10 Years of Panic Attacks (What I've Learnt)

This photo was taken 10 years ago today at a restaurant for my mum’s Birthday. It was 10 years ago today when I first properly contemplated suicide. During the meal, I had been plagued with these undiagnosed health problems (which later became known to me as panic attacks) and believed every minute that I was about to have a cardiac arrest and die. That evening, I sat in a crowded restaurant fearing that I was about to die in front of everyone, including my family. I also nearly choked on some food due to being so anxious and restless. I remember going to the toilet and thinking about dying there and then, holding back tears. I kept it hidden from everyone as I was so frightened. For months, I accepted my fate that I was dying to some unknown illness that doctors weren’t able to find. I came across this photo again recently and couldn’t stop looking at my eyes. Upon further observation, you can see the fear and terror in my eyes, with the dark bags underneath also conveying how bad my sleeping was too. All the photos of me from that era are the same and it’s quite disturbing looking back, especially in this photo.

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Today, I can look back in confidence about the experiences I’ve made over the last decade and will be using this episode to present 10 key points that I’ve learnt when dealing with panic attacks (and panic disorder in general).

Below, in no particular order:

I really hope that these above points help as many people as possible. I've tried to go into as much detail as possible on each point and am hoping to individually cover a few of these points soon. Apologies for the excessive swearing in this episode also. Here’s to another 10 years!