1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,669 Once I was fully dressed, I walked into the room where my mom was expecting 2 00:00:04,669 --> 00:00:06,259 at least some kind of reaction. 3 00:00:06,578 --> 00:00:10,309 Instead, she looked at me and said, you know, weddings are really 4 00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:11,389 about the mother of the bride. 5 00:00:13,424 --> 00:00:13,714 What? 6 00:00:14,719 --> 00:00:16,219 This is actually my day. 7 00:00:17,509 --> 00:00:20,629 I can't believe when people say this is, did this really happen? 8 00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:22,250 Hi guys. 9 00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:27,938 Welcome to my final episode of, here Comes the Drama filmed in this room. 10 00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:28,928 Did I scare you guys? 11 00:00:30,338 --> 00:00:34,428 So, this is the last time I'll be filming a podcast episode 12 00:00:34,428 --> 00:00:36,324 or anything at this house. 13 00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,594 as you guys know, I am moving. 14 00:00:38,885 --> 00:00:42,275 many of you guys know, I don't really share too many personal details, so it's 15 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:43,865 just kind of been a here and there thing. 16 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:46,315 I don't plan on sharing too much. 17 00:00:46,375 --> 00:00:47,575 I like to keep my. 18 00:00:47,639 --> 00:00:52,133 Private life, private, you know, security and privacy is very important 19 00:00:52,133 --> 00:00:56,457 to me, so that's one of the main reasons, but it's very bittersweet. 20 00:00:56,660 --> 00:00:59,430 my husband and I have been here six years. 21 00:00:59,957 --> 00:01:02,854 Of course, this is my daughter's first home, and so I feel like 22 00:01:02,854 --> 00:01:06,454 there's like a lot of like unspoken anxiety about all that. 23 00:01:06,694 --> 00:01:09,957 Not just with moving, but I've just been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately. 24 00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:12,467 It's okay if I get a little vulnerable with you guys. 25 00:01:12,714 --> 00:01:16,430 I feel like this is a safe place for me to get vulnerable because people 26 00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:20,767 that are gonna take the time to listen to the podcast usually are pretty 27 00:01:20,887 --> 00:01:23,857 invested and are, loyal listeners. 28 00:01:24,315 --> 00:01:25,245 Like the content. 29 00:01:25,245 --> 00:01:27,555 So I know this is a little shift from the beginning, I promise 30 00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:30,559 you we'll get to the drama, but I just wanna be real with you guys. 31 00:01:30,559 --> 00:01:33,729 I mean, creating content is a dream. 32 00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:34,989 Like it's so much fun. 33 00:01:35,259 --> 00:01:38,709 Of course, that's not the only thing I do as many people think, but. 34 00:01:39,025 --> 00:01:40,045 it really is the dream. 35 00:01:40,075 --> 00:01:41,155 It's so much fun. 36 00:01:41,155 --> 00:01:45,445 I've worked in social media marketing for a long time and I love it. 37 00:01:45,652 --> 00:01:50,301 it's fun to be able to create and being able to turn this into books I have 38 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:54,286 many more plans for that of course, but there's a lot of burnout that comes 39 00:01:54,286 --> 00:01:59,754 with it and, Like the feeling that I am, this could be be gone in a second. 40 00:01:59,934 --> 00:02:03,084 And I put a lot of pressure on myself. 41 00:02:03,114 --> 00:02:05,964 And even with this move, I was like, originally I'm like, I'm 42 00:02:05,964 --> 00:02:07,314 gonna give myself a week off. 43 00:02:07,621 --> 00:02:12,531 But then I get this panic feeling of like, if I don't post, people 44 00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:14,271 will be mad if I don't post. 45 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,977 Which it feels wild to think, but it's like I've made this like 46 00:02:17,977 --> 00:02:21,577 part of my career and so I'm like, I don't wanna let people down. 47 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,312 I wanna be creating. 48 00:02:23,802 --> 00:02:26,172 and it's just hard sometimes to find the balance. 49 00:02:26,659 --> 00:02:31,069 you know, even when I worked corporate jobs, I definitely dealt with burnout. 50 00:02:31,579 --> 00:02:32,449 Definitely. 51 00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:35,209 Like, I would say at least once a quarter I would deal with some kind of 52 00:02:35,209 --> 00:02:37,609 burnout, because I go, go, go, go, go. 53 00:02:37,609 --> 00:02:39,139 I say yes to everything. 54 00:02:39,402 --> 00:02:42,012 I stay late, I arrive early, you know, whatever that is. 55 00:02:42,382 --> 00:02:46,729 and then there's just, it like slowly hits me and then it's just like, damn. 56 00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:51,280 I need to like, close my computer, turn off my phone and like pull 57 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,604 myself away from anything for a while. 58 00:02:55,170 --> 00:02:57,030 And I know I'm starting to feel that 'cause there's just 59 00:02:57,030 --> 00:02:58,440 so much going on right now. 60 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:02,114 And so, like, even as, as I'm recording this, by the time you guys hear 61 00:03:02,114 --> 00:03:05,194 this, it'll be like six weeks later. 62 00:03:05,194 --> 00:03:06,904 So hopefully I'm out of this. 63 00:03:07,324 --> 00:03:12,580 But, As the time I'm recording this, we're moving in a couple days and 64 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,620 I'm still recording and filming. 65 00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:18,550 You know, like my closet is still, I'm filming in my closet at this place. 66 00:03:18,550 --> 00:03:22,474 Hunt's one of the reasons we need to move, but, and I'm still surrounded by clothes. 67 00:03:22,830 --> 00:03:25,350 so I need to be moving everything out tomorrow. 68 00:03:26,034 --> 00:03:30,774 I just, I hold onto a lot and I feel a lot of imposter syndrome with doing all this. 69 00:03:30,834 --> 00:03:33,937 Um, I'm not gonna try to get too vulnerable because I always feel 70 00:03:33,937 --> 00:03:35,917 like if someone's listening, it's their first time, they're gonna 71 00:03:35,917 --> 00:03:37,507 be like, uh, Ron for the hills. 72 00:03:38,144 --> 00:03:40,997 but I deal with such bad imposter syndrome. 73 00:03:40,997 --> 00:03:43,907 I feel like I'm constantly trying to be liked by people. 74 00:03:44,254 --> 00:03:48,320 and so when I go to post, I'm like, oh my gosh, are they gonna like me? 75 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:48,860 Um. 76 00:03:49,245 --> 00:03:53,145 This is like long before, you know, social media or making content on this page. 77 00:03:53,145 --> 00:03:54,735 That's just something I've always dealt with. 78 00:03:54,987 --> 00:03:58,227 I remember bosses coming to me and being like, you're doing so great. 79 00:03:58,227 --> 00:04:01,277 Like, you know, thanks for getting us to this achievement or doing this. 80 00:04:01,277 --> 00:04:03,047 And I'd be like, who are they talking to? 81 00:04:03,047 --> 00:04:04,067 They're not talking to me. 82 00:04:04,067 --> 00:04:04,817 There's no way. 83 00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:06,787 it's just something I've always dealt with. 84 00:04:07,130 --> 00:04:10,370 and I remember posting about this before and I had so many people send me messages 85 00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:12,140 that were just so kind and so helpful. 86 00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:14,097 I just feel like at any moment. 87 00:04:15,065 --> 00:04:19,552 All of this could be pulled away from me, and that can happen with anything. 88 00:04:19,702 --> 00:04:28,005 Um, and I need to constantly remind myself that, um, sorry guys, that just to take 89 00:04:28,005 --> 00:04:31,605 it like day by day, I need to constantly remind myself to take things day by 90 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,185 day and, allow myself to have breaks. 91 00:04:35,082 --> 00:04:38,892 I like being productive and I like doing things and getting things done, but 92 00:04:38,892 --> 00:04:40,692 I also like being a very present mom. 93 00:04:40,932 --> 00:04:43,302 And so that's also shifted how I work. 94 00:04:43,752 --> 00:04:46,812 it's hard for me to a hundred percent focus on work when she's 95 00:04:46,812 --> 00:04:51,428 awake or when she's out or needs me because, she's such a pivotal point, 96 00:04:51,578 --> 00:04:53,438 like part of my life of course. 97 00:04:53,438 --> 00:04:54,818 And so I wanna be very present. 98 00:04:55,293 --> 00:04:59,673 She's a very present father too, you know, and so, like, he's obviously 99 00:04:59,673 --> 00:05:03,343 very capable, but it's just like, I don't wanna miss on moments too. 100 00:05:03,373 --> 00:05:08,403 So I find I'm constantly in this fight or flight mode, and maybe 101 00:05:08,403 --> 00:05:10,863 I need to talk to someone about that, not just on the podcast. 102 00:05:11,403 --> 00:05:12,903 Maybe I'm just letting it all out now. 103 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,310 but yeah, I feel like I'm in this fight or flight mode a lot of the 104 00:05:16,310 --> 00:05:21,136 times because I'm, uh, always, you know, when I'm with my daughter. 105 00:05:21,935 --> 00:05:25,205 Like, you know, helping her or, you know, assisting or whatever I need to do. 106 00:05:25,579 --> 00:05:28,129 then when I have limited time to get stuff done, I'm like, 107 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:29,749 okay, let's put this on a list. 108 00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:32,809 I have to get through these five things in the next three hours. 109 00:05:33,089 --> 00:05:36,209 or when she's down for bed, then I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get through 110 00:05:36,416 --> 00:05:38,456 these things, but I'm exhausted. 111 00:05:38,456 --> 00:05:41,126 And so a lot of people don't know that that's what kind 112 00:05:41,126 --> 00:05:42,566 of goes on behind the scenes. 113 00:05:42,799 --> 00:05:46,519 usually like I have like two good days that I'm like very 114 00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:47,929 focused on work and like. 115 00:05:48,259 --> 00:05:50,639 That's like my husband's out there with my daughter. 116 00:05:50,916 --> 00:05:54,156 and then the other days I kind of flop it where like, my husband 117 00:05:54,304 --> 00:05:57,609 focuses on work and then I am, with my daughter, in the mornings we kind of. 118 00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:00,389 Not that anyone cares about our schedules. 119 00:06:01,769 --> 00:06:04,349 Um, but it's just like, I feel like I'm always in this fight or flight. 120 00:06:04,349 --> 00:06:05,939 Like people are like, oh, where's the next part? 121 00:06:05,939 --> 00:06:08,216 And that's just kind of a little more behind the scenes. 122 00:06:08,276 --> 00:06:12,086 And it's kind of wild because it's like anytime I'm in a burnout stage, 123 00:06:12,379 --> 00:06:16,879 it's like you're doing stuff you love and that's what's the hard part. 124 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,992 'cause you're like, well, like my husband will be like, well, 125 00:06:18,992 --> 00:06:20,462 just don't post something today. 126 00:06:20,462 --> 00:06:23,159 And I'm like, but I love the creation. 127 00:06:23,159 --> 00:06:24,329 It makes me feel. 128 00:06:25,006 --> 00:06:25,606 Valid. 129 00:06:25,606 --> 00:06:27,986 It makes me feel like I'm, accomplishing something. 130 00:06:27,986 --> 00:06:29,906 It makes me feel like I'm doing something. 131 00:06:30,536 --> 00:06:33,026 but at the same time, I think it's an important lesson. 132 00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:35,930 So for anyone that's listening and needs this advice, I feel 133 00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:37,250 like it's an important lesson. 134 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:40,937 Like when we get that feeling of burned out, that it's okay 135 00:06:40,937 --> 00:06:43,317 to step back and, , you know. 136 00:06:44,492 --> 00:06:47,617 Take a breath and people will survive. 137 00:06:47,617 --> 00:06:50,527 If you know nothing is life or death. 138 00:06:50,527 --> 00:06:53,197 That's why I always say I am like, I remember when I did my marketing job, 139 00:06:53,567 --> 00:06:57,677 six years ago, and that boss would always say like, you know what, nothing 140 00:06:57,677 --> 00:07:02,663 is life or death like seriously, If the sales report doesn't get done 141 00:07:02,663 --> 00:07:04,073 by the end of the week, it's okay. 142 00:07:04,583 --> 00:07:06,503 so that's a good reminder. 143 00:07:06,953 --> 00:07:09,680 You know, it's like, it's good to, you know, just take a step 144 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,033 back and do something for you. 145 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:16,953 I've been trying to do like meditation and stuff too, so that was a rabbit hole. 146 00:07:17,493 --> 00:07:19,203 Also, I think I need to stop reading comments. 147 00:07:20,947 --> 00:07:22,357 But anyway, how are you guys doing? 148 00:07:22,357 --> 00:07:23,797 I hope you guys are doing great. 149 00:07:24,287 --> 00:07:25,517 I just needed to get that out. 150 00:07:25,547 --> 00:07:28,307 I feel like there's like just a lot of like emotion and feeling 151 00:07:28,307 --> 00:07:29,297 with this place like that. 152 00:07:29,297 --> 00:07:31,957 I've lived here for so long and now we're like in the midst of 153 00:07:31,957 --> 00:07:35,610 packing and there's just all these like last minute things and, um, I 154 00:07:35,610 --> 00:07:36,790 talked about it before, just like. 155 00:07:37,360 --> 00:07:41,414 like a crier, or I was a crier more so before my daughter was 156 00:07:41,414 --> 00:07:43,334 born, and now I just feel like I'm always like, go, go, go. 157 00:07:43,334 --> 00:07:46,097 I don't always have time to cry, and it's like, bam, whoa. 158 00:07:46,097 --> 00:07:47,147 Everything's sending me at once. 159 00:07:47,207 --> 00:07:49,214 Okay, I'll stop being boring. 160 00:07:50,699 --> 00:07:53,595 You guys are still hanging on with me. 161 00:07:53,655 --> 00:07:54,735 Thanks for listening. 162 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:55,785 Thanks for being here. 163 00:07:55,785 --> 00:07:57,585 Like thanks for letting me get vulnerable. 164 00:07:58,035 --> 00:07:58,875 there's more to come. 165 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:00,435 It's really hard to be vulnerable. 166 00:08:00,615 --> 00:08:04,185 It's really hard to be vulnerable and share, like, as I said, like 167 00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:08,685 I'm very private and I think in the nature of the kind of content I do, 168 00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:12,165 being skits and telling stories, I'm able to easily hide, right? 169 00:08:12,165 --> 00:08:15,735 So it's like if something's going on here, I don't have to bring it on camera. 170 00:08:15,735 --> 00:08:16,185 I can just. 171 00:08:16,635 --> 00:08:20,905 I can just turn on the character from a skit, that makes it a little bit easier. 172 00:08:20,905 --> 00:08:24,025 So I'm trying to be a little more vulnerable and allow myself to 173 00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,055 share more, but it's really scary. 174 00:08:26,835 --> 00:08:28,305 So thanks for being here. 175 00:08:28,929 --> 00:08:30,609 All right, let's jump into some fun stuff. 176 00:08:31,473 --> 00:08:36,213 we're gonna start with some hot takes, and then we'll do the blind reaction story. 177 00:08:36,213 --> 00:08:37,773 That seems pretty wild. 178 00:08:37,833 --> 00:08:38,193 Okay. 179 00:08:39,098 --> 00:08:40,478 All right, here we go. 180 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,008 Hot takes. 181 00:08:42,599 --> 00:08:46,859 Being asked to be a bridesmaid is more of a financial obligation 182 00:08:46,889 --> 00:08:48,529 than an honor these days. 183 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:53,039 You know, I would kind of have to agree. 184 00:08:53,619 --> 00:08:58,599 I would say there's a lot of people that mean well by who they want asked in their 185 00:08:58,599 --> 00:09:00,489 wedding, and it's still holds true honor. 186 00:09:00,823 --> 00:09:05,898 However, I think we get caught up in the Pinterest wedding and we want all these. 187 00:09:05,898 --> 00:09:07,788 Unrealistic expectations. 188 00:09:08,062 --> 00:09:12,021 And I've read so many stories where it seems like they just want a number. 189 00:09:12,588 --> 00:09:18,588 And that's sad to me because we lose the point of having like a bridesmaid or a 190 00:09:18,588 --> 00:09:23,168 groomsman or someone by your side, it's caught up in what can they do for me? 191 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,244 What money can they put into the wedding? 192 00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:27,224 And that's just not okay. 193 00:09:27,314 --> 00:09:27,884 Um. 194 00:09:28,243 --> 00:09:32,073 For me, it was more about the actual person, less about what money can they 195 00:09:32,073 --> 00:09:33,723 put in or what time can they put in? 196 00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:37,739 And your wedding, like to you, it's the most important day. 197 00:09:37,739 --> 00:09:39,629 But to everybody else, it's, just another day. 198 00:09:40,143 --> 00:09:41,283 Their lives still move on. 199 00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:42,453 So I think we need to remember that. 200 00:09:42,483 --> 00:09:46,896 But unfortunately, I do see it many times as being a financial obligation. 201 00:09:47,106 --> 00:09:49,836 People are having to spend thousands upon thousands of dollars. 202 00:09:50,303 --> 00:09:52,643 I find people writing to me that they've gone bankrupt. 203 00:09:53,008 --> 00:09:55,978 Because of being in a wedding, and that's just a true friend would 204 00:09:55,978 --> 00:09:57,868 never have put you in that situation. 205 00:09:58,558 --> 00:09:58,888 Okay. 206 00:09:59,352 --> 00:10:02,278 Two plus ones should only be given to couples who have been 207 00:10:02,278 --> 00:10:03,598 together for at least a year. 208 00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:05,924 Um, I wanna disagree on that. 209 00:10:05,924 --> 00:10:07,874 I think it's just up to the bride and groom. 210 00:10:08,194 --> 00:10:11,404 I don't think it should have to be a certain amount of time. 211 00:10:11,618 --> 00:10:14,424 I think, you know, like there's situations where maybe they've 212 00:10:14,424 --> 00:10:15,924 just never met your plus one. 213 00:10:15,924 --> 00:10:17,034 They never go to anything. 214 00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,434 So they have no relationship with them, Do they need to be 215 00:10:20,434 --> 00:10:21,694 obligated to invite the person? 216 00:10:21,694 --> 00:10:22,594 No, I don't think so. 217 00:10:22,594 --> 00:10:24,724 Especially if you live like outta state, you never see them. 218 00:10:25,018 --> 00:10:26,098 but then there's other couples. 219 00:10:26,098 --> 00:10:30,091 Maybe they meet you right away or maybe they meet your plus one right away. 220 00:10:30,211 --> 00:10:32,624 You always hang out so. 221 00:10:32,885 --> 00:10:35,345 I don't think it should matter that you haven't been together a year. 222 00:10:35,991 --> 00:10:38,031 And then some weddings just give plus ones to everybody. 223 00:10:38,091 --> 00:10:40,851 I remember going to a wedding where my mom's friend once 224 00:10:40,851 --> 00:10:42,850 years ago, and I got a plus one. 225 00:10:42,850 --> 00:10:43,690 I was 19. 226 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:47,765 I wasn't even, no, maybe 19 or 20, and I was not even 227 00:10:47,855 --> 00:10:49,235 planning on bringing a plus one. 228 00:10:49,235 --> 00:10:51,185 I was like, oh, I guess I was bringing my friend from college. 229 00:10:51,761 --> 00:10:52,361 So yeah. 230 00:10:53,031 --> 00:10:55,780 Number three, if you can't afford to attend a destination wedding, 231 00:10:55,810 --> 00:10:57,550 You shouldn't feel guilty saying no. 232 00:10:57,850 --> 00:11:01,000 No matter how close you are to the couple, yes, 100%. 233 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,460 You should not feel guilty about not attending a destination wedding. 234 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:05,140 It is a request. 235 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,730 It's an invitation, not a demand. 236 00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:07,840 You do not have to be there. 237 00:11:08,050 --> 00:11:10,030 That's why I don't get, when people say destination weddings 238 00:11:10,030 --> 00:11:11,757 are selfish, it's their wedding. 239 00:11:11,847 --> 00:11:13,347 They can do whatever they want for their wedding. 240 00:11:13,557 --> 00:11:14,667 It's not selfish. 241 00:11:14,937 --> 00:11:17,547 So just in the same way, it's not selfish for you to say no. 242 00:11:17,727 --> 00:11:20,157 It's not rude for you to say no if you can't afford it. 243 00:11:20,682 --> 00:11:21,072 Don't go. 244 00:11:21,386 --> 00:11:24,967 I remember being invited to destination wedding years ago, I wanna say maybe 245 00:11:24,967 --> 00:11:27,844 10 years ago, and, loved the couple. 246 00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:29,174 we were pretty close with them. 247 00:11:29,174 --> 00:11:31,214 I wouldn't say like best friends, but pretty close. 248 00:11:31,772 --> 00:11:33,404 And I just knew we couldn't afford it. 249 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:35,280 It was just out of our price range. 250 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,840 And we said, no, there was no hard feelings. 251 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,550 We saw them like the following weekend and asked 'em all about it, and it was great. 252 00:11:41,517 --> 00:11:41,697 Okay. 253 00:11:42,489 --> 00:11:44,829 Four engagement parties are unnecessary. 254 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:46,659 And just another gift grab. 255 00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:52,794 I am gonna say yes, they are unnecessary because I don't want anyone 256 00:11:52,794 --> 00:11:54,084 to feel like you have to have one. 257 00:11:54,444 --> 00:11:57,234 So yes, I'm gonna say engagement parties are unnecessary. 258 00:11:57,579 --> 00:11:57,799 and. 259 00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:04,364 In all of my time of going to many, many weddings, I think I've only been to one 260 00:12:04,364 --> 00:12:10,568 or two engagement parties, and the ones I've been to, no, two, two or three. 261 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,538 The ones I've been to were more of like a proposal, like fun, 262 00:12:13,538 --> 00:12:15,698 surprise, engagement party after. 263 00:12:15,698 --> 00:12:18,218 It wasn't like a special extra party. 264 00:12:18,218 --> 00:12:21,074 It was more like we were all waiting at someone's house and then the 265 00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,448 couple came and so it turned into like a little mini engagement party. 266 00:12:24,468 --> 00:12:28,333 it was like just immediate family, very simple, just like desserts. 267 00:12:28,746 --> 00:12:31,206 Um, I don't even think there were gifts that I knew of. 268 00:12:31,661 --> 00:12:32,681 So it was very simple. 269 00:12:32,681 --> 00:12:35,061 So I think you can do it tastefully, and I think it's. 270 00:12:35,576 --> 00:12:39,832 Totally fine to celebrate as an engagement party, but in general, 271 00:12:39,832 --> 00:12:40,912 I think they're unnecessary. 272 00:12:40,912 --> 00:12:42,622 I don't think you have to have one. 273 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:44,419 There's a lot of pressure. 274 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:47,599 People feel like they have to, they see these, again, these Pinterest 275 00:12:47,599 --> 00:12:51,553 boards or social media like beautiful engagement parties, and they're 276 00:12:51,553 --> 00:12:53,053 like, oh my gosh, another expense. 277 00:12:53,053 --> 00:12:56,569 Like I never once felt like I had to have an engagement party again. 278 00:12:56,569 --> 00:12:59,479 when I got engaged, two of our best friend couples were there. 279 00:12:59,844 --> 00:13:03,278 when the proposal happened, then it turned into like, oh, we were having champagne 280 00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:05,114 with like, four of our closest friends. 281 00:13:05,354 --> 00:13:08,674 So if you wanna call that a mini engagement party, but not really, right? 282 00:13:08,674 --> 00:13:09,514 No one else was there. 283 00:13:09,988 --> 00:13:10,961 Um, five. 284 00:13:10,961 --> 00:13:14,711 It's rude to have a child free wedding if most of your guests have kids. 285 00:13:14,921 --> 00:13:16,388 No, it's not rude. 286 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:19,538 Again, it's your choice as the couple getting married. 287 00:13:20,288 --> 00:13:26,361 Me personally, if I knew most of my guests, like, had small kids and 288 00:13:26,391 --> 00:13:29,169 like had to come with them, like maybe I would reconsider, but like 289 00:13:29,403 --> 00:13:33,599 a lot of our friends at the time we got married had kids and most of 290 00:13:33,599 --> 00:13:35,476 them were like, we need a night out. 291 00:13:35,536 --> 00:13:36,436 We need a night away. 292 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:39,756 But like for example, one of my, brides mates was like. 293 00:13:40,061 --> 00:13:41,801 Going through some family stuff before, and she didn't 294 00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:42,881 know if she had a babysitter. 295 00:13:42,941 --> 00:13:45,881 And I was like, bring your daughter to the rehearsal dinner. 296 00:13:45,941 --> 00:13:46,931 We will figure it out. 297 00:13:46,931 --> 00:13:49,711 Like my first thought wasn't like, keep kids away. 298 00:13:49,711 --> 00:13:52,471 It was like, how can I make sure we help you? 299 00:13:52,501 --> 00:13:53,311 What do you need? 300 00:13:53,684 --> 00:13:54,877 And she was like, a persistent. 301 00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,472 She was like, no, no, no, I'm, not bringing her. 302 00:13:56,472 --> 00:13:57,582 I'm just, you know, it's going on. 303 00:13:57,582 --> 00:13:59,382 I was like, okay, well that is an option. 304 00:13:59,637 --> 00:14:00,747 I'm not gonna turn you away. 305 00:14:00,747 --> 00:14:04,026 Like if you need to bring her, we can keep her occupied. 306 00:14:04,086 --> 00:14:05,346 There's plenty of people here to help. 307 00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:06,261 but. 308 00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:08,321 No, I never think, I don't think it's rude. 309 00:14:08,351 --> 00:14:11,261 I would not think it's rude if someone invited just me and my husband. 310 00:14:11,261 --> 00:14:13,841 There are certain places that are only for adults and that's okay. 311 00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:18,938 Six wedding speeches should be ca at three minutes, no exceptions. 312 00:14:19,745 --> 00:14:26,127 I'm gonna say no because I've heard some longer ones that are fine, but I would 313 00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:28,827 never go over like four, five, absolutely. 314 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:29,457 Tops. 315 00:14:29,825 --> 00:14:30,837 They should be capped. 316 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,925 I would say like four minutes I think is okay. 317 00:14:33,528 --> 00:14:35,358 it also depends on how many people are talking. 318 00:14:35,568 --> 00:14:37,918 If you have just one person giving a speech, go wild. 319 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:38,878 Go four or five minutes. 320 00:14:39,208 --> 00:14:43,708 If you have multiple, then yes, let's cut it off at two to three minutes. 321 00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:45,230 Okay. 322 00:14:45,230 --> 00:14:48,710 Number seven, if the couple is paying for the wedding themselves, they 323 00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,450 shouldn't have to invite extended family. 324 00:14:50,450 --> 00:14:51,260 They barely know. 325 00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:52,910 Um, 100%. 326 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,094 Yeah, you I mean, you should never feel like you have to invite 327 00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,644 someone you don't know, even if someone else is paying for it. 328 00:14:58,006 --> 00:14:59,116 or paying for part of it. 329 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:01,970 But that needs to be established ahead of time because we hear those 330 00:15:01,970 --> 00:15:04,940 crazy stories where people give money with strings attached and they say, 331 00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,200 well, you have to invite so and so. 332 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:09,590 So before you accept money from somebody or talk about money, 333 00:15:09,870 --> 00:15:11,000 make sure it's established. 334 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,990 Like, this is how we're having the wedding, though. 335 00:15:13,110 --> 00:15:17,410 We will accept a gift of whatever, but this is how we're doing it. 336 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,960 And then if you feel like any strings are attached, then make sure 337 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,600 you, uh, don't accept that money. 338 00:15:22,136 --> 00:15:22,526 Okay. 339 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:26,853 Posting your wedding registry for more than once is tacky. 340 00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,753 I'm gonna go with posting it at all. 341 00:15:29,903 --> 00:15:33,443 Um, I don't think you should be posting your wedding registry. 342 00:15:33,443 --> 00:15:34,463 Where are you posting it? 343 00:15:34,463 --> 00:15:37,853 I think you should put it on your bridal shower invite. 344 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:40,946 And I think you should put it on your wedding website invitation. 345 00:15:41,213 --> 00:15:44,366 But posting any kind of registry to your social media? 346 00:15:44,426 --> 00:15:44,876 No. 347 00:15:44,936 --> 00:15:47,606 If that's what this is talking about, um, no. 348 00:15:48,385 --> 00:15:52,868 We shouldn't be doing GoFundMe or registries to the public. 349 00:15:53,058 --> 00:15:55,908 people that we're not inviting to these events, people that we don't know, why 350 00:15:55,908 --> 00:15:59,778 are we accepting gifts from people that we wouldn't invite to our own wedding? 351 00:16:00,171 --> 00:16:02,961 So yeah, posting it, no, we're not gonna post it. 352 00:16:03,711 --> 00:16:05,901 Just give it to people that are invited to different events. 353 00:16:06,635 --> 00:16:09,755 Bridesmaids shouldn't have to pay for their own dresses. 354 00:16:10,714 --> 00:16:12,344 Uh, I go back and forth. 355 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:16,180 I feel like if I were to get married now, I wouldn't make them pay for it. 356 00:16:16,340 --> 00:16:17,150 but that was the only thing. 357 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,880 I had them pay for everything else, like was covered and I was 358 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,797 like, wear whatever shoes you want. 359 00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:26,717 Um, and the dresses were under a hundred dollars, but, So it's kind of like 360 00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:30,137 something that you have to establish ahead of time, saying like, okay, 361 00:16:30,496 --> 00:16:32,710 I expect you to buy these dresses. 362 00:16:32,740 --> 00:16:34,390 This is the budget we're gonna look at. 363 00:16:34,633 --> 00:16:37,273 Um, it's one of those things that communication can really help. 364 00:16:37,383 --> 00:16:41,263 but don't make them pay thousands of dollars for a trip. 365 00:16:41,503 --> 00:16:43,243 So, yeah, I don't know. 366 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:44,263 I, I don't think. 367 00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:47,388 It should be a guarantee, but I think if that's what you kind of 368 00:16:47,388 --> 00:16:50,292 have in mind for your own wedding, just make sure you're clear about it. 369 00:16:51,098 --> 00:16:51,968 All right, last one. 370 00:16:52,094 --> 00:16:55,783 If someone declines your wedding invite, you shouldn't expect to get a gift. 371 00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:58,668 I actually 100% agree with this. 372 00:16:59,055 --> 00:17:01,755 I think if you are invited to a wedding, if you are close to that 373 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:03,105 person, you just can't make it. 374 00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,395 You should send something. 375 00:17:04,395 --> 00:17:05,295 It doesn't need to be huge. 376 00:17:05,295 --> 00:17:09,112 Or it could even just be a card, a small gift card, you know, buy a 377 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,472 drink next time or out, whatever that is, depending on how close you are. 378 00:17:12,812 --> 00:17:16,738 But as the bride or groom or anyone getting married, you 379 00:17:16,738 --> 00:17:18,178 should not expect a gift. 380 00:17:18,735 --> 00:17:22,318 For me, like if people said no, I was not expecting to hear from them 381 00:17:22,495 --> 00:17:26,052 or get something extra special from them, I'm like, no, you can just 382 00:17:26,172 --> 00:17:28,032 text me thing, like, congratulations. 383 00:17:28,032 --> 00:17:28,542 I don't know. 384 00:17:28,803 --> 00:17:31,812 But even then it's just like, no, I don't think you should expect it. 385 00:17:32,430 --> 00:17:34,200 People decline for all kinds of reasons. 386 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,876 One could be financials, maybe they don't have the money to do it. 387 00:17:36,876 --> 00:17:39,639 And I think if we're inviting someone, it should be on, be 388 00:17:39,639 --> 00:17:41,109 beyond what they're gonna give us. 389 00:17:48,572 --> 00:17:48,726 Okay. 390 00:17:49,694 --> 00:17:50,204 Here we go. 391 00:17:50,204 --> 00:17:53,204 Let's get to this week's blind reaction. 392 00:17:53,711 --> 00:17:57,371 My wedding was honestly a nightmare surrounded by difficult personalities 393 00:17:57,371 --> 00:17:59,291 with the lead up at just as chaotic. 394 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:03,559 My husband and I were young living in Boston, trying to plan a wedding 395 00:18:03,559 --> 00:18:06,199 that wouldn't break the bank but would still be meaningful. 396 00:18:06,594 --> 00:18:10,254 We decided to put more of our money toward our honeymoon and a future down 397 00:18:10,254 --> 00:18:12,384 payment on a home that's very smart. 398 00:18:12,941 --> 00:18:17,274 Uh, we got married in the Boston Common with our reception at the Old State House. 399 00:18:17,754 --> 00:18:21,774 My dad contributed a couple thousand dollars, which helped with catering 400 00:18:21,774 --> 00:18:26,394 and deposits, and my father-in-law told my husband he would cover the bar. 401 00:18:26,963 --> 00:18:29,363 As the wedding got closer, my father-in-law sent a 402 00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:31,982 check for the bar for $100. 403 00:18:32,448 --> 00:18:36,752 Inside the car, he wrote that we should use it to buy plenty of milk. 404 00:18:37,079 --> 00:18:38,579 I still don't know what that meant. 405 00:18:39,537 --> 00:18:43,557 Around the same time during a visit to their house, which for contacts 406 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:48,586 was worth over a million dollars, my father-in-law sat me down and told me I 407 00:18:48,586 --> 00:18:51,316 was not allowed to hyphenate my last name. 408 00:18:51,886 --> 00:18:55,096 I'm sorry, is he gonna be the one that has your name? 409 00:18:55,096 --> 00:18:55,666 Why? 410 00:18:56,676 --> 00:18:58,156 Why does that bother him? 411 00:18:58,647 --> 00:19:03,807 According to him, I either take their last name fully or call off the wedding. 412 00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,637 Those are your only two options. 413 00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:07,938 Oh my gosh. 414 00:19:08,418 --> 00:19:12,588 I know so many women that kept their own last name because of 415 00:19:12,588 --> 00:19:13,878 different accomplishments they had. 416 00:19:13,878 --> 00:19:16,028 They wanted to keep it on their own name, or. 417 00:19:16,658 --> 00:19:17,944 They, Hyphenated. 418 00:19:18,243 --> 00:19:23,916 that's up to you, not anyone else coming in and saying that his partner, who I'll 419 00:19:23,916 --> 00:19:26,889 just refer to as my mother-in-law, okay. 420 00:19:27,429 --> 00:19:31,699 Kept insisting on specific foods she wanted at the wedding and 421 00:19:31,699 --> 00:19:33,469 wouldn't take no for an answer. 422 00:19:33,949 --> 00:19:35,684 They're contributed a hundred dollars to the bar. 423 00:19:35,929 --> 00:19:37,484 They don't have much strings to pull here. 424 00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:43,027 I finally stood my ground and said, it's my name and I can do what I want with it. 425 00:19:43,297 --> 00:19:46,597 And since you're not contributing to the wedding, you don't get a say on food. 426 00:19:47,036 --> 00:19:48,266 Yes, yes, yes. 427 00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:51,755 That didn't go over well, but I was done being pushed around. 428 00:19:52,350 --> 00:19:56,328 We got married in 2000, 2001, just two weeks after nine 11. 429 00:19:56,899 --> 00:20:00,438 So travel was already stressful for my family, who all lived outta state. 430 00:20:00,843 --> 00:20:02,793 My sister Dana arrived with my mom. 431 00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:06,453 My parents are divorced and it's always been tense, and my 432 00:20:06,453 --> 00:20:10,503 older sister, Rachel, my maid of honor, arrived with her husband. 433 00:20:10,951 --> 00:20:14,761 Rachel had told me she booked a hotel suite for the night before 434 00:20:14,761 --> 00:20:16,201 the wedding for the two of us. 435 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,841 Then she and her husband would stay there afterward. 436 00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:23,174 She also booked a separate room for my husband and me the night of the wedding. 437 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,194 That's very nice. 438 00:20:24,900 --> 00:20:27,088 In another room for Dana and my mom. 439 00:20:27,536 --> 00:20:27,566 Okay. 440 00:20:28,165 --> 00:20:30,505 So she's got two sisters, Dana and Rachel. 441 00:20:31,043 --> 00:20:32,393 Parents are divorced. 442 00:20:32,868 --> 00:20:33,108 okay. 443 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:35,718 Rachel is the maid of honor they arrived with. 444 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:37,135 Okay, got it. 445 00:20:37,135 --> 00:20:37,675 Got it, got it. 446 00:20:37,675 --> 00:20:37,945 Okay. 447 00:20:38,095 --> 00:20:41,378 We're getting this, I feel like I'm always learning these new family trees 448 00:20:41,665 --> 00:20:45,475 and then I feel like you guys listening to the Bri all skit and you're like, um, 449 00:20:45,475 --> 00:20:46,795 I don't understand these connections. 450 00:20:47,485 --> 00:20:47,845 I get it. 451 00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:48,925 It's, it's very confusing. 452 00:20:49,465 --> 00:20:49,825 Okay. 453 00:20:50,342 --> 00:20:53,252 The plan was for Rachel to stay with me the night before the wedding while 454 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,022 Dana stayed with my mom and family. 455 00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:57,922 The day before the wedding, Rachel and I were running all over the 456 00:20:57,922 --> 00:20:59,692 city, finishing last minute tasks. 457 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,882 Everything was taking longer than expected. 458 00:21:02,272 --> 00:21:05,602 Meanwhile, my mom and Dana were at my aunt's house about 459 00:21:05,602 --> 00:21:07,282 45 minutes outside the city. 460 00:21:07,672 --> 00:21:10,702 My mom insisted I pick them up later that night so we could 461 00:21:10,702 --> 00:21:11,752 all check the hotel later. 462 00:21:12,743 --> 00:21:17,873 As the day ran late, I asked her to find another ride since we were already behind. 463 00:21:18,473 --> 00:21:19,733 She refused. 464 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:20,980 Wow. 465 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:25,659 I, there's something that drives me so crazy about people running late 466 00:21:25,929 --> 00:21:30,879 for someone else's event, like, can you not get it together for one day? 467 00:21:30,879 --> 00:21:33,669 Especially a mom like you need to get your shit together. 468 00:21:34,402 --> 00:21:35,482 Oh my gosh. 469 00:21:36,172 --> 00:21:41,812 So at 11:00 PM I was driving 45 minutes out of the city to pick them up. 470 00:21:42,202 --> 00:21:42,622 Sorry. 471 00:21:42,952 --> 00:21:44,962 Uh, why is that the bride's problem? 472 00:21:45,052 --> 00:21:48,323 Oh my gosh, that is wild. 473 00:21:48,323 --> 00:21:48,713 Okay. 474 00:21:49,144 --> 00:21:53,764 Loading all of my mom's bags into the car, trying not to ruin my freshly done nails. 475 00:21:53,884 --> 00:21:59,104 And then driving back, we finally get to the hotel around midnight and That's 476 00:21:59,104 --> 00:22:02,344 when I found out Rachel had actually booked the only suite for herself and 477 00:22:02,344 --> 00:22:05,221 her husband and a regular room for me. 478 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:07,156 Oh my gosh. 479 00:22:07,896 --> 00:22:10,411 No, that's, oh, no. 480 00:22:10,411 --> 00:22:11,281 It's so disappointing. 481 00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:11,791 Okay. 482 00:22:12,237 --> 00:22:14,877 At that point, I was too exhausted to even react. 483 00:22:14,877 --> 00:22:19,467 I went to bed the next morning, I went to check into my room and started to get 484 00:22:19,467 --> 00:22:21,927 ready and was told I didn't have one. 485 00:22:22,452 --> 00:22:26,772 Apparently my reservation had been made at their sister hotel 486 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,332 20 minutes outside the city. 487 00:22:28,542 --> 00:22:29,982 How did her sister mess it up though? 488 00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:33,462 Because when you're on making a reservation, you're on the one site, 489 00:22:33,702 --> 00:22:38,262 so unless she added this room later, you could just say, add a second room, 490 00:22:38,262 --> 00:22:39,972 and then it's all billed together. 491 00:22:40,631 --> 00:22:43,211 Apparently my reservation had been made at their sister hotel, 492 00:22:43,211 --> 00:22:44,591 20 minutes outside the city. 493 00:22:44,817 --> 00:22:48,537 While I was trying to fix the situation at the front desk, Dana walked up 494 00:22:48,837 --> 00:22:52,317 mid-conversation and interrupted me and said, I thought you were taking 495 00:22:52,317 --> 00:22:53,667 me to the store to get a Pepsi. 496 00:22:54,027 --> 00:22:54,237 What? 497 00:22:54,777 --> 00:22:56,667 I looked over at her and said, you're older than me. 498 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:59,037 I think you can handle crossing the street to get that one. 499 00:22:59,637 --> 00:23:02,277 Eventually the hotel sorted it out, and I finally got a room. 500 00:23:03,297 --> 00:23:03,957 Oh my gosh. 501 00:23:04,407 --> 00:23:07,647 I went upstairs and started getting ready, trying to relax. 502 00:23:08,007 --> 00:23:10,647 Then it started raining for my outdoor wedding. 503 00:23:10,677 --> 00:23:14,157 I ignored it, hoping it would pass while I was doing my makeup. 504 00:23:14,157 --> 00:23:17,020 I pulled out a new lipstick I had just bought. 505 00:23:17,377 --> 00:23:20,257 Dana walked in and said she loved it and tried to use it. 506 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:23,859 I literally had to take it back from her and explain that. 507 00:23:23,859 --> 00:23:27,219 No, I will not be sharing my lipstick on my wedding day. 508 00:23:27,756 --> 00:23:28,566 Oh my gosh. 509 00:23:28,656 --> 00:23:33,326 Once I was fully dressed, I walked into the room where my mom was expecting 510 00:23:33,326 --> 00:23:34,916 at least some kind of reaction. 511 00:23:35,235 --> 00:23:38,966 Instead, she looked at me and said, you know, weddings are really 512 00:23:38,966 --> 00:23:40,046 about the mother of the bride. 513 00:23:42,081 --> 00:23:42,371 What? 514 00:23:43,376 --> 00:23:44,876 This is actually my day. 515 00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:49,286 I can't believe when people say this is, did this really happen? 516 00:23:50,978 --> 00:23:52,838 Dude, no. 517 00:23:53,198 --> 00:23:55,208 They're really about the mother of the bride. 518 00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:57,188 How full of yourself can you be? 519 00:23:57,985 --> 00:24:00,445 I looked straight at her and said, no, it's not. 520 00:24:00,911 --> 00:24:02,261 She just laughed and walked away. 521 00:24:02,811 --> 00:24:06,208 Thankfully, the rain stopped and we headed to the Boston Common, but when 522 00:24:06,208 --> 00:24:09,775 we arrived, another couple had started setting up a wedding in our exact spot. 523 00:24:10,285 --> 00:24:12,955 My husband showed them our permit, and even though they 524 00:24:12,955 --> 00:24:14,365 admitted they didn't have one. 525 00:24:14,695 --> 00:24:16,585 They just asked for a few minutes. 526 00:24:17,125 --> 00:24:20,185 30 minutes later, we were finally able to start the ceremony. 527 00:24:20,831 --> 00:24:24,131 When it came time for photos, I started noticing everything else. 528 00:24:24,401 --> 00:24:28,715 My father-in-law showed up wearing navy sweatpants in a stained sweatshirt. 529 00:24:29,645 --> 00:24:31,595 Can we now get it together for one day? 530 00:24:31,595 --> 00:24:32,405 People are late. 531 00:24:32,585 --> 00:24:36,455 You're showing up like in your holy, like old Holy, I guess shouldn't say 532 00:24:36,455 --> 00:24:38,781 it was holy, but stained sweatshirt. 533 00:24:39,981 --> 00:24:40,551 Come on. 534 00:24:40,976 --> 00:24:44,756 One of my husband's friends brought a random date he just met earlier. 535 00:24:46,091 --> 00:24:51,106 What, despite not being given a plus one, and she was very clearly not 536 00:24:51,106 --> 00:24:54,663 dressed for the occasion, someone else brought their 11 month old baby 537 00:24:54,663 --> 00:24:58,203 to our child free wedding, which upset my cousin who had followed 538 00:24:58,203 --> 00:24:59,553 the rules and left her kids at home. 539 00:24:59,885 --> 00:25:02,373 That's the thing too, that really sucks when you have a child free 540 00:25:02,373 --> 00:25:05,213 wedding and someone breaks the rules and they're either just 541 00:25:05,213 --> 00:25:07,553 like, allow them or they sneak in. 542 00:25:07,703 --> 00:25:11,463 Then the people who actually did, you know, try to get a babysitter. 543 00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:14,335 Follow the rules, you know, whatever that looks like. 544 00:25:14,395 --> 00:25:16,255 That's disappointing to them. 545 00:25:16,285 --> 00:25:18,745 'cause they're like, well, this person was able to do it. 546 00:25:18,745 --> 00:25:20,845 So follow the rules. 547 00:25:20,845 --> 00:25:25,288 don't be an a-hole at the My mother-in-law began hovering around the waitstaff, 548 00:25:25,288 --> 00:25:30,451 grabbing food of trays off as soon as she, as soon as they came out, At one 549 00:25:30,451 --> 00:25:34,231 point, she literally reached between two guests to take their last appetizer 550 00:25:34,441 --> 00:25:36,011 before one of them could grab it. 551 00:25:37,635 --> 00:25:40,111 Then started stashing the food away instead of eating it. 552 00:25:40,591 --> 00:25:42,361 We eventually had to tell her to stop. 553 00:25:42,788 --> 00:25:45,758 Then my father-in-law looked at me and said, nice dress. 554 00:25:45,908 --> 00:25:47,678 See what a little makeup can do for you. 555 00:25:48,458 --> 00:25:49,148 Gross. 556 00:25:49,178 --> 00:25:49,358 Okay. 557 00:25:49,358 --> 00:25:50,828 This father-in-law is gross. 558 00:25:51,100 --> 00:25:54,155 Why is he making comments about like, You have to change your 559 00:25:54,155 --> 00:25:55,835 last name or just not get married. 560 00:25:56,045 --> 00:25:58,445 You have to do like, he's so gross to me. 561 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:01,865 One of my husband's friends overheard and added, yeah, a nice dress. 562 00:26:01,865 --> 00:26:07,375 It looked even better on the floor while nudging me and laughing. 563 00:26:09,176 --> 00:26:11,006 Immediately excused from the wedding. 564 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,750 Which husband's friend? 565 00:26:12,750 --> 00:26:14,280 Is he still friends with this person? 566 00:26:14,310 --> 00:26:18,583 'cause that's a red flag that would make me so incredibly uncomfortable. 567 00:26:19,140 --> 00:26:22,110 Your husband should not be okay with him being your friend or 568 00:26:22,206 --> 00:26:23,526 with his friend being like that. 569 00:26:24,196 --> 00:26:27,646 Shortly after my cousin handed me her phone and said someone 570 00:26:27,646 --> 00:26:28,936 just wanted to talk to me. 571 00:26:29,446 --> 00:26:33,316 It was her daughters yelling at me for having a kid's free wedding 572 00:26:33,316 --> 00:26:35,026 and calling me a horrible person. 573 00:26:35,936 --> 00:26:36,866 Okay, I get it. 574 00:26:36,866 --> 00:26:40,596 Now, you guys, sometimes you guys will be like, these stories sound fake. 575 00:26:40,626 --> 00:26:42,846 This sounds so like wild. 576 00:26:42,846 --> 00:26:43,476 And I'm not. 577 00:26:43,506 --> 00:26:45,066 Of course, like someone sent this to me. 578 00:26:45,458 --> 00:26:46,626 I'm like, what? 579 00:26:47,295 --> 00:26:50,235 They're gonna hand the phone to a bride and say like, you're horrible. 580 00:26:50,235 --> 00:26:51,195 You didn't invite us. 581 00:26:51,195 --> 00:26:52,525 Like, oh my gosh. 582 00:26:52,525 --> 00:26:54,085 At that point, I was completely drained. 583 00:26:54,655 --> 00:26:57,805 After the reception, we changed and went out to the bar near Fenway. 584 00:26:58,045 --> 00:27:00,205 It was supposed to be the night, just just friends. 585 00:27:00,445 --> 00:27:02,365 But my sister insisted on coming. 586 00:27:02,721 --> 00:27:07,311 My mom complained until I gave in once there, my sister refused to socialize 587 00:27:07,311 --> 00:27:11,091 because she didn't know anyone, so I ended up sitting with her in a corner all night. 588 00:27:11,991 --> 00:27:14,571 Ugh, this makes me so sad for her watching. 589 00:27:14,571 --> 00:27:16,791 My husband and our friends actually enjoy themselves. 590 00:27:17,091 --> 00:27:18,291 Eventually I had enough. 591 00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:21,051 We went back to the hotel and my husband completely exhausted and 592 00:27:21,051 --> 00:27:23,331 drunk, fell asleep almost instantly. 593 00:27:23,931 --> 00:27:27,831 The next day, we were supposed to leave for our honeymoon when we found out. 594 00:27:28,291 --> 00:27:33,721 The war in Afghanistan had just begun and our international flights were canceled. 595 00:27:35,341 --> 00:27:39,691 See, I in 2001, I was in sixth grade, so I don't remember. 596 00:27:40,055 --> 00:27:44,378 I mean, I remember like finding out about the planes hitting the 597 00:27:44,378 --> 00:27:47,558 towers and how terrible and tragic. 598 00:27:47,558 --> 00:27:48,728 I remember being terrified. 599 00:27:48,728 --> 00:27:50,798 I was in sixth grade, we saw it on tv. 600 00:27:50,798 --> 00:27:51,158 Right. 601 00:27:51,645 --> 00:27:53,835 So she doesn't say what month this happens. 602 00:27:54,295 --> 00:27:57,905 and I don't remember, the timeline for this, but I didn't realize that like I 603 00:27:57,905 --> 00:28:03,215 mean, I guess I remember domestic flights getting canceled around nine 11, but wow. 604 00:28:03,215 --> 00:28:06,935 International flights, that takes you back. 605 00:28:06,935 --> 00:28:07,265 Okay. 606 00:28:07,535 --> 00:28:09,425 At that point I just said, forget it. 607 00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:13,175 I rented a car and we drove out west to Utah and Colorado for two weeks. 608 00:28:13,175 --> 00:28:15,605 Instead, I turned my phone off the entire time. 609 00:28:15,875 --> 00:28:16,505 That was smart. 610 00:28:17,075 --> 00:28:20,338 Honestly, I think I enjoyed being away from our families for more, 611 00:28:20,728 --> 00:28:22,648 more than the actual honeymoon. 612 00:28:23,158 --> 00:28:25,978 Well, at least you kind of realized at the end of the day like what meant 613 00:28:25,978 --> 00:28:28,408 most to you, and at least you guys had that great honeymoon together. 614 00:28:28,408 --> 00:28:31,408 But that does suck when there's so many different angles and people 615 00:28:31,408 --> 00:28:32,698 trying to pull away from your day. 616 00:28:33,391 --> 00:28:35,038 Weird, weird comments from people. 617 00:28:35,038 --> 00:28:38,158 I really hope you're not friends with that one guy anymore, or the husband's not. 618 00:28:38,828 --> 00:28:40,538 I could never be around that person again. 619 00:28:40,891 --> 00:28:43,681 and the father-in-law, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 620 00:28:43,681 --> 00:28:47,028 I don't know how you'll deal with that and what did you end up doing 621 00:28:47,028 --> 00:28:50,478 with your last name, I'm guessing, hoping you still hyphenated and don't 622 00:28:50,478 --> 00:28:52,308 let him, convince you otherwise. 623 00:28:52,756 --> 00:28:53,536 but it's really wild. 624 00:28:53,536 --> 00:28:58,150 You know, people comment to comment sometimes, like, well, you're only 625 00:28:58,150 --> 00:28:59,650 getting one person's perspective. 626 00:28:59,650 --> 00:29:01,120 How do you know it's a hundred percent true? 627 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:05,303 And the honest, I mean, honest to God fact is I, I don't know. 628 00:29:05,383 --> 00:29:06,008 I can never know. 629 00:29:06,008 --> 00:29:07,328 People send me stories all the time. 630 00:29:07,328 --> 00:29:11,858 We have like 600 plus right now that we are, we sift through every single week. 631 00:29:12,378 --> 00:29:13,668 and you know, we don't know. 632 00:29:13,668 --> 00:29:17,268 Plus, like when something happens to you, you're gonna view it differently. 633 00:29:17,268 --> 00:29:19,818 Even if you're in the same room as someone, you're gonna view things 634 00:29:19,818 --> 00:29:23,058 differently, tones of voice, how people are standing, like your memory 635 00:29:23,058 --> 00:29:24,228 is just gonna hold differently. 636 00:29:24,438 --> 00:29:27,768 And so when we're only getting it from one perspective, of course some 637 00:29:27,768 --> 00:29:32,281 things are gonna be like, you know, a little more dramatized or you're 638 00:29:32,281 --> 00:29:35,671 gonna add in extra characters that maybe someone else didn't notice. 639 00:29:36,151 --> 00:29:36,451 Um. 640 00:29:36,811 --> 00:29:38,431 At the end of the day, we're all entertained, right? 641 00:29:38,491 --> 00:29:41,401 Um, and I think we can only take them as, you know, entertainment 642 00:29:41,401 --> 00:29:46,111 or lessons for future events or parties or weddings we're at. 643 00:29:46,141 --> 00:29:50,521 Um, don't be, these people don't act that way. 644 00:29:51,194 --> 00:29:52,664 Just support people. 645 00:29:53,184 --> 00:29:56,124 you know, you don't have to spend hundreds and hundreds on a new dress, 646 00:29:56,124 --> 00:29:59,761 but make sure it's not like stain don't, like wasn't something you slept in. 647 00:30:00,363 --> 00:30:02,223 Uh, it's wild. 648 00:30:02,613 --> 00:30:05,703 It's wild that some of these things have to be said out loud, but, you 649 00:30:05,703 --> 00:30:07,323 know, teach their own, I guess. 650 00:30:15,039 --> 00:30:15,429 All right. 651 00:30:15,429 --> 00:30:17,409 Let's get into some confessions today. 652 00:30:17,469 --> 00:30:20,169 We've got a lot going on today, so I should probably get off and get 653 00:30:20,169 --> 00:30:22,517 some skits filmed or something. 654 00:30:22,842 --> 00:30:25,212 Actually, I have to pack, I, this wallpaper has to go away. 655 00:30:25,917 --> 00:30:27,717 Goodbye wallpaper and they don't make it anymore. 656 00:30:27,717 --> 00:30:28,917 So I can't, I don't know. 657 00:30:29,097 --> 00:30:30,297 We'll see what we do at the new place. 658 00:30:30,837 --> 00:30:31,197 Alright. 659 00:30:31,257 --> 00:30:35,687 I was kicked out of the group family photo as the bride because 660 00:30:35,717 --> 00:30:37,187 family only, you know what? 661 00:30:37,517 --> 00:30:40,637 I've heard of this happening a lot and this is again, one of those things 662 00:30:40,637 --> 00:30:44,430 with your relationship and mutual respect because my own wedding, my 663 00:30:44,430 --> 00:30:47,100 husband took a picture with his family. 664 00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:50,100 We obviously took one with all of us, but he took one with his immediate family. 665 00:30:50,100 --> 00:30:51,990 And I'm not offended by that at all. 666 00:30:52,358 --> 00:30:54,698 ' cause I feel like that's important. 667 00:30:54,748 --> 00:30:55,648 that's totally fine. 668 00:30:55,888 --> 00:30:58,738 But it was something deliberately where I was like, pushed out of it and were 669 00:30:58,738 --> 00:30:59,998 like, oh, we need one without her. 670 00:31:00,362 --> 00:31:03,478 But they did those photos separately when I was like, not even out yet. 671 00:31:03,975 --> 00:31:06,315 but again, I would never be offended though if like they were like, oh, 672 00:31:06,315 --> 00:31:08,145 we want a picture with just our kids. 673 00:31:08,625 --> 00:31:10,998 Yeah, those are your kids and you should have a different 674 00:31:10,998 --> 00:31:12,348 relationship with them than me. 675 00:31:13,315 --> 00:31:17,545 Um, right after having my son at the next wedding, the mother 676 00:31:17,545 --> 00:31:19,255 son dance had me bawling. 677 00:31:20,125 --> 00:31:22,891 I could those kind of moments hit way differently. 678 00:31:23,435 --> 00:31:26,225 Even just seeing my husband dance with my daughter now I'm like sobbing. 679 00:31:26,225 --> 00:31:28,895 I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't, especially this week. 680 00:31:28,955 --> 00:31:30,251 Uh uh. 681 00:31:30,281 --> 00:31:31,631 Yeah, those moments just hit differently. 682 00:31:31,631 --> 00:31:35,441 I think once you have kids, seeing my friends get married, happy for them. 683 00:31:35,441 --> 00:31:36,881 But wish I got married too. 684 00:31:37,451 --> 00:31:41,111 Oh, I mean, if that's something you want, hopefully it happens for you. 685 00:31:41,531 --> 00:31:44,958 I know people don't always want that kind of like advice, you know. 686 00:31:45,885 --> 00:31:47,025 Hopefully your time will come. 687 00:31:47,355 --> 00:31:51,448 Um, you know, nothing's a guarantee, but I think like if you are out there 688 00:31:51,448 --> 00:31:53,751 looking for it, your time will come. 689 00:31:53,811 --> 00:31:57,681 And, I hear that a lot from, I've seen that a lot from people too. 690 00:31:57,681 --> 00:32:00,322 It's hard when it seems like all your friends are married and 691 00:32:00,322 --> 00:32:01,732 you're the only one not married. 692 00:32:01,972 --> 00:32:05,692 I was the last of my friends to get married and I was just excited 693 00:32:05,692 --> 00:32:07,012 to support them at that time. 694 00:32:07,012 --> 00:32:09,382 And I knew, you know, my time would come eventually. 695 00:32:10,518 --> 00:32:13,218 so for these confessions, I totally forgot to say this, it's 696 00:32:13,218 --> 00:32:16,998 a moment you cried privately at your or someone else's wedding. 697 00:32:17,625 --> 00:32:22,168 I was postpartum and cried at the mother Sundance because I visualized my future. 698 00:32:22,198 --> 00:32:22,348 Okay. 699 00:32:22,348 --> 00:32:22,918 There's another one. 700 00:32:23,608 --> 00:32:26,578 When I signed the last time with my birth name. 701 00:32:26,638 --> 00:32:27,658 Oh wow. 702 00:32:28,078 --> 00:32:29,278 I still feel weird. 703 00:32:29,278 --> 00:32:32,428 I've been married four years and I still feel weird signing my new last name. 704 00:32:32,938 --> 00:32:34,348 I still call it my new last name. 705 00:32:34,528 --> 00:32:36,838 I remember saying it to someone and she was like, oh, did you just get married? 706 00:32:36,838 --> 00:32:41,548 And I'm like, no, it's been years and I still like, it's so weird to me. 707 00:32:41,608 --> 00:32:46,378 Like I forget all the time a friend's wedding with all the people from our 708 00:32:46,378 --> 00:32:48,898 squad, except one guy, my fiance. 709 00:32:49,758 --> 00:32:50,178 Okay. 710 00:32:50,379 --> 00:32:55,779 Um, my friend looked, my first look with my dad told me it was too late 711 00:32:55,779 --> 00:32:58,449 to change anything now, and I do. 712 00:32:59,089 --> 00:33:01,219 Your dad said it was too late to change anything now. 713 00:33:02,013 --> 00:33:02,283 Oh. 714 00:33:02,283 --> 00:33:03,153 Like in a good way. 715 00:33:03,153 --> 00:33:04,263 Like, okay, we're here. 716 00:33:04,263 --> 00:33:07,186 Like, just enjoy the day on the cake cutting. 717 00:33:07,216 --> 00:33:11,011 When my husband smashed cake all over my face, I cried during cleanup. 718 00:33:11,071 --> 00:33:11,911 Immediate divorce. 719 00:33:12,001 --> 00:33:12,781 Immediate divorce. 720 00:33:13,081 --> 00:33:16,148 No, it's not cool to smash cake on your. 721 00:33:16,493 --> 00:33:19,073 Partner face It's just not, I don't care. 722 00:33:19,613 --> 00:33:20,123 It's just not. 723 00:33:20,876 --> 00:33:21,236 All right guys. 724 00:33:21,236 --> 00:33:22,166 That's all I have for this week. 725 00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:22,976 Thanks for hanging out with me. 726 00:33:22,976 --> 00:33:24,326 Thanks for letting me be vulnerable. 727 00:33:24,326 --> 00:33:25,916 I can't believe I cried on this episode. 728 00:33:26,350 --> 00:33:27,970 hopefully that doesn't happen again. 729 00:33:27,970 --> 00:33:30,250 Hopefully you guys wanna still visit me next week. 730 00:33:30,740 --> 00:33:32,160 but yeah, let's going on. 731 00:33:32,220 --> 00:33:33,540 Hopefully I don't drive myself crazy. 732 00:33:33,540 --> 00:33:35,553 And thanks for being here. 733 00:33:35,733 --> 00:33:36,123 Bye now.