How To Know If You're Burning Out Running Your Bed and Breakfast and What To Do About It

Season 4, Episode 2,   Oct 30, 2018, 12:23 PM

Hi I’m Yvonne Halling at and in today’s video I’m going to share something which isn’t talked about in this industry, and that’s true burn out. How do you know when you’ve reached the end of your B&B road, and what do you do about it. So if you’re feeling like you really can’t do this anymore, then my 3 top tips today will help you.

When you’ve invested heavily in a property and perhaps been running your B&B, guest house or Inn for several years, decades even, and you’re feeling like you really can’t go on, it can be very difficult to stop.

You’ve got staff to think of, regular returning guests who expect you to be there year after year, and the fact that maybe this was your dream once upon a time, but it isn’t any longer.

As human beings, we’re constantly evolving on this journey called life. But we sometimes get stuck on trying to make life easy and good for others, but forget about ourselves in the process.

You might be feeling resentful towards your guests, your staff who depend on you, and you really can’t face “giving up”.

I was in this situation myself.

I had been running my own B&B for many years and what started out as a match made in heaven between me and our guests, turned into something I was no longer in alignment with, and couldn’t face doing any more. I had moved on, evolved and no longer wanted to talk about the things my guests were coming for. I was no longer that person and my heart wasn’t in it anymore.

But in my head, I felt obligated to everyone around me, including my guests, so much so that over time, the feeling of wanting to stop and move on got so strong, I could barely get out of bed in the mornings.

And the need to move on and evolve into the next version of myself was eating away at my soul and I couldn’t contain it any longer.

So I stopped. I closed the B&B and left.

And what a relief that was! Many people thought I was crazy, and couldn’t understand it. 

But I knew it was the right thing to do, for me.

So if you’re feeling like you can’t go on, Let me reframe it for you, so you can make the right choice for you going forwards.

Tip #1

There is no great rule book in the sky that says if you open a B&B, your dream business, you have to do it forever. You can do it for as long as you choose and want to, and you can stop whenever you want to as well. It’s your life, and you get to do what you want. That’s one of the privileges of living in a democratic developed society.  

If it was your dream once, but is no longer, find the courage to let go and move on. If you don’t that resentment you’re feeling right now is only going to get stronger and you could self destruct at some point. Best to avoid that if you can.

Tip #2

Feeling obligated to others and staying for their benefit, is a form of insult to them. What you’re really saying is that they can’t look after themselves, so you have to it. It’s insulting because they’re adults too and they too can choose what they do with their lives. They don’t need you to make it OK for them, even if they think they do. They don’t. When you take the lead and go your own way, you’ll unconsciously give them permission to do that too, and after they’ve got over it, they’ll thank you for allowing them to do that.  

It’s a bit like keeping them in the role of children, who can’t fend for themselves, while maintaining their reliance on you. A kind of co-dependency that is essentially unhealthy for all concerned.

Set yourself free, and you’ll set others free too in the process.

Tip #3

Use the experience you’ve had with your B&B to your advantage. Nothing is wasted. You have gained many skills that can be put to good use in your future evolution even if you don’t know what that is right now. Take some time to get to know yourself in a new way. Do some personality tests and discover your values, strengths, weaknesses and preferences to guide you forwards. There are dozens of them online – put aside your scepticism and find out who you really are at this moment in time, so that when you come face to face with the next opportunity, you’ll know for certain that it’s the right one for you. There are no mistakes, just learning experiences that teach us about ourselves. Let go and enjoy the ride.

If you’ve enjoyed this video and want to know more about how to run a B&B, guest house or inn in a way that doesn’t leave you feeling resentful, cynical or just plain burned out, then register now for my upcoming masterclass by clicking on the link below.

And remember to subscribe to my channel to be the first to get notified when I post the next video.

In the meantime, wherever you’re at on your journey, I wish you well.