“Keep It Loosey Goosey”? Why That Advice Will Ruin Your Parenting Plan
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Your lawyer wants your parenting plan vague. Sam breaks down why "loosey goosey" advice is a scam that costs you six figures and keeps you in court for the next decade. Listen now.
Your lawyer isn't protecting your ass. They're protecting their next damn retainer.
A client just emailed me telling me her attorney said to keep her parenting plan "loosey goosey." That was the actual phrase he used. Loosey. Goosey. I almost lost my shit. Because that one piece of advice is exactly why so many of you are still in court three years after your divorce was supposed to be done. That one piece of advice is exactly why you've burned six figures on the same fight over and over. That one piece of advice is exactly why your high conflict ex still controls your damn life.
In this episode I am ripping into the lawyers who keep handing out vague parenting plans like they're doing their clients a favor. They're not. They're handing you a future court date wrapped in legalese. And here's the kicker. They KNOW. They know exactly what they're doing because the same loosey goosey plan that doesn't say when your parenting time starts and ends? Their billing contract is detailed down to the damn comma. You'll get sued in 30 days if you don't pay your bill on time. But your Christmas Eve schedule can stay flexible. Make that make sense.
I'm calling out every reason these attorneys push vague plans. They've never used one. They've never lived high conflict. They've never had to sit there with a Tuesday Christmas and no clue whose day it is. They've never had to wonder if they can take their kid to a damn doctor without their ex's permission. They don't know your ex. They don't know your reality. And yet they're standing there telling you what's best for the next 16 years of your life. The audacity.
Plus, I get into the speech every judge gives that sounds beautiful and means jack shit. The whole "you'll figure it out, you'll cooperate, you'll do what's best for the kids" routine. That's a fairy tale. Cooperation requires two people. And the parent listening to that speech? Already knows the other one is incapable.
If you have been told to keep it loose. To trust the process. To wait until the ink dries because you'll get along eventually. Stop. Listen to this episode. Then go demand a parenting plan that actually protects your ass.
Get the Parenting Plan Playbook Masterclass — because “loosey goosey” is just a future court date your lawyer gets paid for.
Here’s What You Can Actually Take Away:
- Loosey Goosey Is Future Conflict On Paper - Vague language is not a contract, it's an open invitation for your high conflict ex to interpret it however they want.
- Your Lawyer Has Never Used The Plan They Sold You - Most attorneys handing out parenting plans have never lived high conflict and have no idea how unenforceable their templates are in real life.
- Vagueness Creates Disputes And Disputes Create Bills - The same lawyer who tells you not to worry about details is the one cashing your retainer when those details blow up.
- Cooperation Requires Two People - Every judge speech about "putting differences aside" assumes both parents are capable, and that's not your reality.
- Your Attorney's Billing Contract Is Detailed As Hell - If they can write a 30-day payment clause for themselves, they can write a clause for who has Christmas Eve.
- You Don't Get Along, You Wouldn't Need A Plan - The fact that you need a parenting plan is proof you can't keep it loose.
- Stay In Your Lane, Larry - Knowing the law is not the same as understanding high conflict, and pretending it is has cost real families six figures.
- Detailed Plans Save You Decades - Eight extra clauses today saves you eight more trips to court over the next decade.
The Truth Bombs
- "Loosey goosey is not a plan. That's not a contract. That's future conflict written on paper."
- "Your attorney's billing contract is detailed down to the damn comma. Yours should be too."
- "Vagueness creates disputes. Disputes pay your lawyer. Connect the dots."
- "If we got along well enough to keep it loose, we wouldn't need a parenting plan in the first place."
- "Stay in your lane, Larry. Knowing the law is not the same as living high conflict."
- "My ex would come for me for crossing the street with the wrong socks on. And you think a loose plan helps me?"
- "The same parenting plan that's been kicked out of that office for 20 years is the same one filling your court dockets today."
- "Every judge speech about cooperation assumes two willing adults. There's always one parent who is incapable. Always."
PURCHASE your own custom plan here:
About to sign something you don't understand? Walking into mediation empty-handed? I can help.
Custom Parenting Plan — I'll write your plan. Built for your kids, your schedule, your high-conflict ex. Not a template. A plan that protects your time for the next 18 years.
The Parenting Plan Masterclass — Learn what strong parenting plans actually look like before you sign anything. I'll walk you through decision making, parenting time, holidays, communication boundaries, and how to prepare for mediation so you know exactly what to ask for and what garbage language to avoid.
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