one in the wedding party I think grabbed a microphone and she said, " Hey, everybody.

I just want to let you guys know we have paused the cake cutting for now," there's

some heated, You need to say blah, blah, blah." So she like anxiously picks the

mic back up and she's like, if you have a piece of cake, please stop eating it."

everybody's eyes get big as saucers.

People are eating it.

You could hear like forks drop.

it was so just quiet hysteria, if that's a thing.

so come to find out they had found that the cake was full of shattered glass.

Ooh.

Hi, Lauren.

Thanks for being here.

Thanks for having me.

I'm so excited to talk to you because I have seen your, skits so long on social

media, and I think you're hilarious.

And I think, like- Thank you … the characters that

you portray are very funny.

So before I get into all that- Thank you and for anyone that's watching,

I was just saying this to Lauren before, like, I'm trying a new camera,

so if I keep looking down, I'm here.

I'm just trying to figure out where my eyes need to go.

And same

with, and same with me.

It's here, but I'm here, so we're all over the place, and that's totally fine.

We're in it together.

Yeah.

As long as you can hear us and see us, we're good.

Yes … so can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself?

And then we're gonna kinda get into all the things.

Yeah.

So I used to be a teacher.

I taught kindergarten, first, and third.

And I got to the point where there was so much going on in the classroom,

like I know so many teachers, that are still in the trenches nowadays

know exactly what I'm talking about.

I got to the point where I was like, "I can't do this for, 25, 27 more years."

so I started a tutoring business, and I was able to leave the classroom six

months later after starting my tutoring business and go full-time with that.

And, after that, I built an online course to teach other teachers how

to start a tutoring business like I did, and free up their lives and

their schedules and make more money.

And, After that, after I built the online course, I got onto social media

to kind of talk about my tutoring journey and give helpful tips and tricks, and

talk about my course that I'd built.

and one day out of the blue, I made a funny, skit type, video on, demands

from principals and how funny it would be if a teacher just said no.

it was funny 'cause I was getting ready to give up social media altogether.

I just didn't feel like it was working or I just didn't

think it was doing really well.

And that was my first viral video, and I was like, "Okay, I'll stick

around." and so then I started having teachers send me their stories.

So I would throw in a, couple other skits that had happened to me, true stories.

getting called out for, leaving one minute after contract time or,

getting in trouble for stupid things.

And teachers were really relating to that.

And after a few more of those skits went out, like I said, teachers had

started sending me their stories, and just crazy things out there.

And so I decided to use the platform I was building to give people a

look behind the curtain into what it really is like as a teacher.

And so while I s- still talk about my tutoring journey, my social media

has kind of just transformed into now telling unbelievable, funny,

crazy teacher stories, that are shared with me, and they're all true.

And so that's what I do now.

I love that.

I feel like we're, like, in similar spaces, but different, like, areas.

Like, I do more wedding events and you do school, like, teaching.

Yes.

And I think it really, like you said, like, opens up the curtain to

kind of show what really goes on.

Yeah.

Because people are only, seeing one side of it.

Whether they have kids in school or their last memory was when they

were in school, I think it's really important to see all sides of it.

And as we all know, teachers have a very hard time.

Mm-hmm.

And they're put in very not so great situations.

Yes.

Yeah … so when you read these stories back, are you, like, brought back to

where you were when you were teaching and kind of like, "Oh my gosh, I

remember dealing with that" or, do you kind of like, you're kind of like,

"Okay, I'm glad I kind of moved on from that kind of area in my life"?

Yes.

But when I read those stories, a part of me will always be taken back to

those feelings of, know, in a classroom sometimes it can feel like, the way that

a school is run, it can kind of feel like customer's always right mentality, where

it's like the parents are the customers and the families are the customers.

And, Yeah, I think it brings me back to the anxieties of those feelings

where you can't really speak your mind, and you can't really set boundaries

with people who aren't willing to have boundaries set with them.

Mm-hmm.

And, so I think what I do is I say the outrageous things.

I say the out-of-pocket responses that these teachers wish that

they could say, to parents to give them that kind of outlet.

Like, "Man, I'm really glad she said… I can't say that, but

I'm really glad she did." Mm-hmm.

so I, do think I do that.

I do that for my past self that couldn't say those things, because

I really struggled in those situations and I do that for the

people that are still there now, so.

It's like that validation.

And I feel like, like you said, you get so many stories sent in to you.

You've probably become this like safe space now for people to vent about,

like, a situation that happened, whether they were a parent, a student,

a teacher, or, dealt with something.

And you are teaching respectful boundaries, too.

Because I think so many times in those scenarios- Mm-hmm … you're like, " How

can I show a boundary and also be respectful, do my job?" And so I think

it's the impact you're making, too.

Because of course it's, like, entertaining, but

it's also impacting people.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Yeah, I feel so honored.

Whenever someone shares their story with me, I, just feel really honored, that they

felt that they could do that and to have that space for them to be able to do that.

And yeah, I do get a lot, like you said, a lot of people just venting, too.

Like, "Please don't share this. I just needed to tell you." … and

I'm really honored to, to be able to give people that space to do that.

Okay, the character that you have That kind of, like, says it like it is.

Yeah, Miss Bunker.

She's got the filter.

Yes.

Is that who you're thinking of?

Okay.

Yes.

So how did that- Yeah … was she in one of your first skits?

Or did she kind of just over time, you're like, "I need someone like this

that's just gonna, like- Cutthroat

Yeah.

So, well, it's funny, she didn't start out as cutthroat.

So let me back up a little bit.

Snapchat was rolling out really funny, filters, you know?

And filters became a thing within the last however many years.

But anyway, they would constantly roll out with new ones, and they came out

with the one that Ms. Bunker wears now.

And in my family, we were sending back that filter every day,

and we were dying laughing.

We just thought it was the funniest filter.

And I was like, man, if I could make a character that has this filter,

I just think it would be so funny.

And so I kind of workshopped a little bit a new character, and

wrote a skit and I filmed a skit of this new teacher coming in.

And she was super nice, but she had this crazy filter and really scared people.

And after I edited it and put it together, I was kind of like, actually,

this isn't the vibe I'm wanting to give.

It almost gives, like, ostracizing her or, or like- Mm … other teachers

talking about this really nice teacher.

I was like, that's not the vibe I'm looking for.

so I let it rest for a little bit, and then I was telling a story

someone sent in about that teacher that's constantly raising their

hand at the end of a meeting.

Like, "Okay, any more questions? It's time to go," and that teacher

is just constantly like, " Well, have you thought about this?

Well, what about that?"

And, everybody's just pissed and wants to go home.

And so I was telling that story and I was like, well, I need a fill-in.

I need a character to be the one to be raising their hand, and so

I just slapped the filter on this character And, people hated her.

They hated her.

And so then I made this…

She became reoccurring where it was like the brown-noser teacher.

We all know them, and the brown-noser coworker, and always

trying to suck up to the boss, and always trying to right thing.

And so that was her character at first, and then throughout, the storyline and

just different stories, I kind of had a moment where she just snapped and

was like, " I'm not dealing with this,"

So she's become now a hero.

She was the anti-hero, and now she's become the hero

for teachers, which I love.

So.

I love that.

I love a story where they can come out in the end and like, make a change-

Mm-hmm … and now people are, like, rooting for her, 'cause I saw, like,

your merch with her, and I saw…

I was like, "That-" … "is awesome.

That is so cool." 'Cause

I would need to update that, by the way, because when it first came out,

when sh- I first made merch for her, it said, "Don't be a bunker," 'cause

it was like- Ugh … people know you don't wanna be the Miss Bunker.

Don't be the suck-up.

But now it's like, mm, people kind of wanna be her, so I've gotta

make an adjustment to that, so.

Yes.

Oh my gosh, that's so funny.

And so, like, with creating these skits, do you… I know you get a lot of stories,

but then do you do a mix of, like, your own creativity or, like, kind of, put

your own, like, personal stories into it?

Or do you try to stick pretty closely with what people send over to you?

Yeah.

Well, so in the beginning, I stuck really closely to the story.

And, I was kind of putting a little twist on the end of what we wish

we could say, and then I started doing… I kind of have, dabbled

with it as I've gone, but then there were times I was doing some series.

and then there were some times where I was just writing from my own brain,

and I was trying to make that clear.

Like, in the caption I would say, I would always disclose, "This is a true story

sent to me," or, "Based on a true story," or, "Inspired by a true story." And after

that, I always put in parentheses like with added flair because obviously there's

outrageous things that happen in these.

They are based on true stories, yes, but I add in some crazy details just give

the story a little bit more substance.

But I have dabbled.

I have done some just made-up stories in my own head.

and I've recently gone back to, in the last maybe couple months, just

telling true teacher stories because I have so many that need to be told.

And, yeah, I think I just enjoy that a lot more right now, so

that's what I've been doing.

I love that.

Were you elementary school teaching, like, multiple subjects?

Or what, grade level and subjects

were you- Oh, yes.

So when I taught in the schools, I taught kindergarten, first, and third.

I taught the little ones.

and then when I tutored, I taught, anywhere from K through, I think even

had, like, a seventh grader one time.

but mostly focused on, like, reading and math.

but I don't tutor anymore.

I do help teachers with my course.

but I don't tutor anymore.

I'm just strictly social media now.

Love that.

I love that.

Mm-hmm.

And like I said, I just feel like you're making such a difference.

I don't know if you feel like that, but, like, if, for example, when I first

started doing content, like, I had people being like, the negative Nancys out

there be like, " Oh, you're just sharing toxic behavior, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, and you're just complaining."

But then I've had people say the opposite, and they'd be like, " No, you're drawing,

like, you're helping people come to, like, their own boundaries, and communicate

better with people that are maybe crossing over boundaries and not being

respectful." and so I feel like this kind of content can be really beneficial

for, like, the education system.

And, you would hope it would make some kind of impact.

Or maybe people that are teachers right now being like, "Okay, this is how I can

talk to a parent and have a communication also, or talk to the principal and ask

for different things in the classroom." again- Right … I haven't been a

teacher, so I don't, I'm sure that's very difficult working with a higher up

system where it has to be a certain way

Yeah, yeah.

also have gotten the same response.

I've gotten, you know, "Why are we just showing bad parents, and why are we just

showing negative admin? There's good admin out there, too." And it's like,

yeah, um, I'm really happy for teachers that, have good parents and good admin

and they're in a really good space.

But for those in the trenches, it's not like that.

That's not their reality.

Mm-hmm.

And just like you do, I think that you bring awareness to toxicity,

dysfunctional systems, and how we can find our voice within those, and

I just think that's so important.

Yeah, yeah.

I love that.

yeah, social media is, like, such an interesting thing

'cause I feel like there's this negative side to it, of course.

Like, and people that maybe don't work in it or see it

kind of can look down upon it.

But I feel like it really- Mm-hmm … brings to light a lot of conversations

that need to be had or should be had.

Or, like, when you showcase some kind of situation in the classroom, people

will be like, " I didn't realize that was happening," or, "I didn't realize

teachers were spoken to like that."

Mm-hmm.

And I think it really opens up people's eyes to things, in a different

way, where people aren't gonna necessarily read an article about it.

They're gonna be like, "Oh, this skit's entertaining.

Oh, wait, a teacher actually had

this happen to them." Yeah.

Exactly.

And I think some of the best comments and messages I get are when people

go, " You have taught me how to not treat my son's teacher," or, "You

have taught me to be the opposite."

And so these parents reach out to me and they're like, "I, have gone 100%

the other way in trying to do everything that you're not and make my, son's

teacher's life easier." And that is, like, just so great to know and hear.

I love that.

Okay, so I always like to do a red light, green light with guests that come on.

And so I thought we would do- Okay … like, a teacher edition since

you're… I don't even know if we said, your account is Burnt Out Teachers.

yeah

… so for anyone that doesn't follow you, they need to check it out because

the skits are hilarious, but it's also like- … a lot of, like we were

saying, like, you can learn a lot from it, but they're so well done.

So for this- Thank you … red light green light edition,

we're gonna do teacher edition.

So I'm gonna read something off, and then you're just gonna say if

it's a red light or a green light.

okay.

Okay.

Red light being bad, green light being good.

Yes.

Is there any context with… That's it?

Okay.

All right.

That's it, yes.

parent emails at 11:59 PM expecting a reply.

Red light.

Did this happen?

Red, red, red.

This happens all the time, or on Remind they send messages, or I had

a story where a teacher, received a Facebook message at, like, 12:00 AM.

It was like, "Hey, can you help my kid with their homework?" Oh- Red light.

Immediate.

See, that's what I could not understand.

It's like, you know, when I was a kid in school, it's like we

didn't have social media, right?

And so, I think it came out when I was in college, and I'm

just like… late high school.

I can't imagine, having a parent find me on social media as a teacher.

I feel like that's so, like, crossing a- So

invasive.

Yes, like please do not.

I remember a college, professor of mine who was actually really

cool and I liked her a lot.

She wanted us, like, afterwards she was like, "Oh yeah, you guys can add me on,

Facebook or whatever." And I was like, "I don't know, I feel like this is weird."

But she was super cool.

Right,

you gotta give it some time.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give it some time.

When I'm out of college years later.

parent brings a gift at the end of the year.

Oh, green light.

Yeah.

But what's the gift?

Because I will say do not bring a gift or a bag from Victoria's

Secret or some sort of sex toy for your son's teacher, because that is

always, always, always inappropriate.

Wait, is that something-

In that case it would be a red light, but a green light- Don't say that's

happened … sound is great for this one.

That feels like that shouldn't have to be said.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

You just wouldn't believe.

teachers get these fake roses, and at the end of the day they, like, go

to open it and it's actually, like, six pairs of red underwear folded

in to make it look like a rose.

And

people are like, "Yeah,

this is a

great idea." This

stuff.

This is great, yeah.

It's great.

Oh my gosh.

Mm-hmm.

So don't do that, guys.

a class clown who's actually funny.

Mm, green light.

Green light, but timing depends.

Yeah.

It's all about the timing.

Yeah.

Yes.

teachers having a favorite student.

they mentioning it out loud or is it just an inner thought?

Um,

probably just having it, like, probably just an inner thought.

That's how I would take it.

Unless

it- I mean, you're human.

You're a human.

Green light.

I'm

sure you kind of, yeah.

I'm sure, like, as long as there's not, like, special treatment,

'cause those were very obvious.

Exactly.

Like, in high school when they had favorite students you could tell,

like- That's a red light, yeah

special privileges.

Yeah, all that stuff.

Reusing last year's lesson plans.

Oh, green light.

Go for it.

Yes.

Pop quizzes.

Mm, I think if they're used the right way and not as, like,

a punishment, green light.

But it just depends on the context.

Yeah.

Like, if you're just trying to catch your kids.

I don't know.

I, I think it just depends.

I taught the little ones, so I didn't really do pop quizzes like that.

I just think of, like, the old crotchety,

Mm-hmm

… " Pop quiz" kind of thing.

Yes.

So I don't know.

I,

I feel like I remember, like, a math teacher one time, like, people were,

like, just extra chatty and, like, talking back, and they're like, "Okay,

we're gonna do a pop quiz since none of you guys are listening," and I

I'm already a bad test-taker, so pop quiz- … I'm, I'm out the door.

I-

Yeah

… just never meant-

No, I get that level of frustration, though, like, trying to make, teach

a lesson or, corral them in some way.

But, yeah, I think it just depends.

Yeah.

parent DM'ing you on social media.

Red light.

A substitute le-

Absolutely red light.

Yeah, that's weird to me.

a substitute leaving a bad note about your class

yellow light.

I mean, I would want my substitute to be honest with how it was.

obviously it's not great to get a bad note.

Like, nothing starts your day off worse when you walk in, you've been gone.

But, I think she needs to go ahead and do that.

So green light.

Yeah.

So green light.

I think she needs to do that, for sure.

Communication,

Mm-hmm.

Do you get a lot of substitute teacher stories sent to

oh, hmm.

I'm struggling to think of some, so not as many as I think.

I've had some.

Yeah.

But none that are, like, off the top of my head right now.

I can think of my own story when I was in high school.

we had a substitute teacher one day, and this woman pulled her chair

over in front of the door and sat down in front of it and fell asleep.

So no one could leave without her waking up, but she didn't do

anything, and we just all hung out.

I don't know.

Oh

my It was crazy.

Yeah.

Oh my

gosh.

That's gotta be, like… I remember having, like, a really mean substitute

teacher in, I think it was, like, English class in, like, high school.

But then I also had, like, sympathy for her too, because she was younger.

I remember her being, like, in her 20s.

And I just can only imagine, like, all these, like, high school, like,

maybe some were bratty, I don't know, coming in and, like, not listening.

I feel like that's probably just a difficult situation.

You don't know the students.

If you catch them on a day where they're just not listening-

Exactly … and you just

have to put the

foot down or you have to do a test, like, I-

Yeah.

They don't care.

it…

Substituting is not for the weak, and then also substituting high school, like,

you must have a death wish because- … I could not think of anything worse.

That is… And

like, I remember we had a substitute for my math class, It was an older man.

He fell out of his chair when he went to go sit down, and I felt- Oh,

no.

That's really sad … 50 feet from him.

Yeah, I felt so bad.

I was like- Oh … you're already- Oh,

no.

Yeah, it was already, like, an uncomfortable scenario.

Like, yeah.

Oh, that makes me want to cry.

I- That's so sad.

I know.

I think he laughed it off.

He, like, handled it okay, but I was just like- Yeah … oh my gosh.

Would

be, like, my nightmare.

a student calling you by your first name

Mm-mm.

Red light.

Yeah.

But I know in some schools like Montessori, that's, a welcome thing.

Mm-hmm.

And I can get down with that.

So yellow light.

I'm gonna say yellow light.

Yeah.

I know.

And my cousins that went to school in Oklahoma, they were like, "We always

called our teachers by first name."

So they were like, that's how they introduced themselves.

And I remember- Yeah.

Yeah.

So that's-

For me, it wasn't until, like, college.

Like, professors in college would be like, like the cool ones, they'd be

like, " Oh, you can call me James," or whatever. And I'd be like, " Okay." Yeah,

I'm uncomfy.

Yeah.

I can't do that.

Sorry, Mr. Jones.

Yeah.

Last one, and this might be putting you on the spot, so if

you don't have one, that's okay.

What would you say your most- Okay … controversial green light or red

light is that people would not expect?

It might not even be controversial.

Mm. What's something that's like a, either a hot take or something

in your classroom that you were like, " This is for sure-" Oh, God

"a con. This is for sure a not, not."

Oh my gosh.

See, it's really hard 'cause it's been a really long time

since I've been in the classroom.

one thing that I can think of, things that really pushed my boundaries and

buttons when I was teaching, was don't walk your kid to class every day.

we're trying to build and foster independence, and, in April, your

child does not need you to send them off into my classroom each day.

Because unfortunately, parents like that will still try and push, and push,

and push, and then before you know it, they're in your classroom and they're

asking you what you're gonna do that day and what… Like, so that's a no-go.

Parties during the day, school day, no-go.

and I think my green light in my classroom was, when I think back, is being silly.

Like, we laughed a lot in my classroom, and, also having that good balance of,

expectations and hard work paired with it.

I just felt like it made a really good balance.

But I think it's really good to laugh and to have your kids see you laugh.

Mm-hmm.

and yeah, make them do silly things.

It was so fun to get my kids to do the weirdest things.

Like, we would line up for recess, and I had first graders at the time,

and, there was one day before we went out to recess, I was like, "We are

not going outside until you whisper, ' I smell like beef and cheese.'"

And so the whole line of kids just whispered it to themselves like, " What

the heck?" It makes me laugh still, thinking about, like, them going home

and telling, "Yeah, like, Miss Liard made us whisper we smell like beef and cheese

today." So just, like, be really weird.

Just be weird.

I think weirdness- Yeah

in your classroom is fun, and that's, yeah, that's the best I can do for

you for my red and green lights.

No, I think that's good.

Well, 'cause I think, too, especially in first grade, I feel

like that's, like, still babies.

Like, they're still young.

Like, have fun at school.

Like, gonna be in school or work the rest of their life.

Like, why not make it fun and enjoyable?

Mm-hmm

… I remember years ago, 'cause when I was in my elementary school, and maybe it

was the same for you, but, like, I don't remember getting any, like, homework or

anything like that in elementary school.

But then all of a sudden it was like kindergarten, they're coming

home with, like, homework, and I was like, let's still make it fun, you

Yeah … my daughter

has a-

Yeah

… few years before she's in elementary school, but I'm, like,

just interested to see, you know, how that's kind of, changed.

I know.

it's-

Yeah, it'll be so interesting.

But yeah.

Yeah.

f- I love that you did that because I feel like school at that age, too,

it's like it's all about learning through, like, fun, and I feel

like it should be fun for them.

Yeah, 100%.

Okay.

So as we talk about, like, wedding and event stories, I know you said

you had a wedding story that- You wanted to share, so let's have at it

Mm. I have two.

I love it.

And, the first one was we went to a wedding years ago, and the best man

c- went to the front to do the speech, and his aura just gave, unprepared.

Like, you could just tell.

He didn't have any notes.

He didn't exude confidence or, like, I'm ready to do this.

And, he got up to the front

He joked about not having a speech at first, and he went to walk off and

realized, like, that wasn't gonna fly.

So he awkwardly… Well, I think this was his plan the whole time.

But so he went to walk off.

It was so awkward.

No one laughed.

And he was like, "Just kidding." And he came back up to the front

and he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and he unraveled it,

and he was like, "Nope, that's not it," and he tossed it to the side.

And then he reached in his other pocket and he pulled out a piece

of paper and he unraveled it.

And we're all sitting here, like… You know when you, like, you could

just crawl out of your own skin?

you have such secondhand embarrassment for someone.

You just-

Yeah … ugh.

So he pulls this second piece of paper out.

He unravels it.

He's like, "Nope, that's not it," like, trying to be so funny.

he takes his shoe off.

He pulls a piece of paper out of his shoe.

He unravels it.

He's like, "Hmm, that's not it." And then I'm not even kidding, okay?

I'm not even kidding.

He probably did this, like, four or five more times.

No.

Finally, he pulled… Yes.

No.

And it was like you could hear a pin drop.

It was so dead silent.

so the final thing he did was he pulled a piece of paper out that

was rolled behind his ear, and we were like, "This has gotta be it.

This has gotta be it.

This is the speech." And he unravels it, and he was like, "Nope.

Well, good luck to you guys, and wish you nothing but the best," and walked off.

Stop.

That was it.

That's

awful.

It was dead silent.

It was dead silent, and everyone was just like-

Oh, he couldn't even say like- Like- … congrats you two, best wish?

Like, did the groom or bride make a face, or the couple?

It was so uncomfortable for everyone.

they were just like, "Eh." Like, the kid was a loose cannon.

You could just tell.

It was like, you didn't know what he was capable of kind of thing.

Oh- And-

… my gosh

… yeah, so that was really, that's one that stands out to me.

But this one takes the cake literally.

So we were at a wedding recently, and they were serving cake.

It was at the point in the wedding where they're serving cake, and, they

were doing it where it was kind of like they were cutting the cake towards

the back, and then they had a table.

They were laying the cut slices out on the table, and people were just kind

of walking up, grabbing a slice, and taking it back to their table to eat.

And my husband walks up to grab a piece of cake, and I can see

him standing there waiting, for a piece to slide out on the table.

And everything, you could see everything happening back there, and everyone had

kind of halted, and there were whispers.

they weren't cutting any more pieces of cake.

And my husband turns to me, and kind of makes a face like, "What the

heck?" And I'm like, "Well, I wanted cake." so he comes back over to me

like, "I don't know what's going on.

They stopped cutting the cake." So, one in the wedding party I think grabbed

a microphone and she said, " Hey, everybody. I just want to let you

guys know we have paused the cake cutting for now," just awkwardly.

Like, "Just wanted to let you know." And so she goes to put the mic down,

and the girl nudges her like, "No, you need to…" Like, there's some heated,

You need to say blah, blah, blah." So she like anxiously picks the mic

back up and she's like, if you have a piece of cake, please stop eating it."

Yeah.

so of course mass just everybody's eyes get big as saucers.

People are eating it.

You could hear like forks drop.

it was so just quiet hysteria, if that's a thing.

so come to find out they had found that the cake was full of shattered glass.

Ooh.

Full of shattered glass.

Oh, my.

So I don't know if when the cake was being mixed, the person doing

it, something had broken, and it got swept into the cake, into the mixer.

It was a ton of glass.

Oh.

We overheard people talking, but they were like, "Yeah, the cake cutters were

saying they were hearing the crunching- Oh

as they were cutting the pieces of cake, and they just thought

it was, sugar crystals."

Oh,

my.

And there were women at tables next to ours who were like, "Yeah, I got a really

hard crunchy piece. I just ate it."

Oh my gosh

yeah, that was really bad, and I've never been so thankful that my husband missed

out on a piece of cake, And how psycho I am, like I couldn't have m- imagine having

gotten a piece of that cake and eaten it.

Mm-hmm.

Even if there wasn't any glass in it, I didn't have a piece of cake, and I was

like, "Did I eat glass? Did I accidentally eat glass today?" So I can't imagine

if I had actually had a piece- Right

of the cake, because I would've had to go to the ER.

I would've literally

been like- I would've had to go to

the ER.

Yeah.

I might have been Yeah … all the way.

I would've literally been like, "Okay, I feel it in my teeth," or something.

Like-

Yeah.

… even within the water.

It's

cutting my… It, yeah.

it's slicing up my stomach.

I can feel it.

kids were eating the cake.

I mean, so many people had already gotten a piece of the cake.

I just… I guess everyone's fine, you know?

We didn't hear anything, so.

Yeah.

I'm wondering, like I wanna know more about like, was it a bakery?

Was it like someone they just knew, or like-

I know.

I know … I don't know

… a bakery to like not double check and then send it off to a wedding.

And did they have… So the cake cutters were from the bakery,

or they're part of the venue?

Oh, that's a good question.

I think they were part of the venue.

They were- And that's- … themselves.

So they, which would explain why they cut.

They were like, "Oh, this is normal," like…

Right.

Yeah, I don't think they knew anything.

That's wild.

Yeah.

At least they caught it before like everyone had it, and like hopefully

there were no like injuries.

Oh my gosh.

I know, I know.

New fear unlocked.

All right.

Yeah.

Check your food for glass, everybody.

Yes.

You just never know.

Seriously.

Oh my gosh.

I'm thinking of that one scary movie where she like… This is

gross, but she like thought it was an apple, but her mind tricked her

and it was actually a light bulb.

That's giving like- Oh,

what was that?

… me, like, the creeps.

Wait, you just, unlocked a memory for me.

It was so long ago I saw it, but it was something where they like

mess with your mind, and I remember her picking up an apple, but

then it j- was like a light bulb.

And I remember watching that and being like, "Oh my gosh, that's like the-

Oh

Yeah.

Out of all the scary movies I've seen, that is a nightmare.

That is a nightmare.

God.

All

right.

Well, that, those definitely take the cake.

Those are some- Okay.

It's time to react to a wild story that someone sent.

Great … feel free to stop me at any time.

I'll kinda pause as things happen too, and then we'll-

Mm-hmm

… give advice if they need it.

Okay.

Okay.

Here

we go.

" My future mother-in-law, we'll call her Diane, has been a

headache for a long time.

She's standoffish, but puts on a nice face around others.

She has never liked me.

When my fiance, Jake, told her he planned to propose, she cried and said

I was stealing him away from her."

Oh, God, the famous- Oh,

gag me.

Ugh.

" We took her, her to look at wedding venues one day." See, someone like

that, that I knew didn't like me, I would never bring them along.

I'd be like- Why

is she included?

Yeah.

Why is she included?

If

you don't like me, you don't get to support me or be a part of this.

Sorry.

No.

" She constantly criticized my dream venue.

At the second venue, when we jokingly did an exaggerated waltz after being

shown the dance floor, she scolded us.

After that day, we stopped including her in planning.

That was just the beginning- Okay … almost two years ago.

In all that time, she has barely asked about the wedding unless it

was about herself, her dress, her hair, her makeup, or her schedule.

Now we're three weeks out from the wedding.

She was dog sitting for us and saw the seating chart I spent hours making." Oh,

no.

Here we go.

The dreaded seating chart.

Yes.

Sh- I could just picture her, okay, moving here, like, moving these all around.

Oh, God.

" Her immediate reaction was to panic and call Jake demanding he make me redo

it because she didn't like her table."

Ugh.

"When he said no, she said horrible things, threatening not to dog sit again,

saying he should be ashamed, and that he's not the son she raised." I can,

like, picture- Mm … this woman, ugh.

Yeah.

Oh, I know exactly what she looks like, yeah.

Yeah.

" And that she would keep up appearances until the wedding, but be done with

him afterward," over a seating chart.

That's

w- Disowning your kid for where you're sitting at their

wedding is psychotic, lady.

you're lucky you're even invited.

Jesus.

She needs to be studied.

Like, this-

Well, I mean,

and I've had, like, therapists on before with similar stories,

and they're like, it's that enmeshment where they feel like- Yes

their son is, literally, like, an- a limb.

They will do as I say." An

extension of them, yes.

Mm-hmm.

Yep.

Yes.

And they can't separate- Um … that they're their own person.

No.

It's, like, scary.

after hearing that, I decided to text her.

Oh, no, girl.

Oh, no, that's not good.

Not good.

Yeah.

Not good.

I had already asked my mom and my maid of honor for advice

on how to handle it, hoping to resolve things quickly and calmly.

Here's how the conversation went.

Me: " Hi, Diane.

Jake let me know you're upset about the seating arrangements.

I'm really sorry to hear that because I put a lot of time and care into

both the layout and the chart itself.

We combined tables because Jake really values how well both families get along

and wanted to feel like one big family.

I made sure certain relatives were seated together and thought others would enjoy

sitting with people they don't see often.

Jake and I reviewed everything together before finalizing it.

I'm disappointed this has become such an issue, and I hope everyone can

still enjoy the wedding and their time together." Okay, fair enough.

That's nice.

I also

am

like- Mm-hmm … why overexplain yourself to someone like this?

Like, she's obviously not gonna-

Don't.

Someone has no boundaries will only continue to show that they have no

boundaries the more you explain.

Yes, and, like, that victim that, this is her time now to be like, "I'm a victim.

Let me show you how much I'm a victim." Diane, " My mother and brother will feel

slighted, and honestly, my relationship with them isn't great right now.

I don't need to make it worse." So I'm guessing either she's not sitting

with them, I don't know how that-

Right, I guess it's affected- She could be this-

that in some way.

Yeah.

Me, " I'm really sorry you feel that way.

I put a lot of thought into making sure everyone would enjoy their tables

and while still being near each other.

It's just for dinner.

Everyone else will be mingling the rest of the night." That's the thing, too.

It's like at a wedding, you're actually sitting down eating for

such a short period, and then people bounce around, you dance.

So does it really matter?

Right.

You're not… Yes, exactly, you're not chained to your chair the whole night.

Yeah.

Yeah.

" If you'd like, I'm happy to reach out to them and explain our reasoning."

Oh my gosh, she's being way too nice.

No, You're doing too much.

Diane, " Sure.

If you had asked, I would have told you.

I offered to help, but you didn't want it.

Sometimes you have to do the right thing, and separating me from my mother and

brother is wrong." Okay, so it sounds like what they did is put maybe their

immediate parents at one table together, and then other- Mm-hmm … family next,

which I see it happen all the time.

And plus, like- Yeah … putting together seating charts it's like a puzzle piece.

Like, you have to, like, get everyone in there and- It is

… it's

a lot of work.

it is.

It's like defusing a bomb.

It's not just, one tiny… If you move people, then you've

gotta change other things.

Now, I guess if she had just been a normal human and been like, "Hey,

I know seating charts are so hard.

Is there any way I can sit next to my brother and blah, blah,

blah?" And then it was like, " No, like I really…" whatever.

And she's like, "I totally get it. Just thought I'd ask," you know?

Yes.

Like, that's a normal interaction.

It's three sentences- Mm-hmm … and that's, normal.

Yeah, it's not threatening to never talk to your son again and like-

Psychotic

… having a whole tantrum.

Yeah, like let's just learn to communicate.

You can say like, "Hey, would you mind?

Is there any way this could work?" me, "I appreciate that you offered

to help, but truthfully, you haven't shown much interest in the planning.

You rarely ask about the wedding unless it involves you."

Ooh, she's like- Here we go.

It's the battle Oh, boy.

Yeah, here we

go.

Ooh, " If you had reached out earlier or shared strong opinions about

seating, this might have been different, but asking for changes three weeks

before the wedding isn't realistic.

I've spent hours organizing names, tables, and the chart itself." See,

I feel like, too, and I'm not shaming the bride, 'cause you know what?

She said clear as day the mother-in-law does not like her.

She never has.

She put down everything.

But also I feel like it's like she doesn't like her, so she's like, "Why

am I going to she doesn't like her back.

You know?

Like, the daughter-in-law probably doesn't like her.

Right.

And so she's like, " I'm gonna tell her like it is.

I'm not gonna cater to her." What

do I have to lose?

Yeah.

Yeah.

At this point, tell her like, you already don't like me, so I might as well just be

like- Yeah … I'm not changing anything.

I'm gonna tell you why." so.

Yeah, it's a win-win.

Nothing to lose.

You know?

If like she doesn't ever talk to you again, a win.

If she changes her ways, a win.

But either way, it's a win.

Mm-hmm.

" Diane: I was told not to be involved.

Me: I don't know who told you that, but it wasn't me.

I've actually been upset that you and your husband haven't showed interest.

I often feel like when I bring things up, the topic gets changed.

Diane: I was told it was your wedding and whatever you want goes.

I was trying to be a good mother-in-law.

I always offered help.

Me: It's Jake and my wedding, and again, I never said you couldn't be involved.

From my perspective, you haven't shown much interest beyond general offers.

If we had talked more about planning, you would've known when things like

this were happening." It sounds like just a big communication, mess.

'Cause who's- Yeah … to, like, maybe Jake stepped in and was like, "Mom, I

don't want you involved," to protect her.

But-

Yeah, yeah

… I don't know.

Diane- Also, too, like why are you fighting for her to be involved

when you know she doesn't like you and you don't really like her?

It's like- Yeah … it's kind of a gift that she hasn't been interested or

involved, and take the win, you know?

That's

what I think,

too.

But I don't know.

A lot of times in these stories, again, not to like group it all, but when there's

like a daughter-in-law, mother-in-law, issue, they get offended then when the

mother-in-law doesn't want to be involved, which I'm like, if they don't wanna be

involved, don't hold it against them.

Maybe they're distancing- Right … themselves because they

know they can't bite their tongue.

so now it's- Mm … kinda like salt on the wound.

Everything's out, and so I feel like they're, now they're

just kinda like gonna go at it.

Yeah.

It's so much deeper than just not being interested in the wedding-

Mm

unfortunately.

Yes.

You're taking her son away.

Diane, "Again, I was told to stay out.

It's your wedding, not mine." Me, "That may be true, but Jake would never

tell you not to talk to me about it.

He's heard me say I'm hurt that you're not involved." Diane, "I

felt unwanted in the planning.

I didn't want to be a nag.

I asked Jake instead.

You control him," ooh- Mm … "and I didn't want to push you away and

lose him." Me, "I don't control Jake.

That's a ridiculous thing to say.

I moved here so he could stay close to you.

I took the bar here.

We bought a house here.

We are having the wedding here." Diane, "You have already taken him away."

Oh, g- Oh my God, lady … so I feel like I'm reading someone's personal text.

I mean, I guess I am.

I

know.

Gosh.

I don't know if it's, like, my age or what, but I'm just, like, past, like,

the… if it's not going in a direction, you just gotta call it a night.

Like-

Call it.

Call it.

It's too much.

It's too much.

Too much via text.

the last two things they say.

she says, "Jake is an adult.

He makes his own decisions.

He chose to build a life with me.

He decides on how involved others are.

This is unreasonable." " Diane, I'm sorry you feel that way. I always

wanted a good relationship with you."

At that point, I stopped responding because the

conversation was going nowhere.

So there you go.

I honestly don't know what to do.

She clearly needs help, and Jake says this is how she is.

She has outbursts, then later feels embarrassed and apologizes.

But I've told him I can't just deal with it forever.

He needs to set stronger boundaries, and he refuses.

He thinks he can manage it by being calm and diplomatic, while I tend

to trust my instincts and speak up.

This is the first time I ever directly confronted her.

I'm completely at a loss for how to move forward, and honestly, if she

follows through on cutting him off, I might just take that opportunity

and move closer to my family.

There's so much more that happened, but I really need advice on what to do next.

Oh, okay.

Mm. This woman needs a project, okay?

She needs something to keep her hands and mind busy, because when her hands and mind

are not busy, she does crap like this.

So I would give her a project to do to help out with the wedding, and I

would make it, like, the most surface level thing that she could do and help

with so then that she can't be like, "Well, you didn't have me involved with

anything." I'd be like, "Hey, can you, tie the flowers together?" just the

most basic job, assign that to her, and scratch that itch that she's needing,

she's needing from you to be involved.

and then don't even address any of the other stuff.

That is just not even your problem.

Mm-hmm.

The fact that she has no boundaries with her son, with herself, with

other people, that is her crap.

Yeah.

And, yeah.

I would just focus on the life that you're building with your

mans and nothing else matters.

Yeah.

I feel like it's not, I don't know the OP's name, but I don't

feel like it's her place to-

Right

tell the mother-in-law how it is.

It needs to be the son, if anything.

No.

Because it's only gonna cause a bigger rift.

Like, if they're all together, they're gonna just, like, pull each other

farther and farther apart, and it needs to be the son that sits down with her

and, be like, "I'm choosing my wife.

I'm still your son, but, like, this is my new life." I don't know. Someone like

this, you can't really, like, barter with. You can't, be like, "Oh, okay.

We'll do this if you do that," because- There's no reasoning.

Yeah.

Yeah … yeah, she's made her mind up.

Yeah.

If

she doesn't get her way, she's gonna either cut him off, or

it's, like, an empty threat just to, like, see what they'll do.

But-

Exactly

… either way, someone that gives an empty threat, how long do you

really want them around that often?

But I don't know.

Exactly.

Yeah.

And I agree.

It's always if it's your parents, it should be you-

Mm-hmm

… dealing with it.

And if it's his parents, it needs to be him having the

conversation moving forward.

I totally agree.

Yeah.

think it's hard, too, when the, son or daughter in-law is the more outspoken one,

or the more… I shouldn't say outspoken, but where she says, I speak up more.

I trust my instincts more." He's a little more diplomatic- Yeah … and calm.

So I think it's harder when the in-law is like that because-

I

know, yeah

it, "Oh, they're controlling you. Oh, they're telling you like it is."

so yeah, I feel like because it's so close to the wedding, like exactly

what you said, like, give her a small task, one that's not going… the

wedding's not gonna depend on it.

So if she doesn't follow through- No … it's fine.

Like, you're still gonna figure something out.

Right.

And then if she wants to get hellbent over not sitting at the same table,

she'll be the one that looks ridiculous if she throws a tantrum, which-

Exactly

… sucks, but I don't know.

Yeah, and that's her and her karma, and that's all you can say.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, my gosh.

Well, good luck.

Wow, what an intense story.

I know.

I hope- We hope

that helped.

I know.

I hope that helped.

I know.

I have to see when she sent it 'cause hopefully the wedding's, like…

Hopefully this was, like, a newer story and the wedding didn't already happen.

But either way, we can reach out.

Oh,

yeah.

Maybe there's a follow-up.

Our

thoughts and prayers are with you.

Yes.

Okay, I always like to end these episodes with confessions that people send me on

Instagram, so we'll just react to them.

a time you felt ignored or unheard during your wedding or someone else's.

Okay,

Not being the center of attention at my own wedding.

Ooh, that's interesting.

Okay.

that was it.

That's all that this person

said.

That was it.

Yeah, yeah.

Yikes.

Yeah.

So that could e- I mean, there's a lot of reasons that could be.

I mean, it's like s- just a lot going on, and people kind of caring

more about themselves than being like, "It's the bride and her day."

You know, that kind of thing.

Yes, of course.

When my sister-in-law got up and gave a speech she wasn't asked to make,

and it ended with asking for keys from all the female wedding guests.

I don't get what that means.

Hmm, what?

Keys It's gonna be more complex than that That's crazy.

Sorry,

girl.

Yeah.

I don't

know what that means.

okay.

And then, " Parents own a business and were using my wedding as an advertisement.

I have no say."

Oh,

ew.

I don't like that.

Yeah, that's, that's icky.

Do they own, like, a wedding business?

Like- Okay

Or like a car dealership and they're having the wedding at the car dealership.

And they're like, "Come on down to Bob's Honda and see our daughter get married."

Yes.

That's hilarious.

okay, last one.

"The bridesmaid dress options didn't fit me right. The bride refused

to compromise and was so uncomfy."

Oh, that sucks.

I don't like that.

I feel like everyone has different body types, and I feel like you need to

consider what your bridesmaids are- Yeah

comfortable

in.

you can't be, like super picky as a bridesmaid, but you also, like, don't

want your bridesmaids to be uncomfortable.

A little bit of both.

Exactly.

a, there's a line, yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, that's all I got this week.

Thanks for coming on.

Oh, thanks for having me.

That was so fun.

That was so fun.

Can you tell everybody where they can find your content?

I also know you have a podcast too, so make sure you tell us,

like, where everyone can find your podcast, what that's about-

Yeah … and your social media content.

Yes.

So you can find me everywhere at Burnt Out Teachers, BurntOutTeachers,

all one word, on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube.

and Threads, I guess.

I'm not really on there much, but my stuff is.

My videos post there.

and yes, recently started a podcast with my two, childhood best friends,

and it's called The Borderline Besties.

And we are borderline besties because Abby and I are best friends.

We've been best friends for 27 years, and then my cousin Michael is one

of my best friends, and obviously we're cousins, so we're family.

but Michael and Abby have only met a couple times, so it's like

this cool dynamic of they both know me in different ways, and

then watching them both interact.

And, everyone is so funny.

They are so brilliantly funny.

but anyway, this has been a dream of mine for a really long time, to get all of us

together onto a, space like a podcast.

And we talk about so many different things, but this is my newest

baby, and you can find us anywhere, The Borderline Besties as well,

TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts.

and we talk about everything, all different types of things.

We're trying to kind of narrow in on what it is that we wanna talk about each week.

We've done conspiracy theories, we've done food, we've done, trying

to live as an adult in the world.

if I do say so myself, it's pretty funny.

They are so funny, and it's a good time, so.

I love

that.

Yeah, so you can find me there too.

I love that.

All right.

Burnt Out Teachers, Borderline Besties.

Awesome.

Well, like I said, I've been watching your content for so long.

I think you're hilarious, and I'm really glad we got to officially

meet, so thanks for coming on.

I know.

Thank you so much.