<v Speaker 1>People want the benefits of a relationship without having the

<v Speaker 1>capacity required to maintain one. They want the affection. They

<v Speaker 1>want the you-know-what. But when it's time to plan, communicate, sacrifice, prioritize, repair,

<v Speaker 1>and consistently show up, suddenly they're overwhelmed. And that's not

<v Speaker 1>necessarily a chemistry problem. It is a capacity problem. Hey, babe.

<v Speaker 1>It's Aisha. Christina. Nice to meet you. This is quality

<v Speaker 1>queen control. What? is happening. Hello, angels. Welcome back. Welcome

<v Speaker 1>to the channel. Hopefully, you are subscribed here on the

<v Speaker 1>Quality Queen Control Podcast channel. Hello, hi. I'm your host,

<v Speaker 1>Aisha Christina Foster. Very happy that you're spending some time

<v Speaker 1>with me. I have a juicy episode that we're going

<v Speaker 1>to be talking about today, which is chemistry versus compatibility,

<v Speaker 1>as well as capacity, okay? These are the fundamentals of

<v Speaker 1>of building a solid foundation in a relationship and things

<v Speaker 1>that you guys should be looking out for when you

<v Speaker 1>are pursuing a relationship or being pursued in a relationship,

<v Speaker 1>let me be clear. So with that being said, make

<v Speaker 1>sure that you give this podcast a five-star rating. If

<v Speaker 1>you are listening to it, make sure that you like, comment,

<v Speaker 1>hype the video when you see the video. So if

<v Speaker 1>you like the video, you'll automatically get a prompt to

<v Speaker 1>hype the video. So I want you guys to hype

<v Speaker 1>this video so that we can promote it, it gets

<v Speaker 1>pushed out, and then we can grow the channel because

<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to grow this channel bigger than the Asia

<v Speaker 1>Christina channel, okay? That has what, over 200,000 followers? This

<v Speaker 1>we're gonna take to a million. Okay, period. With that

<v Speaker 1>being said, let's get started. So chemistry makes you want

<v Speaker 1>each other, but compatibility determines whether or not you work together.

<v Speaker 1>Capacity is gonna determine whether you can actually sustain in

<v Speaker 1>a relationship. So you can have two out of the

<v Speaker 1>three and still have a relationship that does not work.

<v Speaker 1>So this is a clear sign and an indication that

<v Speaker 1>you have chemistry, but can they actually be in a relationship?

<v Speaker 1>Can that person be in a relationship? So starting with

<v Speaker 1>number one, chemistry. Do we feel something? Chemistry is attraction,

<v Speaker 1>it's excitement, it's the sexual tension, it's the intrigue, it's

<v Speaker 1>the banter, it's the butterflies, it's the emotional intensity, that

<v Speaker 1>feeling of, I really like this person. And chemistry, it matters, right?

<v Speaker 1>We don't have to pretend that attraction is just superficial, hello, hi. However,

<v Speaker 1>chemistry is going to tell you almost nothing about whether

<v Speaker 1>someone will make a good partner. You can have incredibly

<v Speaker 1>chemistry with somebody who communicates terribly. You can have chemistry

<v Speaker 1>with someone who has completely different values than you, who

<v Speaker 1>doesn't even want what it is that you want. You

<v Speaker 1>can have chemistry with someone who is emotionally unavailable. A

<v Speaker 1>lot of you guys are familiar with that. You can

<v Speaker 1>have chemistry with someone who is not consistent. You can

<v Speaker 1>have chemistry with someone who has no room in their

<v Speaker 1>life for a relationship. So chemistry is going to tell you, well,

<v Speaker 1>I want you, but it doesn't tell you whether or

<v Speaker 1>not you should choose that person. So anxiety sometimes can

<v Speaker 1>masquerade itself as chemistry, right? The hot and cold person

<v Speaker 1>can feel very intoxicating because you're constantly waiting for that

<v Speaker 1>next hit of attention to Meanwhile, the emotionally safe person

<v Speaker 1>can feel less dramatic. And that doesn't necessarily mean that

<v Speaker 1>the chemistry is bad. It just means that the intensity

<v Speaker 1>isn't automatically intimacy. Now, pause for a second. I think

<v Speaker 1>it's important to note this because if there's one thing

<v Speaker 1>that I have realized in adulthood is that you can

<v Speaker 1>have chemistry and you will have chemistry with a lot

<v Speaker 1>of people. Yeah, babe. Isn't it so fascinating how you

<v Speaker 1>can be intimate, okay? If you're picking up what I'm

<v Speaker 1>laying down, keeping it very PG here, you can be

<v Speaker 1>intimate with so many people in your life or just

<v Speaker 1>different people, let's just say in your life. And can

<v Speaker 1>you imagine how many of those people you're actually compatible with? Well,

<v Speaker 1>look around you right now. You're probably not with any

<v Speaker 1>of them, okay? Some people you are clearly with maybe

<v Speaker 1>one of those people. But the thing is, it's slim pickings, right? Like,

<v Speaker 1>you don't know until when you look back in hindsight,

<v Speaker 1>I should say, you realize, oh my gosh, all this

<v Speaker 1>chemistry I thought I had with this person, we confuse

<v Speaker 1>the true meaning of what chemistry actually dictates so often.

<v Speaker 1>It's really, really problematic. Because you cannot just go based

<v Speaker 1>off of the chemistry. You will have chemistry, aka a

<v Speaker 1>lot of the times it's really that actual tension that

<v Speaker 1>you're feeling and you're confusing that with emotional stability. You're

<v Speaker 1>confusing that with, oh, I think this person really likes

<v Speaker 1>me or I think I really like this person. But

<v Speaker 1>look how many people in your life, if you truly

<v Speaker 1>sit back and examine the amount of people in your

<v Speaker 1>life that you may have been with in that way

<v Speaker 1>and only to discover, how little you have in common

<v Speaker 1>with that person. I'll take it a step further and

<v Speaker 1>this may sting. Think about how many people have had

<v Speaker 1>children only then to discover that after having a child

<v Speaker 1>with that man, that all of a sudden they don't

<v Speaker 1>get along. It's like the kid was the final determining

<v Speaker 1>factor of, oh, wait a second, I just realized that

<v Speaker 1>we are extremely incompatible. How does that work? And this

<v Speaker 1>is really just a call to wake up and pay

<v Speaker 1>attention to what is going on in your body. I

<v Speaker 1>know that... You know, in the Bible, it says the

<v Speaker 1>spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Your flesh

<v Speaker 1>is weak. So you're taking little moment to moment things

<v Speaker 1>and you're dictating your entire life based off of a

<v Speaker 1>moment to moment sort of thing. And then there are

<v Speaker 1>consequences that are going to follow. In addition to that,

<v Speaker 1>you're now realizing you're incompatible with someone after you created

<v Speaker 1>a whole life with them. Hello? That's a major, major sign.

<v Speaker 1>So I want to drive that point home because I

<v Speaker 1>really want it to be drilled in you guys to

<v Speaker 1>understand that at the end of the day, it means

<v Speaker 1>almost nothing because you will have chemistry with a lot

<v Speaker 1>of people. And most of the time, Chemistry is almost inevitable, right?

<v Speaker 1>You feel it or you don't. And let me tell

<v Speaker 1>you something. I know a thing or two about that. And,

<v Speaker 1>you know, I learned this, you know, what I've discovered

<v Speaker 1>about myself is I know that they say that, you know,

<v Speaker 1>people can grow on you. I want to also say this.

<v Speaker 1>There is a chance, I think, for women that men

<v Speaker 1>can grow on them. I'm not one of those people,

<v Speaker 1>by the way. However, for men, there's no such thing

<v Speaker 1>as a woman growing on a man. You either have

<v Speaker 1>something he immediately wants or you simply do not. That's it.

<v Speaker 1>Men take you as you are. Okay. Not the potential. Oh,

<v Speaker 1>she would look really good if she just lost 50 pounds.

<v Speaker 1>You know, women are really into the DIY arts and

<v Speaker 1>crafts projects for Michaels. Men are not into that. Okay.

<v Speaker 1>They want the final release product. Okay. They want the

<v Speaker 1>album on the shelves. All right. And that's what they're purchasing.

<v Speaker 1>They're not sitting here trying to go back and forth

<v Speaker 1>with trying to figure out what's going to make you

<v Speaker 1>look better. No, that's not how they approach it whatsoever.

<v Speaker 1>So next is compatibility. Could we actually build a life together?

<v Speaker 1>This is where dating becomes less sexy, but much more important.

<v Speaker 1>You can genuinely adore somebody and still be incompatible, all right?

<v Speaker 1>Compatibility includes things like your values. What do you believe

<v Speaker 1>about marriage, about faith, about family, about fidelity, money, gender roles,

<v Speaker 1>children and lifestyle. All right. Also your relationship expectations. How

<v Speaker 1>much quality time do you need? What does a partnership

<v Speaker 1>look like? How do you expect conflict to be handled?

<v Speaker 1>These things matter. Then there's also your lifestyle. One person

<v Speaker 1>wants to live in Manhattan and travel and have an

<v Speaker 1>ambitious career. The other person wants a quiet suburban life

<v Speaker 1>and a spouse who's home every evening. Neither person has

<v Speaker 1>to be wrong, but they're just trying to build two

<v Speaker 1>different lives, all right? And this is really, really a

<v Speaker 1>key factor here is realizing that it's not necessarily about

<v Speaker 1>villainizing someone. It's really having the realization that you can

<v Speaker 1>just your styles and the things that you desire are

<v Speaker 1>just different. So fundamentally, it can feel on one hand

<v Speaker 1>like you're being ignored and all these different things, but

<v Speaker 1>really at baseline, babe, it is just incompatibility rearing its

<v Speaker 1>ugly head, right? Next, there's also communication. Can you actually

<v Speaker 1>resolve disagreements together? You don't want to be with someone

<v Speaker 1>that's going to be walking away every single time the

<v Speaker 1>going gets tough. He's ghosting you for three days at

<v Speaker 1>a time because he doesn't want to hear it. He

<v Speaker 1>doesn't have time for the drama. And anytime a man

<v Speaker 1>is just shutting down like that, it's because he doesn't

<v Speaker 1>value or respect what you have to say to give

<v Speaker 1>you the floor. A man that truly wants to work

<v Speaker 1>things out with you is not going to make you

<v Speaker 1>feel less than or be condescending. He wants to problem solve.

<v Speaker 1>That is what men do at baseline is they problem solve.

<v Speaker 1>So they want to be able to work out a

<v Speaker 1>solution with you because they care about you and they

<v Speaker 1>genuinely do want to be with you. Also, future vision.

<v Speaker 1>Are you moving in the same direction? Do you have

<v Speaker 1>the same outlook on life? This is huge. And I

<v Speaker 1>would say that compatibility isn't about having necessarily everything in common,

<v Speaker 1>but it's about whether the things that you don't have

<v Speaker 1>in common can peacefully coexist because he doesn't necessarily need

<v Speaker 1>to like your music. I feel like he does though.

<v Speaker 1>You don't necessarily need to have identical hobbies, but if

<v Speaker 1>one person wants children and the other one does not,

<v Speaker 1>that's not a cute difference, right? If one person believes

<v Speaker 1>that marriage should look one way and the other person

<v Speaker 1>fundamentally disagrees, that's also different. And this is where I

<v Speaker 1>feel like as women, we sometimes make the mistake of thinking, well,

<v Speaker 1>we love each other. But love does not automatically solve incompatibility, babe.

<v Speaker 1>And like I said, it's when you start having those kids, right?

<v Speaker 1>Especially outside of wedlock. This is just the cold, hard truth.

<v Speaker 1>You all of a sudden realize that not only are

<v Speaker 1>you not protected at all by law, right? If you

<v Speaker 1>were to move smart, okay? Think about what it is

<v Speaker 1>that I'm saying. But you now are stuck with being

<v Speaker 1>someone's baby mother, right? And now you see his true colors.

<v Speaker 1>Now all of a sudden he's losing interest. He's not

<v Speaker 1>there for you. He doesn't really want to be involved.

<v Speaker 1>You're feeling alone. Now you have to raise your child alone.

<v Speaker 1>But we have to take radical accountability for what we

<v Speaker 1>are doing with our bodies because we have the power

<v Speaker 1>over our bodies. And that is the end all be

<v Speaker 1>all about it. So we should not have to act

<v Speaker 1>on consequence doing damage to our bodies in various ways

<v Speaker 1>as a result of the things that we've done to

<v Speaker 1>ourselves simply because of, just keep it a spade a spade,

<v Speaker 1>the lust of the flesh. We have to take radical

<v Speaker 1>accountability for that because like I said, you feeling those feelings, feelings, feelings,

<v Speaker 1>getting so caught up in the moment and all the

<v Speaker 1>different things can result in a lifetime or a series

<v Speaker 1>of decisions that were brought about due to that one moment, okay?

<v Speaker 1>And that is just the cold, hard truth about the

<v Speaker 1>reality of the situation. And now we're going to move

<v Speaker 1>on to capacity. And honestly, this could be the most

<v Speaker 1>powerful part of this. So take notes. So because someone

<v Speaker 1>can have chemistry with you and be compatible with you,

<v Speaker 1>hold up. They may still not have the capacity to

<v Speaker 1>be your partner. So what is capacity? Can you actually

<v Speaker 1>show up for this and in this? right? Emotional capacity is,

<v Speaker 1>can you be vulnerable? Can you communicate? Can you regulate?

<v Speaker 1>Can you regulate yourself during conflict? Can you consider someone

<v Speaker 1>else's feelings? Do you have the mental capacity? Do you

<v Speaker 1>have the bandwidth to maintain a relationship? Do you possess

<v Speaker 1>the lifestyle capacity? Do you actually have room for the

<v Speaker 1>partnership that you want to create or that you've created?

<v Speaker 1>relational capacity. Do you know how to give, compromise, repair, pursue, reassure, sacrifice,

<v Speaker 1>and also maintain intimacy? There's also practical capacity. Do you

<v Speaker 1>have time, the time and the resources required for the

<v Speaker 1>kind of relationship you're saying you want? Pause right here.

<v Speaker 1>People want the benefits of a relationship without having the

<v Speaker 1>capacity required to maintain one. That's the difference. Because a

<v Speaker 1>lot of the times, people are really going nowhere fast.

<v Speaker 1>They want to have all the benefits of companionship. They

<v Speaker 1>want the affection. They want the you know what. They

<v Speaker 1>want someone checking in on them. They want someone loyal

<v Speaker 1>to them. They want someone available when they're lonely. But

<v Speaker 1>when it's time to plan, communicate, sacrifice, prioritize, repair, and

<v Speaker 1>consistently show up, suddenly they're overwhelmed with the same job,

<v Speaker 1>with the same job they've always had. Suddenly they cannot

<v Speaker 1>do it. All of a sudden they realize, I think

<v Speaker 1>this might get too serious for me. I think I'm

<v Speaker 1>going to back out. And that's not necessarily a chemistry problem.

<v Speaker 1>But I do want to add that it is a

<v Speaker 1>capacity problem. Like I said, let's stop right here. Capacity

<v Speaker 1>is everything. All of these three things are fundamental when

<v Speaker 1>it comes to building a relationship. And especially for the

<v Speaker 1>men out there, all right? Let's just call a spade

<v Speaker 1>a spade, okay? Regardless of the outliers of women who

<v Speaker 1>basically act like men, they obviously have some sort of

<v Speaker 1>fundamental issue wrong with them where they're leading a life of,

<v Speaker 1>you know, an ulterior life. Let's just leave it right there.

<v Speaker 1>Majority of women do want to be in a relationship.

<v Speaker 1>Please stop. Cut through the ka-flum. You already know that.

<v Speaker 1>Cut it out, okay? But it's a lot of the

<v Speaker 1>times harder to get a man to desire the same thing.

<v Speaker 1>And the older you become, you realize that it really

<v Speaker 1>is nowhere going fast and you're just tossing something in

<v Speaker 1>the air and hoping that it lands somewhere, you know,

<v Speaker 1>Great when you hear someone be so vague about the

<v Speaker 1>things that they want. When you are entering into a

<v Speaker 1>relationship as a man, it's very important to understand your capacity.

<v Speaker 1>And a lot of the times men tend to, you know,

<v Speaker 1>put themselves into situations just like to feel out what

<v Speaker 1>it is for the moment and just live in the

<v Speaker 1>moment and try to be as present as possible without

<v Speaker 1>actually planning anything for the future. or not even having

<v Speaker 1>the capacity. They almost find themselves frustrated by the thought

<v Speaker 1>and the conversation of wanting a future. Just because, and

<v Speaker 1>this is, the older you get, this is the beauty

<v Speaker 1>of dating as you are older, is you start to realize,

<v Speaker 1>ask all the hard stuff in the very beginning. It's

<v Speaker 1>only gonna run away the wrong person. is you're not

<v Speaker 1>showing up to a date saying, are we going to

<v Speaker 1>get married? And the wrong person is going to hear

<v Speaker 1>the wrong thing. You understand what I'm saying? If you

<v Speaker 1>ask a man, do you have the capacity for relationship? Yes,

<v Speaker 1>people can lie, but you guys need to use discernment, okay?

<v Speaker 1>But You can tell when someone is open and receptive

<v Speaker 1>to being present in the experience with you because they

<v Speaker 1>have the capacity as opposed to a man who shuts

<v Speaker 1>down at every other thing. He wants to game his

<v Speaker 1>way out of certain questions. He's giving you this feeling right?

<v Speaker 1>I'm sure we've all been there without necessarily saying it,

<v Speaker 1>but you almost feel silly for asking certain questions because

<v Speaker 1>you feel like you don't want to give the impression

<v Speaker 1>that you are trying to, you're thinking too much or

<v Speaker 1>you're doing this, you're doing that. The right man for

<v Speaker 1>you is going to hear these things, calm you down

<v Speaker 1>and say, hey, listen, like No, no problem at all.

<v Speaker 1>I don't mind answering that question because a healthy man

<v Speaker 1>clearly understands that just because you ask, you know, what

<v Speaker 1>exactly are you looking for? Are you marriage-minded? Are you

<v Speaker 1>looking for, you know, whatever else is out here? I

<v Speaker 1>don't know. But if you're asking someone if they're marriage-minded,

<v Speaker 1>the right person is not going to think, why is

<v Speaker 1>she asking me this? Like, I'm not trying to get

<v Speaker 1>married to her right now necessarily, right? The right person

<v Speaker 1>is going to hear that and say, yes, that's exactly

<v Speaker 1>where I'm heading and Because they understand that healthy individuals

<v Speaker 1>know that it doesn't necessarily mean you. So with that

<v Speaker 1>being said, it's very important to be with a healthy individual.

<v Speaker 1>And it's actually a lot easier than you realize to

<v Speaker 1>suss out whether or not a person is a healthy individual, right?

<v Speaker 1>So it might not even be a capacity problem, honestly.

<v Speaker 1>I think there's a distinction here, which is desire does

<v Speaker 1>not equate to capacity. Remember me saying that. Desire does

<v Speaker 1>not equal capacity. Someone saying I really want a relationship

<v Speaker 1>does not mean that they're equipped for one. It's like

<v Speaker 1>you're saying you wanna own a business, okay? Do you

<v Speaker 1>have the capacity to run a business? Wanting the outcome

<v Speaker 1>and being prepared for the responsibility attached to that outcome

<v Speaker 1>are completely different things, all right? And then there's timing, right?

<v Speaker 1>So because capacity can sometimes be seasonal, right? Someone could

<v Speaker 1>theoretically be a compatible partner, but currently be dealing with

<v Speaker 1>circumstances that make them unable or unwilling to build the relationship.

<v Speaker 1>Remember that, unwilling sometimes. And here's where people get trapped.

<v Speaker 1>They think, but maybe later. No, you need to date

<v Speaker 1>the person's current capacity, not their potential, all right? You

<v Speaker 1>have to think, I cannot build with who you might

<v Speaker 1>become when your life calms down. That's not realistic. And

<v Speaker 1>that's certainly not how men look at us. Someone could

<v Speaker 1>legitimately be a wonderful human being, all right? They could

<v Speaker 1>legitimately care about you. They could legitimately be attracted to you.

<v Speaker 1>And they still may not be available for the relationship

<v Speaker 1>that you need. So you don't need to villainize them.

<v Speaker 1>But you also don't have to wait. How about that?

<v Speaker 1>You know, when it comes to dating, you want to

<v Speaker 1>ask these sort of questions, right? You have to test

<v Speaker 1>these things. Chemistry, am I genuinely attracted to and connected

<v Speaker 1>to this person? A lot of the times that's the

<v Speaker 1>easy part. Then you have compatibility. Do our values, our lifestyle,

<v Speaker 1>our relationship expectations, and our visions for the future align

<v Speaker 1>enough to build something healthy? And then does this person

<v Speaker 1>have capacity? Is this person currently demonstrating that they have

<v Speaker 1>the emotional and practical ability to participate in the relationship

<v Speaker 1>that they say that they want. Ladies, how do you know?

<v Speaker 1>Actions with men. The key word is demonstrating, all right?

<v Speaker 1>Not when he says he's ready, no, all right? Not

<v Speaker 1>when you know, she even necessarily says that she's looking

<v Speaker 1>for marriage, but we're talking about men here. All right.

<v Speaker 1>Not he told me he's never felt this way before.

<v Speaker 1>Look at the behavior because capacity will always leave evidence.

<v Speaker 1>Somebody with capacity, they make plans. They follow through. They communicate.

<v Speaker 1>They make space for you. They repair after conflict. They

<v Speaker 1>progressively integrate you into their life, right? They can consider

<v Speaker 1>your needs without interpreting every need as pressure. Please hear

<v Speaker 1>me out when I'm saying this. The wrong man is

<v Speaker 1>always going to make you feel like you're doing too much. Oh,

<v Speaker 1>why are you that far ahead? Right? But the reality

<v Speaker 1>is they just don't feel strongly about you. And that's

<v Speaker 1>what it is, right? Are they able to build with you?

<v Speaker 1>And we have to stop asking ourselves, do we like

<v Speaker 1>each other? No. That is the chemistry question. Start asking yourself,

<v Speaker 1>do we work together? That's the compatibility. And are you

<v Speaker 1>both equipped and available to actually build this? That's what

<v Speaker 1>capacity is because you can have an incredible connection with

<v Speaker 1>someone who is completely incapable of giving you the relationship

<v Speaker 1>that you were looking for. Somebody, like I said, could

<v Speaker 1>be a legitimate, wonderful human being, but it doesn't mean anything. Yes,

<v Speaker 1>they care about you, all the different things, But what

<v Speaker 1>does it mean? And we confuse this so many times

<v Speaker 1>when it comes to dating and we sort of confuse ourselves.

<v Speaker 1>And like I said, one of the key maturing factors

<v Speaker 1>here in growing and acquiring more wisdom is realizing that, hey,

<v Speaker 1>I'm taking this person's actions in a certain way, but

<v Speaker 1>really their style of how they date and how they

<v Speaker 1>court could just simply be different than how I want

<v Speaker 1>to be courted. Do you understand what it is that

<v Speaker 1>I'm saying? And without villainizing or demonizing that person, just

<v Speaker 1>simply chalking it up to, I think our expectations of

<v Speaker 1>how we are to show up in a relationship are

<v Speaker 1>simply different. Now, at that point in time, you can

<v Speaker 1>vocalize that so you can learn to manage your expectations

<v Speaker 1>and see how that man shows up. Or if you're

<v Speaker 1>anything like myself, you want them to already come with it.

<v Speaker 1>What's up? You don't want to have to teach and

<v Speaker 1>all the different things because I don't know. if I'm

<v Speaker 1>really just gonna be transparent here, I prefer for someone

<v Speaker 1>to show me who they naturally are and then I

<v Speaker 1>make a decision based off of that. I'm not really into,

<v Speaker 1>and everyone is different, different strokes for different folks. Some

<v Speaker 1>people don't mind having that sort of teaching moment where they're,

<v Speaker 1>you know, hey, like walking someone through how to navigate

<v Speaker 1>courting them. I've never really been like that. I believe

<v Speaker 1>that you either have the style of courting in the

<v Speaker 1>way that I want, or you simply don't. And it's

<v Speaker 1>okay if you do not have it because it is

<v Speaker 1>what it is. Like, we are just not necessarily a

<v Speaker 1>match in that way, but it doesn't mean that you're

<v Speaker 1>a bad person, doesn't mean that I'm a bad person.

<v Speaker 1>It just means that it's not really meant to go

<v Speaker 1>in a certain direction. And I think it's so important

<v Speaker 1>to have that, understand that distinction and to have that

<v Speaker 1>approach when it comes to dating. Because I'm telling you,

<v Speaker 1>the amount of times that people have gotten into serious

<v Speaker 1>situations resulting in unplanned pregnancies and all the different things

<v Speaker 1>because of the fact that they are feeling the chemistry

<v Speaker 1>with someone. If we all were to just rely on chemistry,

<v Speaker 1>all right, we would be in a lot of trouble.

<v Speaker 1>I mean, a lot of times we really are in

<v Speaker 1>society in general, right, where we're just feeding off our impulse.

<v Speaker 1>Chemistry is an impulse thing, sort of, you know, I

<v Speaker 1>personally think. right? And if you were to act on

<v Speaker 1>all of those impulses all the time, you would be

<v Speaker 1>in some serious trouble, okay? It doesn't allow you to

<v Speaker 1>think rationally when you're only thinking about the physical, okay?

<v Speaker 1>It really doesn't. That's why historically and also psychologically, people

<v Speaker 1>that we deem as better looking, sometimes we let get

<v Speaker 1>away with more things because of the fact that they

<v Speaker 1>are good looking to us, All right. However, sticking around

<v Speaker 1>because a guy is so attractive is not going to

<v Speaker 1>necessarily get you to the altar, right? No, sticking around

<v Speaker 1>is not, does not guarantee a certain outcome, you know,

<v Speaker 1>or you're putting up and tolerating a lot more things because, oh, well,

<v Speaker 1>he's good looking. And how am I ever going to

<v Speaker 1>find someone that this, that I'm attracted to like this?

<v Speaker 1>in this manner. And I think people just are short-sighted

<v Speaker 1>and they neglect the fact that there are so many

<v Speaker 1>other key factors when it comes to dating and spending

<v Speaker 1>the rest of your life with someone if you are

<v Speaker 1>in fact marriage-minded. And that really does matter because at

<v Speaker 1>the end of the day, if you do not have

<v Speaker 1>the same outlook on life as someone, these are fundamental

<v Speaker 1>issues that are not really fixable, okay? Yeah, sometimes you

<v Speaker 1>may have a different music you know, choice, or maybe

<v Speaker 1>your man is like really into sports and you're just

<v Speaker 1>not like those sort of things. Okay. Are, are typical,

<v Speaker 1>but when it comes to the foundational things of how

<v Speaker 1>you recreate, how you like to spend your time, how

<v Speaker 1>you like to have fun, all the different things. I'm

<v Speaker 1>telling you, if you like to stay home and he

<v Speaker 1>wants to go out and explore and all the different

<v Speaker 1>things or even vice versa, it's going to end up

<v Speaker 1>as a fundamental issue in your relationship because how you

<v Speaker 1>want to unwind and how you want to spend your

<v Speaker 1>time just looks a lot different. So with that being said,

<v Speaker 1>I mean, I can really just go on and on

<v Speaker 1>and on about this topic. I'm just here to drop

<v Speaker 1>something short and sweet. If you guys want a part

<v Speaker 1>two about compatibility versus... chemistry versus compatibility and also capacity.

<v Speaker 1>Let me know if you guys wanna see a part two,

<v Speaker 1>because I will be more than happy to give you

<v Speaker 1>guys a part two on this, because there's just so

<v Speaker 1>much to be said about chemistry, capacity, and compatibility. And

<v Speaker 1>it just really all factors in and will play a

<v Speaker 1>major role in the success of your dating experience and

<v Speaker 1>then forth your relationship. You cannot be in a successful

<v Speaker 1>relationship without all of these things mainly aligning. And the

<v Speaker 1>main one, like I said, being capacity, because people can

<v Speaker 1>tell you a whole lot of things, but you can

<v Speaker 1>tell whether or not a man truly possesses the capacity

<v Speaker 1>to be able to be in a healthy relationship with

<v Speaker 1>you simply by how he shows up, right? So let

<v Speaker 1>me know you guys' thoughts. I want to hear from

<v Speaker 1>you in the comment section down below. If you are

<v Speaker 1>watching this episode, I want you to Give it a hype.

<v Speaker 1>I want you to like the video. I also want

<v Speaker 1>you guys to make sure that you're subscribed, your post

<v Speaker 1>notifications are turned on. We just recently hit 12,000 followers

<v Speaker 1>on the podcast channel. Insane, guys. We are on the

<v Speaker 1>up and up. It's looking good. As you guys can

<v Speaker 1>also see, we got a little, you know, refresh on

<v Speaker 1>the setup. How are we liking it? I'm loving it.

<v Speaker 1>I love it so much better than just like the

<v Speaker 1>couch setup. thing and then my blank wall. I know

<v Speaker 1>some of you guys were commenting about that and that's

<v Speaker 1>totally okay because you guys want me to look good.

<v Speaker 1>But with that being said, do not forget that I

<v Speaker 1>love you and God loves you. I will see you

<v Speaker 1>beautiful angels in my next podcast episode.