St John Bowles, The Gentleman Paedo

GENTLEMAN PAEDO

I consider myself a gentleman Quite dapper and refined

I've got puppies in the van I'll get you in there if i can Then I'll fiddle with your little behind

You see...

I'm the gentleman paedo and by that I mean paedo-phile

You see debasing child Should not be reviled Unless it compromises your style

I grow weary of our public image We pederasts get a bad rap

So as you'll see I wear tweed to the knee Which makes for ever so comfortable a lap

So come and have a sit on it children we'll talk about what'll arise

You might want to struggle When I ask for a cuddle But eventually you'll comply

Coz I'm the gentleman paedo and by that I mean paedophile

I've got a santa's grotto That I use a lot, Oh! Don't it just make me smile.

And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII've got a whole lot of sweeties in my pocket if you'll reach in and find them

And Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuur kids'll be mistreated if they're not wary who is creeping up behind them.

Play the kiddie-fiddle now!

VIOLIN SOLO

So pop round my abode for a good time Bring an infant and you get in for free

I like kids of every race if they've got a pretty face See I'm quite like Angelina Jolie.

And I'm ther gentleman paedo and by that I mean paedophile

Most evenings you can bet I'll be out there with my net And that, my friends, is my style.