Chapter Zero - How Far Would You Go?

Episode 1,   Jun 29, 2020, 01:01 AM

How far would you go for your mother? Now compare that with how far you’d go for Brian’s mother…

Brian is about to have something thrust upon him.  This could be one, or any number of, the following.

a) A tea towel
b) An Adventure
c) Soup

This podcast was made with your heart in mind.  We only wanted to make you happy.  If we do, please help us do that again, coz we're really in debt after this.  So go to and buy a Tee or a expeical feature or something.  Cheers.

Some notes:

Brian Hovis, like all who appear with him, is a fictional character.  I know!  Amazing that this isn’t a documentary right?  Here are the credits behind the curtain of magic and lies that is entertainment.
Written by Hywel Evans and Russell Gomer
Edited by Hywel, zen-guided by Russell.
Songs by Hywel with lyrics from Hywel and Russell.
Performed, every part, every-single-voice-you-hear by Mr Ian Conningham.
This is an entire work of fiction, any similarities in name of places people or companies is unintentional and entirely the work of the imagination. 

Thanks to Stuart Morgan of Audio Always for the kindness to let us use his booth for a day to record the entire series. 

Programmes used, should you be nerdy enough to care, include Logic Pro X and an increasingly slower-by-the-day Macbook on a couch.
Scott Lee Cupp wrote the wonderful main theme and is called ‘Africa’ which we purchased for use in our free podcasts, from the great website
Hywel Evans dawbed out the other music and songs you hear.  Far inferior to Scott’s work.
Sound Effects:
We made some sound effects ourself, used some in the Logic Pro and Garage Band / iLife library, and got many from the wonderful a great website for podcast makers providing free content in exchange for credits.
All sounds were amended in some way during mixing, and the licence applicable to most but not all is here
All sounds have been edited into a large story using the edit techniques needed to tell that story.  As such some sounds have been changed, and the owners of these sounds are not necessarily endorsing the use by Brian Hovis’ creators.  
These things have to be said.  Essentially, people who made free sounds on have done so with love, care and attention, and we have taken those like monkeys plucking coconuts and tried amidst our banging and crashing around to and apply the same rules of love care and attention to create a free story for everyone.  
Here come the credits they deserve, you will see a description of the sound, their username, and a link to the sound on  Hopefully this will mean you can use them and they are receiving the credit they deserve!
Desert sounds from Kanagaroovindaloo here
Wind sound from luciolepri here
Drumming of hooves
Galloping sound created on by Eläimet Kotieläimet Animals » Hevonen ohi, kaviot / Horse passing by galloping on asphalt, hooves clattering 
Heavy breathing TomchikRec
Buzz CGEffex
Army of shouts DickBlox
Gunshots from qubodup

Sandstorm from Meepalicious

 Door opening door opening EpicWizard

Tractor start from radwoc

Tractor running by cmusounddesign

Breakfast noises from 

Cuckoo and the nightingale from Vonora

Magazine sounds from fieldtapes

Bush from schademans

Shed door from Hanbaal

Tent flaps by kevinkace

Ticking Clock InspectorJ

Footsteps from sinatra314

tv switch off NLM
Fireplace juskiddink
Crunches junkfood2121
Voicemail beep kwahmah_02
Knock at window Eneasz
Window opens semccab
Rain from pulswelle
Thunder crashes using ilife
scraping oscaraudiogeek
Crashing downstairs in a suit of armour Branrainey

Chapter 1 

Brian is very brave, and makes a tit of himself in public.