Your Vacation Clause Is a Dumpster Fire and Nobody Told You
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In this episode I am breaking down four vacation clauses that I see written into real parenting plans all the time and every single one of them is trash. Not kind of problematic. Not a little vague. Trash. And somebody charged you money to write them.
If you have never tried to use your vacation clause yet just wait because that shit is about to show you exactly how screwed you really are.
In this episode I am breaking down four vacation clauses that I see written into real parenting plans all the time and every single one of them is trash. Not kind of problematic. Not a little vague. Trash. And somebody charged you money to write them.
"Reasonable vacation time" means I think two weeks and your ex thinks ten and now you have a fight and nothing in your plan to resolve it. "Parents will cooperate" means your ex just says no to every date you propose because you handed them that power when you were still being nice to each other during the divorce. "Mutually agreed upon" means I don't even need to send the email because the answer is already no and it will always be no. And "reasonable notice" means your ex texts you four days before your scheduled trip and calls it sufficient because technically it is and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.
Every single one of these clauses sounds fine until you actually try to use it. And then it blows up in your face and you are back on the phone with your attorney spending money you did not budget for over a vacation that should have already been yours.
I also walk you through everything a vacation section should actually include because it is not one sentence. It is not one paragraph. It is specific, it is detailed, and it is written so clearly that your ex cannot wiggle out of it no matter how hard they try.
Share this with every divorced parent you know. They need it more than they realize.
Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away:
- "Reasonable" Is Not a Rule -- It is a placeholder word that means nothing, enforces nothing, and will cost you a fight every time you try to use it.
- Cooperation Clauses Are a Gift to Your Most Difficult Co-Parent -- Any language that requires both parents to agree hands the more combative one total control over the outcome.
- "Mutually Agreed Upon" Is Just Legalese for No -- Your ex does not have to say yes, and with that clause in place, they probably never will.
- A Number Beats "Reasonable" Every Single Time -- Thirty days. Sixty days. Any specific number eliminates an entire category of future argument.
- Not Every Trip Is a Vacation -- Traveling on your own parenting time without disrupting the other parent's schedule is not a vacation. It is just Tuesday. Go.
- Do the Hard Work Once -- Have every uncomfortable conversation about travel, passports, and communication now so you are not slowly renegotiating your freedom for the next 15 years.
Vague Parenting Plans Are a Revenue Stream -- For someone. And it is not you.
- "I think two weeks is reasonable. My ex thinks ten is reasonable. That word does nothing for either of us and everything for our attorneys."
- "You wrote 'parents will cooperate' during the part of your divorce where you were still being nice to each other. That era is over. And now your ex runs your vacation schedule."
- "Mutually agreed upon. Are you kidding me. I do not even need to send the email. I already know the answer and the answer is no."
- "Your attorney is either dumb or they want your money back. Anyone with two functioning brain cells knows that vague language in a parenting plan means you will be back."
- "You should not have to ask your ex for permission to take your own children on a vacation. Somebody did you real dirty and you probably paid them to do it."
- "Rip the bandaid off once. Stop torturing yourself slowly by avoiding hard conversations now and then bleeding out over them for the next decade."
"A vacation only happens when you interrupt someone else's parenting time. During your own time? That is just your life. Go live it and stop asking for permission."
A Team Dklutr Production