What would Brian Bevan say

Just how bad was Wire’s performance at Old Trafford? Strap in, because Rob still hasn’t quite calmed down, Sam hasn’t got a caveat left to offer and Dennis has pretty much lost the will to pod.

Will Warrington win at Old Trafford and finally bring the podcast to an end? There’s every chance this really could be the last-ever broadcast. So download Sam dissecting that win at Leeds, Dennis snuffing out the past and Rob squeezing in one Skyrack anecdote too many. It’s been eight years, 194 episodes. Could this really be goodbye? Enjoy

Warrington’s brilliant performance puts them one game away from Old Trafford, so with the podcast in Oktoberfest high spirits, Sam bags himself another Simon, Dennis whistles to the tune of the referees and Rob’s plant-based buffet on an atoll leads to him questioning why Leon Hayes is only 19 centimetres higher than a buffering BBC presenter’s grassy knoll. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

With Wire looking destined to finish third, the podcast questions is their final league fixture a game Tou-lose? Dennis is well and truly pissed after a 12-hour vineyard bike ride, Sam’s goes in search of leadership and Rob senses he's on the verge of being divorced by his fourth wife. Plus, Daniel returns with his goodbyes and the sitcom has a dishy day out. Enjoy. Please subscribe and become...

Three wins in nine days, although, more importantly, has Sam Sankey bought his villa in France? The podcast returns in a positive mood — but will it be tarnished by talk of ADHD, sex workers, Rolf Harris and a tackle-gagging enlargement? Plus, we head to Edinburgh for the Fringe, in search of a hairy sporran. Enjoy. Help support the podcast at www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Yes, following two 40-plus wins against two shit teams, the podcast returns. So, has Dennis turned into Dustin Hoffman? Why does Rob have a blistered ball sack? And can Sam backwash his septic tank? Strap in for 90 minutes of utter bollocks as the podders conclude that yet another season will come down to just three games. Plus, the sitcom embraces Pride Week and there’s London’s all-time Wire ...

Warrington click for 51 minutes, but Sam’s statistics confirm what many feared: that’s it for the season. Dennis feeds Karl Fitzpatrick’s end of season statements into the What WouldBevan translation generator, while Rob continues his quest to raise his core strength above mashed potato. Plus, Daniel is back with his number one in Wire's Top 30 Summer Rugby Countdown and George walks the boards...

Following, you know, the loss to Wigan, the podcast, you know, thinks it knows all the answers. Rob, you know, turns recruitment guru and decides he could probably do, you know, a better job himself. Sam compares, you know, the new NRL TV deal, you know, with Super League and somehow, you know, manages to relate it to his own, you know, cash flow. Dennis calls, you know, everyone’s bluff by tak...

After Warrington fail with their tricks at Magic Weekend, the podcasters’ focus starts to wander. However, Sam still manages to find some positives in his shitistics following a pep talk at Altrincham Market, Dennis goes in search of a new theme tune for Wire and Rob questions why the Dodgems have gone woke. Plus, Daniel returns with his number three, before the sitcom heads to the circus. Enjo...

As Warrington suffer humiliation in their defeat to Leeds, Rob flies off the handle. Was he right, or was it just because he forgot to have his massive morning shit before recording? Sam desperately tries to find a positive but comes up empty, though he does deliver real-time analysis of the game. Meanwhile, Dennis investigates crop circles, wondering if the gap in Burgess’ media training is ju...

Following Warrington’s impressive victory away at St Helens, the podcast returns in buoyant mood. Sam delves into the numbers behind Warrington’s homegrown talent, while Dennis battles both his glasses and an increasingly questionable Robin Day impression. Meanwhile, Rob investigates the curious world of knighthoods and uncovers some surprising statistics behind those who have knelt before the ...

With very little to get enthusiastic about in Warrington's laborious win over Dull, the podcast turns to percentages. Sam has an incredible stat on Max Wood, questioning why on earth has he been dispatched on loan? Dennis acts out his tackle gags and is ever so excited about the FIFA World Cup, while Rob questions why he’s desperately short of the national UK intercourse longevity average. Plus...

As Warrington beat Bradford on a scorching afternoon, Dennis begins exploring alternative drinking venues for the Magic Weekend, Sam feels the radiation from a nuclear power station and Rob’s reactor reacts to absolutely nothing following a blissful 5-star holiday in tropical North Queensland. Plus, Daniel’s Top 10 returns despite there being no ordinary players and the sitcom is hit for six! E...

Following a victory in France celebrated with a wine from a region 300 kilometres away, the podcast asks questions about Wire’s second half performances. Dennis scans an excellent idea, Sam secures his first commission and Rob quizckly lands a big fish. Plus, Daniel’s countdown enters the top ten and there’s a challenging workshop over at the sitcom. Enjoy… and hey, become a patron. www.patreo...

Following Wire’s exit from the Challenge Cup, the podcast turns to physics with an equation of mass over density. Dennis returns from a trip to a 24ft chalky shaft, Sam serves up chicken and one-and-a-half portions of Laydell soup and Rob reveals he has absolutely no core strength whatsoever amd has his rant edited out of the episode. Plus, is Tyrone May the answer to the Captain’s Challenge? D...

As Wire mastermind a victory over the pie eaters, the podcast takes a closer look at whether Warrington’s pegs are in the correct order. With Mrs Sankey away, Sam finally finds time for a decent shitistic and looks set to be podcast employee of the week, before his betting scam. Dennis couldn’t care less about the international game and tells a gruesome story about a matador, while Rob suffers ...

With Sidekick Steve’s move to Hull now confirmed, we ask the question Stuart Pyke forgot to ask… has his effect on the team already worn off? Meanwhile, Dennis becomes a granddad, Sam pauses longer than a captain’s challenge and Rob would prefer it up the arse than a poke in the eye. Plus, there’s a Tony Meo colour clash, a close encounter of the HJ kind and Daniel continues his player countdow...

Time to review not one, not two, but three Warrington matches. Yes.... the podcast returns following its Easter break, with Dennis saving fuel but still touching a UFO, Sam actually enjoying a game & due to sobriety, pays Fitzy a compliment and Rob reminisces about an AIDS scare in Croatia whilst courting Elaine from Doncaster. Plus, Daniel’s back with his player countdown and the sitcom, thank...

It’s four from four… so has there ever been a more positive year of What Would Brian Bevan Say podcast podding? Yes, sit back and relax in the company of Sam’s completely made-up but confident shitistics, Dennis’ techno tackle gags and Rob’s micro penis. Plus, there’s a crucifixion on the sitcom and Daniel returns with more of his player countdown. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Will you have the attrition to make it through the episode? Yes a new low, even by WhatBevan standards. Firstly Sam’s shitistics come with no numbers whatsoever, then Dennis flogs tenuous film star gags and finally Rob takes the lead at Crufts. Enjoy.... oh and become a patron at www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Following two solid wins, the podcast delves into why Wire’s performances have improved. Could it be the new communal dining experience, or perhaps the Halliwell Jones lightshow as it continues to affect the neurodiverse fan base? Either way, buy your ticket for the HJ Express ( oh.. and maybe one more to become a patron) and join 'What Would Brian Bevan Say' as we depart from the platform Fitz...

Join us on a hyped-up episode. Yes, following Wire’s magnificent opening win, there’s nothing but positivity as the podders illuminate a Professor Broomhead-initiated game review, a salsa-fuelled bobsleigh team, a remarkable sober Sam Sankey, Rob’s replica Hockney, and more of Dennis’ wedding celebrations (just don’t mention Gary Glitter). Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

With Dennis still loved up and Mr Sankey still thawing out his calculator from his hibernation, it’s left for Rob to take to the air and cover the Leigh match. Yes, settle back for nearly two hours of uninformative nonsense as the podcast returns for Season 8! Oh… and please become a patron — look, look, the links below. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

The podcast signs off for another year. A huge thank you to all our listeners — but especially to our Patrons. THANK YOU. Without you, this shite wouldn’t be possible. Become a patron please at www.patreon.com/whatbevan See you all next year!

As the players find themselves out of their depth, the podcast takes a plunge behind the scenes. So lap of it up and dive right in as we freestyle until the end of the season. Do you think this rubbish pays for itself? Go on! Please... www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Don’t worry, we’re nearly there. Yes, that’s right, yet another podcast episode regurgitating the same old nonsense. Who gives a shit anymore? We don’t! Enjoy.

The podcast reviews the Wigan and Catalans' matches - even though Sam, Dennis and Rob didn't really watch them. There's a carnival atmosphere on the sitcom, more tackle-sag points than you could shake a stick at, and have you ever smeared wintergreen on your genitals? Quick....quick...somebody call the Samaritans!

It hardly seems worth podding but somehow the podcast continues with another episode discussing Super League's amateurism, a pain au chocolat, an abundancy of tackle-sag points and what Ralph can see from the top of Arthur's Seat. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

As Wire go on a shopping spree the podcast reviews the Catalan and Castleford games. Dennis receives a letter, Sam holds little hope as he plans to bugger off to France, Rob bribes his daughter to lunch and Daniel tracks down Oasis. Plus, the sitcom makes its way to Glastonbury - and should HAL be placed on the Warrington board? Enjoy. Tevita Pangai Jr Knockout https://youtu.be/iG8xVOwbhzA?si=...

The podcast is back to full-length recordings, just as Warrington put in a performance not worth talking about. So strap in as we look at an England squad with f**k-all chance of winning the test series, a 321 Dufty Bin section that goes completely pear-shaped, and question whether Burgess will make it to Hootenanny. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Warrington get back to winning ways, Sam spies from the bushes, Dennis makes crop circles and Rob thinks it's confusing to be a girl. Enjoy.

The internet’s shit in Corfu but it doesn’t stop Rob and Sam discussing their Simons - as they go in search of one for Dennis. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

We podcast unplugged from Dubai, following Wire’s camel shit show. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Summer’s here, and so are our unplugged podcast episodes — shorter, snappier, and still just as shit. Enjoy www.patreon.com/whatbevan

The pod questions are all of Sam Burgess’s eggs in one basket as Wire march towards London? Rob ponders what Mr Shaw filled his cavity with back in 1981. Sam drills the fixture list and predicts that, due to numerous forthcoming cancellations, Warrington can still finish top of the NRL. And with nothing but vanilla insight, Dennis is left to fill in all the gaps. Enjoy - although with this epis...

A rollercoaster set of results leaves the podcast asking, why? Rob reminisces about a girl from Croft prompting Dennis to make his escape. And as Daniel paints a beautiful picture, it’s left to Sam to strip back the canvas in search of Warrington’s coaching provenance. Enjoy. Please become a patron and help support the pod. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Warrington go down valiantly at the Magic Weekend, but does Sam Burgess still have a trick up his sleeve to take his team to Wembley? Meanwhile, Sam fixes technical issues live on air, Dennis does no preparation whatsoever for the pod, and Rob seeks professional advice for his mental health. Plus there's the usual regurgitated Bergerac bollocks, a Fawlty Towers casting and Daniel has more ideas...

There’s pessimism, optimism, and a dose of realism to be found in Wire’s last couple of weeks. Yes, the podcast returns armed with a barrage of facts - as Sam delivers his finest ever “shitsistic,” Dennis sags into AI and the cloning of commentary, and Rob follows through with 3000 dollars of Rustic Orange. Over at the sitcom, George has lost his voice, and Daniel somehow manages to deliver fou...

After Wire’s dour performance against Hull, the podcast goes in search of answers. Dennis visits Shepton Mallet Prison, Rob celebrates his wedding anniversary and Sam downs 1500ml of wine. Plus, Daniel’s not happy with player recruitment as the pod hints towards Oasis tickets. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

It’s two more wins for Wire as the podcast takes a positive-ish look back at the last couple of weeks. Sam is late to the recording, Dennis concocts a winning players’ serum, and as Daniel steps into the Tardis, Rob wishes he could travel back in time to patch up a relationship in the pre-gentrified borough of Islington. Plus, there’s a pop video in production. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Have Wire kicked themselves back on track? The shitistics seem to suggest so. Rob reminisces about the anniversary of his washing line snatch, Sam's convinced his Lymm Dam encounter with Mr & Mrs Burgess worked wonders, and Dennis comes up with alternative Sneyd chants. Plus, Daniel chisels away at Mount Rushmore. Enjoy! www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Warrington are back from Vegas - struggling to find form or confidence. Dennis decides to take the HJ pitch with his dowsing rods, Sam goes dogging at Lymm dam and Rob flush with his winnings turns to Tony Barrow for a solution. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

The autopsy begins as the pod dissects Warrington's pre-game, game and post-game experience in Vegas. Sam beats his caveat record but only 'slightly', Dennis turns his back on the big screen and Rob comes with an over-18 warning. Plus, in the week of The Brits and the planets aligning, the sitcom returns with it's very own Mercury Prize. Enjoy. www.patreon.com/whatbevan

As Wire head over the pond, the podcast ponders Warrington's opening two fixtures. Dennis officially places his first player on sag-watch, Sam shares an anniversary with Daniel's soundbite, and Rob recovers from hospitalisation. Plus, the sitcom arrives in Vegas! Enjoy. Hey you! Yes, YOU! put your hand in your pocket and help fund this rubbish www.patreon.com/whatbevan

A win’s a win but Is there anything more to say about Wire’s victory after their visit to a Yorkshire apocalyptic wasteland? Rob shares news of his recent anal examination, Dennis shows early signs of aluminium dementia, and Sam's managed to patch things up. Plus, there’s Dufty Unplugged, and Daniel's been cloning players. Enjoy! Become a patron and help share the cost of this clusterfuck of a...

As Sam Burgess embarks on the all-important, tricky second album, the podcast returns for yet another season. Strap in for two hours of squad banter, an AI invasion, the ultimate ginger rankings, readers’ letters, a Vegas-themed quiz, a librarian proverb and Lord Melbury's visit to Lidl. Not forgetting there's plenty of caveats. We premiere the award winning new sitcom recorded at Simon Moran's...

Join the podcasters with an hour's therapy session. Yes, Warrington may have fallen short but with an exciting Burgess Second Album due, what could be more invigorating than Dennis' future tackle bag promises, Sam's positivity and Rob's supermarket gossip. Enjoy. We'll see you all back here in 2025. Please help fund the podcast: www.patreon.com/whatbevan

Following Wire's Golden Point win against Saints the podcast prepares for Warrington's trip to Hull Kingston Rovers Rugby League Football Club. Dennis provides a Japanese moment of purpose, Sam illegally tries to purchase tickets for the semi final and Rob's recovering from a harrowing injury. Plus, Alan London tells a BAFTA winner to fuck-off and Hi de Hi is back. Enjoy. This is all getting ra...

As Wire approach their eliminator game against Saints, Sam comes up with pop-up free shitistics. Dennis is concerned by a gate-crashing asteroid and Rob reminisces about a mistaken identity in the Carlton Club. Enjoy.

The podcast struggles to get too enthusiastic following Wire's lopsided victory away at Huddersfield. Lost in translation Dennis admits to the Iberian locals he's an alcoholic. And as Sam tries to be serious for just a second, Rob is more interested in a Ken Davy lookalike. Enjoy.