The Ebb and Flow of Relationships

How genuine relationship requires us to release our need for the ones we love to remain unchanged, and grief and love as two inseparable dimensions of the same human experience.

This week is hosted as always by Lizzie Winn and Justin Wise of Thirdspace.

This is Turning Towards Life, a weekly live 30 minute conversation hosted by Thirdspace in which Justin Wise and Lizzie Winn explore living with depth, attentiveness and care. Find us on FaceBook to join in the lively conversation on this episode. You can find videos of every episode, and more about the project on the Turning Towards Life website, and you can also watch and listen on Instagram, YouTube, and as a podcast in all the usual podcast places.

Episode Overview
00:00 The Nature of Love
04:38 Growth and Fluidity
08:30 Friendship Dynamics, Seasonal Changes
12:48 Acceptance in Relationships
15:37 The Challenge of Accepting Change
18:32 Navigating Grief
28:40 Letting Go
32:04 The Interplay of Grief and Love

Our source for this week:

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity - in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits - islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Photo by Hrvoje_Photography on Unsplash
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