1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,390 For my bridal shower, I made one very clear request to 2 00:00:03,430 --> 00:00:05,180 Emily, Chloe, and Natalie. 3 00:00:05,493 --> 00:00:07,749 I did not want lingerie as a gift. 4 00:00:08,146 --> 00:00:10,663 I wasn't comfortable opening something like that in front of 5 00:00:10,663 --> 00:00:12,583 my family and my fiancé's family. 6 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:15,653 Chloe made it very clear that she didn't care. 7 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:20,013 Before the shower, she repeatedly said she was gonna buy me lingerie anyway. 8 00:00:20,393 --> 00:00:24,322 When I told her she needed to respect my boundaries and that I simply wouldn't 9 00:00:24,382 --> 00:00:28,457 open her gift in front of others… Hey guys, welcome back to another 10 00:00:28,457 --> 00:00:29,757 episode of Here Comes The Drama. 11 00:00:29,787 --> 00:00:31,117 I'm your host, Christa Innis. 12 00:00:31,227 --> 00:00:33,427 If it's your first time here, welcome. 13 00:00:33,738 --> 00:00:39,278 We dive into some pretty wild stories from followers about weddings, events, 14 00:00:39,464 --> 00:00:41,946 bachelorette parties, and so much more. 15 00:00:41,946 --> 00:00:42,956 There's really no limit. 16 00:00:43,271 --> 00:00:45,393 If you guys have a story of your own, please submit them. 17 00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:49,873 We are always taking new stories, and I currently have a form of, 18 00:00:49,929 --> 00:00:53,762 over 300 entries, 300 plus probably. 19 00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:57,398 and it's funny because when I turn these into skits, Once I'm into a 20 00:00:57,398 --> 00:00:59,758 new skit, I kind of forget old ones. 21 00:01:00,048 --> 00:01:01,338 Not like I forget the characters. 22 00:01:01,402 --> 00:01:03,512 if someone brings up a storyline, I'm like, "Oh, yeah." 23 00:01:03,839 --> 00:01:07,278 But you guys are so good about remembering, characters, what they 24 00:01:07,278 --> 00:01:11,238 wore, where I left you guys hanging, and where I need to continue. 25 00:01:11,458 --> 00:01:16,730 One of the most popular ones that I get a request for continuing is the Elle 26 00:01:16,730 --> 00:01:21,970 and Vivian skit, and that has been on my roster for so long to continue with season 27 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:27,113 two, and I really can't blame it on much other than, I just started ramping up 28 00:01:27,133 --> 00:01:31,523 other content, my podcast, and I was just like, "Okay, I need to do other stories." 29 00:01:31,577 --> 00:01:35,935 So if you are a fan of the Elle and Vivian skit, don't worry, I 30 00:01:35,935 --> 00:01:38,035 do have plans on continuing it. 31 00:01:38,338 --> 00:01:40,635 I will give a better estimate when I know. 32 00:01:41,069 --> 00:01:45,429 as of recording this, I just finished sharing the, You Stole Our Wedding 33 00:01:45,429 --> 00:01:47,909 Year skit with Lizzie and Max. 34 00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:51,929 and you guys convinced me to do an epilogue, so that was a two-part epilogue. 35 00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:57,060 It was so much fun to create, but I know the ending made, uh, people very 36 00:01:57,060 --> 00:02:01,620 disappointed just because I follow the storyline where, spoiler alert if you 37 00:02:01,620 --> 00:02:06,186 have not listened, fast-forward a little bit, but Max stays with Lizzie, and he 38 00:02:06,206 --> 00:02:08,266 ultimately cuts contact with his family. 39 00:02:08,660 --> 00:02:13,618 And the reason I wanted to share this was because not every story we get, 40 00:02:13,969 --> 00:02:18,681 in fact, we see all the time, does not end happy, and I know it would be great 41 00:02:18,691 --> 00:02:23,231 to have every story end where, oh, he realizes his mistakes, he's gonna go back. 42 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,664 It just doesn't happen like that. 43 00:02:24,664 --> 00:02:29,664 So I wanted to kind of show the outcome after that he goes through with it. 44 00:02:29,664 --> 00:02:31,874 He has too much pride to say, "You know what? 45 00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:34,407 I let my future wife treat you guys this way. 46 00:02:34,407 --> 00:02:35,337 I'm really sorry. 47 00:02:35,657 --> 00:02:38,737 I'm gonna back out now." And it's happened so many times, and people are 48 00:02:38,737 --> 00:02:41,725 like, "Okay, well, can you do one in a couple years or five years down the 49 00:02:41,725 --> 00:02:43,522 road and show us that he, realizes?" 50 00:02:43,522 --> 00:02:47,663 And I'm like, I've seen firsthand where people are stuck in toxic 51 00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:51,264 relationships for a long time because of pride, or they've gone so long 52 00:02:51,264 --> 00:02:54,054 without talking to their family that they just kind of keep moving forward. 53 00:02:54,428 --> 00:02:59,067 I also wanna draw attention to when we get a story, we are only hearing 54 00:02:59,067 --> 00:03:01,757 from that person's perspective, and I just talked about this on a YouTube, 55 00:03:02,107 --> 00:03:06,157 So for example, I could do a video from Lizzie's perspective, right? 56 00:03:06,465 --> 00:03:11,643 So Lizzie's the toxic bride or bridezilla, if you wanna call her that, and I could 57 00:03:11,643 --> 00:03:15,959 do it from her perspective, and maybe from her perspective, Max's family 58 00:03:15,959 --> 00:03:17,559 really did never wanna support them. 59 00:03:17,816 --> 00:03:20,989 Maybe Max's family said no to a lot of things. 60 00:03:20,989 --> 00:03:25,389 Maybe early in their relationship, Max's family was rude or dismissive of her. 61 00:03:25,608 --> 00:03:27,672 We don't know that, and I know people are gonna be listening and 62 00:03:27,672 --> 00:03:30,292 be like, "No, that's not how it was." but we don't know, right? 63 00:03:30,292 --> 00:03:34,698 So when we get stories sent in, I just take it from that person's perspective, 64 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:38,939 and, you know, I tweak some things, I add some things, and, we just have to make 65 00:03:38,939 --> 00:03:41,029 our own assumptions as we listen to it. 66 00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:44,827 and then of course I added in all the drama with the bride's 67 00:03:44,827 --> 00:03:46,607 mom that did not actually happen. 68 00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:48,314 just having some fun with it. 69 00:03:48,344 --> 00:03:50,775 But on to the next storyline. 70 00:03:51,071 --> 00:03:53,451 I don't know if they're gonna be reoccurring characters that you see. 71 00:03:53,451 --> 00:03:57,311 I know we always want the characters to keep going when we become 72 00:03:57,311 --> 00:03:58,511 really attached to characters. 73 00:03:58,511 --> 00:04:00,951 I mean, I still get people asking about Ferris and Sloane, 74 00:04:01,316 --> 00:04:02,706 Elle and Vivian, like I said. 75 00:04:02,963 --> 00:04:03,693 what was the other one? 76 00:04:03,953 --> 00:04:05,863 Cher and Dion. 77 00:04:05,933 --> 00:04:07,733 People really love those storylines. 78 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:10,480 If you guys don't know what those are, we'll link them at the bottom. 79 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,917 Those are some of, like, the earlier long skits. 80 00:04:13,947 --> 00:04:18,342 After Ferris and Sloane, I did a lot more longer skits, and now I feel like I'm 81 00:04:18,352 --> 00:04:25,120 finally at a place where I have a routine of how to, like, manage my time, have 82 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:30,762 boundaries, and also record, not quickly, but, Have a plan for when things come out. 83 00:04:30,892 --> 00:04:35,371 I was saying this recently, but I used to film, in my bathroom, and I 84 00:04:35,371 --> 00:04:39,648 would just kind of have a very basic idea of what was gonna happen, pick up 85 00:04:39,648 --> 00:04:43,334 my phone and be like, "Oh, okay. You know, here's the conversation that's 86 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:46,134 gonna go take place," but then I would just kind of, like, roll with it. 87 00:04:46,134 --> 00:04:47,624 And then wild things would happen. 88 00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:49,884 that's how Ferris and Sloane season one happened. 89 00:04:49,894 --> 00:04:51,784 Like, things just came out, right? 90 00:04:52,147 --> 00:04:57,351 Now, I sit down, take my time with the script, write it all out, and 91 00:04:57,351 --> 00:05:01,951 then each character has an outfit, and I film character by character. 92 00:05:02,355 --> 00:05:05,932 Where it's harder is kind of figuring out where each person's standing, and 93 00:05:05,932 --> 00:05:07,152 I'm like, "Where should they be looking? 94 00:05:07,152 --> 00:05:11,588 Okay, how does this scene look?" but where it's easier is the editing because then 95 00:05:11,588 --> 00:05:16,682 I have everyone together. I can really get into the character, instead of being 96 00:05:16,682 --> 00:05:20,729 like, " Oh, this person's mad, but this person's sad, this person's happy." I 97 00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:24,515 hope you guys are enjoying how I'm doing things a little bit better this time. 98 00:05:24,589 --> 00:05:26,677 I know you guys just see what I put out there. 99 00:05:26,677 --> 00:05:28,007 You don't really see the behind the scenes. 100 00:05:28,007 --> 00:05:31,657 But for me, I feel a little more at ease 'cause when I tell you guys, 101 00:05:31,827 --> 00:05:35,773 Some of the skits I used to film, I could feel my heart pounding out of 102 00:05:35,773 --> 00:05:39,202 my chest when I was filming because I was, anxious about getting it 103 00:05:39,202 --> 00:05:40,492 done in a certain amount of time. 104 00:05:40,926 --> 00:05:43,735 I would try to film, post, and edit all the same day. 105 00:05:44,031 --> 00:05:47,102 If it was late, I was, stressed if I, like, couldn't get it done in time. 106 00:05:47,422 --> 00:05:50,639 So there was a lot going on, but, I think we're at a better place now, 107 00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:56,533 and and I hope to constantly improve and constantly, add stuff to, how I'm 108 00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:58,363 creating and filming content for you guys. 109 00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,076 Okay. 110 00:05:59,186 --> 00:06:02,893 So I know that was a little bit of a rant, but so many times you guys 111 00:06:02,893 --> 00:06:06,193 leave me such kind comments and say, Never apologize for the rants." 112 00:06:06,446 --> 00:06:08,883 They're kinda like caffeination rants. 113 00:06:08,883 --> 00:06:10,263 I don't even know, what you wanna call them. 114 00:06:10,743 --> 00:06:13,383 I get really energetic and excited about certain things. 115 00:06:13,863 --> 00:06:16,383 Okay, let's go into dilemmas. 116 00:06:16,773 --> 00:06:19,193 So this is a little dilemma that was sent to me. 117 00:06:19,203 --> 00:06:23,246 As a reminder, if you wanna send a dilemma, just ask me my opinion on 118 00:06:23,246 --> 00:06:27,276 something, or really want the audience's opinion, I always share these on my social 119 00:06:27,276 --> 00:06:29,556 media, as well, so people can share. 120 00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:33,440 send them to me at hello@krystaennis.com, or you can DM me. 121 00:06:33,440 --> 00:06:36,080 The best place to DM is on Instagram at heykrystaennis, 122 00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,184 and I will filter through those. 123 00:06:38,587 --> 00:06:41,955 it's just a great way to get just some more input, because there's a lot of 124 00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:46,918 situations out there that are really hard to just grasp on, like, what to do, and 125 00:06:46,918 --> 00:06:48,718 it's good to get an outside perspective. 126 00:06:49,022 --> 00:06:49,952 Okay, so here we go. 127 00:06:50,222 --> 00:06:54,782 " My sister Emma and I are both getting married nine months apart. 128 00:06:55,158 --> 00:06:59,622 She got engaged first, and I got engaged about six months later. 129 00:06:59,947 --> 00:07:02,588 We booked our wedding venue just a few weeks after getting 130 00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,818 engaged for our 2027 wedding. 131 00:07:05,298 --> 00:07:09,524 Shortly after, Emma booked hers July 2026 132 00:07:09,759 --> 00:07:14,478 It honestly felt like she rushed to lock hers in first because she seemed annoyed 133 00:07:14,478 --> 00:07:16,358 that we booked our venue so quickly. 134 00:07:16,694 --> 00:07:19,108 Dress shopping for Emma was a nightmare. 135 00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:23,921 She tried on nearly 100 dresses, and throughout the process, 136 00:07:24,172 --> 00:07:26,074 our mom made her feel awful. 137 00:07:26,381 --> 00:07:29,954 Our younger sister and I spent most of the appointments trying to do 138 00:07:29,954 --> 00:07:32,084 damage control and keep the peace. 139 00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:36,644 Fast-forward to six weeks before Emma's wedding, it was finally 140 00:07:36,654 --> 00:07:38,764 my turn to say yes to the dress. 141 00:07:39,261 --> 00:07:42,648 Everything was going perfectly until we left the bridal shop. 142 00:07:42,953 --> 00:07:47,944 Out of nowhere, my mom became upset, insisting that I hadn't thanked her and 143 00:07:47,944 --> 00:07:50,114 that I'd been speaking to her rudely. 144 00:07:50,418 --> 00:07:54,981 That simply wasn't true, and several other people were there to back me up. 145 00:07:55,424 --> 00:07:58,284 Then Emma completely exploded at me. 146 00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:03,318 She called me rude, criticized the way I behaved, and reminded me 147 00:08:03,448 --> 00:08:05,681 that our mom had paid for my dress. 148 00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:09,788 An argument broke out, and I left the bridal shop in tears. 149 00:08:10,078 --> 00:08:14,089 Since that day, I haven't spoken to either of them. 150 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:14,794 Wow. 151 00:08:15,311 --> 00:08:20,369 Emma's wedding is in six weeks, and right now I don't plan on going even 152 00:08:20,369 --> 00:08:21,969 though I'm one of her bridesmaids. 153 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:25,696 I feel like she completely ruined what should have been one of the 154 00:08:25,696 --> 00:08:27,556 most special days of my life. 155 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:31,581 As for my mom, she has a habit of getting upset any time she isn't 156 00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:35,108 the center of attention, and this wasn't the first time it's happened. 157 00:08:35,590 --> 00:08:39,451 I've decided I'm going to pay my mom back for the dress, and 158 00:08:39,491 --> 00:08:43,451 honestly, I'm seriously considering cutting ties with both of them. 159 00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:47,976 I know that might sound extreme, but this was the final straw after 160 00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:50,356 a long history of similar behavior. 161 00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:54,663 Growing up, Emma has always been the golden child. 162 00:08:55,093 --> 00:08:55,613 okay. 163 00:08:55,899 --> 00:08:57,189 So that's where it leaves off. 164 00:08:57,636 --> 00:09:02,385 I think… Gosh, there's so much to say here and so much to unpack, right? 165 00:09:02,528 --> 00:09:05,418 and it sounds like she says there's a long history, right? 166 00:09:05,418 --> 00:09:08,369 So I can only grab what I'm given here. 167 00:09:08,389 --> 00:09:08,799 Okay? 168 00:09:09,244 --> 00:09:11,682 I think there's a lot of tension just building up over the years. 169 00:09:11,712 --> 00:09:15,936 I don't think, like she said, I don't think it's about just this one thing, 170 00:09:16,192 --> 00:09:20,054 but the fact that her mom exploded on her and then the sister didn't back her 171 00:09:20,054 --> 00:09:23,269 up and started going off on her saying, "Well, you should be grateful 'cause 172 00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:27,350 Mom bought this dress for you," it just sounds like a competition was just 173 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,040 ready to come head-to-head and explode. 174 00:09:30,378 --> 00:09:34,697 Now, where it comes for… inviting them or not inviting them… know what? 175 00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:38,907 Let's start first by talking about her not going to the sister's wedding 176 00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:41,947 You can only be the one to decide that, right? 177 00:09:41,987 --> 00:09:44,917 You know deep down and you know everything that's happened. 178 00:09:45,164 --> 00:09:48,589 And if something in your gut is telling you not to go to this because you're 179 00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:52,640 gonna be miserable, uncomfortable, you would rather them just have 180 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,829 their day than more power to you. 181 00:09:55,171 --> 00:10:00,082 However, I personally would not just no-show. 182 00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:04,485 I would talk to your sister ahead of time and say, "This is what I'm feeling. 183 00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:07,631 This is what I'm thinking about," and just sit down and communicate. 184 00:10:07,965 --> 00:10:09,775 Maybe that's been weighing on her too. 185 00:10:10,125 --> 00:10:13,075 Maybe there's something you guys can clear the air on, and I'm not 186 00:10:13,075 --> 00:10:14,405 saying it's gonna fix everything. 187 00:10:14,775 --> 00:10:18,695 Tensions run high around weddings and all kinds of events, and I would just 188 00:10:18,695 --> 00:10:23,356 hate, again, we all have our reasonings for blocking or distancing ourself 189 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:26,217 from people, but I would just hate for you to look back on it and being like, 190 00:10:26,787 --> 00:10:28,340 "Ugh, I should have just talked to her." 191 00:10:28,681 --> 00:10:31,440 Or you find out later, like Emma's going through something, and you're like, 192 00:10:31,490 --> 00:10:35,940 "Ugh, I wish we just communicated, now I wasn't at her wedding for her." So I 193 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:41,025 would just really Think about how you can maybe reach out to her and just say like, 194 00:10:41,368 --> 00:10:43,233 " I just wanna discuss what happened. 195 00:10:43,587 --> 00:10:45,053 This is what hurt me. 196 00:10:45,327 --> 00:10:49,929 I really wanted you to back me up when mom was making my dress shopping about me. 197 00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:52,757 This was something I'd looked forward to for so long, and I 198 00:10:52,757 --> 00:10:54,366 really feel like it was ruined. 199 00:10:54,366 --> 00:10:57,499 You took the joy out of it." And just see what she says because I think 200 00:10:57,499 --> 00:11:00,985 like at the end of the day, you want her there to support you, right? 201 00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:02,456 But it doesn't always look like that. 202 00:11:02,506 --> 00:11:05,802 It's not gonna always be that way, and so I think it's really important 203 00:11:05,802 --> 00:11:10,587 that we ask ourselves, " Okay, how can this work moving forward?" And 204 00:11:10,832 --> 00:11:14,786 at the end, if it's not going to work and if you reach out to her and she's 205 00:11:14,786 --> 00:11:16,630 rude back, she's like, "Whatever. 206 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,291 I don't care if you don't come. 207 00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:19,331 Please don't come. 208 00:11:19,331 --> 00:11:21,865 I'd rather you not come," then you know, right? 209 00:11:22,258 --> 00:11:25,692 I just hate leaving it completely open-ended and not reaching out or 210 00:11:25,692 --> 00:11:29,193 giving that last piece ' cause I think in the heat of the moment we say a 211 00:11:29,193 --> 00:11:33,310 lot of things we don't mean or our emotions take over us, and we're already 212 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,680 stressed about the wedding, right? 213 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:36,910 And so we say things and we're just like, " Whatever. 214 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:37,640 Screw you. 215 00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,495 stop talking to me." so I would just try to reach out. 216 00:11:40,790 --> 00:11:43,365 As for your mom, it sounds like a completely different relationship. 217 00:11:43,663 --> 00:11:46,709 In the beginning, it does sound like there's still that competition with 218 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:52,116 Emma, but with your mom it sounds like there's always been a kinda rift, right? 219 00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:55,499 So if you can get okay with one, at least have communication with 220 00:11:55,499 --> 00:11:59,354 one, ask yourself is it worth the communication with your mom? 221 00:11:59,647 --> 00:12:03,090 Again, I think it is worth a conversation, but it sounds like the 222 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,970 mom conversation's gonna be a lot bigger and a lot deeper, and if she's someone 223 00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:11,121 that's not willing to hear you out or like you say, she's upset when she's 224 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:14,409 not the center of attention, that's gonna be a much harder conversation. 225 00:12:14,469 --> 00:12:17,950 Now, you have six weeks until the wedding, which in wedding planning is 226 00:12:17,950 --> 00:12:21,020 not a lot of time, but in talking to someone I think it is a lot of time. 227 00:12:21,498 --> 00:12:23,628 Plan a couple weeks out, let's meet for coffee. 228 00:12:23,922 --> 00:12:27,679 It's in a safe place, you're in public, which means people 229 00:12:27,689 --> 00:12:28,749 aren't gonna be, like, yelling. 230 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:31,579 if you go to someone's house, there's more likely to be some 231 00:12:31,579 --> 00:12:32,849 yelling and some disagreement. 232 00:12:32,849 --> 00:12:35,947 So if you're like, "Hey, let's meet for coffee. I just wanna calmly talk to you 233 00:12:35,967 --> 00:12:39,850 about something that's been upsetting me." I'm getting married, right after Emma. 234 00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:45,079 I always picture my mom and my sister there, but as of right now, I'm feeling 235 00:12:45,079 --> 00:12:46,734 that would cause me more stress. 236 00:12:47,064 --> 00:12:49,084 So you kinda have two angles to go here. 237 00:12:49,521 --> 00:12:51,331 Focus on your sister's wedding first. 238 00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:54,244 Don't do the no call, no show, you know, kinda thing. 239 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:57,782 I really think if you aren't going to go, you need to tell her. 240 00:12:58,105 --> 00:13:00,594 That way, she could be at fault here. 241 00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:01,974 I'm just an outsider. 242 00:13:02,391 --> 00:13:05,894 But picture being a bride and then your sister not showing up 243 00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,534 that day and you had no clue. 244 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,214 That can leave you at a very difficult position, and that can 245 00:13:11,214 --> 00:13:15,144 leave you feeling very anxious and upset on your wedding day. 246 00:13:15,538 --> 00:13:18,690 So just something to think about there okay. 247 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:23,492 So then going to your wedding, you say right now you're considering 248 00:13:23,492 --> 00:13:24,902 cutting ties with both of them. 249 00:13:25,252 --> 00:13:28,257 So again, I don't know everything that happened in the history. 250 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:30,117 You said this was the final straw. 251 00:13:30,204 --> 00:13:33,989 So there's been things throughout your life that has upset you. 252 00:13:34,301 --> 00:13:36,176 Maybe it's been the two against you. 253 00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,406 I don't know where your little sister comes into that. 254 00:13:38,872 --> 00:13:40,456 It says Emma's been the golden child. 255 00:13:40,467 --> 00:13:43,229 So I feel like this has been something that you've been dealing with for 256 00:13:43,229 --> 00:13:47,531 a long time, whether it's been internally or externally, a lot of 257 00:13:47,531 --> 00:13:52,003 fights or disagreements You need to kind of think about everything and 258 00:13:52,419 --> 00:13:53,999 you kind of come to this conclusion. 259 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:58,255 And if you feel more stress about having them at your wedding, 260 00:13:58,662 --> 00:13:59,838 this might be the right decision. 261 00:14:00,355 --> 00:14:02,905 Obviously, Emma's wedding is first, so I would see how Emma's 262 00:14:02,915 --> 00:14:05,038 wedding goes if you decide to go. 263 00:14:05,479 --> 00:14:08,249 If not, communicate, and then you have to go to the next one. 264 00:14:08,612 --> 00:14:11,552 It's hard, especially when two siblings that have been rivals 265 00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:12,788 get married within the same year. 266 00:14:12,788 --> 00:14:15,248 We see it time and time again in stories that are sent to me. 267 00:14:15,556 --> 00:14:20,448 It's just a very challenging time, and it's hard to let go of, 268 00:14:20,531 --> 00:14:23,878 disagreements or different things that happened when you were a child. 269 00:14:24,075 --> 00:14:27,007 And I think everything kinda comes to a head, whether that's good or bad. 270 00:14:27,027 --> 00:14:31,514 I think sibling fights can be good, ' cause it can kind of bring out true 271 00:14:31,514 --> 00:14:35,478 emotion and true communication, but then you kinda have to either decide, do 272 00:14:35,478 --> 00:14:38,869 you wanna piece it back together one by one, or do you wanna let it fall apart? 273 00:14:39,186 --> 00:14:41,603 So I know that was kind of a lot, but I'm interested to hear what 274 00:14:41,603 --> 00:14:42,973 other people have to say as well. 275 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:47,281 So if you guys listening have your own input, maybe something similar 276 00:14:47,281 --> 00:14:50,627 happened to you or you've seen something similar happen, please leave a comment 277 00:14:50,627 --> 00:14:52,793 on our YouTube or on our social media. 278 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,533 All right, I hope that helped. 279 00:14:54,883 --> 00:14:57,623 All right, guys, let's jump into some hot takes, and then we are going to 280 00:14:57,633 --> 00:15:00,156 get in this week's story submission. 281 00:15:00,386 --> 00:15:00,806 All right. 282 00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:04,040 Not every best friend needs to be your maid of honor. 283 00:15:04,099 --> 00:15:05,640 100%. Yes. 284 00:15:06,007 --> 00:15:09,415 I don't think, being a friend or a sibling guarantees you're gonna be a 285 00:15:09,415 --> 00:15:11,195 maid of honor or even a bridesmaid. 286 00:15:11,587 --> 00:15:12,851 Everyone does things differently. 287 00:15:13,210 --> 00:15:17,773 it's just your closeness, maybe reliability, maybe their 288 00:15:17,773 --> 00:15:19,423 desire to be in a wedding. 289 00:15:19,593 --> 00:15:22,993 Some people just don't care about that stuff, so ask yourself those questions. 290 00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:25,342 It's okay to outgrow friendships after a wedding. 291 00:15:25,669 --> 00:15:28,782 Yes, and I was just actually thinking about this the other day, how not 292 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:32,993 only are weddings make or break for a lot of relationships and a lot of, 293 00:15:32,993 --> 00:15:37,177 like, family relationships, it's make or break for people in your wedding. 294 00:15:37,550 --> 00:15:40,240 And I hate to say it like that, but I've been in a lot of weddings 295 00:15:40,513 --> 00:15:44,818 where the last time friends saw each other was at the wedding. 296 00:15:45,154 --> 00:15:48,014 whether it's a wedding guest or bridesmaids, but specifically I was 297 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:51,011 thinking about bridesmaids the other day, and I think it's because you 298 00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:54,628 hang on to these friends for so long, and you're like, " Oh, yes, they're 299 00:15:54,628 --> 00:15:58,553 gonna be a bridesmaid in my wedding," and then it falls to the wayside. 300 00:15:58,923 --> 00:16:02,753 There's also that certain friend where their whole life friends are on the back 301 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:06,681 burner, and every guy they date is on the pedestal in front of them, right? 302 00:16:06,956 --> 00:16:11,308 So they have these friends to hold onto until they get married, and then they're 303 00:16:11,308 --> 00:16:12,578 married, and they're like, " Mm-kay. 304 00:16:12,898 --> 00:16:13,828 I'll use them whenever I need them." 305 00:16:14,269 --> 00:16:15,858 And I've definitely have been that friend. 306 00:16:15,878 --> 00:16:17,758 I'm not gonna say too much more than that. 307 00:16:19,084 --> 00:16:22,781 So I think you sometimes just realize, like, they came to my wedding, 308 00:16:22,781 --> 00:16:26,012 and I think that's … We don't really have much more in common. 309 00:16:26,424 --> 00:16:28,834 Sometimes the bridesmaid isn't the problem, the bride is. 310 00:16:29,314 --> 00:16:31,047 100%. We see that in stories all the time. 311 00:16:31,445 --> 00:16:34,727 If someone complains about every wedding they're invited to, maybe 312 00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:35,857 they're the difficult guest. 313 00:16:37,195 --> 00:16:39,454 Yeah, I'm shaking my head in case you can't see. 314 00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:43,516 Just people in general that every time you see them, they're complaining about 315 00:16:43,516 --> 00:16:47,630 something- Probably not the easiest person to please, and they're just gonna 316 00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:49,210 find something wrong no matter what. 317 00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:52,699 Friends shouldn't expect to bring their partner everywhere. 318 00:16:52,913 --> 00:16:57,680 In regards to weddings, I think your friends should be 319 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,870 able to bring their partner. 320 00:16:59,173 --> 00:17:04,030 However, yes, I think it's healthy to have… speaking from a woman, a girl, 321 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:08,974 I am all for female friendships, and I think you should Leave your partner 322 00:17:08,974 --> 00:17:11,104 at home and have female friendships. 323 00:17:11,609 --> 00:17:14,242 I had so many friends growing up that, like, could not go 324 00:17:14,262 --> 00:17:15,452 anywhere without their partner. 325 00:17:15,683 --> 00:17:17,240 Or if you'd be like, "Oh, we're gonna have a girls' night," they'd be like, 326 00:17:17,260 --> 00:17:20,030 "Oh, well s- so-and-so come?" And you're like, " This is a girls' night. 327 00:17:20,527 --> 00:17:23,420 He's not invited." I think it's healthy to have female 328 00:17:23,420 --> 00:17:25,823 friendships without your partner. 329 00:17:26,048 --> 00:17:26,558 You need it. 330 00:17:26,914 --> 00:17:28,074 All right, family hot takes. 331 00:17:28,402 --> 00:17:30,304 Child-free weddings are not anti-kid. 332 00:17:30,314 --> 00:17:32,144 Yes, I've said it a million times. 333 00:17:32,463 --> 00:17:36,066 You can absolutely love kids and realize not every single wedding 334 00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:37,246 is gonna be the place for them. 335 00:17:37,612 --> 00:17:41,368 I can think of tons of places that just are maybe not suited 336 00:17:41,368 --> 00:17:42,788 for kids, and that's okay. 337 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:46,323 Grandparents aren't automatically entitled to babysit or see 338 00:17:46,323 --> 00:17:48,133 grandchildren whenever they want. 339 00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:51,827 Yeah, of course, No one has that right to automatically see kids. 340 00:17:52,205 --> 00:17:55,785 family members don't deserve unlimited chances just because they're family. 341 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:56,495 Correct. 342 00:17:56,832 --> 00:17:58,491 I will not be elaborating at this time. 343 00:17:58,895 --> 00:18:02,585 Protecting your peace is more important than keeping everyone happy. 344 00:18:02,729 --> 00:18:04,335 Yes, 100%. 345 00:18:04,678 --> 00:18:08,608 Sometimes going low contact is healthier than constantly 346 00:18:08,608 --> 00:18:10,301 trying to fix relationship. 347 00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,031 Yes. 348 00:18:11,408 --> 00:18:15,384 You need to understand Especially if it's a relationship that constantly struggles 349 00:18:15,414 --> 00:18:20,584 or constantly has its battles, you need to decide when it's time to step back and 350 00:18:20,584 --> 00:18:27,450 say, "Okay, we are not gonna be that type of sibling, friend, neighbor," whatever. 351 00:18:27,767 --> 00:18:31,517 ' Cause sometimes we force ourselves to be close to someone because they're family, 352 00:18:31,939 --> 00:18:36,273 and I think sometimes we have to realize, like, "Okay, we can be good siblings, but 353 00:18:36,273 --> 00:18:40,686 maybe not, like, best friend siblings," or, " We can be like this, but not like 354 00:18:40,706 --> 00:18:45,359 that," or, "We can hang out this way, but not, like, that way." so I think low 355 00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:49,099 contact works for a lot of people, and that doesn't mean you don't like them. 356 00:18:49,179 --> 00:18:51,629 It doesn't mean you're not agreeing at the time, it just means you're 357 00:18:51,639 --> 00:18:54,966 respecting your peace in a way that's healthy for the both of you. 358 00:18:55,367 --> 00:18:57,796 That can also be things like, okay, we don't follow each other 359 00:18:57,796 --> 00:19:02,093 on social media, or we don't, Hang out at each other's houses. 360 00:19:02,093 --> 00:19:03,653 We only meet in public places. 361 00:19:03,773 --> 00:19:06,256 that kind of thing, just to keep yourself, at peace. 362 00:19:06,744 --> 00:19:10,729 All right, guys, this week's story submission, let's get into it. 363 00:19:11,278 --> 00:19:14,665 My best friend Emily and I got engaged around the same time. 364 00:19:14,928 --> 00:19:17,952 Ooh, this is, like, really close to the start of the other one. 365 00:19:18,259 --> 00:19:22,389 we also had another friend, Chloe, who we were close to at the time, 366 00:19:22,699 --> 00:19:24,279 but she wasn't seeing anyone. 367 00:19:24,606 --> 00:19:29,445 We later realized that Chloe tends to create drama where there really isn't any. 368 00:19:29,875 --> 00:19:35,075 Emily got engaged first, and Chloe and I were genuinely so happy for her. 369 00:19:35,501 --> 00:19:40,695 But when I got engaged shortly after, Chloe started acting weirdly clingy. 370 00:19:41,008 --> 00:19:45,251 She would physically wedge herself between me and my fiancé and act 371 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:49,101 strange whenever we were affectionate, like if we kissed or flirted. 372 00:19:49,448 --> 00:19:53,671 She also started making odd comments, almost like she was trying to create 373 00:19:53,681 --> 00:19:57,901 tension between me and Emily or find a reason to be upset with me. 374 00:19:58,344 --> 00:19:59,184 It didn't work. 375 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:04,001 Emily is very anti-drama, and I mostly just ignored Chloe's comments. 376 00:20:04,418 --> 00:20:07,438 At the time, there was a lot going on, so I brushed it off. 377 00:20:07,865 --> 00:20:11,610 Emily asked me to be her maid of honor, and I asked her to be mine. 378 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:16,007 We were both busy planning our weddings, and Chloe was asked and accepted 379 00:20:16,017 --> 00:20:17,517 to be a bridesmaid in both of them. 380 00:20:17,903 --> 00:20:22,143 Meanwhile, another friend of ours, Natalie, started pulling away. 381 00:20:22,495 --> 00:20:27,727 All right, so we've got Emily, Chloe, and Natalie, and the OP, 382 00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:29,707 who we do not have a name for. 383 00:20:30,019 --> 00:20:30,319 Okay. 384 00:20:30,739 --> 00:20:34,808 she's older than us and was feeling a bit left out because we 385 00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:37,558 were both getting married while she wasn't in a relationship. 386 00:20:37,943 --> 00:20:41,535 We reassured her that we'd always be there for her and that she would 387 00:20:41,535 --> 00:20:43,155 find the right person eventually. 388 00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:47,331 During Emily's wedding events, dress shopping, her engagement party, 389 00:20:47,361 --> 00:20:51,528 bridal shower, and bachelorette, Chloe was incredibly supportive. 390 00:20:51,905 --> 00:20:55,675 Any time someone tried to ask me about my own engagement during these moments, 391 00:20:55,984 --> 00:20:59,820 I would redirect the conversation and say we were there to celebrate Emily. 392 00:21:00,195 --> 00:21:04,363 Emily had a short engagement while mine was longer, so all this happened 393 00:21:04,373 --> 00:21:06,023 before I even found my dress. 394 00:21:06,397 --> 00:21:09,453 When it came time for my own dress shopping, Chloe's 395 00:21:09,483 --> 00:21:11,763 behavior completely changed. 396 00:21:12,208 --> 00:21:16,800 She made me feel insecure and like I was wasting everyone's time. 397 00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:21,327 She kept rushing me and making comments that made the experience stressful 398 00:21:21,327 --> 00:21:26,452 instead of exciting My mom and Emily are both very non-confrontational. 399 00:21:26,809 --> 00:21:31,319 Emily tends to avoid drama altogether, and my mom usually just rolls her eyes 400 00:21:31,319 --> 00:21:33,139 in the moment and vents to me later. 401 00:21:33,540 --> 00:21:37,555 Natalie is more confrontational, but since she doesn't know Chloe 402 00:21:37,555 --> 00:21:41,302 very well and knew I didn't want to give Chloe the satisfaction of 403 00:21:41,332 --> 00:21:44,472 causing drama, she stayed quiet, too. 404 00:21:44,923 --> 00:21:45,542 Okay. 405 00:21:45,873 --> 00:21:51,934 But Chloe's comments eventually crossed the line, and my mom actually snapped at 406 00:21:51,934 --> 00:21:54,254 her in the store where I found my dress. 407 00:21:54,294 --> 00:21:55,074 Go, Mom. 408 00:21:55,427 --> 00:21:56,517 I mean, that's the thing. 409 00:21:56,624 --> 00:21:58,524 I like to say I'm very non-confrontational. 410 00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:02,750 I don't like, causing a conflict or anything like that, but when it 411 00:22:02,750 --> 00:22:07,990 comes to things that are offensive or rude or talking about a friend of 412 00:22:07,990 --> 00:22:11,030 mine in a negative way, I will stand up for them and I will say that. 413 00:22:11,364 --> 00:22:12,904 I'm glad someone eventually did. 414 00:22:13,216 --> 00:22:14,994 And I'm curious about this Chloe girl. 415 00:22:15,279 --> 00:22:16,943 I've a couple of guesses here. 416 00:22:16,973 --> 00:22:21,063 Either she's extremely insecure about being single and not having someone, 417 00:22:21,421 --> 00:22:26,236 or my mind did cross, maybe she's got a crush on the OP here and she's 418 00:22:26,236 --> 00:22:28,716 just like, "Wait, no, I didn't want her to get married." I don't know. 419 00:22:28,716 --> 00:22:31,803 There's some weird, things she's doing here that almost sounds like she wants 420 00:22:31,803 --> 00:22:36,166 to be a barrier between her getting married, and that's very odd to me. 421 00:22:36,438 --> 00:22:39,563 You can quickly tell when you are engaged and planning a wedding 422 00:22:39,573 --> 00:22:41,153 which friends are not supportive. 423 00:22:41,473 --> 00:22:44,371 I'm very lucky I did not have that, but I've seen it 424 00:22:44,371 --> 00:22:46,281 firsthand in a lot of weddings. 425 00:22:46,634 --> 00:22:47,814 so just interesting. 426 00:22:48,184 --> 00:22:51,574 For my bridal shower, I made one very clear request to 427 00:22:51,614 --> 00:22:53,364 Emily, Chloe, and Natalie. 428 00:22:53,677 --> 00:22:55,934 I did not want lingerie as a gift. 429 00:22:56,331 --> 00:22:58,847 I wasn't comfortable opening something like that in front of 430 00:22:58,847 --> 00:23:00,767 my family and my fiancé's family. 431 00:23:01,298 --> 00:23:03,837 Chloe made it very clear that she didn't care. 432 00:23:04,331 --> 00:23:08,197 Before the shower, she repeatedly said she was gonna buy me lingerie anyway. 433 00:23:08,578 --> 00:23:12,507 When I told her she needed to respect my boundaries and that I simply wouldn't 434 00:23:12,567 --> 00:23:14,727 open her gift in front of others… 435 00:23:14,985 --> 00:23:15,917 Hopefully she wouldn't wear it. 436 00:23:16,267 --> 00:23:20,177 she said she would force me to open it in front of my mom and future mother-in-law. 437 00:23:20,230 --> 00:23:20,755 Okay. 438 00:23:21,102 --> 00:23:23,212 this woman does not like you. 439 00:23:23,212 --> 00:23:26,722 There's something in her that does not want to see you happy. 440 00:23:27,060 --> 00:23:31,022 Someone that's directly telling you, "Hey, I'm not gonna respect your boundary. 441 00:23:31,293 --> 00:23:33,035 Hey, I'm gonna embarrass you. 442 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,115 Hey, I'm not happy for you. 443 00:23:35,238 --> 00:23:37,505 Hey, I'm gonna make negative comments about you at your dress 444 00:23:37,505 --> 00:23:39,682 shopping." We gotta snip, snip, snip. 445 00:23:39,712 --> 00:23:41,995 Like, we don't want someone like that around us. 446 00:23:42,415 --> 00:23:44,928 That's wild force you to open a gift. 447 00:23:45,356 --> 00:23:47,116 At that point, I'd had enough. 448 00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:50,550 Emily's wedding took place before my bridal shower, and we had a 449 00:23:50,550 --> 00:23:52,500 conversation about Chloe's behavior. 450 00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:57,797 I told Emily that I wanted Chloe to step down as a bridesmaid and uninvite 451 00:23:57,817 --> 00:24:01,917 her from my shower, but I didn't want to cause drama during her wedding, 452 00:24:02,266 --> 00:24:03,897 so I decided to wait until after. 453 00:24:04,267 --> 00:24:05,277 I think that's pretty smart. 454 00:24:05,763 --> 00:24:10,623 go with the flow for your first friend's, for Emily's wedding, and then cut ties. 455 00:24:10,753 --> 00:24:13,535 I mean, it doesn't sound like she wants to d- directly cut ties. 456 00:24:13,535 --> 00:24:16,899 She just wants to have her step down, but I think that's, smart. 457 00:24:17,314 --> 00:24:20,852 During Emily's wedding, Chloe was still annoying, but she managed to 458 00:24:20,872 --> 00:24:22,512 behave herself for the most part. 459 00:24:22,882 --> 00:24:26,696 After Emily and her husband left for their honeymoon, I met up with Chloe to talk. 460 00:24:27,051 --> 00:24:30,859 I stayed calm the entire time and explained that I was 461 00:24:30,909 --> 00:24:32,749 uncomfortable with her behavior. 462 00:24:33,161 --> 00:24:36,993 I gave specific examples, how she acted during my dress appointments, 463 00:24:37,226 --> 00:24:40,827 her jokes about disrespecting my boundaries, and how differently she 464 00:24:40,827 --> 00:24:42,906 behaved during Emily's wedding events. 465 00:24:43,299 --> 00:24:45,889 Chloe immediately got defensive. 466 00:24:46,187 --> 00:24:50,754 She blamed everyone else for her behavior and refused to apologize. 467 00:24:51,149 --> 00:24:55,042 At that point, I told her I needed to ask her to step down as a bridesmaid. 468 00:24:55,358 --> 00:24:59,185 I also told her that while she was still invited to the wedding, I wasn't 469 00:24:59,185 --> 00:25:01,175 comfortable having her at my shower. 470 00:25:02,221 --> 00:25:02,937 Ooh. 471 00:25:02,957 --> 00:25:04,357 Okay, so I haven't finished quite yet. 472 00:25:04,367 --> 00:25:06,794 There's like a little bit left this is challenging. 473 00:25:06,846 --> 00:25:11,270 I applaud this person, this bride, for saying this and confronting her, because 474 00:25:11,290 --> 00:25:13,835 I think so many times in these stories they're like, "Well, I just put up with 475 00:25:13,835 --> 00:25:16,838 it, and they're still in the wedding, and on the wedding day they were rude 476 00:25:16,838 --> 00:25:20,961 to me, they did this to me, they put me down." And she saw what happened at the 477 00:25:20,961 --> 00:25:24,641 dress shopping, she saw how she treated her, she saw her ignore her boundaries. 478 00:25:24,950 --> 00:25:29,390 So she's like, "Hey, I wanna talk to you. Here's what I need from you. Here's my 479 00:25:29,390 --> 00:25:30,930 concerns," blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 480 00:25:31,276 --> 00:25:34,834 And then seeing how she's acting, she's like, "Okay, I don't want you to be in 481 00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:39,260 the wedding." so her response, if anyone can guess, is she said she doesn't 482 00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:42,597 wanna be friends anymore, and that was the last time I ever spoke to her. 483 00:25:43,277 --> 00:25:44,377 Oh, no. 484 00:25:44,911 --> 00:25:45,700 That's the thing, too. 485 00:25:45,791 --> 00:25:50,034 If you can't have an honest conversation with a friend without 486 00:25:50,034 --> 00:25:53,581 them just immediately cutting you off, that tells me what? 487 00:25:53,757 --> 00:25:55,548 That Chloe never really liked you. 488 00:25:55,937 --> 00:26:00,116 That might sound extreme, but that tells me that there was something in 489 00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:04,806 her this whole time where she felt superior to you until you got engaged 490 00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:09,082 and she's like, " I'm gonna try to embarrass her or make her uncomfortable." 491 00:26:09,472 --> 00:26:13,442 And the fact that you stood your ground, you stood up for yourself and said, "Hey, 492 00:26:13,779 --> 00:26:18,279 this is making me really uncomfortable. Here are my examples, A, B, and C," 493 00:26:18,596 --> 00:26:21,839 and she couldn't handle that, and that was all she needed to cut you out. 494 00:26:22,235 --> 00:26:23,885 I would say that's a win in your book. 495 00:26:24,220 --> 00:26:28,187 I hate this phrase, because I'm not trying to cause call this person trash, 496 00:26:28,187 --> 00:26:29,847 but the trash takes itself out, right? 497 00:26:29,877 --> 00:26:31,807 In your perspective, your life, right? 498 00:26:32,185 --> 00:26:35,154 I was just saying this again, you are the hero in some people's stories, 499 00:26:35,154 --> 00:26:36,114 you're the villain in others. 500 00:26:36,114 --> 00:26:37,564 That's just how life goes. 501 00:26:37,924 --> 00:26:39,910 People make up stories how they want, right? 502 00:26:40,270 --> 00:26:42,437 So she took herself out of the equation. 503 00:26:42,714 --> 00:26:44,237 She said, "This is how you feel about me? 504 00:26:44,630 --> 00:26:45,564 Then I won't be there at all. 505 00:26:45,601 --> 00:26:49,611 Let's just not be friends." And in all reality, someone that acts like 506 00:26:49,611 --> 00:26:53,489 that, just asking them to step down from a bridesmaid but still be a guest 507 00:26:53,489 --> 00:26:55,019 to your wedding is kinda like, meh. 508 00:26:55,505 --> 00:26:58,889 They're still gonna be there, so what does that really do for you? 509 00:26:58,993 --> 00:27:02,063 that gives her the satisfaction of like, "Oh, you're not completely 510 00:27:02,063 --> 00:27:05,101 cut out from the wedding." I think this was the best thing for you. 511 00:27:05,424 --> 00:27:07,664 I don't know if your wedding has happened yet. 512 00:27:08,031 --> 00:27:12,101 If it hasn't, good luck with everything and I hope it goes amazing and 513 00:27:12,101 --> 00:27:16,442 smooth, and that Chloe is just a little blimp in the wedding planning. 514 00:27:16,825 --> 00:27:19,472 If it has happened, please update. 515 00:27:19,615 --> 00:27:22,812 because you kind of, like, got rid of the drama, I'm sure there wasn't, much drama. 516 00:27:23,002 --> 00:27:27,030 The other thing I would point out is you also said, " Do not come to the shower. 517 00:27:27,157 --> 00:27:30,714 I'm uncomfortable at the shower." see, I would be mortified if a best friend 518 00:27:30,714 --> 00:27:34,671 of mine, if I was in their wedding and they came to me and said, " Here's 519 00:27:34,671 --> 00:27:38,057 why you made me uncomfortable. I don't want you to be a bridesmaid, and I 520 00:27:38,067 --> 00:27:39,497 don't want you to come to the shower." 521 00:27:39,963 --> 00:27:43,610 I'd be like, " "What?" Like, completely mortified. 522 00:27:43,796 --> 00:27:47,146 knowing me, I'd be like, "Well, what can I do? I'm so sorry. I 523 00:27:47,146 --> 00:27:50,380 didn't realize I was acting that way." you know, of course, unless it 524 00:27:50,380 --> 00:27:51,920 was completely, like, out of line. 525 00:27:51,930 --> 00:27:54,160 But for the most part, I'd be like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry." 526 00:27:54,854 --> 00:27:55,880 I wouldn't be like, "You know what? 527 00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:56,530 Friendship over. 528 00:27:56,530 --> 00:28:00,547 Bye." So if it's telling or if it's not telling. 529 00:28:00,681 --> 00:28:03,754 let me know what you guys think, 'cause that's… wild story, and I feel like 530 00:28:03,754 --> 00:28:09,014 both of our dilemma and story of this week really connect with friendships and 531 00:28:09,014 --> 00:28:13,331 relationships and who you have in your wedding and who you allow in your space 532 00:28:13,331 --> 00:28:15,061 during your wedding, or any event, right? 533 00:28:15,479 --> 00:28:19,371 And I think a lot of times when we're younger, we're told, Oh, just invite them. 534 00:28:19,391 --> 00:28:20,011 Oh, come on. 535 00:28:20,051 --> 00:28:20,891 they're your sister. 536 00:28:20,891 --> 00:28:21,661 They're your friend. 537 00:28:21,661 --> 00:28:22,931 Oh, you've known them a long time. 538 00:28:22,931 --> 00:28:27,181 Just suck it up." And I think as we get older, we kind of realize like, "Well, no. 539 00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:31,198 I don't have to suck it up because they were rude to me. 540 00:28:31,248 --> 00:28:36,924 I don't have to put up with that kind of behavior because it's easier or it's nice. 541 00:28:37,294 --> 00:28:40,081 why do I have to be the bigger person?" So yeah. 542 00:28:40,409 --> 00:28:40,648 I don't know. 543 00:28:40,658 --> 00:28:42,818 Let me know what you guys think about that. 544 00:28:43,105 --> 00:28:46,898 As always, in case you are listening just to the audio here, you can 545 00:28:46,898 --> 00:28:48,228 see the full video on YouTube. 546 00:28:48,228 --> 00:28:50,058 We always post them there, so check it out. 547 00:28:50,484 --> 00:28:51,134 All right, guys. 548 00:28:51,217 --> 00:28:55,204 Ending, as usual, with our confessions, so let's read these. 549 00:28:55,515 --> 00:28:59,638 This week, we asked a compromise you made for your wedding that 550 00:28:59,638 --> 00:29:01,508 you still resent a little bit. 551 00:29:02,008 --> 00:29:02,418 Okay. 552 00:29:02,594 --> 00:29:06,649 This person says, "I couldn't get married in my own church because 553 00:29:06,649 --> 00:29:10,354 my in-laws wouldn't attend." I'd be like, "Well then don't come." 554 00:29:10,741 --> 00:29:14,111 I had a therapist on here and I asked her about, like, people that threaten 555 00:29:14,111 --> 00:29:18,108 to not come because they're not getting their way, and she said, " You just have 556 00:29:18,118 --> 00:29:22,404 to sit down, reinforce your boundary, and let it play out." If they're like, 557 00:29:22,404 --> 00:29:25,004 "Oh, well I'm not gonna come if you don't move me to a different table," 558 00:29:25,318 --> 00:29:27,018 then you have to be like, "Okay. 559 00:29:27,406 --> 00:29:30,368 Then I will either see you or I won't see you." ' Cause when we 560 00:29:30,368 --> 00:29:34,511 start changing things for other people, then, what do they say? 561 00:29:34,511 --> 00:29:36,151 Like, you give an inch, they take a mile. 562 00:29:36,247 --> 00:29:39,544 So I'd be curious to see what else they made her change. 563 00:29:39,923 --> 00:29:45,651 The father-in-law threw a surprise reception that had family and his 564 00:29:45,651 --> 00:29:48,094 friends and none of our friends. 565 00:29:48,274 --> 00:29:50,545 10 years still on it. 566 00:29:51,672 --> 00:29:54,652 Wait, I need to know how a surprise reception happens. 567 00:29:54,702 --> 00:29:57,868 So, like, you guys maybe eloped, and then they just threw you guys 568 00:29:57,868 --> 00:30:01,008 a party without actually, like, consulting, who you'd want there? 569 00:30:01,383 --> 00:30:02,022 Interesting. 570 00:30:02,306 --> 00:30:06,513 scrapped a dream to plan smaller where I live to reduce the amount 571 00:30:06,533 --> 00:30:08,670 of time with my mom planning. 572 00:30:08,750 --> 00:30:11,010 Oh, so you wanted a simple wedding, so you have to, like, plan with her. 573 00:30:11,380 --> 00:30:15,280 this person says, "Letting kids be there." Ooh, I'm interested to know why. 574 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,990 I would wanna hear that story. 575 00:30:17,420 --> 00:30:22,576 my sister-in-law as a bridesmaid after she had meddled with my wedding. 576 00:30:22,978 --> 00:30:24,853 Need to know more to that story. 577 00:30:25,240 --> 00:30:29,614 This person says, "Inviting my mom And this person says, 578 00:30:29,953 --> 00:30:32,461 " "Reception at a restaurant." 579 00:30:32,893 --> 00:30:33,371 Okay. 580 00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:37,016 It's hard especially when you're young or you have a lot of voices coming in 581 00:30:37,016 --> 00:30:41,577 telling you it should be a certain way, but I always find when you cave in some 582 00:30:41,577 --> 00:30:44,577 direction, that ends up being your regret. 583 00:30:44,847 --> 00:30:48,777 So always, always get on the same page as your partner first, 584 00:30:49,101 --> 00:30:50,677 then invite in other people. 585 00:30:50,677 --> 00:30:53,507 And I know that's easier said than done because sometimes people invite themselves 586 00:30:53,507 --> 00:30:55,397 in at the start of the engagement. 587 00:30:55,650 --> 00:30:59,207 So just make sure you have those boundaries and try to protect your peace. 588 00:30:59,616 --> 00:31:01,939 All right, guys, that is all I have for this week. 589 00:31:01,939 --> 00:31:04,179 Thanks for hanging out with me, and I will see you next time. 590 00:31:04,388 --> 00:31:04,826 Bye now