<v Speaker 1>You're like, all of a sudden running it back to Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>but she didn't pick me, Bro, she didn't pick me.

<v Speaker 1>Be a man, casey and shut up. Be a man

<v Speaker 1>and shuts up. Since when is it woman's jobs to

<v Speaker 1>pick men? If you really think about it, Okay, the

<v Speaker 1>egg does not chase the sperm. Grow up. Hey babe,

<v Speaker 1>it's Asia Christina, miss quality, clean control. What is happening?

<v Speaker 1>Hello angels, We are live from my balcony. Little change

<v Speaker 1>of view here, It's a gorgeous summer day. Why not?

<v Speaker 1>The question is why not? Today? I want to do

<v Speaker 1>something a little different. We're going to dive into pop

<v Speaker 1>culture because sometimes reality TV is actually one of the

<v Speaker 1>best places to study human behavior. So today we're going

<v Speaker 1>to be talking about Love Island, specifically KC and Anaya,

<v Speaker 1>because their relationship has sparked so many conversations online. But

<v Speaker 1>this is not going to be about gossip. It's going

<v Speaker 1>to be us exploring relationship dynamics, emotional intelligence, attachment styles,

<v Speaker 1>and what we can actually learn from watching people date

<v Speaker 1>in real time. So for those of you that don't

<v Speaker 1>know what Love Island is, I just discovered Love Island

<v Speaker 1>last year. It is definitely a show that to be

<v Speaker 1>Honest can have a lot of sort of behaviors that

<v Speaker 1>can be a little over the top. I'll fast forward

<v Speaker 1>a little bit because sometimes it is a bit much

<v Speaker 1>to be Honest, But nonetheless, it's a show where people

<v Speaker 1>come to an island, specifically the island of Fiji, and

<v Speaker 1>they are there to explore different connections to ultimately see

<v Speaker 1>if they find the person that they love. In the

<v Speaker 1>midst of doing that, they are going to be tested

<v Speaker 1>with bombshells, which are new people that come into the

<v Speaker 1>villa that are supposed to kind of test those other

<v Speaker 1>couples and relationships to see if that is a connection

<v Speaker 1>that they also want to explore and ultimately end their

<v Speaker 1>other connection, where sometimes they will explore the connection with

<v Speaker 1>the bombshell only to go back to their normal couple

<v Speaker 1>and decide that they want to remain in their normal couple.

<v Speaker 1>I hope I've articulated that well enough for you guys

<v Speaker 1>to understand. With that being said, we have to talk

<v Speaker 1>about why people choose to pick sides. People are picking

<v Speaker 1>sides because wal we naturally project our own dating experiences.

<v Speaker 1>This is myself included. If you've dated KC, you're definitely

<v Speaker 1>going to defend Anaya. If you've dated Anaya, then you

<v Speaker 1>may empathize with KC. You know, reality TV just becomes

<v Speaker 1>a mirror essentially. Okay, so we're going to be breaking

<v Speaker 1>down their behaviors rather than their personalities, because at the

<v Speaker 1>end of the day, listen, we all have our opinions

<v Speaker 1>and all the different things, And yeah, I am okay

<v Speaker 1>with sharing mine, but I always want it to be,

<v Speaker 1>to the best of my ability, constructive. I don't want

<v Speaker 1>it to ever come across like I'm trying to just

<v Speaker 1>really dog someone out. I never want to do that.

<v Speaker 1>So one of my favorite things about Love Island specifically

<v Speaker 1>is not really just the drama, but it's really the

<v Speaker 1>front row seat to learning about human psychology if you

<v Speaker 1>think about it, right, we are literally watching strangers navigate attraction, rejection, jealousy, insecurity, communication, conflict,

<v Speaker 1>and vulnerability in real time. And that's very fascinating. Right. So,

<v Speaker 1>whether you love them or hate them, or you're somewhere

<v Speaker 1>in the middle, I think that there's a lot that

<v Speaker 1>we can learn from the relationships from just watching them Because,

<v Speaker 1>contrary to popular opinion, sometimes reality TV is not only

<v Speaker 1>exposing the contestants, it's actually exposing us, what we defend,

<v Speaker 1>who we judge, who reminds us of our ex who

<v Speaker 1>reminds us of ourselves. Let's get into it, so can

<v Speaker 1>I ask you a question? Why do people become so

<v Speaker 1>emotionally invested in TV couples? Like people are literally fighting

<v Speaker 1>in comment sections over people that they've never met. And

<v Speaker 1>I don't think it's because we care that much about

<v Speaker 1>the contestants. I think it's because they represent our own experiences.

<v Speaker 1>Like I said, if case reminds you of someone who

<v Speaker 1>broke your heart, you're probably going to project that onto him.

<v Speaker 1>If Anaya reminds you of yourself, you're going to defend her.

<v Speaker 1>Because we don't typically tend to watch reality TV objectively.

<v Speaker 1>We watch it through our own wounds a lot of

<v Speaker 1>the time. And that's why two people can watch the

<v Speaker 1>exact same interaction and come away with completely different opinions.

<v Speaker 1>You know, one person may may have what Let's actually

<v Speaker 1>back up really quickly and talk about the context. And

<v Speaker 1>for those of you that haven't seen the show, this

<v Speaker 1>is going to be a little bit of a spoiler.

<v Speaker 1>So if we backtrack all the way to the beginning,

<v Speaker 1>Casey and Anaya technically did not pick each other. They

<v Speaker 1>ended up together by default. I will be honest with you,

<v Speaker 1>I was surprised in discovering that Anaya ended up liking Casey.

<v Speaker 1>One thing that stood out to me was I feel

<v Speaker 1>like Casey would always make comments about you know, you know,

<v Speaker 1>you're a queen, you grew up from a good family,

<v Speaker 1>like he was pouring into her, like he said. But

<v Speaker 1>the reason that stuck out to me is because it

<v Speaker 1>almost felt to me, which I do agree in my

<v Speaker 1>personal opinion in hindsight, that Casey feels like he's very

<v Speaker 1>different from Anaya and he just doesn't understand that. So

<v Speaker 1>it almost felt like he was trying to be what

<v Speaker 1>he thought that she deserved or wanted, but he was

<v Speaker 1>never able to really figure it out, which is why

<v Speaker 1>he would experience feeling like he was too playful or

<v Speaker 1>to nonchalant. He just couldn't really grasp what is it

<v Speaker 1>that she what it was that she actually really wanted.

<v Speaker 1>So with that being said, I feel like that was

<v Speaker 1>that was there, That was the conflict right within itself.

<v Speaker 1>At the end of the day, the mask has to

<v Speaker 1>fall off eventually, and we a lot of the times

<v Speaker 1>tend to choose familiarity at the end of the day.

<v Speaker 1>So when TT you a little girl comes into the

<v Speaker 1>villa from Casa Amore right, Also, Kasa a Moore is

<v Speaker 1>a bunch of new men and women that are there

<v Speaker 1>to challenge the couples while you spend a couple of

<v Speaker 1>days apart to test that connection as well. So t

<v Speaker 1>T came in and he connected with her. To be honest,

<v Speaker 1>no tea and no shade, I'm not shocked at their connection.

<v Speaker 1>I'm not shocked that Casey feels naturally closer to prove

<v Speaker 1>my point and that this is not just in my head.

<v Speaker 1>If you remember his speech when he came back from

<v Speaker 1>Casa after Anaya picked him and felt very embarrassed by

<v Speaker 1>the whole situation, he said that TT reminds him of

<v Speaker 1>his family, his sister, his mother. That proved my point.

<v Speaker 1>That was all I needed to see. I was like, Wow,

<v Speaker 1>I really do do this because the fact that I

<v Speaker 1>already claim that that comment once again came back into

<v Speaker 1>my mind where I remembered that Casey kept saying, you

<v Speaker 1>know you come from a good family because Anaya very

<v Speaker 1>well spoken. Anaya said that her father was like in

<v Speaker 1>the NBA or something like that. I don't know when

<v Speaker 1>or what her father's name is. But it's obvious that,

<v Speaker 1>you know, Anaya grew up in a you know, more

<v Speaker 1>of a different upbringing than let's say, Casey did. That's

<v Speaker 1>just the truth, right, Like we're just calling a spade

<v Speaker 1>a spade. So with that being said, I think he tried,

<v Speaker 1>but ultimately we saw that that was really not his

<v Speaker 1>type of vibe anyway, and she should know that he's

<v Speaker 1>not really what she wants. And that's why I was

<v Speaker 1>very happy that Melanie made that comment and said, like,

<v Speaker 1>you know, you know the type of girl you are,

<v Speaker 1>Like you know that that man's not technically for you anyway,

<v Speaker 1>Like you know the type of woman you are. That's

<v Speaker 1>just the truth. So one thing that I notice is

<v Speaker 1>how differently that they process conflict. Right, some people they

<v Speaker 1>need to talk immediately, others need space, some people become

<v Speaker 1>emotional and others shut down. But where relationships begin to

<v Speaker 1>suffer is when we expect someone to communicate like we do.

<v Speaker 1>I know, I definitely am this way myself because I

<v Speaker 1>like to attack things head on. I don't I might

<v Speaker 1>need a little bit of time to think about it,

<v Speaker 1>very rare, but by time, I mean give me an

<v Speaker 1>hour or so or whatever, maybe max like a day,

<v Speaker 1>and that's dragging it for me. But you don't need

<v Speaker 1>to give me a week to process something like, Hello,

<v Speaker 1>it is what it is. Let's just jump to let's

<v Speaker 1>get to the conclusion here. I don't need to take

<v Speaker 1>forever because otherwise I feel like, Okay, this is pointless.

<v Speaker 1>You know, somebody has to decide something now. One thing

<v Speaker 1>that I always tell women in general is communication is

<v Speaker 1>not just talking right, It is making the other person

<v Speaker 1>feel understood. And there's a huge difference there because you

<v Speaker 1>can't technically answer or someone's question without ever addressing their

<v Speaker 1>emotional need. And that's why so many couples miss each other.

<v Speaker 1>So in their dynamic with Casey and Anaya, like I

<v Speaker 1>said in the beginning, he was trying to be what

<v Speaker 1>he thought that she deserved by pouring into her. Oh yeah,

<v Speaker 1>uh yeah. And now that I think about it, I'm

<v Speaker 1>just gonna say, like, I think the boy has a heart,

<v Speaker 1>but he's definitely immature in the sense where like Corbin,

<v Speaker 1>just because you found something that you wanted doesn't mean

<v Speaker 1>that you should go about it in a disrespectful way.

<v Speaker 1>He could have gone about it in a different way. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>he could have came back from Kasa and said, you

<v Speaker 1>know what, I actually didn't realize how much I do

<v Speaker 1>enjoy spending time with t T. And that's no disrespect

<v Speaker 1>to you and Aya, and I know that this is shocking,

<v Speaker 1>and I know that it's heartbreaking to you, and I'm

<v Speaker 1>sorry that you even have to find out like this,

<v Speaker 1>and I know that nothing I'm saying is going to

<v Speaker 1>help the pain that I'm causing you to feel right now.

<v Speaker 1>But I I truly just felt like the things that

<v Speaker 1>maybe we weren't connecting on, I just for some reason

<v Speaker 1>couldn't find the courage until I took a step back

<v Speaker 1>and we did spend a couple of days apart, and

<v Speaker 1>it kind of made me feel like the connection that

<v Speaker 1>I have with Tet ended up feeling like it was

<v Speaker 1>more in alignment with what I really wanted. And again,

<v Speaker 1>it's no disrespect to you as a woman. I still

<v Speaker 1>think you're amazing, and I'm sorry that it had to

<v Speaker 1>happen all the things. Obviously, in a perfect world, that's

<v Speaker 1>what we would have wanted for him to say. It's

<v Speaker 1>still would have hurt, It's still would have stung, but

<v Speaker 1>Anaya would have respected it and said, you know what,

<v Speaker 1>You're right, it does suck all these different things. But

<v Speaker 1>this is where I think some people take it too far.

<v Speaker 1>You want to just keep riding the horse, riding the

<v Speaker 1>horse knowing that something's wrong. And what adds insult to

<v Speaker 1>injury is saying things that you don't mean. Hello, Zach

<v Speaker 1>saying to kDa at night, love you. That's how you

<v Speaker 1>know a man's playing games. Listen. I think Zach does

<v Speaker 1>like kDa a little bit, you know, I think he does.

<v Speaker 1>And I love Cada, by the way, But joking around

<v Speaker 1>and saying love you is lame. It's lame, okay. Love

<v Speaker 1>you is not something you joke around saying. It's not

<v Speaker 1>really funny, okay, because now we don't know. It's like

<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to say it without actually committing to it,

<v Speaker 1>so that I just like, don't look stupid. If you're

<v Speaker 1>gonna be a man, be a man all the way.

<v Speaker 1>If you're going to be a man, be a man

<v Speaker 1>all the way. And I think case was very avoidant.

<v Speaker 1>He felt like in order for me to stand Tentos

<v Speaker 1>down on this, and again, this is how it's perceived, Casey.

<v Speaker 1>This is what your edit looks like. I gotta be like,

<v Speaker 1>I don't give it. I don't give a darn't, I

<v Speaker 1>don't care, don't, I don't care what anyone's feeling. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>I gotta do this for me. That's the stance you

<v Speaker 1>had to take. That to me is weak. I gotta

<v Speaker 1>be so angry and so ten toe's down so it

<v Speaker 1>doesn't look like, uh, you know, so that I can

<v Speaker 1>really carry on with this decision. No, you don't. You

<v Speaker 1>could have approached it with humility and been whatever. And

<v Speaker 1>then you have TT stepping in after knowing this man

<v Speaker 1>for seventy two hours. I mean, geez, I know that

<v Speaker 1>the show is curated to make you feel closer to people.

<v Speaker 1>You have no cell phone, you have no anything. Your

<v Speaker 1>only concern and care is what is manufactured in front

<v Speaker 1>of you. But I do think it was very tasteless

<v Speaker 1>and off putting. When she spoke to Trinity and she

<v Speaker 1>brought the Bad Girls Club to Love Island, she said,

<v Speaker 1>which is now mimeable. I'm TT you a little girl,

<v Speaker 1>And in fact, TT, I'm here to tell you are

<v Speaker 1>a little girl. The way that you acted and responded

<v Speaker 1>was little girl ish. That's just the truth, okay, But

<v Speaker 1>it was a good meme, so thank you for that.

<v Speaker 1>Tt Aka t Era I believe her name is, but

<v Speaker 1>it was just tasteless. It was just gross, honestly, the

<v Speaker 1>way that she came defending a man she met for

<v Speaker 1>seventy two hours, not really knowing what the actual inner

<v Speaker 1>experience was. Like, these types of women go wrong. You

<v Speaker 1>want to ride and die. You want to ride, so

<v Speaker 1>the wheels fall off with men that probably will end

<v Speaker 1>up betraying you. Because integrity is everything and it's a

<v Speaker 1>character trait. That's why it does matter the way that

<v Speaker 1>Corbin spoke about Kenzie. As soon as she left here,

<v Speaker 1>Parmida is going around. But I just feel like, you know,

<v Speaker 1>that's how men I and that's it just add in

<v Speaker 1>context here. If it's a little animated, that's just my personality.

<v Speaker 1>But Parmita, you're saying this, and you're telling Corbin you'll

<v Speaker 1>better not play with me. You will better not. But

<v Speaker 1>history shows it doesn't matter that he's into you now,

<v Speaker 1>because as soon as he finally moves to Miami and

<v Speaker 1>he sees what's out there and he gets a taste

<v Speaker 1>of the fame that he's gonna get from this show,

<v Speaker 1>I'll see you on the other side girl. You gotta

<v Speaker 1>watch it because every woman it was giving very much.

<v Speaker 1>He's like that with hair, but he's not gonna be

<v Speaker 1>like that with me. You cannot have that mentality, right.

<v Speaker 1>Different people bring out different sides of people. I'm privy

<v Speaker 1>to that. But you don't want to be that girl

<v Speaker 1>that has that stance of oh yeah, he's just like

<v Speaker 1>that with her. But huh wait till he gets with me.

<v Speaker 1>Because like I said, he was really acting like he

<v Speaker 1>liked Kenzi. It kind of shocked a lot of us.

<v Speaker 1>He was really acting like he likes her. Again, lesson

<v Speaker 1>for him. You do not need to shame the woman

<v Speaker 1>you were with before just because you found someone that

<v Speaker 1>you find more attractive and that you connect with more.

<v Speaker 1>Where Corbyn went wrong was not the fact that he

<v Speaker 1>coupled up with Parmida. Where he went wrong was the

<v Speaker 1>fact that he had to shame Kenzi in order to

<v Speaker 1>be in that couple. Yeah. I'm not even thinking about

<v Speaker 1>Kenzi anymore. Bro, I'm not even thinking about her anymore.

<v Speaker 1>Brokenz Genzi at the window, Bro, really like that's it.

<v Speaker 1>You were riding with her for so long. When you

<v Speaker 1>guys got separated and you got coupled with Melanie, you

<v Speaker 1>still went back to Kenzi and again it just goes

<v Speaker 1>to show it's really tricky how human psychology is. And

<v Speaker 1>to be honest with you, I just think it's because

<v Speaker 1>Corbyn technically was not really attracted to anyone else in

<v Speaker 1>the villa like that. The same thing with k C.

<v Speaker 1>I think Casey genuinely was nervous to go and try

<v Speaker 1>to spark a connection with Soul. I do think that

<v Speaker 1>he was like that. What I think is weird is

<v Speaker 1>that I feel like Casey was putting on a personality

<v Speaker 1>once again to be what Annya wants. He was trying

<v Speaker 1>to pour into her. He kept saying, pouring into her,

<v Speaker 1>almost like Okay, I think this is the archetype of

<v Speaker 1>the man that I think that she wants and should deserve,

<v Speaker 1>So let me just become that archetype. The issue with

<v Speaker 1>that is we start to associate that with your personality.

<v Speaker 1>So when you blindside us with who you really are,

<v Speaker 1>it seems like we didn't know you, but you feel

<v Speaker 1>like you want to send ten toes down because you're like, yo,

<v Speaker 1>this is me, and we're like, no, it was not.

<v Speaker 1>That is not the man that I saw for the

<v Speaker 1>past three weeks. But that's because the man that you

<v Speaker 1>saw for the past three weeks was not who he

<v Speaker 1>actually is. Am I making sense? So with that being said,

<v Speaker 1>we have to realize that sometimes men take it a

<v Speaker 1>little bit too far and it can feel very blind siding,

<v Speaker 1>because all of a sudden, you're like, wait, you were

<v Speaker 1>pouring into me all these different things. Let's not also

<v Speaker 1>forget when Casey said to Anaya, you know, you're a

<v Speaker 1>beautiful black queen, and you know, I just want to

<v Speaker 1>you know, like, you know, I don't even remember I'm here,

<v Speaker 1>that she kind of reminds him of you know, I

<v Speaker 1>don't know if he said she reminds him of someone,

<v Speaker 1>but he was definitely saying at one point, talking about

<v Speaker 1>black queens and black this, and and especially being a

<v Speaker 1>dark skinned woman, it's very important to you know, have

<v Speaker 1>that representation and feeling poured into something of that nature. Guys,

<v Speaker 1>I am paraphrasing like I really legitimately am regardless. Needless

<v Speaker 1>to say, it's funny because as soon as Soul came

<v Speaker 1>into the villa, all of a sudden, he was talking

<v Speaker 1>about immediately how Soul looks just like his ex but

<v Speaker 1>what a pixie cut not that you're not allowed to

<v Speaker 1>have that happen here. That's not what I'm saying. But

<v Speaker 1>the point is is like the fact that you made

<v Speaker 1>it seem like, oh yeah, like Anaya is definitely like

<v Speaker 1>your vibe. But then Soul comes and you're like, I'm

<v Speaker 1>not even gonna lie, bro, she looks just like my ex?

<v Speaker 1>Are you? So? Were you serious with what? Yes? Two

<v Speaker 1>things can be true? Hello, Right, that's in tell legence.

<v Speaker 1>It just seemed like the timing was interesting to me,

<v Speaker 1>at least the way that the show is edited. Am

<v Speaker 1>I making sense? I need you guys to sound off

<v Speaker 1>in the comment sections because I really want to discuss

<v Speaker 1>this with you guys, what is all happening and what

<v Speaker 1>your opinions are about him. Does anyone remember him making

<v Speaker 1>that comment, because I know he definitely made a comment

<v Speaker 1>to allude to her being a beautiful black woman all

<v Speaker 1>the different things, which that is a fact. She is beautiful, Okay,

<v Speaker 1>And then the next thing, you know, he was talking

<v Speaker 1>about how Soul looks just like his ex. I don't

<v Speaker 1>know if it's just my own interpretation, and I could

<v Speaker 1>be wrong, but I felt like he was almost insinuating

<v Speaker 1>like a Naya was more his type. He loves like,

<v Speaker 1>you know, darker skinned black woman. To some degree, that's

<v Speaker 1>how I perceived it. Again, you know, you can have

<v Speaker 1>multiple types, so that's not the issue. It's just the

<v Speaker 1>way that the edit came across. It looked odd that

<v Speaker 1>that's what we felt like you went, you were going

<v Speaker 1>for so Naya fit the bill, but then as soon

<v Speaker 1>as soul came you were like, oh, that looks just

<v Speaker 1>like my ex. It just felt a little bit incongruent. Okay, regardless,

<v Speaker 1>It just furthermore proves the fact that this is why

<v Speaker 1>I kept saying, I feel like I don't know Casey.

<v Speaker 1>I feel like I don't know case right, And case

<v Speaker 1>was thinking in his head the entire time silent killer. Okay, okay,

<v Speaker 1>when am I going to get the chance to really like,

<v Speaker 1>you know, while out like I want to? He was

<v Speaker 1>willing to go as far as he possibly could, seeming

<v Speaker 1>like the sacrificial lamb and the really good guy that

<v Speaker 1>just like really likes Aanaya. Do I think that he

<v Speaker 1>cares for Anaya? Yeah? I do, human to human because

<v Speaker 1>I think Anaya is such a great woman and she's

<v Speaker 1>very understanding. Anaya has said multiple times, if you want

<v Speaker 1>to go explore. I'm not trying to hold you back

<v Speaker 1>from any of your connections. Would she probably be a

<v Speaker 1>little bit irritated and upset, probably, but at least the

<v Speaker 1>truth would be out where she gave him permission and

<v Speaker 1>she can move how she wants to move. But it's

<v Speaker 1>the fact that when she gave him the window, he

<v Speaker 1>would turn around and make it seem like, no, that's

<v Speaker 1>not what he wanted to do. Then this second he's

<v Speaker 1>fully not with her. He wants to come back. Yeah,

<v Speaker 1>this decision was not for Anaya, it was for me.

<v Speaker 1>Bro Come on, you could have definitely worded that better.

<v Speaker 1>There was a way to say it, just like with Corbyn. Yes,

<v Speaker 1>Kenzie is with Dylan, but she didn't have to dog

<v Speaker 1>her out in order to be with Parmita. It doesn't

<v Speaker 1>make any sense. So their relationship, of course made me

<v Speaker 1>think about attachment styles. An anxious attachment style is gonna

<v Speaker 1>look like please don't leave me, but an avoidant attachment

<v Speaker 1>style often says please do not need me. I feel

<v Speaker 1>like in a way, Casey is avoidant because it's taking

<v Speaker 1>him a long time, considering the show's timing of things,

<v Speaker 1>to just have that uncomfortable conversation. Anaya even went up

<v Speaker 1>to teach little girl and said, like, girl, it's my upsetness.

<v Speaker 1>My anger is not even towards you, and I respect

<v Speaker 1>that because she understands that TT is coming into the

<v Speaker 1>house and out of respect, she does need to help

<v Speaker 1>make t T feel more comfortable, whatever the case is,

<v Speaker 1>because I mean, I don't think t T would have

<v Speaker 1>done it if I'm really gonna keep it a buck

<v Speaker 1>with you. So sometimes it's also funny to see the

<v Speaker 1>passiveness in like people's behaviors. Oh no, girl, oh my gosh,

<v Speaker 1>Like no, I would never and it's like TT stop

<v Speaker 1>like you only change and switched up your energy respectfully

<v Speaker 1>because of the fact that Anaya genuinely came to you

<v Speaker 1>as the mature woman that she is. And I mean,

<v Speaker 1>I think it's obvious whose side I technically am on,

<v Speaker 1>because I do not tolerate unnecessary disrespect and for her

<v Speaker 1>to say, yeah, girl, it should never be that, it

<v Speaker 1>should never be all that over a man. Really, Tet,

<v Speaker 1>did you learn your lesson that fast? Do you feel

<v Speaker 1>silly for your behavior? You know, like, I don't feel

<v Speaker 1>like I have to run it back. I don't recall

<v Speaker 1>you apologizing and saying, you know what, girl, I'm not

<v Speaker 1>gonna lie. I was just feeling heated in the moment.

<v Speaker 1>I should have just shut my mouth because I was

<v Speaker 1>really new I was I don't know, I felt like

<v Speaker 1>awkward because everyone was coming at me and I kind

<v Speaker 1>of just jumped to his defense. But girl, it shouldn't

<v Speaker 1>have been all that. Even that, I would have been

<v Speaker 1>like cool because you acknowledged everything. Girl, we're good like

<v Speaker 1>water under the bridge, like truly, But I feel like

<v Speaker 1>she was just like girl, it shouldn't have been it is,

<v Speaker 1>especially over man. What do you mean especially over man? TT,

<v Speaker 1>You're the one that went crazy overman. You're the reason

<v Speaker 1>why half the argument started because you chimed in okay TT,

<v Speaker 1>little girl hello, Like that's why the okay next subject.

<v Speaker 1>So because of that, that's where we ended up being right.

<v Speaker 1>But like I said, discussing attachment styles, I believe that

<v Speaker 1>Casey is a little bit avoidant. A secure attachment style

<v Speaker 1>says we can work through this now here is what

<v Speaker 1>I don't like. People online love diagnosing everyone right they do.

<v Speaker 1>I just did it just now right where I do

<v Speaker 1>feel like he's a little bit of an avoidant, but

<v Speaker 1>maybe he's not I do not know Casey. I do

<v Speaker 1>not know any of these people. I'm making a just

<v Speaker 1>as good as anyone else on the internet. We do

<v Speaker 1>not know these people in any capacity, right. But at

<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, attachment styles do explain behavior,

<v Speaker 1>and given these people's edits, this is currently what it

<v Speaker 1>looks like. It does not excuse your behavior. But being

<v Speaker 1>an anxious person, let's say, does not give you the

<v Speaker 1>permission to control someone. Being an avoidant person does not

<v Speaker 1>give you the permission to emotionally disappear from a dynamic,

<v Speaker 1>because at some point, healing becomes your responsibility. And even

<v Speaker 1>in the challenge that they were doing when Meg thee

<v Speaker 1>Stallion came. When they were doing that challenge, I noticed Casey.

<v Speaker 1>To me it was significant. I'm sorry that actually I'm not,

<v Speaker 1>but it was significant that when the girls were aiming

<v Speaker 1>for him for the cream challenge, he kept turning around.

<v Speaker 1>To me. It was almost symbolic of the fact that, like,

<v Speaker 1>he just has too much ego. He can't just eat it.

<v Speaker 1>Even Corbin was next to him, like, bro, just take it,

<v Speaker 1>take it, Bro, take it, take it. That's what Corbin

<v Speaker 1>was saying. Corbin was saying that, but case had to

<v Speaker 1>be like turning his head all every which way, and

<v Speaker 1>they were like, why are you turning? Just take it.

<v Speaker 1>You're the one that did it. You created this environment.

<v Speaker 1>That's what you did. You could have gone about it

<v Speaker 1>in a different way, but instead of standing on your

<v Speaker 1>own ten toes and saying, you know what, listen, I'm

<v Speaker 1>sorry for how this is coming across. And I know

<v Speaker 1>that it's heartbreaking and it's honestly not fair that I

<v Speaker 1>came up with this realization. To be honest, I'll own it.

<v Speaker 1>I was playing up someone, honestly, hoping that I would

<v Speaker 1>catch up to the feelings that I was trying to

<v Speaker 1>align myself with and I just couldn't. And it wasn't

<v Speaker 1>until I went into Casamore that I realized that, man,

<v Speaker 1>I was putting on a facade. And there's a part

<v Speaker 1>of me no throw off against you in any capacity.

<v Speaker 1>That kind of felt good, just knowing, like, dang, like

<v Speaker 1>I connected with her. She chose me and I didn't

<v Speaker 1>have to whatever. And you know how much it broke

<v Speaker 1>my heart, guys to watch and I goes, I picked you.

<v Speaker 1>I picked you in this challenge, I picked you in

<v Speaker 1>that challenge. I'm picking you now and you did not

<v Speaker 1>pick me, Like, I don't know. That was just so

<v Speaker 1>emotional because you can see like you can feel like

<v Speaker 1>the genuine heartbreak of like you're trying to you're like,

<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden running it back to Yeah, but

<v Speaker 1>she didn't pick me, Bro, she didn't pick me. Be

<v Speaker 1>a man, casey and shut up. Be a man and

<v Speaker 1>shuts up? Since when is it woman's jobs to pick men?

<v Speaker 1>If you really think about it, Okay, the egg does

<v Speaker 1>not chase the sperm grow up. So your butt hurt

<v Speaker 1>from day one because and I didn't pick you, and

<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden that's coming up as a wound.

<v Speaker 1>And that's your your take on why you chose TT. No,

<v Speaker 1>you chose TT period because you are genuinely more attracted

<v Speaker 1>to TT. That's okay, that's okay. You can't help that

<v Speaker 1>you are attracted to TT because she's more familiar to you.

<v Speaker 1>She reminds you of your your cousins and things like that. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>you cannot help that, but don't turn it into you

<v Speaker 1>know what, bro, and yeah, you know te tally she

<v Speaker 1>even picked me like everything is kind of rooted in ego.

<v Speaker 1>It's like, okay, she might not have picked you. But

<v Speaker 1>then you turn around, you didn't pick her either. None

<v Speaker 1>of you picked each other if you remember when you

<v Speaker 1>had to when you had to do that whole open

<v Speaker 1>door challenge. So why are we putting the blame on

<v Speaker 1>a naya? Like, you didn't pick me, no yet nobody

<v Speaker 1>picked you, Casey yet nobody picked you. Period. You didn't

<v Speaker 1>pick a Naya. You weren't behind a nyas door. You

<v Speaker 1>guys became a couple by default because there was also

<v Speaker 1>no one behind Anya's door as well. You forgot that part,

<v Speaker 1>So don't try to blame her all right, Well, people

<v Speaker 1>get wrong about love, right is I guess one of

<v Speaker 1>the biggest lies that we've been sold is that love

<v Speaker 1>should feel intense all the time. Butterflies, chaos, highs, lows, drama, passion.

<v Speaker 1>But healthy love is actually kind of boring sometimes. And

<v Speaker 1>I don't mean boring in a bad way. I mean peaceful, okay, peaceful, predictable, consistent.

<v Speaker 1>Some people miss stake consistency for lack of chemistry because

<v Speaker 1>they're addicted to the emotional rollercoasters. So if your nervous

<v Speaker 1>system only recognizes chaos, piece is going to feel very

<v Speaker 1>unfamiliar to you. And another thing everyone suddenly becomes the

<v Speaker 1>relation relationship expert of course when Love Island is on,

<v Speaker 1>which is why I'm trying to be careful about how

<v Speaker 1>I'm going about it, and I keep on giving myself

<v Speaker 1>the disclaimer of at least that's how the edit looks.

<v Speaker 1>Because we are watching edited footage. We do not know

<v Speaker 1>these people, and we may be we are seeing an

<v Speaker 1>hour out of a twenty four hour filming session from

<v Speaker 1>these people. And imagine someone editing your relationship and your

<v Speaker 1>worst argument becoming your entire personality. That's basically what happens.

<v Speaker 1>So I'm open to giving these people grace, but for

<v Speaker 1>context here, being that it's public information. It's on the Internet.

<v Speaker 1>All of us are viewing it for our own consumption,

<v Speaker 1>and we saw it. It allows us to have a

<v Speaker 1>public opinion. Okay, it invites public opinion, So I think

<v Speaker 1>it's fun to analyze their behavior. But we also have

<v Speaker 1>to stay humble enough to admit that we do not

<v Speaker 1>know everything, and that also includes myself. I know a

<v Speaker 1>lot though, don't get it twisted. But at the end

<v Speaker 1>of the day, you guys can let me know if

<v Speaker 1>you want me to do a full breakdown and dive

<v Speaker 1>into the rest of the characters. I just was so

<v Speaker 1>deeply moved by the Casey and a Naya situation in general,

<v Speaker 1>because I truly felt like, oh my goodness, Like it

<v Speaker 1>was so heartbreaking breaking that speech of I picked you

<v Speaker 1>at the fire pit, I picked you for the love

<v Speaker 1>letter challenge, I'm picking you again and you did not

<v Speaker 1>pick me. That was so strong and loud because it's true.

<v Speaker 1>And now, just like I predicted spoiler alert, spoiler alert,

<v Speaker 1>Carl and Amora came back. So now we're really going

<v Speaker 1>to see Sincere if you are. First of all, Sincere

<v Speaker 1>is everything, but Sincere. The way that he even looked

<v Speaker 1>at Ama as soon as she popped out of that

<v Speaker 1>cake looked like crap, and she looked good. You know,

<v Speaker 1>I gotta play it like he wasn't even like darn,

<v Speaker 1>like I'm really concerned, I think for a Mora being here,

<v Speaker 1>he was looking like, yo, I gotta figure out how

<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna explore all this, like I don't know, Like

<v Speaker 1>that's just what he gave. In the end. I am

<v Speaker 1>so happy for Anaya that Carl came back into the villa.

<v Speaker 1>That's another thing I wanted to talk about, Anaya. Carl

<v Speaker 1>picked you and you did not pick him. Case never

<v Speaker 1>picked you. It was passive, and I feel like Case

<v Speaker 1>was trying to project that passivity onto you. He felt

<v Speaker 1>unsure about the connection because he was unsure about the connection.

<v Speaker 1>Do you understand Carl came in gunning for you, I

<v Speaker 1>want you, and you said, I'm gonna gun for Casey,

<v Speaker 1>who always has made me feel like I kind of

<v Speaker 1>really don't know what's going on with him. You didn't

<v Speaker 1>even take the risk at at best or at worst,

<v Speaker 1>you could have gotten in a couple with Carl and

<v Speaker 1>still explored your connection with Case and explained to Casey

<v Speaker 1>why you also wanted to explore connection with Karl, not

<v Speaker 1>eliminate Carl completely, because now here we are where you

<v Speaker 1>went against your gut. You said you went with your gut. No,

<v Speaker 1>you went against your gut. You thought your loyalty was

<v Speaker 1>going to pay off to a man who was never

<v Speaker 1>truly sure about you. That's what you thought. If you

<v Speaker 1>look back at the data, you've always expressed more confusion

<v Speaker 1>than certainty in regards to Case the entire season, and

<v Speaker 1>you still chose that unfamiliar, that like unsafety, as opposed

<v Speaker 1>to Carl, who came saying I want you and I

<v Speaker 1>want to be with you. It broke my heart when

<v Speaker 1>Anaya was crying and Carl is looking at Anaya and

<v Speaker 1>he's mouthing, it's okay, Anaya, it's okay, like trying to

<v Speaker 1>soothe her, because that's how deeply connected he felt to

<v Speaker 1>her and how sure he was that he wanted her.

<v Speaker 1>And that's the thing we as women have to also

<v Speaker 1>recognize that here you have a man that was He's attractive,

<v Speaker 1>he's a great guy, all right. It's not like he's

<v Speaker 1>gross and horrible looking, and you're like, girl, I just

<v Speaker 1>can't get into him. Girl, he's just not it like,

<v Speaker 1>Carl's an attractive guy and he's nice and all the

<v Speaker 1>different things. He's kind, he's sure about you, and you

<v Speaker 1>still chose Case who literally has only made you feel

<v Speaker 1>like you don't know where you two stand. I don't know, Anaya,

<v Speaker 1>what does that really say? And I know you felt it,

<v Speaker 1>you feel it now where you're like, oh my gosh,

<v Speaker 1>I really made a mistake. Why do I keep choosing

<v Speaker 1>the uncertainty thinking that my loyalty one day is going

<v Speaker 1>to pay off to men who are not loyal to me.

<v Speaker 1>You have to understand that that feeling that you're feeling

<v Speaker 1>is called red flag. It means go the other way.

<v Speaker 1>And we just like to be so self sacrificing thinking

<v Speaker 1>that there's an award on the other side. There's no

<v Speaker 1>reward for being so sacrificial like that, Absolutely none, especially

<v Speaker 1>when someone is making you question your position in their

<v Speaker 1>life for so long. So we have to realize if

<v Speaker 1>we are saying that we want something as woman, we

<v Speaker 1>better not stop until we get that exact thing or

<v Speaker 1>very very close to it. She straight up said, Carl

<v Speaker 1>is perfect. He's just great to me. But I'm just

<v Speaker 1>gonna risk it and choose Case. Not because Case is

<v Speaker 1>amazing to me and I know that he has strong

<v Speaker 1>feelings for me. But I think a part of a NYA,

<v Speaker 1>like I said, was hoping her loyalty would pay off.

<v Speaker 1>So what are my biggest takeaways? Number One, as we know,

<v Speaker 1>chemistry is not compatibility, and that's something that's Sincere, who's everything.

<v Speaker 1>But Sincere needs to learn. Okay, he needs to change

<v Speaker 1>his name. Okay, he's insincere, unsincere, insincere, unsincere, he's insincere. Okay,

<v Speaker 1>anyone like again, let me know if you guys want

<v Speaker 1>me to do a deep dive on the rest of

<v Speaker 1>the characters. They're not characters. I'm sorry, people, let me

<v Speaker 1>know if you want me to do a deep dive

<v Speaker 1>on them, because he is just he is as ridiculous

<v Speaker 1>as it comes. He will explore every connection and then

<v Speaker 1>come back to Melanie like, no, what are you saying, Like, like,

<v Speaker 1>I know, I know that I want to be with

<v Speaker 1>you right now. I feel like, you know, I had

<v Speaker 1>to explore that, you know, because I had to just

<v Speaker 1>see what was going on. But I just feel like,

<v Speaker 1>you know, I'm agreeing with you, Like I feel like

<v Speaker 1>I just needed to get that out of my system

<v Speaker 1>so that I could know that I want to be

<v Speaker 1>with you. Melanie's right, Why do you have to go

<v Speaker 1>through the entire world to finally realize you like me?

<v Speaker 1>And that's why I feel like Melanie is like she's

<v Speaker 1>always in these toxic dynamics. She said that since the

<v Speaker 1>beginning of the show, and here she is she found

<v Speaker 1>it again. She dumped Corey to the side. She dumped

<v Speaker 1>Corey to the side, and Corey was warning her about

<v Speaker 1>how Sincere was but because Sincere and her were so good,

<v Speaker 1>but history has shown that anytime Sincere gets a chance,

<v Speaker 1>he's gonna take it. He's gonna take the pass, then

<v Speaker 1>come back and say I'm sorry as a band aid,

<v Speaker 1>like Melanie's said, so that he can get more time

<v Speaker 1>with you, and then convince you that because he's currently here,

<v Speaker 1>that that should solidify your you guys foundation and make

<v Speaker 1>you stronger as a couple. Oh so you have to

<v Speaker 1>cheat on me twelve hundred times so that I can

<v Speaker 1>now know for sure I'm the woman you want to

<v Speaker 1>be with. You have to step out on me a

<v Speaker 1>million times for you to be like, oh no, it's

<v Speaker 1>definitely you. Why do you think I could keep coming back?

<v Speaker 1>That's the manipulation right there. Sincere is everything. But Sincere okay,

<v Speaker 1>and at least that's his edit. Now you can have

<v Speaker 1>an insane attraction to someone and still be terrible together.

<v Speaker 1>Melanie and Sincere number two. Love without emotional safety will

<v Speaker 1>never last. That's another reason why Sincere and Melanie not

<v Speaker 1>a good couple, because there's no emotional safety there. And

<v Speaker 1>that's why even after getting him back, she still can't

<v Speaker 1>feel at rest. Same thing with Anaya and KC. There

<v Speaker 1>was technically no emotional safety. Their relationship was just like linear.

<v Speaker 1>It was just like a line. There were like really

<v Speaker 1>no peaks and valleys, Like really, if I'm going to

<v Speaker 1>be honest now, chosen is amazing, Yes it is, but

<v Speaker 1>feeling emotionally safe is actually even better. Number three, conflict

<v Speaker 1>does not destroy relationships. Poor conflict resolution does. The healthiest

<v Speaker 1>couples aren't the ones who never argue. They are the

<v Speaker 1>ones who know how to repair after an argument. And lastly,

<v Speaker 1>pay attention to how someone makes you feel after conflict.

<v Speaker 1>Do you feel heard, do you feel respected? Do you

<v Speaker 1>feel emotionally safe all right? Or do you leave every

<v Speaker 1>conversation feeling more confused than before and feeling like, oh

<v Speaker 1>my gosh, I don't know if they're going to walk

<v Speaker 1>out on me, if they're going to break up with me,

<v Speaker 1>all the different things, because confusion is not chemistry. So

<v Speaker 1>here's my hot take. Sometimes we're so busy asking is

<v Speaker 1>this my person, that we forget to ask am I

<v Speaker 1>becoming the kind of person who can sustain a healthy relationship?

<v Speaker 1>Because relationships do not just reveal compatibility, They reveal maturity, healing,

<v Speaker 1>emotional intelligence, communication, accountability. So angels, whether KC and Anaya

<v Speaker 1>make it or not is not the point, because they're

<v Speaker 1>not he's with t T. The point is every relationship

<v Speaker 1>you observe can teach you something. Maybe it teaches you

<v Speaker 1>what you want, Maybe it teaches you what you will

<v Speaker 1>never tolerate again. Maybe it reminds you of a version

<v Speaker 1>of yourself that you already healed from. Whatever it is.

<v Speaker 1>We shouldn't just consume reality TV. Sometimes we should study it.

<v Speaker 1>And people reveal themselves under pressure only and always, and

<v Speaker 1>that's where the real lessons are. So if you guys

<v Speaker 1>have enjoyed today's episode, send it to your group chat,

<v Speaker 1>because I know that everybody has an opinion on Love

<v Speaker 1>Island right now and I'd love for you guys to

<v Speaker 1>be a part of the conversation with me. So I

<v Speaker 1>want to know what your opinion is. Are you team KC,

<v Speaker 1>are you team Anaya? Are you team Melanie, team Sincere?

<v Speaker 1>Or do you think we're all missing the big picture?

<v Speaker 1>As always, remember your worth, protect your peace. With that

<v Speaker 1>being said, do not forget that I love you and

<v Speaker 1>God loves you. I'll speak to you, beautiful angels in

<v Speaker 1>my next episode.