She never acknowledged that without me she wouldn't have had a cake,

bouquets, or a stress-free wedding day.

I didn't say anything.

I just quietly left early using TSA as an excuse and ended

up sleeping at the airport.

I was handling everything, and at one point I had to ask the hairstylist

if I could pay her to quickly curl my hair cause I hadn't even had

time to get ready even though I had arrived six hours earlier." Hey, guys.

Welcome back to a brand-new episode of Here Comes the Drama.

It's been over a month since I've sat down and recorded, and as you

guys can see, if you are watching the video, I am in my new house.

so during that time, I moved, and I'm still getting accustomed to the new space.

I apologize in advance if you can hear a little echo.

I'm figuring out sound, lighting, and all that good stuff in this new space.

and then if you are watching the video, you can see behind

me is a work in progress.

We're figuring things out as we go.

I'm also recording in a different way.

so again, I apologize if I tend to look at my computer.

That's where I'm used to recording from.

I'm now recording from my phone for the time being until I figure more things out.

So again, thank you for your patience as, I'm learning as we go.

just kinda making it fun.

But I'm excited to be back and read some stories from you guys.

I get so many stories, and I don't even have the chance to read all of

them, so being able to do the podcast allows me to really, like, absorb

them in a different way and sit down with you guys and enjoy them.

So it's been a wild few weeks.

it still kinda feels a little surreal.

currently I'm filming at night, and normally my husband's at home,

but he's at a concert tonight, so I was like, "It's fine. I'll film

when my daughter's asleep," and she's in there just chatting away.

anyway, sorry to keep this episode a little bit shorter just so I can

kind of slowly get back into it, and please, you will not offend me.

I do wanna hear your feedback because we're constantly trying to make it

better and, of course, sound better.

not that long ago I sent out an email survey where you guys could give me

your feedback as well, and I'm taking all of that into account just to make

better content for you, better episodes, newsletters, and all that good stuff.

So, the biggest update, of course, I just talked about is that we moved,

so that's been a big process with a toddler, getting everything settled,

and kind of figuring out our new space.

it's been a long time coming.

So very excited to have more space to be able to film and more

areas of the house that I can use.

as opposed to my last podcast, we were filming in my closet.

it's quite, quite the change.

the next update, which happened this week, actually yesterday as of recording,

which I'm so relieved and happy about, is I submitted book number two edits.

I've kinda talked about it here before, but, I'm working with my

literary agent on book number two of the Here Comes the Drama series.

It's called Drama Ever After.

It follows season two pretty closely but, of course, I've made a lot of changes,

and I've added a lot of stuff and a lot of scenes and dialogue that I just

couldn't put in the storyline, skits.

you're also gonna notice some bigger changes that, again, were not in

the skits, but it's like once I read through it and I try to make sense

of it, I'm like, "Wait a second.

Why did I have that happen?

This should've happened." And so it's been fun, but it's been a lot of work in

the midst of moving to be able to focus on that. And I'm someone that, like,

works on deadlines really well, but if you give me a deadline way in advance,

like months in advance, it's really hard for me to be like, " Okay, I'll work a

little bit here and a little bit here."

I wait till the last minute.

If you're my literary agent listening, no, I didn't.

Shh.

so it's really hard for me.

I was really good in the beginning about pacing myself, and then all of

a sudden it was like, "Oh my gosh, I need to read through this book Two more

times with edits in one week's time.

So that was a lot to take on, but I'm really excited and

happy that it is submitted.

Not to say there won't be many more edits, but I just feel like we're

making progress with this book.

I've also said many times before that, we're processing it and publishing it

a different way than the first one.

So I'm excited to see it all come to fruition.

All right, so let's jump right into some hot takes.

We're just gonna do a few of these and then get into

this week's story submission.

A long gap between ceremony and reception is worse than almost

any other planning mistake.

Okay, so I wouldn't say it's worse than any other planning mistake, and

I don't think it would be called a mistake if they do it on purpose, but

it is rather annoying when there is a really long gap, especially if you're

far from home because then if there's, like, a three-hour gap, you're like,

" What do we do for these three hours?

We have to be back for dinner by this time.

What are we gonna do in a town where we don't know anybody, don't know

what to do?" I've seen it happen a few different times, and there was really

nothing the bride and groom could do.

Um, we ended up going to a house of a relative that was nearby.

but you should hope and plan accordingly that when the reception starts, that

dinner is served almost immediately after because one of the weddings that

I went to where there was a really long gap, I want to say it was, like, three

or four hours between the, end of the ceremony to the reception, we still got

to the reception and I think had to wait another hour, hour and a half for dinner.

So really think about that when you ask your different venues, about

timing and what is available because I think sometimes people get so far in

the planning process where they don't realize, " Oh, we have to push this

back," or, "Oh, our church only allows us to get married at this time." So

really ask those questions ahead of time.

Okay.

Not everyone wants to dance, and that shouldn't make them bad guests.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think it should be, like, required for people to dance.

Some people are just really not comfortable with dancing,

and I think that's okay.

But if you're not a dancer, make sure you're having a conversation

or talk with some people.

I don't think anyone's a bad guest unless they start drama, honestly.

Like, if you just want to sit at your table and be a bum, that's fine.

Like, you're not hurting anybody.

but you are at a social event, so be kind, be communicative with

people, and just enjoy the night.

It's okay to reuse decor, dresses, or ideas.

You don't need everything to be never been done before.

yes, 100%.

I've talked about this before.

My wedding, we reused fake flowers from my friend's wedding.

a bunch of decor was passed along from different weddings I was at.

I borrowed some from, the venue I was at.

I got some from a thrift store.

So yeah, I mean, it's not tacky to reuse stuff.

Please reuse stuff.

Save where you want to or can.

To me, and for me, getting something that was brand new or expensive was just not

in the budget, and it was not something that I wanted to spend my money on.

Okay.

The best weddings feel like the couple, not like a Pinterest board.

I feel like that's phrased kind of weird, but I agree.

I think ultimately, the couple brings the vibe, right?

So if they're a fun couple, they're on the dance floor all night, they're talking

to everybody, they're having a good time, the guests are gonna have a good time.

The Pinterest board is great for the image and all that, but at the end of

the day, if it just looks great but the party kind of sucks, it doesn't matter.

Okay, last one.

Some traditions stick around purely out of guilt, not because

anyone actually enjoys them.

I wouldn't say guilt necessarily, but I do think a lot of times people think

they have to keep the tradition alive because their parents did it or their

grandparents did it without actually questioning why they did it, or if

they actually want to do it themselves.

I know so many weddings I went to, they do the bouquet toss

and they do the garter toss.

And for me, I hadn't really been to a wedding where they didn't do it.

It was just very normal.

And then when we got ready to get married, I was like... Not ready to

get married, planning our wedding.

I was like, "Mm, I don't wanna do that." And I think a lot of times people

don't even take a step back and say, " Does this make sense for my wedding?

Would I want this at my wedding?" they just kind of think they have to do it.

They, like, build it in there.

So I think you would always ask yourself, like, "Does this make sense

for us, or is this something I'd rather leave out?" All right, here we go.

This week's wedding story submission.

About seven months ago, my best friend since kindergarten

invited me to her wedding.

We're coming up on nearly 30 years of friendship.

We spent every summer together growing up, went on each other's family vacations,

and her family has always called me their bonus daughter, the whole nine yards.

So when she invited me, I naturally asked what dress she wanted me to

wear, since we have literally been talking about being in each other's

weddings for over twenty years.

That's when she told me, " Because of your MS, I'm not going

to have you in the wedding.

I don't want the stress to be too much for you."

Oh.

I was hurt, but I told myself it was her wedding.

I decided I would still go, support her, and respect her decision.

Fast-forward to the wedding weekend.

I flew in on Friday after waking up at three AM to catch my flights.

That same day, I helped her make a four-tiered cinnamon roll cake and stayed

up working with her until almost midnight.

The next morning, we were supposed to get our nails done at together at eleven AM,

while the rest of the group went at nine.

At nine AM, I get a text saying she was already there.

Oh, they're getting her nails done, so I rushed over and ended

up getting my nails done alone.

Okay, that's weird.

After that, we spent the day running around shopping for the wedding.

When we got back to her house, she had me put together her bouquet

and all the bridesmaids' bouquets.

This is very odd.

At that point, I went back to the hotel early because I was completely exhausted.

Then came the wedding day.

I found out she had made me the point of contact for the entire day.

So while her bridesmaids were getting their hair and makeup professionally done,

I was running around managing everything.

Okay, so you're telling me she was hired as the day-of coordinator without

being hired as a day-of coordinator.

That is, like, the sneakiest, I don't know.

I don't know how I feel about this friend.

and for anyone that doesn't know, there's typically a point

of contact for every wedding.

Like, it's typically the maid of honor, your day-of coordinator, wedding planner.

I've been the day-of contact many times for weddings.

It's just so that you're not bugging the bride with questions like, "Oh,

what door do we come in?" " Where should we set this?" "We're running

late." You know, anything like that, it's so they can contact someone

So the fact that she just made this friend her contact is very weird.

The fact that she was like, "Oh, I don't want you to be in the wedding 'cause it's

gonna be too much for you," acting like she cared, but then being like, "Psych.

You're gonna be the day of coordinator and just not get paid for it,"

is essentially what I'm getting.

" When her dad wasn't there five minutes before the ceremony, I kept her

calm and made sure she didn't know.

When her mother-in-law's dress broke and her husband had to leave

to get it fixed, meaning he might miss pictures, I stepped in again.

I distracted her, kept her relaxed, and handled everything he was supposed to be

doing until he got back." So she realizes at this point that she's being used.

She has to know because people are calling her, she's getting, like, pulled

in all these different directions.

I'm confused why she hasn't... I mean, I guess at that point

she's probably thinking the bride still has good intentions.

So she's like, "Oh, I'm just helping." But then I'm sure in 2020, She's looking

back and she's like, "Wait a second.

This doesn't make sense." " I basically spent the entire day doing

the role of maid of honor without the title." See, I was thinking

more day of coordinator, but okay.

" And then when the ceremony started, I was sitting in a car while two other

people stood beside her, one being a friend she'd only lived with for

three months years ago, and the other being her niece, who she had been

talking badly about all weekend."

Why are you talking bad about your niece?

That's weird.

Weird behavior.

" She never thanked me, not once.

She never acknowledged that without me she wouldn't have had a cake,

bouquets, or a stress-free wedding day.

I didn't say anything.

I just quietly left early using TSA as an excuse and ended

up sleeping at the airport.

There's honestly even more that I could say, but I was so

overwhelmed that I was crying from stress on the day of the wedding.

I was handling everything, and at one point I had to ask the hairstylist

if I could pay her to quickly curl my hair cause I hadn't even had

time to get ready even though I had arrived six hours earlier."

This girl does not care about you.

She does not care about you.

It makes me so upset when I stories like this because I read it and I'm like this

is obviously a one-sided friendship.

All along the person sending, that sent in this story, she's

like, "This is my best friend.

I've known her for 30 years.

We're gonna be in each other's weddings, like maid of honors," blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah. And this other one's like, "Ah, she's so annoying.

I'm not gonna have her in my wedding, but you know what?

She's really good at what, this, this, and this, so I'll have her come

along, but she's not gonna have the title." Like, that is so shitty to me.

Like, why act that way to someone you've known all along?

Like, at the end of the day, if she didn't want her in her wedding, I mean, whatever.

Like, you choose who you want, just be upfront, and then don't use them.

Don't make them the point of contact and have everyone contact them.

Say like, "Oh, this... You can call her, or you can talk to her

if you need something for the wedding day," because that just

makes you look like a shitty person.

Looking back, I showed up for her in every way possible.

I wish she had just shown up for me, too.

I wanna know you guys are no contact now, if you guys don't talk anymore, because

after that, I would be like, I would feel very used, and I think our friendship

wouldn't be the same after that, because it's very clear how she feels about you.

I've said it before, I've felt like I was in weddings before just

because I was good at certain things.

not to this extent, of course.

I was clearly asked to be in a wedding, and it was very clear

what my expectations were.

This reads as someone that's, like, thinks you're beneath them, and The

fact that she, disguised it as caring for you, " Oh, I don't want you in

the wedding because you have MS. I'm looking out for you." When in reality,

everything she had her do was harder than just standing up in the wedding.

So this is just a friend that doesn't truly care about you.

And so I hope this can just be a learning experience of like, okay, I

need to guard myself against people like this, because she obviously

doesn't have my best interest.

Man, I know we like the drama-filled stories, guys, but

sometimes I'm just like, dang.

Like, some of them just seem a little more Gut-wrenching than, entertaining drama.

the mother-in-law ones, like, yes, it's pain at the end of the day, right?

To, like, have those, strong disagreements and someone coming in

saying, like, " You're doing it this way.

You're whatever, a gold digger," whatever, it's that kind of thing.

But it's also, like, that's your partner's parent.

So, like, at the end of the day, you have to decide if you

want them in or out, right?

But a friendship is just a different kind of breakup, right?

that's someone that you, like, gave your heart and soul to.

You chose to have them in your life.

And so I feel like those kind of hurt a little bit more, when it's someone like

that and you have a friendship breakup.

So- I hope this person that sent this in was able to look

back and say, "You know what?

I'm grateful for the good times I had with this person, and now I'm gonna move

on from it." Because no good is going to come from a friendship like that.

She's gonna continue to use you, and I bet you if you were to able... if you

were to look back at your friendship, you would now be able to clearly see

times that you were used in it or, called at her convenience, right?

I had friends like that, too, where I thought they were, like, my best friend.

I'm like, "Oh my gosh, they're one of my best friends. Like, we get along so

well." And then you think back and you're like, " They called me when they nothing

better to do, and the second something better came along, they dropped me.

it didn't matter." and sometimes it takes us time to recognize it, but when

you do, you'll be grateful you did.

Like I said, sorry guys, this episode's a little bit shorter just because I'm

getting back into the swing of things.

Okay, let's get into some confessions.

This week we asked a time you felt ignored or unheard during

your wedding or someone else's.

This person says, "When my grandmother-in-law took my husband

to dance during our first dance."

I said, "No." You know, you have to laugh at that.

It's just, like, that older generation that they're just like,

"I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do."

Like, they kind of don't give any F's anymore at, at that point, and I've

seen that many times with grandparents.

you kind of have to laugh it off.

There's no reason to really start anything because of it.

It's just, like, I don't know.

Okay.

" Parents own a business and are using my wedding as an advertisement.

I have no say." You do have a say.

What do you... Okay, I need to know more about this.

Can you please send me some details?

Like, DM me some details.

What kind of business is this?

How are they using your wedding as an advertisement?

Like, it's in a commercial, it's in an ad on social media.

Talk to me.

I need to know about this because you should have a say.

This is your wedding day, and if they wanna be that way, say,

don't give them access to things.

Like, are they using your wedding photos?

' Cause if they're using wedding photos or engagement photos, say that it

needs to be approved by, photographer.

"My sister wearing a different dress than the one I bought all because I

wouldn't pay for tailoring." You bought her a dress- But she didn't like it

because you wouldn't pay for tailoring.

I mean, I don't know what was talked about ahead of time, but if you don't,

like, communicate, people don't realize that tailoring can sometimes cost just

as much, if not more, than the dress, which is ridiculous, but at the same time,

you're paying someone to literally, like, remake the dress to fit you perfectly.

but it's wild that she then bought a different dress because then

she's probably paying more than the tailoring would have cost.

The bridesmaid dress options didn't fit me right.

The bride refused to compromise.

It was so uncomfy." See, as a bride, you have to understand that

everyone's body type is different.

That's why I'm like, I love when brides, let your bridesmaids pick

different outfits because people have different comfortability levels

and just whether they want things snug or loose or fitted or flowy.

So I think it's really, really good as a bride and really helpful to ask your

bridesmaids, like, " What kind of style do you like?" if it's like you don't

like the color, I think you can suck it up, but if it's something that's, like,

really uncomfortable, doesn't fit you right, maybe you're heavy-chested and it's

like you don't like that feeling there, that's something that I think as a bride,

if they're your true friend, they're gonna take that into consideration.

" My maid of honor, sister, didn't arrange a bachelorette until my mom reminded her

to." This is, again, one of those things where it sucks, but if she's never been

in a wedding before or it was not properly communicated to her, she might not know.

I've heard of people getting upset when it's, like, a younger sister,

or a younger friend or, you know, what have you, and it's like they've

literally never been in a wedding.

They've never done a bachelorette party.

So at that point, what I would suggest doing is hosting your own or seeing if

another friend wants to take it over.

or you can, like, kindly remind, just be like, " Hey, so this is what I

was thinking for the bachelorette.

I'll book the hotel." You gotta remember, like, what we see on Pinterest and social

media is not realistic for everybody.

We see these great big bachelorette parties where people spend thousands of

dollars and they get all these, like, gifts, and that's just not realistic.

So remember to take a step back from social media and be

like, "Okay, what's realistic?

What can we do?

And what does my sister need to understand before doing all this?"

When my sister called me and told me she booked the rehearsal dinner when

I didn't even ask." That's a quick cancel unless you like the place.

Again, she's probably just trying to be helpful, but I can see where that

would be, like, stepping on your toes.

Just quickly say, " We've already got it covered, but thank you."

Okay, last one.

When my sisters-in-law got up and gave a speech they weren't invited

to make at the end without asking.

You guys know how I feel about this.

Never, never, never give a speech if you are not asked to give a speech.

That is, like, so... Tacky is the wrong word, but, like, it's just rude.

It's bad etiquette because people plan out their wedding, they plan timing

so perfectly, and maybe they purposely didn't ask you or this person because

they just don't want you to say anything.

So just don't do it.

Don't ask if you can give a speech either.

If they want you to give a speech, they will ask you.

and if they don't ask you and you really have something you wanna

share with them, write a letter, make a video, make them a scrapbook.

You know, there's so many other options if you actually care about

sharing your feelings and something heartfelt with them, and making

it less about a whole production.

Okay, this last one I just wanna read really quickly because it reminds

me of one of the skits we shared.

My grandfather hates dancing and made sure there's no music at our wedding.

There was a story, a skit I read, and I can't remember the characters,

but people were shocked at it because at the very end, everyone was told

not to dance because the grandfather was there and did not like music.

So... And I was told commenting, they were like, "That didn't really happen.

There's no way they would go through all this planning." Oh, it was the

one where the mom tried controlling the whole planning process, and she

wanted it to be like her wedding, too.

I might be mixing some up.

Anyway, so that was wild, and everyone was like, " Oh, that would never happen."

But guys, it happens.

Any time you hear one of my stories and you're like, "That would

never happen," just remember, people live very different lives.

All over the world, all over the country, wherever you are, people

have different families, different backgrounds, different lives.

Things happen.

Weird things happen all the time, and sometimes I think, like, this

is, like, the perfect outlet.

Like, people have been waiting to share these wild stories, and now

they're finally gonna share it.

that's one thing, too.

It's like people will comment on, like, skits or stories that I share, and

they'll have, like, a question about, like- " Wait, but didn't this happen in

this skit or this happen in this story?"

And I'm like, I can barely keep track of what I ate for breakfast yesterday.

The chance of me remembering what skit is this from is very slim to none.

I read probably, I don't know, like 50 in a month because some people DM them to me.

They're all over DM, my Google Drive, social media comments.

They're just all over.

also this segment or this episode, we missed the dilemma.

I didn't do a wedding dilemma, but if you have a wedding dilemma that

you would like me to read and respond to on the next episode, please

email me hello@kristaennis.com.

It can be any kind of situation you're either dealing with or maybe something

that happened in the past, you're trying to understand how to move forward.

I will give you my perfectly solicited unprofessional advice,

and I'm happy to do so anytime.

I love when people send me messages and they're like, "What should I do?"

And I'm like, "I will tell you what I will do." It's not a recommendation,

but I will tell you what I would do.

and you can take it or leave it, and it's fun.

It's fun for me.

All right, guys.

Well, that's all I have for this episode.

I hope it wasn't too, out there for you.

again, trying to get back into the routine of things.

It's really hard for me once I'm, like, pulled out of a routine or

out of a place to get back in, so I'm trying to make it make sense.

I'm trying to be as productive, but also, like, keeping a good mental health and

healthy, mind and body in this new space.

thanks for giving me grace, and thanks for being along with me for the ride.

All right, guys.

That's all I have for this week, and I will see you next time.

Bye now.