Life as a Visual Storyteller—Episode 19—19th July, 2015: Goddamnit! Let's All Dress Like Ian Poulter!

Because I am old and wise (at least, from the perspective of an eight-year-old), I know many things (again, from a child's pov). One of the things that I know is that it is very good to be very visible out on the road, if being seen encourage other road users not to drive over or into you. I was driven into once. I was on my bicycle and interfaced with a van. I can't say I enjoyed it very much.

So, I'm careful when I go out running. I wear a flopping, blousing high-visibility running jacket. I do so regardless of the light conditions. I look utterly ridiculous, but I reckon being seen is good.

Most runners (and cyclists too, I've observed) seem to disagree. Black is the most common colour of clothing people wear when exercising outdoors. Black tops, black shorts or leggings. Black is slimming, I'm told. So I see lots of people out on the roads where I live without a stitch of bright clothing on them.

Runners will argue that sticking to the pavements gives them protection, so they don't need to be visible. What nonsense. It's still useful for cars pulling out of driveways/side streets/carparks/that T-junction you're about to cross/etc to be able to spot you. Besides, where I live, pavements pop up and vanish again seemingly by their own whim.

Cyclists have no such excuse (even if an alarming number of them do ride on the pavement). The hilarious thing is that cyclists must wear helmets these days. Why bother if you're going to bimble about the place in predominantly black (or equally often, dark colours), positively inviting some unsuspecting motorist to knock you over? Actually, don't answer. That's exactly the reason, isn't it?

I think we should all follow the example of golfers. Ian Poulter's wardrobe might bring tears to your eyes, but goddamnit, you can see the man. Even better, we should adopt the fashion designs perpetrated by 1980s golf clothing manufacturers.