Overcoming Negative Thoughts Patterns with God's Truth (How to Align Thoughts with God's Word and Break Free from Harmful Thought Cycles)
Negative thought cycles are something we all face, but as Christians, we have a unique opportunity to tackle them not only from a clinical perspective but by grounding ourselves in God’s truth. In this episode, we’ll dive into the psychology behind negative thinking and explore how aligning our minds with scripture can lead to lasting change. Whether you’re struggling with anxious thoughts or ...
21m Oct 09, 2024
21m
3 Common Christian Phrases We Need to Stop Saying (These Phrases Are Hurting Us More than Helping Us)
In this episode, we're diving into three common Christian phrases that, while often spoken with good intentions, might be doing more harm than good. Have you ever heard or even said things like, "All things work together for good," "Everything happens for a reason," or "God allowed this to happen"? These phrases can be problematic when taken out of context or misused. Today, we’ll explore why s...
27m Oct 02, 2024
27m
Do You Think God is Withholding Healing from You? A Discussion on God's Love for Us and Our Willingness to Let Him In (Why Doesn't God Heal Me?)
Welcome back, friend! I'm so glad you're joining me for today's episode, which dives into a deeply personal topic I’ve had to walk through myself. This isn’t something I talk about lightly—it's a question I hear often from my one-on-one coaching clients: "Why doesn’t God heal me?" While I’m not addressing physical healing today, I want to talk about healing in terms of emotional pain and broke...
17m Sep 25, 2024
17m
Do You Think God is Punishing You? A Discussion On God's Boundaries with Us and Our (Unhealthy) Fear of Him
In today’s episode, we’re tackling a powerful and often misunderstood belief: the idea that God is punishing us for the challenges we face in life. Many of us feel guilty, thinking we deserve the hardships we're going through. But God's boundaries are set out of love, not punishment. Together we’ll explore the difference between discipline, consequence, and punishment, and how to break free fro...
22m Sep 19, 2024
22m
Are you Feeling Guilty After Setting That Boundary? Let's Talk Why You Could Be Experiencing This and What To Do About It
Have you ever set a boundary and then felt guilty afterward, wondering if you were now the "bad person" in someone else's story? In today's episode, we dive deep into that exact feeling—the guilt that comes with standing up for yourself. We explore why this happens, how pain and self-worth play a role, and what you can do to move past it. Setting boundaries is less about keeping people out and ...
17m Sep 11, 2024
17m
The #1 Thing Holding You Back from Forgiving Someone (Hint: It Goes Beyond Saying "I Forgive.")
If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I forgive them,” but still feel weighed down by lingering anger or hurt, this episode is for you. This week, I dive into the often-overlooked factor that keeps us stuck in the process of forgiveness: blame. As someone who struggled to forgive for years, I know this is a hard topic, but my story has offered me valuable insight into how we can move beyond bl...
17m Sep 04, 2024
17m
3 Key Ways to Regulate Your Dysregulated Nervous System
If you've been dealing with mood swings, irritability, difficulty focusing, and/or chronic fatigue, there's a good chance that your nervous system is dysregulated. In this episode, I explore what it means to have a dysregulated nervous system, the signs to watch out for, and practical strategies for healing. I’ll also share some personal experiences and bonus tips to help you regulate your emot...
20m Aug 28, 2024
20m
The Truth About People-Pleasing: The Struggle Between Pleasing God and Pleasing People
Are you tired of trying to keep everyone else happy while feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process? In this episode, I dive deep into why so many of us feel consumed by the need to make others happy, often at the cost of ourselves. I also explore the complex dynamics of people-pleasing, from both a psychological and spiritual perspective and offer practical insights on how to break fr...
22m Aug 21, 2024
22m
A Step-by-Step Approach to Processing Emotions
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your feelings or unsure how to navigate them, this episode is for you. In this chat, I dive into the complex topic of processing emotions. We’ll explore practical, faith-based approaches to understanding and managing your emotions, and provide actionable steps to help you gain clarity and peace. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, but if you write down yo...
18m Aug 14, 2024
18m
How to Fight Back When Life Doesn't Feel Fair
 “I bet you thought life wasn’t fair.” If you're a regular listener familiar with my family history, you can understand why someone would say this to me. And they're right - life isn't fair.  But here's a different perspective: life in a broken world isn’t guaranteed fair or painless. However, God promises to be with you through it all. This doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real or that life has b...
19m Aug 07, 2024
19m
What You Need to Know About Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Repentance (Set Yourself Free from the Painful Relationships the Biblical Way)
I want to talk about something that is tough, but super important - forgiveness, reconciliation, and repentance. For years, I struggled with what others expected me to do versus what God told me. It was a constant battle because these opinions came from people I deeply respected. But every time, something inside me stopped. It took years and some recent experiences to realize that this hesitat...
21m Jul 31, 2024
21m
3 Key Factors to Processing Your Pain in a Healthy Way with God
Are you dealing with pain, but you feel like no one acknowledges it? Maybe someone tells you that you're the problem, or someone you care about manipulates or gaslights you. It's easy to feel like you're the issue, thinking you're a burden or no one cares about you. When bad things happen, the last thing you want to do is face them head-on. It's much easier to shut down, isolate yourself, and d...
18m Jul 24, 2024
18m
After Not Talking To or Seeing My Mom After 14 Years, We Reunite (My Personal Journey of Forgiveness)
This episode is special because it's very personal—it's about me and my mom. For those of you who've been following me, you might know a bit of my story, but today I'm diving deeper. She and I had been estranged for 14 years, but that changed last month when I became her medical power of attorney. I hope my experience resonates with those facing similar struggles and offers insight into the imp...
17m Jul 17, 2024
17m
The #1 Way to Overcome Disappointment in Relationships (It May Not Be What You Think)
The topic of today's episode is very personal because I've been learning lately through my relationship with God about letting go of offenses. It's about not letting myself think poorly of someone just because of how they react to my pain. It's tough, but our expectations of others often set us up for disappointment. Sure, it's healthy to have expectations in relationships, but when I start ne...
17m Jul 10, 2024
17m
How to Forgive Yourself with God's Help
If you're a Christian, or even if you've just considered it, you've likely wrestled with feeling like you need to get better before God will accept you. Why would you expect God to forgive you if you can't even forgive yourself? This mindset leads to isolation from God and others who might hurt us again. However, when we forgive ourselves, we heal through compassion—not self-centered compassio...
16m Jul 03, 2024
16m
How to Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty About It
Ever found yourself letting someone say or do whatever they wanted to you, even when it felt wrong? Or maybe you’ve kept someone or something in your life longer than you should have because confronting it felt too overwhelming. It’s often easier to endure the pain of staying silent than to face the discomfort of speaking up. Setting boundaries requires understanding who we are in Christ, deal...
18m Jun 26, 2024
18m
What Has Been Done To You Does Not Define Who You Are (Separating Actions from Identity in Christ)
Have you ever felt that what people say or do to you defines who you are? We often conflate actions — whether ours or others’— with our identity. For example, if you make a mistake, you might think that makes you a bad person. This is a natural, but misleading way to view ourselves. What if you viewed yourself through the lens of God's love rather than your actions? In this episode, I talk abou...
18m Jun 19, 2024
18m
How Your Food is Impacting Your Mood with Leanne Vogel
Generally, we spend a lot of time and energy thinking about what we eat. But have you considered that you might not be eating enough? In this episode, I delve into the profound impact of food on our mood and overall well-being with Leanne Vogel (https://www.healthfulpursuit.com/) , a certified holistic nutritionist and functional blood chemistry specialist. Our conversation includes the preval...
35m Jun 12, 2024
35m
But I'm a Christian! Navigating the Unexpected Pain and Grief No One May Have Told You About
Have you ever thought, "I'm doing the right thing. Why is this happening to me?" Many of us believe that being a Christian shields us from suffering, but that is not the case. In this episode, I dive into why pain still occurs, how to navigate grief, and the importance of forgiveness in the healing process. Pain is inevitable, but it doesn't have to turn into resentment. Embrace the journey of...
20m Jun 05, 2024
20m
It's Time to Stop Trying to Hold It All Together (God is With You)
We often find ourselves burdened by the weight of responsibilities, expectations, and fears, striving to "keep it all together." But what happens when we allow ourselves to acknowledge that we might not be okay? What if we let go and trust that God is with us through it all? Letting go and trusting God is a journey that requires faith and intentionality. By acknowledging our limits, seeking Go...
19m May 29, 2024
19m
How to Move Through Your Feelings So Your Feelings Don't Control You
God doesn’t tell us never to have emotions. However, when we choose to abide in our emotions and listen to them without reason, we learn the fruit of that is strife, jealousy, anger, and things like these as shared in Galatians. In this episode, I talk about how we move through our feelings so our emotions don’t control us. Navigating our emotions biblically and practically involves blending s...
20m May 22, 2024
20m
A Biblical Way to Care for Yourself Without Feeling Selfish or Self-Centered
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you desperately needed to take care of yourself, but the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame held you back? This struggle is real, and many of us have experienced it. But why do we find it so hard to prioritize our well-being? A healthy relationship with ourselves stems from a healthy relationship with God. What we believe about God we wil...
22m May 15, 2024
22m
How to Feel Seen When It Feels Like You Are Hidden (And No One Understands You)
Let me start by honoring the part of you that's fighting to be seen. God sees you and He knows. Not only does God know, but I also know this fight. I pray that, however hidden you feel, you find comfort in knowing that other women are trying to “get loud” so they can be heard, too. In Hebrews, scripture reminds us that we are not hidden from God. He sees and knows us on an intimate level. But ...
14m May 08, 2024
14m
Haven't You Punished Yourself Enough? Receiving God's Forgiveness and Setting Yourself Free
“I’m just not good enough.” “I should have known better.” “I’m not worthy of forgiveness.” “I always mess things up.” “I’ll never be able to change.” Behind every one of those phrases, we find a piece of ourselves that feels like it should be punished. So, we impose self-punishment and call it "holy," but punishing ourselves is no way to live. Let me ask you this - Do you believe you are forg...
15m May 01, 2024
15m
Be the One to Break Generational Sin Off Your Life (You Don't Have to Become a Statistic)
The topic in today's episode has been on my heart for a while because I've been reflecting on what my life might look like had I chosen to continue to make decisions that kept me headed down the same dark road much of my family has traveled. Maybe you can relate. In this conversation, I pose 3 questions that can help you recognize where you have been participating in generational sin and how t...
19m Apr 24, 2024
19m
2 Things You Can Do to Release Stress and Refocus Your Attention Back on God
Every day, when our alarms go off and our eyes open, we begin making decisions. By the end of the day, when our heads hit the pillow to do it all over again, we would have made an estimated 35,000 decisions. But we have to do it, right? The family needs to be fed, we need to go to work, and our friendships are important, so the question becomes how do we steward what God has entrusted to us wit...
21m Apr 17, 2024
21m
When You Feel Like Too Much and Not Enough All at the Same Time
Your childhood, what you have done, what has been done to you, what people have said to you, what people haven’t told you - every one of these sentences when answered holds pieces about who you are; a moment in your life that tried to form you into another image other than your Father’s. Those messages have tried to form this theme: “When you show up as who God has created you to be, you are t...
16m Apr 10, 2024
16m
Do You Struggle to Know If God Punishing You or Disciplining You? Learn How to Discern the Difference
I hear the pain in my coaching client's words when they say, “I feel like God is punishing me.” Many of the women who go through my programs and coaching one-to-one have been taught a view of God that is vengeful, full of wrath, and all punishment. They fear that when they don’t do something perfect God will punish them for it. If our theology of God isn’t based on His goodness, then when thin...
20m Apr 03, 2024
20m
3 Tips for Breaking Through Tormenting Thought Patterns
"Where did that thought come from?" "Why do I think like this?" Have you ever asked yourself those questions? In this episode, I break down how a thought pattern is formed, where we get influence for our thoughts, and offer 3 tips (plus 2 bonus ones) to build a foundation to start breaking through tormenting thought patterns. Rooting for you, Jessica Next steps: Get my free 3-day study and ...
14m Mar 27, 2024
14m
If God is Good, Then Why Am I in So Much Pain?
I am very acquainted with this question - if God is good, why am I in so much pain? In this episode, I share my own story of abuse and striving. Through the years, it has been a process of renewing and redefining all the pain I have gone through with others. It’s also taken time to forgive myself for the pain I caused others and the choices I made. I had to fully receive what Jesus did for me s...
15m Mar 20, 2024
15m
3 Key Factors to Rebuilding Trust in Any Type of Relationship
Sometimes we have to be willing to love people from a distance because love doesn’t require proximity, other times we commit to love closely. The depth at which we love will be the depth which we can experience pain. I don't know exactly what happened in your damaged relationship, but in this episode I share 3 key factors anyone will need when rebuilding trust in any type of relationship. Roo...
14m Mar 13, 2024
14m
Learn How to “Deny Yourself” in a Way that Honors God without Denying Your Humanity
“I don’t know how to process through what I am feeling and struggle with anxiety daily,” a coaching client (http://jessicahottle.com/heal) of mine told me. She continued, “I have been taught my entire life to deny myself, so how do I honor God but also honor who He made me?” Maybe, like my coaching client, you have felt the same way, a world where you need to get yourself together before you c...
18m Mar 06, 2024
18m
God and Pain: How Do We Reconcile the Two?
A survivor struggles to bring together two irreconcilable realities - God and abuse. “If God is good then why did this not-so-good thing happen to me?” This is a question we ponder when the pain of what happened feels far from anything good. We can see a world where there is pain and suffering without God, but how do we live in a world with a good God AND pain and suffering? That’s what we wi...
15m Feb 28, 2024
15m
How to Calm Down When You Are Angry
Anger is an emotion that hits hard, has some of the most intense reactions, and can be felt deeply in the body. It doesn’t matter if you are someone who feels their feelings, shoves down their feelings, or has difficulty communicating them; anger is unavoidable because we are humans living in a fallen world. That is not an excuse for anger but a fact. Anger is one of the most basic emotions we,...
16m Feb 21, 2024
16m
3 Ways to Ease Your Anxious Feelings
With the fast pace of this world, it’s no wonder we are finding ourselves in a constant state of anxious feelings. We think to ourselves that we will deal with it later until later never comes, and we find ourselves lying awake at night trying to process everything all at once. The good news is that the Bible offers wisdom and encouragement in dealing with these feelings. In this episode, I'm ...
14m Feb 14, 2024
14m
How to Stop Relying on Your Feelings So You Can Start Trusting God
Did you know by the end of the day, when our heads hit the pillow to do it all over again tomorrow, we would have made an estimated 35,000 decisions? That’s a lot of decisions that can come with a lot of feelings - and not all of them are good. The fact is that our feelings are not going to go away. In this episode, I explain three differences when it comes to our feelings that we need to reco...
17m Feb 07, 2024
17m
Forgiving the Hurt that is Hard to Forget
I know how hard it is to forgive. I think the mistake that many have many over the years is by the phrase, “forgive and forget." First, we must understand there is no limit to which we are to forgive. We don’t get to decide who is worthy of forgiveness and who is not. Despite what they have done or may do, we are called to forgive those who hurt us. Forgiveness is not an emotion. In this epis...
13m Jan 31, 2024
13m
The Process You Go Through to Reconcile with Someone Who Has Hurt You
I know we don't often say that we need to reconcile with someone, but it is a topic that comes up frequently in my coaching. So if your heart is hurting because someone has hurt you and you're trying to figure out how to move forward with this relationship, this episode is for you. In this conversation, I walk through six stages of rebuilding trust. Some of the stages can take longer than othe...
18m Jan 24, 2024
18m
5 Ways to Handle Difficult Relationships Through the Lens of Faith
Wouldn't life be easier if you could control the people in it? Unfortunately, it's not that simple. Relationships can be messy and difficult, so in this episode, I'm walking you through 5 ways you can handle those relationships through the lens of faith by seeing them through God's eyes, identifying stressors, and delaying our responses. I also share some biblical suggestions on how to improve ...
19m Jan 17, 2024
19m
Forgiving Yourself for the Things You Did And Wish You Would Have Done Differently
A proper relationship with yourself starts with a proper relationship with God. If you are always judging yourself by your performance, you will have a horrible relationship with yourself and live under guilt and condemnation. The release of our condemnation doesn’t hinge on our ability to forgive ourselves; our freedom from the strongholds we carry comes through Jesus. We aren’t striving to b...
12m Jan 10, 2024
12m
Breaking Free from the Cycle of Self-Hatred (Condemnation versus Conviction)
“I’ll never be good enough.” “I’m not worthy.” “I don’t deserve to be happy.” Do any of those phrases sound familiar? When we make a mistake it’s easy to miss conviction and move straight to condemnation, which creates a cycle of self-hatred. That is not what God wants for us. In this episode, I explain the difference between condemnation and conviction, how to break free of the weight of feel...
15m Jan 03, 2024
15m
See You in 2024! (+ What's Coming)
As 2023 comes to a close, I want to take a moment and thank you so much for listening! This community continues to grow and I have some exciting things coming up in 2024 including a new membership community where you can feel safe and heard while talking through scripture together. I'll also be continuing my Spiritual Growth Mentorship and adding some counseling sessions to help you discover pr...
8m Dec 20, 2023
8m
Finding Hope After Betrayal (The First Step)
Betrayal, whether it's from a family member, spouse, friend, or co-worker can be devastating. So, how do we find hope? In the new year, I am releasing a biblical study on rebuilding trust. In it, I talk about one of the key stages in rebuilding trust in finding security in God before finding security in people. However, in this episode, I walk through scripture that informs us of why forgivene...
22m Dec 13, 2023
22m
Setting Healthy Boundaries in a Biblical Way
Can you remember a time recently when you allowed someone to do or say whatever they wanted to you? Or can you remember a time when you kept someone or something in your life longer than you should have because confronting the problem felt like too much? It may have felt easier to deal with the pain of staying and holding on than communicating and letting go. If you can relate, this episode ab...
22m Dec 06, 2023
22m
3 Simple Ways to Turn to God when Stress Is at a All Time High
Are you stressed right now? It’s easy for us to feel all the expectations from other people and, if we are honest with ourselves, the expectations we place on others to meet our needs this time of the year. However, the most important thing I have learned about stress is that it comes down to perception. What story do I tell myself every year around this time? Do I look at everything I have t...
16m Nov 29, 2023
16m
7 Ways to Emotionally and Spiritually Prepare for the Holiday Season
I feel like when November hits, we can move into a season of either hurry or rest. The holidays can bring a lot of emotional turmoil or joy and also a lot of preparation and tiredness. When that happens, usually one of the first things to go is our time with God or even taking care of our emotional and physical well-being with the Lord. My hope for you today, though is that you don’t let this ...
14m Nov 22, 2023
14m
Walking Through Loss and Grief with God
I recently shared in one of my teachings how I heard this phrase, “The body of Christ is the only army that I know of that shoots its own wounded.” To further this statement they added, "We bury people before they are dead." As Christians, we rush to statements like, "There is a purpose for your pain" or "Everything happens for a reason." Let it be said there are some truths to those statement...
17m Nov 15, 2023
17m
How to Have Hope During Hard and Heavy Seasons
If you are currently in a hard or heavy season that feels like it will never come to an end, I hope this episode will be an encouragement to you. During these seasons, the pressure builds and some days it probably feels hard to breathe. But, even through it all, we can cling to a hope that doesn’t lie in the things we can control or the things we can’t control. Our hope lies in the Promise Kee...
16m Nov 08, 2023
16m
3 Tips to Regulate Your Emotions While Staying Grounded in Truth
Do you feel every feeling to the point it sometimes feels like chaos in your mind or uncontrollable? Do you have a hard time expressing your feelings? Do you avoid talking about your feelings at all? Whether you are someone who feels everything or tends to not feel at all, I think we could agree that both ends have a hard time regulating their emotions. In other words, feel your feelings witho...
19m Nov 01, 2023
19m
When Scripture Gets Twisted and People Get Hurt
In this episode, we are going to a place together that may feel tough, but I’m putting my big sister hat on to tell you the truth in love because I care. I’m sorry for any time scripture was used against you and your pain to manipulate you or to cause you to stay in a situation of abuse. I want you to know this isn’t God. He’s not okay with how you are being treated by His Word. Jesus' goal i...
20m Oct 25, 2023
20m