Speaker: Said, well, why

don't you come down south?

Like, you know, come

look at the southwest.

So she came down and her, her

actual words to me when we moved

down there to the married quarters

was, I'll give this two weeks.

So I was like, oh, here we go.

My hands Ginger, wake up, wake up.

And he's like, smacking me in the

face like, ginger, stay awake.

Stay awake.

And I, I couldn't, I

was drifting in and out.

I was like, a hundred percent that block

saved my life and we're coming down.

And then, but I remember the boss

saying, I'm sure he said something like,

if he hits the brakes we're fucked.

I had fucking red light

just come on in front there.

Why did, if he had to said that, I would.

Speaker 2: Guys, welcome back

to the Combat Fuel Podcast.

Today we are joined by another

Royal Marine, Mr. Tom Merriman,

also known as the Wando PTI.

Tom, thank you for your service and

please give us a little bit of a

introduction about you and who you are.

Speaker: Uh, so yes, Sergeant

Thomas Merriman, uh, Rome, Marine's

physical training instructor.

Um.

Father of three boys, absolute lunatics

and, uh, and a husband to, uh, Louise,

Speaker 2: what's harder

being in the Royal Marines or

being a father to three boys?

Speaker: Being a husband?

Uh, they all have the

challenges, don't they?

Yeah.

Uh, I think the, the difference is, you

know, if I, if I get something wrong in

the Marines, I get, I get shouted out by

the SAR major, whereas if I get something

wrong at home, it's, it's the wife.

So, depends who you wanna get

the, you know, the roast enough.

Speaker 2: So obviously we're evidently

been in the Royal Marines for, for,

for a while, you know, you're part of

the part of furniture now, aren't you?

Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Been

Speaker 2: for a long time.

But where did, where

did life start for you?

Speaker: So, I, I grew up in Stockport,

uh, the northwest of England.

Um, it's, I think it's like the

second biggest town in the uk.

I think Blackpool's the biggest, and

Stockport is like the second biggest.

Um, at the time it was quite a rough,

rough place to live, but now I've

heard it's, it's getting developed.

People are moving to Stockport now.

Uh, it's a suburb of Manchester, so

you've always got work, you've got

good links, you've got an airport.

Um, so it's quite a

desirable place to live.

But I grew, when I grew up there,

there wasn't really much going on

in, in the northwest of England.

If you, you was workwise, you know,

if he was a, he was good for, if he

was good at football, you had like

city and man United and Liverpool

and Everton and all on the doorstep.

You had a lot of community

clubs as well, like Wig and Bolt

and Stockport, Alden Rochdale.

There was loads of football teams.

So, you know, if he was good at sport,

if he was good at football, then

you know, you had an opportunity.

But for me, I wasn't that good.

Um, so it, it was always, um, you know,

it was military or nothing for me.

Speaker 2: Nice.

Did you know that from quite a

young age then that the military

is what you wanted to do and, and

specifically the Royal Marines?

Speaker: Yeah, I think from about the age

of eight I wanted to be in the military.

Uh, you know, I always, I was always

running around in the fields with

combats on and, you know, playing,

playing soldiers with my mates and stuff.

But it wasn't until I was

about 12 years old where my dad

introduced me to a family friend.

I can't mention his name 'cause he, he

works for companies now that we, you

know, we not really allowed to mention

names for the company that he works for.

Um, but he, he, I, he

introduced me to him.

He was Aro Marine PT at the time.

He was from a town called

Gloss Up, like up in Darby Show

and, uh, got chatting to him.

Not at the time, I

didn't realise this book.

He was quite a notorious

character in the Royal Marines.

You know, people had nightmares about him.

He was like the, you know, the

absolute monster of a PTI and you know.

I, to me, he was just a family friend

and I, you know, got introduced to him.

And from the day I met him, he just,

he just inspired me and influenced me.

And I, I think from that day on, I

didn't just wanna be aro Marine or

want to be aro Marine, PTI, which is

what led me to, to where I am today.

And he's always been there.

He's bit like an older brother to me.

He, like, I messaged, he

messaged me yesterday actually.

We, we still speak now and he's helped

me through a lot of things in my life.

So yeah, that's where it

started really for me.

Speaker 2: Standup guy.

So in your, in your early

childhood as well, so he was a,

a massive role model for you?

Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

Big time, yeah.

Along with my father, uh, and

TaeKwonDo coach, uh, Steve

Lumley and football coach.

He was quite a lot of

influential men in my life.

Uh, along with my mum

as well and my grandma.

They were quite influential to me.

Speaker 2: How, how was your

upbringing though, any dramas or

was it pretty plain sailing for you?

Speaker: Uh, so at home,

at home it was good.

I had a, a really, like there was

me, my mum and dad and my sister, mom

and dad are still together now, so I

consider myself quite fortunate in that.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: In that respect.

But

Speaker 2: quite rare these days.

Speaker: Yeah, really rare.

Really rare.

And, and, and I can kind of see

why, because we've had challenges.

My wife and I have had challenges

and we're still together.

Um, so I understand now I understand

like why people do separate.

'cause I've, I've been

through similar events.

Um.

But I think my childhood, we had this like

home that I couldn't have asked for more.

We didn't have much money, uh, but we

had a lot of love and, uh, morals and,

you know, good, uh, like ethos was being

installed at home, good habits and stuff.

Like we, we all, we sat

around the table and had tea.

You know, we, we, we, when I

came home from school, we, we

did chores around the house.

Me and my sister did chores around

the house to, to make sure when

my mom and dad came home, there

was nothing that needed doing.

And my sister was better

at that than I was.

And I had needed a, a bit

of a rocket sometimes.

But, but it, it probably

installed the, the early

military, military sort of habits.

Um, you know, every, everything that

we, that we that was installed was,

was probably looking at now, like

discipline and manners and communication

skills was all, all from my parents.

But then I went to school and like cards

on the table, I was fat and ginger.

And I grew up in the nineties, so,

you know, I was definitely getting it.

Speaker 2: When you say getting

it, so were you bullied at school?

Speaker: Yeah, massively.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was about

Speaker 2: fat and ginger.

Speaker: Yeah.

Uh, you know, and, and, and I think that

for me then I, I couldn't understand it

'cause I went, I went, I grew up in a

house where it was full of love and, and,

and you know, everything that you wanted.

But then I went to school and,

and got bullied and, you know,

Speaker 2: how, how does that

affect you at a young age?

Uh, did it age you?

Was it Well, I'm not that I,

I might say we ginger, but

I'm not gonna be fat anymore.

Massive.

And

Speaker: then, so it

massively impacted that.

Yeah.

And there was a, there was an, there was

an incident in my life as well where we

prob, which probably led, I'm probably

jumping the gun a bit here, but I went

through a little bit of therapy in, in

my career where I had to, I had to think

back to a moment in my life where I was

first, like, you know, the first part of.

Trauma, you know, and, and I kept

referring back to this incident

and the psychiatrist's like, nah,

way back, way back, way back.

And I, I said, look, ev

my childhood was good.

There's nothing happened.

They went, nah, there's

something happened, which made

you the way you are today.

And um, and funnily enough,

it wasn't the bullying.

The bullying did.

The bullying did.

It did help me like come

fitter faster, stronger.

But there was an incident, we went on

holiday once and we'd, we'd managed

to save up some money to go abroad.

We'd never, we'd never been abroad.

And I was probably about four

or five or something, uh, might

might've even been younger than that.

And we're, we're, we're in the airport.

We're going to a beater, I think.

And, uh, the gate came up, like what gate

we're at, I think it was like gate three.

And actually it was at Gate 33.

My mum and dad had got it wrong.

So all of a sudden, you

know, I'm three years old.

I've got my mum and dad in front

of me, and my sister just legging

it, just running down this, you

know, down the airport away from me.

Now looking at it now, I'm like,

yeah, just run after him or whatever.

But three years old, I was young

and I, and I couldn't, everything

I loved in my life was just running

away from me and I couldn't keep up.

And that installed at such a cognitive

age that installed like a habit to,

to, to be stronger, fitter, faster.

To, to deal with that.

And I think that's what spurred me

on or, or pushed me in the, in the

fitness industry, that along with the

not being capable of doing that at

school because of, 'cause of whatever

reason, I believe that's probably

why I, I am the way I am today.

Speaker 2: Importantly.

Did you make the flight?

Speaker: Yeah, we did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: How was the holiday?

Speaker: Can't remember it.

All I remember was

running after my, after.

That's not the only thing I can remember.

Yeah.

It's probably my earliest

memory, if I'm honest.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Oh, brilliant.

Speaker: Awesome.

But

Speaker 2: yeah.

Yeah.

Hopefully you had a nice, you got any

family pictures from, from the holiday

to look back on and be like, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Funny enough.

So, so growing up I hated Mickey Mouse.

Speaker 2: Yeah,

Speaker: right.

This is where this hate, I hated

Mickey Mouse and I don't know why.

And then my first son, Harry,

I had him when I was 23 and he

used to love, uh, Mickey Mouse

Clubhouse or whatever it was called.

And every time I've put it

on I'd be like, oh my God.

Like I can't stand Mickey Mouse.

And, and there was a picture of us in

the airport that day and my sister was

wearing a, a Mickey Mouse, uh, rucksack.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: So all I could see was

Mickey Mouse running away from me.

So it is mad how it works.

I was speaking to a psychiatrist, finally

went that that would be the reason why

it's cognitive and it's in you, it's fear.

You associate Mickey Mouse now with fear.

And I was like, wow.

Couldn't believe that.

But yeah, we, we have got,

uh, for always of the holiday.

You don't wanna see 'em though?

Speaker 2: No, I do.

Crazy.

You gotta go and find these,

like drop these into the podcast.

We can see a little ginger.

3-year-old Tom.

Yeah.

Cutting them out.

Um, so was your parents any

military, uh, in your direct family?

Speaker: So my dad was in the Fugi leis,

uh, and he went to Gibraltar when they

closed the, they closed the border.

Yeah.

So he used to speak

about that quite a lot.

I also had a, you know, like an

uncle that, it's not really an

uncle, but you call him an uncle.

Yeah.

'cause he's a close family

friend and he was in the Navy.

He was from Hartley Pool.

Uh, he was probably the biggest

influence on me joining the military.

That's probably the reason why

I wanted to join the military.

And then the other guy was why

I wanted to go to the Marines.

And, uh, he joined, he, he

was basically from Hartley po.

It was called Norman Robinson.

And, uh, he, he, he joined the,

uh, HMS war spray in the war.

Uh, I think he was 15 years old,

so he couldn't, he wasn't old

enough to join, but he got the

local vicar to sign his papers so

he could join the, join the Navy.

Speaker 2: No.

Speaker: So he ended up going in at

an early age, or earlier than usual.

Uh, and the stories he used to

tell me just like I, I could

just listen to him all night.

You know, there'd be something on

the telly, but I'd just be sat there

asking him questions about, you

know, what was Singapore like, what

was, you know, what was Malaysia

like, what was South America like?

And,

Speaker 2: and that's one of the

opportunities military gives us, right?

Yeah.

The travel is phenomenal.

Yeah.

And it's free and we're

paid to go and do it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: I think to a little bit

off topic, but guys today and girls

don't, you don't capitalise enough

on, on what's on offer, you know?

Yeah.

Go ski in hundred quid.

Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Where you wanna go?

Go volunteer.

Speaker: Anything?

There's not a qualification

as well at the end.

Live it.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah,

Speaker: yeah.

Speaker 2: Absolutely.

I'm a kayak instructor.

Speaker: Oh, wow.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

A rock climbing instructor, mountain

leader, all of them like, yeah, why not?

Went, went to Germany to get

rock climbing for a a week.

Yeah.

But it's, um, yeah, the

travel is phenomenal.

How did your dad take it when you, you

know, he's actually very proud of, of his

history with a fusel Liz to being like.

Dad, I wanna go to the Royal Marines.

Speaker: Yeah.

So I think my mom and dad

were, were, were quite happy.

'cause I think they, they knew I

wasn't really, I wasn't the mo I,

I was that kid that I was probably

capable of getting a's in everything.

But there had to be a reason,

like what do I need that for?

And, and a perfect example, when I went

to the careers office, told them I wanted

to join the Marines, they said to me,

you need maths and English A to C. Back

then it was A to C GCSEs, like, you know.

Yeah.

And I, the only two GCSEs I came outta

school with was maths and English.

So I knew I could get it.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: But I had, there had to be

like a, which I think, I think there's,

that's quite bad because it, it just

shows lack of discipline in my opinion.

Speaker 2: Or is it, uh, uh, again,

I can agree to an extent, but today

I think we might call it a DHD.

Speaker: Yeah.

It, I, it is.

And, and I found out,

Speaker 2: yeah, there's no end goal

for for what you are trying to do it.

What's the point then?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Don't understand.

Speaker: Yeah.

The, you know, I was, I, I didn't, I

don't normally, uh, a lot of people now,

when you talk about A DHD, the first

thing they say is, oh, this is my son.

He's got a DHD.

And it's like,

Speaker 2: it's not a label.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: It's just a thing you have

that might make you be a certain way and

act a certain way in certain mannerisms.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, but it's not, it's not, I

don't think it should be used as a label.

Speaker: No, I, I agree.

I think I found out in 2023

that I had A-D-H-A-D-H-D and

that was massage with Ranger.

When I was working at Pool,

he asked me to go get a check.

'cause he wanted to, he wanted to know.

And, and I think for

my own benefit as well.

And I was like, yeah, I'll go get a check.

Like I didn't, wasn't really bothered.

But then when they rang me off in

the doc had done an online assessment

and he said, look, you've got a DHD.

It kind of hit me and I thought, well,

hold on a sec. What does this mean now?

Do I need medication?

Do I need to change my

life or my, my habits?

And then the first person I rang,

funny, the old thing was my sister.

And she basically said, well, I could've

told you that when you was for six.

Like, you know what I mean?

She's like,

Speaker 2: yeah,

Speaker: I've got it as well.

Like, we've both got it.

And I think, I think everyone's

got an element of it.

I think this, it's a

Speaker 2: spectrum, right?

It is.

It's not a you've got it or you've not.

It's where we, we all sit on it.

Exactly.

Just some way on that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Some way up.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: But yeah, I think

it's, I think it's healthy.

I think, you know?

Yeah.

It doesn't stop me from doing anything.

Speaker 2: Did it change anything in

your life when you got your diagnosis?

Speaker: It just makes me think

like, should I be acting like this?

It, it just makes me pause a

little bit and go like, you know.

Speaker 2: So it was a, it

was a overall good thing then

if it made, I think so, yeah.

Self-reflection on, on

what you were doing.

Speaker: Yeah.

And I don't medicate either.

Speaker 2: No.

Speaker: So I don't, I, I've thought

about getting the medication.

I think the three year waiting list has

kind of put me off it a little bit, but

Speaker 2: same, it's not, it's not had

any detrimental effect in my life so far.

Maybe finishing, oh, I just

need to take a, a minute to

think about what I'm doing here.

Yeah, yeah.

How that might be

perceived or come across.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: But yeah, it's,

it is not a bad thing.

And it's nice that there's not like

a, oh, I'm a DH, ADHD can't work.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: You what,

Speaker: before that?

Yeah, exactly.

I agree.

Speaker 2: And yeah.

When you went to join, how old

were you when you went to join

the, the Royal Marines then?

Speaker: So, I remember, so

originally, and again, this

comes back to my, my mentor, uh.

I went, I joined the Army.

I went to join the Army.

A lot of people now are gonna

be like, he's a have you

Speaker 2: done?

Speaker: So I went, I

went to join the Army.

I went to join the artillery because

I had another granddaddy who was Royal

Artillery, and he was on the, the beat,

he was in the beach landings at D-Day.

Uh, so I went to, me and my mate, Phil, we

went to, is it Glen Co is it Glen Glencoe?

Speaker 2: Glen

Speaker: Co. Yeah.

Of Scotland to do the Armad.

Is it?

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: So we went and did

that, and we went up there.

I had to come outta school.

I'd take time outta school.

So it must've been 15

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: When I went to do that.

And, uh, we went through all the process

and we went up to, uh, Scotland and

I, and I did all the fitness tests.

And then the bloke in there was

like, mate, you're not going

the, you're gonna the Paris.

So I was like, what?

She's like, you've, you've, you've

come top, you know, top three

of, of all these fitness tests.

You, you've got, you

have to go into Paris.

Because I didn't realise how they did.

It was like the fittest go Paris infantry,

and then the next local, you know,

they get subcategorized and everything.

So I was like, okay.

So I come back away from that

past it, I was half that.

I passed it.

Me and my mate Phil both passed.

He was now still going to the

artillery and I was going to the Paris.

Um, and then it was like, I, I literally

got, I got given everything, I got, given

all my, my joint instructions or given

my, my service number and everything.

And this family friend rang me up

the night before and he was like,

if you go to the Army, you'll go

to Germany, Cyprus, Kenya, Ireland.

Now I don't think this is, you

know, a hundred percent true

back then, it probably was.

But he said, if you go in the

Marines, you'll travel the world.

He said, it's up to you.

So you do what you wanna do.

He said, but tell me now why

you're not joining the Marines.

Why you joining the Army?

I said, I'm not fit enough.

And he went, how many pun can you do?

I said, 20.

He just went, I'm gonna

put the phone down.

I'm gonna let you think about that.

He said, bear in mind, I'm a PT

in the roll rings and I can do 15.

And I was like, he

planted the seed in ahead.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And from that day on, I

was like, and I think, I think that

is, we, we still, and we'll probably

come onto online coaching a bit.

Online coaching or any coaching.

It's not about what you can do, it's

what you can get someone else to do.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And he made me think

without that co that little like.

Conversation.

I'd be in the army now and you

know, I, I probably would've done

exactly the same in the Army as I

would've done to the Marines, but

my dream was to be a, a raw marine.

So he made me achieve my dreams,

and that's what Coach does.

Makes you achieve something that

you thought was never I imaginable.

Yeah.

So, yeah,

Speaker 2: we've fast forwarding,

we're now at Ston on that platform.

Remember it well.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Nice.

How was the, the feeling going there

from being a fat little bully ginger kid?

Yeah.

Speaker: Hideous.

Speaker 2: Wow.

I'm about to like do something.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Pretty damn cool.

Speaker: Yeah.

So you go, obviously you go down

your PRMC, which is now A CPC, so

you, you've already experienced a

platform and everything like that.

And like the, the CPC is like hardest.

You know, all, everything condensed

into like three or four days.

So come away from that CPC, you're

thinking, oh my God, I don't know

if I can do 30 weeks of that.

And it was 30 weeks back then.

I think it's 32 now.

It changes all the time.

It was 36, 34, 32.

But you're always gonna be

around that 30 week mark.

And, uh, you've gotta remember it's

not 30 weeks of that exact day.

You know, you're not doing the

determination test for 30 weeks.

You're doing 30 weeks of commando training

and part of commando training is a

lot, lot of that is lectures and weapon

drills and you know, everything else.

So you do get a lot of downtime.

But yeah, getting off that

platform, 17 years old and I was

just, I got, you got your Iron

Belt island born on new your arm.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You're like getting on

the train and you see all these

people as well, sat on the train.

So you get down to the platform and

you get off the train and you're

looking around and there's loads

of people sat on the train with

island boards and you're like, mate,

Speaker 2: a bit,

Speaker: but you don't know it.

But you're like, are, nah mate, I'm,

I'm staying off, I'm not gonna get off.

And and they stay on the train.

Speaker 2: Oh,

Speaker: what You don't get off.

Yeah, they bottle it.

Yeah, they used to.

I don't if they still do that

and you can identify 'em because

they've got iron boards, you

know, and they're wearing a suit.

Yeah.

And you're like, oh my god.

You know what I mean?

Like you put all this effort in,

why would you bottle it last minute?

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Do

Speaker: you know what I mean?

Uh, and look, doing the job that I do

now, I know that they instantly regret it.

'cause they all message me

now and say I've messed up.

Speaker 2: Glad.

You

Speaker: know what I mean?

But yeah, going down there was, I looked

around a lot of men down there that were

like 24, 25, 28, you know, thirties.

And I'm there at 17 years old and I looked

Speaker 2: for, for the call, correct

me if I'm wrong, but joining really

Youngs, it is a bit more uncommon

than what it is in, in the Army.

Speaker: It was, yeah.

It was there.

There's there's a lot

of younger people now.

Uh, there is a lot more younger people.

I think the optimum age

is probably about 24, 25.

Yeah.

But like, when you join at 17,

nobody really takes you serious.

Uh, but when you join, you

know, we get people joining now.

But I know a friend of mine joined before

he joined, he owned a security company.

So he flew up the ranks

and he joined quite late.

I think he was about 28

or 30 when he joined.

Yeah.

So he flew up the ranks 'cause he was

used to managing people, finances,

you know, logistics, everything.

So, so it, it does favour you a

little bit to join a little bit older.

Yeah.

There's a few people now that message me.

They're like 30, 31.

And they're like, what do you think?

And I'm like, mate, go for it.

Do

Speaker 2: it.

Speaker: Yeah, go for it.

'cause when you hit 33, you'll regret it.

You know, you'll regret never doing

Speaker 2: it.

You lose 100% of the

opportunities you Exactly,

Speaker: yeah.

Speaker 2: And yeah, what worth is,

it's four years of your life and you're

now part of a brotherhood that's Yeah.

That, that is around forever.

And, and it's incredible.

A any, any army, any army, any arm of

the military is, is well worth doing it.

I think we share the same sentiment that

if you definitely, if actually have the

opportunity to join, you should join.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Even if it's for your minimum.

So get in, do it and experience

it, and you'll look back on your

life and be like, I'm so done.

I did

Speaker: a hundred percent.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do it all again.

Speaker 2: How was training for you?

Was it

Speaker: tough?

Yeah, tough.

So for the whole thing, like I,

the, the, and it's still the same

today, the, the one thing that I

prepared for the most was the fizz.

And it was the, the thing

that el least needed.

And I'm not saying that, you

know, commando trend is easy.

It's not.

But you actually, you start to look

forward to fizz because it's like,

it's the only part of the day really

where you just forget about everything.

You know, you, you are on your sport.

Uh, you do an IMF, at least you

military fitness, uh, you, you're

running around, you're climbing ropes.

You, you know, you, you're feeling good.

I've never come out of a fiz session and

gone, oh God, I wish I'd never done that.

I've never done that.

And you know, I'm 41 years old and I've

done fiz pretty much every day in my life.

Yeah.

And I've never regretted doing it.

So why would, you know, when you come off

that you get taught by robbery commandos?

The only, you know, the, the

only downside of it really is

that you're always being watched.

So it's, it's a lot of pressure.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: But for me, commando

training, I was like, I was

adamant that wasn't gonna pass.

I thought I'm just gonna get on the

train and just see where I end up.

Uh, and I, and I was, you know,

I thought fitness would get

me, and he, and he never did.

And then I wasn't the best recruit.

I was quite, I was, ugh.

I just, I just kind of tagged along.

Uh, and I don't regret saying

that I'll be then honest with you.

I was like part of the troop and

there was all these people there

that were like a lot older than me.

And, and they really, you know,

you, you, you just bond immediately.

Everyone's trying to help each other out.

I was probably one off, if

not the fittest in the troop.

And, and I think, well, to say

that's probably, you can't,

you can't really say that.

'cause you've always got somebody who's

first up the rope and that person won't

be first one round the cup circuit.

Yeah.

So there's all these different elements

of fitness, swimming, running, endurance,

you know, if you look at the components

of fitness, they're all tested.

So you, you're never gonna

be top of all of them.

But, uh, yeah, one of the fittest in

the troop really enjoyed the fizz.

But then when I went in the field,

I really struggled with, uh, like

the discipline and, and the, the,

like, not, not really the soldiering.

I enjoyed the soldiering, but

my mind was like elsewhere I

was thinking about so much.

And that's what really, you know,

when, when you think about quitting,

it's that, you know, you're worried

about, you're cold, you're wet, you're

tired, you're hungry, you're fatigued.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And then you've got, you're

getting tested tomorrow on a nex.

Your weapons rust stay all

dirty and you need cleaning.

You kit's wet, you sleepy.

You know, if you, if, if you've

let everything fall on top of your,

that's slowly, then where you go,

listen, for me, I'm, I'm going.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And you end up

failing yourself, you know?

Um, so the tactic I always used

in, in training or tried to use was

prevention was better than cure.

So don't let your bag get, get wet.

Don't let your your weapon get dirty

or rusty or anything like that.

And just make sure everything,

if you've got spare time, yeah.

Make a quick, wet, a quick

cup of tea or whatever.

But also just have a look at your weapon.

Just, just strip it down

and have a look inside it.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Make sure you

are airing your feet.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, and,

and stuff like that.

Just keep it on top of

all the little things.

Speaker 2: I think that's a

brilliant piece of advice.

Well, isn't it?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Prior preparation

prevents piss poor performance.

Well, yeah, yeah.

Isn't it like they, they go

hand in hand, don't they?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Was there anything

during training that you were like,

done, see you later.

Speaker: Yeah, so I got, so I got to week

26 with, with my original troop and, uh.

The week, so week 26 was when you used

to do your ka commando tests and then

you got like a green like rank slide

that you used to wear on the CS 90 fives.

And then you did, uh, field fire

in and final X and then king squad.

So you did, you kind of like pass

your test and then went on final X.

So it was, it was a bit like a false high.

Really?

Yeah.

You didn't get awarded you green bra.

At the end of the 30 mile you got

given a green sash to put on your,

on your, on your, on your slide.

Uh, week 25, you, you went to pool

to do the amphibious landing stuff.

Halfway through that week we

did a beach landing and I hit

my knee on a rock on the beach.

Didn't feel at the time just hit, hit

me li Well I felt it, but like yeah.

Cheers.

Yeah.

And then we carried on going.

We, you got the el the laing crabs

for so long, so you have to keep

going round and practising the

drills while you've got em.

So I was doing that.

Anyway, later on that day, we

got back to the, to the camp

and obviously got dressed, had a

shower, realised I'd cut my knee.

So I cleaned it and thought

it would be all right.

The next day we went back to camp and we

had, uh, the 30 miler, uh, not 30 miler.

So the, a judge course

on the Saturday morning.

This was a Friday, and I could

feel my lee getting like tight.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And like I could hear it creaking

when I moved it anyway, didn't say

anything, just cleaned it, scrubbed it.

Got outta bed on Saturday morning,

my Lee was pretty much locked and

it had like a golf ball on it.

And I was like, oh shit.

So it was, it was infected.

My mate was like, mate,

you need to go sick bay.

I was like, nah, no chance

Im gonna do the insurance.

He said, mate, you're gonna fail

the insurance course and then

you'll down as a fail, and then you

won't be able to do any other test.

So it works.

If you fail one, you can carry on,

but if you fail, the next one you

have to get, you get back to it.

So I went to S Bay, I thought Right.

What'll do is hopefully

they can clean this out.

Yeah.

I'll, I'll not do the endurance

course, then I'll do my nine

miler, the taza and the 30 miler.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And then I'll, I'll,

I'll come back and do that.

Anyway, sick mate.

Just pulled me straight out.

They were like, nah, it's

infected you getting back troops.

So week 26 for me was like, I felt like

I'd just been, I'd just been told to go.

Oh

Speaker 2: yeah.

Did it feel like you were a failure?

Like I've, I've got all this

weigh in and I'm, I'm now

Speaker: Yeah.

It was like I never went, I didn't

even know what an, an original was.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, I didn't, when

before I went to CTCI didn't care.

I just, I went from a Greek lid.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: But then you meet these lads

who become like your brothers, your best

mates, and then all of a sudden you get

taken away from them after 26 weeks.

Yeah.

And I was like, through something

as well that I, like, before my

judge course I'd done three or

four run throughs, passed them all.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

So I knew it's not like you were

being backed for being a shit cu or

Speaker: Yeah,

Speaker 2: yeah.

Having any issues or anything.

It was a genuine, I've had an accident.

Yeah.

And I've got an injury, which is,

and that's, that's what Hunter

Troupe believe it's called.

Speaker: Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: It is there

for a reason, isn't it?

It's like, you, you are, you, it's okay.

You've been injured, we're gonna

get you fit and then we're gonna go.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: But how is that to like,

deal with psychologically, like,

Speaker: horrific?

Speaker 2: It's like, oh

Speaker: yeah,

Speaker 2: the whole world's

Speaker: done.

So, so, so I think the worst thing

for me was I got, took out the troop,

the lads went and did the drugs.

Course you are now sat in the

accommodation on your own, and

then the lads come back and they're

all like, you have past, have

past, and you're buzzing for 'em.

You, you're happy for 'em.

Of course you are.

But you, you're kinda like,

like, what, where am I now?

Where do I go from there?

And I suppose this is where the

unselfishness comes into the core values.

You know, you've, you've got to,

you, you've got to, you've gotta

like, you know, just kind of park

that, that feeling and just move on.

And the worst part of it for me was like

going, joining or going into another

building of people that I didn't know.

And I was like.

When I would go away, uh, meet new

people and try to try to rebuild

those, those bonds, you know.

Speaker 2: How long were

you back troops for?

Speaker: Two weeks.

Literally two weeks.

He clean the knee out and

I joined the next troop.

So I went to see the south

major that the, of Portsmouth

company, one of the companies.

And I literally looked on the door and I

think he could sense by my body language.

I think I was like, like honestly

just like didn't wanna be there.

He'd obviously read all my reports and

everything, and my reports were like

physically fit, but you know, tactically

unaware, like, you know what I mean?

Because, you know, I was still learning.

You don't do soldier at school

here, you know what I mean?

Um, so, so I, I spoke to him and I just

said, look sir, I said I I just wanna

get out there as quick as possible.

Now if you say that to Port to Hunter

company, that's music to their race.

'cause you, you've got people

in there that they're not as

resilient as other people.

If they've got a little knock on

their shoulder or the, their ankle,

knee, whatever, they're like, oh, you

two weeks in Hunter or, or whatever.

And you know, they'll play on

those injuries a little bit.

Uh,

Speaker 2: they must use it

as a little bit of respite

Speaker: a little bit.

Yeah.

I, I don't like to say that, but

I've worked in Hunter as an ri

I speak to the physios, I speak

to the, the training teams.

We all know it happens.

I wouldn't recommend that I, I,

my recommendation for CTCs get

out there as quick as possible.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Get in, get

it done, get out there.

Because the longer you, it's like a

diving board, you know, when you go

to the edge and you go, you hesitate.

Once you hesitate it, it takes you so, so

much longer to take that step, you know?

So that fear of, oh, I don't wanna join

that training team because their PT

i's a bit of a, a bit of a Hitler or

Speaker 2: Yeah,

Speaker: I don't wanna join that because

it's, it's, it's still raining outside

and I want to get in there and get it

done because you're gonna be exposed to

all this when you're a Marine anyway,

so you, you have to just suck it up.

Yeah.

Uh, so yeah, so that, that for me

was probably one of the hardest bits.

Uh, but when I told that to the South mate

was like, providing sick bay happy, we'll

get you out of air in the next troop.

Speaker 2: Love it.

Brilliant.

Speaker: Yeah.

So, so that was it.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: And then

that, that was your done.

Yeah.

Didn't get back squatted again?

Speaker: No, no.

Speaker 2: That was, it didn't

fall over and hurt your knee.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

All good.

Speaker 2: Get boo boo.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: How was it when you

finally got awarded your green lead?

Speaker: Oh, mate.

Yeah.

Uh, like still now, like

hairs have just gone up.

Uh, that was everything for me.

'cause I, so I was in Marine

Cadets when I was in, this is the

80 HC now I go back and forth.

I never, it's never a straight line.

It's always like, uh, so I, I think

that 'cause it could help you.

I was at Stop Pot Sea Cadets, which

had a marine cadet detachment.

I, it was brilliant 'cause it got

me used to being away from hole.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Got me used to

feel like soldiering.

I knew what an SA 80 T was.

I knew what a poncho was, a bivy

bag and knew what core history was.

But, but also you was around people

who were either failed marines or

didn't have the bottle to do it.

Yeah.

So they try and like the, the atmosphere

that was built there was like, oh,

you're never gonna make it in Marines.

Marines are like these people

that eat that just exist or

you'll never be one of them.

Almost like Avengers.

Like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: So in the back of my mind there

was that like, am I gonna make this?

Am I gonna do it?

You know, it was almost, and then,

then when you turn up at CTC,

there was people there who didn't

even know what the breeds were.

They just thought it was part of the army.

They didn't have a clue

what the 30 mile was.

So you're like, you sat there

with this boy, you going, oh mate,

what you think about the 30 miler?

He is like, what's that?

What's the 30 miler?

That's somewhere

Speaker 2: I drive.

Speaker: So I don't know what the

best attitude needs to have that,

that fear of knowing what's coming up.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Or the fear.

It's like when you, when you're

running and you know, you

don't know how long's left.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Do you just

keep running or, I dunno.

I think there's, it's probably

a double edged sword, but yeah.

So for me to achieve that, knowing what,

how much I'd been through with like,

joining the army or going to join the Army

and training and, you know, everything

else, like the, the setbacks with the,

with the, with the infected knee, it was

like a massive release of like dopamine.

And, you know, I, I just felt like, yeah,

it felt like I, I, I didn't believe it.

You know, I, my mom and dad came

down, I had loads of family come

down from pass out and to get

that Green Beret, I was like, wow.

Like, and it still feels hard to me now.

So I couldn't understand these

people that, that passed out

and just did like three, four

years and then just went outside.

I was like, did not mean anything to you.

Like, I like that that berry and that

cat badge is, means more to me than,

you know, buy my family anything.

And, and I don't understand why

people don't see the same values.

I share the same values.

Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: Uh, so yeah, I think, I

think as well, sorry to, I think it's

knowing what people have sacrificed

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: For me to wear that

Barry, so many people have,

have, have gone before us.

We're the lucky ones that are left

and we have to set the standards

and the values to make sure that

that can continues and, and remains.

I think that's, for me,

that's the, the main thing

Speaker 2: that's, it's quite

refreshing to hear no disrespect to

anyone else, but I think some of the

rural Marines do really, really well.

Is the standard.

Is a standard.

Yeah.

We don't care if you are black,

white, pink, yellow man, whatever

you be, whatever you want to be on

the outside, but the standards are

the standards and if you can pass

the standards and you're one of us.

Speaker: Yeah,

Speaker 2: a

Speaker: hundred percent.

Speaker 2: And, and the standards

are not changed for anyone.

And the standards have

remained the standards

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: For forever.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

Agreed.

Like we, we don't, you know, when, when

I get given 60 for fresh recruits, I

don't see, I don't identify colour.

I don't identify gender 60 people.

And when they pass out, they're marines.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: That is it.

Yeah.

I don't care if the man, woman, black,

white, Catholic, Jewish, I don't care.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You are.

You wanna be part of my club,

show me what you can do.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Or our club, then

show us what you can do.

And if you're good enough, you're in.

Yeah.

Look, I don't ask.

Speaker 2: Love

Speaker: it.

I'm not bothered about, you know, and I

think that at the moment we're, we're,

we're getting wrapped up in a lot.

I'm not gonna get political and I'm not

gonna talk about it, or I will, you know.

We're getting so wrapped up in

who could join, who can't join.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

And it

Speaker: just winds me up

Speaker 2: trying to be like, I mean

the RF had it, um, one or two years ago

where it was, if you're a white male,

your applications are closed because

we need to increase our diversity.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like, why don't we just

recruit the best people for the job?

Yeah.

The same as someone comes to work for us.

You could be male, female,

whatever colour you want.

If you are the best person at your

job, you can come and work with us.

Not for us.

With us.

And it's the same, it should

be the same everywhere in life.

Yeah.

But people are so fixated on

Oh, but I might look really bad.

Like no one that's like a

real person actually cares.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Like what you identify

as a unicorn for you one.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: Like shameless plug.

We've

Speaker: got a few of them as well.

Actually

Speaker 2: it's seven.

Love it.

I don't wanna know what

you guys get up to.

You're worse than us.

You are.

Yeah.

So we've now got, um, we

you've passed that training.

We're done.

Yeah.

Um, and looking at some

tours that you've done.

The first one I believe

was, uh, Sierra Leone.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: So that was

early two thousands.

Speaker: Yeah, 2006.

So it wasn't operate well,

so it got called Op Villa.

So we went out there with 40 commando.

Uh, this was my first exposure

to the jungle and I absolutely

fell in love with it.

Like everything around you,

you're like, it was just like.

Yeah, it's like something

I've never experienced before.

Uh, and we went out there because

obviously four years prior were, was,

uh, the, the, the conflict out there.

So we went out there just to provide

just as a bit of a safety net.

Should the elections kick off again.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And there was, there was

corruption between the police and the,

the, the army and, and then the pe.

So you had the police, the army,

and the people, and they're all, you

know, they're all after something

like, you know, they're all scratching

each other's back or whatever.

So we went out there and, and

went to a place called Camp

Hastings where I was, uh,

it was, it was only out there

for about, it was about eight

weeks or something like that.

Uh, nothing kicked off.

Uh, so, so it turned into an exercise

and we did, we did an exercise out there.

And then, but working with the

Sierra Leon, only people, you know,

you're walking around the street.

What struck my eye was like,

how easy, like the, the, the

divide between right and wrong.

You was, you know, he was walking down

the street and he was either looking at

fighting age males carrying machetes, or

he was looking at like fighting age males

in pristine white clothing going to work.

You know, there was

nothing like in the middle.

And, and you'd look at like, that

made me realise about education and

how much we take it for granted.

In, in, in, in our country.

We was doing a patrol one morning and

we was walking through a village and,

and there was a young lad, probably

about 12, and he's come out of this

like shelter, which is his hope, and

he, it, it's literally like made a

clay and Wrigley tin and, and he's

got this white shirt on, which is

like whiter than any of my shirts.

And I'm thinking, how's he wash that?

Like what, he wears that every day to

school and the amount of like, respect

and uh, sort of energy they put into and

effort into going to school and education.

They don't take that for granted.

They, they take that as like a,

a privilege, you know, and that,

that really struck me out there.

Speaker 2: And it's, and we do, don't

we, we take education for granted.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

It's, and you know, it's very easy to,

to slate the schools in the way things

are over here, but we've got, we've

got it pretty damn good to people.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

We know that if you have a, if you

have kids, they're gonna go to school

and, you know, minus extremities,

like they're gonna have a good

education and the opportunities

that they have are, are endless.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Whereas you've got

other countries where it's

like you get to go to school.

Wow.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: And it, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

There's a lot of, I mean, I'm speaking

to a lot of people now that they're

lot sending the kids to school anymore.

They're doing home education

and I think, alright, I get it.

I get you.

You're looking out for your child's

education and wellbeing or future, but

you're taking about that social network.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And they can't, we are

finding people now joining the

Marines, they just can't communicate.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, 50% of

communication is body language.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And they're just stood there

like just, you know, looking at you,

Speaker 2: the shell of a person.

Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: There's nothing about them.

Speaker: It's, yeah.

It's, it's, it's not good.

I think you need that, you know, you

need to be playing football at lunchtime

jumpers for goal pokes, and you need

to be chasing people and interacting

and talking to girls, talking to lads.

You, you lead that.

Otherwise, you, you can't

read someone, you know?

But that, that's my opinion.

Eh?

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Like it, Tom Merriman

says homeschooling should be banned.

Oh no, no.

Can't take it.

But yeah, it's a brilliant thing.

You, you can have your own, you

can have your own opinion on

something and you, you're not gonna

be hung, drawn and quarter for it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Someone's got the right to, to

disagree with you or agree with you.

It's, you know, God bless our country.

Um, not labour.

Um, door, let's carried on.

We've then gone to an early Herrick.

Speaker: Yeah.

Herrick seven.

Yeah.

Harrick seven.

Yeah, Herrick seven.

That was, uh, when was that?

Two?

Well, 2007.

2007, 2008. So I'd just

gotten with my wife Louise.

And uh.

Yeah, she was pregnant before I went.

So I had that going on at home, thinking

about that in, in the background.

Uh, which was a joint decision.

We both, we both wanted, we both

wanted that look cards on the table.

I didn't think I was coming back now,

I was telling the tele on every day,

Eric five, like another Marines died.

Another Marines died.

And this is the way I think about things.

You know, I love my wife to bit, uh, she

was my girlfriend then and, and I thought

I'm the, I'm the only Berryman male.

This isn't like the end of our bloodline.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And, uh, I've got all

this going from my head and

I'm like, I'm not going back.

So I need to like, you know,

so we, we had a child before,

uh, obviously Lou was pregnant.

Uh, I went to Afghan.

I had all that going on at home, but

didn't, you know, concentrate on the job.

Speaker 2: Yeah,

Speaker: I had a really good tour.

Took, well, thank God.

Uh, we lost, we lost three,

which was, you know, terrible.

Mark Radd was on there as well.

So, so he was at F Rob.

Uh, when, when obviously he,

he had his, uh, incident.

There was a lot of IDs, a lot of blasts.

Uh, there was a lot of,

we saw a lot of stuff.

But, uh, I, I was quite fortunate in the

sense that I was moving around a lot.

So I was part of Seals t part of Mor.

I was Morrie, signaler Motors are

obviously set up at unit at, at fobs.

They don't need a signaler

'cause they've got Signaller.

So I just got shifted into Seals tack.

So I was moving around doing

like, you know, miscellaneous

jobs and we went to like Ang in

fob, Rob, fob Jaba, uh, mug West.

So did quite a lot of stuff.

Uh, and then obviously like came

back to Bastion, went out, came back

to Bastion, went out sort of stuff.

So it was good for me that I was

talking to lads with like out there

six months straight or well turning

into eight months out or, and they

were just stuck at like Inman or

Kaja or S whatever for eight months.

Solid.

And they were like going insane.

By the end of it.

They were like, I need

to get over it, you know?

But, but yeah.

Good tour.

Really enjoyed it.

Really lucky, really fortunate to,

to be here to, to, to talk about it.

Uh, yeah.

Speaker 2: And were any

of them your friends?

The three?

Speaker: No.

So, uh.

Jt, uh, took the, I took

the, took the contact report

for JT when he got blown up.

Uh, and then Dave, Dave Marsh as well.

I think he was in the same, I

think he was in the same one.

Uh, so I was fortunate enough not to,

uh, not to, not to be the same, or not to

be there when, you know, that happened.

But taking the contact report in the ops

room was like, fucking hell, no, it's

not, it's not a nice place to be, but you

put yourself there, you know what I mean?

We put ourselves exactly

where, where we are today.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, and, and

that's, that was part of the job.

Uh, I'd say like when

we went on the ground.

So it was a few times when we went on

the ground and, you know, you're at

the gate, the fob gate, you're waiting

for it to open and you're prepped.

And before, before you go out the gate,

you've done, you know, psychologically

you've done orders, you've done rock

drills, you've done, you know, briefs,

you've, you've wrecked the ground, you've

studied the ground, you know what's

happened there before and everything else.

So you've mentally prepared

yourself for what's about to happen.

And I think that is the reason why I,

well, I haven't, I haven't suffered from

anything that happened in Afghanistan.

And I think that's because I've mentally

prepared myself, but the things that

I have suffered from are from things

that have just happened like that.

And, and I like the contact,

taking the contact reports.

It still, it's still

in the back of my head.

And I, and it's like, it's not nice.

It doesn't affect me, but it upsets me.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

It's not nice to, to, to take

that contact report or listen

to someone panicking on the net.

You losing the friend

trying to save the friend.

That's not nice.

Uh, that upsets me that someone

else is going through that pain.

Not me.

I really care about me.

But that person, that individual, you

wanna do everything you can for you mate.

And you, you, you know,

you're in an locked room like,

ah, mate, we need men now.

And the med's like, yeah, can we just

like mate or you, he's like, I lead my

details, so you need to get these details.

And they're like, yeah, alright, fine.

You are panicking.

And they're like, say up,

give the details, you know?

Yeah.

Uh, so yeah, it's, it

was, it was a tough time.

Uh, but we got through anyway.

Yeah.

We did.

We were lucky.

Speaker 2: Uh, and again, this is where

I think you can relate to the standards.

The standards are the standards and the

honour, our friends that, that aren't

here, don't they, it is, you know,

you're doing it injustice to them.

If you were to lower your standards.

And that's why, you know, so many

guys, we, we did save, um, as like

the coalition forces because of

the discipline we carry through.

But it's, this tour was overall good.

You weren't affected mentally

or physically yourself.

Um, and you're here to tell your

story and to remember, remember

those guys that didn't make it home?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: This wasn't your only

tour, you still had another bit there.

Don't think we can touch on too much,

but you've been fortunate enough

to do some stuff with Paul as well.

Speaker: Yeah, it wasn't, I wouldn't

call it at tour, it was, I deployed

with, uh, a lot later on in my career,

like pool, uh, deployed as an asset.

I wasn't badged, I was never

special forces or anything.

Normally when you talk about, you know,

feeling everything, everyone's like, oh,

you've bad, you know, and I wasn't, uh,

I always put that straight out there.

As soon as I say that, I'm, you know,

uh, I was there as an enabler just

to have a look at what they do on

the ground and, you know, uh, try

and fix it or try and not fix it,

but, uh, like prepare it better.

So there was a lot of soft tissue,

a lot of lads coming back from

deployments with soft tissue injuries.

Uh, so I, as an s and c coach and a rehab

instructor and, you know, I I, I went

to see if we could design something or

programme prior to them going out just

to make, put 'em in a better position

that, you know, spending a lot of time

sat in vehicles like this with body,

body kit on plate carriers, helmets.

And so the necks are

going, the backs are going.

Yeah.

You know, they're getting outta

the cars at the end of the day

and the, they're stiffening up.

So it's just a case of keeping 'em mobile,

keeping 'em on the ground and yeah.

You know, that was it

really, but it wasn't.

But to see how they operate

was that opened my eyes.

Yeah.

It like the assets that

they've got and Yeah.

And things like that.

And I won't, I won't talk about anything,

uh, 'cause I, well, I can't and, and

two, it'd be unfair 'cause it's not

my, it's not my the main, but to see

like the way they welcomed us in as,

as enablers and, and to watch them do

their job and how professional they were.

You know, if, if, if soldier is what

you, what you wanna do at, have a

look at that as an end game because

it's, it's quite unique what, what

these guys do on a daily basis.

Like, you know,

Speaker 2: in between these two

tours between Herrick and doing your

bits with Paul, you had a accident.

Speaker: Yeah, I did.

Yeah, it, well, it was, uh, I'll, I'll

start getting a bit, uh, like I, I'll

struggle to get, I struggle to get this

out a little bit when I talk about it.

'cause I'd start to relive it a

little bit, so apologise now if

it, if it, I go all over the place.

But it was, uh, so it was

actually before Afghan.

Uh, and, and again, this probably,

uh, brings me back to like not

preparing for what's about to happen.

So, like I said, when you're in

Afghan, you are alert all the time.

Even if you're on Baine or

Canda High, you know, the big.

You know, uh, the big camps,

you, you, you are waiting for

an a PG strike or you know, you,

there's always something going on.

You're always, you're always

thinking, you are always preparing.

And when you go to the fobs and the

outposts, you're, you're even more alert.

So you are your sensor, your

sensors are always heightened.

On this day, I, mine weren't, uh,

and I kind of dropped my guard and

I think that's what really affected

me, uh, later on in, in my life.

So we was, uh, we was on PDT

pre-deployment training for Afghan.

And, uh, like I say, I

was motor troop signal.

I was in a bv, uh, like a

Viking band and vehicle.

Uh, and I was in the front

left hand seat driving it.

The boss was in the, in the front.

Sorry, I was in the front left.

Yeah, left.

He was in the front right.

Uh, and the vehicle just broke down.

It just, it was hot day, it was in June.

Uh, it just, you know, those vehicles,

I dunno if you use 'em in the army, bvs,

but they're notorious for breaking down.

They're designed for Norway.

Yeah.

We use 'em in like summer

on Soulbury plane and stuff.

So, so I was, I was

driving, I was driving.

It broke down.

We called for help.

So we had to wait for the VMs to come.

The VMs came within about an hour

or something, fix the tow bar.

They told us back to come

as the towed us back.

We we're going up this big hill

and like, they're not powerful.

They're not designed to, to really

be like, you know, endurance vehicles

and it's chugging up his hill.

And I remember been sat in the

back and saying to the boss like, I

don't think we're gonna make this.

And, uh, we made a few jokes about it.

Anyway, we got over the brow on a

hill and he kept the accelerator on.

And, uh, we, we kind of catapulted

over the top, you know, like when

you go up on a, on a, on a, on a

fairground ride and you feel that thud.

And we, we went, it was a fixed

line, so we weren't gonna hit,

we weren't ever gonna fit, you

know, a a hit the back of the bv.

And then we started sneaking

and it was clear that he'd lost

control of his vehicle as well.

So we're coming down and you know what

solds be like, it's just full of hills and

gravel tracks and, and we're coming down.

And then the bo I remember the boss

saying, I'm sure he said something

like, if he hits the brakes we're

fucked and then this fucking red

light just come on in front of me.

And I was like, why?

If he hadn't said that, I wouldn't.

Yeah.

You know, I wouldn't have fought anything.

And uh, and then we started skidding

then, and then he obviously knew

what he was talking about, boss.

And uh, and then we start

skinning and then we went over.

He, he, he come off the track.

I think he, he must've gone onto the

grass to try and get some purchase.

'cause we're just sliding

down this gravel track.

And we went over the grass and there's

a grass verge and, and he's gone over.

All right.

And then as we've come over, we've kind of

took a bounce and then we've gone up and

we, we've started to rotate on my side.

So we're coming over and it's

all this slow motion now.

Uh, then just, just get

getting rolled over.

We did a full 360 and then as

we went over again, the bus got

thrown out and then I, it landed.

So I was like down there and like

the bv, like I don't bv you've got

like a gearbox here, you, you, you

in, and then you like, yeah, it's

pretty much similar to this seat.

To be fair.

You head, you've got no head protection.

And uh, the gearbox is

all on top of me now.

And I was like literally in this

foetal position, grinding to a hal.

And, uh, I was still breathing, but it

was literally like, I couldn't, I couldn't

expand my chest, so I was like literally

just getting little gasps of oxygen, eh,

and I looked up and I could see the vm.

He'd got out of the, he'd got out

the front and he, I, I saw him

look under, and his, his facial

expression just told me everything.

I thought either the legs come

off or something, I don't know.

Something's happened.

And then the boss come over.

Fair play of the boss.

He just, we could have

been on fire or anything.

He just fucking darted straight

underneath, crawled underneath, grabbed my

hand and he's just, ah, did wake up, wake

up and he's like, smacking me in the face.

Like, J just stay awake.

Stay awake.

And I could, I was drifting in and out.

I was like, a hundred percent.

That bloke saved my

life a hundred percent.

Uh, ah, I was just, I was out of it.

Uh, yeah, so, so he was talking to me, the

VMs on the phone calling nine, nine nine.

And, 'cause he was on a training

area, the ambulances were getting

to all the gates, but they were all

locked so they couldn't get the gates

open for the ambulance to come in.

So then they dispatched the helo.

So the helo iss on his way now.

And then, uh, the first thing that got

to me was like, uh, after 20 minutes

was, uh, like one of the estate cars.

So the doctor, he come out, he put

some ma oxygen mask over there and

put some morphine in me straight away.

And then he's talking to me, taking

all my vitals and everything.

And I'm like, I can, I can, like I

say, you know, when you are in these

sort of situations, your sensors get

heightened, hear and smell everything.

And then this fire engine turns off

and they started, they're having

a discussion about getting me out

and they're talking to the VM and

they're like, that's, that's battery.

That's fuel.

You can't go in through the back.

They put a jack underneath at

first start, winching it up.

'cause it, they made out fibreglass, so

it was just cutting straight through the

vehicle and dropping it even more on me.

So they had to, they had

to stop that immediately.

And then, uh, they, they found a way

they had to go through the batteries.

In the end it's like, we can't

cut the fuel, we have to go

through the acid, so, but there's

gonna be battery acid everywhere.

So they, they went through the,

the batteries, uh, and then they

managed to, after it was about 90

minutes, I was under there for, they,

they, they managed to get me out.

And I remember it's just release

pressure and like sunlight in my eyes.

I was like, felt like being

born, you know what I mean?

I was like, couldn't open my eyes,

couldn't see anyone, couldn't

even tell you who was there.

You know, David Beckham could've

been there for all I knew.

I, I didn't, I didn't have a clue

who was there or what was going on.

And all, all this time they'd

been giving me morphine.

And uh, and I remember this helicopter

and he put me on this helicopter.

I got some more morphine and

then lights out was, was gone.

Don't remember anything after that.

Uh, I remember the, I got

the props on the helicopter.

Uh, I think the, the light.

A light, literally they

handed me over on the runway.

I can remember, I can remember a doc.

They were giving two briefs

and then that was it.

I was gone.

And, uh, I woke up in the hospital with

a padre, stood over me saying prayers.

And it's like.

I've not seen it for a while, but

for a good 10, 15 years afterwards.

10 years, yeah, about 10 years.

I could see this padre in my sleep.

Like I'd wake up and I'd see this vision.

So that, that had a massive effect on me.

Uh.

Think the biggest, the biggest takeback

from that was how, how cheap life was.

It had been taken like that I,

I was gone and then after that

I started adopting bad habits.

I was drinking, I was smoking,

I was not doing phase.

I was, I was not doing, I was not

working, you know what I mean?

I was, I was just a bit

of a dick to be around.

Uh,

' Speaker 2: cause there were

coping mechanisms right?

After what?

Speaker: Yeah, I think so.

Yeah.

I think, I think subconsciously there

was pain and I couldn't feel the pain.

I couldn't see the pain, I couldn't feel

it, but I was, I was kind of being someone

who I wasn't, you know, that, that person

who was determined to get his green

lane and determined to get his maths in

English and determined to kind of gone

kind of thought, what's all this for?

Do you know what I mean?

What, why are we even here?

What's the point?

I, I don't know.

I honestly don't know what what was

going through my head at the time.

Uh, and then I went to Afghan after

that and, and I'll be honest, I

didn't think about once in Afghan.

I didn't have time to, I was too

busy thinking about, thinking

about the operation and everything.

It didn't affect me at all in Afghan.

But then when I came back and I had

time to think that's what he got me,

you know, when it's like you're not

getting up in the morning, you're not

doing truth fair, you're not, you're not.

Speaker 2: What was the pivotal

moment when, because evidently

you've turned that around completely.

What was the point where you're

like, this isn't, this isn't okay.

I'm not okay, I need to,

I need to do something.

Speaker: 8th of March, 2020.

But, uh, so it was a long time after,

it was times in between where I'd been

to get help and to speak to people.

Uh, and I tried different things, but

on the 8th of March, 2020 was the day

where I just like, this has to stop.

Jamie Sanderson, a Ladu owns, is a

former sniper and he owns Rock to

Recovery, the Mental Love charity.

I dunno if you're familiar with

Rock Recovery, brilliant Charity.

And he, I remember he said to me,

without change, there'll be no change.

And he was 100% right.

If you keep waking up in the morning

thinking that you're gonna, it could be

anything, like you lose weight, you know,

I'll lose, I'll start my diet tomorrow.

I, I, I'll stop smoking tomorrow or

I'll, I'll be healthier tomorrow.

It's never gonna come.

Tomorrow will never be it.

Yeah.

'cause you're already in today, so it has

to be, now you have to change it now that,

along with Sam Sharif from reorg, uh,

who I was kind of inspired by him because

he was like, he would, he was like the

first Marine that I met who didn't drink.

Yeah.

And I was like, you are a fucking weirdo.

Why are you not drinking?

Like, and, uh, I think the

question I should have been

asking was, why am I drinking?

Like, yeah.

You know?

'cause there's a big, there's a

famous saying, not just in the

Marines, in the military, in

life, if you can't drink, don't.

And I couldn't drink.

I used to love it.

I used to love going out and socialise.

I'm a very sociable person.

I love being around people.

But you don't need to

drink to be around people.

You know, you don't need to drink beer

or, or alcohol to be around people.

It's the person that, that you know, that

you want to talk to, not the alcohol.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: I'm not the pissed person,

you know, so I, I think that kind

of inspired me to go, well, if

he can do it, then I can do it.

You know?

And like he's inspired so

many people with BJJ and, and

everything else that he's done.

He inspired me to, to give up drinking.

And it's the best decision I ever made.

Speaker 2: Does Sam know this?

Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

He won't take it.

He's very humble.

Speaker 2: He is.

Speaker: But uh, he

just kind of like, yeah.

Uh, have you seen that over there?

Yeah.

It just change the subject immediately.

So yeah, he's, uh, yeah, he knows

it and he knows, he knows what work

he's done and how he's helped people.

Speaker 2: At this point in your

career, by the eighth for March,

2020, were you already a PTI?

Speaker: Yeah.

I was PTI was I a sergeant?

I don't think I was a sergeant.

No.

I was a PTI, so I passed.

So that's quite an important

thing to mention as well.

Actually, I think I,

I got my PTIs, I achieved

that in June, 2008.

In 2008 or 2009, I should know this.

I'll get the OG in because I've

obviously forgotten what day I badged.

Uh, so it was June, 2000

and I think it was nine.

Uh.

And I was 23 years old.

I'd, I'd died, I'd had a

kid, I'd gotten married.

I had achieved everything I

wanted to achieve in life.

So that, from that, the next

day was the first day I woke up.

I didn't have an agenda.

I had no purpose.

I had nothing to live for.

I was like, well, I to live

for, but I had no to-do list.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

And

Speaker: that I is, is, I

think it's really important.

We, we speak about, we speak

about that and mental health

because, you know, you dream.

I speak to these, these young lads and

ladies now who want to be role marines and

I'm like, just make sure there's a plan B.

Just make sure you know where

you want to go when you pass out.

You know, what do you wanna do?

I just wanna get a green lid.

That's, you'll get a green lid.

If you put the effort

in, you will get one.

But what, for what reason?

If it's just so you can put it on

Facebook or it's just so you can

make your dad proud or whatever.

You do it for someone

else, it's not gonna work.

Yeah.

You have to want it.

And then there has to be

a So what for what reason?

Like what's next?

Ml, PTI, dl, you know, sf, what is it?

And, and that I think is important.

'cause a lot of people they pass out in

the wrong reads and they think that's it.

You've just opened the gates.

Speaker 2: But that, that's

where it starts, isn't it?

You've done, you've done the most

basic of basics to be a soldier.

Same as in the Army and I remember

of, so, um, Tom Fisher's name was, and

it was, uh, now your career starts.

Yeah.

And it really is, isn't it?

Speaker: It it, yeah.

I won't, I wouldn't say

it's the most basic.

It, it, it's obviously

a lot harder than most.

Speaker 2: Yes.

Speaker: So you, you, but so

there is a sense of achievement.

Like you, you can join, uh, you can join

some forces and, and, and I, I think

you should join the army in the navy,

the REF and still feel achievement.

There's not, there's no superior,

you know, it's a lot harder.

It is a lot harder.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Look, what I'm trying

to say is, look, we are an elite

force along with the powers.

We're an elite force and people

recognise us as elite force.

Yeah.

But you can still, if, if, if

joining the Navy is what you wanna

do or joining the, the army is

what you want to do, that's fine.

That's, that's what is your goal be?

You don't try and be a Marine because

someone else wants you to be a breed.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You have to know what you want

and you have to, you have to get that.

'cause no one else can be you.

Yeah.

I have to be Tom Merriman.

'cause no one else will be Tom Merriman.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: So understand what you want

and why you want it, and then go.

Speaker 2: Absolutely.

Speaker: And, and, and I think a

lot of people don't work this out

until halfway through commando

training or on the CPC course or

maybe even when they've passed out.

Like, uh, what doing this, oh, I've

Speaker 2: done this.

Yeah.

I think I better touch one when I say

the most basic of basics, so I don't get

slated for saying raw marine trends easy.

By that I meant like as a

raw marine, your initial.

Um, 30 odd weeks.

That's the most basic that

your career's gonna get.

The same as an RAF pilot

who's going doing that for

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: Right At the start of your

career, that's the most basic your career

is going to be for your chosen job.

I

Speaker: thought I'd highlight

Speaker 2: that just

Speaker: so

Speaker 2: I, shit.

Speaker: Yeah,

Speaker 2: no,

Speaker: I'll, I love you

Speaker 2: before I get absolutely roasted

and me MeMed out of, across social media.

Yeah.

Speaker: But no, I, I get you,

you, you've literally, you've,

you've just put your foot in the

water, but you're in the water.

So now we need to start swimming, you

know, and we need to like, what's next?

What's next, what's next?

And, and that, I think a classic

example I always use is Tyson Fury.

When you look at Tyson Fiori,

what he achieved, how he achieved

it, he told everyone he was

gonna be the world champion.

Everyone laughed at him.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And he was like, right.

That's fuel to my fire.

Yeah.

And he went out and he did it for every

single day he woke up knowing that

the goal was to be world champion.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And then he

went out and he got it.

Then after that, mental health kicked in

because he had nothing to wake up for.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: And he's a classic example

along with many others to go,

well, I need to fill my calendar.

'cause if I'm not filling my calendar,

there's no, there's no purpose.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Have you got a golfer when

evidently at some point

Speaker: leave

Speaker 2: your career?

Will we finished?

You can't stay in forever.

Speaker: Yeah.

There's, there's stuff,

there's stuff going on.

There's, there's people who are looking

out for me, uh, and, and have asked

me to, to do some work with them.

Uh, one of them, I will mention him

because he's, he, again, he's been

another real big influence in my life.

So, Nick Olive, former core,

I said he's created a company

with our Weldon called Ethos.

And they've, they've asked me to be a

part of that, which I felt an absolute

privilege to, to be a part of it,

because I'm surrounded by good people

that just wanna achieve good things.

And it's not financially

driven, it's habit driven.

Trying to, trying to create good

habits and create good people and,

and, and teach, you know, good

behaviours, which is what I enjoy.

You know, the stuff I do online is free.

I'm not motivated by money.

I'm not, I never have been.

I, I, I respect money.

I understand it's there.

I think one of the, you know, when

I talk about my mom and dad always

creating good habits, one of the

main habits that we lived on when

we were younger is that some people

are so poor, all they have is money.

I think Bob Marley said it, and it, and

it's, it's a very, very true saying.

I, I, I speak to quite a lot of people.

I, I, I run a mental health

organisation, uh, and it's, uh.

It helps people that are struggling

with, with purpose of being in stuff.

Some of those people are millionaires.

A lot of those people are millionaires.

And you know, mental health

doesn't recognise money.

It doesn't recognise rank.

If you're having it, you're

fucking having it, you know?

And, and, and, and I think it's important

you understand that people just think

you, you either, the question all the

time you won the, if you won the lottery,

what would you, what would you do?

And still be Tom.

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.

You

Speaker: know, I'm not gonna turn it

to Superman overnight or anything.

Like

Speaker 2: what, what would happen?

Like I might buy some nice

things and I'll, I'll carry

on, wake up and do what I do.

Yeah.

Today I'll just get to enjoy

some things that I might not

have been previously able to do.

But it's, yeah, it is.

I don't wanna say it's the root

of all evil, but people think

money will make you happy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It'll make you comfortable.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Won't make you happy.

Yeah.

Who you are, the people

you associate with.

That's what, what makes, especially

me, that's what makes me happy.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: People I get

to associate with and do.

Um, how long have you

been in the core for now?

Speaker: 24 years.

Speaker 2: Sorry.

Not a short stint.

Speaker: No, no.

Speaker 2: How long have

you got left, do you know?

Speaker: So I leave, I'm due

to leave in November 20, 27.

Uh, so, you know, it, it's,

I'm ready, I'm ready to leave.

But it, it works for me.

The core works for me and, and I think,

you know, there's a lot of people.

I've had a stayed in Stockport

and I live in Miff now, so

literally, you know, I'm like,

Speaker 2: it's ideal for work.

Speaker: Yeah.

10 minutes from CTC well, five minutes,

uh, 40 minutes from 40, uh, an hour

from the Plymouth basis or just over.

Uh, so it, it works, you know, the

Southwest, I, even when I was at Pool,

I was commuting to pool and back.

Um, so I've got no reason.

I still enjoy the core.

I still, I'll always speak highly

of the core and I remember there's

a lot of people leaving now saying,

oh, it's not what it used to be.

And it's not, the core's

not what it used to be.

It's 24 years older.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, no one's, what they

used to be 24 years later and low organ,

low organisation is, I dare if you look

at Apple and Google and everything else

24 years ago are completely different.

Yep.

But I can remember when I, when I joined

40, uh, I was about three years into my

career and I was, I was doing my journey

routine and I bumped into Al Lad in the

gym and he was doing his leaving routine.

He was leaving the court and he

said, oh, you just joined us.

I was like, yeah, yeah.

He said, oh, I'm leaving the court.

I'll leave tomorrow.

He said, good luck with your career, mate.

He said, this is shit.

It's not what it used to be.

Now he was thinking that 24 years

ago, and I've just had 24 years

of the best years of my life.

And so I guarantee anyone joining

tomorrow will feel exactly the same.

And you know, there's a saying that we

have, there's no, there's no such thing

as a shit run show, just shit runners.

And it's, it's exactly that.

You can go to a camp and you

can think it's rubbish, but it's

the people you're surrounded by.

That's the core to me.

It's the people I meet,

the mates and the memories.

So no, it doesn't matter when you join the

brothers and sisters and stuff like there.

Speaker 2: Gonna change

our course that we're here.

So evidently you're not.

And I have to say this about being rude.

Speaker: So yeah.

Speaker 2: When you were growing

up social media and phones and

technology, this wasn't a thing.

Like when you went to school you

probably went and like a horse

and cart and had a chalkboard.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Because you're that old.

How does someone that's growing

up without this technology and a

lot of people see your face and be

like, oh, this is the commando PTI.

Yeah.

From from social media, how did

that come about and how, you know,

you've done very, very well with it

from a, you know, and I, including

myself, I didn't grow with technology.

We didn't have phones at school.

Yeah, yeah.

Mobile phones weren't a thing.

And now it's, it's there.

It's all that I'm sat here

with my iPad, like Yeah.

How to use it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: But,

Speaker: um,

Speaker 2: how did it come about?

Speaker: So, first of all, I take

no credit for the commando PTI.

Alright.

I created it.

I've probably been a little bit ary there.

Um, it, it's, it's basically

giving the candidates what

they want and what they need.

They need 100% correct content.

That's what they want.

That's what, that's what we

need to give them cost free.

Uh, we, I worked out, we, we, we was

after, when I came to CTC, I was supposed

to be transitioning out the Marine.

I left pool, done three years at pool.

I came to CTC and like anything, as

soon as I come to an environment,

I try to, I kind of just,

you know, dive in head first.

And I looked at the environment and I

was looking at these CPC candidates.

And I think there was one particular

like c candidate preparation

course where we had 60 join.

Now a lot of them will fail 'cause

of medical 'cause you have to do

your medical there and there, I

think we lost about 15 on medical.

And then by the end of it were

finished with nine, nine candidates.

And uh, being the boss and the other

PTI, we sat down at the time, we

were like, we need to change this.

So instead of speaking to the successful

candidates, I called in all the failures.

And I was like, right, what are you doing?

How are you preparing for this?

And they're reeling out all these online

culture and I'm like, God, right, what?

Show me what you're doing.

And it was, it was clear that, you know,

they weren't, it's like I said before,

coaching's about coaching is a small town

in Hungary, you know, it designed cart.

And those cats were designed

to take people from where they

are to where they wanna be.

It's not about what I can do.

It's not about how good I

look 'cause I don't look good.

It's not about how big I am.

It's not about how much I know.

It's about what I can get you to do.

And if I can get you to achieve

your dreams, I've passed.

I'm a coach.

I'm getting you from where

you are to where you wanna be.

And that's, that was the aim of the PTI.

And that's always been

the aim of the Corona PG.

It's not about me.

Very few of the videos have me in it.

It's normally my voice over the top.

'cause one 'cause I

don't like being filmed.

And two, because they need to see

what's going on in the bottom field

in the gym, on the endurance course.

They need to see that.

They don't need to see me climbing

a rope or doing pullups or anything

if I'm demonstrating an exercise.

Alright, that's fair enough.

But that was the purpose of it.

And that's what we tried to initiate, I

think the social media side of it, that's

thanks to my 18-year-old son, I think.

So I was getting up in the morning, I

was going to work and my son is now 18.

That was a Ladu, that's Harry The

Ladu we had before went to Afghan.

He's getting up in the morning.

He sat at the table and he's there with

his phone out and he's like, doing this.

And I'm like, right.

Stop.

Whatcha doing?

He's like, oh, I'm just

getting rid of that.

He's on TikTok or Instagram or whatever.

He's like, why are you getting

rid of that music shit?

Right.

Okay.

What, what makes you, you know, so,

so I, I might put video out there

and put like Oasis on it, which

are cool at the moment, but they

weren't, you know, before Live 25.

Yeah.

You know, stone Roses, it was a

Stone Roses, the Rolling Stones,

Bruce Springsteen, you know, all

these musical gods that I look up to.

And I put out there a 15, 16, 17

year old's gonna be like, boring.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: So I then observed

him and I said, right, why are

you moving that on too long?

Video's too long, music's rubbish.

Doesn't come on to his feed 'cause

the hashtags aren't correct.

So he taught me everything I kind

of learned about social media

subconsciously without telling me.

I'm just watching it.

And I'm like, why is he listening to that?

And I'd start using the music off

that track and everything else.

And, and also we, we were, we were quite

fortunate to have some good media guys

around us, uh, who captured the, the, the

content and stuff like that at the moment.

The Kaman.

PTI is a bit of a grey

area with the raw Marines.

I don't know where it's going.

I don't if it'll carry on going.

I don't know.

It's, it's, it's doing a job.

It's influenced and inspired thousands.

It's recruited, attracted and prepared.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Thousands.

And it's also saved lives for free.

Say again?

For free?

For free.

Free for free.

So I did, um, I've gotta add,

so I created a school account.

Yeah.

Because one, we didn't have a

school account, so I thought, right.

We need to get on that platform as well.

And it was a, a monthly fee of, I can't

remember how much they were charging me.

So I basically pointed to school,

can we, can we do it free?

I ba I emailed school and

said, can we do it free?

And they were like, no,

it has to be subscribed.

So I said, right, what's the, the

minimum cost I could do this for?

So they were like $10 a month, which at

the end of it, I think it ends up about

six pound and 54 or something like that.

So that money has gone into, it's

definitely not generating income or

generating profit because the amount of

money that I pay for contracts, insurance

folds, you know, adverts and everything

else, it doesn't even touch aside.

So, but there's, there's been a few

conversations where they're like, well

you, you're getting paid for that.

I'm not getting paid for that.

That's in an account.

It's ready to go to a charity

whenever I click the board.

But it's covering the monthly

costs subscriptions as well.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: So, so that's, that

was the reasoning behind that.

And then obviously, you know, there,

there's the, uh, Instagram account

and Facebook and everything on it.

So all that's free.

Yeah, free programming as well.

Speaker 2: Awesome.

See a lot sharing a lot of stuff from

guys that are Oh star, thank you so much.

I've gone CPC, I've smashed, I've

done that, like I said, from before

where you were, what, three outta 60?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: You've got through to then.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: What, where are you at today?

If you were to take a course through CPC?

How, what out those 60, how many

do you reckon would, would pass,

be able to get through to trade?

Speaker: So, so again, the

medical, the medical's a big one.

Uh, 'cause you can turn up down

there and, and, and not know that

you're gonna fail on medical.

And it's not their fault really.

So we lose about, I'd

probably say 20% medical.

Uh, you're gonna lose at

least 12, 15 on medical, maybe

sometimes less, sometimes more.

And then a lot of, a lot of

the candidates of V dub it, uh.

We're probably finishing

at the moment with a bow.

Anything from 10 to 20

out in the, out in the 50.

But as, as well, the courses

aren't as full as it used to be.

Uh, and it's a tough one

as well at the moment.

'cause this time of year we have OSCs

going through and stuff like that.

So some of the, some of the courses are

split with officers and, and candidates.

Um, but yeah, a lot of the people

are just not, I don't know.

I, I don't know why they're not,

they're not preparing, they're not

thinking about what they're joining.

Uh.

You know, not everyone can be a Marine.

We have to understand that.

Uh, just 'cause we can drive a car

doesn't mean we can go and compete against

Lewis Ham on a, on a, on a racetrack.

You know, you've gotta, you've gotta

understand what you're capable of.

You've gotta put the effort in.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

And the whole world should

work with that attitude.

Like Yeah.

Just gonna hurt your feelings.

Yeah.

And that's okay.

Yeah.

You know, you're allowed

to have your feelings hurt.

If you're not good enough to do something,

you're not good enough to do it.

Yeah.

And it's as simple as that.

Like, sorry, that's, that's

what the standards are.

The standards, right?

Speaker: Yeah.

I think, I think for me, I always talk

about this whenever I speak to people.

Like there's, we'll have conversations

in the office and they'll go on for days

and they're like, what, what is going on?

What is going on?

And, and 10 years from now,

the same, the same team will be

having the same conversation.

But for me, I think everything

changed when, when we, when we

brought in that everyone wins a

medal at sports day at school.

'cause from that day onwards,

we weren't accepting failure.

Failure's a big part of life.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Every day you fail.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know?

And, and you have to understand when you

failed, how you failed, why you failed,

and how are you gonna overcome that?

Otherwise you don't grow.

That's growth.

You know, when you go to the

gym, you, you, you damage tissue

that then repairs and it grows.

That's failure.

The tissue's failed.

It's damaged.

Yeah.

And then it, and then

it repairs and grows.

And that's what we're doing as humans.

You know, you're never

the finished product.

You can always learn

something from someone.

I learn so much from the candidates,

you know, as I said, the wrong reads.

I probably shouldn't be

saying that, but I do.

I learn how to speak to them.

I learn how to engage with 'em.

I learn what's going through their head.

How do I shape my

content to, to suit them?

Not to suit them, but to, to attract

them or to, to get them to engage more.

Speaker 2: And saying, you shouldn't,

as a Sergeant Marines think that,

that you absolutely should be.

And that shows good leadership.

You're not there.

Like, that would be a boss.

You follow me?

You do what I say.

I know best.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: But a leader, you

know, you can take, well do it.

Take advice for anyone else.

Yeah, absolutely.

I think it's brilliant

that you can say things

Speaker: about, one of the, again,

looking at that, I spoke to Sam

about this actually the other day.

The first, like, the first act of teaching

of coaching that we ever go through.

One of is learning how to walk.

You know, we, we learn to

walk before we can talk.

And we do that by watching.

We watch our parents and we sit

there and we'll watch and we're

like, well, I've got two of them.

Maybe I can do that.

You don't go to school, sit in a row

and go, right, these are your legs.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You're gonna put

this one forward, then you're

gonna put this one forward.

You learn by observing

it's learned behaviour.

And this is something that, that gets

lost a little bit, I think in society

today is our kids cognitive age,

you know, three to 11, a scientist

they'll argue and probably know, but

it's roughly around that sort of age.

We absorb so much from our parents.

Little things like, you know, behaviour

manners, road rage, you know, shouting

at a TV when the football's on.

Yeah.

All that sort of stuff.

It all transfers into life.

We forget that sometimes I forget it.

I do it.

I shout on the TV every

time I'm a Mal United fan.

So I've been shouting at the TV since

20, for a while, since 2013, mate.

Yeah.

But you know, it, it's, it's, and

we're gonna get it wrong, but we, we

have to understand that, you know,

we have to, we have to get it right.

We have to do our best, you know.

Speaker 2: Brilliant.

I'm gonna selfishly now ask

you about combat fuel, but

Speaker: yeah, let's do

Speaker 2: it.

And, and just for anyone watching what's

Speaker: combat fuel?

Speaker 2: Um,

Speaker: I, joking.

It's

Speaker 2: just a thing.

It's not my protein, but not shit.

Speaker: Okay.

Then,

Speaker 2: um, just, just for

anyone to watching this is like,

Speaker: yeah.

Speaker 2: Your personal opinion.

This is nothing to do with

the ENS or anything like that.

This is just products that you use and

why you would use them for yourself.

So Yeah.

Think we've got a few of them out there.

Yeah.

Things that you, you use.

Um, do you wanna talk us through them?

Speaker: So the protein of the

creatine is, is like, I've got

creatine in my, in my water bottle now.

I think creatine is

like, uh, unbelievable.

And, and I think the research came

out recently that it can be stored

in the, in the mind, in the brain.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Yeah.

Really good for cognitive performance.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Delaying early onset dementia.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Fantastic product.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah.

So, so, so creatine and,

and the, and the protein.

I, I, I love, uh, the zeta MAs, the,

the, the, the joint, the joint capsules.

I found 'em really useful, really helpful.

But, um.

I had to come off in because

I was, I was, was just taking

too many, you know what I mean?

I was, I was doing too much of it and

I was like forgetting 'em as well.

I wasn't disciplined so I wasn't

getting up in the morning taking

all my capsules and stuff like that.

Yeah.

Um, so I found it, I found it quite,

when you've got a DHD, you wake up last

minute and you've like bang, bang, bang

out the door and you shit, shit got them.

So, but what I will say is that my

13-year-old son who loves the gym,

loves rugby, loves anything fitness.

He's got the, he takes

his NMAs now before bed.

And he said to me the other day,

can you get some one of those NMAs

because I find I sleep so well.

He said like, like, and it's

interesting that he says that because

like I think I'm so, uh, hyperactive.

Caffeine doesn't have an effect

on me anymore 'cause I'm just

constantly operating in the red

and I know that's unhealthy.

I need to, I need to, you

know, bring that down.

Uh, it's, it's something

I need to work on.

But for him to say that, 'cause he's

a, you know, natural 30-year-old boy

and feels that there enemy's working.

Yeah.

I think he's proof that these, these

supplements are, are top quality

and, and do what they say on the tin.

But the protein of the creative

for me, I can't get enough.

So I've only got truck outside

and wait till Rob the factory.

When you turn, I might shout

help of getting a minute and

Speaker 2: That's right.

Leah's here.

Leah beat you up.

Yeah.

Leah actually runs combat through.

I'm just like the pretty face of it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: She does everything that's

like important and she, you know, you

talked about your son being social media.

Yeah.

I'm not saying Leah's really young 'cause

she's like not that much younger than me.

Yeah.

She stood here like frowning her.

Yeah,

Speaker: yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: But you know, like you

need to do more of your social media.

I'm like, I don't,

Speaker: yeah.

Yeah.

Speaker 2: And that helped us grow like

massively through social media, you know,

like so many cogs to combat from now.

And it's,

Speaker: I think that's, that's

where we, men are quite lazy.

Uh, we, we just see what's in front of

us and I think that's where, you know,

getting back to, well, not getting back to

you 'cause we've not spoke about females.

That's where females will become really

useful I think in the Royal Marines.

Yeah.

Is that product productivity?

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: They're very, you know, I

said having this conversation the

other day, a female in business is

very good at thinking about the future.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: Planning the prep.

Yeah.

You know, the organ, have you got this?

Have you got that?

If we go to the beach.

I'll have my trunks and

a towel, you know, take

Speaker 2: trunks.

Speaker: Yeah.

Budgie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

All the time.

Um, MIIS is the one who will, who

will pack the sun cream and Yeah.

And, and the, you know, the, the,

the picnic and she'll think about

the, the, the wraparound we get

Speaker 2: there.

I do wanna get there.

Yeah.

Speaker: We're like, we we're burn.

Like, you know, we have,

you know, everything else.

So, so she, you, I think we, that

is, it's interesting you say that

about the business because females

in business are, are very, yeah.

Speaker 2: I think on females, again,

it sounds like really sexy, doesn't it?

Females, but because you're

married to one, how have you

stayed married for so long?

Because mil military relationships,

Speaker: my wife asks that every day.

Speaker 2: And it's, it's, it's

not an easy thing though, right?

It's tough.

Yeah.

The demands of the military, it is huge.

Monumental.

And, and yeah, divorce

is extremely common.

Yeah.

And people are serving, uh, yeah, normal.

Whatever you're on, like your second

or third wife because it, it is

so hard, but you, it still happily

married many, many years later.

How, what, what's your takeaway

from, from keeping a happy marriage?

Speaker: I think, first

of all, I'm married.

I'm married to someone who I love.

You know, Lou was like a mate

of mine before we got together.

So I think that helps massively.

And you do grow apart.

You change, you know, and, and there's

things, we've had so many arguments, so

many, uh, you know, so much disruption.

She persevered, we're both from

Manchester, so, or Greater Manchester.

She said, look, just seeing you

on a Saturday and going over on

a Sundays, it's not gonna work.

We need to sort this out.

You either leave or we

look at like, moving.

So I said, well, why

don't you come down south?

Like, you know, come down,

look at the Southwest.

So she came down and her, her

actual words to me when we moved

down there into the married quarter

was, I'll give this two weeks.

So I was like, oh, here we go.

Do you know what I mean?

I've already, I've already

like, got the pressure applied.

Um, but then fortunately one of

the first people that she met was

from the, the same town as her,

uh, another lady called Kirsty.

And, and them, she just

became really good mates.

And I think that's, that helps is,

is your friends your friendship?

Pick the right friendship circle,

you know, don't, don't pick the lad

set and go to the pub every night.

And, and, you know, going like, I've

been offered so many trips, like at,

uh, exercise operations, loads of stuff.

I think what you've gotta

remember and, and, and I think,

you know, call me what you want.

I've been in now 24 years,

I've done every unit.

I've done ship draughts,

overseas draughts.

I've done operational tours.

I've done five jungle canopies.

I've done a jws, I've,

I've done everything.

A lot of people haven't.

And all that's, once I've been

married with kids, every decision I've

made has gone through her as well.

And there will be times where she'll

go, well, I'm not happy with that.

And I'll, and it'll be in the

back of my mind, but I'll be

like, right, I've got that.

But they're paying our wage.

They're paying for us

to live this lifestyle.

Yeah.

The Marines are, you know, I've

never gone in, I've never been one of

those blokes who knocks on the South

Majors door and says, I'm going there

because my wife isn't happy with this.

Or, I'm going there because it'll look

good on my CV and I wanna get promoted.

Yeah.

I've knocked on that door and I've said,

gimme three options every single time.

And, and, and it's probably had,

it's probably affected my career.

'cause I'm obviously still a sergeant.

I've probably affected my career, my

family's probably affected my career,

but I believe in the call with my family.

So yeah.

I'm not a W one or an officer

commissioned, but I'm a happy sergeant

who will leave happy and with my

family and everyone who I love and

my mates, and I've not a hope, I

don't think I've pissed anyone off.

That means something to me.

I've probably pissed a

lot of people off, but

Speaker 2: I think it's a

brilliant way of doing it.

And you think you're leaving with your

family that are gonna be the first thing

off, and you, you, you're potentially

not even halfway through your life.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: You know, at 41 you've possibly

got like another maybe 60 years left to go

and you had a full crew in the military.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: He's like, oh, I, I'd do it.

Fuck.

Speaker: Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

It's like that, that nodding it.

Who knows what he's doing

and the one who does that.

Like, what, what's better?

Speaker 2: Yeah.

I'd love to know my end date.

Yeah, I'd love to know it

and work back from that.

Yeah.

I, I, yeah.

If I had one wish, that would be it.

Speaker: That was, that was one lesson

I got learned when, when I was at Pool,

I was working with a W one at Pool.

I won't mention his name 'cause of obvious

reasons, but he, one thing he said to

me, and again, he was so inspirational,

uh, was, if you knew what day you'd

die, how would you change your life?

And, and we worked in a department where,

quite a good job actually, at Pool,

we were working with lads that were

broken physically, mentally, medically.

But they, they didn't wanna admit it

because they, they didn't wanna get

taken out the squadrons because they knew

they'd just get replaced immediately.

But if he stayed in there, there, there

were just a problem to the squadron.

So the, one of the first questions

he'd ask him, and this bloke had

been, he'd done everything, he was on

pretty much every picture in the mess.

You know, every, not one person

walked around, camper went,

oh yeah, he's a bit a dick.

Everyone had so much respect for him.

And, and he said one of the first

questions was, if you, you know,

if you knew what day you'd die,

how would you change your life?

And it's such a deep question

that, because why are we

not, we're all gonna die.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: We're all going.

So why are we not doing that anyway?

Why are we not being happy and

speaking to someone yesterday, oh,

I've not been promoted again, I've

not done this, I've not done that.

What we doing here?

Why am I here?

I'm just like, you've put yourself here.

I put myself exactly where I am today.

Yeah.

And I'll answer any question, you

know, to, to, as to why I'm there.

And I think that's,

you've got all you've got.

You've gotta own that, you know, just

be you and, and deal with a situation.

And I think a lot of

people struggle with that.

Speaker 2: Before we draw to an end

there, Tom, can we get a bit of advice?

Let's go with your younger you.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker 2: Fat ginger kid at school.

What are you telling to him?

Speaker: Strap in.

It's gonna get fucking rocky.

But we're going, I don't, I don't think,

I don't wanna know the future.

I don't want to know the fu I don't,

I don't like Mystic Meg was sat over

there now I'd be going that way.

I don't care.

I'll, I'll, you know, I'll write my path.

I'll write my chapters.

Speaker 2: Not the end point.

Is it That matters, the

Speaker: journey that

Speaker 2: No,

Speaker: that's how you get there.

And it's, and that's the same with

the, you know, everybody wants that

magic pill or that magic programme to

get them through commando training.

Just suck it up, strap in and just

embrace a journey and enjoy it.

'cause I hated commando training

when I was going through it.

But now when I think, look back at

it, I laugh and I speak to lads in my

tr we've got a little WhatsApp group

and we talk about things that we'd

done, where we'd been and everything.

And we're like, we laugh about it.

Do you remember that time

when we got thrashed for that?

Yeah.

And it just brings us smile to your face.

Yeah.

'cause you, you got through it.

It's adversity.

Speaker 2: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, and, and

getting through it with a group

of friends just creates that bond.

It's pointless just getting to the

end without, without a journey.

You know what I mean?

Speaker 2: A piece of advice

for um, someone getting ready.

I might join the Royal Marines

at, I dunno if it's for me.

I might, what if I fail?

People don't wanna look at me.

What's the piece of advice for them?

Speaker: What if you win?

Like yeah, you might fail, you

might come top of the course.

Stop, stop listening to other people.

Be you.

You have to be you.

You have to go off instinct.

You have to listen to people who influence

you and people who mean something to you.

Not people who you've never met before.

Speaker 2: Brilliant.

Speaker: Go over it.

Speaker 2: Thank you so much for

Speaker: boys,

Speaker 2: the journey coming down

here for your time and for being

a good friend to us and the brand.

And thank you for your service.

Speaker: Thank you.

Cheers mate.

Thank you.