I'm Not Doing Okay

I'm struggling a lot with my identity at the moment, alongside finding it hard to internalise what this podcast series is actually about. I'm trying to create self-help, but also, feel as though I'm not in a good headspace to provide any help right now. I feel the lowest I've felt in a very long time, and my daily routine is filled with self-doubt, suicidal fantasies, failure, and crippling depression. It feels as though my internal monologue has betrayed me during this crucial time of need. 

The only way I can help others right now is to document this current headspace journey in an attempt to identify and pinpoint the triggers as to why I feel so painfully low. I plan to post updates in order to assess how I'm feeling so that I'm able to reflect and create a strategic resolution for those that are also in need. 

If anyone listening notices a series of patterns or similarities then please do share that insight with me. Sometimes it's hard to pick up things on your own, so any feedback is much appreciated.