Nobody in real estate is gonna tell you the real stuff.

So we will.

We're gonna talk about all the stuff that nobody posts about.

But everybody needs to hear.

We've been in this industry long enough to know what works.

And long enough to know what doesn't.

I'm Pam.

And I'm Mackenzie.

And this is Real Talk Real Agents.

And this is Real Talk Real Agents.

If you're a real estate agent that is so tired of the fake it 'til you

make it energy, this is your show.

We are two agents who are still in it every single day, and we are

not coaching from the sidelines.

We are in the trenches with you.

No filters and no fluff.

All right.

Real talk starts right now.

So the Real Talk Real Agents, I think the last one was really a kickoff.

This is really the fist- first official episode, I think.

It is.

And the title of this episode is Confidence is the Cheat Code.

Yes.

I don't know.

So I feel like so many agents, we talk a lot about confidence.

That seems to be the number one thing that people feel like they

don't have, especially as newer agents or even new-ish agents.

They don't, I guess they fear they're gonna walk into an appointment and not

have an answer, and so it just parlays into this lack of confidence phase.

Absolutely.

No matter where you are in your business, no matter what stage- … c-

the confidence conversation comes up with agents that we interview,

with agents that are on our team.

How do they get to the next level?

I think this is a, just a life topic.

Oh.

I feel like it's- All right.

So true … even beyond real estate in so many ways.

You know what I mean?

You just meet people.

Absolutely.

And then we're in this lovely menopause phase of our life.

And I think that even life changes can change maybe how you

view yourself or your business.

And so even though you may be older and more experienced, it doesn't mean

that you don't sometimes struggle a little bit with confidence.

All right.

Yes to all of that.

So you and I have talked a lot about this offline.

Just personally, professionally, conversations with other

people, not even just agents.

Like you said- Yeah … this is a life, this is a man-woman thing.

This isn't just a- Yeah … menopausal woman thing.

What do you think confidence is?

What is the definition of confidence in your mind?

Yeah, we, and we've kinda cheated a little bit in this too, but

I totally agree in some of our conversations we had yesterday.

So I think people get, gain confidence in different ways.

Some people, it feels like it's through experience, it's just doing.

That's a good portion of the people.

I know you like to read and learn- … and so I think you gain confidence in

the educational piece of whatever she's doing, she's gonna read about.

'Cause she's a teacher, right?

So she wants to learn about it so she can teach others.

And so I think a good p- a good part of your confidence comes

from that educational background.

And then there's some people just intuitively I think have

a little bit more confidence.

I say this all the time, I have an inordinate amount of

confidence that I should not have.

You should.

It's fascinating to watch.

But I do think it comes down to foundationally that I might not know

all the answers, but I do know that I will find a solution, and I'm very

equipped to make the phone calls, do the research, find somebody to help

me with whatever that problem is.

And so I think I can just go into it with "I'll figure it out," and

that's always been my motto, right?

Say yes and figure it out.

And so I think I kinda can lean into that a little bit.

So it's, yeah.

And I think that's the difference between agents who grow and

agents who struggle, right?

We want to know how to do it to get the confidence to do it.

And really, as much as I read about it, I can prepare myself, but I've learned

that I have to do it- Yeah And I, for me personally, I have to do it before I

can feel confident in showing somebody else perhaps the way, the how, right?

When I'm talking, there's just I was, as we talked about this often and

as different agents ask us different questions, and I'm just, sometimes

I'm like, h- they're like, you can just rattle off this handler f- for

this listing, for this seller, for this," and they're just like, "How?"

And it's the repetition- Yeah … of doing it.

So you can't get experience until you do it.

You can't fail forward until you try, right?

Yeah.

You hear that that motto, fake it till you make it.

And some people are "That's not true. You have to, scripts, and

you have…" And yes, I believe in knowing some ideas of what to say.

So you've been listening this long and you still haven't subscribed?

We see you.

Okay, so we're doing the thing.

We're asking you to follow us.

Now, where were we?

Just working with agents at different phases of their career this topic of

confidence- Yes … comes up all the time.

And sometimes it is not about age.

Sometimes it's not even about experience.

Just things will come up and people feel a little rattled on confidence.

So we thought it might be nice to just talk about Some, maybe some

cheats that we've learned or we've seen or just observations, 'cause we

talk about confidence all the time.

We do, and agents are looking for, want it.

Sometimes they don't even realize they have it.

They just need to have- Yeah … a little bit of that belief in themselves.

And, we all want that confidence to do something new, especially

if we're new in real estate.

And having said that, this really is for anyone, no matter where

you are in your business, right?

Correct.

Yeah.

Because we're always trying to grow, right?

Or hopefully we are trying to grow, build our business in different ways.

And we want that confidence before we've actually tried the thing.

Yeah.

And that's, I think, where that difference between an agent that we see that's

gonna grow or an agent that's gonna struggle, I think it fundamentally

seems to come down to that person has what type of mindset they have.

Yeah.

We talk about this a lot, too.

If it's just more of a stagnant, closed mindset or if it's someone that is really

up for the challenge- … and has a open mindset I think you can see some parallels

between those different personality types at times and and confidence.

All right.

So if I can say this because you've said it before about yourself- Nope … is

that it's fascinating to watch you, right?

Just professionally as a friend, right?

With your level of confidence in some things that you've never even done before.

Correct.

And I'm- And I do say it all the time, like I literally have

more confidence than I deserve.

So I'm just trying to rub some of it off on me, because I differently create that

confidence by researching, by reading- Correct … by watching, by observing.

Correct.

But then you can get into your head.

Correct, yes.

And so- Do I know enough?

Have I learned enough?

Have I read enough- … to, yeah, to build that confidence.

To do it, and then as agents are looking to us and talking about you'll have

agents that will look at me and just say, "But you're so confident when

you're talking to a seller. You sound so confident when you're on the phone with

a buyer, with somebody, a new prospect," or whatever that… And then, so my

immediate response is no, I'm just as…

I lack the confidence as much as you do." But then I really

thought about it and, yes, I read.

Yes, I consume as much information as I can, but it's from that repetition

of having those conversations with sellers, with buyers- Yes … with

other agents- … with networking.

So I don't know.

Do you have any thoughts on that?

Yeah.

I think we've gotten to it in different ways, 'cause we have

different personalities, right?

But I think it's very similar.

It's just in different ways.

So I think the confidence does come from activity- … from action, and

maybe it was not real estate related.

I don't know.

We traveled to Philadelphia this past weekend.

We did.

And it's so interesting to watch just people in general.

I have a fascination with just the psychology of just people in general.

But you do have folks that have lived in the same little place their whole life.

Their bubble is so small.

And then our parents, right?

They tell us to be careful.

Don't do that.

We- we're constantly pulling people back from a very young age from any type

of action to get them outside of this comfort zone And then you have people

that have maybe had life thrust upon them.

And I feel like I qualify as one of those people, that you've maybe had to learn,

again, not about real estate, but just learn that, "Hey, I survived that shit.

That did not take me down.

All right it did something, scare the crap out of me, but I'm on the other

side of it now." And so I think through some repetition there, but it is, at

the end of the day, a choice and action taking, whether it's through learning

and script play, or just experience that way, or it's maybe some life

experience that you can lean into.

That's fascinating, that psychology- … that you brought up, because I don't

know that I grew up in an environment.

I did grow environment that I was just like, "I gotta figure this out." Yes.

I had, and have, a very stable, n- no family's perfect.

Love you mom and dad- yeah … if you're listening to this.

That it was, be careful, be safe.

Make the safe, care- be- make the safe and careful choice.

Which has gotten me very far.

Correct.

However, to get out of my comfort zone and to do that next thing, I've had

to then learn to, "Kate, you're gonna have to jump before you learn how

to swim, and be okay with failing."

Yes.

And that's hard for a people pleaser like me, just for the record.

Any people pleasers out there, I'm trying to work on that, but- Yeah … I

think that's also an incred- when I, talking to agents and just thinking

about conversations, s- again, we're not psychologists, but so much of this

comes from, how we were raised- Yeah

And our belief, our internal belief system.

Agreed.

I think that's part of it, too, and I think confidence does, at

the end of the day, you don't think that you have all the answers.

Oh, yeah.

I know I don't have all the answers, too, so I'm not coming at confidence

from a standpoint that I think I know anything better than anyone else.

But what I do know m- so very solidly is who I am as a person,

and that I care about people, and that I will figure out a solution.

I'll figure it out.

S- okay.

They lack the confidence.

Yeah.

What are some actionable steps that maybe we've taken, or that we've seen

other people taken, and we didn't die.

We didn't blow up our lives, yeah.

And just something they can take away the next time they're going on another

appointment, that they're just don't, they lack that confidence and… So I do think

there are some cheats that you can do.

First of all is I think, and it sounds maybe silly, but

appearance can sometimes help you.

It's maybe false confidence, but it certainly doesn't hurt.

So I tell myself this if I'm going into a listing appointment

of a really fancy, dance-y house.

I'm gonna feel vet better about that presentation if, if I feel

like I'm putting my best foot forward aesthetically, personally.

And then coming to the table as prepared as possible.

But scripting, I know that's something that you do a lot.

It's just, it's practice, right?

It's just giving yourself the opportunity to know the words a little bit more

fluently than maybe you would just off the cuff because you don't, you

lack a little bit of that experience.

Yes, and, excuse me, and I think what really helps in that, getting over that

hump of having to learn it all before I even try to do it, was going in with

that mindset and setting the expectation for myself is I'm not gonna have all

the answers, and being okay to say that to the person I'm talking to across.

Yeah.

'Cause what I have learned is people I don't think are expecting

me to have all the answers.

I think they're expecting me to be honest- Correct … and true and

come from that place of service, and come from that place that I do wanna

help you buy or sell or, reinvest.

Whatever their goal is, I can walk away whether I get the listing, whether the

buyer wants to work with me, whether an agent joins our team, I can feel

that I've come from the right place and asked the right questions and

been as honest as I possibly can be.

And then at least I can walk away from that just respecting, again, going

back to who I am and what we're trying to build and create for other people.

I think at the end of the day, people are looking for someone that they can trust.

That's just the baseline- … for all of this.

So you just being yourself, having real conversations, not afraid to ask

questions, and being less concerned over, am I saying things perfectly?

Is my brochure pretty enough?

People could give two shits about- … any of that, right?

Even though we have them all.

Oh, we do.

Look, I have gone down a dark hole on marketing, so this is coming

from someone that really does care.

But yeah, I mean- … it's, are you trustworthy?

Are you coming across that way?

Do people feel like you have their best interest in mind?

If you feel that solidly too, if you know who you are- … and you have

high integrity, I f- I feel like that is the foundation for your confidence.

So lean into that before experience.

Absolutely.

So today, after this podcast, we want you guys to go out there and

maybe try something that you think that you've lacked confidence in

but feel very passionate about.

Because what we have experienced is that passion and that love for other

people and what you're doing will come out, and it will look like confidence.

Okay, so we're basically everywhere now, and we're still not over it.

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