BONUS HOMILY 4 of 5: What and why is marriage?

In this fourth homily, Fr Parker addresses the purpose and effects of marriage. It's real simple: marriage makes love easier because God makes love easier and marriage makes God easier. That makes sense right? Well, either way, you should listen to the homily.

The following is the full text of the homily:

A brief reminder before we begin that the last three weeks of homilies and this week’s and next week’s homilies build upon each other. If you missed any, or would simply like to review them, you can always watch them on YouTube or they are also uploaded to my Podcast stream.

Three big review statements that will contextualize this week’s homily: first, the human person is the body and soul that is created, loved, and redeemed by God; second, sin is the brokenness of the world, chosen by each individual, but forgiven by God; and third, sexuality is the shared difference of the human person who somehow images God perfectly while still depending on the other to reveal God completely.

This week, I will attempt to answer two closely related questions: what and why is marriage?

Marriage is unique among the Sacraments because, as an institution, it existed in the Jewish culture before Christ, and indeed, it would seem every society in the history of the world has some sort of organization that joins two individuals together. The Catechism says clearly, though, that “Marriage is not a purely human institution despite the many variations it may have undergone through the centuries in different cultures, social structures, and [even] spiritual attitudes” (1603). Marriage is not perfect in the Old Testament; kings and rulers had many wives, and Moses permits divorce because of the hardness of the faithful’s hearts.

Christ changes that, though, just as He changes everything. Christ makes marriage a fulfilment of the shared vocation to love. Marriage between husband and wife, the love they share, “becomes an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves [each human person]” (1604). Moreover, the marriage between two baptized people has the potential to become even more than an image; marriage becomes a sacrament: one of Christ’s most effective and guaranteed actions of Grace in the world!

The brokenness of sin threatens marriage. The individuals bring sin into the marriage by their lack of trust, adulterous thoughts, impatience with one another, and much more. Sin in the society around the marriage affects it too: confusion about what marriage is confuses the spouses; encouragement and accessibility of so many vices haunts the couple; the demands of the material world put undue pressure on the individuals, and again, so much more.

But we know that sin is redeemed by God. In fact, we know that redemption happens most effectively in things that look the most like sin. Remember the Cross: the Cross is marked by the gravest and most obvious sins: violence, unbelief, hatred, mockery, cowardice, and betrayal. In the midst of these sins, God conquers. His passion “becomes the source from which the forgiveness of our sins will pour fourth inexhaustibly” (1851). Marriage, then, even if marked by sin, can be a source of redemption. Marriage is the suffering which makes saints of the spouses.

Perhaps the most memorable aspects of our readings today are the responsorial psalm’s description of how those who fear the Lord are blessed and Jesus’s declaration that those who have nothing will suffer in darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. These frightening words might not sound like words from a God who calls each and every one of us to love with a love as deep as His love for us. But as always, these words demand a context. It must be remembered that fear and terror are not the same; fear is an emotional response to anticipation that might lead us to terror but would better lead us to repentance and appreciation of the great power of whatever it is we fear. Repentance and appreciation are not the response of the unworthy slave, but they are present in the slave who uses his talents to do more. Likewise, repentance and appreciation are crucial actions between spouses in a marriage.

The parable of the talents is about embracing the calling that God gives each individual. We share universal vocation to love, but how each individual lives that love comes in as many ways as there are people in the world. The parable of the talents is also a warning about living in fear of what God is asking you to do, and how our response to fear might make things worse, or with repentance and appreciation, could make them so much better!

The first reading from Proverbs is not just describing the role of a wife, but is describing the importance of everyone’s discernment. The moral “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” is not a warning about the wiles of women, but a reminder for each of us to search for deeper meaning than initial impressions and appearances offer. St Paul’s declaration that we are “children of light” is a reminder that we are called to share these and other messages of the Gospel to the places of darkness, brokenness, in the world.

The whole of Jesus’s life, ministry, crucifixion, and resurrection points to the marriage between God and man that is present in all of our lives, and is realized most effectively in the Sacraments—most especially Baptism, which unities us eternally with the God, and the Eucharist, which is the wedding banquet of the Lord. But Jesus’s mission also reveals the glory of spousal marriage: He comes from a marriage that while shaken by an unplanned pregnancy remains steadfast; His first miracle occurs at a wedding; He explains why Moses wrongly allowed divorced; the suffering of the Cross, often, resembles the suffering of Marriage; and the Glory of the Resurrection even more perfectly reveals the Glory of marriage.

“The Christian family” from which is a natural and necessary fruit of Marriage, is a communion of persons,” and we remember that the same language is used to describe the Trinity. The family “is a sign and image of the communion of the Father and the Son in the Holy Spirit. In the procreation and education of children [the family] reflections the Father’s work of creation. [The family] is called to partake… [in] the sacrifice of Christ. Daily prayer and the reading of the Word of God” reveal God in the family in the same simple way that the Holy Spirit does (2205).

Our call this week, then, is to embrace our vocation—to embrace our universal vocation to love and the particular way that we are called to live it. Are you married? Then love your spouse better. Are you ordained? Then be a better Priest. Are you single? Then ask yourself how God might want you to live love better today and in the future. Do not live in terror of the future, but acknowledge the need for repentance and appreciation of the great mystery to which God is calling you. Love Him, and love all those he puts in your life

What and why is marriage? Marriage is the divine unity between husband and wife that brings God’s Grace into the world for the good of the spouses and the whole community.