Ep 14: 80% of Women Blame Themselves First: How Perimenopause Gaslighting Starts Inside Your Own Head

Sometimes being dismissed by the people you trust most is the thing that does the most damage. In this honest, personal episode, Rosie Acosta and co-host Tessa Tovar tackle gaslighting across the three relationships where women experience it most: with their doctors, their partners, and themselves.

With real listener questions, personal stories, and practical tools woven throughout, this is a lifeline for any woman who has been told she is fine when she clearly is not. If a doctor has minimized your symptoms, a partner has weaponized your moods, or your own inner voice has turned against you, this conversation is your roadmap.

✨ Here's What We Dive Into
- How nearly 50% of women report having menopause symptoms dismissed by their doctors, per a 2023 British Menopause Society survey.
- Why only 20% of OB-GYN residency programs include menopause training and what that gap costs women.
- How to self-advocate when your labs look normal but your body is telling a different story.
- What gaslighting actually means and why it is so harmful in medicine, relationships, and self-talk.
- How to build a zero-to-ten mood meter to name your emotional baseline and share it with people you love.
- Why asking a partner to repeat a dismissive comment is one of the most powerful deescalation tools available.
- How up to 80% of women with perimenopause blame themselves before recognizing their symptoms as hormonal.
- What self-gaslighting looks like in midlife and why so many women do it without ever realizing.
- Why feeling the anger before the grief underneath it is where real healing begins.
- Why sharing your emotional load with community is not weakness but a deeply human act of self-compassion.

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Timestamps

00:00 Welcome to the Radically Well Podcast and your hormone besties
00:03 Introducing today's topic: gaslighting in medicine, relationships, and yourself
00:05 Karen from Portland asks how to advocate without sounding like she's overreacting
00:07 Only 20% of OB-GYN programs include menopause training
00:09 The definition of gaslighting and why it matters in medical care
00:11 Rosie's story: four doctors, normal labs, and a prescription for antidepressants
00:14 Medical autonomy and the systemic bias that keeps women silent
00:17 Leanne from Brisbane asks how to respond when a partner weaponizes hormones
00:19 Rosie's Las Vegas story and the bedtime ritual that changed everything
00:24 The zero to ten mood meter: naming exactly where you are
00:29 Creating shared language with your partner before the explosion happens
00:33 Setting a boundary and the one question that reframes everything
00:38 Self-gaslighting: 80% of women blame themselves before seeing it is hormonal
00:41 The parallels between self-gaslighting and surviving emotional abuse
00:45 The vulnerability underneath the anger and why naming it matters
00:51 Get yourself back to zero: Rosie's simplest and most powerful tool

Discover More Mindful Episodes

How to Find Self-Acceptance and Navigate Body Image Changes in Midlife | Radically Well
https://youtu.be/BOmAo9JJaK4

Why Women Stop Dressing Up After 40 (and Why They Shouldn't)
https://youtu.be/9biPqDGrotw

Transforming Through Mindful Living Hi, I’m Rosie Acosta. I’m here to question the conventional and share what truly makes a difference in living with presence, love, and compassion. Whether it’s through meditation, mindful living, or healing the parts of ourselves we’ve been taught to ignore, I believe every moment of our journey holds the power to transform us. I’m not about quick fixes or surface solutions. I’m about real, conscious practices that reconnect us to our truth, our roots, and our higher purpose.

Connect with Rosie:
✨ Instagram: https://instagram.com/rosieacosta
✨ Facebook: http://facebook.com/radicallylovedrosie
✨ Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/rosieacosta
✨ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@RosieAcosta

Connect with Tessa:
✨ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tessamarietovar/
✨ Website: https://tessatovar.com/coaching
✨ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@tessatovar