Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of Here Comes the Drama.
I'm your host, Christa Innis.
Thanks for being here.
First things first, I wanna do a little mini celebration with you guys.
If you follow me on social, you've probably seen, but it's been exactly one
year, June 12th actually was one year, since my book, Here Comes the Drama: A
Ferris and Sloane Story, was released.
I was actually doing a podcast interview and when we stopped recording,
she looked behind me and she was like, " Oh, did you write a book?
What's it about?" And I was telling her all about it, and I happened to
look up at the date and I was like, oh my gosh, it was exactly one year
ago today that it was released.
And after we, you know, signed off and, all that good stuff,
I started looking into it.
It was a year before that, so it was like June 2024 when I started the
Ferris and Sloane skit and started talking to the audience about possibly
writing a book, and then it was June 2025 where the book came out.
And here we are, June 2026, a year later, and it's just wild to see what's changed
since then in my content, more stories that have come out, and the progress I'm
making with book number two So first, if you're new here and you've not read
book number one, here's a little review.
This is one of the most recent reviews.
Actually, it was just left… Oh, it was just posted today
as I'm recording, on June 16th.
I did not notice that when I put this in here.
this person says, "Love this book.
I have followed this story since the beginning.
I thought I loved the character then, but with the added details,
they came to life even more.
Can't wait to read even more from Krista." So that was my goal with this book.
So a little quick background, so not to do, like, repeat myself,
2024, I started this storyline.
I was putting my daughter down to bed, and this story popped into my mind.
And I literally heard the first line of the mom walking into the room
saying, "Oh, I knew she would do this to get my son away from me."
And from there, it just kind of blossomed.
At that point, I had no idea it was gonna be as long as it was, and I just
kept kind of adding more and more to it.
this was the first skit that was longer.
I think at that point, my longest one was maybe four parts with
not, like, a real storyline.
I kinda just did, like, goofy things.
This one went so long.
The first season was 16 parts.
I did a second season that was 16 parts.
then I did a third season while writing this book that was too much.
I don't recommend it to anybody.
but season three, I think I did a little bit shorter, and
then I also did a prequel.
So if you're just getting into the Ferris and Sloane era or series,
there's a lot you can get into.
I've always told people, go back.
If you're gonna watch it, watch season one, two, then three,
then go back to the prequel.
book one that I wrote, Here Comes the Drama, basically covers season one,
but like this review says, it adds a lot more background that that you
can't see in these one-person skits.
It adds a lot more character development, character detail, descriptions,
and then a lot more dialogue.
And then of course, I changed certain things that happened because when I was
creating these skits, especially then, I was just thinking as I went, right?
I'd kinda have an idea of what was gonna happen, but ultimately I'd pick
up the phone and just saw what came out.
Also at that time, I was not planning very well.
So I would just have all of the accessories in front of me, and
I would basically just I don't know, like pick them up one by one.
I'd be like, "Okay, Jenny. Okay, Faris. Okay, Mom," you know?
And just kind of running through all of it.
So it was a wild time.
now I happy to say I actually script everything out ahead of time,
and so that way I can have, like, outfits for each character, and I
feel like it's a lot more smooth.
but it was a process.
My goal has always been to write a book, so it was just… The timing was amazing.
Everyone was just so excited and interested in this, storyline and
these characters that I was just so overjoyed to be able to do this,
and it was just such an honor.
So Here Comes the Drama: The Faris and Sloane Story, now
officially been out for a year.
Book number two, just a little update for those interested, book number two is going
to be called Drama Ever After as of now.
and it mostly follows season two, but again, there's a lot of extra stuff
that you never saw in the skits.
because when I take it back and write it all through, I reread through
everything so many times and I'm like, "Wait, that doesn't make sense.
I don't like the name for this person.
I don't think they should live there.
I don't think they should wear this." You know, that kind of thing.
So, a lot of updates as I kind of go back through everything so
book number two has been written.
We're kind of in the editing phase.
We already did one round of developmental edits with my, literary
agent, and then I just sent the next edits a couple months ago.
So hoping to hear back soon if there's some more edits we need or what
kind of the next process would be.
Really excited for that, and I'll stop blabbing.
But it just kind of took me for a loop when I was like, "Oh my gosh,
it's been a year since it's been out." It feels like so much and so
much time and so little time, all at the same time, if that makes sense.
Okay, let's get into it.
So starting off today, when I do solo episodes, I really
try to find good dilemmas.
so this is called Wedding Dilemma section.
if you have a wedding dilemma you would like me to address or ask the
audience, please send it to me directly.
You can email me, hello@christainnis.com.
You can DM me on social media.
And these are usually shorter little stories where you're
looking for some real-life advice.
so here's one that I came across today.
Okay, it says, " My husband and I have been married for 10 years now.
Before our wedding, we made the decision to get married
privately with just the two of us.
Afterward, we threw a celebration with all of our friends and family because at the
end of the day, we felt our wedding was about us and our commitment to each other.
My family was incredibly happy for us and completely supportive.
My husband, however, is one of eight siblings, and several of
them, let's just say, are entitled.
They felt the need to call him and tell him he was selfish" Oh my gosh,
okay. " Selfish and wrong for not including them in our actual wedding
ceremony even though every single one of them was invited to the celebration
afterward." Then came the party itself.
Out of all eight siblings, only one gave us as much as a card.
One sibling showed up alone because his family didn't want to spend the
money since we were already married.
Others acted like the celebration didn't matter because they hadn't
witnessed the ceremony itself.
I won't lie, it hurt, not because we regretted our decision, but because the
people who claimed they were so upset about being excluded didn't seem to
care once they were actually included.
It's taken me a long time to make peace with it, but here we are, 10
years later, happier than ever, and planning to renew our vows this spring.
So I have a question for your viewers.
Do we invite his family this time around?
Ooh, okay, a lot going on here.
My immediate response, and I'm gonna talk myself through this, and I wanna hear
what you guys have to say, of course.
my immediate response is no.
Because, one, we're hearing that they are extremely entitled.
Because you didn't invite them the way they wanted to be invited, they took
that as you don't wanna include us.
But it's not like anybody else was a part of that.
Like you said, it was very important to have that moment alone with just you and
your husband to show your commitment to each other, and I think that's beautiful.
I love that you guys did that.
I think that's so powerful, and you said, "We want this moment alone together."
The fact that none of them… So they came… Wait, out of all eight siblings,
so one gave a card, one came alone, 'cause they didn't wanna bring the
family because you're already married.
It doesn't say anything about the other siblings.
I don't know if I can assume all the other ones came, but they didn't send a card
or anything, or did none of them come?
let's see
Out of all eight, only one gave us a card, one showed up alone.
Others just acted like it didn't matter.
So I don't know if acting like it didn't matter mean they didn't show up, or
when they came, they were kinda just like whatever about it, which to me,
that's kinda icky in itself, right?
they're gonna come by and just be like, "Well, you're already married,
so whatever, it doesn't matter." If they showed up, that's a little
different for my response, like they showed up, But what do they say?
it's not about what people said, it's about how they made you feel.
So if they came, and they kinda just made you feel like, " Okay, well at
least we came to this, but you didn't include us, and we're mad now, and
we're gonna make you feel bad for not inviting us," that's one thing.
I also want you to think about how the last 10 years been with them.
Do you guys see each other?
Do you guys make an effort to see each other?
How does your husband feel about everything?
Does he still talk to them, or is there kind of a weird rift ever since then?
there's a lot of factors include, I can't just say yes or no.
do we invite his family this time around?
My gut, because you're asking it, do we invite it, it makes me think that you
and your husband are already on the edge of like, " No, they don't support us.
They were weird at our initial, wedding celebration." And also,
can we just pause for a second?
Why are people so, like, entitled to other people's weddings?
Like, here's the thing.
Many times when you actually go to someone's wedding, they're not
actually legally married at that point.
Does that bother you?
Someone I talked to once, she said they didn't even, like, have the
paperwork filled out, and some people made comments about it.
They're like, "Well, it's not even a real wedding." And she's like, " Okay,
but you wouldn't be there when we're signing the paperwork anyway," right?
There's a witness later on that's usually with the maid of honor, best man, so
you're not really there to see it.
So I think that's very odd in itself.
So here's my thing.
If the other siblings didn't show up, they were rude, and then over the last
10 years they've made comments, they don't show up to things for you and your
husband, maybe kids' birthdays or things, then I would say maybe don't invite them.
Maybe just invite a close group of friends or people that you can really rely on.
If in the last 10 years you have kinda made amends, you still think
about that day, but you're like, "Okay, we've moved, past this.
My husband's still really close with his siblings.
we've gotten together for holidays.
We're happy in our marriage.
We want to show that to everybody and celebrate," I would say invite them.
So I know it's not just a yes or no, but think about also how many people.
If you're like, "Okay, we only want to invite 20 people,"
how's that number looking?
With eight siblings and their significant others, their
kids, that adds up very fast.
so think about how that's gonna fit into numbers.
Is this going to make a bigger, gap in the family dynamic?
Would your husband be upset by that?
So there's a lot of things to kinda think about, and maybe you can give me
a follow-up, too, as well to kind of understand, like, what exactly happened.
it's hard.
It's hard, and it's very complex because of, yes, the
siblings did act very entitled.
I'm a little stumped by this one.
I would ask yourself all these questions and be like, "Okay, what are we looking
for? If they come, are they going to make comments that's gonna make me
uncomfortable? Am I still uncomfortable by them?" Because if you are, and if
your husband and you still kind of feel icky about that day and don't see them
a lot, I would say do not invite them.
So based on what I see in front of me, and the fact that you're asking, " Do
we invite his family?" I'm gonna say no if it's not a great relationship
To me, someone that was entitled to or felt like they were entitled to
see the full wedding ceremony and the after party doesn't matter, they're not
gonna feel like vow renewals matter.
They might roll their eyes, they might come late, they might come
and just make comments about like, "Oh, I had to take off work,"
or, just make comments about it.
So if you feel deep down that it's going to take away from the celebration and
take away from the day and kind of make you feel hurt again, I would say no.
I would say leave them out.
so there's a lot to consider here.
I wanna throw this off to my audience as well, so if you guys have something
to say, please comment on social media or YouTube and let us know what you
guys have to say about the situation.
And to this person, if you have more to add, please send it to me, like some more
details that we kinda talked about, and I can comment as well, like oh, from the
person, if you wanna do it anonymously.
All right.
Thanks for sending it in.
again, as I've said, if you guys have your own wedding dilemma that you
want me to push out to the audience, you want me to answer myself,
email me, hello@christainnis.com or you can DM me on the socials.
Okay, let's get into some hot takes.
Here we go.
Guest experience hot takes.
If your wedding requires a flight and hotel, you should not expect a gift.
Oh, one more thing I wanna say about this dilemma.
I don't think the gift or card thing should be part of the issue.
again, I don't know anything about travel, if they had to travel to
get to you, take time off work.
The gift thing shouldn't be it, but I think it was already just kinda like
stinging because of how they acted.
Anyway, back to this.
Okay
If your wedding requires a flight and a hotel, you should not expect a
gift I know a lot of people are gonna disagree with me, but I agree with this.
I had this wedding etiquette expert on here, and she talked
about how you shouldn't show up empty-handed to any kind of event.
But that doesn't mean you need to spend a ton of money.
Think about your budget ahead of time.
Like, let's say for all wedding events, you can spend $200.
That means 50 here, 50 here, 100 here, right?
So if you're spending a flight and a hotel, you should not have
to buy a real expensive gift.
I really don't think you should.
But bring a card.
maybe it's a card and then a gift card to their favorite restaurant, or maybe
it's a card and a bottle of wine.
So you can get a bottle of wine for $10.
You can get a bottle of wine for $50 and probably more.
Not that I would know, because I don't buy expensive wine.
but just something nice to show, like, "Thank you for inviting me and bringing
me here." But again, for my own wedding, people that traveled in, I did not
even expect them to get me a gift.
You're paying for a hotel, rental car possibly, a flight, possibly a new outfit.
Like, that takes a lot, taking time off work.
so no, I did not expect a gift from all these people that traveled in.
Guests care more about food and timing than your decor.
I 100% agree.
I know me as a guest, I care way more about the food, drinks, and timing.
I don't wanna be waiting a long time.
I want a good vibe.
I notice decor when I walk in because I've worked in weddings.
I love weddings.
I adore decorations, but your average person is not gonna notice decor.
They're not gonna look back at a wedding and be like, " Wow, that decor."
Some weddings, every once in a while I'm like, I think about a wedding
and I'm like, " That was beautiful."
But I, think more about, like, the venue, and I think about,
maybe some little details.
Like, I went to a wedding once, shout out Mandy, where they had a chocolate menu.
The menu was literally made of chocolate, and I'd never seen or
witnessed anything before like that in my life, and I was like, "I
will literally never forget this."
But her and her family are just amazing at detail and everything.
But again, the average person will not care as much about detail.
Okay.
A wedding that runs on time is more impressive than one that looks expensive.
I don't know if impressive is the right word, ' cause there's a lot of things,
like, your guests will never know.
if you're running 15 minutes behind, unless it's the ceremony, everything
else, if you're running five to 10, 15 minutes behind, people will not notice.
Now, where you run into like an hour behind or 45 minutes behind, people
will notice if they're waiting.
but yeah, I, think people like being on time.
I don't know if it's necessarily more impressive or not.
Long gaps between ceremony and reception are worse than having
a short ceremony It depends.
Is there a long gap where there's a cocktail hour and hors
d'oeuvres or, like, snacky foods?
How long is this gap?
I would say no longer than an hour and a half.
that's usually plenty of time to mingle, to hang out.
I love a good gap where you can, like, go see people.
It is kind of awkward when the gap is so short, and you don't actually get to,
like, see people or get to, like, hang out, and it's just, like, one thing to the
other, and it feels very, like, business.
It doesn't feel like a fun event.
So there's a definite, like, happy medium, I would say.
I wouldn't say it's worse than a short ceremony because I don't think
short ceremonies are bad either.
I've been a part of ceremonies that were 10 minutes, and it was perfect.
It was absolutely perfect.
one of the weddings I did last year, she knew exactly what she wanted.
She was like, "We're literally just gonna bas- like, walk out there, get
to our spots, say something, like, very quick. It's gonna be, like,
10 minutes, walk back." That was such a fun wedding to coordinate.
that was not the only part I coordinated, but it was so fun.
She knew what she wanted to do.
It was 10 minutes long, and I had no problem with it.
I thought it was great Okay.
this next category is money and expectations.
The average wedding cost pressure is ruining what weddings are supposed to be.
I 100% agree with that.
I feel like it started with, like, the Pinterest.
Like, and I'm not bashing Pinterest.
I love Pinterest, but you gotta use it in the right way and have the
right, like, blockers on, right?
People see these Pinterest weddings, and they think, This is so doable.
I can do this for $10,000." Like, no, those are, like, usually 75,000 to
$100,000, right? so you can look to kinda get inspiration, but people see
these crazy Pinterest and social media weddings thinking, like, " That's what
I have to do to impress my guests."
And you can do all of it for so much cheaper.
Cut the corners a little bit.
Do what's really important to you.
Spend what's important to you.
Like, if food's really important to you, spend more on food.
If, good wine is important to you, spend more on good wine.
If, flowers is more important to you.
Think about what's most important to you and put that top of your
bucket, and don't compare yourself.
that's where people get lost, the comparison of, like, " Oh, I went
to Jenny's wedding, and they were in this ballroom, and there was
a three-course meal, and we had champagne at every table." Just
think about what makes sense for you.
So easy to get lost in it.
So yeah, I think there's a lot of pressure.
Social media, like, I'll be scrolling, and I'm like, "Oh my gosh, this
wedding is beautiful. Oh, I wish I did that." I'm like, "That's so not me. So
unrealistic." open bars are overrated if your crowd isn't big drinkers.
Yeah, I would agree.
I mean, I'm someone where I think an open bar is, like,
pretty standard for weddings.
I've been to some that have been just, like, beer and wine and, some
cocktails, and I think that's fine too.
I don't think you need top-shelf open bar.
but yeah, definitely know your audience.
I think also, what does the couple want?
Are they big drinkers, or do they not drink?
If you don't drink, there's no need for an open bar.
Have just some options if you want, or have a dry bar.
No shame in that.
Spending beyond your means for one day is almost never worth it.
Yeah, I 100% agree with that one.
I've heard some people say they, like, spent crazy amounts of
money, and they, opened up credit cards and- Teach their own.
Teach their own, but I don't recommend it.
you don't wanna start off the first year of your marriage being in
debt and struggling to pay it back.
yes, people will gift you money, but who's to say it's gonna
cover what, what you spent?
Really stick to your budget.
I think it's just so much better walking into a marriage saying like, "Oh, now
we have this extra money in our savings.
We stayed really below budget." I remember saying, like, in my 20s,
like, when I would think about weddings and stuff, I'd be like, "Oh, I wanna
have, like, over 200 people there."
And then I guess I got a little bit older and, like, your circle gets a
little bit smaller, and you realize, like, who's really been there for you?
Who do you really wanna see on your wedding day?
I think we ended up inviting, like, 150 maybe.
130 were there.
And I just think it's really important to step back a little bit and, know, see
who's gonna be with you for the long haul.
Okay.
That's all I got for wedding hot takes.
If you have a hot take, send it to me.
I love surveying the audience on these hot takes.
Sometimes I'll, share one, and I'm like, "I didn't really
know that was a hot take."
Okay.
this is a little, like, behind-the-scenes before we get
to this week's story submission.
So on YouTube, I'm starting to do a mini s- uh, not really miniseries.
They're YouTube Shorts.
I'm doing, like, two to three mini… YouTube Shorts every single week now.
They have nothing to do with the storyline that I'm currently working on.
It's just a fun way to share, like, little segments.
so check those out on YouTube Shorts, and then I'm also working on a new series.
I don't wanna spoil too much, 'cause I'm still kinda tweaking it a little
bit, but it's gonna be called, like, Coffee Confessions, and it's gonna be
a new series where there's reoccurring characters from bigger skits.
And again, they'll have nothing to do with the main storyline, but I'm
kinda pulling them out and having them appear in different, fun places.
So that's, again, a little behind the scenes for my, real listeners here.
I'm not gonna post it anywhere else.
no, so these will be mostly on… These will be only on YouTube, my new
YouTube Shorts, and then this, little coffee convos, Coffee Confessions.
I thought it'd be a fun way to show, like, the different sides of characters.
Like, if Kate showed up somewhere and was, like, chatting with a stranger,
like, really talking herself up.
so more to come on that, but I just wanted to share a little, little
something I'm working on with you guys.
Okay, let me drink some water and, Get to this week's story submission.
All right.
As a reminder, all of these episodes are… You can listen to them, and
can see the full thing on YouTube.
So obviously, if you're already watching it on YouTube, you know that.
But if you're listening to it, these are also posted on YouTube.
I'm so close to hitting 100,000 followers, which is just wild to think about.
so if you've not yet subscribed on my YouTube, please subscribe there.
I'm gonna be doing a big giveaway when I hit 100,000.
We are about 8,000 subscribers away, so getting there.
Okay, time for this week's story submission.
" Hi, Christa.
I've been listening to and watching your skits and podcasts for quite
some time, and my fiancé surprised me with a copy of your book."
Ooh, Green Flags.
I love that.
" I love them all.
Now it's time for my turn to tell my story.
I'll be sending different parts and writing as I go.
Please feel free to use my story for your podcast or a skit if you would like.
My fiancé Ryan and I," names have been changed, " got engaged around our
11-month anniversary in February of 2026."
This is happening right now.
Okay.
I'm gonna change any other personal details so that no one knows it's them.
Okay.
"We were out on a walk at a park near our home near New York when he took
my hand and led me to a tree where we'd taken our first selfie together.
He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
I cried during the proposal and even while saying yes.
Ryan originally planned to propose on our one-year anniversary,
but he couldn't wait any longer.
We announced our engagement on Facebook, called our parents, and celebrated with
dinner at an expensive restaurant thanks to some help from Ryan's coworkers.
While Ryan was planning the proposal, I was going through a difficult time
because I was losing my daytime job at my job…" I'm not gonna say the name.
it's a nurse and chef gear store that also does embroidery.
" My boss had planned to sell everything and switch to an online store.
I wasn't having much luck finding a new job, and it was really stressing me out.
Our engagement helped keep me going while I continued my job
search, went to interviews, and finished my responsibilities at
my job." while she still had it.
About a week after getting engaged, and after a lot of excitement and
encouragement from our families, we finally set our date, and
again, I'm not gonna say the date to give them some privacy.
while we announced the date, my stepmom, Laura, and dad, David, and
later my mom, Michelle, agreed it was the perfect date since it's actually
two days before my 34th birthday.
All names have been changed.
They even said having a wedding that day is actually the best
birthday present ever from Ryan.
I agreed.
It really does feel like the greatest birthday gift, and also a
wonderful anniversary gift for my future in-laws, whose anniversary
is two days before the wedding.
Throughout the first month of wedding planning, there was already some drama
involving my mom, which eventually led to her cutting me out of her life.
Wow, okay.
That's a lot.
For some background, my parents are separated when I was four
and divorced when I was five.
My dad married Laura when I was six, and we didn't get along
until I reached adulthood.
My parents have never gotten along, even after remarrying.
My mom remarried when I was 15, and I got along well with my stepdad, Steve.
There's a lot of people to consider and think about here.
A few years after I moved into my first apartment in 2018, after
my maternal grandma passed away, things started getting rocky
between my mom, Steve, and me.
It happened when I lost my job as a daycare teacher and continued through my
mom's cancer diagnosis in summer of 2022.
Even though I've tried to fix my mistakes, nothing ever seems to be enough for
them, especially when it comes to my jobs and paying back my college loans.
Before moving into my first apartment, I'd also gotten into a fight with my dad,
and we didn't speak for nearly six years.
Thankfully, we're on good terms now again after I reached out in early 2024.
A lot going on here with the parents.
that's a lot to handle Before we even got engaged, my dad and Laura
told us that in October of 2025 that they would help with the wedding.
She's really good with dates here.
I'm trying to, like, picture it all, like, when this all happened.
Okay.
they would help with the wedding.
Then around Christmas 2025, Ryan's cousin had their reception at a rescue fire
hall in another place in New York, and we decided we wanted to use the same venue.
It was beautifully decorated with Christmas trees, fake
snow, and gold and white lights.
Ryan's mom's cousin, we'll call him Mike, owns a catering business and
manages the hall, and luckily, he and my stepmom already knew each other.
in early March, I invited my mom and Steve to come look at the venue with us.
The morning of the appointment, my mom called while I was in
the middle of a phone interview.
When I called her back, she was upset and said she couldn't come
because it would be too awkward.
She was also frustrated about the financial issues we were having,
which had caused some of my paychecks to bounce at the time.
She took that as me not trying hard enough, even though I
was actively job searching and handling things as best as I could.
Situations like that made me feel so overwhelmed that I worried
about my health from the stress.
I told my stepmom that my mom wouldn't be coming, and she would eventually
talk things through and find a way to help keep the peace, even suggesting
separate wedding showers if needed.
I hate that.
Why can't we get along for one day?
Like, I get there's, like, a lot of nuance to different relationships, and
we don't know what happened, but put them on opposite sides of the room.
Believe me, I've been to weddings, showers, bachelorette parties,
many different events where two people hated each other in the
room, and they made it work.
They made it work.
Maybe they went home and talked badly about each other, I don't know, but
they were there, and it was fine.
I think people can do that, right?
Oh gosh.
Okay.
" I felt a little bit better until we got to the wedding venue and I saw
my mom's car already parked there.
None of us expected her to show up."
That's weird.
" Thankfully, everyone was polite and the meeting went smoothly.
Ryan and I decided to book the fire hall for both the ceremony and reception.
After we paid, my mom left right away." Okay, interesting Later
that night, I checked in with her and thanked her for coming.
She replied that she had fun, but that turned out not to be true.
I wonder what made her change her mind.
we moved forward with planning the bridal shower and other details, but more drama
hit on March 13th when my mom called me repeatedly during another job interview.
When I finally called her back, she accused us of ruining her 60th
birthday because Ryan's allergies.
What?
She knew he couldn't eat at the restaurant she had chosen.
I'm sorry, what?
And despite trying to find options, nothing was safe for him.
That argument ended with me telling her not to worry about
helping with the wedding anymore.
Okay.
A lot of people have allergies, whether it's like gluten
intolerance, dairy, whatever.
They have allergies.
It's not him ruining, her wedding.
I mean, you guys know this listening, but any sane person knows that.
She can pick a restaurant and he can bring something, or he can, you know…
Maybe they just have a small, birthday.
Like I would never accuse… Like one of my best friends
has a ton of allergies, right?
I would never accuse her of ruining something I wanted to
do because of her allergies.
That's wild, wild behavior.
Okay.
So it led to them not wanting to help with the wedding anymore.
The next day, things escalated even further.
She called again demanding money and accused me of killing her financially.
So what is this about the finances?
So the mom's struggling, the person writing in, the bride is losing her job.
But where's the gap here?
Does she owe the mom money?
Does the mom think the daughter owes her money for something?
That's what I'm kinda missing here.
It doesn't say why the mom's wanting money from her.
I don't know if there's some, like IOU thing or what's going on.
She insisted we meet.
Then I got into her car.
She began to yell at me.
When I tried to leave, she refused to let me out until I
threatened to call the police.
Okay, this is toxic.
Yeah, I would not be inviting this person to my wedding or having them
anywhere near me, especially your mom.
Okay She threw my ID at me, called me names, and told me to have a nice life.
Okay, done.
I don't know what that is.
Done.
That's what I meant to do.
Done, done.
again, I don't know the backstory here.
I feel like there's a little gap, something's missing, something
between you and your mom.
I know you said something started a while back, but I'm not sure where the
finances are coming into it, if she felt like you owed her for something,
she was never paid back for something.
Do you agree that you owe her something?
Is she now mad seeing that you guys are putting money into a wedding
when you still owe her money?
I don't know what that is.
It just says she's frustrated about financial issues we were having.
so I'm a little confused by that.
Okay, maybe we're gonna get a follow-up on that.
okay.
After that, Ryan and I made the decision to not invite her or my stepdad.
It was incredibly difficult, but Ryan stood by me through everything.
See, here's where I would be a little apprehensive now.
I agree with not inviting her because anyone that acts like
that, this toxic behavior, you don't know what they're gonna do.
you're gonna need security, ' cause she knows where you're getting married now.
and I'm glad I took out… 'Cause when this person sent me all these
details, like she put in like the city, she put in where they're getting
married, when they're getting married.
I'm like, I'm gonna take out all these details.
but it sounds like the mom was there, so I would get some kind of security to make
sure she doesn't show up, 'cause the fact that at the venue walkthrough she said,
" I'm not coming," and called you that morning freaking out, but then was there
early before everybody else and seemed fine, she has the potential to maybe
show up at a wedding she's not invited to it says, "My dad and Laura apologized
for what I went through and encouraged me to focus on the wedding instead.
I picked up more hours at work, we adjusted financially,
and we kept planning.
We also tried to plan an engagement party, but ended up canceling due
to schedule conflicts." Okay, I do not wanna come off judgy here.
I need to know more about this financial issue.
Is it with the mom?
Are you and your husband having financial issues?
Is she taking some of the burden?
Where's this financial, like, stress coming from?
I would say if you guys, again, and I'm not a financial coach, don't
take financial advice from me, I'm just curious about if there's
stress with finances or debt, there seems to be a lot of extra costs.
I'm trying to say this in the nicest way ever.
It seems like we're planning a wedding, paying for a venue.
Is that money coming from somewhere else?
Is that your money or, fiancé's money?
And then don't plan these extra things, right?
Engagement party, not needed, not needed.
The only time I think they're really fun is, like, if they propose, like,
that day and then you guys do some, like, fun little shindig together.
But to plan these elaborate engagement parties, it's not needed.
it's such a money suck, an extra cost.
If you can afford it, great.
If there was already some financial stress and, like, that's
pulling people away, it's okay.
It's okay to hold off.
Okay.
"On top of everything, we were dealing with the loss of a family
member, friends facing job struggles, and uncertainty about who would
even be able to attend the wedding.
It felt like one thing after another.
Despite all this, we are still moving forward.
Planning has slowed down, but we're focusing on what matters
most and doing the best we can.
That's part one of my story.
With everything that's happened so far, I'd really appreciate
any advice you might have."
Okay.
So I know I've kinda stopped along the way and shared my advice as it kinda comes up.
There's a lot going on here.
I think you guys are made a really smart choice of not
allowing your mom at the wedding.
I think it sounds like you and her already had some issues, and it's toxic.
At this point, her screaming at you, throwing things at you, telling you
to have a nice life, she's either serious or she's trying to test
and see what she can get away with.
that's good.
keep that distant, I think.
as for everything else, I'm not really sure, again, where
there seems to be a gap here.
Something is missing.
I don't know where the financial issues are coming from, where
the mom keeps bringing up, we're having financial issues.
The job thing as well, I'm not really sure.
It sounds like you're still able to work a little bit before the
job completely moves online.
So I would just, keep doing what you're doing with focusing on that.
It sounds like there's a lot of parties here.
You guys are doing a good job of sticking together.
It sounds like your husband or your soon-to-be husband is by
your side in every decision you make, which is what you need.
I'm hoping you don't have a part two with more other stories.
It sounds like you are anticipating more stories, more things to happen.
I hope not.
But again, I would really encourage you to look into some kind of
security for your wedding, just to make sure mom doesn't show up.
Because it sounds like she knows what the venue is, she knows the
date, she knows all the details.
so making sure you are limiting your, her access to you.
yeah, that's what I would say about that.
Again, you guys listening, tell me what you guys think.
I think there is a lot missing here.
I think we could get a little bit more out of here.
Just trying to make sure.
I know people, sometimes you guys listen it back through and you'll be like, "Oh,
you missed this. oh, she said this." when I read it through the first time
live, I, sometimes I miss some things.
So it sounds to me when I'm reading it through that your mom is maybe
stressed about you not having money or a job coming in, and then
there's some kind of other, thing.
Okay.
Wait.
I'm finding it as I'm kinda going back here.
Okay.
So it says, Even though I fix my mistakes, nothing ever seems to be enough for
them, especially when it comes to my jobs and paying back my college loans.
That's what it is.
So the mom is mad that you're not paying her back for your college loans.
Again, that's a thing that's gonna be different for every family.
Some families, the parents pay.
Some, they expect the kids to pay back.
Some, it's financial loans like college loans.
Like, that's what I'm currently paying off.
but It sounds like you guys were on good terms up until the wedding,
and she was supportive of the date.
So I think the stress of the wedding is getting to her, and she's
like, "Well, you haven't paid me back for your college loans yet.
Why are you paying for a wedding?
And now you're losing your job.
Where's this money coming from?" And finance and money brings a lot of stress,
like, and if we have financial stress from our previous generation, it gets
carried on after each generation, right?
so I think it really has to do with that.
She's seeing you spend this money, but maybe her and her husband now
are having financial issues because she feels like she's owed this
money from your college loans.
And again, I'm not gonna say what's right or wrong.
Every family does it different.
I don't know what you and your mom agreed to.
If she said, "Oh, I'll pay for half your college, and you pay the rest,"
or, " We're gonna go through a financial institution, and you have
to make payments," I don't know.
So that I can't really give too much advice on, but it sounds like
a lot of stress on both sides.
I mean, it's not like you even asked her for money for the wedding.
Saying that you're ruining, or that Ryan is ruining her 60th
birthday is very odd to me.
Again, I don't know what his allergies are, I'm sure you can find a place if she
really wants to celebrate with everyone.
If it doesn't work, I know people that have allergies, and they just
bring something separate, or they eat before, or they eat after.
Usually, they can make it work.
I've never heard of an allergy where you just, like, can't go places,
unless it's, like, super extreme.
So I think you're doing everything right.
Make sure you guys just stay on the same page.
Cut out the toxic behavior, and then just get on the same page when it comes to
everything you wanna do moving forward.
sounds like you were able to pick up more hours at work.
I don't know if that's your current job.
I'm really dissecting this one, you guys.
What do you… What… Tell me what you guys think.
I really hope there's not more.
It sounds like you're anticipating more issues, but if you guys just
stay firm with your mom's not invited.
I don't know if you've told her yet, or how you're gonna tell
her, or if you're gonna tell her.
but I would just say stick together, yeah.
That's wild.
All right.
sometimes I'm just at a loss for words.
I think I had many words, but, you know.
All right.
Let's end with some confessions.
A moment you felt overwhelmed at your own wedding or someone else's
I was maid of honor.
At cocktail hour, a friend spilled a full glass of wine on me accidentally.
Yeah, that would overwhelm me, yeah.
Had to greet everyone, didn't eat properly.
I've heard that a lot.
If you are a bride, sneak some snacks in the back, have something
set aside for you, have a wedding planner, day coordinator, your
maid of honor pull something aside so you can scarf down some food.
Make sure you're eating.
My photographer was amazing and literally put in the schedule, "Christa, eat."
And when I would get too distracted and start talking to my bridal party,
she's like, "Christa, you gotta eat.
Christa, you gotta eat.
Here's a sandwich.
You gotta eat." So, you need someone like that.
tried not to cry from stress when guests kept asking me questions.
Is that during the wedding planning or during the wedding itself?
Okay.
When distant relatives came through the receiving line and
my dad assumed I knew them well.
This makes me think you didn't know they were invited and
your dad just invited them.
There's something weird about certain people where they want, like, second
and third cousins invited or, like, distant relatives that they never see,
and you don't know them, and it's like, "But it's, a party for everybody."
It's like, no, like, that's weird to meet someone or, like, see someone for the
first time after 10 years at your wedding.
Like, we don't need that.
Okay, guys.
That's all I got this week.
My voice is dried out.
I need to rest it a little bit.
Thanks for hanging out with me, and I will see you next time.
Bye now.