1 00:00:00,455 --> 00:00:00,756 All right. 2 00:00:00,756 --> 00:00:05,135 One missing paragraph in your parenting plan is going to create 3 00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:11,676 conflict not just once or twice, but repeatedly, and most parents don't 4 00:00:11,686 --> 00:00:13,915 realize it until it's too late. 5 00:00:14,715 --> 00:00:20,565 So inside of your parenting plan, it should never, never say the words, 6 00:00:20,866 --> 00:00:25,035 "Both parents understand the schedule. Both parents agree to follow the 7 00:00:25,036 --> 00:00:30,945 schedule," when this one particular portion is not also mentioned. 8 00:00:31,425 --> 00:00:36,855 Your parenting plan needs to be clear with an order of priority. 9 00:00:37,665 --> 00:00:38,606 It's that simple. 10 00:00:38,956 --> 00:00:46,486 Order of priority so that everybody takes ownership of when they're allowed to take 11 00:00:46,515 --> 00:00:52,845 over and when they're not allowed to take over based on their order of priority. 12 00:00:53,395 --> 00:00:57,496 Because in high-conflict situations, if something is unclear, then 13 00:00:57,505 --> 00:01:04,456 dominant high-conflict parent will clean house And take from everyone 14 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,846 and exploit the whole situation. 15 00:01:06,616 --> 00:01:07,686 So let's start with the problem. 16 00:01:08,076 --> 00:01:11,996 In most parenting plans, there's a list of holidays, usually very vague. 17 00:01:12,366 --> 00:01:15,685 There's a list of who gets to take a vacation when or where probably. 18 00:01:16,036 --> 00:01:19,666 Uh, summer breaks like spring break or fall break or winter break are listed, 19 00:01:19,985 --> 00:01:22,045 and then visitation is talked about. 20 00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:27,746 But nowhere in most parenting plans does it say the hierarchy 21 00:01:28,366 --> 00:01:33,876 of what comes before something else, the order of priority, right? 22 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:38,275 And so high-conflict people everywhere think that they're the biggest priority, 23 00:01:38,615 --> 00:01:42,516 and they're the most important person in the room, and that's just not true. 24 00:01:42,525 --> 00:01:45,175 There is an order of priority, and we're gonna really bust 25 00:01:45,185 --> 00:01:46,805 out what that means today. 26 00:01:47,216 --> 00:01:51,375 And so this is a conversation you're going to listen to, take notes on, 27 00:01:51,396 --> 00:01:55,225 and take it back to mediation, take it to your attorney and say, "Hey, I 28 00:01:55,235 --> 00:01:59,446 have to make sure I have a list of the order of priority in my parenting plan 29 00:01:59,835 --> 00:02:04,855 so that I know when I can override something else and when especially 30 00:02:04,856 --> 00:02:08,195 the high-conflict parent doesn't get to override something else." 31 00:02:08,196 --> 00:02:09,155 Now let's break this down. 32 00:02:10,126 --> 00:02:16,345 But here is what a priority list should look like inside of your parenting plan. 33 00:02:16,355 --> 00:02:18,105 First and foremost, holidays. 34 00:02:18,516 --> 00:02:22,295 Holidays are the most important thing that you have as a parent with your 35 00:02:22,295 --> 00:02:24,716 children when it comes to your time, okay? 36 00:02:24,716 --> 00:02:28,875 In the list, holidays are number one, meaning no one can take a 37 00:02:28,876 --> 00:02:31,605 holiday, and we're gonna break these down even further, so stay with me. 38 00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,815 Number two is all the school breaks. 39 00:02:33,835 --> 00:02:37,856 I mentioned spring break, fall break, winter break, summer break. 40 00:02:38,596 --> 00:02:40,295 The next one is vacations. 41 00:02:40,315 --> 00:02:41,936 This is number three on your list. 42 00:02:42,645 --> 00:02:44,235 Vacations is number three. 43 00:02:44,705 --> 00:02:48,995 So when you go on vacation, do you get to take away something else or 44 00:02:48,995 --> 00:02:50,306 is something else more important? 45 00:02:50,306 --> 00:02:52,175 This is the list we're talking about. 46 00:02:53,016 --> 00:02:55,315 And then the regular visitation schedule is last. 47 00:02:55,725 --> 00:03:00,815 So which means everything above the visitation schedule can be taken from you. 48 00:03:01,545 --> 00:03:02,635 Sorry, scratch that. 49 00:03:03,545 --> 00:03:06,925 That means everything on the visita- 50 00:03:10,584 --> 00:03:10,964 Sorry 51 00:03:14,252 --> 00:03:14,472 Let's go back. 52 00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:16,222 Okay? 53 00:03:16,942 --> 00:03:21,272 So here is a list of what the priority schedule should look like. 54 00:03:21,761 --> 00:03:22,982 First and foremost, holidays. 55 00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:24,642 No one can take your holidays away. 56 00:03:24,642 --> 00:03:27,472 When it says in your parenting plan that you have a holiday, you have it. 57 00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:33,101 Nothing can be overlapping, taking, uh, stealing your holiday. 58 00:03:33,102 --> 00:03:35,411 You can't plan a vacation over someone else's holiday. 59 00:03:35,612 --> 00:03:38,352 Your visitation schedule doesn't overlap a holiday. 60 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,271 Summer break d- nothing overlaps a holiday. 61 00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:44,332 Number two is your school breaks, your sp- your spring break, fall 62 00:03:44,332 --> 00:03:48,751 break, summer break, winter break, which means if it's your scheduled 63 00:03:48,752 --> 00:03:52,491 spring break, I can't plan a vacation because vacation is number three. 64 00:03:52,782 --> 00:03:55,961 So in the order of priority, holidays come first. 65 00:03:55,962 --> 00:03:57,161 No one can take your holidays. 66 00:03:57,431 --> 00:04:00,991 Then no one can take your specific time during one of your breaks, 67 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,182 like fall break or spring break. 68 00:04:02,612 --> 00:04:04,661 Thirdly is your vacations. 69 00:04:05,341 --> 00:04:09,671 I can't take away your vacation just because it's my visitation time. 70 00:04:09,681 --> 00:04:12,712 I can't say, "Oh, you can't go on vacation because it's my Tuesday." 71 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,711 Nope, vacations supersede visitation. 72 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,022 And then number four is your vata- vacations, or your 73 00:04:18,022 --> 00:04:19,251 visitation schedule, sorry. 74 00:04:20,011 --> 00:04:23,241 Visitation schedule is the least priority. 75 00:04:24,151 --> 00:04:25,411 Holidays are number one. 76 00:04:25,412 --> 00:04:26,341 Now, let's break this down. 77 00:04:26,952 --> 00:04:28,191 Why does this matter? 78 00:04:29,361 --> 00:04:31,601 Holidays override everything. 79 00:04:32,611 --> 00:04:40,131 One parent will end up trying to schedule their vacation over your holiday. 80 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:44,011 I've had parents over the years try to schedule a vacation over 81 00:04:44,011 --> 00:04:47,411 Christmas and say, "Oh, well, we're going on vacation, so I'm taking 82 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:48,722 away your Christmas morning." 83 00:04:49,141 --> 00:04:52,992 "Oh, we decided to go on vacation over your 4th of July, so we're taking your 84 00:04:52,992 --> 00:05:00,061 4th of July." High-conflict people will always try to take if there's not a rule. 85 00:05:00,302 --> 00:05:05,141 So holidays should not disappear just because someone wants to book a vacation. 86 00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,692 Again, vacation is third on the list. 87 00:05:08,631 --> 00:05:09,211 All right? 88 00:05:09,692 --> 00:05:12,481 Breaks should override your visitation. 89 00:05:12,482 --> 00:05:16,701 So even though you may have a 2-5 schedule and Monday, Tuesday is always yours, when 90 00:05:16,701 --> 00:05:21,081 spring break comes around, that parent gets to have that whole break because it 91 00:05:21,081 --> 00:05:25,331 says the spring break is their holiday or their time with their children. 92 00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:30,241 And so that supersedes over your vacation that you were trying to 93 00:05:30,241 --> 00:05:31,822 plan because it's not your break. 94 00:05:32,122 --> 00:05:35,231 It supersedes over your visitation that you have on Monday, Tuesday 95 00:05:35,232 --> 00:05:36,941 because it's not your break. 96 00:05:37,601 --> 00:05:38,061 All right? 97 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,401 So you have to make sure breaks are listed inside of your parenting plan 98 00:05:41,401 --> 00:05:42,922 but also this order of operation. 99 00:05:43,161 --> 00:05:47,711 So if school breaks are not clearly prioritized, every 100 00:05:47,711 --> 00:05:49,322 break becomes negotiable. 101 00:05:49,922 --> 00:05:51,301 "Well, I want to plan a vacation." 102 00:05:51,812 --> 00:05:53,552 Well, it doesn't say I can't plan a vacation. 103 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:56,301 But if you have the order of priority, that's gonna help you. 104 00:05:56,761 --> 00:06:00,401 Vacations should not r- override anything, right? 105 00:06:00,422 --> 00:06:04,041 So a vacation should never take away someone else's holiday or someone 106 00:06:04,101 --> 00:06:09,031 else's break because high-conflict people love the loopholes. 107 00:06:09,631 --> 00:06:13,410 It's amazing to me how s- how dumb they can be most of the time and- How smart 108 00:06:13,750 --> 00:06:16,450 they can be at trying to take away. 109 00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:20,000 They initially book vacations over your time, right? 110 00:06:20,050 --> 00:06:23,870 Over your holiday or over your spring break or winter break 111 00:06:23,870 --> 00:06:27,189 because parenting plan doesn't have a list of order of operations. 112 00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:30,670 They claim they already paid for it, so then you feel bad and feel 113 00:06:30,699 --> 00:06:32,079 obligated to give it up to them. 114 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,570 But that's why this section is so important to have. 115 00:06:35,570 --> 00:06:41,340 A vacation request does not erase a court order of priority time. 116 00:06:42,290 --> 00:06:46,749 And I'm telling you, it has to be black and white, that it says crystal clear that 117 00:06:46,949 --> 00:06:51,209 holidays and breaks supersede a vacation. 118 00:06:52,359 --> 00:06:52,979 But here's the deal. 119 00:06:53,010 --> 00:06:58,509 After all of this priority listing, which should be in your parenting plan, we put 120 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:02,180 it in ours for sure, is this one sentence. 121 00:07:03,330 --> 00:07:06,879 And without this sentence, even with a list of priorities, 122 00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,599 you're still gonna have arguments from a high-conflict parent. 123 00:07:10,119 --> 00:07:19,810 And the one sentence is, "Time lost will not be regained." Now, let that sink in. 124 00:07:21,486 --> 00:07:26,216 This matters to have in your parenting plan. 125 00:07:26,436 --> 00:07:29,916 Now, I gave you the list of order of operations here, the priority levels, 126 00:07:30,256 --> 00:07:33,836 you know, holidays, and then breaks, and then vacation, and then visitation time. 127 00:07:33,836 --> 00:07:35,235 You can't take anything above you. 128 00:07:36,066 --> 00:07:36,916 But here's the deal. 129 00:07:37,295 --> 00:07:41,475 High-conflict people will say, "Well, you took the kids on vacation. I deserve 130 00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:46,615 my two days back." You deserve it, but my parenting plan also says you lost 131 00:07:46,615 --> 00:07:49,026 it, and it's not gonna be regained. 132 00:07:49,455 --> 00:07:56,586 Just like if I lose time during your vacation, I will not get 133 00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:59,885 that time back, and that's okay. 134 00:08:00,695 --> 00:08:01,085 Right? 135 00:08:01,145 --> 00:08:02,045 It's okay. 136 00:08:02,966 --> 00:08:08,545 One parent is going to lose time because po- possibly of a holiday, because of 137 00:08:08,545 --> 00:08:10,895 spring break, because of a vacation. 138 00:08:11,916 --> 00:08:14,626 All of that is gonna happen, and it's like a wash. 139 00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:16,545 One year it may be heavy, one parent loses. 140 00:08:16,545 --> 00:08:18,325 The next year, another parent may be losing. 141 00:08:18,806 --> 00:08:22,286 But high-conflict people think that because you took a vacation or because 142 00:08:22,286 --> 00:08:25,515 it was your spring break or because it was your 4th of July and it fell 143 00:08:25,515 --> 00:08:29,596 on their day that they deserve that day back, and that is just not true. 144 00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:32,866 That's common sense, but this is what we don't fall on in parenting plans. 145 00:08:32,886 --> 00:08:36,155 We fall on what is written in the plan, black and white, 146 00:08:36,155 --> 00:08:38,556 what can be read on page 17. 147 00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:45,046 And it should say, "Time will be lost, not regained, due to a holiday, a break, 148 00:08:45,105 --> 00:08:48,135 or a vacation." You have lost that time. 149 00:08:49,505 --> 00:08:53,995 It's so critical that you understand that needs to be in there because if you just 150 00:08:53,995 --> 00:08:57,625 assume that your co-parent knows that or that they'll understand that or they'll 151 00:08:57,625 --> 00:09:00,739 believe that, that's not gonna happen. 152 00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:03,345 It is not going to happen. 153 00:09:03,625 --> 00:09:07,725 They are going to fight, argue, bitch, and moan every time you take from them. 154 00:09:07,725 --> 00:09:11,585 And those of you listening, I'm using quotes here, "take from them," but 155 00:09:11,585 --> 00:09:13,905 it's what your parenting plan allows. 156 00:09:14,475 --> 00:09:18,895 It allows you to have time with your children outside of the 157 00:09:18,895 --> 00:09:22,185 normal visitation schedule, which is the last thing on the list. 158 00:09:22,575 --> 00:09:25,985 So why do high-conflict people love these loopholes? 159 00:09:27,214 --> 00:09:29,024 It's what they lean on in life. 160 00:09:29,034 --> 00:09:29,984 It's not just with you. 161 00:09:30,014 --> 00:09:30,674 Think about it. 162 00:09:31,314 --> 00:09:36,457 High-conflict people are taking advantage of everyone, right? 163 00:09:36,457 --> 00:09:36,813 They like the confusion. 164 00:09:36,813 --> 00:09:42,304 They like the gray area because then they get to pounce and control, right? 165 00:09:42,313 --> 00:09:44,714 They get to do those weird, disgusting things where most people would be like, 166 00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:46,084 "I would never say something like that. 167 00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:48,144 I would never do something like that." They sleep well 168 00:09:48,144 --> 00:09:49,183 at night and do it every day. 169 00:09:49,864 --> 00:09:54,614 A vague parenting plan gives them leverage, gives them the ability to argue, 170 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,023 gives them the opportunity for conflict. 171 00:09:57,034 --> 00:10:00,153 And who pays the biggest price during conflict? 172 00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:01,694 Our children. 173 00:10:02,883 --> 00:10:05,703 And so notice we're talking about big moments in these children's 174 00:10:05,703 --> 00:10:10,673 lives, holidays, vacations, spring breaks, winter breaks, fall breaks. 175 00:10:10,673 --> 00:10:16,813 We're talking about big moments in the child's life, celebratory, emotional, 176 00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:22,434 memorable moments, and now there's gray area around it, leaving nothing 177 00:10:22,434 --> 00:10:25,753 but my ex and I to argue, fight, and possibly contact attorneys again. 178 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:31,313 Money loss, high anxiety for one parent or if not both, and that 179 00:10:31,383 --> 00:10:35,624 domino effect goes right down to the children, and that's what we don't want. 180 00:10:35,974 --> 00:10:39,973 So if a parenting plan leaves room for interpretation, high-conflict 181 00:10:39,983 --> 00:10:45,074 people are going to run all over that and make sure it benefits them. 182 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,193 So let's dive into the real question. 183 00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:49,483 Why is this not included? 184 00:10:49,894 --> 00:10:51,273 Why is this not standard? 185 00:10:51,993 --> 00:10:56,204 Why is not every single parenting plan on this earth having that 186 00:10:56,243 --> 00:11:01,096 order of priority Many attorneys like to just use generic templates. 187 00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:06,696 And if the template that they got back in 1984 doesn't include it, well, 188 00:11:06,706 --> 00:11:08,175 there's no sense in updating that now. 189 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,146 Been using it since '84. 190 00:11:10,416 --> 00:11:10,966 She's good. 191 00:11:10,966 --> 00:11:11,756 She's solid. 192 00:11:11,766 --> 00:11:13,256 It's been accepted before. 193 00:11:13,556 --> 00:11:15,036 Why would I wanna update it? 194 00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:18,615 They assume, and this is the biggest one that I just think is a kick in the 195 00:11:18,615 --> 00:11:21,136 nuts sometimes, is that parents, we're just gonna figure it out, and they'll 196 00:11:21,186 --> 00:11:22,415 all work it out, and they'll all agree. 197 00:11:22,416 --> 00:11:23,036 They'll all settle. 198 00:11:23,045 --> 00:11:24,716 They'll all have a conversation. 199 00:11:24,716 --> 00:11:27,945 They'll, you know, the, when the ink dries, they'll start getting along again. 200 00:11:28,365 --> 00:11:30,365 Now, that may be true for some, but not all. 201 00:11:30,795 --> 00:11:33,436 And if you're listening to me and following me, it's not true for you. 202 00:11:34,565 --> 00:11:37,245 They focus on getting agreements signed quickly, and they're 203 00:11:37,246 --> 00:11:41,056 like, "Eh, nobody would ever take advantage of somebody like that." 204 00:11:41,725 --> 00:11:42,985 Uh, excuse me? 205 00:11:43,446 --> 00:11:44,546 Have you met our exes? 206 00:11:45,415 --> 00:11:47,625 I'm pretty sure they were in the room with you for a few hours. 207 00:11:47,645 --> 00:11:50,316 Did you not pick up on what they were putting down, that they're hostile 208 00:11:50,906 --> 00:11:54,856 and, you know, argumentative and try to control every situation and lie? 209 00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:55,955 Hello? 210 00:11:56,295 --> 00:11:57,595 This is who they are. 211 00:11:57,665 --> 00:11:58,646 Believe them, please. 212 00:11:58,685 --> 00:11:59,126 I do. 213 00:12:00,025 --> 00:12:01,295 I want this sentence in here. 214 00:12:01,295 --> 00:12:02,675 I want this paragraph in here. 215 00:12:03,415 --> 00:12:07,025 Attorneys aren't thinking about how conflict is going 216 00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:08,605 to play out even years later. 217 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,615 But here's the deal. 218 00:12:10,676 --> 00:12:11,565 Maybe they are. 219 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:17,695 Some attorneys are using this to portray us as the problem, that, "Oh, I can't 220 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,415 believe you guys can't co-parent. 221 00:12:19,415 --> 00:12:21,365 I can't believe you guys can't cooperate. 222 00:12:21,865 --> 00:12:23,895 Can't believe it." Really? 223 00:12:23,896 --> 00:12:24,595 Are you that slow? 224 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:27,615 Have you not figured out by the years we've been trying to get divorced 225 00:12:27,615 --> 00:12:29,485 and the hundreds of thousands of dollars we've already spent that we 226 00:12:29,485 --> 00:12:32,726 just probably aren't gonna be that couple that gets along post-divorce? 227 00:12:33,415 --> 00:12:36,645 Maybe you are just trying to trip my trigger and take my money, 'cause at 228 00:12:36,646 --> 00:12:40,475 this point, how much we've shown you, you're either horrible at recognizing 229 00:12:40,475 --> 00:12:42,045 patterns, or you're just extra slow. 230 00:12:43,185 --> 00:12:47,005 But we need this paragraph in there describing that you can't take from 231 00:12:47,005 --> 00:12:48,335 me, and that there's a hierarchy. 232 00:12:48,595 --> 00:12:51,305 Parenting plans that work for healthy co-parents often 233 00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:55,306 are a complete disaster for a high-conflict co-parenting situation. 234 00:12:55,655 --> 00:12:57,565 And attorneys need to get on board with this. 235 00:12:58,045 --> 00:12:59,176 We are not built the same. 236 00:12:59,585 --> 00:13:03,405 We are not doing things the same as people that are amicable and wearing 237 00:13:03,405 --> 00:13:07,606 matching shirt at soccer games and are still neighbors and still help each other, 238 00:13:07,606 --> 00:13:08,685 and hell, they have dinner together. 239 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:09,975 I love that for them. 240 00:13:10,465 --> 00:13:10,945 I love that. 241 00:13:10,946 --> 00:13:11,625 I'm jealous. 242 00:13:12,974 --> 00:13:13,824 But that's not us. 243 00:13:14,624 --> 00:13:16,694 That's not our situation, right? 244 00:13:17,384 --> 00:13:21,174 The reality is that no one wants to say is high-conflict people often 245 00:13:21,444 --> 00:13:27,244 take your time casually, but they also make it to where you have to 246 00:13:27,244 --> 00:13:28,984 feel like you have to be flexible. 247 00:13:29,513 --> 00:13:31,094 Like, it starts off so casual. 248 00:13:31,683 --> 00:13:33,223 "Hey, I'm gonna extend my vacation. 249 00:13:33,843 --> 00:13:36,433 Hey, I noticed that, you know, you don't normally do anything for the 250 00:13:36,433 --> 00:13:39,253 holidays, so I'm gonna-- I'm just gonna go ahead and take the kids over here." 251 00:13:39,804 --> 00:13:44,643 They start so casually with you, and then they start threatening you, and 252 00:13:44,644 --> 00:13:46,194 they expect you to still be flexible. 253 00:13:47,154 --> 00:13:50,343 And if you don't have anything as a backbone to protect you with 254 00:13:50,354 --> 00:13:52,524 that, it's gonna happen for years. 255 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,234 And who's watching all of that? 256 00:13:54,753 --> 00:13:55,474 Your children. 257 00:13:56,353 --> 00:14:00,023 Because many of them just love to control, and that's way 258 00:14:00,023 --> 00:14:01,673 more important than fairness. 259 00:14:03,003 --> 00:14:06,683 They want understanding that when they want something and need something, 260 00:14:07,303 --> 00:14:08,944 you better be giving it to them. 261 00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:13,243 And so paperwork is so important for you to have. 262 00:14:13,704 --> 00:14:14,543 It really is. 263 00:14:15,093 --> 00:14:16,444 So here's some things. 264 00:14:16,444 --> 00:14:20,433 I want you to review the parenting plan that you're getting from your 265 00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:27,414 attorney or mediator, and I want you to look and see, can my ex take from me? 266 00:14:28,363 --> 00:14:32,583 Does it mention anything about getting that time back, or is it lost? 267 00:14:32,603 --> 00:14:35,843 And I want it to be lost because I don't want to get into this, well, 268 00:14:35,843 --> 00:14:37,203 when do I have to give them time? 269 00:14:37,213 --> 00:14:39,574 The day before vacation, but what if they don't bring the kids back 270 00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:40,713 and then my vacation's ruined? 271 00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,174 Or what about on the holiday? 272 00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:44,394 Like, do I have to give them the day before the holiday even though 273 00:14:44,394 --> 00:14:46,194 that's my day too and it's my holiday? 274 00:14:46,404 --> 00:14:47,964 It gets very, very confusing. 275 00:14:48,493 --> 00:14:51,123 And so it's just easier in a high-conflict situation to say 276 00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,683 time is lost, not regained. 277 00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:58,784 You need to have clarifying language that a third-grader can understand 278 00:14:59,694 --> 00:15:03,763 of what is more important, what is a hierarchy of the order of priority. 279 00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:05,773 Word for word, it has to be listed. 280 00:15:05,773 --> 00:15:09,873 The best parenting plans are not based on trust, and they're 281 00:15:09,873 --> 00:15:11,573 not based on cooperation. 282 00:15:11,993 --> 00:15:19,113 They're based on clarity because clarity removes the loopholes, and 283 00:15:19,123 --> 00:15:26,153 loopholes are where high-conflict people wanna live all the time and thrive.