Nearly New World: Paradise

We continue #SEXtember 2: FORE-play!! with a BLUE LAGOON rip-off - 1982's PARADISE.  Like the BLUE LAGOON, PARADISE spends a significant amount of time exploring what happens when scantily-clad young adults are stranded in the desert and discover each other's body parts are super interesting.  The real plot of PARADISE, though, is the life and times of Geoffrey - the aging man-servant.   

Geoffrey should be retired but, alas, here is... trying to bring Sarah (Phoebe Cates) and David (Willie Aames) to a port so they can both go home to their families.  Poor Geoffrey is completely over his skis and he knows it.  It's a shame we don't spend more time listening to Geoffrey's inner monologue before he is tragically (and willingly) murdered.  Did he give up his life by putting himself in harm's only so he could get away from Sarah and David (probably just David)?  We'll never know.   Instead, we must tolerate child-like temper tantrums by David while Sarah is infatuated with taking showers more than anyone should living in a desert. 

We're also treated to equally amorous Chimpanzees.  One of the Chimpanzees is particularly amorous with himself.  Think about it.  We'll wait.

PARADISE is a very odd movie.  On the one hand, it has the silliness of a children's movie including the aforementioned Chimpanzees and plenty of silly music.  On the other hand, there is a significant amount of nudity. So, PARADISE is not a great family movie.  If you're down for both, then this is the movie for you.  Maybe the only movie for you. Ever. 

We talk about how David and Sarah were able to build a professional-grade beach cabin out of... scraps and palm fronds and how they find copious amounts of fruit in a DESERT!  They learn to make clothes, tan leather and somehow craft cook wear but (for most of the movie) can't figure out how to use a bow and arrow.  Again, this is a kids movie.  A very naked kids movie.

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