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Speaker 1
Most relationship advice assumes that you are neurotypical. But what happens if you or your partner has got ADHD, autism, or some other kind of neurodivergent? That same advice can actually destroy your relationship. Today we're going to talk about it. Welcome to Late Bloomers, where we are getting our.

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Speaker 2
Lives together.

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Speaker 1
Eventually bought by our amazing sponsor, Loop Earbuds.

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Speaker 2
I don't like that.

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Speaker 1
Oh, sorry.

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Speaker 2
Why not? I don't. That's horrible.

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Speaker 1
Big. Sorry to to everyone there. Okay, so listen, this is big.

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Speaker 2
Yeah. Huge. How many have we got? We've got.

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Speaker 1
Five lies. Things that we've just believed from birth in a neurotypical society about what makes a happy, healthy, functioning relationship and why it's just a load of rubbish when it comes to us wonky brains.

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Speaker 2
Probably not Beth, though. Is it? Because you wouldn't know any of it at birth? So like when you're a bit older, maybe thinking about relationships, maybe 1314.

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Speaker 1
This is why these rules are needed. So are you ready for lie big old neurotypical lie number one?

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Speaker 2
Yes.

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Speaker 1
It's kind of a two parter.

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Speaker 2
Okay.

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Speaker 1
If they wanted to, they would. And if they cared, they'd remember.

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Speaker 2
Oh, well, I mean, I'm hoping this is a lie, because if how you cared for me was based on your memory, you do not hold me at high regard. So we're talking birthdays, anniversaries.

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Speaker 1
Maybe that like, if they wanted to, they would. It's like if a guy hasn't bought you the flowers or whatever if they wanted to. They would. It just assumes we're all the same and it assumes negative impact if someone isn't doing something.

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Speaker 2
I mean, that phrase is ridiculous because if they wanted to, they would. Is true. Like the reason that they aren't is that they don't want to.

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Speaker 1
Know. Because I would want to never forget an anniversary or a birthday.

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Speaker 2
Oh, okay. I yeah, I stand corrected. I was thinking of flowers, though. I don't buy you flowers.

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Speaker 1
I wouldn't. What a perfect example, by the way. It's seen as like buying flowers as soon as, like, romantic. If someone buys me flowers, I'm like, oh, no, it's a task because you have to cut the ends, find a jug to put it in, fill up the water and then it's going to die. It's like a task.

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Speaker 2
And they're a nightmare because they go dry and then we leave them too long, and then they disintegrate all over the counter, and then they take up loads of valuable bin space.

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Speaker 1
So there was sticky. So look, this line number one, if they wanted to, they would. If they cared, they'd remembered. It's like, yeah, anniversaries might be texting all day, every day. Might be popping to the shop to get toilet roll and coming back without it.

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Speaker 2
Yeah. And I think this is so we struggled with this at the start of our relationship. And I'm sure most people that are seen that are in a relationship with an ADHD person will struggle with this until they reframe it in their mind that it doesn't mean that they don't care when they when not even if when they forget some stuff.

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Speaker 1
So neurotypical society basically says that somebody memory is a measure of how much they love you.

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
And that assumes that everyone's got the same access to memory. And if someone forgets they've they've done it on purpose. Yeah. And actually, we don't all have the same access to memory.

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Speaker 2
No, we do not. Unfortunately, we do not. Your life would be a lot easier. Not just in this lane. If you did have a memory that was.

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Speaker 1
Functional at all. Yeah. Like, I am going to, like, be a bit of a hater right now.

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Speaker 2
Towards who?

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Speaker 1
My own memory.

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Speaker 2
Oh, right.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. Like I hate it. Yeah. I hate how forgetful. I lose my phone ten times a day in my own house.

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Speaker 2
Your your phone has got worse. So, like, on filming days, I think you'll say. Where's my phone? 15 times. Yeah. Like immediate. Like you had it five seconds ago and you're like, oh, where's my phone? And you? It could be genuine. We could spend ten minutes looking for it.

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Speaker 1
No, it's always genuine. This is the thing I wish people understood about ADHD. It never gets better. You never learn from the mistake. Oh, you've lost your phone 15 times, maybe. No, it's always there. It's constant and it makes you feel rubbish. And if I wanted to, I would would know. Because this memory box is broken. And I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2
I think we should find a way of of attaching it to you.

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Speaker 1
Yeah, like a wrist strap or something.

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
Or like an arm pocket.

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Speaker 2
Or waist or belt or.

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Speaker 1
There's something. I'm down. I'm down because I can't keep going like this.

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Speaker 2
Well.

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Speaker 1
I've triggered myself anyway. So that's the first line, right?

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Speaker 2
Line number two.

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Speaker 1
No.

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Speaker 2
Oh, why?

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Speaker 1
We need the neurodivergent reframe. The neurodivergent rule.

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Speaker 2
Oh, God.

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Speaker 1
To have in its place. Are you ready?

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
Love isn't measured by memory. It's measured by repair and effort.

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Speaker 2
That's a bit long in it.

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Speaker 1
It's not as good as if they wanted to. They would. But, like, basically, don't judge. Memory is the person trying. Is this poor little bugger trying their best?

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Speaker 2
Can somebody think of a better way to frame that though?

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Speaker 1
Then he's the poor bugger trying their.

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Speaker 2
Best because no one's remembering that. Well.

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Speaker 1
We've all got that. Literally no one's remembering anything. But like, the whole point is like, remember that time when I got the wrong train home and I ended up turning up late to our anniversary dinner?

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
I was genuinely I didn't turn up and go like, yeah, like ADHD, time blindness. Like, what are you going to do? I was like in tears. I was so sorry. How can I make it up to you? How do I stop this from happening? Like you could see that I was devastated by turning up late to that dinner.

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Speaker 2
Yes.

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Speaker 1
So that's all I'm saying. Like, is the poor little bugger trying?

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Speaker 2
No, I know what you're saying. You've just chosen to basically effectively say memory doesn't matter. You've chosen the most difficult phrase to remember. So that's all I'm saying. No, don't stop whispering. It's horrible. People know. Yeah, right. Can I go lie number two now? Yeah. Have you got the reframing of all of these?

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Speaker 1
Now you've got written on a button on your card.

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Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. Perfect. That one's long as well, right? Line number two. Never go to bed angry.

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Speaker 1
Right. Well, I've believed that my whole life is a sweet little rule of love. Never go to bed on an argument.

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Speaker 2
The thing is, if we have an argument which is very rare.

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Speaker 1
A bit bit more frequent these days.

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Speaker 2
Yeah. If you're telling me to force through the argument to a conclusion before I go to bed, it's going badly. But sometimes that's exactly where I need to be is in bed.

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Speaker 1
I have tried to do this with you. Like I want this resolve now. Talk to me. And it just doesn't. If you are still really annoyed and working out the logics in your head, like you'll be like, I'm still really upset with you. So no, I don't want to talk to you. Like, yeah, I feel I kind of understand the premise, right?

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Speaker 1
And I think I used to think of it like maybe this is really dark. So something about me. If someone died in their sleep, you wouldn't have wanted to go to bed on an argument.

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Speaker 2
That's really dark.

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Speaker 1
Is it?

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Speaker 2
Yeah, I get the logic, but yeah. So don't go to bed. An argument just in case you die.

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Speaker 1
I think about you and me dying. A lot of us, because my mum died when I was younger. So I think that it does mess up your brain. So that's maybe not what they meant. Maybe they just mean. What do they mean? Don't go to bed on an argument.

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Speaker 2
Maybe I understand if I'm not going away for a week or whatever. You don't want to have a blazing row and then I leave like that. Would that.

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Speaker 1
That wouldn't be allowed. You wouldn't be allowed to get in the car on an argument because my death spiral. But that's something else entirely. This thing like don't go to bed an argument. It just assumes that both people have got access to fix it in that moment. Yeah. And actually, both of us, if you come from ADHD autistic lens, I'll say it.

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Speaker 1
I'm not afraid to say it. I can be like an emotional rollercoaster.

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Speaker 2
Yes you can.

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Speaker 1
And you can be a sort of shut down emotional recluse. Yeah. So you've got to shut down emotional recluse in a sort of autistic shutdown, and you've got emotional rollercoaster like ADHD, emotional flooding. I don't think it's sensible to, like, put those to drag you onto the roller coaster.

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Speaker 2
Oh it's not it's not even not sensible. It just won't work.

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Speaker 1
It won't work.

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Speaker 2
And it needs to be regulated.

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Speaker 1
That's what we're looking for. Yeah. So don't force an argument if one of you is spiraling. Let's try and start the spiral. If one of you is in shutdown and need some time alone, go and have some time alone. And what I've noticed with you, sometimes a night of sleep resets your allows you to access logic, whereas you were maybe angry the night before.

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Speaker 1
Well, same for me as well.

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Speaker 2
I think it will be the same for all humans now. Typical or not, because what you you often realize the next day when you wake up is that it doesn't actually matter. Whatever you arguing about it, so relevant and pointless.

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Speaker 1
It can feel like the most important thing in the moment. You wake up and go as bit silly, wasn't it? So, yeah. What's the new neurodivergent, catchy, short, well written rule?

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Speaker 2
Well, it's a bit longer than never. Go to bed angry. Let me just. Disclaimer I didn't write it. Never try and solve a problem with a dysregulated brain.

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Speaker 1
That's bloody gorgeous. What's your problem.

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Speaker 2
With that? I think it could be more succinct then.

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Speaker 2
What?

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Speaker 1
Go on then.

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Speaker 2
Only argue regulated.

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Speaker 1
Yes. All right. It hasn't got the the spice level of me right onto line number three. Are you ready?

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
Who is tasty? Communication is everything.

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Speaker 2
I mean, communication is important.

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Speaker 1
Yeah.

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Speaker 2
Can you elaborate? Because I'm sort of agreeing with it at the moment.

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Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. So when in that sort of neurotypical framing communicate, communicate, what that means is talk, talk. So like talk say everything. That talking is good communication. It is not. You have to be understood. We can sit and talk each other and not actually understand what the other one's going through. Their motivations, intentions, what they meant. Especially if you're coming at it from different sides of a spectrum.

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Speaker 1
It isn't just talking. There needs to be an understanding of like the differences within that. So as a really simple example, let's say we were having a little argument, but you were trying to give me advice and I needed a cuddle.

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
Well we were talking, we were communicating, but we weren't being understood.

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Speaker 2
Yeah.

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Speaker 1
Okay. So it's making sure that you're really understanding. So if you think about you autistic brain, literal thinking. Logical thinking. Think about me. With ADHD, often emotions are heightened. There might be like RSD triggers in there as well. Yeah. Do you have to take that into account? So it's not just communication. It's listening understanding as well okay. Because you often feel very misunderstood by me in an argument.

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Speaker 1
Yeah. Even though you're communicating with.

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Speaker 2
Me, not even in an argument broadly like you, you'll you'll think, no, this isn't a bad thing, but you will think that I'm like upset or angry, stuff like that. And I'm not. I'm fine. I'm not. What?

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Speaker 1
You're just quiet. I'm learning more now. You're just a quiet little sausage.

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Speaker 2
But I love peace.

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Speaker 1
Likes a quiet little life. And just looking off what you're thinking. Nothing. Oh, lovely. Lovely. Okay. The very short, sweet, catchy neurodivergent rule is. God, it is long. Don't assume your partner heard what you meant. Check what they actually understood.

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Speaker 2
God.

00:14:07:18 - 00:14:09:02
Speaker 1
Can you help me? Like, then?

00:14:09:04 - 00:14:17:24
Speaker 2
Babe? This? No. Yeah, that. It was great. It was great. That little monologue. Say that old phrase.

00:14:18:00 - 00:14:23:08
Speaker 1
I've got it. Rather than communication is everything. True understanding is everything.

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Speaker 2
There we go. There you go. All right.

00:14:27:22 - 00:14:57:24
Speaker 1
And before we get on to number four, I'm just going to take a very quick break for our amazing sponsor. We are incredibly lucky on the Late Bloomers podcast because our sponsor is the amazing Loop Earplugs. If you are neurodivergent, there is a high chance that you might be sensitive to sound. That can mean that going out to a restaurant can be full of distractions, and going to a gig might actually be physically painful for your gorgeous little ears.

00:14:57:24 - 00:15:21:00
Speaker 1
And luckily for you, there is a pair of loop earplugs for all of those things. We have put our favorites on our website with loop earplugs, and you can find it in the show notes of this episode or in our social media bios. Every single one of our listeners gets 20% off and we really hope that you enjoy it.

00:15:21:01 - 00:15:38:20
Speaker 2
Line number four, they should just know what you need. Oh my God, this one makes me so wildly angry. It's crazy. So we're talking mind reading hints. Passive aggressive. Like what ever.

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Speaker 1
I feel like this is a big part of the world.

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Speaker 2
You should just know.

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Speaker 1
Like you should just know what I would want for Christmas. You should just know that I would want that window open. It's really so strange because what is being said is like, you should be a mind reader. You should be psychic. That's.

00:16:05:04 - 00:16:27:07
Speaker 2
It's so stupid. Right? So I understand logically why it's a thing. Because it's like if you're already connected and blah, blah blah. We're as close as we say we are. You should. We should be mind melded and you should just know how I think and feel. Whatever. Like, no, I'm a human, you're a human. Tell me what you want and I'll maybe do it.

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Speaker 1
I remember had a friend once. Or an acquaintance.

00:16:31:05 - 00:16:34:15
Speaker 2
Friend or acquaintance?

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Speaker 1
Friend then.

00:16:37:15 - 00:16:38:16
Speaker 2
Okay. Yeah.

00:16:38:17 - 00:16:44:08
Speaker 1
Frenemy. And this friend, you'll know exactly what I mean.

00:16:44:11 - 00:16:45:09
Speaker 2
I already know.

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Speaker 1
Used to go absolutely mental. If she didn't like the Christmas present, she was bought by, like, friends and family.

00:16:54:05 - 00:17:01:08
Speaker 2
But they would have been the ones to say, I shouldn't need to tell you what I like as well. Like they'd do both. They wouldn't tell.

00:17:01:13 - 00:17:17:10
Speaker 1
Oh, no. She'd be like, they should know me. The fact I remember once she was bought like this gorgeous set of like, skincare, but she just got a scent in it that I don't like. They should know that's not my vibe. And she, like, character destroyed someone. This bought presents and that happened.

00:17:17:12 - 00:17:20:01
Speaker 2
She was allergic to ginger or something.

00:17:20:02 - 00:17:38:11
Speaker 1
I don't even think there was an allergy. I think it was just been a bit of a knob. And I saw that over and over again and it was like, if it's that important, you need you need to tell somebody what's important to you. However, I've got a hold my hands up.

00:17:38:13 - 00:17:43:20
Speaker 2
To me. Is that what you're just about to fess up to? Yes. You've only ever done it once to me.

00:17:43:20 - 00:17:44:14
Speaker 1
The birthday?

00:17:44:14 - 00:17:47:00
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:17:47:01 - 00:17:56:05
Speaker 1
I've probably done it. Let's be real. I've probably done it more times. And you've just missed the hint. So than I've had to ask. Like in the early days.

00:17:56:05 - 00:17:59:22
Speaker 2
Wasn't it easier just asking, wasn't it? Do you know what I mean?

00:17:59:23 - 00:18:25:22
Speaker 1
No, no, just asking is easier. There's this sense I sometimes see it on the internet when it's like, I don't want to have to ask my partner to give me a massage, because then it takes away from them actually wanting to do it. So it's like, not only do you want the thing, the gift, the massage, the help of the house, you don't want to have to ask for it.

00:18:25:24 - 00:18:31:16
Speaker 1
It's like that's part of the gift. Part of it being enjoyed is that it wasn't requested.

00:18:31:18 - 00:18:36:00
Speaker 2
Yeah, I understand it, but it's still ridiculous.

00:18:36:03 - 00:18:46:24
Speaker 1
I think it damages it makes it very difficult for autistic people who are literal thinkers, who don't pick up on social clue crushing.

00:18:46:24 - 00:19:02:17
Speaker 2
Well, and it will make it difficult for the people with autistic partners because good luck knowing what I want. Like, you think I'm angry when I'm not. Yeah, so unless you actually speak, then it's not working.

00:19:02:18 - 00:19:17:14
Speaker 1
Yeah, you have to speak and you have to. I don't know, it's almost like there's some romance in, like, mind reading or guessing, but there's just not. If you're neurodivergent, just say it how it is. If you need it, say it.

00:19:17:15 - 00:19:37:13
Speaker 2
By the way, for the birthday. Just for those that are wondering, because she never really elaborated, she told me for five years solidly that she hated birthdays, never wanted to celebrate it all that sort of stuff. For then she went to therapy loads. Therapist said, maybe lean into your birthday. She was like, actually, yeah, this is why I don't celebrate my birthday.

00:19:37:14 - 00:19:44:15
Speaker 2
Let's celebrate. And then it was like, I want to do something for my birthday. And I'm like, oh, what do you want to do? And it was like, well.

00:19:44:17 - 00:19:51:01
Speaker 1
I want to leave it to you. Yeah. I wanted you to, like, throw me a party and do something special.

00:19:51:02 - 00:20:03:10
Speaker 2
Yeah. But I was like, what are we talking hotel? Me. And, you know, I want the family, right? But I was like, please, please tell me and I'll make it happen. By the way, this was like 72 hours before your actual birthday as well.

00:20:03:11 - 00:20:04:23
Speaker 1
It's like three days.

00:20:05:00 - 00:20:12:24
Speaker 2
That is 72 hours. Exactly. Yeah, exactly three days. That's all to the hour, Max.

00:20:13:01 - 00:20:17:00
Speaker 1
Do you want to cut that out? It's three days. Bloody.

00:20:17:02 - 00:20:24:14
Speaker 2
Okay, so we're agreeing that. That's nonsense. Yeah.

00:20:24:16 - 00:20:26:19
Speaker 2
What are you doing? This is a podcast.

00:20:26:20 - 00:20:30:16
Speaker 1
What's the new rule, darling? What's the neurodivergent catchy rule?

00:20:30:17 - 00:20:40:08
Speaker 2
Well, the the the one that's too long is say clearly and kindly anything you need.

00:20:40:10 - 00:20:42:21
Speaker 1
Stunning, gorgeous, clear, kind.

00:20:42:23 - 00:20:52:23
Speaker 2
But just a simple one. Could be like, just communicate your needs or just say what you want or just ask.

00:20:53:00 - 00:20:56:03
Speaker 2
Any, any one of those trees. More catchy?

00:20:56:07 - 00:21:00:15
Speaker 1
Not for the next episode. You can come and help me write the cards.

00:21:00:16 - 00:21:04:23
Speaker 2
No problem babe. Thanks for. Thanks for telling me what you need.

00:21:05:00 - 00:21:11:00
Speaker 1
Or I'll be going to bed angry. I'm going to the final one. Yep. You ready for line number five?

00:21:11:01 - 00:21:14:00
Speaker 2
Obviously I'm ready.

00:21:14:02 - 00:21:14:24
Speaker 1
Is this lovely?

00:21:15:00 - 00:21:16:05
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:21:16:07 - 00:21:23:04
Speaker 1
Compromise means meeting in the middle.

00:21:23:06 - 00:21:26:09
Speaker 2
That's not what compromise means, but. Yeah.

00:21:26:11 - 00:21:27:09
Speaker 1
What does compromise?

00:21:27:15 - 00:21:30:13
Speaker 2
Well, compromise means reaching an agreement.

00:21:30:13 - 00:21:35:01
Speaker 1
It doesn't in the middle of two. You're here, I'm here. Meet in the middle.

00:21:35:03 - 00:21:38:01
Speaker 2
One could be like, yeah.

00:21:38:03 - 00:21:41:04
Speaker 1
Okay, okay. Is that the autism? Like, no.

00:21:41:10 - 00:21:53:07
Speaker 2
Fine. Well, I suppose a good example of this is is less not divide tasks into like, let's not do half the laundry each.

00:21:53:09 - 00:21:54:14
Speaker 1
Yes.

00:21:54:16 - 00:21:57:01
Speaker 2
Is that. Yeah. Yes, yes.

00:21:57:01 - 00:22:14:04
Speaker 1
So basically it's really easy in a neurotypical partnership for both people to have a similar skill set when it comes to life, business, raising kids, cooking, cleaning like you sort of all. It's like you've got a bit of skill in everything.

00:22:14:06 - 00:22:15:02
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:22:15:04 - 00:22:20:22
Speaker 1
For neurodivergent people, there's wild differences. There is in energy levels.

00:22:21:02 - 00:22:34:23
Speaker 2
And skill. No, but you you I'm not saying you if you're saying like everyone's maybe 50% skill across the board, you can go from 1% skill laundry.

00:22:34:24 - 00:22:35:05
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00:22:35:06 - 00:22:41:12
Speaker 2
Memory to 100% skill with creativity and planning and finding hotels and restaurants and stuff.

00:22:41:12 - 00:22:42:22
Speaker 1
Like that. Spending money.

00:22:42:23 - 00:22:43:14
Speaker 2
Spending money.

00:22:43:15 - 00:22:47:13
Speaker 1
I'm really good at spending money. I'm really bad at laundry.

00:22:47:14 - 00:22:49:22
Speaker 2
Exceptional at spending money.

00:22:49:24 - 00:23:06:04
Speaker 1
It's not take it. But yes, creativity and maybe some other good things as well. But it's effectively moving out from everything else. To be 50 to 50, everything has to be shared. Because if you force that in a neurodivergent relationship, both of you are just going to lose.

00:23:06:10 - 00:23:15:22
Speaker 2
So I don't like compromises. Mean in the middle I I'd prefer like shared labor or shared tasks down the middle or something.

00:23:16:02 - 00:23:18:15
Speaker 1
Yeah, there tasks down.

00:23:18:16 - 00:23:20:05
Speaker 2
I think actually.

00:23:20:07 - 00:23:23:07
Speaker 1
Contributions should be 5050 in everything.

00:23:23:08 - 00:23:29:09
Speaker 2
Yeah. Because I think a good compromise is I'll do the laundry. You think of the video at this. That is a compromise.

00:23:29:10 - 00:23:31:13
Speaker 1
Oh, well, we have our own type of compromise.

00:23:31:14 - 00:23:32:05
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:23:32:06 - 00:23:51:06
Speaker 1
Which is often one person doing 100% of something. But that's the thing that they can do fairly easily. Yeah. It's almost like you build a life that suits your brains and like how you live, rather than how you think you're meant to do it.

00:23:51:07 - 00:23:55:05
Speaker 2
People on the internet don't grasp that when they watch our videos.

00:23:55:07 - 00:23:55:24
Speaker 1
Oh, no.

00:23:56:00 - 00:24:05:02
Speaker 2
Do they like when when I do the laundry, they're like, oh, it's not fair. I'm like, no, she does everything of other stuff. Like it's not.

00:24:05:03 - 00:24:30:13
Speaker 1
Well, it's I think it's just very easy to judge situations and people you don't know because sometimes you'll be doing the laundry and the comments are like, she's lazy, she's faking ADHD, weaponized incompetence. This is unfair. But then sometimes there'll be me struggling to clean up or something, and they'd be like, why isn't he helping her? This is misogyny.

00:24:30:15 - 00:24:36:12
Speaker 1
Stop filming there and help. And it's like, whoa, no, like me neither. One of them's.

00:24:36:16 - 00:24:47:05
Speaker 2
It's so funny on the internet. Like there's been videos where I've said to you, like, babe, can you do the washing up? How dare you like misogyny? I'm like, if only you knew. What are you talking about?

00:24:47:07 - 00:24:56:05
Speaker 1
So I know, I know, it's easy to get get it wrong, isn't it? But it's all about. Well, shall I give you my delicious.

00:24:56:06 - 00:24:56:23
Speaker 2
I can't wait.

00:24:56:24 - 00:25:01:20
Speaker 1
Short, catchy, amazingly written. New neurodivergent rule.

00:25:02:01 - 00:25:02:09
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:25:02:10 - 00:25:12:00
Speaker 1
Please build a relationship around your brains, not society's expectations.

00:25:12:02 - 00:25:17:22
Speaker 2
Yeah. Or divide tasks. Basically. Skill.

00:25:17:24 - 00:25:33:01
Speaker 1
So much better. Damn divide tasks. Biscuit. Do you know how much time and energy that would save? But it might look weird because one might be really good at something that isn't expected.

00:25:33:03 - 00:25:35:14
Speaker 2
Will you come up with all the ideas for these podcasts?

00:25:35:15 - 00:25:37:01
Speaker 1
And apparently they're rubbish.

00:25:37:05 - 00:25:54:16
Speaker 2
Well, no, that just the the phrases are are a bit bad today, but if I tried to do it, it would take me so much longer. And the same with the laundry. You would need to wash a load four times because you would forget about it, whereas I do it once and then take it out.

00:25:54:19 - 00:26:01:11
Speaker 1
There is an area and I think this is a lovely place to finish.

00:26:01:13 - 00:26:06:18
Speaker 1
That really does show you the difference in skill. And that is stacking the dishwasher.

00:26:06:20 - 00:26:07:06
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:26:07:07 - 00:26:38:09
Speaker 1
Now, because I am I'm really trying to be more of an active participant in domestic labor and I am really trying. So I'll like try and clean the kitchen or like put dishes away after like and really keep on top of it. Yeah. So it doesn't get messy. But what happens is every time I start the dishwasher, you will come and be second.

00:26:38:10 - 00:27:04:09
Speaker 2
It's not to be mean. It's just so we can fit more stuff in the dishwasher. Because the way that you do it is like, think about Tetris. The game Tetris. Yeah, with all the blocks coming down the way I stack the dishwasher, there's no holes in the in the blocks. There's no gaps the way you do it. There's big gaping holes all the way up so it fills the page quicker.

00:27:04:11 - 00:27:07:03
Speaker 2
I can get more pieces in there.

00:27:07:05 - 00:27:10:05
Speaker 1
It's fair enough. You have a better skill than me.

00:27:10:10 - 00:27:10:20
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:27:10:21 - 00:27:15:23
Speaker 1
At that. But it doesn't stop me trying. That's the relationship.

00:27:16:00 - 00:27:21:00
Speaker 2
And on that note, that's a close. Yeah.

00:27:21:02 - 00:27:41:24
Speaker 1
That's a close. We've been the Late Bloomers podcast. If you've had fun, give us a like a follow a subscribe and let us know in the comments. What rules do you think are a little bit crazy from the neurotypical world? And have you got some relationship hacks that astronauts vergence need to know? As always, thanks for joining us and we shall see you next week.