Eulogy of Jonathan by Nicholas (Cousin)

Thank you all for coming.

I'm the eldest cousin on Jon's mom's side of the family, and I'll be representing his cousins to say a few words in honour of his life. 

His passing was obviously a big shock to us, and after finding out about it I spent most of the day in a daze. Pinched myself every once in a while to see if it was true.

Well, here we are. I think Jon would want us to have fun, fellowship, laugh, and not to take ourselves too seriously about this whole thing. He'd probably be the first to say "chill, grab a beer, pull up a chair and relax". In fact, he taught me never to let anyone drink alone, so as not to let them feel out of place. 

Eulogies. Traditionally, you're supposed to say only good things about the person. Let me start off by saying that Jon was really short. 

Ok short jokes aside, let's focus on one of his other redeeming qualities.

Jon could be so irritating! 

If he knew I was going to speak at his eulogy, I bet you he'd have something snide to say about it. A big part of our relationship revolved around calling each other names and trading jabs. I think Jon used to win those exchanges. I was often the butt of his jokes. He used to love calling me old, and fat, and possibly other things, but those 2 stuck, probably because truth hurts.

Well, I'm gonna say whatever I want now, Jon. I used to trash him at pool and billiards. I'd win every single round of golf, and wipe him out at Texas Hold'em. I won every board game and computer game, beat him in every race, and drank him under the table. Most importantly, I'm taller. It doesn't matter if it's the truth or not, I've got the mike now.

But let's get back to Jon. Looking at the turnout at yesterday's wake, I was so surprised, and glad to see that he's touched so many lives. It's obvious to all that he's really lived an impactful life. Just a cursory glance at his fb wall will give us a better idea of how much he was loved, judging by the number of very sincere condolences and tributes there. I was especially moved by the heartfelt tribute written by his friends from Charlotte Grace.

Even though we cousins grew up together, we more or less led separate lives, sadly, as all too many families do nowadays.

We only saw each other a few times a year, but since 2011, thanks to the initiative of Julia and the miracle of Whatsapp, we've had another channel to keep in touch. 

I like Facebook myself, because I like stalking people's photos, but unfortunately Jon was pretty private on that front and kept most of his incriminating photos offline. I see a few knowing smiles, you know what I'm talking about!

So, we learned a few things about Jon from Mitchell's speech yesterday, especially about his epic new year parties, and how he'd like to make sure everyone had fun. It wasn't inconsistent with what we knew about him though, Jon always was the life of the party.

He was always late to our family gatherings, and things would always be a little quiet until he showed up, and that's when the fun would start. I'm sure you guys know what I mean, he had this most irksome loud laughter that grates on your nerves, but you'll miss it when it's not there.

When he started serving in Sunday school, I slowly but surely noticed that he changed. He was still lively and funny, but there was always a quiet dignity about him when we talked about church. Usually at the cousins table, we'd joke around lightly and no topic was off-limit, but whenever I asked him about his serving in church and tried to make light of it, he would always say his piece, smile, and change the topic. After a while, we got the hint. This was something close to his heart, and I respected him for that. Looking at his students now, and the obvious love they have for him, I am proud of his accomplishments and his life's work, and I am prouder still to call him my cousin.

I guess his love for kids made him call himself my 4 yr old daughter's favourite uncle, but funnily enough, she'd always cry when he went near her. But I guess he must have grown on her, because before she left this hall earlier, she blew him a kiss. I really wish he could've seen my kids grow up, so I could milk him for presents and cakes. Julia, our other cousin, always bought fabulous birthday presents for my kids, and Jon being Jon, he would simply ask Julia to piggyback his name on the gift, so I know I definitely could have squeezed more out of him. He owes all of us cousins cakes too, by the way.

Speaking of cakes, I remember he showed up once with this fig cake and urged us all to try it. It was delicious by the way, and we were heaping him with compliments. that's when I really knew he had some skill. But then he had to go and spoil it all by revealing that it was one week old. Another year, he showed up with 4 small tarts to share amongst the whole family. So typical of this fella right? But to his credit, his pastries were really very nice, and he made this awesome snowman cake for last year's Christmas which absolutely redeemed all of his past shenanigans. 

I would like to say that Jon was a very successful man. He had lots of friends. true and loyal friends. He impacted many children's lives in church. He took a big risk and quit his stable and well-paying job in the air force, to fly all the way to the unpronounceable school at the unpronounceable place in France, realised his dream as a baker, even found himself a wonderful girlfriend, in spite of his 'shortcomings'. That was a short joke.

I still remember when he announced to us on Whatsapp that he found a girl, Jane, and he'd like to bring Jane to one of our family gatherings. Julia and I were absolutely merciless on him, suaning him like crazy. We went on and on, and even threatened to interrogate her with questions like 'what did she see in him'. Yet, he took it all stoically, and at the end of it, I'll never forget what he said to us. "Go easy on her, I really like this one"

We always think that we'll have more time with the people we love, and it was the same for Jon and us cousins. That's why whenever we tried to arrange a gathering and it didn't pan out due to conflicting schedules and priorities, I'd always think "oh there's always next time."

I always meant to visit you at Charlotte Grace, Jon. I always wanted to freeload cookies off you, even though that would mean I'd be the butt of your fat jokes again.  I always meant to play that round of golf with you. I always meant to attend your wedding, love your children, and grow old with you. But all we have now are the memories. At least they are good ones. When we finally meet in heaven, I fully expect you to welcome us with your freshly baked macarons and tarts, and regale us with tales of what it's like golfing with Jesus.

If the saying "good things come in small packages" holds true, then Jon must've been one of the best things that's happened to us. You had one of the biggest personalities, and as we are finding out over these few days, one of the biggest hearts. Seeing how many people have come to pay their last respects, I am humbled and inspired. Jon, you make me want to live my life fully, openly, and without regrets. I've never said this to you Jon, but I'm sure I speak on behalf of all the cousins when I say, I love you. I'm proud of you. We love you. See you on the other side.