1 00:00:00,553 --> 00:00:00,853 All right. 2 00:00:00,853 --> 00:00:05,473 We're gonna go through what I consider to be the 10 signs that you may 3 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:08,293 possibly have hired the wrong attorney. 4 00:00:08,293 --> 00:00:12,433 Now, first and foremost, let me just tell you, this is not legal advice. 5 00:00:12,433 --> 00:00:15,950 Don't watch this and be like, oh, I'm, running, I'm firing my attorney tomorrow. 6 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,075 Whoa. 7 00:00:17,135 --> 00:00:18,215 Stop real quick. 8 00:00:18,275 --> 00:00:18,665 Okay. 9 00:00:18,995 --> 00:00:23,105 Hiring the wrong attorney can cost you money, time, peace of mind, 10 00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:25,415 and sometimes your whole strategy. 11 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:26,790 but I'm not here to tell you. 12 00:00:26,790 --> 00:00:30,527 I just want you to think about your attorney, your relationship, what's 13 00:00:30,527 --> 00:00:35,687 happening, and just use some of these as maybe examples to ask your circle of 14 00:00:35,687 --> 00:00:37,277 people, am I making the right choice? 15 00:00:37,277 --> 00:00:41,390 So a lot of people stay with the wrong attorney way too long. 16 00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:47,784 Way, way, way too long because they feel stuck or this taboo thing where 17 00:00:47,784 --> 00:00:52,974 they think that they've been told that it looks bad to change attorneys. 18 00:00:54,159 --> 00:00:58,149 I don't know about you, but I don't know if looking bad is higher on my 19 00:00:58,149 --> 00:01:03,009 list than keeping my own kids or having the schedule that I want, or having 20 00:01:03,009 --> 00:01:06,176 the parenting plan that I want, or getting half of the assets, keeping 21 00:01:06,176 --> 00:01:08,006 the home, uh, keeping my retirement. 22 00:01:08,273 --> 00:01:11,693 So if my attorney is not giving me that energy, that they're gonna 23 00:01:11,693 --> 00:01:17,363 go get those things, how it looks to a judge or my ex or co-counsel, 24 00:01:17,363 --> 00:01:18,473 I could give two fucks about. 25 00:01:19,028 --> 00:01:22,328 Okay, so you're not gonna hear me ever say, oh, keep an attorney 26 00:01:22,328 --> 00:01:24,308 because I don't want it to look bad. 27 00:01:24,878 --> 00:01:27,698 This is the girl that changed obs, eight months pregnant. 28 00:01:27,848 --> 00:01:32,444 So you are not gonna hear me say stay because of appearance. 29 00:01:32,624 --> 00:01:33,104 All right? 30 00:01:33,104 --> 00:01:34,364 So let's break these down. 31 00:01:34,364 --> 00:01:35,774 We're gonna run through these pretty quickly. 32 00:01:35,774 --> 00:01:37,124 I don't wanna keep you too long. 33 00:01:37,124 --> 00:01:40,094 I know you're busy being a single parent, struggling through 34 00:01:40,094 --> 00:01:41,114 a divorce, but here we go. 35 00:01:41,439 --> 00:01:42,824 Number one, they don't respond to you. 36 00:01:43,678 --> 00:01:46,828 Now you're hired this person and you paid them an ass load of money. 37 00:01:47,423 --> 00:01:48,563 And they don't call you back. 38 00:01:49,223 --> 00:01:49,706 They don't. 39 00:01:49,706 --> 00:01:51,116 return phone calls. 40 00:01:51,683 --> 00:01:56,973 What emails go unanswered, like days and weeks go by. 41 00:01:57,453 --> 00:02:02,273 Communication is literally one of the critical, most important things for 42 00:02:02,273 --> 00:02:07,629 this relationship to work between client and attorney, because we don't have 43 00:02:07,629 --> 00:02:14,663 regular weekly meet and appointments, but we do have email and phone calls. 44 00:02:15,293 --> 00:02:17,723 Which by the way, I would never just leave a voicemail. 45 00:02:17,723 --> 00:02:22,703 I would always follow up on email and say, Hey, you know, it is, uh, four 18 46 00:02:22,703 --> 00:02:25,643 at one 20 in the afternoon, central time. 47 00:02:25,955 --> 00:02:28,973 I just left you a voicemail regarding these three things. 48 00:02:28,973 --> 00:02:31,733 I would like a phone call back by the end of business day, Friday 49 00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:33,863 at the latest on next steps. 50 00:02:34,609 --> 00:02:34,879 Boom. 51 00:02:35,441 --> 00:02:39,274 but not calling you back, but again, this is something I asked in the interview 52 00:02:39,274 --> 00:02:42,368 process of what is the response time? 53 00:02:42,603 --> 00:02:44,858 What is their communication point of preference? 54 00:02:44,858 --> 00:02:46,718 Do you have their text, do you have email? 55 00:02:46,718 --> 00:02:48,998 Do you like, how do they communicate? 56 00:02:49,246 --> 00:02:49,808 Number two. 57 00:02:50,459 --> 00:02:54,229 They don't seem prepared at hearings, and I thought this one was like 58 00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:56,646 a once in a while type of case. 59 00:02:56,736 --> 00:02:57,306 It's not. 60 00:02:57,814 --> 00:03:05,259 I have so many clients who call me after their status hearing or after a motion or 61 00:03:05,259 --> 00:03:10,366 a contempt hearing, and they're like, Sam, it's like, they didn't even know my name. 62 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:13,546 It's like they were, I had one client who got represented. 63 00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:17,001 By their attorney and their attorney thought they were somebody else 64 00:03:17,301 --> 00:03:18,621 and represented a whole case. 65 00:03:18,621 --> 00:03:20,181 That wasn't even my client's case. 66 00:03:20,781 --> 00:03:23,331 And at the end of it, she was like, what the fuck was that? 67 00:03:23,633 --> 00:03:25,135 And he was like, well, I don't know. 68 00:03:25,165 --> 00:03:26,215 You know Lindsay? 69 00:03:26,215 --> 00:03:29,455 And she was like, Lindsay, I'm fucking Rebecca. 70 00:03:29,848 --> 00:03:31,528 What are you talking about, Lindsey? 71 00:03:31,918 --> 00:03:33,748 And he was like, mortified. 72 00:03:33,748 --> 00:03:35,968 And he had got the files like switched. 73 00:03:37,048 --> 00:03:37,708 What the fuck? 74 00:03:38,025 --> 00:03:40,095 It's kinda like that guy that just took off the wrong organ. 75 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:43,425 Like, Hey, let's do a little pregame here and talk about left 76 00:03:43,425 --> 00:03:44,415 side or right side of the body. 77 00:03:44,415 --> 00:03:45,795 Which one are we starting on? 78 00:03:45,795 --> 00:03:47,805 Hey, let's talk about Lindsay or Rebecca. 79 00:03:47,805 --> 00:03:49,575 Which one do we have going on here? 80 00:03:50,085 --> 00:03:53,055 We have to make sure, and I know attorneys are busy. 81 00:03:53,355 --> 00:03:54,075 I get it. 82 00:03:54,075 --> 00:03:55,365 We all are though. 83 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:56,505 We're all busy. 84 00:03:57,015 --> 00:04:03,045 But you not doing what you said you were gonna do in a hearing and flipping and 85 00:04:03,045 --> 00:04:06,145 not, doing the strategy that we said. 86 00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,660 What the heck? 87 00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:11,440 Attorneys should know your case before you walk into the courtroom. 88 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:16,060 So if you are not meeting at your attorney's office or in a room in the 89 00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:19,690 courthouse before your hearing, I don't care if it's a small little status 90 00:04:19,690 --> 00:04:23,410 hearing, I don't care if it's a little, small, little motion or a small little. 91 00:04:23,710 --> 00:04:25,450 Don't make them think that it's a small thing. 92 00:04:25,450 --> 00:04:27,730 I'll just meet you there and we'll walk right in together. 93 00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:28,115 Uhuh, uh uh. 94 00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:32,357 You go back out to that little, small little room right outside the courtroom 95 00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:35,297 and you make them open the file, you make sure they have the right file. 96 00:04:35,297 --> 00:04:38,807 You ask them what again are, did we determine what again, did we agree to? 97 00:04:38,807 --> 00:04:40,517 What again are you going to push for me? 98 00:04:40,517 --> 00:04:42,347 What again are you gonna strategize for? 99 00:04:43,196 --> 00:04:47,541 Don't let them act like small little hearings are just something that 100 00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:49,731 they can walk into and handle, right? 101 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:53,470 So you make sure, but if they're walking in and not prepared. 102 00:04:53,935 --> 00:04:57,235 Adios because how they prepare for the small hearings is how they're 103 00:04:57,235 --> 00:04:58,435 gonna prepare for the big ones. 104 00:04:58,855 --> 00:04:59,695 All right, number three. 105 00:05:00,210 --> 00:05:04,565 They push generic parenting plan templates, and this one is why 106 00:05:04,565 --> 00:05:09,545 attorneys hate my guts is because I'm saying make a custom parenting plan. 107 00:05:09,545 --> 00:05:11,885 Make a detailed parenting plan, make a detailed parenting plan 108 00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:13,572 that ages up with your children. 109 00:05:13,799 --> 00:05:16,182 And again, you guys, I wouldn't have a business if this didn't work. 110 00:05:16,453 --> 00:05:19,212 People are using them, people are getting them approved by judges, 111 00:05:19,212 --> 00:05:20,922 attorney's offices are using them. 112 00:05:20,922 --> 00:05:22,937 I'm giving attorneys permission to use my plan. 113 00:05:23,662 --> 00:05:28,212 This is a thing, but the attorney that just wants to push the template with no 114 00:05:28,212 --> 00:05:33,549 customization, no strategy is a Larry, the lawyer that wants you to come back 115 00:05:33,549 --> 00:05:36,309 and give them money forever, sorry. 116 00:05:36,429 --> 00:05:37,299 It is what it is. 117 00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:41,169 The templates are gonna create problems down the road and Larry knows 118 00:05:41,169 --> 00:05:44,619 that, and he wants you to buy into it so that you keep his lights on. 119 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:45,899 That's what that is. 120 00:05:46,143 --> 00:05:48,959 So any attorney that's pushing those generic things and saying, 121 00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:50,669 oh, it is just a template. 122 00:05:50,669 --> 00:05:51,719 every couple uses it. 123 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,789 The couple before you with the same two kids. 124 00:05:53,789 --> 00:05:54,989 No, it's not the same two kids. 125 00:05:55,499 --> 00:06:00,276 It's not 'cause my kid has a DHD and the other kid has, uh, medical condition. 126 00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:02,646 So unless those two kids had the exact same thing, this is 127 00:06:02,646 --> 00:06:03,606 not the same parenting plan. 128 00:06:03,786 --> 00:06:06,426 So why am I using a template that that family used on my family? 129 00:06:06,456 --> 00:06:07,086 It's not the same. 130 00:06:07,546 --> 00:06:10,326 Number four, they don't explain their strategy. 131 00:06:10,386 --> 00:06:11,736 They say things like, trust me. 132 00:06:12,321 --> 00:06:13,731 I've had a case like this before. 133 00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,591 Have you the exact same case? 134 00:06:15,921 --> 00:06:19,171 Oh, you've divorced somebody that has a, personality disorder. 135 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:21,301 You've divorced somebody that's a single parent, you've divorced 136 00:06:21,331 --> 00:06:25,171 somebody that has three children, two of which were from a donor egg. 137 00:06:25,171 --> 00:06:29,131 Like there's so much difference in each case. 138 00:06:29,491 --> 00:06:32,311 Don't let somebody say, oh, I've had a case just like this, 139 00:06:32,791 --> 00:06:34,171 the exact same case, Larry. 140 00:06:34,231 --> 00:06:38,401 I doubt it, but when they don't explain their strategy to you. 141 00:06:38,946 --> 00:06:43,296 Why this is your future that they're bargaining on, that they're talking 142 00:06:43,296 --> 00:06:44,616 for, that they're negotiating. 143 00:06:45,186 --> 00:06:46,506 You need to know what the risks are. 144 00:06:46,926 --> 00:06:48,756 You need to know what decisions they're leading with. 145 00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:51,546 Are they gonna try to get you sole decision making or are 146 00:06:51,546 --> 00:06:52,596 they walking in with joint? 147 00:06:52,596 --> 00:06:55,776 Why do you not know that they can't keep stuff from you? 148 00:06:55,781 --> 00:06:57,276 This is your case. 149 00:06:57,276 --> 00:06:59,819 Your name is the name at the end of the day, here's the thing 150 00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:01,049 that nobody really talks about. 151 00:07:01,739 --> 00:07:03,179 You are the one signing. 152 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:05,866 You are the one signing the judge's orders. 153 00:07:06,484 --> 00:07:10,991 Not your attorney, their signatures nowhere on this guys, but they act 154 00:07:10,991 --> 00:07:13,331 like they are the end all, be all. 155 00:07:13,331 --> 00:07:17,771 And what they say goes, no, my ass is the one that'll be in trouble in the future. 156 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,511 My ass is the one that has to follow this plan. 157 00:07:19,511 --> 00:07:21,791 My ass is the one that has to pay that money, not your ass. 158 00:07:22,091 --> 00:07:25,631 So how about I understand everything, but a lot of 159 00:07:25,631 --> 00:07:26,621 attorneys don't wanna talk to you. 160 00:07:26,711 --> 00:07:28,901 They don't wanna dumb it down or they don't wanna waste the time. 161 00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:31,331 Hence why my job is important to educate you. 162 00:07:31,736 --> 00:07:33,579 All right, number five. 163 00:07:34,011 --> 00:07:35,109 They're always rushing you. 164 00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:37,613 Well, I have a meeting to get to, well, I have court to get to. 165 00:07:37,643 --> 00:07:39,953 Uh, hey, I only got like five minutes to talk to you. 166 00:07:40,583 --> 00:07:42,863 That's an attorney that's in it for the wrong reason. 167 00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:45,233 And maybe you are taking on too many clients and maybe 168 00:07:45,233 --> 00:07:46,403 you are that fucking busy. 169 00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:49,223 That probably shouldn't have been the office that I picked because I 170 00:07:49,223 --> 00:07:52,673 wanted to have my handheld, I wanted to have some care and some attention, 171 00:07:52,733 --> 00:07:54,083 and I wanna have some patients. 172 00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:58,298 So any attorney that's rushing you around and makes you feel like you're 173 00:07:58,298 --> 00:08:03,488 not important or dismissing you or just putting you awful lot or like, hurry up 174 00:08:03,488 --> 00:08:05,411 rush, dude, my anxiety can't handle that. 175 00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:09,111 if I'm just a number to you, why did I hire you? 176 00:08:09,648 --> 00:08:12,978 So really be thinking about if that feeling of somebody not having 177 00:08:12,978 --> 00:08:15,053 time for you, is that who you want? 178 00:08:16,068 --> 00:08:19,398 Representing you, somebody that just rushes you through things. 179 00:08:19,828 --> 00:08:23,988 Number six, they encourage unnecessary conflict. 180 00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:26,574 Mm Oh, we'll file for that. 181 00:08:26,694 --> 00:08:27,054 Oh, yeah. 182 00:08:27,054 --> 00:08:28,104 We'll, put that together. 183 00:08:28,164 --> 00:08:30,354 Oh, yeah, I, I'm gonna put a cover letter on that. 184 00:08:30,354 --> 00:08:33,204 And then they just cause all kinds of conflict. 185 00:08:33,729 --> 00:08:36,309 I hope your attorney's, not of that attorney, but I guarantee the high 186 00:08:36,309 --> 00:08:41,019 conflict attorney hired somebody that's like that where their cover letters, which 187 00:08:41,019 --> 00:08:45,489 this is a little bit of t you guys should know, cover letters are only between 188 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:48,129 attorneys, and I call them the soap opera. 189 00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:51,939 They are a soap opera episode in word form. 190 00:08:52,059 --> 00:08:55,059 That's all that is, is them trying to rattle you when 191 00:08:55,059 --> 00:08:56,319 you read that cover letter. 192 00:08:56,319 --> 00:08:57,579 So perfect example. 193 00:08:57,858 --> 00:09:02,621 If I have a concern about the children not wearing their seatbelt and being 194 00:09:02,621 --> 00:09:07,241 seen in the front seat of a pickup truck, and I send that over to my 195 00:09:07,241 --> 00:09:10,661 ex's attorney, my lawyer's gonna write a cover letter on that, that could 196 00:09:10,661 --> 00:09:13,721 say something like, Hey, mother is concerned about the children's safety. 197 00:09:14,311 --> 00:09:17,761 Riding in the front seat of a pickup truck under the age of this, and 198 00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:18,901 they didn't have seat belts on. 199 00:09:18,901 --> 00:09:21,398 know, please tell your client to do better. 200 00:09:21,398 --> 00:09:24,158 We're attaching a modification to the parenting plan that requires 201 00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:26,258 the children to be in safety seats, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 202 00:09:26,258 --> 00:09:30,655 Anyways, that would be what my attorney would say, a high conflict attorney. 203 00:09:31,010 --> 00:09:36,140 Who's being aggressive would say something like, to the extreme of 204 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,060 your client is gonna go to jail. 205 00:09:38,060 --> 00:09:42,806 If they continue to have the children ride in the front seat, if we catch them 206 00:09:42,806 --> 00:09:46,807 again without a seatbelt on, they're gonna be pulled over immediately, have custody 207 00:09:46,807 --> 00:09:48,997 taken away, have visitation taken away. 208 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:52,147 They will never have holidays again, like a huge threatening letter to where when 209 00:09:52,147 --> 00:09:53,527 you read that, you're like, oh my gosh. 210 00:09:53,797 --> 00:09:56,527 We were literally moving a couch from the neighbor's house to this house, and 211 00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:57,817 it was only like a half a block, but. 212 00:09:58,177 --> 00:09:58,867 Holy shit. 213 00:09:58,867 --> 00:10:00,577 Like it just escalates things. 214 00:10:00,877 --> 00:10:05,677 So when your attorney's making these big, over the top exaggerating letters 215 00:10:05,707 --> 00:10:09,007 or everything is a conflict, and saying, well, I'll file a motion for that. 216 00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:09,577 I'll do that. 217 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:12,787 Unnecessary court battles that they're not even trying. 218 00:10:13,297 --> 00:10:16,657 To work with the other side and talk it out or compromise. 219 00:10:16,842 --> 00:10:19,812 Um, I had an example where a client had a vacation planned across 220 00:10:19,812 --> 00:10:24,042 seas, passports were involved, huge tickets, multiple flights, all that. 221 00:10:24,384 --> 00:10:27,922 And instead of talking it out with the attorneys, just filed, a motion 222 00:10:27,922 --> 00:10:32,115 with the court costing her so much more money, where the other side 223 00:10:32,175 --> 00:10:33,615 just wanted a simple itinerary. 224 00:10:33,945 --> 00:10:36,945 And so now we filed court fees, we have attorney fees and all this 225 00:10:36,945 --> 00:10:39,585 stuff when the other side just wanted an itinerary of flights. 226 00:10:40,404 --> 00:10:42,495 And so it could have been worked out between attorneys, but her 227 00:10:42,495 --> 00:10:43,665 attorney wanted to spend more money. 228 00:10:43,995 --> 00:10:47,085 So these are just some examples for you to get your brain thinking about 229 00:10:47,085 --> 00:10:48,615 is your attorney the right fit for you? 230 00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:50,835 Number seven, they just don't listen to you. 231 00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:54,285 You know your kids, your schedule and your co-parent and you want the 232 00:10:54,285 --> 00:10:57,315 specific, you portion of the parenting plan written this way, and they're 233 00:10:57,315 --> 00:10:59,445 just like, Nope, we don't do that. 234 00:10:59,625 --> 00:11:01,035 A judge won't say yes to that. 235 00:11:01,035 --> 00:11:01,785 We're not doing that. 236 00:11:01,785 --> 00:11:02,445 We're not doing that. 237 00:11:02,445 --> 00:11:06,975 And my counter to that, always you guys, is what's been going into 238 00:11:06,975 --> 00:11:08,235 parenting plans isn't working. 239 00:11:09,285 --> 00:11:10,455 Can we just call a spade a spade? 240 00:11:10,882 --> 00:11:14,522 The templates that they've used for years aren't working. 241 00:11:15,002 --> 00:11:18,449 The ones that judges pass down aren't working. 242 00:11:18,696 --> 00:11:19,349 Otherwise. 243 00:11:19,349 --> 00:11:21,059 Why are modifications on the rise? 244 00:11:21,269 --> 00:11:22,739 Why are people getting hurt? 245 00:11:22,919 --> 00:11:24,899 Why are kids being taken out of homes? 246 00:11:25,049 --> 00:11:26,279 These parenting plans suck. 247 00:11:26,849 --> 00:11:29,969 So when your attorney doesn't listen to you about a stipulation that you want, 248 00:11:30,029 --> 00:11:31,589 remember they don't know your kids. 249 00:11:31,589 --> 00:11:33,689 They don't know your ex, they don't know your situation. 250 00:11:33,689 --> 00:11:35,969 They're just trying to pass you through as fast as they can and take 251 00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:37,469 as much money outta the situation. 252 00:11:37,748 --> 00:11:41,579 So if you're not being heard and listened to by somebody that you're 253 00:11:41,579 --> 00:11:46,954 not paying $5 to, but $5,000 to, why are you working with this person? 254 00:11:47,820 --> 00:11:48,660 Nowhere else. 255 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:53,614 If you went to a dentist office and you gave them $5,000 to do some severe 256 00:11:53,614 --> 00:11:58,117 dental work and all they did was polish your teeth and call it a cleaning, 257 00:11:58,554 --> 00:12:03,174 would you still be giving them $5,000 next month to do the same protocol? 258 00:12:03,324 --> 00:12:03,924 No. 259 00:12:04,284 --> 00:12:07,044 You would jump ship and go to a different dentist's office. 260 00:12:07,478 --> 00:12:07,944 Why? 261 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:12,324 With attorneys, when somebody doesn't listen to what we want, do we stay? 262 00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:13,460 I don't know. 263 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:16,220 It kind of sounds like our fucking trauma bond with our ex, doesn't it? 264 00:12:16,850 --> 00:12:20,570 We stayed beyond the time that we should have, and here we are not 265 00:12:20,570 --> 00:12:22,490 completely out of our trauma bond. 266 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:28,190 Guess who knows that our attorneys and they still abuse us with these threats 267 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,620 or that they know better or this or that. 268 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,050 And I'm not saying they don't know better about some things 269 00:12:33,530 --> 00:12:35,510 when it comes to the law. 270 00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:39,290 But emotional bell, we being and psychological warfare, they know 271 00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:41,600 nothing about because that's not what their certificate is in. 272 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:42,710 That's not what their degree is in. 273 00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:45,230 So don't let them tell you that they do because they don't, they've experienced 274 00:12:45,230 --> 00:12:47,960 it, they've witnessed it, they've heard people, go through it, but they have 275 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,960 not been trained on how to do that. 276 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,850 So when they tell you, oh, that's not important. 277 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:54,590 Oh, that, I'm sorry. 278 00:12:54,897 --> 00:12:58,167 Are you gonna be living my life with me post divorced? 279 00:12:58,167 --> 00:12:59,697 Are you signing this parenting plan? 280 00:12:59,935 --> 00:13:02,697 Oh, by the way, if you fuck this up now for me. 281 00:13:02,697 --> 00:13:04,587 Are you representing me free later? 282 00:13:04,647 --> 00:13:05,097 No. 283 00:13:05,907 --> 00:13:06,717 No, they're not. 284 00:13:07,497 --> 00:13:11,247 So why am I letting them make me feel that way? 285 00:13:11,727 --> 00:13:14,427 Now again, this whole podcast isn't about jump ship, you 286 00:13:14,427 --> 00:13:15,687 know, and leave your attorney. 287 00:13:16,017 --> 00:13:18,897 You never leave an attorney without another attorney already in backup. 288 00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:23,062 Right, so I'm not firing my dentist till I already have a new dentist. 289 00:13:23,902 --> 00:13:26,977 You know, I'm not selling my car till I already have a car, right? 290 00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:28,807 I mean, we have to have a plan for next steps. 291 00:13:28,807 --> 00:13:29,707 We can't go without a car. 292 00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:30,877 We can't go without a dentist. 293 00:13:30,877 --> 00:13:32,167 Like we can't go without a lawyer. 294 00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:33,547 The same thing is true here. 295 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:37,114 Now, number eight, they're uncomfortable with you being 296 00:13:37,114 --> 00:13:42,059 prepared, and we did a whole episode about this, but man, attorneys that 297 00:13:42,059 --> 00:13:44,039 don't like it when you have notes. 298 00:13:44,595 --> 00:13:49,214 Or you have questions, or God forbid you bring a parenting plan already 299 00:13:49,214 --> 00:13:51,704 written to them and they don't like it. 300 00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,998 Ooh, they get their panties in a bunch 'cause their ego 301 00:13:54,998 --> 00:13:57,248 just got hurt or their wallet. 302 00:13:57,518 --> 00:13:59,618 I'm not sure which, but it's one if not both. 303 00:14:00,438 --> 00:14:04,128 Now we have had tons of attorneys inside the next chapter. 304 00:14:04,638 --> 00:14:06,858 I'm gonna start having attorneys on my podcast. 305 00:14:06,858 --> 00:14:12,288 I have been on, I can't even tell you how many podcasts of attorneys. 306 00:14:12,888 --> 00:14:16,188 Who know my parenting plan, who have seen my parenting plan, who love my 307 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:20,465 parenting plan, and who use my parenting plan in all the states because they 308 00:14:20,465 --> 00:14:23,135 see that I have fixed a problem. 309 00:14:23,435 --> 00:14:26,405 They see that I have put details into protect their client. 310 00:14:26,435 --> 00:14:29,075 They see that my parenting plan is measurable. 311 00:14:29,195 --> 00:14:31,895 They see that my parenting plan can be seen by a judge and go, 312 00:14:32,015 --> 00:14:33,065 oh, well here's what it said. 313 00:14:33,065 --> 00:14:33,665 What did they do? 314 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:35,165 Well, that's not even close to what this says. 315 00:14:35,255 --> 00:14:36,185 They're in failure. 316 00:14:36,455 --> 00:14:37,355 They're in contempt. 317 00:14:37,535 --> 00:14:38,465 Here's their fine. 318 00:14:39,215 --> 00:14:42,905 Versus when a parenting plan is written really vague, well, it 319 00:14:42,905 --> 00:14:45,455 leaves the door wide open for attorneys to be involved forever. 320 00:14:46,236 --> 00:14:51,803 So that might be why your attorney's uncomfortable with you being prepared. 321 00:14:51,803 --> 00:14:54,113 Now, I know what every attorney listening this is gonna say. 322 00:14:54,143 --> 00:14:57,860 That's not it, Sam, that's you giving them false hope. 323 00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:58,970 That's what we're worried about. 324 00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:02,030 We're worried that you're overed educating them the wrong direction. 325 00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:04,580 We're worried that you're educating them and it's wrong for their case. 326 00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:07,520 We're worried that you're giving them ideas that they can't have in their case. 327 00:15:08,573 --> 00:15:12,514 I'm here to tell you attorneys, not what I'm doing and everything that I 328 00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:16,684 teach and everything that I have for sale is all about working for them, 329 00:15:16,684 --> 00:15:20,554 for their future and their children and their post-divorce journey. 330 00:15:20,554 --> 00:15:24,814 As a single parent, it's all about putting it all on the table and picking off what 331 00:15:24,814 --> 00:15:28,384 they think they need and what they want, and then it's your job to go get it. 332 00:15:28,954 --> 00:15:32,788 But a parent should have the right to know everything's on the table. 333 00:15:33,417 --> 00:15:35,007 Everything is on the table. 334 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,152 Until it doesn't fit their case. 335 00:15:38,112 --> 00:15:40,422 So a lot of parents come to me and they say, well, I wish I would've known that. 336 00:15:40,422 --> 00:15:41,502 I didn't even know that was an option. 337 00:15:41,982 --> 00:15:43,542 Do you know how much that hurts to know that? 338 00:15:43,962 --> 00:15:46,362 That no one told them that was an option? 339 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,502 It was an option to have times wrote into their holiday schedule. 340 00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:55,572 It's an option to go into detail about what financial decisions need to be 341 00:15:55,572 --> 00:15:59,802 made for extracurriculars, or it's an option to know who gets to take 342 00:15:59,802 --> 00:16:01,482 their child to the dentist every year. 343 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:03,597 If that was an option you could have put in. 344 00:16:03,627 --> 00:16:05,127 Yeah, it is an option you could put in. 345 00:16:05,570 --> 00:16:05,840 Yep. 346 00:16:05,900 --> 00:16:07,940 But some attorneys don't want you to have that option wrote in there 347 00:16:07,940 --> 00:16:11,000 because they want you to have to call them every time there's a problem 348 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:12,597 or something that was left out. 349 00:16:13,227 --> 00:16:13,857 Think about it. 350 00:16:14,067 --> 00:16:17,307 It is a business, a billion dollar business every year. 351 00:16:17,427 --> 00:16:20,075 Number nine, billing gets outta control. 352 00:16:20,885 --> 00:16:24,695 I know people that have put a retainer, myself included, $10,000 and within 353 00:16:24,695 --> 00:16:28,955 three months it was gone and I'm like, whoa, nothing has happened In our case. 354 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:30,410 Where did that money go? 355 00:16:30,582 --> 00:16:31,782 There's been no determination. 356 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:32,652 There's been no court date. 357 00:16:32,652 --> 00:16:35,142 There's been nothing where the fuck did $10,000 go? 358 00:16:35,899 --> 00:16:41,899 So unexplained charges, constant billing, surprised, no clarity on timing of where 359 00:16:41,899 --> 00:16:43,909 that came from and how that was spent. 360 00:16:44,408 --> 00:16:48,278 So when legal costs get out of control, number one, you should 361 00:16:48,283 --> 00:16:49,643 be asking for an itemized bill. 362 00:16:50,528 --> 00:16:53,348 Number two, you should be keeping track of every single thing that 363 00:16:53,348 --> 00:16:56,168 happens in your case with your attorney so that you can cross-reference it 364 00:16:56,168 --> 00:16:58,598 with your line item bill that you should be getting from your attorney. 365 00:16:58,988 --> 00:17:02,726 And I'm gonna tell you, there is a lot of times stuff gets put on 366 00:17:02,726 --> 00:17:04,016 your bill that wasn't your bill. 367 00:17:04,016 --> 00:17:09,892 Remember Rebecca and Lindsay, their bills can be mixed up real easily when Larry 368 00:17:09,892 --> 00:17:14,902 just goes, Hey, uh, Rebecca called, I talked to her for 45 minutes, put that 369 00:17:14,902 --> 00:17:17,002 on her bill when really it was Lindsay. 370 00:17:18,007 --> 00:17:19,687 Now Rebecca has Lindsay's bill. 371 00:17:20,137 --> 00:17:23,497 That shit happens all the time. 372 00:17:24,243 --> 00:17:27,333 And so please make sure you're looking at your bills accordingly. 373 00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:31,878 And if your office hear me when I say this, if your attorney's office is 374 00:17:31,878 --> 00:17:36,755 a one man show, I'll be paying extra hard attention to that bill because 375 00:17:36,755 --> 00:17:40,985 that attorney's trying to save costs by being their secretary, their own 376 00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:45,246 paralegal, their own lawyer, and their own billing, and their own HR department. 377 00:17:45,678 --> 00:17:49,608 They're trying to do all the jobs of an office that does have those five 378 00:17:49,608 --> 00:17:51,618 positions filled by five different humans. 379 00:17:52,548 --> 00:17:57,288 And so be very careful about cutting corners in a one man show office, that 380 00:17:57,288 --> 00:18:00,078 they're the ones answering the phones, writing the motions, doing the court 381 00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:03,709 dates, but also doing billing, and they're the only person you can call. 382 00:18:03,709 --> 00:18:04,759 There's no HR department. 383 00:18:05,770 --> 00:18:07,210 You've been warned, number 10. 384 00:18:07,783 --> 00:18:09,103 You constantly just feel uneasy around them. 385 00:18:09,928 --> 00:18:13,387 Now again, I am all for picking the attorneys, the living shit 386 00:18:13,387 --> 00:18:16,249 out of your ex. But they shouldn't intimidate the shit outta you. 387 00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,559 And now I'm not saying you be friends with your attorney. 388 00:18:19,039 --> 00:18:19,609 10 outta 10. 389 00:18:19,609 --> 00:18:20,329 Don't recommend. 390 00:18:20,539 --> 00:18:21,259 We're not friends. 391 00:18:21,829 --> 00:18:22,999 This is a business transaction. 392 00:18:22,999 --> 00:18:25,819 I'm not friends with my dentist, nor my friends with my pediatrician 393 00:18:25,819 --> 00:18:28,639 for my kids, nor my friends with most of the people that I engage 394 00:18:28,639 --> 00:18:29,809 with on a professional level. 395 00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,433 Shout out to my chiropractor, though we are besties, but when it 396 00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:36,778 comes to lawyer, we're not friends. 397 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,510 I should feel comfortable enough to call you because we 398 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:41,920 worked out how we communicate. 399 00:18:42,124 --> 00:18:45,250 I should feel comfortable enough to ask you for a line item bill, because I have 400 00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:48,427 a question about my bill, and you're not gonna, yell at me or cuss at me because 401 00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:51,457 I asked for a line item bill, and you're gonna get it to me pretty efficiently. 402 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:55,050 I feel pretty comfortable with working with your office, just like when I 403 00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:58,290 called the dentist and said, Hey, I see a charge on here I'm not familiar with. 404 00:18:58,290 --> 00:19:00,940 Can you have the hygienist call me back and explain this one to me? 405 00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:01,540 Sure, no problem. 406 00:19:01,540 --> 00:19:02,950 She'll call you before the business day's over. 407 00:19:02,950 --> 00:19:03,430 No problem. 408 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:04,920 It's the truth. 409 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,930 Something happened and I got billed for it. 410 00:19:06,930 --> 00:19:08,490 So it's easy to explain when it's the truth. 411 00:19:08,490 --> 00:19:12,090 When people get mad, when you ask questions. 412 00:19:12,394 --> 00:19:14,494 I would have to ask why. 413 00:19:15,504 --> 00:19:18,224 Why does your attorney get mad when you call? 414 00:19:18,674 --> 00:19:20,774 Why does your attorney get mad when you ask questions? 415 00:19:20,774 --> 00:19:22,874 Why does your attorney get mad when you wanna itemize? 416 00:19:22,874 --> 00:19:23,114 Bill? 417 00:19:23,114 --> 00:19:28,687 Why does your attorney get mad when you are just being a person going 418 00:19:28,687 --> 00:19:30,007 through a divorce and you're emotional? 419 00:19:30,787 --> 00:19:35,357 If somebody's making you feel like you're wrong for feeling your feelings 420 00:19:35,357 --> 00:19:39,617 or having questions or having doubts or wanting a certain thing that may 421 00:19:39,617 --> 00:19:40,847 not be the right attorney for you. 422 00:19:41,057 --> 00:19:45,137 Now again, all this to say, none of this was legal advice for you to like fire 423 00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:47,057 your attorney today, Larry, you're gone. 424 00:19:47,057 --> 00:19:47,777 Adios. 425 00:19:48,394 --> 00:19:53,164 But there are lawyers out there that won't do these things now, won't do all 10. 426 00:19:53,254 --> 00:19:56,014 I can't promise you that, but how many of you have an 427 00:19:56,014 --> 00:19:57,424 attorney that did all 10 things? 428 00:19:57,860 --> 00:19:58,880 That's not a good attorney. 429 00:19:59,390 --> 00:20:02,060 Now again, anybody can go get a law degree and pass. 430 00:20:02,090 --> 00:20:04,040 It doesn't make them a well-qualified attorney. 431 00:20:04,580 --> 00:20:07,130 It doesn't make them somebody that needs to represent my future. 432 00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:10,430 It doesn't mean that's the somebody that needs to represent my case. 433 00:20:10,894 --> 00:20:13,834 I wanna find somebody that can fit better with me and what I need.