The Maid of Doolin Pier

The Maid of Doolin Pier

It was down on the pier at Doolin On a grand sort of summer’s night I saw her laughing and foolin’ In the beam of the bright moonlight.

And she gave me that come-hither smile With a maybe, as big as the moon, And says I, “O, it might be worthwhile Come hither, a cailín, a rún”.

Chorus ‘I du’ know, maybe so, it’s a stranger I’m thinking ye are; I du” know, maybe so, only don’t think yer going too far!’

She was dressed in fishnet and willing to barter And her eyes were as green as the sea; I had 22 pints, I searched for her garter And fumbled above her knee.

And she said ‘You don’t know where the glory-hole lies It’s different here on the pier, Give me your hand, I’ll resettle your flies For you’re busy holding your beer’.

Chorus “I du’ know, maybe so, you’re the first of your kind that I’ve met; I du’ know, maybe so, for the Guinness it has the lad beat!”

She said come for a dip, as she sucked on me lips — Like a magnet, her mouth was a vice — As I fumbled and tripped, with me hands on her hips There was nothing so contoured nor nice.

Then she peeled off her clothes, right down to her toes, As I took off me shoes and me socks, And she looked askance and said ‘Any chance You’d take off the vest and the jocks’.

Chorus “I du’ know, maybe so, but I’m really a little bit shy. I du’ know, maybe so, turn around and I’ll have a good try.”

As she jumped off the pier in the moonlight so clear I could see every part of her, flash! And I took a good run, still juggling me beer And came down on her with a big splash.

She swam like a fish, what a soul, what a dish As she nibbled me knobbly bits; She was winsome and lithe, and fulfilled every wish Did I mention?… Ah, let the hare sit!

Chorus “I du’ know, maybe so, but I’ve never been treated as well. I du’ know, maybe so, was it blood pressure causing the swell?”

“As I turned in the water to feel, where she oughta Have been, I was there all alone! I was wet and confused from the fumes of the booze And the wet it was all of me own.

“The pier down at Doolin — me stupid dreams, foolin’! The maid, was a figment as well. And me in the damp, I was thirsty and droolin’ — And me childhood came back with that smell.

Chorus “I du’ know, maybe so, but she left no email, no name! I du’ know, maybe so, and I’ve only the Guinness to blame!”

I du’ know! —© Frank Callery April 21st, 2017.