<v Speaker 1>Men, tap in again. You want to express your desire

<v Speaker 1>clearly without pressure. Leadership is just clean, right listen, I'd

<v Speaker 1>love to take you out and spoil you a little bit.

<v Speaker 1>You in Oh my gosh, what does that mean? You

<v Speaker 1>know what it is? Hey, babe, It's Asia Christina.

<v Speaker 2>This is quality, clean control.

<v Speaker 1>What is happening? Hello? Everybody? How are we feeling? Can

<v Speaker 1>I just say I'm feeling angelic? Hence the whites. If

<v Speaker 1>you are watching me, thank you so much for tuning in.

<v Speaker 1>I want you guys to give this video a big

<v Speaker 1>thumbs up. Thank you very much. Actually, I'll do you

<v Speaker 1>one better, or maybe you can do me one better.

<v Speaker 1>We're a team, right, this is the a team hype

<v Speaker 1>the video high pipe pipe pipe Pype the video. Woo

<v Speaker 1>wooh yes, because it's like a million likes. That's pretty

<v Speaker 1>much like what it stands for. I don't know how

<v Speaker 1>to articulate it, but it basically is the ratio of

<v Speaker 1>and I'm making this up and I'm exaggerating here, but

<v Speaker 1>it's like it tells the algorithm times like a hundred,

<v Speaker 1>so instead of just liking the video, and it's just

<v Speaker 1>like a little like it's like no, it's like liking

<v Speaker 1>the video one hundred times. If you love me, then

<v Speaker 1>you like get a hundred times. So if you have

<v Speaker 1>the option to hype the video, it should be somewhere

<v Speaker 1>in the description box of some sort. And let me

<v Speaker 1>know if you have that option, because how else we're

<v Speaker 1>supposed to get this information out there. I have so

<v Speaker 1>much amazing stuff in store for you, guys, including my

<v Speaker 1>membership that I want you guys to check out more

<v Speaker 1>information on that. We are releasing the trailer for that.

<v Speaker 1>I see so many of you already have messaged me

<v Speaker 1>telling me that you can't wait to join, that you

<v Speaker 1>are so excited, And that's what I'm here for, as

<v Speaker 1>you guys, big sis, Okay, as I don't want to

<v Speaker 1>say auntie ah, I'm not giving on. I mean, I

<v Speaker 1>am getting cool on it, though, I kind of if

<v Speaker 1>you're if I'm really gonna, you know, keep it a

<v Speaker 1>I digress, I digress, all right. So let's talk about

<v Speaker 1>something that I think a lot of men, yes the

<v Speaker 1>topic is men. Men you're in the hot seat today,

<v Speaker 1>are deeply confused about right now, and honestly a lot

<v Speaker 1>of women are too. And I feel like that is

<v Speaker 1>the difference between leading and controlling. And this is just

<v Speaker 1>such a controversial topic because somewhere along the way, I

<v Speaker 1>feel like the two got twisted and people seem to

<v Speaker 1>think that they are the same thing. And now, we

<v Speaker 1>do have good men out there, and there are men

<v Speaker 1>with genuine intentions, and there are men that probably do

<v Speaker 1>have the fear of thinking. Man, if I speak up,

<v Speaker 1>then I'm controlling. If I take the lead, Am I

<v Speaker 1>doing too much? If I have standards? Am I toxic?

<v Speaker 1>Or you know? So, what do they do? Right? Those

<v Speaker 1>men are probably going to freeze, They're going to fall back,

<v Speaker 1>They're going to become passive. And on the other side,

<v Speaker 1>there's women that are saying, I just want a man

<v Speaker 1>who leads. They're saying, I'm tired of having to make

<v Speaker 1>all of the decisions. I'm I want to feel safe.

<v Speaker 1>I want to feel you know, secure, I want to

<v Speaker 1>feel guided, I want to feel nurtured. But the second

<v Speaker 1>that it starts to feel like control, then this is

<v Speaker 1>where the resistance starts to take place. So now we're

<v Speaker 1>stuck in a loop as a society where men are

<v Speaker 1>afraid to lead, where women don't trust what feels forced obviously,

<v Speaker 1>and no one is actually getting what they want. But

<v Speaker 1>here is the truth, and this is what's going to

<v Speaker 1>anchor this entire episode. Right, true masculine leadership creates direction, safety,

<v Speaker 1>and polarity without imposing force or stripping someone of their freedom.

<v Speaker 1>That's just the truth. So let me say that again.

<v Speaker 1>Leadership is not necessarily about power. We're over her in

<v Speaker 1>this in this context, it is about a presence that

<v Speaker 1>she can trust. Right, That's what it's about. That's where

<v Speaker 1>that safety and that security comes from. Right. No one

<v Speaker 1>realistically is gonna lead anyone when we don't trust where

<v Speaker 1>you go and they want to say ride or die?

<v Speaker 1>Where are we ride into? And why are we dying?

<v Speaker 1>Because it's not me. I'll tell you that much right here,

<v Speaker 1>right now. You heard it here today, mark the dates

<v Speaker 1>and the time and the oh wah, it's not happening. Okay.

<v Speaker 1>I Am not going to be sitting here roden and die.

<v Speaker 1>And for where are we going? I want to know? However, obviously,

<v Speaker 1>you know if you got the right man by your side,

<v Speaker 1>you know you're gonna do. What ah doctor Phil said,

<v Speaker 1>is that your man. You're gonna stick without him? Yup yuah,

<v Speaker 1>that's your man, yup. I get it. So when a

<v Speaker 1>man can actually understand that. That is powerful. Right. A

<v Speaker 1>woman is not going to be feeling restricted by a

<v Speaker 1>man who leads in that way. You're gonna feel relieved

<v Speaker 1>because you trust them to make decisions. You trust that

<v Speaker 1>well one, they are the model of their own life

<v Speaker 1>and their own decisions, and you do trust them to

<v Speaker 1>help to accompany you and to help to aid in

<v Speaker 1>leading your life. So this is the psychology and the

<v Speaker 1>core difference. So let's break down why this actually works.

<v Speaker 1>And this is not just an opinion here. Okay, this

<v Speaker 1>is psychology. Argue with your mama or science. Okay, this

<v Speaker 1>is biology. And this is also nervous system regulation. So

<v Speaker 1>a woman's body is constantly scanning, right, Am I safe? Here?

<v Speaker 1>Can I relax? Here? Do I have to be in control?

<v Speaker 1>Or can I let go? It's just the truth. It

<v Speaker 1>is just a normal auto computation, is what I can

<v Speaker 1>call it. And then when whenever we as women are

<v Speaker 1>with a man that is grounded, that is decisive, that

<v Speaker 1>is emotionally steady, our nervous system is naturally going to

<v Speaker 1>want to calm down. The stress is going to go down,

<v Speaker 1>the trust is going to go up, and the connection

<v Speaker 1>is going to deepen. Okay, because masculine energy at its

<v Speaker 1>healthiest provides direction, you feel so stable. It's like, you

<v Speaker 1>know how they say, as woman, we never know what

<v Speaker 1>we want to eat. Well, I always knew what I

<v Speaker 1>wanted to eat. But I'm unfortunately here to say that,

<v Speaker 1>I have to become that person where I'm just like,

<v Speaker 1>I don't really know actually what I'm in the mood

<v Speaker 1>for at all. I always just default to just like fruit.

<v Speaker 1>I eat pineapple on a consistent basis. I love me

<v Speaker 1>a little DC little dan't cook, and I pretty much

<v Speaker 1>eat the same things. I'm honestly a boring eater. I'm

<v Speaker 1>really not adventurous with eating. And when I say boring,

<v Speaker 1>I don't mean burgers and friesh okay, I don't want

<v Speaker 1>to eat that Southern fried homicide. I prefer like salads,

<v Speaker 1>fruit like just like light stuff, that type of vibe.

<v Speaker 1>But French price is always a vibe, thank you. So yeah,

<v Speaker 1>So feminine energy is going to respond with flow anytime

<v Speaker 1>healthy masculine energy provides that direction. So that is where

<v Speaker 1>the polarity right there is going to live, because that's

<v Speaker 1>where the attraction lives. You know, when I asked my mom,

<v Speaker 1>I was like, you know, what was one of the

<v Speaker 1>things that attracted you to Daddy? And she was like,

<v Speaker 1>I just loved the way that he thinks, you know,

<v Speaker 1>I love the way that he like he would think

<v Speaker 1>about things. And it just allowed my mom to really,

<v Speaker 1>you know, feel like wow, like I trust this man.

<v Speaker 1>I trust that he's going to lead me, He's going

<v Speaker 1>to guide me all of the things. You know. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>but the moment that leadership turns into control, everything is

<v Speaker 1>gonna shift, right, because control is rooted in what fear right,

<v Speaker 1>It sounds like, uh, we're doing this, Why are you

<v Speaker 1>acting like that? Or I need you to? But bah

<v Speaker 1>bah blah bah, there's no space, there's no collaboration, there's

<v Speaker 1>no emotional safety, right, and so what is a woman's

<v Speaker 1>response going to be to that? What is our response

<v Speaker 1>going to be to that? Resistance and distance and also

<v Speaker 1>quiet resentment? Why are you No one wants to feel

<v Speaker 1>in a relationship like you're walking on eggshells when I

<v Speaker 1>tell you that you feel extra lonely in a relationship

<v Speaker 1>where you're holding so much in and you can't even

<v Speaker 1>express that to the person that's supposed to be one

<v Speaker 1>of the closest people to you, and you can't even

<v Speaker 1>express that properly. Can you imagine that level of just

<v Speaker 1>feeling so unsafe in a relationship. It's very hurtful, very isolating,

<v Speaker 1>and very lonely. But leadership leadership sounds different. All right,

<v Speaker 1>Leadership says I got this, but I still see you,

<v Speaker 1>I still hear you. I'm still acknowledging what it is

<v Speaker 1>that you say. So let me make this very clear

<v Speaker 1>and simple for you. Control is going to demand compliance

<v Speaker 1>out of somebody. Right, Leadership earns the cooperation. That's what

<v Speaker 1>leadership does. Leadership earns cooperation. Control says follow me or

<v Speaker 1>else it's a threat, But leadership says, walk with me.

<v Speaker 1>You'll want to walk with me. Right. Control is going

<v Speaker 1>to create a lot of tension in a dynamic, and

<v Speaker 1>leadership creates trust. These are the differences, and trust is

<v Speaker 1>always what allows a woman to soften. You Ever hear

<v Speaker 1>that quote that's like, oh, don't you just love when

<v Speaker 1>you can just be around your man and you just

<v Speaker 1>turn your brain off and he just like guides you everywhere.

<v Speaker 1>You know, there's like especially when you're dating and you

<v Speaker 1>and your hubby or going on a date night, you

<v Speaker 1>and your boyfee boy for going on a date night,

<v Speaker 1>and it feels so good to just know, like, man,

<v Speaker 1>I don't know where I'm going, but I'm going with him.

<v Speaker 1>I don't know where I'm going. When I'm going, I'm okay.

<v Speaker 1>And it just feels so good to just feel so safe,

<v Speaker 1>like oh, oh my gosh, like I don't have to

<v Speaker 1>worry about my feelings. I remember having that feeling myself

<v Speaker 1>to be honest in my relationship. I remember thinking like,

<v Speaker 1>oh my gosh, like I'm not confused. I'm not confused

<v Speaker 1>on how this man feels about me. I'm not confused

<v Speaker 1>on whether he's committed to me. There's so much safety

<v Speaker 1>in knowing that even if there's a disagreement, he's not

<v Speaker 1>gonna walk out and start entertaining other woman. He's not

<v Speaker 1>going to be doing this and doing that. I don't

<v Speaker 1>have to feel like I need to check his phone

<v Speaker 1>and clock the things that he's doing. Like, I do

<v Speaker 1>not feel like that. And I believe every woman should

<v Speaker 1>deserves the right to feel the same way and men

<v Speaker 1>as well. Okay, it goes both ways. I do not

<v Speaker 1>believe anybody should be looking behind their shoulder, concerned that

<v Speaker 1>in moments of adversity that someone's gonna ic you out,

<v Speaker 1>that someone is going to be threatening to leave you

<v Speaker 1>every time things are a little uncomfortable, other that there's

<v Speaker 1>something to work through that instead, you just you know,

<v Speaker 1>pretty much Drew Sidora and Ralph the situation where Ralph

<v Speaker 1>is going to just be leaving for three days and

<v Speaker 1>going to Florida with his clown self. And we already

<v Speaker 1>know what Ralph was doing. Okay, Okay, he was he

<v Speaker 1>was definitely being unfaithful. I digress. So this is the

<v Speaker 1>part that everybody actually needs. How do you do this

<v Speaker 1>in real life? Right? Because this is not about theory,

<v Speaker 1>this is actually about behavior. Right. Stop asking open ended questions.

<v Speaker 1>I remember my boyfriend and I we would always like

<v Speaker 1>when we see our single friends or whatever. It's not

<v Speaker 1>really that many of them, I'll tell you that much,

<v Speaker 1>but our single friends would be like, oh, like going

<v Speaker 1>on dates and things like that. And I remember the

<v Speaker 1>first thing my boyfriend said was, I feel like sometimes

<v Speaker 1>people don't ask the right questions. And it's true. You

<v Speaker 1>have to ask like the right questions that are not

<v Speaker 1>open ended, right. They need you know, start leading with options,

<v Speaker 1>so you know, especially for men. Right, So it's not

<v Speaker 1>like you know, what do you want to do? I'm

<v Speaker 1>telling you, especially if you're just getting to know a guy,

<v Speaker 1>it's the same thing is as soon as woman as

<v Speaker 1>a society praise him as a collective, we have all,

<v Speaker 1>you know, phased out of the what you do in

<v Speaker 1>the WYD, We've all phased out of that. There is

<v Speaker 1>no wyd anymore. It's like, okay, I'm like getting paid,

<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Bye? Like you know, no one

<v Speaker 1>wants to feel like they're with them, especially if you

<v Speaker 1>want a traditional type of dynamic right where you want

<v Speaker 1>more of a masculine, healthy, masculine man. I highly doubt

<v Speaker 1>you were gonna want him to hit you up every

<v Speaker 1>single day, every single all the every hour and be like, hey,

<v Speaker 1>what are you doing? Ogive, what are you doing now?

<v Speaker 1>Like it's like we're not talking about anything. We have

<v Speaker 1>to move on. So how about this instead of a

<v Speaker 1>guy asking men tap in, fellas tap in? This is

<v Speaker 1>your turn to listen. I'm telling you what the woman want.

<v Speaker 1>I'm giving you some keys. I don't know anyone that's

<v Speaker 1>really doing it like this, but I know there are

<v Speaker 1>certain let me just say this, I know there are

<v Speaker 1>certain channels out there that I do appreciate. There are

<v Speaker 1>men that give a perspective of what they want in

<v Speaker 1>a woman from a male perspective, and it's not all

<v Speaker 1>toxic out there. I can't even think of a name,

<v Speaker 1>but I do know that they exist that I'm not

<v Speaker 1>even being funny, And I think what I want to

<v Speaker 1>begin to incorporate and what I am going to incorporate

<v Speaker 1>on the channel is I want to also be able

<v Speaker 1>to give men advice from a woman's perspective of what

<v Speaker 1>women want as well. Why would I not I'm helping

<v Speaker 1>us all. Hello, I'm not against you you right? Okay?

<v Speaker 1>So instead of well what do you want to do?

<v Speaker 1>We want decisiveness, sir? How about this? I'm thinking that

<v Speaker 1>we try that new spot. How is Friday at eight sounds?

<v Speaker 1>Do you want to do the patio? Do you want

<v Speaker 1>to do inside? What's your vibe? Do you see the difference?

<v Speaker 1>So you're not controlling, okay, the woman that you're interested in.

<v Speaker 1>You were not removing her choice either. You were creating

<v Speaker 1>structure and you're inviting her into it. Remember how I

<v Speaker 1>mentioned that leadership says walk with me, right, You're gonna

<v Speaker 1>be walking with me and you're gonna want to it's

<v Speaker 1>an invitation, right, that's the difference, not well, what do

<v Speaker 1>you want to do, which is just completely just like okay,

<v Speaker 1>So clearly he has no plan. And I think men

<v Speaker 1>really need to hone in on this because I think

<v Speaker 1>for some men they don't realize that you saying that

<v Speaker 1>it gives I have no plan, I have no structure.

<v Speaker 1>The first thing you want in a guy the thing

<v Speaker 1>about dating too. I just this revelation, wow, is that

<v Speaker 1>the things that men are looking for a lot of

<v Speaker 1>the time, for the most part, at first, at first,

<v Speaker 1>at verse at first, are solely built on physicality call

<v Speaker 1>a spata spat argue with yeah, mama, right. But for

<v Speaker 1>the things that women look for in the beginning, aside

<v Speaker 1>from okay, this is he cute, whatever the case is,

<v Speaker 1>all right, now, you're looking for like that immediate safety

<v Speaker 1>of feeling secure around that man. Does he have a plan?

<v Speaker 1>It's stuff that is not as tangible that women are

<v Speaker 1>looking for in the beginning, as opposed to for men

<v Speaker 1>they're not looking well at first, like is she you

<v Speaker 1>know of sound mind and all these different in depth things. No,

<v Speaker 1>they're like, does she pass my physical check? All right?

<v Speaker 1>Abada being a bada boom. Okay cool. So, like I said,

<v Speaker 1>you're creating the structure, you're inviting her into it. And

<v Speaker 1>then you also have to think like this, you want

<v Speaker 1>to lead in conflict, but you do not want to

<v Speaker 1>overpower it. Okay. Most men either shut down like raw

<v Speaker 1>and they go and leave and disappear for three days

<v Speaker 1>and try to occupy their time with something else. Leaving

<v Speaker 1>will never get you to a resolution. I'm telling you

<v Speaker 1>that right now you're gonna have to learn the you know,

<v Speaker 1>the art of communication and problem solving, especially if you

<v Speaker 1>ever want to have a family and have a marriage

<v Speaker 1>one day, you have to learn how to problem solve.

<v Speaker 1>It's just you can't. No woman wants to be with

<v Speaker 1>a man who when the going gets tough, he gives up,

<v Speaker 1>he walks out, he disappears, he's non communicative. No woman

<v Speaker 1>wants that. I'm telling you that right now, you want

<v Speaker 1>to know that you're being fought for, that you're being pursued.

<v Speaker 1>That's what you really want to solidify. That's what's going

<v Speaker 1>to make you feel safe. So you can't have someone

<v Speaker 1>like I said, that's going to be shutting down or

<v Speaker 1>want to dominate the conversation. You know it just is

<v Speaker 1>the truth. And if you're in a I don't want

<v Speaker 1>to use the word normal, I don't think that's the

<v Speaker 1>correct word to use. But you're in more of a

<v Speaker 1>traditional relationship where in any relationship there's always going to

<v Speaker 1>be a masculine and feminine energy. We both have them

<v Speaker 1>in each and every one of us. However, there's always

<v Speaker 1>going to be a maskline and effeminine energy. So you

<v Speaker 1>have to remember that. You don't want your man to

<v Speaker 1>be dominating the conversation and not allowing you the space

<v Speaker 1>to speak right or giving you the feeling of safety

<v Speaker 1>so that you can express yourself without maybe that person

<v Speaker 1>walking away and shutting down. So both are you know,

<v Speaker 1>both of those things are leadership failures. If you're going

<v Speaker 1>to be shutting down, if you're going to be dominating

<v Speaker 1>the conversation, that is a failure, right you. Real leadership

<v Speaker 1>should sound like you know what, I see that this

<v Speaker 1>is upsetting. I don't want us to talk over each other.

<v Speaker 1>Let's take a minute, come back to this calmly, like

<v Speaker 1>you know, and actually come back to it calmly. Don't

<v Speaker 1>just be like, yeah, let's take let's just table it,

<v Speaker 1>and then you just never go back to the table. Right,

<v Speaker 1>that's just you know, shoving something under the rug. That's

<v Speaker 1>not giving, weak, No, that's giving. Okay, I want to

<v Speaker 1>regulate this conversation because you'll never get anywhere in a

<v Speaker 1>heightened state of emotion. You're just not right. And then

<v Speaker 1>you also, as you know, men tap in again. You

<v Speaker 1>want to express your desire clearly without pressure. So a

<v Speaker 1>lot of men may either hide what they want or

<v Speaker 1>maybe sometimes they will push to aggressively. Leadership is just clean, right, Listen,

<v Speaker 1>I'd love to take you out and spoil you a

<v Speaker 1>little bit.

<v Speaker 2>You in Oh my gosh, what does that mean? Okay,

<v Speaker 2>like you not like come on like guys like you

<v Speaker 2>know what it is. You know, you know, we know

<v Speaker 2>what you're doing.

<v Speaker 1>Right. There's direction, right, there's intention, there's but there's still freedom.

<v Speaker 1>It doesn't really feel like man, I'm telling her, yeah,

<v Speaker 1>you in or not, because I can find someone else

<v Speaker 1>to replace you. Well if you don't, if you don't

<v Speaker 1>answer me, I'm gonna find something else to do. Like,

<v Speaker 1>it doesn't feel like a threat in a certain way. Right,

<v Speaker 1>And then you have to do something that I call

<v Speaker 1>becoming the lighthouse, which is this is this is something

<v Speaker 1>that I don't believe that. Most guys maybe do. But

<v Speaker 1>if you are inconsistent, right, you say one thing and

<v Speaker 1>you do another. You show up strong one day and

<v Speaker 1>then you're disappearing the next, you're gonna wonder why you're

<v Speaker 1>not trusted. Inconsistency even in a monogamous relationship. Okay, because

<v Speaker 1>there's nuances to this. I'm not talking about one minute

<v Speaker 1>you're you're texting her the next No, I'm talking about

<v Speaker 1>you're or you're actually in a relationship. But you don't

<v Speaker 1>feel safe because you notice that one minute he's super

<v Speaker 1>motivated and he's doing this, and he's on his grind

<v Speaker 1>and and everything is great. And then you start to

<v Speaker 1>lose that attractiveness because you're seeing that he's letting this

<v Speaker 1>pile up. He's not doing this, he's not doing that,

<v Speaker 1>like you feel like you're cleaning up after the guy.

<v Speaker 1>You feel like you're the one. One minute he's initiating

<v Speaker 1>plans and asking you if you want to go out

<v Speaker 1>and all these different things. The next second you don't

<v Speaker 1>really hear from him that much. He's not really initiating.

<v Speaker 1>Everything just feels mundane. Okay, because the lighthouse is not

<v Speaker 1>going to be chasing the ships. Right, it's going to

<v Speaker 1>be standing still, it's going to be consistent, it's going

<v Speaker 1>to be reliable. I'm telling you men, reliability goes a

<v Speaker 1>long way. And because of that, people do what they

<v Speaker 1>move toward it. Right, that's becoming the lighthouse. That is leadership.

<v Speaker 1>And then think about it like this, repair things quickly

<v Speaker 1>whenever you mess up. Yes, you are not going to

<v Speaker 1>always be leading perfectly all the time. No one's perfect, okay.

<v Speaker 1>And as much as women like to think that we're perfect,

<v Speaker 1>lego move real ladies, me not perfect. Okay, We're not perfect.

<v Speaker 1>That's just the truth. And it takes two to tango

<v Speaker 1>in order to make a healthy relationship work. So the

<v Speaker 1>difference between a boy and a man is accountability. I

<v Speaker 1>don't mean to get all real house, you know, secrealis

<v Speaker 1>and Mormon wives with what is that clown's name? Allegedly

<v Speaker 1>Jesse's husband can't even remember his name. My bad, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>I don't want to think too hard. Accountability. That's like

<v Speaker 1>one of his favorite words, right, he took none. But

<v Speaker 1>like I said, the difference between a boy and a

<v Speaker 1>man is the accountability. I you know, came on too

<v Speaker 1>strong earlier, wasn't my intention. You know what I meant

<v Speaker 1>was actually this communication being communicative. Do you know how

<v Speaker 1>where that is? Do you know how where that is?

<v Speaker 1>And I'm sure it's the same for men. Men don't

<v Speaker 1>want to feel like they're exploding every time they say

<v Speaker 1>a word, right, Like, you know, dang, I can't even

<v Speaker 1>talk to her because she's gonna start screaming, carrying on

<v Speaker 1>and throwing a fit. That's a story for a different day.

<v Speaker 1>It's a very rare thing. Like, guys, think about how

<v Speaker 1>many times there's been situations where you've been in relationships

<v Speaker 1>and the men communicate very healthily. I want to sit,

<v Speaker 1>I want to talk to you. They are the mature

<v Speaker 1>ones in this situation. Unfortunately, stereotypically, it feels like usually

<v Speaker 1>women are leading those conversations. And I'm sure that that's

<v Speaker 1>not always the case, Okay, positive about that. However, the

<v Speaker 1>stereotype is is that just like how the stereotype is,

<v Speaker 1>men are not usually out here handing out commitments to women. No,

<v Speaker 1>they're not. That's just the truth. Okay, that's like a fact,

<v Speaker 1>orderline fact. They're not just out here handing out commitments,

<v Speaker 1>and women are usually the ones that always want to

<v Speaker 1>be in a relationship. All right, I digress, But like

<v Speaker 1>I said, it's gonna build so much trust. Right. What

<v Speaker 1>I think is very important and fundamental is handling your

<v Speaker 1>emotions before you try to lead a woman. Please hear

<v Speaker 1>me out when I say this, men, please handle your

<v Speaker 1>emotions before you were trying to lead a relationship. Too

<v Speaker 1>many people are out here trying to lead cause play

<v Speaker 1>as leaders really, to be honest, that's what it is.

<v Speaker 1>And cause play is having your life together and all

<v Speaker 1>the things, and you're nothing of the sort, nothing of

<v Speaker 1>the sort in real life. It's like you're trying on

<v Speaker 1>a mask because you think, Okay, this is how I

<v Speaker 1>get her. But baby, we're gonna see the real you anyway.

<v Speaker 1>We see how you're not really about this life. We

<v Speaker 1>see that you are triggered, We see that you're insecure,

<v Speaker 1>we see that you're reactive. We see you right, You're

<v Speaker 1>not leading when you act like that. You are controlling

<v Speaker 1>so that you can soothe yourself. That's what you're doing.

<v Speaker 1>You have to learn how to emotionally regulate yourself and

<v Speaker 1>handle your emotions because leadership always requires self regulation first. Always.

<v Speaker 1>So let me tell you where men's can mess this up. Well,

<v Speaker 1>they think that leadership means that they're being dominant all

<v Speaker 1>the time. They think that it means never listening. Some

<v Speaker 1>men may also think that it means always being right.

<v Speaker 1>That is not leadership. That is ego, and an ego

<v Speaker 1>will cost you a true, genuine connection every single time.

<v Speaker 1>All right, another mistake. Performative masculinity is an issue, like

<v Speaker 1>I said, cause playing performative masculinity, a real woman can

<v Speaker 1>see that. You can see when it's a five year

<v Speaker 1>old in a suit, Okay, you can see that you're

<v Speaker 1>trying to act like a leader instead of actually becoming

<v Speaker 1>one to a real woman. Listen, women mature faster than men.

<v Speaker 1>That's not that's not my theory, that that is an

<v Speaker 1>actual fact. Usually women usually do mature faster than men

<v Speaker 1>in every capacity. Right, So, if you're going to try

<v Speaker 1>and pretend to be a leader instead of actually being one,

<v Speaker 1>and you get around a real woman, you're the fruit

<v Speaker 1>that is going to show its for itself. We're gonna

<v Speaker 1>see how All right, now, you guys are together and

<v Speaker 1>it seems like you are not really the person that

<v Speaker 1>you were trying to insinuate that you were, or that

<v Speaker 1>you said that you were when you first were were dating,

<v Speaker 1>all the things doesn't really make sense. We as women

<v Speaker 1>can one hundred percent feel that right, because leadership is

<v Speaker 1>not what you say. It is what a woman is

<v Speaker 1>going to be experiencing when she's around you. That's what

<v Speaker 1>our experience is. That's what we're going to see. It's

<v Speaker 1>not what you say, it is what the experience is

<v Speaker 1>being around you. I don't care what you said, I

<v Speaker 1>care about what you do. Does she feel safe? Does

<v Speaker 1>she feel considered? Does she feel like she can breathe

<v Speaker 1>when she's around you? Or does she feel like she

<v Speaker 1>has to brace herself? She's tensing up. Here's the payoff

<v Speaker 1>to actually getting this right, because when a man is

<v Speaker 1>truly gonna lead, like I said, women are naturally going

<v Speaker 1>to soften. Right, You're gonna become more open, You're gonna

<v Speaker 1>become more affectionate, You're going to become more receptive. And

<v Speaker 1>it's not because you have to, but it's because you

<v Speaker 1>want to. You want to open up when you feel

<v Speaker 1>safe with someone. Again, you're not pretending it's really who

<v Speaker 1>you are. Okay. So that's the beautiful thing about this

<v Speaker 1>delicate dance. So that's the polarity that is the intimacy

<v Speaker 1>right there, and that is peace. And men, hear me

<v Speaker 1>clearly when I say this. You are not trying to

<v Speaker 1>control a woman into submission. No, no, no, no, You are

<v Speaker 1>becoming the kind of man that she feels safe enough

<v Speaker 1>to follow. There's a difference, right, That's a big one.

<v Speaker 1>So here's what I want you to do this week, right,

<v Speaker 1>Try one thing, lead one plan, handle one conflict differently,

<v Speaker 1>or say one thing with clarity and intention. Real men

<v Speaker 1>are not afraid of commitments, and they are not afraid

<v Speaker 1>to state their intention. And watch what shifts. Right And

<v Speaker 1>for my woman listening right. If you know a man

<v Speaker 1>that needs to hear this, a good man who probably

<v Speaker 1>just doesn't know how to lead yet, send this to him,

<v Speaker 1>because the right men aren't the problem, Okay, they just

<v Speaker 1>have not necessarily been taught the difference. Thank you guys

<v Speaker 1>so much for hanging out with me. Make sure that

<v Speaker 1>you hype this video up. Make sure that you give

<v Speaker 1>this video a thumbs up. If you don't have the

<v Speaker 1>hype option, make sure that you rate this podcast five stars.

<v Speaker 1>Send this to your man. Send this to the guy

<v Speaker 1>you have a crush on. Ah. Send this to your

<v Speaker 1>friends so she can send it to her man too.

<v Speaker 1>All right. With that being said, do not forget that

<v Speaker 1>I love you and God loves you. I'll speak to

<v Speaker 1>beautiful angels in my next podcast episode.