<v Speaker 1>If a man is going to find himself always in

<v Speaker 1>your DMS with next to nothing to say, leave that

<v Speaker 1>man right there. I have people in my DMS too,

<v Speaker 1>I'm not answering them. I'm not answering it doesn't make

<v Speaker 1>sense to me. Hey, babe, it's Asia Christina as this

<v Speaker 1>his Quality Queen Control.

<v Speaker 2>What is happening? Hello?

<v Speaker 1>Everyone, welcome back to Quality Queen Control. I'm your host,

<v Speaker 1>aister Christina Foster. I want you, if you are watching this,

<v Speaker 1>to hype the video.

<v Speaker 2>Hype the video.

<v Speaker 1>You should see it somewhere in the description box. It

<v Speaker 1>should give you the option to If it doesn't, DM

<v Speaker 1>me let me know. I respond to my DMS okay, like, hello,

<v Speaker 1>we are girls girls here.

<v Speaker 2>We don't want to get keep anything. Diva, absolutely not.

<v Speaker 1>So I'm having a fantastic day today, and that's why

<v Speaker 1>I figured let's give a masterclass on how to bread

<v Speaker 1>crumb men since they love doing it to us, right,

<v Speaker 1>that will be great. You're definitely want to tune into this.

<v Speaker 1>Send this to a friend after you're done listening if

<v Speaker 1>you feel like this is something they need to learn,

<v Speaker 1>which they do. And I think you guys will find

<v Speaker 1>this quite informative as well, so I hope you guys

<v Speaker 1>are enjoying, enjoying your day. It's spring, the sun is out,

<v Speaker 1>the vibes are just honestly so high.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

<v Speaker 1>I just feel like this is going to be a

<v Speaker 1>great year and we are in what may just that

<v Speaker 1>fast where does all the time go? So, like I said,

<v Speaker 1>I'm going to teach you how to breadcrumb men.

<v Speaker 2>All right, You're going.

<v Speaker 1>To give him just enough attention to keep him hooked,

<v Speaker 1>but never to actually feel secure, because apparently that's what's

<v Speaker 1>been done to us this entire time.

<v Speaker 2>Now, what you can.

<v Speaker 1>Start to do is probably start to respond within three

<v Speaker 1>to five business days.

<v Speaker 2>Right.

<v Speaker 1>This will kind of keep him wondering whether or not

<v Speaker 1>you're alive. Right, And it's very important to do this

<v Speaker 1>because you need to keep that curiosity alive. Right, It's

<v Speaker 1>called the curiosity gap. You need to keep that curiosity alive,

<v Speaker 1>like did she get the message? Did it deliver?

<v Speaker 2>Am I blocked? Right? We need those thoughts to really

<v Speaker 2>get through his brain. Okay.

<v Speaker 1>Rule number two would be to have extremely inconsistent energy.

<v Speaker 1>Be warm on Monday and then cold on Wednesday, and

<v Speaker 1>then add in a little bit of confusion on Friday.

<v Speaker 1>That's like a really good cycle that we can have

<v Speaker 1>going on. Rule number three is like future faking. All right,

<v Speaker 1>but we're going to do it lightly, say things like

<v Speaker 1>we should go there one day, but then never actually

<v Speaker 1>plan anything or even really follow up even if he

<v Speaker 1>does try to mention something. And then rule number four

<v Speaker 1>would be to give just enough validate. All right, you

<v Speaker 1>can compliment him, but then you're disc You're going to

<v Speaker 1>disappear emotionally.

<v Speaker 2>So you want him to question did she does she

<v Speaker 2>like me? Did did she mean it.

<v Speaker 1>When she said that's a great outfit that I could

<v Speaker 1>wear for this a kate?

<v Speaker 2>Hmm?

<v Speaker 1>You want to create those questions, and rule number five

<v Speaker 1>keep him in limbo. Never define the relationships. Okay, never

<v Speaker 1>define the relationship. Just go off vibes. It's just vibes,

<v Speaker 1>that's it. Uh. You know, if he tries to even

<v Speaker 1>insinuate or bring something up that's in regards to you

<v Speaker 1>being with him, you derail that. And listen, I don't

<v Speaker 1>know why we are thinking so far so you know,

<v Speaker 1>so far ahead. I'm just here to you know, I

<v Speaker 1>just want to go off of the vibes, you know

<v Speaker 1>what I mean. I just want to make sure that

<v Speaker 1>we're at present, We're enjoying each other's company right now.

<v Speaker 1>I don't want to, you know, get ahead of ourselves

<v Speaker 1>or anything like that. I just want to make sure

<v Speaker 1>that I'm present with you.

<v Speaker 2>Okay. Now here's why this actually works.

<v Speaker 1>Because we as human beings are addicted to inconsistency. Why

<v Speaker 1>it creates dopamine spikes, that's just the science of it.

<v Speaker 1>And when you have you're in a situation where there's scarcity,

<v Speaker 1>meaning you're not getting enough attention, you're feeling like there's

<v Speaker 1>something lacking clearly in the dynamic, it's going to create

<v Speaker 1>a perceived value.

<v Speaker 2>Okay.

<v Speaker 1>This goes for just about anything in life where you

<v Speaker 1>don't see, you know, a built I mean, I guess

<v Speaker 1>you do see a billion Ermez bags these days, but

<v Speaker 1>the ones that are that are authentic. We know that

<v Speaker 1>there is a process to get those Iermez bags. We

<v Speaker 1>know that they're and you might not even get selected

<v Speaker 1>to be a person who even receives an Irma's bag,

<v Speaker 1>meaning a birkin specifically.

<v Speaker 2>There's a whole process that comes to do with it.

<v Speaker 1>We also know car companies like Bentley Ferrari, they're not

<v Speaker 1>on the car commercials. I don't even think there's a

<v Speaker 1>car commercial for Mercedes Benz either, right, Like they don't

<v Speaker 1>need to advertise things because everybody understands the value of

<v Speaker 1>it already. Right, There are certain things in life that

<v Speaker 1>we already understand the value intrinsically, and there are few

<v Speaker 1>of those things, and that perceived scarcity, right, whether it's

<v Speaker 1>a fact or not, is what heightens the value of it.

<v Speaker 1>So this is also why I don't understand why some

<v Speaker 1>women are so male centered and have to spread themselves

<v Speaker 1>so thin, because it's not I'm not saying play the

<v Speaker 1>game here of being a mystery. But what I'm saying

<v Speaker 1>is why is it so hard for some of you

<v Speaker 1>to just live, just live your life, Like it's so

<v Speaker 1>difficult you just feel like, oh, I just need to

<v Speaker 1>be open with this person. I just need to let

<v Speaker 1>him know every single thing about me, Like I just

<v Speaker 1>I just want to just I don't want to play games,

<v Speaker 1>or you equate playing games to oversharing. Okay, no, you

<v Speaker 1>not feeling your entire guts out because you're hoping you

<v Speaker 1>can receive the same return in which I'm willing to

<v Speaker 1>bet you never do. Right, is not about I'm letting

<v Speaker 1>him know off the bet that I don't.

<v Speaker 2>Want to play games.

<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, men do not function in the same capacity

<v Speaker 1>that woman do, so he's not going to look at

<v Speaker 1>the situation and think, man, she's really not playing with me.

<v Speaker 1>She let me know about her trauma. You know, when

<v Speaker 1>she was growing up that her ex never got her flowers.

<v Speaker 2>She let me.

<v Speaker 1>That really makes me want to step up to the plate. No,

<v Speaker 1>what it's actually going to do is it's going to

<v Speaker 1>attract men that are going to fake the funk and

<v Speaker 1>they're going to act like, oh, they're the opposite.

<v Speaker 2>My daddy taught me this.

<v Speaker 1>Actually, my daddy told me, like, you never let you

<v Speaker 1>know the man that you're with hear about any sort

<v Speaker 1>of misfortune or anything like that from the previous guy,

<v Speaker 1>because that's how he can come in like your night

<v Speaker 1>in Shining Armor and make it seem like, oh, well,

<v Speaker 1>she said that she never used to get flowers. I'm

<v Speaker 1>gonna get her flowers. And you can't really decipher what

<v Speaker 1>his true intentions are because of the fact that he's

<v Speaker 1>trying to prove that he's so different from the last guy.

<v Speaker 1>All Right, so you don't do things like that. But

<v Speaker 1>there's also the emotional unpredictability, and that's going to create

<v Speaker 1>the attachment.

<v Speaker 2>That's what you want with that man.

<v Speaker 1>You want to create emotional unpredictability. That is going to

<v Speaker 1>give you the attachment man, because this person's trying to

<v Speaker 1>rack their brain around how to actually get something from you,

<v Speaker 1>how to make themselves feel like, what situation can I

<v Speaker 1>create to really solidify what I want and out of

<v Speaker 1>this relationship? How can I get an inkling of the

<v Speaker 1>direction of where this relationship is going? How can I

<v Speaker 1>get an inkling of security in this relationship and knowing

<v Speaker 1>that she's just with me and knowing that she's serious

<v Speaker 1>about me him. The reason that bread crumbing works is

<v Speaker 1>because it creates emotional confusion and confusion it actually.

<v Speaker 2>Does keep a lot of people attached.

<v Speaker 1>It gives you way more questions than answers, and by

<v Speaker 1>time you've already reached that level of desperation and confusion,

<v Speaker 1>you're so hungry for just an answer, you're gonna be

<v Speaker 1>putting up with a lot of stuff, all right by

<v Speaker 1>that point, because you're looking to justify, well, this person

<v Speaker 1>has been in my life for X amount of time.

<v Speaker 1>There's no way that I don't mean something to them,

<v Speaker 1>she's been going out on dates with me for the

<v Speaker 1>last two and a half three months. There's no way

<v Speaker 1>that like she's talking to another guy. And this is

<v Speaker 1>another thing. This is why a lot of guys in

<v Speaker 1>the beginning will try to consume your time. And this

<v Speaker 1>is I know it's so difficult, ladies, but if you

<v Speaker 1>want something that you've never had before, you got to

<v Speaker 1>start saying no to ninety nine percent of the things

<v Speaker 1>that you used to.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, all right, that's just how it goes.

<v Speaker 1>So with that being said, if he's trying to consume

<v Speaker 1>your time, all right, you guys go out, let's say

<v Speaker 1>even once a week.

<v Speaker 2>Now he's trying to up it to oh, hey.

<v Speaker 1>I was in the area by the way, I you know,

<v Speaker 1>I'd love to stop by whatever, and you're sitting here

<v Speaker 1>thinking like, oh, he.

<v Speaker 2>Just really likes me. Whatever the case is.

<v Speaker 1>We've all been in situations like that where a guy

<v Speaker 1>is like, you know what, I never do this, but

<v Speaker 1>I actually kind of miss you and I actually do

<v Speaker 1>want to see you again. No, it's a game. You're

<v Speaker 1>going to see me when you see me, brother, thank you.

<v Speaker 1>You're not going to see me whenever you want to

<v Speaker 1>see me, right, because if you even think about reversing

<v Speaker 1>those roles. Let's say you really want to see a guy.

<v Speaker 1>I mean, I can't imagine why you would tell him that,

<v Speaker 1>but you want to see him, he probably would not

<v Speaker 1>make himself available until after work, after he goes to

<v Speaker 1>the gym, and before you know it, it's conveniently nine

<v Speaker 1>thirty pm. There's only but so much to do at

<v Speaker 1>this hour, and I don't even know you, and now

<v Speaker 1>you're going over his house at nine thirty pm. And girl,

<v Speaker 1>we already know what's going to happen. Okay, we already

<v Speaker 1>know how the game goes.

<v Speaker 2>Or at least you should.

<v Speaker 1>So this is actually where we really need to hone

<v Speaker 1>in and have a conversation because everything that I just

<v Speaker 1>described that is not strategy. That is called emotional unavailability,

<v Speaker 1>all right, This is actually what many woman experience in dating, surprise, surprise.

<v Speaker 1>So this whole type of situation of breadcrumbing. And also

<v Speaker 1>I made a video about this years ago, a couple

<v Speaker 1>years ago, specifically talking about what breadcrumbing is and a

<v Speaker 1>lot of the times it includes or it does actually

<v Speaker 1>period include social media. So you have a man that

<v Speaker 1>follows you on social media, he's hearting all of your posts,

<v Speaker 1>and you you viewed that as counted interaction, and it's not.

<v Speaker 1>It's the equivalent, the millennial equivalent of snapchat. Okay, let's

<v Speaker 1>just think about it like that.

<v Speaker 2>That's what it is.

<v Speaker 1>So he's commenting on your stories. Now you can leave

<v Speaker 1>comments on stories as well. Doesn't even have to go

<v Speaker 1>to your messages. All right, he's herding your stuff. These

<v Speaker 1>are the things that he's doing. And you think, okay, well,

<v Speaker 1>he's obviously interested. He just doesn't want to say anything. Listen,

<v Speaker 1>I have given this example multiple times. No shade to

<v Speaker 1>you know our girl Kayla who was with Travis Kelcey

<v Speaker 1>and hello, we remember the whole genesis of that. For

<v Speaker 1>those of you that don't know, she said that she

<v Speaker 1>noticed he kept looking at her stories.

<v Speaker 2>I don't even know if he followed her. Maybe he

<v Speaker 2>did follow her.

<v Speaker 1>I will even say he followed her, would always look

<v Speaker 1>at her stories, never like asked her out, never would

<v Speaker 1>really interact beyond you know, a DM pretty much and

<v Speaker 1>not even a DM of hey, how are you would

<v Speaker 1>love to take you out? No, we're talking just like

<v Speaker 1>heart eyes, very bread crumb in nature. Okay, giving her

<v Speaker 1>a bunch of well nothing geld blown away with dust, right,

<v Speaker 1>breadcrumbs blown away with dust shows the foundation there that

<v Speaker 1>we're building, right, Okay, So then she gets liquid courage.

<v Speaker 2>One day and her friend's like, girl, just DM him.

<v Speaker 1>And at first she had the right idea, Girl, I'm

<v Speaker 1>not dming him.

<v Speaker 2>Why would I hit him up?

<v Speaker 1>He's the one that keeps on, you know, reacting and

<v Speaker 1>you know, to my stories. So she gets the liquid

<v Speaker 1>courage decides to hit him up with the whole My

<v Speaker 1>mom says, it's polite. It's not polite to stare and

<v Speaker 1>not speak. Something along those lines, and that's how they

<v Speaker 1>started speaking.

<v Speaker 2>She had to then reach out to him and listen.

<v Speaker 1>I don't know these people's business, but what I can

<v Speaker 1>say is it.

<v Speaker 2>Is very obvious.

<v Speaker 1>And I'm not referencing race in any capacity when I'm

<v Speaker 1>making these statements. There's a clear day difference in how

<v Speaker 1>Travis is treating Taylor and how he treated Kayla.

<v Speaker 2>It's like he treated Kayla.

<v Speaker 1>Like she was just an annoyance and he was just

<v Speaker 1>there and she was like the supporting character in his story.

<v Speaker 1>And with Taylor, it feels like you can tell, at

<v Speaker 1>least what it seems in the media like this was

<v Speaker 1>his decision.

<v Speaker 2>He wanted to pursue Taylor.

<v Speaker 1>That's what he wanted, regardless of what the intention is,

<v Speaker 1>regardless of Taylor's wealth, status or whatever.

<v Speaker 2>The point is is, this is.

<v Speaker 1>How he's the stark contrast and how he treated the

<v Speaker 1>both of them, right. And I know there's a million

<v Speaker 1>different things that we can say about that, but I

<v Speaker 1>think she went wrong, and I think she can agree

<v Speaker 1>she went wrong in approaching him first. If a man

<v Speaker 1>is going to find himself always in your DMS with

<v Speaker 1>next to nothing to say, all right, leave that man

<v Speaker 1>right there. I have people in my DMS too, I'm

<v Speaker 1>not answering them. I'm not answering it doesn't make sense

<v Speaker 1>to me, all right, as adults, especially past the age

<v Speaker 1>of thirty. Okay, it's ridiculous to me. You're not gonna

<v Speaker 1>use Instagram as the millennial snapchat, all right, and because

<v Speaker 1>tons of girls have those experiences. Where how is it

<v Speaker 1>that you have nothing to say to me other than emojis?

<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, did you just discover the invention of emojis?

<v Speaker 1>You have nothing to say of substance, but you just

<v Speaker 1>want me to know that you.

<v Speaker 2>Think I'm cute.

<v Speaker 1>Great, What am I supposed to do with this information?

<v Speaker 1>Leave those men in the dms where they belong, all right.

<v Speaker 1>If he's not going to take the conversation, starts a

<v Speaker 1>conversation and take it outside of the context of a DM.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, leave that man where he's at.

<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you this right now because you don't want

<v Speaker 1>to start to confuse yourself into thinking that that counts

<v Speaker 1>as interact. Or let's say you guys do have each

<v Speaker 1>other's numbers and you out of each other on socials,

<v Speaker 1>but you notice, please pay attention to this, ladies, you

<v Speaker 1>start to notice that he's actually way more active with

<v Speaker 1>you online than he is in person. I have sat

<v Speaker 1>back and witnessed relationships begin like this, and I'm telling

<v Speaker 1>you we're not on the same playing field here. As

<v Speaker 1>soon as you stop watering that plant, lady's, it's going

<v Speaker 1>to die. Trust me. As soon as you stop, the

<v Speaker 1>whole thing stops. But you're so used to manufacturing your

<v Speaker 1>luck you're and having control over the situation, you always

<v Speaker 1>make things seem bigger and more meaningful than they actually are.

<v Speaker 1>Men in this regard are very simple. If he wanted

<v Speaker 1>to take you out, he would simply ask you if

<v Speaker 1>he's going to be bold enough to be responding to

<v Speaker 1>you on social media making advances that he finds you

<v Speaker 1>attractive but says no words towards you. That's not the

<v Speaker 1>type of man that you want to that you want

<v Speaker 1>to pursue you, Because one, it's looking like he's not

<v Speaker 1>pursuing you anyway. All right, he's not telling you anything.

<v Speaker 1>You already do not know that you are obviously attractive

<v Speaker 1>to him. Okay, that's not any brand new information. In

<v Speaker 1>other news, water is wet, all right, So all things considered,

<v Speaker 1>I have watched so many women sabotage themselves because they're

<v Speaker 1>so desperate for relationship that they, you know what, forget it,

<v Speaker 1>I'm just gonna make the first move. And this is

<v Speaker 1>what really just eats me up. When a guy says,

<v Speaker 1>you know, to a woman, you know what, take my

<v Speaker 1>number down, and then you convince yourself, well, obviously he

<v Speaker 1>wanted me to take his number down because he wants

<v Speaker 1>me to. He doesn't want to come across as like

<v Speaker 1>creepy or anything, and he just wants to like remove

<v Speaker 1>any pressure girl.

<v Speaker 2>That is another.

<v Speaker 1>Way that the game has been reinvented to get you

<v Speaker 1>to hit him up first? What's I don't understand, Like,

<v Speaker 1>it's like, dang, if she's thinking about me, let her

<v Speaker 1>hit me up. Then what in the backward society are?

<v Speaker 1>What planet are you living on? Does that make you

<v Speaker 1>feel good? Let me guess you feel so in ConTroll,

<v Speaker 1>don't you? That's the problem. But then you're the same

<v Speaker 1>type of woman that wants to get into a relationship

<v Speaker 1>and have all these traditional standards. Allegedly, you want him

<v Speaker 1>to be able to provide for you, you want him

<v Speaker 1>to be able to protect you. You want all these

<v Speaker 1>different things. But the way you just went about the

<v Speaker 1>game made no sense. He's messaging you mainly and not

<v Speaker 1>even really messaging you. He's breadcrumbing you on Instagram, only

<v Speaker 1>responding emojis to your stories. Maybe you'll get an occasional

<v Speaker 1>couple of words that correspond and that just really eats

<v Speaker 1>you up, that really sends your day and makes your year. Right, Then,

<v Speaker 1>you guys somehow exchange numbers and he gave you his numbers,

<v Speaker 1>so you're texting him like hello, Hello, And let me

<v Speaker 1>tell you this for all my younger angels, if you

<v Speaker 1>genuinely do not want to give your number to a man, listen,

<v Speaker 1>We've all been there, done that. I feel like when

<v Speaker 1>I was younger, I used to do that too. I

<v Speaker 1>used to get asked for my number and I knew

<v Speaker 1>I didn't like the guy. I knew I had no

<v Speaker 1>interest in pursuing a relationship with the guy in any capacity,

<v Speaker 1>but I felt bad in the moment, so I would

<v Speaker 1>give my number away with no intention of actually answering.

<v Speaker 1>Just makes no sense, right, And especially because I would

<v Speaker 1>change my numbers so frequently, I didn't think it was

<v Speaker 1>a big deal because I was like, Okay, by next year,

<v Speaker 1>it's not even gonna be my number anymore. But now

<v Speaker 1>that I have I haven't changed my number in a while,

<v Speaker 1>I'm like, all right, Like you gotta know the answer

<v Speaker 1>is no, and you can simply say I'm in a

<v Speaker 1>relationship right now, like big whoop, Okay.

<v Speaker 2>You don't have to be like sorry, not interested, Oh.

<v Speaker 1>My god, girl, just say I'm in a relationship, thank you,

<v Speaker 1>Like leave it like that. I have a boyfriend usually

<v Speaker 1>always works, right. I know some guys don't, but that

<v Speaker 1>already they already x themselves out, like what's happening over here?

<v Speaker 2>Right, So don't fall for the So you can't have friends.

<v Speaker 2>I don't know. Can your girlfriend have friends like you?

<v Speaker 2>Can yours? All right? That answers itself.

<v Speaker 1>Next, okay, and be strict with your boundaries because men

<v Speaker 1>are not going to do that to us. If a

<v Speaker 1>man is not interested in the slightest bit, you think

<v Speaker 1>he's gonna walk around giving girls his number. Right, Oh

<v Speaker 1>well she was really nice, bro, and I felt really bad,

<v Speaker 1>so I just gave her my number. No, he's gonna say,

<v Speaker 1>he's gonna try and play play it off somehow. Oh sorry,

<v Speaker 1>you know, sorry, I got a girl or anything. Who

<v Speaker 1>knows what the men are gonna say. But the men

<v Speaker 1>are gonna say something. They're not just gonna be handing

<v Speaker 1>out their number and then just ignore them. But we

<v Speaker 1>as women tend to do things like that. All right,

<v Speaker 1>stop doing that. I'm telling you. It's once you do

<v Speaker 1>your first no, it'll start to feel like there's a

<v Speaker 1>flow going on where you'll get used to shutting it down,

<v Speaker 1>and in the end, you'll feel so much better about

<v Speaker 1>yourself because now you relieve yourself and free yourself from

<v Speaker 1>the shackles of having to say things that you don't mean,

<v Speaker 1>and you know you know you're not available and you're

<v Speaker 1>or even interested, and you're just still saying no, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>that's not how that goes. So, like I said, everything

<v Speaker 1>that I was listening off in the beginning was a

<v Speaker 1>strategy that is often used on woman that clearly indicates

<v Speaker 1>strong emotional unavailability. And this is going to create anxiety.

<v Speaker 1>It's going to keep you overthinking. It's going to give

<v Speaker 1>you attachment to the potential of what the relationship could be,

<v Speaker 1>but that potential is not reality. And this is how

<v Speaker 1>you get stuck in situationships. Exactly what I said is

<v Speaker 1>how you end up in situationships before you know it.

<v Speaker 1>You've never been formally asked to be this man's girlfriend,

<v Speaker 1>but it feels like you guys are together because you

<v Speaker 1>told him you don't want to play games after he

<v Speaker 1>breadcrumbed you and you guys have been talking and you've

<v Speaker 1>done most of the initiation of the con of the conversation.

<v Speaker 1>You actually are the one that texted him first. You

<v Speaker 1>are the one that, Hey, I just thought I'd take

<v Speaker 1>this conversation from Instagram to texting because I just saw

<v Speaker 1>you responded to my store and you like my dress

<v Speaker 1>by the way, I got it from fashion. As though

<v Speaker 1>he really cares. Okay, men know exactly what it is

<v Speaker 1>that they're doing. If a man truly wanted to be

<v Speaker 1>with you, he will take you off the market. Please

<v Speaker 1>hear me loud and clear.

<v Speaker 2>Guys.

<v Speaker 1>There have been many things reinvented, but it's always the

<v Speaker 1>same difference.

<v Speaker 2>Baby.

<v Speaker 1>If he truly wanted you off the market, he would

<v Speaker 1>make sure that he takes you off the market. Confusion

<v Speaker 1>is a breeding ground for deception, always and forever. If

<v Speaker 1>you are confused, that is an answer, all right. If

<v Speaker 1>you are always initiating conversation, that is an answer. That

<v Speaker 1>is that shows you where you rank in this man's life.

<v Speaker 1>You feeling like you need to unlock the Da Vinci

<v Speaker 1>code to figure out what he means because he didn't

<v Speaker 1>grow up like this, and you understand that men don't

<v Speaker 1>really communicate certain things.

<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, no no. A man that truly wants you.

<v Speaker 1>All of a sudden is going to be the best

<v Speaker 1>communicator possible all of a sudden. He's the most understanding

<v Speaker 1>that you've ever you know, encountered. Do you ever witness

<v Speaker 1>You've never witnessed that though, right, because how would you know?

<v Speaker 1>But I'm here to tell you that that's how it

<v Speaker 1>goes all of a sudden. The things that you thought

<v Speaker 1>were too much from the last person is just very

<v Speaker 1>easy for this guy to do. If he wanted to,

<v Speaker 1>he would a tale as old as time, a sentence

<v Speaker 1>that should be put probably on your vision board and

<v Speaker 1>probably on your wall of affirmations. If he wanted to,

<v Speaker 1>he would, ladies, and that's always in forever, all right. Yes,

<v Speaker 1>there are certain things you know when you're in a

<v Speaker 1>relationship that you should say right not nag about. But

<v Speaker 1>when it comes to being in a relationship, a man

<v Speaker 1>is never going to keep you wondering what are we?

<v Speaker 2>What are we?

<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, it's been six months. I feel like

<v Speaker 1>we are a couple, but he just never really asked me.

<v Speaker 1>I feel like he never really asked me because he

<v Speaker 1>already knows what we are. But I feel like I

<v Speaker 1>should tell him that I do want to be asked.

<v Speaker 2>Cool. I'm here to tell you.

<v Speaker 1>That a man that's serious about you is going to

<v Speaker 1>make sure he asks that question. He's not going to

<v Speaker 1>leave you wondering, you know, are we together around because

<v Speaker 1>he wants to define it, because he understands what the definition.

<v Speaker 2>Of that comes with commitment. He understands that.

<v Speaker 1>Now this means it's up for you and other guys

<v Speaker 1>because you're with me. He understands that, But you don't.

<v Speaker 1>You think that there is room here for some sort

<v Speaker 1>of change. Baby, I'm sorry, but it's done for you.

<v Speaker 1>Even if you find your flow for a little bit,

<v Speaker 1>you're going to start.

<v Speaker 2>To lose momentum.

<v Speaker 1>I'm telling you the truth here, because at the end

<v Speaker 1>of the day, you don't want a man that's always

<v Speaker 1>going to respond to ultimatums.

<v Speaker 2>Okay, that's one. Two.

<v Speaker 1>You don't want to feel like, man, if I don't

<v Speaker 1>water this, it's going to just die. And you know

<v Speaker 1>that probably in your case, it probably will accept the

<v Speaker 1>fact that maybe you messed up, and you know you

<v Speaker 1>got to kind of start over. It's okay, It's not

<v Speaker 1>the end of the world here, all right. This isn't original,

<v Speaker 1>but having the awareness makes all of the difference. If

<v Speaker 1>you've ever felt confused or anxious, or you're constantly checking

<v Speaker 1>your phone, you were not crazy. You were being breadcrumbed.

<v Speaker 1>If you're wondering why he hearted your outfit on Instagram

<v Speaker 1>but he didn't respond to your text message, you're not

<v Speaker 1>crazy because he's obviously texting you just enough to keep

<v Speaker 1>you around every other day. He's so busy with work,

<v Speaker 1>he's having all these things too. Oh he thought he

<v Speaker 1>responded to this text. He's showing interest and then he disappears.

<v Speaker 1>He's avoiding the clarity. But he's not necessarily letting you go.

<v Speaker 1>And that's where we really go wrong. Well, if he

<v Speaker 1>didn't want to talk to me, then he would just

<v Speaker 1>stop to Now, that's not how it's going to be,

<v Speaker 1>especially if he's getting the goods right, especially if he

<v Speaker 1>knows in the back of his mind, I can probably

<v Speaker 1>get away with leaning in a little bit more, getting what.

<v Speaker 2>I want and leaving it right there, freezing it right there.

<v Speaker 1>I don't have to go move a step further, and

<v Speaker 1>I can still add a body, and I don't have

<v Speaker 1>to worry about the commitment. We have to stop thinking

<v Speaker 1>that as woman that Well, if he didn't want to

<v Speaker 1>talk to me, then he would just stop speaking to me. No,

<v Speaker 1>because with men they operate differently. There are men who

<v Speaker 1>follow probably a bunch of their exes on social media

<v Speaker 1>just because they don't hate them. They just follow them

<v Speaker 1>like it kind of is what it is. It's like

<v Speaker 1>this neutral energy. They really kind of don't care, right

<v Speaker 1>if you feel like well, if he didn't like me,

<v Speaker 1>then why is he still here. Well, it's the same

<v Speaker 1>reason why you keep giving yourself your number to men

<v Speaker 1>that you.

<v Speaker 2>Don't even really like.

<v Speaker 1>Right in your own way, in his own way, that's

<v Speaker 1>what he's doing. Oh, well, I know that this is

<v Speaker 1>a guaranteed body that I can add. She's already shown

<v Speaker 1>interest in me. Why would I throw that in the dumps?

<v Speaker 1>But you're looking at it from the angle of well,

<v Speaker 1>obviously it feels like we're together for so long because

<v Speaker 1>we like talk on and off for the past couple

<v Speaker 1>of months. Babe, you literally have barely dated this man.

<v Speaker 1>You guys went for a walk and got ice cream

<v Speaker 1>two times, had a couple brief conversations via texts, and

<v Speaker 1>you've turned it into a whole relationship.

<v Speaker 2>Astonishing.

<v Speaker 1>Really, you have manufactured your way into trying to get

<v Speaker 1>a date out of this man, and now you think

<v Speaker 1>that you're actually together, and one day some of you

<v Speaker 1>are going to find yourself in the wrong relationship. You're

<v Speaker 1>gonna be with a man that's a oopsie daisy man.

<v Speaker 1>You know what, I thought, this is what I wanted,

<v Speaker 1>But then I realize I actually don't want this at all.

<v Speaker 2>You wanted this. I'm dumping you now. That's gonna sting.

<v Speaker 2>All right.

<v Speaker 1>You have to understand that we're not trying to become

<v Speaker 1>them aka men in order to win. But what we

<v Speaker 1>have to do is recognize the behavior and we opt out.

<v Speaker 1>It is our job and our duty to not reward inconsistency.

<v Speaker 1>It is our job to stop romanticizing confusion. There is

<v Speaker 1>no confusion with a man that actually wants you, There's none,

<v Speaker 1>trust me. You have to choose clarity over the chemistry.

<v Speaker 1>There's going to be a lot of people in your

<v Speaker 1>life that you will have chemistry with. It does not

<v Speaker 1>mean compatibility, It does not mean suitability, and it certainly

<v Speaker 1>does not mean that you should be with that person.

<v Speaker 1>All right, Consistency equals real interest.

<v Speaker 2>Over time.

<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's what it is. We're not off to the

<v Speaker 1>races here rushing a million things. You're gonna feel calm

<v Speaker 1>in the dynamic and the second things.

<v Speaker 2>Change tap into that.

<v Speaker 1>Maybe that's the second where things do change, because that

<v Speaker 1>also is possible. But realize, at the end of the day, man,

<v Speaker 1>I do not want to create love and romantic and

<v Speaker 1>romanticize things where I'm actually doing it myself. I've created

<v Speaker 1>this dynamic myself when the truth of the matter is

<v Speaker 1>I'm not this man's girlfriend. Yes, it feels like we

<v Speaker 1>are boyfriend and girlfriend. I'm going over his house, I'm

<v Speaker 1>spending the night at his home. You're doing all these things.

<v Speaker 1>You know why, because you can't keep your legs closed.

<v Speaker 1>So all of a sudden you're confused. On top of

<v Speaker 1>you already having a very colorful imagination now when you

<v Speaker 1>add those things to the mix. So no wonder this

<v Speaker 1>stuff happens. Right Listen, We're going to get into more

<v Speaker 1>topics like this. I want to talk about attachment styles.

<v Speaker 1>I want to talk about what it's like to date

<v Speaker 1>an avoidant man as well. So let me know if

<v Speaker 1>those are things that you guys do want to see.

<v Speaker 1>I will be sure to get going on those podcast episodes.

<v Speaker 1>If you are listening to this episode, make sure that

<v Speaker 1>you give it a five star review anywhere that you

<v Speaker 1>were listening to this episode, and if you're watching it,

<v Speaker 1>of course, make sure you HiPE that video up and like, comment, subscribe,

<v Speaker 1>share the friend. With that being said, do not forget

<v Speaker 1>that I love you and God loves you. I'll see

<v Speaker 1>you beautiful angels in my next podcast episode,