allowed to want money that gives you freedom. You are

<v Speaker 1>allowed to want a life that feels expansive. Right. You

<v Speaker 1>are allowed to have peace that does not require you

<v Speaker 1>to abandon yourself. Men, you are allowed to be a

<v Speaker 1>leader and make decisions without the pressure of your family

<v Speaker 1>dictating to you every single move that you're making, and

<v Speaker 1>then they want to call you irresponsible after, but they've

<v Speaker 1>never given you room to make your own decisions. Right,

<v Speaker 1>You don't want to live a life where you did

<v Speaker 1>everything right as a man. You got married at twenty,

<v Speaker 1>you did this, you did that, and now you're you're

<v Speaker 1>like forty years old, and you're like, what am I

<v Speaker 1>doing with my life? Because your whole life was just

<v Speaker 1>you just did what you were told, did what you

<v Speaker 1>were told, did what you were told, did what you

<v Speaker 1>were told dangerous. You never were taught to think for

<v Speaker 1>yourself and come to conclusions on your own, build up

<v Speaker 1>your own relationship. Same thing that goes as faith. If

<v Speaker 1>you never even picked up the Bible by yourself, the

<v Speaker 1>only closest you've got to you know God. The entire

<v Speaker 1>duration of your faith was in church, but she never

<v Speaker 1>read scripture outside of church. You never opened up your

<v Speaker 1>Bible outside of church. How deep can your relationship really be?

<v Speaker 1>You are allowed to outgrow things, you are allowed to pivot.

<v Speaker 1>You are allowed to say this was good for a season,

<v Speaker 1>but I am not done growing right. The lie that

<v Speaker 1>says this is as good as it's going to get,

<v Speaker 1>that will tell you that this is as good as

<v Speaker 1>it's going to get. But maybe this is just as

<v Speaker 1>good as you've tolerated. And the moment that you raise

<v Speaker 1>your tolerance for excellence, your entire life will shift. Thank you,

<v Speaker 1>guys so much for joining me on today. Send this

<v Speaker 1>to a friend. Make sure that you hype the video.

<v Speaker 1>Up Rate this podcast five stars if you are listening

<v Speaker 1>and do not forget that I love you and God

<v Speaker 1>loves you. I'll speak to you, beautiful angels in my

<v Speaker 1>next podcast episode.